Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 00:43:29 GMT     IP: 209.99.40.93

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho Jazmin Kow,
I like yur naim a lut. It sowds like yu shud hev yur own kult.

Did de Big Stoogie hev de big beli end fawt alut? End no hauh, 
end de smuking de sigahrettes? Dat hem.

Wuhs yu won uv dem wimins whering de Fourbittin Fwut leder close?

I nut rekognize yu wifowt dem own. Doo yu no de Aner Kafurin en 
de Jerimi end de Rowneat? Dey is nise. I nevir met dem, butt de 
Stoogie sez dey is de nise peepuls.

Dis uh smul wuhls.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 00:47:21 GMT     IP: 209.99.40.93

Dear Fellow Artist et de Shamu Sho Jerimi,
I chik it awl de time. Its jist mee I fink. Sori if eyes nut 
supos too doo dat.
Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 01:34:52 GMT     IP: 63.11.186.83

that's me. i was the leather wearing droog that head butted a man 
in the groin and performed a simulated blow job on stage. what a 
great moment for my parents. big stoogie was really caring and 
would bandage up my foot everyday before performances and would 
talk to me about "boys." anna catherine and jeremy and ronit are 
great people. does little stoogie know them from theatre? does 
she still keep in touch with them? i'm glad i met them. the play 
was definetely not one of my better works, but it was incredibly 
fun to be a part of. what did stoogie b think about it? i'm 
really interested.

yasmin

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 06:19:21 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.82

I don't understand why Yasmin is a cow.

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 07:53:38 GMT     IP: 66.68.58.162

i played a cow in a kindergartener's animal play that shannon 
decided to take on. 
thank you, though, james... if that was supposed to be a 
compliment... i'm going to say yes it was compliment. and now i 
am happy and filled with joy.
yasmin

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 09:37:30 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.55

look for well hung jury roaming around the grounds before 
wednesday's 4th of july festivities. we will be doing some 
guerilla improv and promoting our upcoming shows which are by 
the way at the blue thatre this weekend at 8 o'clock. we're 
going to attempt the first (to my knowledge) dramatic longform 
improvised play in austin. improv drama is a rare thing, so come 
check it out on friday. saturday, we'll be using the same 
suggestion we got on friday and doing a comedic improv play. oh, 
and we're doing on a pre-built set with costumes and props.

good stuff.

live on
jeremy

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 14:28:36 GMT     IP: 198.214.103.196

I too am probably responsible for at least 4 hits per day. Over a 
few months, that shit adds up.

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 19:18:07 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.82

Ear

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 19:40:24 GMT     IP: 198.214.103.196

Lip?

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 20:35:51 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.82

Nope.  Has to start with "R".  But at least we know that Shannon 
is next in the rotation.  R to Shannon.

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 21:00:04 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,
Wuts rong wif bean a kow?
Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 21:59:27 GMT     IP: 209.184.1.123

I get it.

Retina.

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 22:13:27 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.82

Don't ask me.  I just didn't know what the correlation between 
Yasmin and Cow was.  I'm sure being a cow can be likened to being 
a rodent.

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 01:41:17 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.21

going a little transatlantic here..

Arse.

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 04:33:06 GMT     IP: 24.27.43.226

There's going to be a carnival/fundraiser at The VORTEX this 
Saturday, from 10PM til at least 2AM.  It would be very cool if 
after No Shame, everybody headed over to the VORTEX and partied 
down.  There will be lots of beer, probably some munchies, some 
fun stuff to do and most exciting; A KISSING BOOTH WITH RATGIRL 
AS ONE OF THE KISSERS!!!!  So all of you guys and gals and cows 
and whatever who have had that secret fantasy about Ratgirl will 
have an opportunity to fulfill it in some small way (Felino 
Galatico, are you reading this?)  It will only cost $5 for a 
serious saliva swap with your favorite rodent, so save that coke 
money!  Less erotic kisses will be available for a lesser charge.
Don't be scared, put your money where your mouth is (pun 
intended) and keep Ratgirl's lips busy alllll night!

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 13:55:54 GMT     IP: 198.214.103.196

Amie, does this mean that the No Shame ranks will be depleted of 
our Vortex affiliates this Saturday? Or will people be attending 
both soir‚es? I spoke to Ratgirl recently and she made it sound 
like she would be No Shaming this weekend. Now I'm not so sure.

Shannon

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 16:04:54 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho Shannon,

O, no, I wil bee dere! Wee is dooing de shifs et de Kissing Cage. 
I is won uv de lait shiffs.

I nut no weder de Amie is going too de Shamu Sho ur nut.

De Jabba Ratgirl hesnit tole mee yit weder she is going too de 
Shamu Sho ur nut eder, butt shee kin ride wif mee iff she wunts. 
Ar yu weeding dis, Jabba Ratgirl?

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 16:06:43 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Elbo.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 17:32:47 GMT     IP: 24.27.43.226

Now, Ratgirl, you know you asked me to help out with your piece 
this weekend, so you know I will be at the Shamu Sho.  Why did 
you say you didn't know if I would be there or not?  Unless, 
you're booting me from the cast and asking Jobber Ratgirl to 
take my place, in which case, that was a really crappy way to 
let me know about it.  I'm still in, if you want me.  But if you 
don't....well, let's just say my feelings will be very hurt.

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 20:05:36 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Amie,
I didnit ly, Amiee. De Stoogie mite a lyd, butt nut Ratgirl.

De Stoogie tole mee shee didnit no weder yu hed maid up youh mind 
ubowt de bean inn de peese. Itts uh fwee cuntwee. Yu nut hev too 
bee in de Ratgirl peese iff yu nut wunt too.

Beesighs, Stoogie neber gits fings wite, so stup tawkin too huh.
Is yu going too bee yuhsef ore sumbudi es inn de peese? Jis 
cheking. Itt don matur too mee.

I nut hurd frum Jabba Ratgirl sens de Rasling Sho. De redd-hauhd 
stoogie mite nut let huh owt uf hur cagie. Is yu reeding dis 
Jabba?

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 20:06:37 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Oybul.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 03-Jul-2001 21:58:40 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.159

The Red Haired Stoogie?  Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl know Willie 
Nelson??? (laugh James)


jt

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 07:51:38 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.55

lat.
abbr.

jeremy

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 14:26:20 GMT     IP: 209.99.96.24

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho James,
Oky, the wedhedid stoogie.
I nut no Wili Nehsin pursinulli, butt I dunt no abowt de Jabba 
Ratgirl. Shee git arown.
Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 14:30:19 GMT     IP: 209.99.96.24

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho,
Dat nut fare. I nut no how too spel dat. Evin in Rat langij.
Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 15:09:38 GMT     IP: 209.99.96.24

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho De Jamin Kow,
I esk de Stoogie abowt it end shee sed a lut uv fings eye didnit 
rilly unnerstan, butt I tel yu wut I fink I wemimbur wut shee 
tole mee --

She sed it wuhs inturtaning, end dere wuhs a lut uv funi pawts 
too it. She fot dat it fittid in de spase reel wel, end dat de 
kostooms wuhs veri kulurfull end intristing. Awso dere wuhs a lut 
uv de gudluking peepuls in de sho (ore et lees inneristing-luking 
peepuls wif a lut uv de staj prisints). De lubbi dwesing wuhs 
veri apropriet as wel wif de shoking nudee pikchurs.

De fing wuhs dat de droogs end de mane charicktur Alicks wuhs nut 
efektiv as de owtlaw ur de rebel. Stoogie tole mee dat shee finks 
dat de jindur swiching cud wurk, butt it didnit in dis 
predukshun. Purhaps becuz de femail dominatricks is nut a 
jinuinli humin charickter - it is uh artifishul role wifowt depf 
end nuans. Itt wud hev wurkd betur iff de droogs hed bin mor like 
de Lesbien Avinjers end les like de Charlis Angils in de leder 
clos. Si de Stoogie finks dat de imij uv de femail dominatricks 
is a wite mail cweashun dat duhs nut reeli giv de wimin de powah, 
jist de apeerinse uv itt. Dat wy itt nut wurk inn de konteks uv 
de play, becuz de Alicks mus hev de reel (urganik) powah end bee 
de reel (urganik) thret - shee shudnit bee artifishul.

Butt Stoogie sez it a bold atimp, end wurf seeing (end Stoogie 
ses - wurf doing).

I did nut si dat sho butt itt sowns like it needid de Ratgirl too 
bee de starr. No won esk mee yit too bee de starr in dere sho. I 
nut figger owt wy.

Stoogie sez shee wil tell de Big Stoogie too kum too de Shamu Sho 
sumtime too see De Jamin Kow doo de arts.

I nut fink hee wil kum bekuz hee is skerd uv de Panjina end de 
Profalactik Kat end doz whaledung jewelry peepuls.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 15:13:14 GMT     IP: 209.99.96.24

Dear Fellow Artist Jeremy,
I nut fink it helfi fore yu too bee own de Shamu Bored et de 3 
ocluck in de mourning. Yu spos too bee sleeping din. Unliss yu is 
a rattie!
I keep yur seekrit dood.
Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 17:14:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.81

the unabbreviated version is "latissimus dorsi," signifying the 
muscles of the lower back.

However, since Jeremy went with the abbreviated and 
colloquial "lat" (also acceptable), the next round should start 
with t. 

Sorry, we're studying anatomy and physiology in massage class 
right now and i felt like sharing.


from the wastelands,
Jordan T.

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 17:36:09 GMT     IP: 209.99.40.57

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho Jordan,
Denk yus fore dat ansah.
Oky. Mi wurd is:

to

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 04-Jul-2001 21:38:25 GMT     IP: 172.144.45.41

"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that 
talent to the dark place where it leads."
--Erica Jong

"Learn to use five minutes intelligently. It will pay you huge 
dividends." --William A. Irwin

"I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will 
take care of themselves."
--Lord Chesterfield

Looking forward to seeing you all Saturday night. Break a leg. 
Anyone wishing to join me at China on the Avenue at around 8:45 
p.m., I'll be happy to welcome your company.

Laurie Ann

Time: Thu, 05-Jul-2001 16:32:01 GMT     IP: 207.8.81.95

Amie Elyn!

The Vortex is, in the estimation of the Pangaea, one of the 
finest institutions in town.  If the Vortex would have him, the 
Pangaea would love to step into that booth with his good friend 
RatGirl, and offer his ancient lips for money.  There is much 
mystery in them.  That should be worth something.

Time: Thu, 05-Jul-2001 16:42:09 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho Laurie Ann,

Denk yu fore dem nise kwots, Laurie Ann.

I em sori I wil nut bee abul too joyn yus end de udders et de 
China eting plase befour de sho. De Stoogie hes too doo de sili 
ekting wif de Pay Rufus' Big Wite Ass et de Velveetie Rum et de 9 
ocluk. I nut rekamin itt. De Stoogie is nut veri funi.
 
Denk yus agin, nise ladee Laurie Ann.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 05-Jul-2001 16:53:29 GMT     IP: 24.27.43.226

Sure!  Stop by after NO SHAME and we'll put your lips to work.  
Tell everyone you know that the earth will be moving over at The 
VORTEX, thanks to you (and one sexy rodent)!

Time: Thu, 05-Jul-2001 16:54:46 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Panjeeah,

Dat is such a nise fing fore yus too doo! I shure dat yu wil bee 
welkum inn de Kaje uv Kising et de Vortex own de Saturdy. Wee is 
short own de mens kisurs. Wee is going too hev dee moufwush 
annisepik sos yus dunt git de Vortex jurms.

De ownlee fing (I jis fown dis owt) - yus kant keep de munees! De 
Boni Vortex ladee git too keep it too pay de lektrik bil dats 
gott too bee pade buy de surtin dait dis munf, ore dere wil be no 
lektrisitee four de lites end de ayuh kundishining et de Vortex.

Butt dat meens itt evin nisah uv yus too hep buy de kising! 
Espishallee becuz yu mite hev too kis a lut uv byutifull wimins 
hoo wil bee et de Karnivel.

