Time: Sun, 02-Sep-2001 21:04:48 GMT     IP: 209.151.103.40

when exactly is this "best of" suposed to take place?
-Bill

Time: Sun, 02-Sep-2001 21:51:00 GMT     IP: 209.151.103.57

I vote for, that bean guy, el pachuco by Jay, Life and oragami 
by ace and have ratgirl do the thing about what it is to be an 
artist. 
-Bill

Time: Tue, 04-Sep-2001 17:43:47 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

I sori I nut dere own Saturdy. I wuhs wehearsing wif de Relijus 
Ackting Troop dat I mets in Guatemalas. Wee gots so intos de 
wehearsing I didnit notiss de time end I mist de sho.

I bee dere nekst time I pwomis.

I heerd dat de braun stooj wuhs dere wif his fren Padrack. I 
hope dat dey didnit beets yu up ore steel yur close. Cuz dey is 
part uv de Fat Witys end dey is big.

I luv yus awl.

Denk yu four wotings four mees in de Bess Uv four de Mumfess. I 
heerd dat de Mumfess is wear a lut uv de big rats doo de arts. 
Iss it simulur too de Littul Peepuls uv Amerika anual meting? 
Ise going too dat nekst yeer, beecuz I likes de Littul Peepuls. 
Dey is awso nise too mees.

I luv yus.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 05-Sep-2001 02:30:29 GMT     IP: 209.184.1.115

Just a quick list of the last two No Shame orders, for which I 
have been inexcusably remiss in not posting until now.

Show for August 18, 2001:

1. Titled: -1, by Chili Chu Chu
2. Midnight Sonatas, by Janina de Luna-Azul
3. Tatoos and Jesus, by Megan Gogerty
4. My Trip to Guatemala, by Ratgirl
5. A Different Ratgirl, by Jobber Ratgirl
6. Rejected Letters to Miss Manners, by Bob Apthorpe and Peter 
Rogers
7. Instrumental, by Bill Stern
8. Dating Sucks, by Caroline Sutton


Show for September 1, 2001:

1. A History of No Shame, or The Importance of Comic Timing by 
Shannon McCormick
2. The Improv Scene, by Jeremy Lamb and Chelsea Gilman
3. Student Becomes the Master, by Ann MAbry and Andy Crouch
4. Untitled, by Taylor Maddux
5. Belfast, by DJ Kernel with a K
6. Size Matters, by Noah Henson
7. Chandy, by Chad Duffy and Andy Crouch
8. Evil Has Arrived, by Evil Ratgirl and Evil Jobber Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 05-Sep-2001 03:14:40 GMT     IP: 64.154.144.140

Sorry I missed the show. I had moved that day and was totally 
needing to veg out. 

I can stop sniveling now. The gallery now displays my poster 
design, so I urge you to take a look if you haven't seen it yet.

In the absence of any directive from Shannon, I'm going to write 
yet another episode in the continuing saga of Laurie Ann for 
presentation at the next No Shame Theatre. See you there.

PS If anyone has a job lead for an Admin Asst with heavy PC work, 
please let me know. Starving artists gotta eat -&- you KNOW I NEED 
to ***EAT***!

Time: Wed, 05-Sep-2001 15:36:34 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Dearest artists,
i, on de udduh han, haf no awallojees abowut nut komink too de 
chow un Satuhdey. i heuhd fru de wattie gwapevine dat dew wewuh 
sum eviw watties un de woose, an dat dey wud bee wookink fouh mees 
and de udduh Ratgirl to huht us. sos i hid in de cwosit awuh nite 
in tewuh.
Regards,
Jobber

Time: Wed, 05-Sep-2001 16:04:56 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

I'm confused. If neither Ratgirl nor Jobber Ratgirl were at No 
Shame the other night, who was it exactly that Evil Ratgirl and 
Evil Jobber Ratgirl were chasing around the stage? Are there not 
two but rather three pairs of Ratgirls out there? And who might 
this third pair of intermediary Ratgirls be? Chaotic Neutral 
Ratgirl and Chaotic Neutral Jobber Ratgirl?

Your baffled host,

Shannon

Time: Wed, 05-Sep-2001 16:14:55 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Dearest Shannon,
dey mus haf ben eempusonatink us! dey ees eviw!!!! fru an fru! deed 
dey mak us wook wike foowuls? deed dey mak sum vayn uttemp too 
eempusunat owuh awuht an owuh awtistik abiwities? shamu-fuwuh!! i 
ees apawud! dew eviw-ness nos no bowunds!
Enraged,
Jobber Ratgirl

Time: Wed, 05-Sep-2001 16:35:29 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

I iz howifide! Wut ded dose ewil ratties doo? Dey iz sluhwing de 
gud naim uv Ratgirls. De howah. De HOWAH!

