Time: Thu, 14-Feb-2002 20:36:40 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

OK gang,

I've been getting slammed at work, so I'm sorry I haven't found 
the time to type of the order for the last show. It's coming, I 
promise.

Just wanted to let you know that yes, No Shame is now Fridays at 
11 (just like everywhere else in the country, yeehah). This 
Friday will mark the official beginning of Ace Manning's tenure 
as No Shame House Manager. 

And for your benefit (and Jeff Goode's), here's the calendar 
through August.


March 22
April 19 (our one-year anniversary)
May 17
June 14 (I need to check on this date, but I'm pretty sure it's 
correct)
July 19
August 16

Talk to you soon!

Shannon

Time: Fri, 15-Feb-2002 22:55:40 GMT     IP: 66.25.163.136

Here's a shout out to all the true playas in the No Shame 
house.  Get ready for some ass-kickin' and name-takin' smack-yo-
mamma beats from the Rattie Nashun.  Peace out, ya'll.

Vanity Fairy

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 08:50:43 GMT     IP: 66.25.129.75

This was my first NO Shame (well, not really.  my first was the 
last five minutes of the last no shame, but i dont think that 
counts).

i also like to eat pussy.

word

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 18:28:04 GMT     IP: 128.83.57.56

Order for 2/15/02

0.	Announcements include Jeremy Lamb's and Jeff Amos's One-
Men shows at the Hideout Cabaret Space, Flicker Austin's one 
year anniversary party at the Alamo Draft House and Buzz Moran's 
Kung Fu Theatre project at the Alamo, Well Hung Jury's upcoming 
free UT show and the imminent return of Catch 24 in April.

1.      "Your Soul for Only 8.99 per Minute," by John Powell-J 
Powell. [J performs advertisement/monologue about phone sex with 
a Wookie; comedy performance]

2.	"Immutable Truth," by Mike D'Alonzo-M D'Alonzo. [M tells 
us about the two truths in his life, both of which involve 
cunnilingus; comedic monologue]

3.	"My Art," by Rattie Nation-Rattie Nation (Vanity Fairy?
(Amie Elyn) and Ratgirl). [Rattie Nation raps about the 
difference between their art and yours; musical performance]

4.	"A Work in Progress," by Elizabeth Doss-E Doss. [E 
displays a special talent; special talent performance]

5.	"My Mother," by Maggie Bell-M Bell. [M reads poem about 
her mother, who has recently donated a kidney; poetry]

6.	"Stike!" by Heather Barfield-H Barfield. [H creates pins 
out of cucumbers, a bowling ball out of a cantaloupe and bowls a 
strike; performance art]

7.	"Orgiastic Bombardment of Cells, a.k.a. an excerpt from 
my one-man show 'The History of Things'," by Jeff Amos-J Amos [J 
performs song from his one-man show; musical performance]

8.	"Public Confession," by Shelly Miller-S Miller. [S 
relates how she never sent sympathy banner to Texas A-&-M after 
their bonfire tragedy, solicits advice about what she should do 
with it; public confession]

9.	"Marty Pants," by Marty Pants-M Pants with assistance 
from audience volunteers Y Kittles, E Doss and J Powell. [M 
performs magic with special coloring book, then levitates with 
help of audience volunteers; comedic magic performance]

10.	"The Dream Life of Frostie Cribbs," by Shannon McCormick 
(based on material supplied by Amy McCurdy)-A McCurdy. [A 
performs monologue based on dreams; monologue]

11.	"Sigilance, Part 1, I Want to Be a Superhero," by Jordan 
T. Maxwell-J Maxwell. [J explains sigils and gets audience to 
help him create one for next month's show; performance art]

12.	"Biography and Time Travel-Excerpts from my New Play," 
by Megan Gogerty-M Gogerty. [M performs bit from her upcoming 
play, time travel is invoked and explained; play excerpt]

13.	"La Vida Loca," by David Huskey-D Huskey. [D is forced 
into uncontrollable spasms by Ricky Martin's La Vida Loca; 
comedy performance]

14.	"The Liz Phair Scene," by Travis Holmes-T Holmes and two 
people I don't know. [T and woman are record store employees 
sizing up a customer's purchase of all of Liz Phair's albums at 
one time; drama/comedy sketch]

15.	"Led Zepplin IV," by Catch 24-Y Kittles and M Joplin. [A 
couple moving in with each other go through a minor spat when Y 
doesn't recognize Led Zepplin IV, Jimmy Carter, or vegetables; 
comedy sketch]

16.	"Return of Evil," by Randy Minnow (not really)-S 
McCormick, Evil Jobber Ratgirl, Evil Ratgirl, and Special Guest 
(Ellen Kolsto). [S gets up to do lame monologues, is interrupted 
by the Evil Ratgirls, who do awful improve comedy, who are 
interrupted by Special Guest who forms new No Shame Freedom 
coalition or some such; comedy performance(s)]

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 18:56:12 GMT     IP: 128.83.57.56

I have really ambivalent feelings about last nights show. I think 
it's great that word is getting out and people who haven't been 
to No Shame are coming in. From a certain point of view last 
night's show was pretty successful-we had tons of people see it, 
including a lot of new people who I think will tell their friends 
and perform themselves, etc.

But I was in a bad mood because of our inability to get into the 
space until 11 and I think I projected a weird vibe onto the 
audience and kind of turned it into this weird Frankenstein's 
monster. Maybe I'm overestimating my power over the crowd, but I 
had a feeling that had I shouted from the audience to kill some 
of the performers, we would have done it. OK, that's an 
exaggeration, but you know what I'm saying?

So artistically, I'm not sure how good a show it was. I mean, 
some of the pieces were great and are on my mental B.O.N.S. list-
the pieces that stood out for me last night included My Art by 
Rattie Nation, Strike! (so simple, so great!) , Public 
Confession, Marty Pants, Biography and Time Travel (I'm so glad 
Megan is living here now-that play is going to be great) and I 
think Led Zepplin IV is going to be a good sketch when Yasmin and 
Michael get off book.

But there was another part of the show that I just thought was 
lame and crappy. Last night definitely contained the most gross 
out humor and vulgarity we've ever had. I'm fine with the nasty, 
but I definitely don't hope it becomes a trend. No Shame is 
designed to be an alternative, and by that it I mean an 
alternative to pretty-pretty genteel mainstream theatre but also 
an alternative to thoughtless, mean-spirited, Farelly brothers-
style crap.

Maybe I'm totally off mark here. Please disagree with me, people. 
No Shame is as much your theatre as it is mine.

Until next time,

Shannon

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 19:09:35 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.186

Damn, it feels good to be back in No Shame! I want to thank all 
the people who gave me positive feedback after the show...damn, 
i forgot how much i've missed all that subversive wackiness 
(espeshully, er, especially the Ratties). Is anyone else like me 
in that they now want a t-shirt proclaiming that they love to 
eat pussy and are GOOD at it?

I've noticed something at the last couple of No Shames, and am 
tempted to draw up complex theories about it...there seem to be 
common elements and/or themes in each individual No Shame 
performance. For instance, last night there seemed to be a 
proliferation of scenes featuring ritual, confession, easels, 
cucumbers, music and random bodily functions. This is not the 
first time i have noticed this, and i doubt it will be the last. 
So what do you think? Are we forming some psychic bond with one 
another? Is this a manifestation of Jung's collective 
unconscious or the Aboriginal Dreamtime? Is life and/or art 
dictated by laws of convergence and synchronicity? Or is it all 
a huge fucking coincidence with no real relevance? I'm 
intrigued...