Denk yus muchlee. Jis sho upp wif yur kissuh et de Vortex end wee 
put yus in de Kaj. Iff yu wunt, yus kin ride wif de Ratgirl too 
de Vortex efter de Shamu Sho. Wee awl doo de lait shif togeder. 
It uh bigg, skerri Kaj (it maid uh medil bahs), butt itt dunt 
rilly luk, sos dunt bee skeerd, Panjiah!

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 05-Jul-2001 19:14:42 GMT     IP: 24.27.43.226

Read this week's Articulations column in the Chronicle.  The 
entire thing is devoted to Ratgirl!

Artists take note:  talent and drive may not get you noticed by 
the critics, but pissing (literally)on their reviews in front of 
a paying audience sure gets their attention!

Time: Thu, 05-Jul-2001 20:29:32 GMT     IP: 63.11.185.137

yes, yes, yes. i really liked the idea, but i just didn't think 
it was pulled off correctly. 
everyone in the show had a different vision of what they wanted 
to do with their scenes. each person wanted to glorify themselves 
rather than work together and not pull from the main story. b/c 
of this i felt there was no real continuity throughout. b/c 
everyone was working for themselves the ensemble was weakend. the 
show ended up seeming messy and scattered. 
there many things that lead to the plays ultimate downfall. 

tell big stoogie he better come some time or i personally will 
get pangea to take care of him
xo
COW

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 04:09:47 GMT     IP: 209.184.1.133

And so is No Shame all of a sudden. We were mentioned in Faires 
column and then again in the new little Perfomance section in the 
Chronicle. The new Performance thingy was granted to us by the 
folks over at the Chronicle (the Ratgirl-offending Wayne Alan 
Brenner to be exact)and I'm very glad they did it. Hey, 
publicity, right?

I would like to clarify one thing, especially for those people 
who spoke to me today about the listing. I wrote up a little 
press release blurb for the listing and the folks at the 
Chronicle dressed it up and changed it to suit whatever needs 
they had. I didn't mention Ratgirl in the blurb, and lest some of 
you think Ratgirl is becoming some kind of featured performer or 
something, let me just assure all of you that you are all 
featured perfomers in my eyes. No Shame is for everybody, humans, 
rats, cows, galactic cats, continental land masses. All of you.

For some reason, I'm a little worried about this upcoming show. I 
know it's within the nature of No Shame to potentially suck on 
any given night, and after the anarachic joy of last show and the 
sudden coverage in the press, I'm worried that this next show 
might bomb and we'll lose that fragile little audience we've 
started to amass.

Anyway, see you this Saturday.

Shannon

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 04:30:17 GMT     IP: 216.140.58.164

Does Ratgirl git nekkid for this performance? Word up!

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 06:00:30 GMT     IP: 64.12.104.21

Way to inspire the troops there Shannon..."Not exactly the St. 
Crispin's Day Speech, now was it?"

"We few, we happy few..."

"...We band of buggered."

Sorry, had to slip a little Buffy quote in there.  Quick side 
note, i'm so excited that Austin is getting UPN back.  Buffy and 
Roswell, woo-hoo! (and for the record, i've stopped watching 
Dawson's Creek...so stop wagering on my sexuality, James)

Honestly, i think we have something totally vital and worthwhile 
going on here...regardless of if the shows sell out (which the 
last one did) or if we garner a little local media coverage 
(which we have), we do something that so few people ever have the 
chance to do.  We create these tiny but utterly significant 
windows into truth and lunacy, these brief glimpses of artistic 
ecstacy.  Let's face it, where else are you going to find a guy 
going on a series of monologues about his imaginary and homeless 
girlfriends, listen to the trials and tribulation of an ex porn 
star, witness the final judgment of God, watch a girl shaped 
rodent tap dance AND watch Amy play Bop It? We are pure, we are 
expression, we are the revolution being hosted in our neighbors' 
backyards. We are artists and anarchists, prophets and madmen, 
revealing the absurdity and beauty of life. From Ratgirl to Well 
Hung Jury to Blue High Machine to Mr. Big Shoe and Mr. Horn Pants 
and dear God even Jobber Ratgirl, we are legion. And we're going 
to change the world one non sequitir at a time...

Thus endeth the lesson.

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 07:09:11 GMT     IP: 24.27.43.226

Shannon, Shannon, Shannon....Tsk. Tsk.

Why should an event entitled "No Shame" worry about sucking?

Thanks for the sermen, Reverend.  Amen, brother.

And by the way, I have delightful little piece planned that the 
audience is sure to love!

Ms. Elyn

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 12:09:22 GMT     IP: 209.184.0.173

This is in response to Amie's post.

Oh I know that one shouldn't worry about No Shame sucking, but 
one does have fears independent of one's philosophical and 
artistic stances. 

What has me feeling this way is the tone of the recent mentions 
of No Shame in the Chronicle. I can't tell if they're playing 
along (Robert Faires damn well knows who Stoogie is), or if 
they're sharpening their knives.

Sometimes I'm just a big weenus. (Sp?)

See you all soon,

Shannon

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 15:35:08 GMT     IP: 207.8.81.170

Shannon, 

The thing is this.  We need to get as well as we give.  We've 
taken our fair share of shots at the local media, and if we 
really feel the way we've espoused, then we don't need them to 
keep No Shame real.  If they're gearing up to shred us, so be 
it.  The worst thing that can happen in any given situation is 
that you get shot in the face.  Anything less than that is a 
victory.  Fuck the media.  If they had any sense, they'd be 
thanking us for the exposure.

No worries, mate.  Everything will be just as it always has 
been.  A little hit or miss, a little crazy, and a lot of fun.  
And, really, who gives a shit about the rest.  Am I right?

Mike.

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 16:06:58 GMT     IP: 198.214.103.196

This is all certainly true. And if I really cared about what 
people thought I wouldn't have started No Shame in the first 
place. What I'm getting at is this_if someone came to a show and 
went away saying, "well gee that was a bunch of poorly developed 
sketches just slapped together, I'm never going to No Shame 
again," I'd have to respect that opinion even if I completely 
disagreed with them. What I don't want to have happen is people 
forming opinions about No Shame when they haven't even been to a 
show, which is what I'm afraid is perhaps developing. But you're 
right, fuck it. If you're weak-minded enough to have your own 
impressions shaped and formed for you by a critic, No Shame isn't 
the show for you. 

And I say this because I personally wrestle with this issue all 
the time_did I really like that thing or did I believe the hype? 
I feel like I continually need to scrub out my aesthetic eyes 
with some kind of artistic saline solution because otherwise I 
get lazy and start letting other people think for me. Wow, talked 
about mixed metaphors.

I still feel like I haven't put my finger on what I'm trying to 
say and am probably confusing the issue as well as readers of 
this message board. I'm just being a paranoiac. Anyway, now comes 
silence.

PS_Perhaps my convoluted and self-contradictory reasoning is to 
lay a trap for certain prominent critics who have been known to 
lurk silently on the No Shame boardroom. Beware, No Shamers, 
beware.

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 16:15:00 GMT     IP: 207.8.81.170

I think I actually saw 3-packs of Artistic Saline Solution at 
Walgreen's for 99 cents.  Just in case you need to stock up.  ;-)

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 16:29:42 GMT     IP: 198.214.103.196

I'm curious to hear what Ratgirl thinks about her newfound 
notoriety. And what she thinks of the dude who wants to see 
her "nekkid."

Shannon

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 17:28:05 GMT     IP: 24.93.46.101

Pst.  Aside from local media types with a specialty in the arts, 
the following notables are strongly suspected to be lurking on 
this particular message board.  This info is very top secret but 
rest assured, it comes from a very knowledgable and connected 
source deep inside the global beaurocracy:

Elvis
Ghandi
Jesse Helms
Boris Yeltsin
Margaret Thatcher
Pat Benatar
John Steed
Sasquatch
The Indian Monkey Man
Michael J. Fox
Ted Kennedy
Cancer Man
Princess Diana
Sammy Davis Jr.
Oliver North
Axl Rose
Ernest Borgnine
Cantinflas
La Chupacabra
Anton LaVay
Mr. T
Tanya Harding
Margo Kidder
Jesus of Nazareth

Gotta go, someone is coming.....

Deep Throat

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 17:43:41 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist COW,
Dis is verri entristing wut yu say ubowt de laking uv de 
onsombull becuz de peepuls is gorilafying demsefs. Dis is a 
prolim in a lut uv de art: de story ore de game ore de ideuh uv 
de wurk ass a hol ore wutevir de purpus is is nut de mane gol uv 
inybuddy. Wee is eech wunting too git a gud revu ore wee is 
wunting too impwes are frends ore are coch ore git de lafs ore de 
klapse ore de awurds - dis is wut meens de sucksass too us.

Butt rilly, win wee doo dat, wee is jis finking abowt arsefs, end 
awl dat innerji end fokus dusnit go too heping de art. Iff wee 
wuhs fokus own wut wee wuhs doing end lissin too de udder peepuls 
wee wurking wif end jis paying attinshun wif awl are innerji, den 
de art mite wurk end rilly be sumting wurf doing.

It wurf a tri inyway.

Mooshoo, de Ratgirl's Chef Art Gooroo, hee awways esks de peepul 
wy dey is doing de art. I esks misef dat a lut. End de ansur is 
sellfish a lut. Ore pawtlee sefish. Dat nut gud. Fore inybuddy 
dat hes too bee arownd de Ratgirl. Nufin wurs din de sef-
endulljunt arts. Hoo wunt too luk et dat?

Dis is jis mee finking. I nut no iff it makes cents.

Denk yu, COW, fore sharing de ensites into de prosess uv de 
making uv de Cluckwurk Orij sho. It is verri fasinating too lurn 
abowt udder peepuls finking.

I tel de Big Stoogie hee bedur kum to de sho ore yu wil putt owt 
de hit own him. Dat maybee make hem nurvis.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 17:55:05 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho end de Deep Fwote,
I sori, butt I giv de Munkee Man de adriss too de site. Hee is my 
kuhsin frum de Endea. Hee nut speek de English verri gud. Hee 
speek mosli de Parsi end de sumtin els end de Sowvurnashin 
dialeck uv de Rat langij, uv cors. Hee awso speek de Surbo-
Kwoashun becuz, fore sum weesin, awl de rats speek de Surbo-
Kwoashun. It won uv dohs weerd filojistical fings.

Hee prolli jis lurking becuz hee in de huspitall efter being 
beetin up bye dat gang uv wite tiggers.

Wurd upp, Kuhsin de Munkee Man.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 18:03:39 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

De faim so far hesnit spred too de bank akownt sos I nut fink 
verri much uv itt.

I is nut planning too gits nekid fur de nekst Shamu Sho, butt it 
is nise too no dat dere is sum entrist in seeing de nekkid 
ratties. Mi brudders Mortimer end Marcel reesintlee preeformd 
nood et de Uncaged! wich sum uv yus peepuls seen.

Dat wuhs de onlee nooditee in de sho, end I wuhs suprisd dat no 
won maid much uv itt.

I fink dat wuhs de furst nekkid rattie sho in de Austin 
metripulitin awea.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 18:35:01 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et the Shamu Sho end de Big Weenus,

Wee jis doo de peesis. Iff ar heds is inn de peeses end nut inn 
de awediese ore sumplase els wee be oky.

Dis isnit abowt being gud ore abowt suking. Its abowt doing de 
peesis, fore eech udder end fur arsevs.

I sooprize et yu peepul. Wut is yu skeerd uv? Dat de wurl wil see 
ar weeknissis end ar floss fore wut dey is? Ore dat wee wil awl 
stawt playing too de awediense end de revuers end chanj wut wee 
ar doing too fitt sum ideah uv wut is gud ore wut is akseptibull 
ore wut is art ore wut is wisk ore wut is eksperimintull ore wut 
is theatur ore wut is wurf fife dullahs?

De troolee subversiv art kinnut bee subvertid. (I maid dat up. 
Plees atriboot dis end udder kwotes too de Ratgirl Rattus. End 
awl cheks kin bee maid owt too de saim.)