Ehweebuddy nose ewil ratgirls is know gud. Dey is owt too gits 
uss.

Luk owt Jabba. Dey is stelfi. I sowi yu hed too hides inn de 
klawsit. Yu shudda kum ovah end herd de Wagina singin. Shee sings 
so purdy.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 06-Sep-2001 05:36:07 GMT     IP: 64.218.161.136

TO ALL RATGIRL AND JOBBER RATGIRL IMPERSONATORS,

AS EDITOR AND CO-PUBLISHER OF RATICAL! THE OFFICIAL RATGIRL
FANZINE, AND CO-OWNER/DESIGNER OF THE FEAR ART BRAND OF FINE
PRODUCTS, I HEARBY ISSUE THE FOLLOWING WARNING:

ALL IMPOSTERS WILL BE SYSTEMATICALLY HUNTED DOWN AND DESTROYED! 
I WILL USE MY SCATHING WIT AND IMPECCABLE SENSE OF STYLE TO CRUSH
YOU PATHETIC WANNA-BE'S.

THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE RATGIRL.  THERE IS ONLY ONE EACH OF
RATGIRL'S TRUE FRIENDS.  ALL PRETENDERS ARE AS SO MUCH SHIT ON
THE BOTTOM OF MY MANOLO BLAHNIK MULES.

BEWARE, BEWARE!

MOST SINCERELY,

VANITY FAIRY

Time: Thu, 06-Sep-2001 16:50:36 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

I'm a little disappointed that the editors over at the Statesman 
decided to sanitize Ratgirl's spelling. Unless of course Evil 
Ratgirl submitted that article. Curiouser and  curiouser.

Time: Thu, 06-Sep-2001 17:44:33 GMT     IP: 165.97.46.30

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

Mee end de Jobber is gowing too de Welweetie Womb tonites four 
de Hapi Owurs befour de 8 firti eff'n yus wunts too jown us four 
sum cooktales ore sum willy bad coughees. Dey awso hev de 
krabberri jus namd eftur mi fwen Berri I fink becuz sumtimes hee 
is krabby.

Deys hes de Obin Mite nite tonite end wee is gowing too trize 
owt sum uv wut wee hes bin lurning frum waching tv, spishillee 
de bwavo chanil wear dere is luts uv weel ackturs acking a luts. 
Wees is bin lurning frum dem end de Tellitumies awso. I willy 
adwire de acking stiwul uv de Po. I fink he is purhaps de 
findist acktur own de tb rite now.

Ennyways, eff'n (ass de Ratgirl sez) yus wunts too kum wif us 
end doos de Obin Mite toos, wee wil wach yu iff'n (ass de 
Ratgirl sez) yu wil wach us.

I lub yu.

Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl

BS Mi pickchur is in de papur dis weke. Doos yu fink I luks 
pweti. I doos. I fink I luks so pwetti, itt makes mee wunts too 
kwize.

Rtgrl

Time: Thu, 06-Sep-2001 17:48:26 GMT     IP: 165.97.46.30

Dear Fellow Artist,Pullishur, end Fashun Mawin Wanitee,

De Ewil Watgirls is twiing too kils uss!

Dey hev bin esking abowt us awl obir de towun. Dey is spos too 
bee Weel UGLEE. Dats wut de peepuls sey. I heerd dat de littul 
won is WEELEE UGGLEE.

I skerd.

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 07-Sep-2001 14:51:22 GMT     IP: 165.97.46.30

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho end lurgurs,

Iz wee doowing Shamu Sho dis wekend? Stoojie sez de Hidoubt 
fliah sez wee iz. I jis esking.

Peas,

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 07-Sep-2001 16:08:51 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

While I love the Hideout, the information they put on their 
flyers is not always the most accurate. We will not have a No 
Shame this weekend, nor the following weekend. This has to do 
with all of the festivals and what not going on.

The next open forum No Shame will not be until October. But in 
the meantime, there will be a Best of No Shame shows on September 
26th and September 29th. More info will be coming shortly.

Your host,

Shannon

Time: Mon, 10-Sep-2001 19:13:22 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists et de Shamu Sho,

De Stooji taukt too de Lizard Bref lass nite, end sheese gots a 
nu peace four de sho dats wil sker yus.

I nut wunt too seeze it, becuz it wil skers mee.

Yu shud awl esk hurs abowts itt. It kuld "Ehwah."