By the way...since when does No Shame have fucking hecklers? And 
when can we arm ourselves against them?  :)

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 19:33:19 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.186

Yeah, there were definitely some dark vibes abounding last night, 
but i don't necessarily think it was a bad show...there were 
certainly some pieces i didn't like (either for the gross out 
factor or because i just didn't like it), but those i did enjoy 
were so magnificent, true and engaging that they far outshone 
the "chaff".  Sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck...

Highlights of the evening for me have to be Mike, Maggie, Jeff 
and Megan...Mike and Megan just for sheer brilliance and comedic 
value (and because i love time travel as much as i love eating 
pussy...though i'm not quite as good at the former). Also, Mike 
D'Alonzo (and i use his full name here because i am about to 
unabashedly praise him not as his friend but as a fellow artist) 
is one of those rare wits whose improvised material is better 
than what most folks could spend time scripting and meticulously 
crafting. He's smart and his comedy is smart. And i respect that.

Maggie's piece was just honest and powerful. I would LOVE to see 
more of that at No Shame. I almost bypassed my pop magic ritual 
to read a couple of poems about my recent breakup, but decided 
that would just be too self indulgent. Maggie's piece was the 
farthest thing from that. It merely presented these events in her 
life (though it did so with wonderful and simple poetry) with no 
pleas for sympathy or anything like that. It was truth. It was 
uplifiting and inspiring not for some overblown sense of 
melodrama or "woe is me" solipsism, but for its portrayal of 
simple human beauty, in love, in sacrifice, in unforseen tragedy, 
and in celebration of life and family. And it was brave of her to 
share it with us.  Plus, it gave us a nice break from the fart 
jokes.

Okay, i'm just Jeff Amos' biggest fan. His words and his music 
never cease to amaze me. I've praised him before, and will do so 
again so i see no reason to laud the bastard here. He kicks ass. 
Nuff said. Go see his show.

The half and half award goes to Rattie Nashun...i dug the 
choreography and the obvious work that went into it, but between 
the fart/ass jokes and the unabashed yet bashing chorus (which i 
took to be sarcastic, but what the hell...i'll bitch anyway), the 
lyrics didn't appeal to me at all. To quote the horse from Ren 
and Stimpy, "Hmmm...no sir, i don't like it." I almost lost a 
little faith in Ratgirl, until the sweetness of Evil Ratties. 
Gotta love those villains, baby, yeah.  :)

Mazel Tav...

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 21:23:21 GMT     IP: 216.40.194.121

I was with y'all in spirit. Sounds like I missed some neat stuff.
Hopefully I'll be there next month.

~Mabry

Time: Sat, 16-Feb-2002 22:31:01 GMT     IP: 128.83.112.202

So, wow.  No Shame, huh?  Give it up...

Yeah, I'm with Shannon about the ambivalent feelings.  But 
first, let me say that I woke up singing "My Art's Better Than 
Your Art..My Art's Better Than Yours (Uh, Huh!)"  So that's 
gotta be a good thing.  And also, although I'm not normally a 
fan of the crotch n' butt comedy genre, I thought the 
lyric, "Your art is a smelly butt; my art is a Pizza Hut" to be 
inspired.  

I also enjoyed the canteloupe bowling piece - not only was it 
conceptually cool and defied our expectations, it was just the 
right length!  

I have to say, I was a bit nervous performing "Time Travel" 
after the evening began; not being a regular at Austin's No 
Shame, I wasn't sure if the gross-out humor was typical or 
not...and if it was typical, how an audience expecting (and I 
presume enjoying) that kind of humor would respond to my 
Reconstruction-era Pictionary-playing Phrenologist character.  

The record store sketch surprised me.  It had little gems in it 
that were wonderful (like the Pink Floyd line).  I suspect it 
ran a bit long, and could probably benefit from some cutting.  
Of course, my answer to every theatre question is cut, cut, 
cut.  But a strong, clever piece, despite my length prejudices.

I also really enjoyed the Dreams monologue.  Twisted, like an 
ice cream cone.  Delicious.  And it prompted an in-the-car 
discussion about women in hip hop culture.  Which is always 
welcome.

I'm a little hesitant to post this next paragraph, because it's 
a bit critical and I don't know the performer involved.  
Critiquing a stranger always feels weird to me.  But we all have 
hearty stomachs, right?  We can agree to disagree sometimes, 
right?  The whole reason we're participating in No Shame Theatre 
is to experiment and solicit feedback, right?  Right?  I may be 
setting off a bomb here, but I'm in a "dare to fail" mood...

The other piece that prompted an in-the-car discussion was the 
Wookie sex piece.  Simply because I used to think that hetero 
man's biggest fear was being laughed at by a woman when he 
wasn't trying to be funny, but now I think hetero man's biggest 
fear is being fucked up the ass.  This whole preoccupation with 
anal penetration being a frightening (and feminizing?) 
humiliation.  It's really a form of homophobia, I think...not a 
fear of homosexuals, but a fear of the homosexual act.  I 
realize I'm guilty of stereotyping here; not all straight guys 
are afraid of butt-fucking.  ("Two immutable truths: I like to 
get butt-fucked...and I'm good at it!")  And maybe the 
writer/performer of this piece was trying for a certain style of 
humor, which I'll be the first to admit that I don't get (see 
above re: crotch n' butt comedy).   But I thought I'd bring up 
the issue, if anybody wants to share their opinions.  Because I 
figure if there's any forum for discussing the political and 
cultural ramifications of our work, it's here. 

Okay.  That's my little schpiel, for what it's worth.  I'm sure 
there are other pieces that I'm blanking on right now, but that 
has more to do with my current ice cream headache than the 
quality of the night.  

Go, team!  Let's hear it for alternative theatre!

- Megan G.

P.S. - Shannon, I don't think you should hold yourself 
responsible for the tone of the evening.  What you do and say 
before the night begins does set the tone for the show, and 
maybe you gave some drunk people permission to be rude, but you 
did a good job of nipping that in the bud pretty quick.  And all 
the performers had written their pieces long before you got 
cranky.  

Time: Mon, 18-Feb-2002 04:35:17 GMT     IP: 172.160.53.246

It certainly was fun for ol' Marty Pants to entertain you 
youngsters.   Too bad grandpappy had to go back to Delray 
Beach, Florida, but you can't get enough of those Early Bird 
specials.

Time: Tue, 19-Feb-2002 05:56:11 GMT     IP: 12.237.138.237

Well Jordan,
   I suggest you do arm yourself.......  WITH YOUR RAZOR 
SHARP..... WIT!  eh? EH??  Seriously... heckle their heckling.  
Talk about their mommas and so on... or just ignore it.  
Whatever.
-bill

Time: Tue, 19-Feb-2002 22:05:24 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

Because, even though he wasn't at No Shame last Friday, even 
though he lives in Dallas and I don't know when he'll be at the 
next No Shame, he still had an opinion about the show and the 
way No Shame should work. Better yet, he made that opinion 
public for all of us to think about. He's not hoarding the 
magical gems of his wisdom. He's passing them out the way 
magical gems out to be passed out-indiscriminately and to those 
with the most need.