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 18:47:12 GMT     IP: 198.214.103.196

Yeah, I don't know what my fucking problem was last night. I 
think I was coming off a weird hangovery kind of vibe from a 
couple days before and then some people who I saw were I think 
upset at me for the way the press release looked in the Chronicle_
they thought Ratgirl was perhaps getting too much attention, 
especially for a show that's so wide-open and freeform.

Anyway, my time of putziness is over. Come one, come all, hate it 
or love it, No Shame is going to rock your ass this weekend. I 
haven't figured out what I'm doing yet, but I guarantee it will 
be my weirdest piece to date. And it will kick ass. Or not. Who 
cares.

Long live No Shame.

Shandar the Barbarian,
Slayer of Doubts

Time: Fri, 06-Jul-2001 21:26:22 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Chandalear Barbi, Doot Slayer,

I nut no wy de put de Ratgirl in dere. I ges it Ratgirl weke et 
de Krunicull.

Mebbe dey is kising upp too mees too git de fwee teeshurt.

I awl owt uv de XXXL end de Mediums. Sori.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Sat, 07-Jul-2001 00:40:35 GMT     IP: 204.62.245.243

Yeah, well, whatever. It's much easier to be negative. Creators
and critics, designers and analysts, it's much easier to be the
one with the screwdriver trying to pry the magical black box open.
Damned if you really understand how all those pieces fit together
or what they were thinking when they put that widget together.
Frankly, I'm a bit more concerned with how I feel about my
projects, what my friends and peers think about them, what the
audience thinks. In that order.

Besides, Whatzhiznutz over at The Chronicle gets paid by the
column-inch. I don't. The most I get out of this is a free pass in
exchange for four minutes thirty in the bright and sweaty section.
Hardly something that'll push me into the next tax bracket. So
there.

Bah. I've nattered too much about this as it is. Before tomorrow
night, I have to cull the weakest of my twenty poems ("The Ratgirl
Tanka", based on elements of the last No Shame show.) Maybe I'll
get a disposable review of my disposable art. :)

Hopefully you'll like it, maybe you won't. Either way, it's five
minutes or less. And it's mine.

-- Bob

Time: Sat, 07-Jul-2001 19:19:29 GMT     IP: 64.12.102.167

Well, it's sad to say, but i will not be at the No Shame show 
tonight...after rocking the Blue Theatre last night with a nigh 
two hour improvized drama, the Well Hung Jury (of which i am a 
proud member, asifyadidntknow) will follow up with a longform 
narrative comedy.  The show starts at 8, so if anyone feels like 
filling their evening completely with subversive theatre, there 
are directions and maps up on our website, wellhungjury.com. 
However, we in the troupe must engage in the not-fun part of 
theatre after the show: moving stuff. So we will not be in 
attendance, but as the spiritual leader of the Jury i feel 
justified in sending all of tonight's performers our good wishes 
and hopes for a wonderful show. I'm very anxious to hear and 
read about all of the amazing and bizzare things that happen 
tonight.  Good show all!

And since i won't be there tonight, i'll just say what i was 
going to do here instead...as many of you may know, a legend 
passed away a short time ago (actually, quite a few 
legends...Jack, Carol, Chett, we'll miss you all).  So i had a 
little memoriam planned for Mr. John Lee Hooker, a blues god who 
in all likelihood probably helped me get through high school. A 
single candle on a stool. At the feet of the stool, an empty 
bottle of bourbon, an empty bottle of Scots, and an empty bottle 
of beer as Boogie Chillun plays in the background. RIP, John 
Lee...the angels are the luckier ones for having your music now.

Time: Sun, 08-Jul-2001 16:32:29 GMT     IP: 24.93.46.101

I just wanted to thank everyone at No Shame last night for the 
love and warmth I felt during my piece.  Together, we can remove 
the negative and ugly connotations associated with the 
word "cunt" so that we can use it just a freely and openly as we 
use the words "dick", "cock", and "prick".  Now THAT'S equality.

And for all of you beautiful No Shame souls who attended the 
VORTEX Carnival afer the show, I personally want to shout out a 
super THANK YOU!  It was so nice to see you all there and I 
sincerely hope you had a good time.

And for all of those No Shamers who paid money to kiss me, all 
I'm gonna say is WOW!  Not only are you artistic and fabulous 
individuals, you're all really hot kissers!  If I had money, I 
would have paid to kiss some of you again!  I hope you got your 
money's worth from yours truely.

By the way, we made enough to pay the electric bill.  The VORTEX 
isn't going anywhere just yet!

Thanks again.  I had a lot of fun last night.   

Time: Mon, 09-Jul-2001 20:17:59 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.222

Hey everybody.

I thought this last show was pretty good, and it was nice to see 
so many new faces among the performers. Out of the 11 pieces we 
had last week, five of them were by people who had never 
performed at No Shame before. That's fantastic, I think. The 
more people who come out and try the format the better. Iowa 
City has periodically gone through periods where various people 
think the performers are too cliquey and exclusive. I hope that 
doesn't happen here, and based on the way the last show went I 
don't think that's a danger.

I'll be posting the order and a review later this week, but I'm 
pretty swamped today.

Best regards everyone,

Shannon 

Time: Tue, 10-Jul-2001 04:40:39 GMT     IP: 204.62.245.243

Hi,

I was afraid I was a little too self-referential but I didn't feel
anything like an exclusive attitude (but after two shows, what do
I know?) I like the space and the format of No Shame and it's
doubtful I would have emitted my goofy verse at any other venue.
That I found No Shame inspiring had a lot to do with it, though
next time I'll try something requiring a little less context. I
can't guarantee it won't have masked wrestlers in it though...

Thanks to Shannon and everyone for putting on the show. I had a
great time.

-- Bob 

Time: Tue, 10-Jul-2001 22:08:55 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho, inkooting de nu peepuls, end 
Bub,

I sori wee cudnit stay too see de hole sho. Wee nut normullee doo 
dat wear wee leevs efter ar peesis is ovur. Wee likes too wach de 
udder peepuls too, evin de weerdos. Nut jus arsevs. Weel, moslee 
wee likes too bee own de stage, wif de peepuls luking et us. Dats 
nise.

Bub, I fink dat yur pooetree wuhs rilly nise. Wy yu nut where 
mebbe de kimoano wif de pink flowahs own itt? Yu wudiv luk so 
pritee. I hed too clos mi eyes inn fink uv yu dat way wile yu 
reed de pooetree. I fink nekst time, mebbe yu shud where de 
kimoano inn mi mind.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 12-Jul-2001 16:18:49 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

Wy nut wee diskus sumfing.

I wunt too diskus sumfing dat inneress mee.

Britney Spears.

I fink shee rilly nise, end I like de way she duhs de dansing.

Wut yu peepuls fink?

Nu peepuls?

Ole peepuls?

Dis idnut no click. Dis is kumpleetlee opin diskushin.

I make fun uv devribuddee.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 12-Jul-2001 16:32:43 GMT     IP: 24.93.46.101

I like Britney better than Christina cause she doesn't seem as 
bitchy.  Some people think Christina can sing better, but I don't 
think so.  Sounding like a dying cow isn't singing, it's called 
being a Mariah wanna-be.  Christina seems snooty.  Plus, she's so 
skinny I can barely see her.  And her hair is a very unnatural 
shade of bleach.  The guy at Hot Topic in the mall said he went 
to high school with Britney and that she's really cool and nice 
to everybody even though she got famous when she was still really 
young.  I look at Christina and I see ice, cold and unforgiving.  
But mostly, I like Britney better because Madonna wore a Britney 
Spears T-Shirt out on the town one evening, and if Madonna likes 
her better, then where's the argument?  Madonna is really smart 
and she's been around so I think she's the better judge.  So all 
in all, I have to agree with Ratgirl and say that Britney is 
better, dispite the Pepsi endorsement deal.  I can forgive her 
for that small slip up, cause she's still young and learning the 
ropes.  Besides, Madonna made the same mistake, endorsing Pepsi, 
and even though that blew up in scandle and Pepsi dropped her, 
she still did ok.  So there's hope for Britney.  Keep working it, 
girl!

Time: Thu, 12-Jul-2001 17:35:13 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho end Amie,
Hev yu scene de Pespi postur wif de Britney own itt? It is rilly 
nise. I wunt won. Britney luks veri coot own de postur end dere 
is luts uv kulurs own itt sos it wud dekorait a rum rilly niselee.

Dat udder gurl is nut ass charming ass de Britney Spears in mi vu.

Wut doo yus udders fink abowt de udder gurl? Is shee jis de Jabba 
Britney, ore a reel talin own hur own?

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 12-Jul-2001 18:47:51 GMT     IP: 209.99.57.204

I like Britney.  She's just swell.

Christina is a better singer but so is everyone else.  Any one 
who heard Britney sing, undistorted, at the Super Bowl knows that 
she is just awful.  She can dance, but she isn't anything 
special.  And the only song that she's written for herself to 
sing, "Dear Diary", really pretty much sucks.  So she can't sing, 
she can't write, she can't play any instrument and her dancing 
abilities are, comparably, not great.  And she's still the 
biggest pop sensation in the country.  That's why I like her, 
she's commentary on the state of our society.  She's famous 
because she's hot.  That's cool.

James

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 00:51:45 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.36

Christina has no control over her voice, seems like a total skank 
and had a part in that awful remake of Lady Marmelade.  No 
forgiveness on my part here.

Britney seems nice enough, even if i don't like her singing or 
dancing, etc.  It's like i told Jon and Ace one time, i'd sleep 
with her...but i wouldn't respect her in the morning.

And if we're talking about hot chicks in music, i'm gonna have to 
give my vote to Dido, Gwen Stefani and Faith Hill.

And in the acting category, i'm currently entranced with Eliza 
Dushku, Anna Paquin and Natalie Portman.

Still, if Britney wanted some from the good Reverend, who am i to 
deny a pop sensation?

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 15:18:59 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Revrind Tawt,

Denk yus fore yore fwank apinions. I em bigining to fink dat awl 
de mens like de Gwin Stifahnee end de Fafe Hill. Deys bof veri 
preti, seem nise, end kin akshulee sing. I nut no dis Didoo 
pursin.

I awso see de atrakshun inn de Ana Pakwin end de Natlee Portmin. 
Dey hes bof gott de bigg eys dat say, "Im lost, big fella, kin 
yus hep mee." I nut no dis Elizard Dushkoo purson.

Butt bak too de Britney Spears disskushun,

I wuhs privilij too si de fim "Kristin: Becoming Britney..." own 
de teevee de udder nite. Dis is wear de reel gurl name Kristin 
(she's jis sum gurl nobuddy nos dat win de cuntist ore sumting) 
gits too remake de Britney Spears video Ooh Baby.

Dee amazing fing wuhs dat de Kristin, evin do she wuhs pwettier 
end fwinner den de Britney, dis Kwistin jis luk like a dodo in de 
video. She wuhs doing awl de Britney moves end de singin de 
sawung, butt she jis luk like de dodo. She wuhs nut evin as pweti 
ass Andee Dick win hee remade dat same video.

Fwum seeing dat bof de Kwistin end de Andee Dick fael where de 
Britney suckseed, dis tells mee dat shee got de stuff. Eeder dat 
ore de peepul dat put own hur makeup doos a rilly gud jub.

Purhaps wee kin disscuss de cumparisun uv de Kwistin end Andee 
Dick vurshun uv de Ooh Baby video nekst.

Wut yu fink?

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 15:25:56 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

Oky, doos inybuddy likes de Kate Hudsin ore? Doos yu fink she 
rates de atinshun she gittin latelee. I fink shee jis owt dere 
inn de muvees end de magazeens end de tauk shos becuz uv hur 
mudder end hur husbind is famus end innuresting. Wut yu fink?

I kinna feel like de overlode own de Kate Hudsin latelee. She 
jis kinna doos nufin fore de Ratgirl.

Oky, I doos like de close she wheres. Shee got de oky tast.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 15:32:18 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

Let's tauk abowt art. Wut de hel is itt?

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 15:53:17 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Is dat ladee dat did de drawing own de wawul too de moosik going 
too doo dat agin?

