What?

Nothing.

You always say nothing.

You always ask what.

Do you think our sex life is bad? Cause I do.

What?

Nothing.

I want a divorce.

I don’t.

What?

I don’t want a divorce.

Why? You’re having an affair!

Is that a problem?

With a woman!

It’s exciting.

She’s sixty!

I like the texture!

I’m dying.

What?

Nothing.

You’re not dying, you’re just psychologically tortured. It’s too convenient to be dying when you’re tortured. It makes you too interesting.

I’m dying, and I thought you might be interested.

You’re backing me into a corner, and I don’t much appreciate it.

I don’t care. I want a divorce.

No. How would that look if I divorced you right before you died?

I thought you didn’t believe me.

I don’t want to give you the satisfaction.

When did you…

I’m pregnant.

What?

I said I’m pregnant.

Have you told Myrtle?

No. You’re the father.

Of course I’m the father! Why?

What?

Why are you pregnant?

Because I stopped taking the pill. I wanted a baby. You’re going to be a father, so live with it.

I thought we had an agreement.

Agreements are like transvestites. They’re open to interpretation.

I’m dying. That’s not open to interpretation.

I disagree.

I’m tortured.

I apologize.

For what?

Nothing.

I’m leaving.

Where are you going?

Why do you care?

I don’t.

I’m moving out.

You’re not taking anything with you.

I don’t need anything. (pause) What are you going to name the baby?

I was thinking Sandy. Boy or girl. Like the beach where we met.

I like the texture. (starts to leave)

I loved you.

What?

Nothing.

(MAN exits. WOMAN watches him leave. LIGHTS OUT.)

"Textures" debuted November 15, 2002, performed by Bryant Duffy, Sarah Reinhardt.

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