So what's the matter with you people? You afraid that if you 
post something negative about the show that the rest of us will 
hate you and refuse to aid you in your irresistible rise to 
fame? Well, if it's irresistible, why do you need our help 
anyway?

And if you want to disagree with me, PLEASE DO! I'm an uptight, 
thirty-year old white guy. What the hell do I know about 
alternative theater?

Oh yeah, Megan and Jordan and others also rock. Bill was just 
the starkest counter-example to the collective silence and lack 
of reflection after the past couple of shows.

Shannon

And if you don't want to post, don't post. But it is a free way 
for you to have perhaps an intelligent conversation with like-
minded people-me for instance-without them spraying you 
inadvertently with saliva.

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 01:52:15 GMT     IP: 64.12.101.167

In Bill's defense, this does not even begin to scratch the 
surface of why he rocks.  :)  Whose turn is it baby?

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 07:45:42 GMT     IP: 66.25.163.136

Forgive me for not posting sooner.  I was in the 7th layer of 
Hell (a.k.a. Houston) for a few days without internet access.  
But I'm back now, so here goes:

In my opinion, the show started strong and slid into boredom 
about an hour into it.  It was just too damn long, and that was 
mostly because some people (and we all know the guilty parties) 
didn't stick to the 5-minute or less rule.  Hey, people, we live 
in a modern age when timing devices of various types are readily 
available, so do all of us a favor and TIME YOUR FUCKING PIECE 
GODDAMNIT!  If I weren't leaving the country, I'd bring a bunch 
of cream pies and whoever went over the time limit would get it 
for sure.  How's that for heckling?  Is it possible for someone 
to yell "time" or something when the 5 minutes is up so we can 
move on the next time somebody decides that they are above the 
rule?

Also, how about some rehersal while you're timing that piece?  
Rehersal is good.  It makes your piece better.  Now, I'm just as 
guilty of presenting hastily rehersed work as the next guy, but 
I also know that more often than not I work on my pieces more 
than once prior to presenting them at No Shame.  We would all 
benefit if everyone adopted the same habit.

I'm exhausted so I'll leave my comments at that for the moment.  
I really did enjoy some of the pieces, so all in all, it wasn't 
wasted time.

Amie

Wait, Vanity wants to say something to the Reverend:

Yo, bitch, why you talking shit about the Rattie Nashun?  You 
think your art is better?  You livin' on Fantasy Island or 
somethin'? What crack are you smokin'?  The Ratty Nation writes 
future Grammy-winning rhymes, so get your WASP ass outta 
the 'burbs more often and see how we kick it in the real world.  
Just so you can get a head start, here's the complete lyrics 
to "My Art", written by Ratgirl and yours truely, which you 
didn't hear at No Shame because I became too friendly with my 40 
ounce before the show:

Chorus:
My art's better than your art
My art's better than yours.  Mmn-hmn
My art's better than your art
My art's better than yours.  Uh-huh

You got the arts that suck the big one
I got the arts that kick some ass
I got the arts that make you horny
You got the arts that gives me gas

You think your art is good and funny
I think your art stinks like a bunny
You think your art is cool and runny
I think your art has too much money

Your art is like a smelly fart
My art is like a fancy tart
Your art is like a giant butt
My art is like a Pizza Hut

All you posers out there who turn up your nose
At the sight of a Ratgirl comin' up to your shows
Why should you care if this girl's got a tail?
You should just be fuckin' happy that you're makin' a sale
'Cause your art really sucks yes you know that it's true
So get your head out your ass and give this ratty her due
Iffin' you don't understand her that don't mean that she's wrong
Hey she might be rich and famous now before too long
Maybe someday you will see
That your art is misery
And then you'll change your occupation
And get hip to the Rattie Nashun

Peace out, ya'll

Vanity

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 14:29:50 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

Well, technically speaking, we've both missed the mark. My post 
should have read something along the lines of "The reasons I have 
for thinking that Bill Stern rocks," and even more 
specifically "The specific reason in relation to this past No 
Shame that I have for thinking that Bill Stern rocks."

Now, I agree with Jordan in thinking that there are many, many 
examples of Bill Stern's rocking, but the phrase should really 
be "Examples of HOW Bill Stern rocks."

WHY Bill Stern rocks is a complex amalgam of genetics and 
environment that scientists are at this very moment laboring to 
understand. And when they crack the code, I want to live in that 
place, know what I'm saying? How many more things can the 
Olympics make wonderful?

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 16:21:18 GMT     IP: 64.12.101.183

Shannon is correct.  How is what i meant, but why is just as 
valid a question...and that will be a better world, a finer world 
to live in.

I may be the first anarchist who wanted to live in a Sterner 
world.  ;)

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 16:24:09 GMT     IP: 64.12.101.183

De plane, de plane...;)

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 17:02:52 GMT     IP: 199.250.136.5

I will say it; I have nuthin to lose:  I did not care for the 
body function piece. I thought it was more like a display of how 
shocking it could be for the sake of shocking. Come on, people: 
From what I have seen at the many No Shames I have attended, I 
do not think that we are easily shocked. It didn't shock me or 
impress me - I can sit up there and do what the artist did a 
thousand times over, and be GOOD at it. I can also shit into my 
hand, smear it on my face and say "Look at me!!!" It doesn't 
mean I'm going to.

Having said that, I have to say that I like the artist. I like 
them quite a bit; I respect them for their individuality and NOT 
caring about mass opinion. On a note to the artist, if you see 
this:  Amen to you. I strive to be more like that. Although our 
theatrical styles may not ever match. I took my poem and was 
scared to share it, because I knew it would disrupt
the "mood". Especially after your piece and the general 
rowdyness of comedy. But No Shame should be about five minutes 
of expressive theatre, funny or serious. We need to welcome  
more serious and real life pieces, in my opinion. My two cents 
anyway. I guess in my long-winded way what I'm trying to say is 
that - I can say that I didn't like someone else's piece and 
it's fucking OK; because I respect them as a bold person. I want 
any and ALL pummeling. I can handle it.  By the way:  to 
Shannon, thanks for making No Shame open and welcoming to all 
involved. You rock.

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 20:35:12 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Good afternoon, my honorable colleagues and ladies,

I was jolly pleased to bring a little evil into your fine 
dramatical establishment last Friday evening, and, if I make 
speak for my esteemed and delicious colleague, Evil Ratgirl, a 
fine time was had by all Evils.

Unfortunately, our car was late in arriving to the theatre, and, 
thus, we missed viewing many of your smashing dramatical and 
comodious pieces.

suffish it to say we were unaware that the indiscretion of our 
improvisional comedy was an embarrassing issue. I apologize for 
my erstwhile and stillwhile friend and comrade, Evil Ratgirl, 
for sounding that most offensive utterance that has burned the 
ears of many a poor Christian and pagan soul. I will not repeat 
the word, but I believe it rhymed with tubes and started with 
the letter "B".

Nevertheleslie, we hope you were not disassembled by our very 
Special Guest Star, Ellen Kolsto, playing the inimitable Miss 
something or other. I can't remember her name, by jolly. Oh, 
yes. Miss Ittsa Sham. In the way of all good comedy writing, I 
can now reveal to you that it was all a mere Set Up. Miss Kolsto 
was in on the thing from the very beginning! Little did you know 
that we Evils were also capable of producing humour.