I like dat. Mebbe she kin doo de riting end Ratgirl kin tell de 
storee uv de riting.

How I git in towch wif dat ladee? Inybuddee no hur?

Awulso, Roy de bubul boy, is yu stil kneading de Ratgirl fore 
yur nekst peese? Mebbe wee shud pracktis dat. Sumtimes I like to 
pracktis mi peeses befores I doo dem. Too makes shur dere is no 
unnesisary nooditee, violins, ore cussing in dem.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 16:20:47 GMT     IP: 198.214.104.131

The woman who did the painting on the wall is name Lisa. She's 
the summer roommate of our very own Yasmin Kittles (Cow). You 
could contact Yasmin to find out the likelihood of Lisa doing 
another painting.

The one thing I should say is that she got some paint on the 
Hideout stage. Not a lot, but it would fall under the definition 
of harming the stage, which we strongly discourage at No Shame. 
Maybe a tarp or drop cloth on the floor for the next one, if 
there is one.

More soon.

Shannon

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 17:27:53 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et de Shamu Sho Shanin,

How yus nose itt wuhs de Lissa's panting end nut sumbuddee's BLUD?

Denk yu fore de inforemashun. I wil esk de Jazz Kow abowt de 
Lissa panting wif mee.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 21:22:09 GMT     IP: 172.138.78.241

I tell you, I have Britney's Pepsi commercials from the Oscars on 
tape and I just gaze in awe at the whole campaign, watching them 
over and over again. I wish I had some editing equipment so I 
could make a DVD of the commercials for better accessibility. I 
can certainly understand that guy who's at the burger restaurant 
being mesmerized by the shimmying classy chassis of that 
youngster. I guess the Mickey Mouse Club IS a good grounding, 
after all, to develop into a teen sex queen. I mean, look at what 
happened to Annette's career after Disney? And check her out 
in "Back to the Beach," esp. in the "Jamaica Ska" number.

So, I can be a fan and not be jealous. There's room for the two 
of us in show biz.

Ratgirl -- Annette's another rodent-like girl who made it to the 
big time. So, there's hope for you, you little whiskery missy. 
Just don't lose too many pieces of tail. 

I also took issue with the grape gumdrop idea in the Dating Game 
sketch. A guy like that ::::: deserves a big ole pickled Haba¤ero 
pepper!

Laurie Ann Poole

"Layla LaShelle"
"Layla Anthony"
"Laurie Ann Van Vleck"
"Laurie Ann Shellorne"
"Laurianne Jameson"
"Laurie Ann Arden"
"Laurie Ann Azarin"
"Andrea Valentine"

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 22:09:30 GMT     IP: 172.140.25.81

Art: I know it when I see it and I know what I like. You feel it 
in your craw in a kind of shuddering, fluttering tickling, like 
the elevator has dropped out from under you.

You know what I liiiiike: Chantilly lace and a pretty face, and a 
ponytail a-hangin' down, and a wiggle in a walk, and a silly 
talk, makes the world go 'round, 'round 'round, ain't nothin in 
the world like a big-eyed girl, makes me act so funny, makes me 
spend my money, makes me feel real loose like a long-necked goose,

Oh, Baby that's a-what I liiiiike!

The day the music died, the Big Bopper died.
La Bamba died.

Art is what challenges you and you may come away from it with a 
changed world view. Experiencing art, you get such an enrichment 
of your intellect and emotions, in a very visceral way, that you 
may go on sensory overload. That's when you're having F-u-n with 
a Capital F! That's when a piece of art is successful.

Aspiring artist,
daughter of artists, art teacher
sister of an artist, art teacher

Laurie Ann Poole

"Layla LaShelle"
"Layla Anthony"
"Laurie Ann Van Vleck"
"Laurie Ann Shellorne"
"Laurianne Jameson"
"Laurie Ann Arden"
"Laurie Ann Azarin"
"Andrea Valentine"


"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
-- Frank Zappa

"The present day composer refuses to die!"
-- Edgard Varese

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It 
is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It 
is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science 
and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears, and 
the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of 
imagination. That's the signpost up ahead--it is an area which we 
call... THE TWILIGHT ZONE."

Time: Mon, 16-Jul-2001 18:33:08 GMT     IP: 24.93.46.101

At last!

Show #1

The Chairs by Eugene Ionesco at The State Theatre

What a lot of fun!  Great acting, great directing, great sets, 
great lights, great play.  The best thing I've ever seen at The 
State, hands down.  Highly recommended and very entertaining.

Show #2

Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmund Rostand (I think that's right) at 
The Vortex

This is the annual Summer Youth Theatre production.  One of the 
better "kids shows" I've seen.  The teens in the production do a 
fine job with the material.  The adults aren't half bad either.  
If you like the Cyrano story, this is a good show to see.  The 
play has been cut down substantially, so you get the story 
without sitting in the theatre for more than 4 hours.  Plus, 
it's a good glimpse at some of the talent coming up for the 
future.  A great program to support.

If any of you lovely souls get a chance to see either of these 
shows, let me know what you thought.

Amie

Time: Mon, 16-Jul-2001 19:16:26 GMT     IP: 66.68.58.162

art is tra backwards.

Time: Mon, 16-Jul-2001 19:26:33 GMT     IP: 66.68.58.162

hey yeah,
she's my best friend. her name is lisa. she's absolutely 
terrified at the thought of speaking in front of an audience, but 
i'm sure she'd love to do something with you if it does not 
include doing that. e-mail me or e-mail her... 
lisauhlemann@hotmail.com

oh, also, kristen becoming brittney was excellent. i think the 
reason it did not look as good as the actual video is b/c they 
were not making an actual video. when they make brittney's videos 
they are ready to spend as much time and as much money as it 
takes and the video is probably not made all in one day. you 
could tell that they did not nearly use as much effort on this 
video by merely looking at the film quality. in brittany's video 
they used some kind of blurring device for severalportions and it 
looked absolutely ridiculous in kristen's video...i, also, think 
brittany is a pretty good dancer, and this girl showed potential 
but wasn't nearly as good... that's all for me.

yasmin

Time: Mon, 16-Jul-2001 21:18:50 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

I'm glad to hear that the production of The Chairs is good. The 
poster makes it look terrible. I was a little worried that it 
would be all cutesified. But the play is awesome and I've heard 
that Tuna guys is good. So, neato.

Two other shows y'all should see, which I of course have 
mentioned to you No Shamers before. Go see Wicked Cricket's 
inaugural dance show. I saw it last night and I thought it was 
totally great. I'm not the most knowledgeable of dance critics 
and don't have much of a dance vocabulary, but it was way cool.

Also, Catch 24's Circus of the Mundane opens this weekend. 
Everyone in the show has performed at No Shame at least once. I'm 
in it and I don't know how objective I can be, but I think it's a 
really good show. At the Hideout at 8 on July 20, 21, 27 and 28. 

See you soon.

And don't worry, the order is coming from the last show one of 
these days. And maybe more stuff, too.

Your host,

Shannon

Time: Tue, 17-Jul-2001 17:19:29 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

I sekind de Amie's advise abowt de Chars. Itt wuhs rilly fun end 
innertaning. I lafd mi ass off.

Be shur yus sits in de S1 end de S2 seets becuz dem ar de best 
seets too si de sho inn. I sez dis becuz sum udder peepuls sits 
in udder seets end dey nut like de sho. I kinnut esplane dis 
deevurginse inn ar opinions essept dat de chars wee wuhs sitting 
inn wuhs gud. Eeder dat ore de udder peepuls wuhs nut waching de 
wif de same eys ass us. Ore dey jis nut like de obsurd drama. Ore 
dey nut feel de majik uv de live theater esperiense becuz dey 
wuhs bovurd by disstrashuns.

I nut no wy awl de peepuls nut hev de fun wee hed et de sho. Itt 
wuhs grate! De best sho I seen so far. Betur den de TESLA 
consirt. I luv it!

I nut seen de Seranno Pepur sho yit, butt I go si itt dis weke. I 
rilly like de Beetles, sos I hoping it is gud like de TESLA 
consirt wuhs. Dat wuhs sum gud fun.

I wunt to si de Wikid Kwikit sho dis weke too, if I kins. I like 
to wach de dansing ladees.

Duhs de Circus uv de Insane hev iny dansing dawgs in itt? I like 
de dansing dawgs. I nut no iff I kin see awl dese gud shos end 
stil dew de Shamu Sho to. Itt is so hard too fits it awl inns.

Is dere iny matinays uv de Circus ore de Wikid Kwikit sho?

Denk yu.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 17-Jul-2001 19:04:08 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

Ratgirl,

Here's what I would recommend:  Go see Wicked Cricket on Sunday, 
July 22nd. That's the last day of their show. Then come see Catch 
24 the following weekend, either on Friday the 27th or Saturday 
the 28th. This way you can maximize your show time fun without 
conflicting with No Shame. Just my advice.

Shannon

Time: Tue, 17-Jul-2001 19:12:53 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

A certain song-writing friend has made it known to me that he 
would like Jobber Ratgirl to attend the next No Shame. I'm not 
sure if this is so he can cast Jobber Ratgirl in a piece or so 
he can get to know Jobber's stooge or what. If anyone knows the 
whereabouts of JR or her stooge, please put out the word.

Shannon

Time: Wed, 18-Jul-2001 21:54:05 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et de Shamu Sho Shannon end de song-riting 
fren,

I told de lil stoogie to tel de broun stooge to tel de ridheerd 
stooge dat de peepuls et de Shamu Sho wus luking fore de Jabba 
Ratgirl. I nut no wear shee bin. I fink shee mite bees own de 
sawaticul.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 19-Jul-2001 05:44:04 GMT     IP: 24.28.69.181

Alas, once again I shall not be able to attend No Shame.  I have 
rehersal.  However, I'm sure it will be a fabulous show and I 
look forward to reading the discussions about it that are sure 
to follow.

Throughout August and the first weekend of September, I will be 
appearing in The Gypsy Chain, a production of the dirigo group, 
at the Center for Mexican American Cultural Arts.  I hope to be 
able to come to No Shame once the show opens, however, since it 
might be a long show, I can't make any promises.  But I will do 
my best because I have some seriously fun stuff in planned for 
you guys!

Kick some artistic ass this weekend!

Amie

Time: Thu, 19-Jul-2001 16:57:50 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Jabba Ratgirl kin bee reechd et jobberratgirl@hotmail.com.

I tels hur yus is luking fore hurs butt I nut no yit hur bigg 
plans fore de Shamu Sho.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 10:33:57 GMT     IP: 168.215.249.51

Dear World,

Speaking from my vast experience of comedy work (Second City TV, 
American Pie) I can honestly say that Catch 24's Circus of the 
Mundane is some of the best sketch work to come out of Seattle 
in a long time. Sure, Almost Live had its high points but how 
long can Bill Nye do Speedwalker and keep a straight face about 
it. Take it from me. I've been all over this great wide comedy 
world. I used to know Dave Thomas.
Take my word, if you enjoy sketch comedy as much as I enjoyed 
working on Armed and Dangerous with Meg Ryan and the fat guy 
from Uncle Buck, you'll love the fucking shit out of Catch 24's 
Circus of the Mundane.

http://www.catch24.org

Sincerely funny,

Eugene Levy
LevyGenes@hotmail.com

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 18:55:38 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Mr. Levy,

Denk yus fore dis gracing ar bored.

I wish dat I cud go too si de Sirk du Munday, butt mi stoogie wil 
nut mis iny uv hur shos sos I kin go seize it.

I wish dat yus hed sum mattyknees ore de Sondy sho, butt Is 
unnerstand de problims wif dat, to.

I fink gud fots abowt de Sirkis, end hope dat yus Sirkis Peepuls 
wil hev de GUD SHOS!

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 18:58:49 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Laurie Ann,

I agris wif awl uv dat. Yus hev a way wif de wurds dere, Laurie 
Ann. Mebbe yu lets mee kwot yus win I stawt dooing de speechis.