Dunt tel hur I sin yu.

Iff'n (ass de udder Ratgirl sez) yu dunts nose de Lizard Bref 
Doss, jis furgits itt. I nut no hur adriss.

I lub yus,

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Thu, 13-Sep-2001 18:51:58 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

Hey everyone.

Sorry I've been incommunicado for a while. I've been unpacking 
and haven't had access to the net as much as I would like.

At any rate, here's the word on the Best of No Shame, which 
we're doing at MoMFest.

Dates are Wednesday, September 26 at 9 pm
and
Saturday, September 29 at 11 pm

At the Hideout for both shows.

Tell your friends. This is going to be a really good show. 
Here's the lineup in no particular order:

Dating Sucks by Caroline Sutton
Gook as Sugar Toes the Chinaman by Hung Nguyen
Prison Camp Party by Bill Stern
Special Announcement by Taylor Maddux
The Beat by Korey Simeone
Ratgirl Exposâ by Well Hung Jury
A Special Tribute by Amie Elyn
What Being an Artist Means to Me by Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl
The Broad Way-out Bawdy Way-off Broad On the Boards on Way-off 
Off Off Broadway in a Way-out Out-of-Body Broadside, Part 3 by 
Laurie Ann Poole
My Blues Had a Baby and They Called it Bi-Polar Disorder by David
Trachtenberg
Bitch in a Box by Travis Holmes
The Great Race, WP123L Approaches to Writing by Mike D'Alonzo
Portrait of Myself as Me by Yasmin Kittles
Belfast by DJ Kernel with a K (aka Michael Joplin)
Snacks by Michael Garcia

Time: Thu, 13-Sep-2001 18:55:46 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

I would like introduce everyone to those people who helped me 
come up with the lineup for Best of..., the No Shame 'board' as 
it were.

Me
Allison DeFrees
Jeremy Lamb
Kacey Samiee
Lacey Eckl

Together we've seen all the No Shames and I think we have come 
up with a pretty solid show. What do you guys think?

Time: Thu, 13-Sep-2001 18:57:25 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

Although the Chronicle has us listed, there will be no No Shame 
show this weekend. Thank you and sorry I dodn't make that clear 
earlier.

Shannon

Time: Thu, 13-Sep-2001 18:59:18 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.18

Is anyone in contact with Michael Garcia? He's the guy who 
did "Snacks," aka the bean walking piece. He's the only Best of 
No Shamer I haven't heard from. Any help?

Time: Thu, 13-Sep-2001 22:05:47 GMT     IP: 165.97.46.30

Dear Fellow Artist Shannun end de udders,

I likes dis, butt I kinnut bee deres four de Winsdy sho becuz 
Stoogie hes wehursil. I nut no wut too doos, essep mebbe de 
Ratgirl kin doo a solo.

I lubs yu awl.

Your Fellow Artist,

Ratgirl

Time: Fri, 14-Sep-2001 03:10:03 GMT     IP: 209.184.1.65

This post was in error. There will be a show this weekend. 

Time: Thu, 20-Sep-2001 22:10:16 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Hey, No Shamers.
Tomorrow night the VORTEX is having a fundraiser, benefitting our 
electric bill. It's called Keg and Karaoke, and it's exactly what 
it sounds like. It's $5 and we provide the keg, the karaoke, rice, 
beans and other fun things. Please come out and have some fun. I 
hope to see you all there.
Courtney

Time: Thu, 20-Sep-2001 22:12:37 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

The fundraiser is at the VORTEX which is at 2307 Manor Rd. It's 
tomorrow, Friday, September 21 and starts at 10:30 pm and goes til 
2 am. Again, hope to see you there!
Courtney

Time: Thu, 27-Sep-2001 19:27:12 GMT     IP: 66.68.125.249

Dearest firends at de Shamu Sho,
i no ees late notise but de Ratgirls wiw be pefomink at de Hidowut 
at 8 pm tonite fowuh de Unkle Kuduls en Spiki chow. cum se us!
Regards,
JR

Time: Fri, 28-Sep-2001 19:54:52 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Fellow Artists,
Fenk awl uv yus fur kuming end siing us lass nite et de Unkul 
Cuduls sho. Yu is awl so nise too us.
Iff'n (ass de Ratgirl sez) yu is nut scene de Unkul Cuduls end 
Spikki Sho, yu kin kum seize itt own Saturdy et 9 okluk et de 
Hidoubt. Wee wil (de Ratgirls) wil bee dere doowing hour twiks. I 
lub yus,
Your Fellow Artist,
Ratgirl