So, you see, you need not fear that Evil will leave you lurching 
or be disintegrated by a big stick with some balloons on the end 
of it. No. No, my friend. Evil is much more stalwart and rubbery 
than that. Next time, if my evil cohort and grand wagoneer, Evil 
Ratgirl, is game, we evils will bring you a bit of declamation 
or perhaps some mimicry and pig whistling.

Your ever servant in evil,
The Evil Ratgirl (#31)

Postums Scriptimusums: We have the Ratgirls. They are in our 
power. Due to the quick thinking of Wookie Man and Queef Girl, 
we were able to lure and capture our slap-happy, gullible, and 
not properly dressed prey, the Ratgirls. Thank you Wookie Man 
and Queef Girl, your machinations did the trick. You have saved 
the world once again.

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 21:10:29 GMT     IP: 66.25.163.136

Just to be clear, that lovely bodily function Elizabeth Doss was 
performing for our hearing pleasure was a queef, not a fart.  
They sound the same, and the ability to do either on command is 
an impressive display of muscular agility and control, but they 
are different, and they do conjure up different images in one's 
mind.  Personally, I think Liz's queefing is a riot, but I 
respect the opinions of those of you who would prefer to keep 
the queefing out of the theatre.  But you've got to admit that 
it's quite unexpected and unusual (and pretty funny to boot).  I 
mean, I can't do it on command, and I've tried.

Amie

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 21:30:42 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

Yes, I've had to clear up this issue for a couple of people as 
well. 

I saw (heard) Elizabeth queef a few months ago in the parking lot 
of the Blue Theatre and it was totally amazing. When I saw 
(heard) it on Friday, I wasn't as enamored. It wasn't that I was 
offended, it just didn't seem like there was any art involved. 
Physical skill, yes, but art? I'm not so sure. I mean, had there 
been some more set-up, some context or something, I might have 
gotten more out of it. Is that me bringing in too much 
expectation of what makes up a theatrical event? And what's wrong 
with the demonstration of physical skill-I like good juggling 
acts and they don't bring in a whole lot of context. But maybe 
it's that juggling has some built in suspense (what if they drop 
the balls? What if they catch the wrong end of the chain saw?) 
and therefore seems a richer esthetic experience. I don't know. 
As it was, I enjoyed the informal queefing in the parking lot 
much more. I hold dear my right to be inconsistent.

I have a longer post coming any second now wherein I argue that 
had the evening been shuffled a little differently, I might have 
thought E's piece was the greatest thing on Earth. Like in the 
vaudeville act when the geek comes on and eats some crickets or 
bites the head off a chicken or something.

I'm still waiting for Elizabeth to lead a little Sound Painting 
session at No Shame. When's that coming?

Shannon

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 21:54:58 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

Amie points out something worth taking heed of-time issues and 
rehearsal. I think that this had to do with my ambivalent 
feelings about the evening more than the vulgarity thing I 
mentioned earlier (more on this in a bit). Yes, things started 
dragging toward the end of the night, and I think that a night 
that started negatively for me ended with me tired from slow 
pieces. I learn something every time I host the show, and what I 
learned this time is I really need to be a hard ass about 
scripts. Get me a piece of paper, even if it says "lights up, I 
improv a monologue for five minutes, lights down." Because it'll 
help me keep too many similar pieces building up at any 
particular point of the show. I think we could have done 
Saturday night with the exact same pieces but in a different 
order and I would have liked the evening more whole-heartedly.

So anyway the motto of the format is dare to fail, but that 
means I think finding out the limits of what works and hearing 
about it when things do fail-in other words, you can suck but 
we'll still talk to you. This is what voices from the audience 
should do, ideally-they should push pieces along when they're 
dragging and not working. Not just scream in lusty approval when 
someone talks about getting fucked in the ass.

I think the piece that was most universally praised and admired 
the other night was Megan's time travel bit. Now a lot of that 
admiration comes from the fact that Megan is a really good 
writer, and she knows how to keep things short for No Shame 
(she's done probably a hundred pieces as good as that one, 
folks), but the other thing that really helped is that she 
rehearsed the hell out that five-minute piece. Hell, she got a 
DIRECTOR to work with her on that five-minute piece. A lesson? 
Now, not everything has to be off-book. But you'll tend to find 
a high correlation between rehearsed, well-executed pieces and 
the enjoyment coming back from the audience. So keep bringing in 
scripts to read, please, but also maybe run your piece once at 
home with a clock ticking. If you can't get it under five-
minutes, trim like crazy. And if your piece REALLY can't be 
reduced any further (and you need to ask yourself some hard 
questions), break it up and turn it into a series that comes 
back in subsequent No Shames.

OK, having thought more about the vulgarity or shock value or 
whatever issue I was complaining about a couple of days ago, 
after some refelction I realized that that wasn't really the 
problem. Here's my revised take: a) I started the show in a 
lousy mood, b) I was unclear in what I was encouraging from the 
audience when I urged them to vocalize their thoughts, c) I 
really didn't care for Wookie man's piece (another lesson 
learned-don't start the evening with someone who's never been to 
No Shame before) and had many of the same problems with it as 
Megan did, and finally d) the next three pieces had a high level 
of what Megan called "crotch and butt" humor. These three pieces 
were to various degrees more successful than the Wookie thing, 
but I sat there for the first third of the show thinking to 
myself "Oh God, what has this show become?" Then when the final 
third kind of ran out of gas, the bad taste from earlier in the 
evening returned.

For the record, I think crotch and butt humor is fine in certain 
doses. Personally, I like vulgarity and stupidity when it's 
intelligently done-the South Park movie is one of my favorites 
from the past few years. Had we dispersed pieces 2-4 more evenly 
thoughout the show, I probably wouldn't have thought anything of 
it. For the record, I thought Rattie Nation the best of those 
three-good production value and even though the rhymes were 
whack, many it was catchy. Mike's piece was definitely funny and 
well improvised and it did provide us with the catch phrase of 
the evening, but I think it just skimmed the surface of Mike's 
relationship to cunnilingus. Elizabeth's piece was a distant 
third (see my other post from a little bit ago).

OK, talk to you soon,

Shannon

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 21:58:01 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

Is this the eye-patched Evil Ratgirl, or the other one?

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 22:52:19 GMT     IP: 198.214.101.243

Not that we do a very good job of making it too each others' 
shows, but I thought I would tell you about this thing I'm doing-
-for those of you who were there last Friday, you've already 
heard.


I'm doing a show this Sunday at the Alamo Drafthouse downtown 
that I highly 
recommend. We'll be running this 1970s kung fu movie called 
Fearless 
Fighters with the volume turned off. There will be a live 
musical score 
provided by Graham Reynolds (Golden Arm Trio) and live dubbing 
and sound 
effects provided by me and three other actors. It's not improv--
we're 
recreating the actual translation of the dialogue--but man is it 
funny 
anyway.

This show will be good for you if you're a fan of the following 
things in 
any combination:

Martial Arts movies
Bad martial arts movies
Bad facial hair
Live music
Live music accompanying films
The Golden Arm Trio
Comedy
China
The Cowardly Lion
Me

There are two shows: 7 pm and 9:45 pm, Sunday, February 24. Hope 
to see you 
there.

Shannon

Time: Wed, 20-Feb-2002 23:13:31 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.188

Do the Evil Ratgirls kinda give anyone else a really cool "The 
Prisoner" kind of vibe?