Denk yu fore kuntwibooting yur fots own de wut is de art end wut 
de art is.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 19:00:33 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist yasmin,

End art is rat misspilld.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 19:07:46 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist yasmin,

I sori I nut cawl de Lisa yit. I scene hur et de Hideowt de udder 
day win I wint inn dere too gits a kofi wif de Amie befor wee 
scene de Chares. Butt I wuhs to skerred too esk hur too doo de 
peese wif mee. I afrade see nut rimimbur mee frum de Shamu Sho, 
end shee mite laf et mee.

I wil sin hur en emale end tel hur abowt mi idear.

Denk yus four giving me hur adris. Dats veri nise uv yus.

Own de Beekuming de Britney:

Yes! I totilly agwee wif yu own de PREDUCKSHUN VALYEWS is 
emporetint too de Britney Spears vidios. End dey totilly 
shirtchanjd de Kristin wif dat!

Si, I scene de Making Uv dat vidio end itt wuhs fimd own a sown 
stage, nut a stoopid skuel. Dey trik de Kristen. End shee so nise 
shee beleev dem!

Denk yus agin fore yus ansering de Ratgirl kwesshuns.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 19:12:39 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Amie,

I sori yu nut going too see de Ratgirl's nekst peese. I fink yu 
like it. It nut got de saim litterawee apeel like a peese like de 
Imajinaree Vajina, butt it stil a innerwesting peese I fink.

Say hillo too dose Ready Go peepul. I nos dey is seekwitlee de 
big fans uv de Ratgirl. Evin iff dey nut no itt yit.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

P.P. Yus nut jis afrade too go bak too de Shamu Sho efter singing 
de kunt song, is yu? Cuz wee nut hole it agins yu.

RG

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 19:15:14 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Laurie Ann,

I mite wunt too bory dem vidios sum time, iff dat oky.

Awso, I take de hot pippah idear unner adwismint. Mi lawyahs sed 
dat Is got too yews sumding sof end nun-tocksik.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 19:21:04 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Shannon,

I doo wut yu say fore de Wikid Kwikid. End I tri too put de 
Stoogie in de Klawsit own de nekst Fwidy ore Saturdy sos I kin si 
de Money Sirkis.

Denk yus four yur hep wif mi maksimisingashun uv de times. Dats 
veri fotfill uv yus.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 20:28:05 GMT     IP: 24.28.69.181

Nope, Ratgirl, I'm not worried about coming back to No Shame 
after the 'Cunt' piece.  I felt the love from you guys.  There 
weren't any Boobie Dans in the audience to get all offended and 
try to beat me up, so I was lucky.  I will be back, but I have 
to reherse this other show and I can't get out of it.  I signed 
a contract.

Also, all interested parties should check out the latest issue 
of Harper's Bazaar magazine.  Britney is on the cover, looking 
very Madonna in her black leather.  Who cares if she can't sing 
as well as some other Teen Divas?  Madonna can't sing all that 
well either, but it didn't stop her from becoming the biggest 
and most famous female Pop Star in the World.  Talent comes 
secondary to having 'it'.

Amie

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 20:58:16 GMT     IP: 204.64.251.69

Hello, Eugene. You likely don't remember, but, we had lunch 
together one day on location of "Don't Get Me Started," where 
you, Jamie Lee, Christopher Guest and I were eating on the side 
porch of that great mansion in Pasadena, CA. (I was a chef in a 
seconds-long extra role.) I've gotten a kick out of seeing you in 
movies since that time. Good to see a post from you on the No 
Shame Boardroom. I've enjoyed working out on the No Shame stage 
here in Austin, Texas.

Laurie Ann
"Laurianne Jameson"

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 21:05:14 GMT     IP: 204.64.251.69

I think the best evaluation of Madonna's singing voice was the 
reviewer who said (the name escapes me now), "she sounds like 
Minnie Mouse on helium..." Of course she did get better as she 
rehearsed and performed more. I have the tape of her performance 
of "You Must Love Me" on the Oscars when that song was up for 
best song from "Evita," and have viewed it many times (and many 
more times zipped through it). Even though her singing was an 
improvement for ***her***, any other singer who had that poor 
level of breath control, intonation and phrasing would NEVER have 
been hired to perform on the Shrine Auditorium stage, much less 
Broadway, off-Broadway, and, doubtfully, any major metro area 
musical theatre stage.

But, because she was MADONNA, she got that chance. Oh, well, it's 
no surprise that America values style over substance. What better 
proof is there than TV, movies, pop music and politics???

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 21:08:44 GMT     IP: 204.64.251.69

According to the calendar, No Shame is for Sat. the 28th and not 
this Sat. the 21st. Am I reading it right, guys -&- gals??? That 
would explain why no listing in The Chron under performance, as 
before, not that it helped attendance any. :-(

Do hope to see you, Amie. Now, Rosanne no longer can lay claim to 
the most shameful rendition of the National Anthem in the annals 
of live performance.


Laurie Ann

Time: Fri, 20-Jul-2001 21:11:22 GMT     IP: 204.64.251.69

So, then are we ALL shameful for having sung the National Anthem 
along with you, Amie? At least you didn't spit and grab your cunt.

Laurie Ann Poole

Time: Sat, 21-Jul-2001 18:22:22 GMT     IP: 209.184.0.17

Laurie Ann,

There's a mistake on the web page. We are indeed performing 
tonight, not the 28th. Hope to see you there. 

As far as the Chronicle thing goes, that too was a mistake which 
we'll take care of next time.

Shannon

Time: Sat, 21-Jul-2001 19:54:14 GMT     IP: 24.28.69.181

I wasn't ashamed at all, Laurie.  Were you?

Time: Mon, 23-Jul-2001 15:54:34 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

Mi fayrite peesis et de Shamu Sho wuhs de use kar sailsmun wif 
de nise hat end de shaky hans, de Roy plesuring hissef, end de 
beanman. I awso fot de Jabba Ratgirl kikd de ass inn de twurling 
end spinning too de moosic.

De Ode too de Ladees end de udder song abowt de beers wuhs awso 
veri nise. I sori we nut git to si de moozishins frum Nu Jursy, 
butt mebbe nekst time.

Oooh, end de Bich in de Boks wuhs veri skeri end disterbing to 
mees, much like de Kittee-Kat Torchurur. I nivir wunt to sees 
dat agin, I kin tel yus. De luk own dat Kat's fase win hee 
torchur hem! O, dat's a meen man.

Awls uv de peesis wuhs innertaning too mee end sum uv dem wuhs 
challinjing toos mi mine.

I stil pwaying fore dat hert boy. By de krispi chikin, I hope 
hee git betur soon.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 24-Jul-2001 02:36:28 GMT     IP: 64.12.103.153

Nature Boy was cute as Cuddles, but it's probably a good idea to 
leave him home with the kitty-sitter, next time untill he gets a 
bit older. 

Time: Tue, 24-Jul-2001 17:18:48 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

I sori, I lef owt de ladee wif de pooetree. Dats wuhs nise, to. I 
like de pooetree weedings. Dey is relacksing too de Ratgirl. Dis 
won wuhs nise becuz de ladee hed a lut uv de staj presints end de 
pooem tol a storee to de Ratgirl. I like de storees. Dats nise.

I sori I lef yus owt ladee, espeshalli becuz yu is nu. I hope dat 
mor nu peepuls like yus wil kum too de Shamu Sho end doo yur 
peesis.

Yu luk a lut like mi fren Kafi Kappabara frum Sof Amirika. She 
reel nise end a reel gud singa. Hay, Jabba Ratgirl, dusint de nu 
ladee remine yu uv de famus Kafi Kappabara, de Ratgirl's mintor 
dat duhs de kabaray singing end de skarf dansing end is de leedah 
uv de wimins wodint movmint awl arown de wurl? Kafi is ar hewo.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Tue, 24-Jul-2001 17:26:18 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et Shamu Sho Janina,

Wif awl doo respeck, Janina, I fot dat the Nachur Boy shud hev 
his own peese. Jis leve dat meen Torchur Man et home, Nachur Boy. 
Nachur Boy tol mee fru de sikick conickshun dat he wunt too put 
own his own sho, nut bee de slave uv de Torchur Man. I fink 
Nachur Boy wunt too doo de tap dansing, butt mebbe he wuhs jis 
joking wif mi mine. He veri fwesh.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 02:50:05 GMT     IP: 64.12.106.53

Dear Ms. Ratgirl,
     Yes you're right. Nature Boy could be a star someday and he 
should get as much exposure as possible while he's young. I'm not 
usually the kind of person who tells people (Nature Boy's Daddy) 
how to raise their kids (kitties.)Thanks for the good feedback, I 
actually performed at the very 1st "No Shame Theatre " show in 
April, but I had not been back since. Your "light" piece was 
pretty cool and your monolouge was cute.(I read about you in the 
Chronicle!)See you next time.
Janina 

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 07:59:56 GMT     IP: 63.42.133.191

Hey,
  It's really late.  I have nothing to do so I felt like posting 
on the noshame board.  So, how is everybody liking the songs.  
Ratgirl is probably the only one who's seen all three:  "Ghetto 
Blues Man Seeks Life Partner"  "Prison Camp Party (PCP)" and the 
latest "Ode to the Ladies".  Which one is the best?  I have a 
very very different type of song planned for the next NO Shame. 
And I have about 3 more in the works.  Unfortunately I'll be 
back in dallas for my sophmore year at UTD, but I'll have a ton 
of material stored up for winter break and next summer.  Maybe 
even a really bad album by then.  
    Anyway, guess I'll plug the Well Hung Jury shows while I'm 
here.  Aug. 3rd and 4th.  Two highly sweet shows.  One is improv 
puppetry; the other is improv construction/music.  
www.wellhungjury.com for details.  Aaaaaalright.  Have fun y'all 
see ya at the next shamu shoo.
-Bill

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 14:22:40 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Janina,

I sori I tot yu wuhs nu. I didnit go too de furs Shamu Sho cuz I 
didnit no abowt tit.

Denk yus fur yur nise fings yus say abowt de Ratgirl. I gitting 
famus. I is jis a artist sam ass yu.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 14:36:20 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Biw,

I fin it hard too chus betwin de geto blus man end de prisin 
camparty. I like de geto blus man becuz it wuhs de furs won I 
hurd, end I hed a strong pusitiv reeackshun toos it. Butt, eff'n 
(ass de Jabba Ratgirl sez) I wuhs abjictiv, I wud hev to pik de 
prissin campartee. Itt wuhs own de udder side uv gud itt wuhs so 
gud. De Ode Ladees won wuhs too manestweem for mee end der wernt 
eny blak peepuls int.

De Jabba Ratgirl hes anudder opinyin sos I hope shee tel yus 
hursef own de kumpootur bored fing. (Hur stoogie kepe hur inn de 
boks a lut latlee.)

De Shanin awso hurd dem awl. Wut de Shanin fink?

I tri too go too de Jewelry Boys sho end I makes de Jabba gos wif 
mee sos I don git beet up. De Jabba is gud own de stweets. Shee 
sav mi tawul de udder day affur de Shamu Sho win a kowboy disidid 
too stan own itt in de 6 stweet. I fot shee wuhs gowing to kiks 
his ass. Butt hee bak doun. Jabba rocks!

Fenk yus four de sawungs. I mis yu win yu gos away. Mebbe yu sin 
us tapes uv yur sawungs wif sum adwisis for de Shamu Sho. Eff'n 
(ass de Jabba Ratgirl says) yus sin dem too Ratgirl ore de 
Hideowt, I wil plays yur musik four yus et de Shamu Sho end Jabba 
wil danse toos it, whering de pastees end de fur bikini pantees. 
I nut esk hur yit, butt I bet shee do itt. I wud doos it.

Enywy, mebbe yus hep mee wif mi rap abum.

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 14:42:00 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Wear is de Panjiah emale adriss? I doing de kabul acksass sho 
ind I nead de Panjiah too bee own de sho four de furs episoda.

Eff'n (ass de Jabba Ratgirl sez) yus no wut de emale uv de 
Panjiah is, pleez tel de Ratgirl ore de Jabba Ratgirl.

Awso, eff'n (ass de Jabba Ratgirl sez) inybuddi ews wunna bee 
own de Ratgirl sho, lets mee no, end I putts yus in dere.

Denk yus,

Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 14:42:58 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Wear is de Panjiah emale adriss? I doing de kabul acksass sho 
ind I nead de Panjiah too bee own de sho four de furs episoda.

Eff'n (ass de Jabba Ratgirl sez) yus no wut de emale uv de 
Panjiah is, pleez tel de Ratgirl ore de Jabba Ratgirl.

Awso, eff'n (ass de Jabba Ratgirl sez) inybuddi ews wunna bee 
own de Ratgirl sho, lets mee no, end I putts yus in dere.

Denk yus,

Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 16:22:09 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Dearest Ratgirl and Bill,

is awso likin de pwisin campawtee song de bestest, awtow i ony sawl 
too ov yo songs. is likin how yus mak mi rememew de games i yus too 
pway wen i wus de baybee rat. de shuts en de lattews wus mi favwit.

is goin to de Jewelry Boys sho to, sos i kin pretec de Ratgirl. jus 
kidink. is nut dat tuf, i jus luk mene.
Regards,
Jobber

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 20:36:47 GMT     IP: 207.8.81.128

Ratgirl!

Pangaea has resurfaced, and is ready for the television!

I had to borrow my good friend Mike D'Alonzo's email address, 
since someone else took Pangaea's name.  Do not worry.  They will 
be punished in due time!  All will be revealed!

Write to the Pangaea, fair ratty, and tell him what you desire.

p.

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 22:54:22 GMT     IP: 207.193.41.240

Hey everybody,

Sorry this is so late in coming. I thought these past No Shames 
were good, especially this latest one. I'll post a seperate 
order for July 21st. 

And hey, come see the Catch 24 sketch comedy show!

Anyway, here's the order.

0. Announcements and Order, by Shannon McCormick.

1. A Special Tribute, by Amie Elyn. Performed by Amie Elyn and 
audience. Amie leads the audience in a rousing post-Independence 
Day version of the National Anthem with the word 'cunt' 
replacing every syllable of the verses. Musical/performance 
piece.


2. Bubble Boy Reveals His Ass-ets, by Roy Dearen. Performed by 
Roy Dearen and Ratgirl. Bubble Boy reveals more about his life 
and condition, then sings and treads heavily on bubble rap, 
accompanied by Ratgirl. I have forgotten which song they sang. 
Performance/musical piece.

3. De Maiting Gaim, by Ratgirl. Performed by Ratgirl, the Vanity 
Fairy, and audience volunteers including Shannon McCormick, 
David Husky, and some other dude. 
Dating Game-like set-up, with Ratgirl as the bachelorette. David 
is given the 'crown'. Comic sketch/performance piece. 

4. Ratgirl Tanka, by Bob Apthorpe. Performed by Bob 
Apthorpe. Bob reads from a series of tanka (a Japanese poetic 
form) about events from the previous No Shame. Poetry.

5. The Broad Way-out Bawdy Way-off Broad On the Boards on Way- 
off Off Off Broadway in a Way-out Out-of-Body Broadside, Part 3, 
by Laurie Ann Poole. Performed by Laurie Ann Poole. Laurie Ann 
reads more from her life, before her involvement in the porn 
industry. 
Dramatic monologue.

6. Mr. Horn Pants Meets Christmas, the Artistic Hobgoblin, by 
Shannon McCormick. Performed by Shannon McCormick. Shannon 
receives a package from Mr. Big Shoe in New York. It's contains 
a puppet named Christmas, who dispenses advice to Mr. Horn Pants 
and the audience. Performance piece.

7. The Great Race, WP123L Approaches to Writing, by Mike 
D'Alonzo. Performed by Mike D'Alonzo. 
Mike reads from the first essay he ever wrote in college and 
provides retrospective commentary. Dramatic monologue/essay.

8. Brother, by Matt Vance. Performed by Matt Vance and Rich 
Ross. Juggling routing to music. 

9. Untitled Song, by Ponty Lox. Performed by Ponty Lox. 
Ponty sings a song about two little farts. Song.

10. Speaker Performance, by Josh Ronsen. Performed by Josh 
Ronsen with audience. Josh has speakers laced to his hands, 
which are connected to a walkman. He wanders into the audience 
and places the speakers on everyone's ears, individual by 
individual. Performance piece.

12. Hank, by ???. Performed by Rich Ross, Sean Hill, and Lacey 
Eckl. Rich and Lacey's characters try to convince Sean's 
character that he has to kiss some guy named Hank's ass for 
money and then leave town.Comdey sketch.

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 22:55:11 GMT     IP: 207.193.41.240

0. Announcements and Order, by Shannon McCormick.

1. Well Crow Ratgirl, by Ratgirl. Performed by Ratgirl and 
Jobber Ratgirl. Ratgirl describes the trials of being a Ratgirl. 
Jobber throws velcro covered balls at the velcro hoops draped 
over Ratgirl's shoulders. Monologue/performance piece.


2. My Life as a Used Car Saleman, by David Lopan. Performed by 
David Lopan [Jermy Lamb]. Celestial being Lopan tells of a year 
in the Sixties when he was down on his luck and was forced to 
sell used cars in Detroit. Improvised monologue.

3. Long Night With My Long Necks (Wal-Mart Lament), by DAvid 
Trachtenberg. Performed by David Trachtenberg. David sings about 
a man left by his wife at the Wal-Mart and what that man does to 
console himself. Song 

4. Monday Morning Fire, by Janina de Luna-Azul. Performed by 
Janina 
de Luna-Azul. Janina reads a non-typical slam poem with lots of 
butt-shaking. Performance poetry.

5. A Letter from a Customer, by some weirdo and Sean Hill. 
Performed by Sean Hill. Hideout proprietor Sean gives us an 
inside view of running a coffee shop/theater by reading a letter 
from some out of towner who wanted to come to the musical open 
mike and also the HIdeout's response. Letter.

6. Dick Thomas and Snuggles, by Dick Thomas. Performed by Dick 
Thomas and Snuggles. Dick Thomas does some ventriloquist stand-
up comedy, while 4 week old kitten "dummy" Snuggles gets 
perturbed and frightened. Stand-up/unintentional abuse.

7. Bubble Boy Pleasure Himself, by Roy Dearen. Performed by Roy 
Dearen. Bubble Boy explains how last week Ratgirl aroused him 
and why this week he'll be pleasuring himself onstage. He then 
proceeds to do a bunch of prop coemdy based on euphemisms for 
masturbation. Comedic monologue.

8. Bitch in a Box, by Travis Holmes. Performed by Travis Holmes. 
Travis, playing an asshole redneck, explains how his sobbing 
wife came to be imprisoned in a cardboard box. Dramatic 
monologue.

9. Ode to the Ladies, by Bill Stern. Performed by Bill Stern. A 
song dedicated to all the ladies. 

10. Ratgirl Reunion, by Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl. Performed by 
Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl. 
In darkness, RG and JRG do some fancy glow stick twirling to the 
Who's Baba O'REilly (Teenage Wasteland). Performance piece.

10. Big Black Hulaballoo Extravaganza, by Jeff  Amos. Performed 
by Michael 
Joplin and Jeff Amos (kinda). Michael announces that the piece 
that Jeff was going to do won't be performed because of a 
horrible accident Jeff suffers. We are asked to observe a moment 
of silence. After that I have no idea what was going on. 
Performance piece?

12. Snacks, by Michael Garcia. Performed by Michael Garcia. 
Michael pours out a spiral of dried pinto beans on the floor, 
and then costumed in a straw hat and skull mask, proceeds to 
dance on them and interact with them to the tunes of Herb 
Alpert. Performance piece.

Time: Wed, 25-Jul-2001 22:58:18 GMT     IP: 207.193.41.240

Hey,

We've just passed Cedar Falls and are now the second most 
visited No Shame page on the web. Look out Iowa City.

Given that Ratgirl and I account for probably 50% of the hits, I 
don't know what this means. But rock on, Austin No Shame, rock 
on.

Shando

Time: Thu, 26-Jul-2001 00:31:29 GMT     IP: 172.133.68.128

Now you know why I was not there. At least I found out in time 
not to show up for the 28th either. Oooops! Is it that difficult 
to adjust the webpage? If so, let me do it. I can spare five 
seconds.

Laurie Ann

Time: Thu, 26-Jul-2001 14:48:04 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et the Shamu Sho,

Wee is nut gowing too sittul four sekind bes.

I challinj yu peepuls too chik de Wibsite ass offin ass de 
Ratgirl. Dat's et lees wince evwi owah awl day long untill its 
times too go home frum de stoogie's wurking et de lieberry.

I no dat sum uv yus hes de betur fings too doo, butt, Jabba, tel 
dat stoogie dat yu kint stay in de boks awl day! Yus got too chik 
de Shamu Sho Wibsite sos de Austin Teksis kin bee de numbur won 
site dat gits de mos vus inn de wurl (yu no, owt uv de Shamu Sho 
sites, nut de hole Inturnit).

End de lurking peepuls, plees chik bak evwi owah awl day long to, 
becuz de Ratgirl is awways witing de nu meninliss fings up dere 
own de bored too kepe de stoogie aweke. End yus nevir no win de 
Ratgirl is going too disclothes sum nu secwet uv de yunivurs.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 26-Jul-2001 20:46:39 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

Bill,

I'm going to take a slightly different tack from Ratgirl and 
Jobber Ratgirl. I know I told you on Saturday that "Ode to the 
Ladies" was my favorite Bill Stern piece yet, but I didn't 
explain why.

Part of my enthusiasm on Saturday may have been cause by 
proximity to the performance_my favorite Bill Stern song is the 
one I most recently heard. On further reflection, "Prison Camp 
Party" might be a better song on paper. There's nothing 
in "Ladies" quite as satisfying as the list of various forms of 
tag on "Prison Camp." But I still might give a slight nod 
to "Ladies" for two reasons. First, I thought your stage 
presence was much more confident and comfortable while you were 
singing "Ladies." It might just be that I was sitting in a 
better spot and could hear the lyrics to "Ladies" better than I 
could hear "Prison Camp." Second, I could feel the persona 
singing "Ladies" much better. The person signing "Prison Camp" 
is a little vague to me. What kind of person is responsible for 
these lyrics? But with "Ladies" one totally understands the type 
of guy who writes an ode such as this. And Joplin leaned over to 
me as you were singing and said "Bill should have been born in 
the Thirties," which is totally true of that song. I mean, how 
many guys even call women ladies anymore? I could really feel 
the character, if you will, behind the song.

All of this is splitting hairs, though. I think both songs a 
freaking great. I'm looking forward to the next one. And to this 
proposed album. If No Shame can help make that album happen just 
let us know.

Shannon

Time: Thu, 26-Jul-2001 21:18:51 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

Well,

Since I know the dates of the shows, I almost never look at the 
calendar. I didn't find out about the mistake until last Friday 
or Saturday or whenever it was that you guys were talking about 
the erroneous July 28th date. I have no idea if the calendar is 
hard to update as it's done by a guy named Jeff Goode out in L.A. 
I send him the lowdown, or else he snags it from the Hideout web 
page. Somewhere along the line either I messed up or he did or 
the Hideout did.

For your own sakes, however, there's a very simple way to know 
when No Shame is happening. Ask yourself, is this weekend the 
first or third Saturday of the month? If yes, then No Shame is 
happening.

Best regards,

Shannon

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 16:18:04 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Amie hes shamd mee ento kunfesing mi adickshun too de cliking own 
de Shamu Sho wibsite. I kinnut stop. I clik own itt awl de time. 
Like evwi time de Stoogie nuds off ore gos too de bafrum.

I chik de site becuz I wunt too si eff'n (as de Jabba sez) 
inybuddis esking four mi. Ore saying sumding nise abowt mes.

I is abscessd abowt misef. I guts a scwapbuk wif mi pwes 
clippings in it, end hev a buk wear I rites awl de fings peepuls 
say abowt mee.

I awso guts a miwa dat I luks inn awl day lung. I is abscessd wif 
luking et mi prittee pikchur. I guts luts uv pickchurs uv misef 
awl ova de wallis sos I kin luk et misef kuntstintlee.