"Where am I?"
"In the Hideout."
"What do you want?"
"Improvization."
"Which side are you on?"
"That would be telling. We want 
improvization...improvization...improvization!"
"You won't get it!"
"By hook or by crook...we will."
"Who are you?"
"I am the new Evil Jobber Ratgirl."
"Who is the Evil Ratgirl?"
"You are Number 6."
"I am not a number! I am a free man!"
"No, you blithering moron...you're Number 6 in the order of No 
Shame pieces. You're going on in between some guy shitting 
himself on stage and Bill Stern's new song, 'If I Were an 
Astronaut, Would I Get More Tang?' But keep it under five 
minutes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

...and scene.

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 00:15:34 GMT     IP: 12.237.138.237


    First I'd like to say thank you in responce to posts about 
me rocking.  Y'all also rock very hard. 
    Damn... I really really can't wait to meet evil rat girl.  I am 
working on some songs.  I am not writing the one that 
Jordan proposed, but that was very funny none the less.  I'm 
trying desperately to write new music but it always seems 
like I end up playing some Britney Spears song.  Anyway... 
HOPEFULLY I'll be in Austin for a good while after this 
semester and maybe have a little more insperation and 
motivation to get songs done.

     OH!  And I have one more comment, but it's not about no 
shame... it's about the no shame message board....  IT 
SUCKS!  Graphicly, navigationaly, versitilityly, it sucks.
Shannon, do you know who maintanes it?  I know theres a 
way to impliment a better boardroom system.  Do you have 
controll over that?

-bill

p.s.   I can't spell or punctuate things correctly, sorry.

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 00:34:27 GMT     IP: 216.201.187.178

Just a little note to you guys about your critiques of the 
wookie and queef pieces.  I'm a little concerned that the 
messages on this board might discourage people from performing 
pieces such as those when elsewhere on the site there seem to be 
notes which encourage that sort of art ("Anything goes! 
Experimentation and shameless behavior is encouraged!").

Personally, I liked the crotch and butt pieces in question.  I 
felt the wookie piece went on a little long, but other than 
that, all of those pieces worked for me.  They were funny.  Made 
me laugh out loud.  I didn't learn anything about myself or the 
world around me, but I had a good time.

As for the evening being a drag at the end, I didn't even notice 
that.  Perhaps that's because I was in one of the pieces I think 
you're complaining about (I'm the guy who bought the Liz Phair 
albums).  But if you feel some of the pieces dragged at the end, 
I would appreciate hearing why you feel that way.  Particularly 
if I was one of the people who caused the evening to drag. 

Oh, and yeah - the time travel bit kicked ass.  I don't even 
know why.  But I liked it a WHOLE lot.

monkey

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 01:04:43 GMT     IP: 216.201.187.178

In response to butt-fucking (well, the piece on butt-fucking, not 
a response to butt-fucking in general).

I'm not sure why men are so afraid of being fucked in the ass.  
Being a man, myself, I can tell you why I don't want it to 
happen.  But my reasons are more logistical questions concerning 
ketchup bottle physics as well as fears of ridicule based on the 
looks of the thing after several years of Lone Star and spicy 
foods.  But we're not here to talk about me.  Or my anus.

Most men, I would wager, don't want things in their asses because 
they feel that having something up there would be uncomfortable.  
Which, I assume, is why most women I have talked to don't want 
things in their asses.  Which is also why I think most men do 
want to fuck women in the ass.  To get a woman to agree to an act 
which makes the woman uncomfortable is to exert a kind of power 
over the woman.  So, the anal sex may not be all that physically 
comfortable for the man, but I imagine mentally it's quite 
exciting due to the sheer domination aspect of the deed.

And maybe this is why a lot of men don't want to be fucked in the 
ass.  We see the catcher in this act as the submissive one.  But 
we're taught that men are supposed to be dominant.  

I don't think that men who shy away from butt-fucking are 
necessarily homophobic, but I do think they have bought too much 
into the whole dominant male theory that we're taught as young 
boys.  And anyone who has bought into that theory probably won't 
have a lot of respect for non-dominant men.  Meaning they 
probably won't have a lot of respect for homosexuals, whom they 
regard as submissive woman-creatures.  

So, if we state that art which makes fun of butt-fucking really 
is making fun of men who are submissive, which is sort of making 
fun of men who are homosexual, then should we perform this type 
of art?  Should we advocate such a potentially homophobic state 
of mind?  I don't know.  Who gets to say what art is acceptable 
and what art is not?  Which side of the issue do we allow on the 
stage, the man who hates the gay man or the gay man, himself?  
And if we deny the stage to the homophobic man (and I am not 
saying that's what you're doing), then who's the real winner here?

But then again, maybe he just thought it'd be nice to be all up 
in a hairy butt. 

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 04:39:23 GMT     IP: 172.150.86.92

Hi, this is Jeff Goode, your friendly neighborhood No Shame 
Webmaster.

Everything on or about the No Shame website is free or 
donated.  So some of it sucks.  These message boards have 
sucked for quite some time.  But they're free.  And even a 
novice can figure out how it works [or should work]

If you know of a better system that is also free, I would be 
more than happy to try to implement it.


...Jeff

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 07:53:17 GMT     IP: 12.237.138.237

Hey.... wow I'm impressed that a moderator even reads the 
posts.  Well, I quess the money issue does cause a little bit 
of a problem... BUT  since there are more computer nerds 
(per capita) in a quarter mile radius of my apartment than 
anywhere else in the world.... I know a guy who knows a guy 
who hosts his own message board.  It's a really clean with 
member sign-in and all that.... I'll see what I can do for us.

-bill

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 14:29:56 GMT     IP: 199.250.136.5

Now that I'm looking over my post, I realize it was hastily 
written. We should do whatever we want for No Shame, that's the 
whole freakin' point.  

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 16:14:46 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Yes.

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 16:42:44 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

I've never been to a No Shame before but from what Ratgirl tells 
me it is very fun. By the way, has anyone seen the Ratgirls 
lately. I'm a little concerned because Ratgirl didn't come home 
on Friday night and the kids in the bunker haven't been fed in 
several days.

I called the other Ratgirl to see if they were having a slumber 
party or something, but that Courtney Hopkin person kept 
answering the phone and then hanging up on me.

If you've seen my Ratgirl, please tell her to call me asap. I 
don't know how to communicate with all these people in the 
bunker. Some of them don't speak English or American Rat. They 
won't eat anything - rootbeer, cheetohs, corndogs, watermelon.

The old guys with beards are starting to scare me.

You can call my cell phone at any time day or night to reach me: 
731-0428.

Thanks,
Stephanie
(Lil Stooge)

PS If a man answers the phone, that's just Big Stooge. You can 
talk to him, too.

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 19:59:42 GMT     IP: 207.207.27.65

Well, I guess you art it better than my art.  How was my theatre 
not expressive or funny and exactly how was you theatre more 
so?   Those things are purely subjective and it doesn't really 
matter if you liked my piece or not.  I didn't do it for you.
I guess what bothers me about your responce is you assumed that I 
was trying to shock, which is entirely not the case.  I did my 
piece because this "pussy" has something to say and she ain't 
afraid TO LET HER TALENT SHINE!  It sounded to me by saying that 
you could do what I did and do it better that you were trying to 
challenge me.  Go ahead.  I liked to see you try.  Now how's that 
for theatre, a "queef off"?  And just for the record,  WHAT THE 
FUCK IS SO VULGAR AND TALKING THROUGH MY VAGINA.  You make it 
vulgar.  Art is what you make of it.

I liked you piece too Maggie!
The lizard

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 20:09:30 GMT     IP: 207.207.27.65

art fart smart vart.............it's all the same fucking thing...
Besides Shannon, did I not preface my piece by saying that it was 
a work in progress?  That there is more to it than that.  Do you 
people want to do a q and a or something? In the meantime, I'll 
sticking to queefing for me and friends in parking lots.  At 
least my piece was short.
 the lizard
ps
 a lot of people don't think sound Painting is art, just for the 
record.

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 20:21:53 GMT     IP: 128.83.182.9

Anything goes at No Shame - absolutely!  And part of the joy/risk 
of No Shame is that you never know what you're going to get.  It's 
grab bag theatre.  Sometimes a piece will blow you away; sometimes 
it'll just blow.  Halleluiah.

At the same time, just because anything goes, doesn't mean that 
"anything" can't get critiqued afterwards.  That's part of the 
performers' risk - and also, I think, the responsibility.  As 
theatre makers, we have a responsibility for what we put on stage. 
(I'm just testing this idea out right now - I reserve the right to 
disagree with myself later on!)  If I want to put up a piece where 
I put on blackface and hop around saying, "I is a stupid black 
man," then fine.  But I have to be responsible for what message 
that's sending out.

Am I arguing for PC Theatre, or Softy Liberal Message Theatre?  Or 
worse, Tip Toe Don't Offend Theatre?  Not at all.  If you're a 
Nazi and want to say Nazi things, more power to you.  this is 
America.  Or if you want to just get up and  say the equivilent of 
"piss damn fart" for comedy's sake, then great. Or if you want to 
use vulgarity or offensiveness as a tool to serve your purposes in 
a piece, whoo hoo for you.  But do it deliberately, if not with 
craft and skill, than at least with awareness of what you're 
putting up.   the primary value of No Shame to me, as a writer/
performer, has been perspective.  I often don't know what I have 
until I've put it up and gotten an audience reaction, which is why 
No Shame (and this message board) is so great.  For example, I 
didn't know my time travel piece was funny.  Until people laughed.  

As for the length of the evening, I don't think it's the end 
pieces' fault.  We had 16 (!) pieces last night; if each one ran 
just one minute over, that's an extra 16 minutes to the evening.  
For a show that started 20 minutes late, that's a lot.  Also, and 
I'm not just saying this because you said nice things about my 
piece, but I really thought the record store piece was 
thoughtfully done.  I thought it really worked well as a piece of 
theatre.  It was the "sleeper hit" of the night for me.  As I said 
before, it probably could have used a little trimming, but it was 
really well executed and thought-out.  I enjoyed it a lot.  If 
every NS piece was as well-executed, we could probably be 
justified in charging more than a mere $2.  I think it just 
suffered mostly from its place in the order, and from outside 
can't-be-helped circumstances.  

Love this forum!

- Megan

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 22:07:58 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.25

I've been reading about this show in New York called the Anti-
Slam run by this woman named Reverend Jen. You should check out 
her site-www.revjen.com-she's got a total No Shame kind of deal 
going on.

Anyway, everyone at the Anti-Slam gets rated a ten in contrast 
to the icky grading that goes on at most poetry slams. She says 
that one woman protested that if everyone got a ten, how would 
people get better. Rev Jen responds by saying that if people 
want to get better they should go to grad school or whatever, 
that she doesn't understand the notion progress in the arts, 
etc. I half-agree with this.

I think that there is such a thing as progress in the arts, but 
it's relative to the person, not to some platonic ideal. What we 
should all be struggling our hardest to do is to become 
ourselves as honestly and completely as possible. So here's my 
take on what this means for No Shame and criticism of pieces at 
No Shame. The motto is "dare to fail," not "dare to not be 
criticized." But I think the role of criticism at No Shame isn't 
to make performers and writers conform to some standard-whether 
that be an accepted style of acting or a list of words and 
subject matter or bodily functions deemed offensive. 

Rather, the criticism should be there to enable people to find 
their voice and become the kind of performer/writer/queefer they 
want to be. If any of us are critical of a piece, I would hope 
it's in the spirit of giving an honest appraisal of one's own 
feelings for others to think about and respond to, not as an act 
of discouragement or censorship. Everyone is welcome at No 
Shame. Everyone. And if I didn't care for your last piece, it 
doesn't mean that I won't think your next one is genius. And 
vice-versa. Does that make sense or am I rambling too much?

So I want John (Wookie Man) to come back and do whatever he 
wants. I can't wait. And if I don't like his piece, I'll 
probably say so on the board again. And if he doesn't agree with 
what I say about his piece, great. And if I help him become the 
kind of writer he wants to be, great. And I want Elizabeth to 
come back and queef again on stage if that's what she wants to 
do-it is a work in progress after all. And it was short, unlike 
my monologue and other pieces. And had I not thought it a 
harbinger of an entire night of such material, I probably 
wouldn't have thought twice about it.

And LizardBreath--who thinks that Sound Painting isn't art? 
Those people are silly.

Time: Thu, 21-Feb-2002 22:57:43 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

My dear friend in fame, Mr. McCormick,

I am decidedly grateful to you for telling me about this place of 
improvement they call Grad School. Please tell me more. I long to 
improve my performativational skills and talents.

Also, could you request from the Most Reverend and Horific Jen 
whereabouts one could go to learn to be less boring?

I thank you in advance for your efforts in the cause of evil.

Your ever servant,
The Evil Ratgirl (#31)

Postdatums ScriptWorksum: By this request I do not wish to 
suggest that my fellow flatulator and friend, Evil Ratgirl, is 
boring, boorish, or b**bish to any degree. Quite the contrary, I 
find Evil Ratgirl to be quite sintillating. Well, she is, may I 
say, evil in the very best way. ER#31

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 00:08:29 GMT     IP: 128.83.176.160

Oh, I'm not recommending grad school at all. I'm also not arguing 
against it. And the Reverend Jen was being flip. You understand 
flip, yes? 

I don't know about you Evils, but Ratgirl and Jobber Ratgirl 
probably wouldn't get much out of gard school. The teachers would 
just yell at them and tell them to stop being rats (as if that 
were possible) and what good would that do? Said teachers 
probably wouldn't treat you any differently and they might even 
make you shave your beard so that you could be in their 
production of Guys and Dolls.

The Rev Jen often dresses as an elf. She sells magical elf 
panties online. And she's got a musical called Rats that you 
might want to look up on her web site.

When are the Evils getting a web site?

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 05:07:26 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.163

I think a q and a is a great idea...depending on which orifice is 
doing the a.  ;)

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 05:13:22 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.163

Heh...Reverend Jen.  I'm starting a trend.

and now i'm rhyming too...dammit!

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 13:42:57 GMT     IP: 128.83.128.154

Shannon said:

"The motto is "dare to fail," not "dare to not be 
criticized." But I think the role of criticism at No Shame isn't 
to make performers and writers conform to some standard-whether 
that be an accepted style of acting or a list of words and 
subject matter or bodily functions deemed offensive. "

Hear, hear!  I wholeheartedly agree.  And I know what I said 
earlier about crotch n' butt humor not being my favorite, but 
after listening to the South Park movie soundtrack for the 
umpteenth time, I realized that I enjoy a good poop joke as much 
as anybody.  But the key words for me are "good" and "joke." 