I luking four a sapport grup fore mi prollim, butt dere dusint 
seme to bee won four de Vane end Sef-Abscessd Peepuls ore rats, 
ore rat peepuls.

Mebbe wee kin stawt won. Wee caul it Aswholes Anunimus.

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 16:37:48 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho end Shanin end Biw,

I hev too disagwi abowt de sowund uv de vose uv Biw own de Ladees 
sowung end esplane wy. Ownlee own de Ladees sowung ded I notise 
dis sowund cumming frum yus.

Sumtimes - et de veri surtin momints win yu wuhs gitting de depe 
vibwashun in yur vose - yu sowund a littul like de Kurmit de Fwog.

Dere is nuffing wong wif sanning like Kurmit de Fwog, end dis 
mite bee yur stwatigee four gitting de ladees, butt I fot yu shud 
no. 

De Jabba furs poyntid dis owt too mees, ownlee she fot de sowund 
wuhs more like de Adim Sanlur. Pursinallee I fink yus sowund mor 
like de fwog den dat gy. Et iny wate, dey is bof wich end famus, 
tho de Fwog is ded.

De udder dey de braun stooge sed de Ratgirl sounid like de Kurmit 
de Fwog. Dat hert mi felings awfill. Butt den I weelize dat 
sumtimes I doo sowund a littul like de Kurmit de Fwog. End dats 
oky.

Oky, iff yus finks eye is a aswhole eftur weeding dis, jis 
wemimbur eye is nut yit a wekuvuwing aswhole butts sumdy I wil 
chanj end bekum les sef-sinnerd end meen.

Knowbuddee ivir cwitisize yu beefour becuz yu is weely gud end 
evwibuddee I fink agwee dat yur sowungs is sum uv de bes iff nut 
de vewi bes Shamu Sho stuf. Sos I nut saying dis too gits yu 
dowun, jis too giv yus de truf uv wut eye wuhs finking win eye 
wuhs heewing de sowung.

I skerd yu bee mad et mee end git depwesd, butt eye kint hep 
telin peepuls wut I fink end mebbe yus wunt too no. Enyway, dats 
jis mee finking. De udders prollee nut fink dat yus sowun like de 
Fwog ore sumding.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 16:50:06 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

De Lil Stooge wint too de Twoopakabwa las nite et de Welweeti 
Womb, end dere wuhs no peepuls frum de Jewelry Boys dere.

Eff'n (ass de Jabba sez) yu is in a kumidee twoop de Twoopakabwa 
is wear sum peepuls frum awl de twoop inn de towun git togedur 
end doo de impwov kumidee. Las nite dere wuhs jis de David 
Lampee end de Katfite gurls end sum uv de Fat Witys end dis man 
frum Hoostin naim Boo. O, end de Mat Sadder, hoo pee peed own 
hissef doowing de sho. O, end de Joee fwum de Fatbootee, dat 
awso duhs de Fat Witys, so dat nut cowunt.

Win I stawts too doo de opin mikes own Fursdys I nut wunts jis 
too si de Fat Witys ind de Katfite ladees doowing de 
Twoopakabwa. I wunts too si de Jewelry Boys end de Fatbootie end 
sum uv dem udder peepuls fwum de Hideowt. Dos Hewo peepuls. 
Deres ownlee de old Dawid Lampee. I scene hem so miny times. I 
wunt too si sum yung cooties owt dere. No mor Fat Wities.

Oky, dats mi wanting four de day.

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 16:54:22 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

De Lil Stooge wint too de Twoopakabwa las nite et de Welweeti 
Womb, end dere wuhs no peepuls frum de Jewelry Boys dere.

Eff'n (ass de Jabba sez) yu is in a kumidee twoop de Twoopakabwa 
is wear sum peepuls frum awl de twoop inn de towun git togedur 
end doo de impwov kumidee. Las nite dere wuhs jis de David 
Lampee end de Katfite gurls end sum uv de Fat Witys end dis man 
frum Hoostin naim Boo. O, end de Mat Sadder, hoo pee peed own 
hissef doowing de sho. O, end de Joee fwum de Fatbootee, dat 
awso duhs de Fat Witys, so dat nut cowunt.

Win I stawts too doo de opin mikes own Fursdys I nut wunts jis 
too si de Fat Witys ind de Katfite ladees doowing de 
Twoopakabwa. I wunts too si de Jewelry Boys end de Fatbootie end 
sum uv dem udder peepuls fwum de Hideowt. Dos Hewo peepuls. 
Deres ownlee de old Dawid Lampee. I scene hem so miny times. I 
wunt too si sum yung cooties owt dere. No mor Fat Wities.

Oky, dats mi wanting four de day.

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 19:26:44 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

Here's the first half of my review of the last show. I hope some 
of the rest of you weigh in and let us know what you thought. 
All in all I thought this was one of the most artistically 
satisfying shows we've had. Maybe not the same kind of packed 
house/electric anticipation that we had a few shows ago, but I 
felt everyone stretching out with this one.

1.  Well Crow Ratgirl, by Ratgirl. Performed by Ratgirl and 
Jobber Ratgirl. Ratgirl describes the trials of being a Ratgirl. 
Jobber throws velcro covered balls at the velcro hoops draped 
over Ratgirl's shoulders. Monologue/performance piece.

I thought this one was pretty good. Maybe not as wild and funny 
as "Slaves in My Bunker," but I liked the whole interactive 
nature of the thing, what with Jobber Ratgirl tossing those 
balls at her from the audience. It's cool how people root for 
you at No Shame, for instance how we all clapped when Jobber 
finally got one of the balls on the Velcro circle. It goes 
without saying that Ratgirl is one of the anchors of the whole 
little No Shame community we're building here and that she's 
always a pleasure to watch.


2. My Life as a Used Car Saleman, by David Lopan. Performed by 
David Lopan [Jermy Lamb]. Celestial being Lopan tells of a year 
in the Sixties when he was down on his luck and was forced to 
sell used cars in Detroit. Improvised monologue.

God damn this was a good monolgue. And entirely improvised as 
far as I can tell. Again, it goes without saying that Jeremy is 
fantastic improviser. And we were all hanging on every word of 
Lopan's story. Great stuff.

3. Long Night With My Long Necks (Wal-Mart Lament), by David 
Trachtenberg. Performed by David Trachtenberg. David sings about 
a man left by his wife at the Wal-Mart and what that man does to 
console himself. Song. 

I liked this, even though the Dave's string broke at the end, 
etc. It was perhaps a tad too long, but whatever. Dave expressed 
to me that perhaps the song wasn't as good a fit for the No 
Shame format as his previous song. My feeling for that is, ok 
sure some kinds of things are going to go over pretty well at No 
Shame (comedy seems to be popular, as does nudity, flashy prop 
work, etc.), but we shouldn't censor ourselves about what might 
or might not work at No Shame. The format's here for us to try 
stuff out that we wouldn't do elsewhere to see if it works. And 
I told Dave that I woke up Monday morning and was humming the 
melody, so it must have worked. I'd love to see a performer come 
out to No Shame twenty times and strive to be original and fail, 
because chances are pretty good that on that 21st time they're 
going to break through to something unique and authentically in 
their own voice.

All this is not to say that I thought Dave's song failed. I 
liked it. I was just using his comment to climb on my little No 
Shame soapbox.

4. Monday Morning Fire, by Janina de Luna-Azul. Performed by 
Janina 
de Luna-Azul. Janina reads a non-typical slam poem with lots of 
butt-shaking. Performance poetry.

I'm glad Janina has returned to No Shame. A lot of the people 
who participated in the first show have not come back. With 
regards to this particular piece, I must admit I kind of zoned 
out, which also explains the scantiness of my comments above. I 
don't think that this has anything to do with Janina's stage 
presence, which I quite like. I think sometimes, though, it's 
hard to stay focused throughout the course of a show and my mind 
was kinda wandering around. Anyone else's comments would be 
appreciated here. I'll be looking forward to more of her 
material. 

5. A Letter from a Customer, by some weirdo and Sean Hill. 
Performed by Sean Hill. Hideout proprietor Sean gives us an 
inside view of running a coffee shop/theater by reading a letter 
from some out of towner who wanted to come to the musical open 
mike and also the HIdeout's response. Letter.

This was a funny letter. We all owe a great big thanks to Sean 
for allowing me to give No Shame a try and for allowing us to 
use the Hideout space. It also helps that he really likes No 
Shame. As long as you all keep coming and buying coffee and beer 
before the show, I think we've got a home for a while.

6. Dick Thomas and Snuggles, by Dick Thomas. Performed by Dick 
Thomas and Snuggles. Dick Thomas does some ventriloquist stand-
up comedy, while 4 week old kitten "dummy" Snuggles gets 
perturbed and frightened. Stand-up/unintentional abuse.

Michael loves that cat, so cut him some slack. He didn't intend 
this piece to go as awkwardly as it did. And he's learned 
something, both as a performer and as a pet owner. One, a real 
live animal onstage is going to upstage you every time 
(especially a kitten or a puppy) and two, animals like to know 
there's ground beneath their paws. Without it, the panic.

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 19:48:35 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

7. Bubble Boy Pleasure Himself, by Roy Dearen. Performed by Roy 
Dearen. Bubble Boy explains how last week Ratgirl aroused him 
and why this week he'll be pleasuring himself onstage. He then 
proceeds to do a bunch of prop coemdy based on euphemisms for 
masturbation. Comedic monologue.

Another regular. Roy, get some new bubble rap, Bubble Boy's 
starting to get a little ratty looking. Anyway, I really liked 
how committed to this Roy was, even going so far as to have 
brought a whole plucked chicken in a duffle bag. And the car 
jack and the can of Off was truly priceless. Careful of the meat 
next time, though.

8. Bitch in a Box, by Travis Holmes. Performed by Travis Holmes. 
Travis, playing an asshole redneck, explains how his sobbing 
wife came to be imprisoned in a cardboard box. Dramatic 
monologue.

This is my favorite piece by Travis so far, even though his 
character was reprehensible and it was an uncomfortable piece to 
watch. I appreciated the amount of thought and preparation that 
obviously went into this piece (unless Travis just happens to 
have a tape of woman pleading to be released laying around his 
apartment, in which case I'm disturbed.) Good stuff, Travis.


9. Ode to the Ladies, by Bill Stern. Performed by Bill Stern. A 
song dedicated to all the ladies. 

I've already said a lot about the Billster on the web page. I 
concur with Ratgirl that knowing Bill will be at No Shame is 
always a delight. Can't wait for that album.

10. Ratgirl Reunion, by Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl. Performed by 
Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl. 
In darkness, RG and JRG do some fancy glow stick twirling to the 
Who's Baba O'Reilly (Teenage Wasteland). Performance piece.

Eventually, No Shame is going to go downstairs to the Hideout's 
mainstage, which will allow for more room for this kind of 
stuff. Some damn fine twirling. Mesmerizing. I'm glad that 
Jobber Ratgirl has also become part of the No Shame family.

10. Big Black Hulaballoo Extravaganza, by Jeff  Amos. Performed 
by Michael 
Joplin and Jeff Amos (kinda). Michael announces that the piece 
that Jeff was going to do won't be performed because of a 
horrible accident Jeff suffers. We are asked to observe a moment 
of silence. After that I have no idea what was going on. 
Performance piece?

I'm not sure what happened with this piece. Any thoughts?

12. Snacks, by Michael Garcia. Performed by Michael Garcia. 
Michael pours out a spiral of dried pinto beans on the floor, 
and then costumed in a straw hat and skull mask, proceeds to 
dance on them and interact with them to the tunes of Herb 
Alpert. Performance piece.

This was freaking awesome. Great idea, great execution. I hope 
Michael becomes a regular as well. This piece also reminded me 
of Hung's piece a few shows back, in that it was a tweaking of 
ethnic stereotypes. Hung was in "yellowface" and Michael was 
obviously riffing on certain visual tropes of Mexican culture_
the beans, the day of the dead skull mask, the farm worker's 
straw hat. Thought provoking, and frankly, really good theater.