Also, I'm really heartened to see that No Shame is embracing a 
culture of friendly critique on this board.  It's been my 
experience that sometimes the popularity of the performer can 
eclipse any criticism of his/her piece, and that doesn't do 
anybody any favors.  For example, everybody loves Joe Schmoe, so 
nobody wants to say his piece about ice skaters didn't follow 
through with the jello metaphor.  Which doesn't help Joe Schmoe, 
because maybe he gets warm n' fuzzy feelings because everybody 
loves him, but has no idea that his pieces are half-baked.  

But maybe some performers aren't looking to rewrite their 
pieces, or aren't interested in getting a detailed reaction from 
this community.  So let me state right here:  I WANT TO BE 
CRITIQUED.  If I put up a piece at No Shame, and later on you 
have a comment or a confusion or a question or were bored, I 
want to know about it.  I know Shannon has said some lovely 
things about me and how fabulous my pieces have been in the past 
(Thanks, Shannon), but let me properly lower expectations by 
saying that I can suck just as hard as the next person.  And 
when I do, I want to know about it.  Because I don't want my 
enormous ego to get in the way of my seeing that a piece doesn't 
work.  Or could work better.  By the same token, if a piece I do 
really trips your trigger, that's great!  I'd love to hear about 
it, and the more specific you can be, the better.  And I promise 
I'll do my best to extend the same courtesy to you and your 
pieces.  

Love this forum!

- Megan G.

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 14:55:01 GMT     IP: 198.214.102.25

The last time Jordan was involved in a two-part, multi-No Shame 
piece was back when the Jury did their investigative report on 
Ratgirl. Granted, Jordan did do much but look good in a suit and 
get the crap beat out of him by unexpected wrestlers, but he was 
there. And let's remember, the night the wrestlers came was the 
first appearance at No Shame by Jobber Ratgirl.

So now that I hear the Ratgirls have gone missing, I'm wondering 
if Jordan's sigil will play some key role in returning them to 
us. His sigil is all about More Art, remember. And the Ratgirls 
are always talking about art. And we already know that in sigil-
land, More Art= Mrrt = Mr. T and as you should remember, Mr. T 
first rose to national prominence in Rocky III, which also 
featured *gasp* wrestler Hulk Hogan. Is it all becoming  clear 
now?

I pity the fool who don't believe the world is run by the 
Illuminati.

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 17:43:15 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Most Beneficient HooHahs and Gentlemen Callers,

After partaking in an evening's viewing of evil axis television, 
I was made aware that sigils are considered by many avid 
Christian-type folk a sign of sorcerous doings. As such, I 
commend Mr. Jordanian for his bipartisano encouragement of more 
sorcerous doings et cetera in the No Shame community.

Also, after partaking in an evening's viewing of evil axis 
television, I realize that Mr. Jordanian looks very familiar, but 
that I did not at first recognize him because he has so 
remarkably changed his appearance since last we met on the 
steppes of Doom. I apologize for not immediately embracing him 
and giving him the secret handshake of Maldefer dermatitis.

As I was saying, the world needs more art like it needs a good 
firm handshake of Maldefer dermatitis.

In closing, I would like to say that in waiting with my beloved 
old friend and esteemed barbituate Evil Ratgirl for our long-
anticipated grand entrance last Friday evening, I inadvertantly 
almost interrupted several of the wrong pieces, thinking they 
were Shannon's incommodious but much anticipated "Return of Evil" 
dramatic tableau.

"Is it time?" I requested of the beloved Evil Ratgirl.

"No, it is not time," Evil Ratgirl replied as she leaned ruggedly 
gainst one of the Black Walls of Damnation.

"This is quite unentertaining," I retorted, scratching my 
umbrella.

Evil Ratgirl twirled her mustachio.

"By Jove, why they aren't even using real lizards," I exclaimed 
in a righteous huff. "How can one run a proper Lizard Fair, 
without utilizing actual reptilious mamealians?"

"You are mistaken, Evil Ratgirl," said Evil Ratgirl from the 
Black Floor of Damnation. "It is intended to be a scenic 
representation of a Teenage Hangout. Those are scripts they are 
holding, not lizard replicas." 

"Oh," I sighed, scratching my umbrella once more. "But certainly 
it is time now," I said. "Those are distinctly different voices I 
hear."

"No, Evil Ratgirl. It is yet another teenage hangout, and those 
are once again scripts, not lizard replicas."

"Oh, jollygood." I said, slumping futiliously in defeat.

So you see, I was unaware of the enduring appeal of the Teenage 
Hangout genre and as a result was completely unprepared to 
entertain myself for the interdiction.

Be assured, however, that I will bring some hearty reading 
material, like the New Republic or Jane's Flying Machines or 
something like that, that I may peruse whilst you dawdle about 
with your lizard replicas.

To that end, the Evil Ratgirls will offer their services, if I 
may make so bold with the body and spiritual being of my good 
friend and bohemian, Evil Ratgirl, as Time-Keepers for the 
following No Shame presentational hours. I am also a keen dabbler 
in the art of lizardry, and can provide anyone with an actual 
reptilious mamealian should they so wish. Up to four a night, 
please. They are fragile.

Your ever servant in Hell,
The Evil Ratgirl (#31)

Postoastiesum Snorums: I have lost my train of thought. Ta. RG#31

Time: Fri, 22-Feb-2002 21:29:42 GMT     IP: 66.68.113.171

Dearest No Shame Colleagues and Esteemed Exersisers of the
Critical Profession,
I have been resting at My Summer Home over the past few days,
Recovering from the Shenanagins and Tomfoolery of Our
performance. I come back to find a Bevy of Comments about
performances I wasn?t Fortunate enough to view.
I do want to Iterate that the Improvisational Comedy Evil Ratgirl
and I performed for all of You was directly from Teachings we
Received from the Royal Shakespeare Academy?s School of
Improvisational Comedy.
I am Surprised at the Flippant Utterance of Vulgarities that you
people Employ. I say! You ought to be Ashamed! Although I uttered
a Less Than Savory word on stage, it was for the sake of my Art
and Artistry.
As for those Ne'er-Do-Wells, the Notorious Ratgirls, they are
safe at Our Compound of Evil and will no longer be Torturing you
with their Off-Colour Humor and Disregard for Personal Hygiene.
I must be off, I must attend Polo at Noon, then Tea. By the Ordyr
of the Maximus fragillius I remain
Yours,
Evil Ratgirl (#17)

Time: Sat, 23-Feb-2002 01:42:53 GMT     IP: 12.237.138.237

Ok,
   Obviously there is evil rat girl 17 and evil rat girl 31...  Is 17 
rat girls counterpart and 31 jobber rat girl's counterpart?  or 
is it the other way 'round.
   ALSO, Shannon... you skipped an obvious link from Mr. T 
to Jordan.  I don't know if you've noticed but Jordan is very 
proud of his middle initial.  Which he is always listed as 
Jordan T. Maxwell.  People have even called him T or Mr. T 
in the past.  Just thought I'd let you know.
miss y'all,
bill

Time: Sat, 23-Feb-2002 15:56:20 GMT     IP: 66.25.129.75

I fully agree that we should be prepared to suffer through 
critiques of our performances on this message board.  And in 
person directly after the show.  And perhaps on the phone from 
heavy breathers cleverly disguising their true identities by 
calling from pay phones.  

I just felt that some of the critiques on this board may have 
gone a little too far in condemning certain types of art as 
unnecessary and having no place at No Shame.  Over the past few 
days, more and more posts have convinced me that such 
condemnations are not what was intended.  So, I'm a happy guy 
now.  Thank you all for putting up with a newbie's posts.

And I agree with Megan in that I also greatly desire critiques 
after each performance.  I plan on using No Shame to put up some 
work I would love to improve.  I certainly hope you folks can 
help me do so.

Oh, and just to clear things up, I didn't write the Liz Phair 
piece.  Travis did.  He just let me act in it. 

monkey

Time: Sat, 23-Feb-2002 20:16:54 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.186

My task is clear and set out before me now. The laws of 
convergence and synchronicity etch out the face of destiny, and 
i am bound to obey. The sigil will be empowered. Art, beauty and 
truth will spread out like a pulse over the globe. And the Rat 
Girls shall be free...

Yes, Evil Ratgirl, when last we met on the Steppes of Doom you 
vanquished me and mine, setting us to this exile of crude 
flesh...and though our numbers be not legion anymore, know that 
when next we meet it shall be in a time and place not of our 
choosing, but by the Hand of the Maker who cannot be denied. 
Prepare yourself for combat on the astral plane!

Also, to add to Shannon's conspiracy theories, isn't Art just 
Rat spelled sideways?



Jordan T. Maxwell
"The Reverend"
aspiring pop mage.

Time: Mon, 25-Feb-2002 19:31:03 GMT     IP: 199.250.136.5

did you read my post all the way through? If you did, you would 
see that even if I didn't like what you did I still admire you 
for having the balls to do it.  Why don't you read my post again 
before you incorrectly assume that you know what I'm talking 
about.

BTW:  I followed it up by saying that I wrote my post hastily, 
and that we should do whatever we want for No Shame, that's the 
whole point of it.

Time: Mon, 25-Feb-2002 19:39:34 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Dear Honorifical Members of the World Without Shame Eternal Realm,

Refreshed from my biturperations at the Summer House, I 
remembered myself to imbibe to you the origins of the 
Improvisional Comedy which I and my refreshingly familiar 
fraternus Evil Ratgirl and I performed for you the Friday past 
the Friday last before we went down to the Summer House and 
performed Polo on horseback.

If you recall in your memories our premier appearance at the 
Shameless Hideabout, you will note that the evenings' fare was 
prodominically Improvisional Comedy. Thus schooled, Evil Ratgirl 
and myself took it as a sign that we should learn more about this 
inigmatical genre. To that end, as the frissonical Evil Ratgirl 
has apprised you, we were indoctrinated at the Royal Academy of 
Improvisional Comedy, which, as Evil Ratgirl neglected to 
mention, is supported by the Queen of England God Save the Queen. 
(Evil Ratgirl is modest in the extreme and rarely boasts of her 
accomplishments and multifabulous agilities and certifications.)

Duly tutored and chamoised in the Fine Art of Improvisational 
Comedy (and now holding two geniune chamois and horsehair 
Certificates from the Royal Academy of Improvisional Comedy, 
which is in London Towne as you might intuit), we felt inclined 
to re-honor your honored theater and do a bit of a recital-cum-
recital for all of you and your guests.

Forthwith we did that and no one noticed. Perhaps, whilst we were 
learning the Art of Improvisional Comedy the tide turned and 
washed something new ashore. Thus tutored, we will in future 
attempt to contrive something more trendentious and with-it for 
your Protean taste (not to be confused with your protein shakes).

Your ever servant in evility,
The Evil Ratgirl (#17)

Postpartum Scrimshawl: That was not us on the telephone apparatus 
calling your home. In our unknowing of the use of the American 
telephony system, we unfortunately dialed several numerous wrong 
numbers in attempting to contact our confidant and Coca (-cola) 
connection, the Reverend Miss Cleo, MBE, RsPCa, HAmBoNe. As we 
always do when using unsecurable telephonic apparati, we of 
course utilized one of the many RsPCa secret codes, completely 
unknown to you and, thus, this is of course why you don't know 
what we are talking about. If this happens again, please set down 
the receiver and call your retriever. Regards, ER17

Time: Mon, 25-Feb-2002 23:01:04 GMT     IP: 199.250.136.5

Well, I just want to say that I think my opinion of the queefing 
piece came off way too harshly. I wanted to let Miss Thang know 
one more time that I like her a lot; I didn't mean to indicate 
anything offensive to her and if I did, I apologize. I'm new to 
expressing myself on a public forum and I came on strong. That's 
all - I will go away now !!

Time: Tue, 26-Feb-2002 03:18:55 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.182

This just goes to prove my theory...English people don't know 
shit.  A day is coming when the ravens must needs leave the Tower 
and the monarchy will crumble to dust, leaving a void for the 
utopian anarchists of Scotland to march in, followed by stumbling 
drunken Ulstermen of Erin land, and finally the tiptoeing tepid 
masses of Wales...who will still believe themselves conquered 
though now they'll be unsure of whom and whine about it somewhat, 
but generally do nothing about it.  God, i love the Scottish...

Time: Tue, 26-Feb-2002 16:18:03 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

This may be your LAST CHANCE to tell the Number One Vortex BEE-
OTCH
to STEP OFF -

The First Annual Vortex

Amie Elyn Roast

With Hosts
David SALDAćA
Elizabeth DOSS
and RatGIRL

WHEN:	Saturday, March 2, 2002
9 pm 'til She's Done

WHERE:	The Vortex

COST:	$5 to WATCH
$5 more to TELL HER OFF
$5 more to SPANK HER BOTTOM

All monies collected allow us to send Amie Elyn to Japan for one 
year, guaranteed.

Sign up will begin at 8:45 pm in the cafe. You may come late, 
but bring a date.

If you want to volunteer to work the roast, donate stuff, or 
complain about it, please call Ratgirl at 731-0428 
(ratgirlus@hotmail.com) or Stephanie Swenson at 478-8648 
(lilstoogie@hotmail.com).

Time: Tue, 26-Feb-2002 17:12:32 GMT     IP: 165.97.10.201

Warning: Ratgirl's hotmail account has been closed by Microsoft 
and the New Freedom Corps presumably at the direction of the 
Evil Ratgirls. They will not return my phone calls or emails and 
have only given me a message saying Ratgirl violated the Terms 
of Use. I read the Terms of Use and I know Ratgirl has done 
nothing to violate them or break any known laws domestic or 
international.

Please note Ratgirl's new hotmail account:

ratgirlrattus@hotmail.com

I don't know when my little rattie will be able to use this 
account but I hope it will be here waiting for her when she 
comes home.

Please help me find my ratgirl.

Lil Stooge

Time: Tue, 26-Feb-2002 18:58:34 GMT     IP: 165.97.46.30

Ratgirl will hold a press conference later today or maybe next 
week. It depends on whether the Evil Ratgirls let her and 
whether she can reschedule nuclear weapons negotiations with Kim 
Jong Il.

Thank you,
Lil Stooge

Time: Thu, 28-Feb-2002 04:04:10 GMT     IP: 12.237.138.237

Hey everybody,
   Y'all should all go back and check out the new message 
board.  It is highly sweet.  At least I think it is.  If you don't like 
it, then just ignore it and it will probably go away, like 
Anthony Micheal Hall.  
-bill