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 19:50:47 GMT     IP: 63.42.133.105

Thanks everybody.
   Wow, well I had no idea I sounded like kermit, but once i'm 
into the song, that's my real singing voice.  So.... 
whattayagonnado?  Oh, well.  I think you guys are gonna like the 
next one.  It's... well... it's different.  I appreciate all the 
critiques.  Oh and Shanon, after joplin anounces jeff's accident 
jeff  puts his hand through lopan, realizes that he's dead, gets 
mad and sits back down.  It would have been more obvious if he 
would have taken more time to establish that he was a ghost.  
Anyway, see y'all at the catch show and then the jury shows, and 
then the next noshame.
-Bill

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 20:08:56 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

Even though I'm in the Heroes, this isn't anything that I know 
about. I've seen it in the Chronicle, this Troupe Acabra thingy. 
Is this an extension of those improv summits that would happen 
periodically?

I also have a few things I would like to clarify. What is Little 
Stooge's connection to the Velveeta Room. Is she one of the Ray 
Prewitt's people? What gives?

Also, let me check my Rat to English skills:

Fatbootie=Fatbuckle

Fat Witys/Wities=???? (fat white people? what troupe in town 
consists of these?)

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 21:32:49 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Shannon,

De Fat Witeys is de Ray Pewitt's peepuls. Yes, end de Stoogie is 
inn dat grupe. End so is de Big Stoogie end de Braun Stoogie. Dey 
is awl in dat grupe. Yu nut scene dem. Deys awl fat end mos is 
wite. Mos is de mins, to. De Fatbootie is de Fatbukul. I nut 
scene dem, butt won time sum uh dem play wif de Wities.

Sumtimes Ratgirl hes too wauk frum de Vellveetie Wume too de 
Shamu Sho, dats wy I tauks abowt itt a lut.

Dits funi yu nebur herd abowt de Twoopakabra becuz I fot dat itt 
wuhs form too bwing de mimburs uv de difwint twoops in towin 
togedur. Dats wy de lil stoogie wuhs shokt win shee wint end itt 
wuhs jis de saim ole Welwheati peepuls.

Dits funi, to, becuz I fink sum uv de Witey nut like de Ratgirl. 
Dese nut tauk too mee so much evin do eyes gitting famus. Eye 
fink dey fink de Lil Stoogie is cwazee. Dey nut fink Ratgirl is 
vewi funi. Dats wut I fink inyways. Spiccy de Klowin is nise. Hee 
is gowing too bee in de kabul aksass sho. Butt his stoogie, de 
braun stoogie, hee nut like de Ratgirl so much. Dats weerd, int 
it?

Inyway, dats de stuf. I jis meding awl dos peepuls. Sum uv dem is 
kin a snoody too de Ratgirl. Butt dem luts uv peepul ar. I yus 
too itt.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 21:42:05 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Biwa,

I didnit no Yef wuhs a gost. Doo dis agin. I mist it de furs time.

I sori Yef is ded. Hee wuhs nise.

Is de Lopan ded to?

Biwa, de stoogie says dat fwoggi sowun kums frum de klosing yur 
fwote up. Shee sez yu kin opin it if yu nut wunt too sowun 
fwoggi. Plus I fink dat herts yur fwote iff yu doos itt a lut. 
Den yu sown like an ole blak man awldetime.

I glad yu nut mad. I like yur singing end yur peeanoh playing.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 21:46:01 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et de Shamu Sho,

I sori. I no hee lubs de kittee. I scene hem feeding hem de 
milkee fwum de buttul eftur dat. Dat wuhs swete.

I fot de kittee wuhs funi win hee stawtid too skweem.

Dat Nachur Boy, hee's cwazee. I fink hee wunt too doo de tap 
dansing. End mebbe de kalindurs.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 21:50:11 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Dearest Ratgirl,
De braun stoogie luf yus! he is bewy supowtif ov de watties en he 
hep mi stoogie wid huh wattie stuf.
De udduh fatties i dons nose bout. des sems uhfwaid ov de shange, 
ov de tings dat ees a leetle to swange. de ees commodieens en 
actuhs, but deys comfomists. nut efryone kan be as inlitened as de 
watties, doh.
ees a comflicated eesue. is no shur dat deres eenyfing dat de 
watties can do.
Regards,
JR

Time: Fri, 27-Jul-2001 21:51:11 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Shannon,

De stoogie sez shee fot de Chewy hed bin enwiting yus.

Las nite de furs time inywon esk de stoogie too go.

She sez it wuhs fun end funiur den de witeys bi demsefs.

I prolly nut spos too say dat.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Sat, 28-Jul-2001 07:08:54 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.172

As the appointed emissary of the Well Hung Jury to the 
Troupeacabra (a pun that, to my delighted amusement, some people 
don't get at first), i must carry the burden of the blame 
squarely on my own shoulders. Jeremy appointed me to get some of 
the Jury members not involved in Catch 24 to go to this event, 
and the only response i got back was Aaron informing me he could 
not attend, but inviting me by next week to see his amazing new 
floors. So the task then fell to me to go and represent the Jury 
on my own, a sole improv warrior...

But here's the thing...

Contrary to popular belief, i'm really not the funny or talented. 
I just use the Jury as a crutch to delude myself into thinking i 
am. Really, the other guys are the talented ones. They just let 
me hang out with them because i used to buy them sodas back in 
high schools and they're too nice to kick me to the curb like 
they should. So instead, i hid myself away in my bedroom, too 
ashamed to show my face to the heavens, let alone a group that i 
am not worthy to call my "peers," and found new and increasingly 
difficult ways to make a puppet skeleton out of wire coat 
hangers. 

However, i believe that the utterly amazing Catch 24 show, Circus 
of the Mundane (which is anything but) and the upcoming Well Hung 
Jury Puppet Show (August 3rd, Hideout, 8:00pm, cheap plug) will 
in some small way redeem my cowardly absence.

Besides, my dearest Ratgirl, as Ben has pointed out to me...i 
really just would've been another fat whitey on the stage...i'm 
sorry, this is all very upsetting. i'm going to go listen to Tori 
Amos and weep.  Good night...

Time: Sun, 29-Jul-2001 13:23:25 GMT     IP: 172.144.131.247

Compatriots,

My apologies for the error on the noshame.org calendar.  I 
must have misread the Hideout calendar.

As Shannon may have mentioned, the noshame website is 
primarily an archival site maintained by your friendly 
neighborhood webmaster from a remote location in the 
bowels of California.

While parts of the website (such as this message board) 
are automated, MOST of the site is manually updated once 
or twice a month.  This means that errors which creep onto 
the site from time to time may not be repaired on the same 
day they are discovered.

Although the website will always be as accurate and 
up-to-date as I can make it, you should bear in mind that 
your webmaster receives all information second hand, so 
your MOST reliable source for dates and time will always be 
to contact your local No Shame directly.

If there is a problem with the website which should be 
addressed immediately, please feel free to email me at 
NoShTh@aol.com for a more rapid response.

Again, sorry for any confusion this may have caused.


...Jeff
http://www.jeffgoode.com

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 14:26:43 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Jabba,

De braun stoogie is vewi nise too mees butt I stil fink hee don 
apwoov uv de Rats inn comedi. Awl de fatties win too si de 
uncajd, butt dey neber say nuffin too mis ore too de stoogie 
abowt itt. Like dat wuhs gud, Ratgirl, ore, you suk, Ratgirl, ore 
wut a weerd sho, Rattie, you skere me.

Deys jis bene kumpleetly silin abowt it. It make my stoogie fink 
dey don like hur rattie fwens.

I glad de braun stoogie lub mi. I feel betur now.

Denk yu, Jobba,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 14:46:22 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist hidin in de Klawsit,

I no de feelings. Sumtimes iff yu where a kustoom, it hep yu feel 
speshul. I like to where mi Marfa Washintun kustoom win I feel 
dat way, din I feel speshul.

I nut funi needer. End de stoogie is weely nut funi. De braun 
stoogie is funi, butt he is awso nise. Essep sumtimes hee is 
moodi. Int dat wite, Jabba? She prolli say no. She so innipinint.

Dere is weely ownlee mos uv de Fat witeys dat is wite end ownlee 
mos uv de Fat witeys da is fat. Dere is like 60 pursin wite end 
60 pursin fat. De udders is braun end skinny end medioom siz end 
pink. Sum is evin gurls. Sum is gurls wif de big boobs, end sum 
is de fwatchesid gurls. So yus awl fits in.

I bodder yu nekst time eff'n (ass de Jobber sez) yu nut sins no 
won. Yu shud sins 2 ore 3 in case yu gits skerd. Din yus kin hep 
ech udder fite eff'n (ass de Jobber sez) won uv de big boobed 
ladees make fun uv yu.

I lub de Sirkiss. It wuhs so nise end funi. I fink de Jobber like 
it to, butt she so innipinint. Mebbe she fink yu stinks. See, 
now, iff she weeds dis, she wite bak.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 14:48:58 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et de Shamu Sho,

I lubs de Surkiss!! It wuhs so gud end fun end nise. I like itt.

Dats awl.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 14:52:40 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist et de Shamu Sho,

Wy is de Shanin hed so big own de skween? I skeerd seeing dat 
awl de time. Wy is so beeg now? It dat wibmassur pursin skwewin 
wif us. Makin de hed uv de Shanin so larj wee bee skerd end nut 
kepe kliking de Austin winnurs!

Don bee afwade uv de Shanin hed. Kepe kliking.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 19:14:31 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Deares Ratgirl,
i no nose wut innipinint menes, but de bruan stoogie ees moodi en i 
liks de sikus chow (ass de Spiccy sez.) De eyund mayde mi sad, doh. 
is sad dat de peples een de chow (ass de spiccy sez) not seme hapi 
at duh eyund. is sad wens udders ees sad. Udder-wise, i lubs de 
chow (ass de spiccy sez) wid duh blud en duh popkerns en duh 
penutbuttuhs.
Redards,
Jobber

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 20:31:01 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.190

Not sure why the image of the No Shame poster is so large. You 
can always write Jeff if it frightens you.

I just want to tell you, the face in the poster is NOT me. Brian 
Yanish and I got together way back when to talk about the poster 
and he showed me some images in his portfolio. The face was taken 
from a painting he had done well before he ever met me. I just 
happened to like it and asked if he could make a poster with it. 
I wasn't even aware that it bore a certain resemblance to me, 
especially when I'm not wearing glasses.

Shannon

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 21:38:47 GMT     IP: 24.28.69.181

That's funny, Shannon.  I thought it was you, too.  And it is 
scary.  And creepy.  And wierd.  And it looks like Shannon.

Maybe a new poster/mascot is in order.  Not anyone living or 
real or resembling anyone living or real.

What do you guys think about a Wombat?

Amie

Time: Tue, 31-Jul-2001 16:23:06 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artist Jobber end de udders,

Like de Innipinins Day de muvee.

Hay, I like de mene klawin dat luk like Shanin end awso de 
busstop kweep dat luk like de kittie torchurur. Hee wemind mee uv 
my bwudduh, Ratguy. Hee a littul bit uv a dwifftah.

I sori de stoogie cudnit kum in si de sho to, becuz she wudda 
like it to. Mebbe yu kin doos sum mor shos like dat cuz dat wuhs 
gud in funi in I bwing mor rats nekst time.

I eight summa dat popkorn butt it wuhs stale end gwos. Dat wuhs 
nasti. Wy yu fwo ole popkorn et de Ratgirls win yu no dat de 
Ratgirls is jis gonna eet it? Dat wuhs kina meen.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 01-Aug-2001 02:08:24 GMT     IP: 63.44.103.122

Dearest Ratgirl et al,
wi yus no like de Wumpat? i taut he wuz bewi goot in de 
dooks een hazerd chow (ass de Spicy sez.)
mi vot ees fo de shanon haid.
Redgards,
Jobber

Time: Wed, 01-Aug-2001 03:07:31 GMT     IP: 66.68.58.162

i think the head looks really cool. i really don't think it 
matters about it resembling shannon.