Time: Sat, 04-Sep-1999 21:35:14 GMT     IP: 63.15.134.209

No message, really.
Just going to yell, "orDER! orDER!" some more.

James

Time: Thu, 09-Sep-1999 23:03:47 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.127

Friday Sept 3, 1999: A Dreary Rehash and Pretentious Review!

1. "Mose Hayward and the Wonderful Smell" by Jamal River
       First complaint: Labor Day is off my list of favorite 
holidays because it provided the season opener with a hideously 
scant and not-ready-to-have-fun audience.  This audience did not 
laugh when they should've, such as every time Jamal and I open 
our mouths or even just get within 3 feet of the stage.  And 
where the figgidy-fo are the mo-fo curtains, jack?  Also 
audiences don't seem to like the sort of endings where they 
don't know when to applaud.  Also insufficient response to 
"Puppy rape," a phrase which I feel is intrinsically hilarious.  
This piece was fun and funny and a fun-ness.

2. "The Importance of Not Being in The Importance of Being 
Earnest, or Welcome to the University of Happy Theatre Majors" 
by Sarah Greer
      The dialogue had kind of a screwball-comedy feel in print, 
and I think it would've worked better had all the lines been 
delivered His-Girl-Friday double-speed style. I just 
automatically presume that I will not ever be cast in anything. 
Ever. So I don't see why one should bother getting one's hopes 
up, only to have them dashed against the jagged rocks of the 
Theater Department.

3. "An Excerpt from Spap Oops" by Kyle Lange
      Uncomfortable, unprepared actors + hostile stage 
directions which force them to get their bosoms and buttholes 
groped= a barrel of laughing.

4.  "Jeepers, They're All Dead" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
      The performance, which was all screeching and weirdness 
for its own sake, outweighed the content_ which was also weird. 
Usually when people present an unpleasant, sociopathic 
character, its founded in some sort of exaggerated stereotype or 
something, but this was just free-form weird. I believe these 
are good things. I personally wish more performers would persue 
this line of acting.

5. "An Experiment in the Strange but Wonderful World of Non-
Offensive, Subtle Comedy" by Al Angel
      Al has cornered the market on blow-job skits.  If only the 
audience could read the stage directions, they would have 
learned that the grand-finale was a blow job administered by a 
little boy. To Al.  A little boy giving Al a blow job.  I'm 
sorry Al, I was just not prepared to make good on the stage 
direction "Pizza boy blows load, exits."  I tried though, Al_ I 
tried.

6. "The Coward Meets a Girl" by Don Deeley
            A gag-collection is good, because usually at No 
Shame yelling or sticking the word "fuck" in the middle of a 
sentence is supposed to fuckin' pass for a fuckin' joke fuck.  
But there were jokes here, and funny ones, even if the staging 
was A) too far back and B) mostly blocked by the blow-job table, 
and the performers were mostly C) too quiet. Also the only Chris 
Okishi appearance, a highlight lamentable only for its brevity.

7. "A Story About Girls" by Dan Brooks
      This was the only piece the audience whipped up any 
enthusiasm for, so I'm jealous.  Also due to this old-man-
telling-story-about-brutalizing-dead-celebrities riff, I must 
write a new piece for this week, so I'm pissed off.  Also this 
was funnier than my piece, so I'm just furious.  Also The Great 
Dictator, even if it wasn't very good, at least had its heart in 
the right place, and Chaplin's appalling, maudlin speechifying 
was at least heart-breaking in that Roger Rabbit "Sometimes 
laughter is the most powerful weapon we got" way.  I couldn't 
say this for, say, Life is Beautiful.

8. "James Lin Erwin" by The Beckett Parody
       I've seen more Beckett Parodies than Beckett plays.  
Actually, I've never seen Beckett staged.  Also it's hard to do 
a parody of comedy.  I laughed and it was short, and what the 
hell more do I really want?

9. "Religious Satire #24 or Jesus of Nazereth Kicks Back" by 
Mike Cassady
        Mr. Cassady wins the evening with DickCramp's line about 
how everything would be great, if it weren't for the agonizing 
cramps in his dick.  What I like about Cassady's dick jokes is 
that they pretty much consist of saying the word "dick."  That's 
way funnier than trying to do a dick pun or a situation-dick gag 
(no pun intended on phrase "dick gag").

10. "The Aristotle Project" by Mike Rothschild
       I know Rothschild hated Blair Witch, but this parody 
didn't give me any sense of what he thought was wrong with it, 
apart from an excess of curse words_ of which Blair Witch had 
significantly fewer than the average No Shame sketch.  It 
reminds me of those MAD Magazine parodies, where you just get 
the general sense that the writers knew they had to do a "send-
up" but didn't really have major qualms with the movie, so they 
just toss in a bunch of jokes not really about the movie. Unlike 
MAD, though, "Aristotle" was kind of funny.

11. "During the Course of This Piece, God Will Kill Several Cute 
Puppies" by Jimmy James Erwin.
      You and your friends will be saying "Mind if I shoot a 
load in your face?" for weeks!

11.5  "Old Joke, New Political Statement" by 8-ball Lange
      In unwitting competition for evening's best AntiDrug PSA 
Joke it lost out next to Rothschild's meth OD scene.  Also 
sketch had no foul language or wiener jokes, so maybe it was 
working on a different level than my brains can process.

12. "You Got Peanut Butter In My Vagina! You Got Vagina In My 
Peanut Butter!" Magical theater by Chris Stangl
       Chris comes out, pretends he hates theater, is rude to 
the audience, says "fart" says "vagina," takes off pants, 
consumes waste matter, falls down.  It all takes 53 minutes 
because he has no editing skills. Audience doesn't laugh. Most 
people only stick with unvarying formulas if they work.  Also, 
the Wacky Wall-Walker joke was a total misfire, and I got this 
vibe from the audience like they didn't have any fond childhood 
memories of Wacky Wall-Walkers.

13. "James Brown May Have Been The Godfather Of Soul, But He 
Ain't That Funny, Well Maybe He Is, I Don't Know", by James Horak
        Admittedly wasn't listening, because I was shaking my 
ass so damn hard, yo.  However I know it contained the line 
"took the poop out of the cage," and that's a giggler if I ever 
heard one.

14. "I'd Give My Left Nut To Be In My Right Mind" by Aaron 
Galbraith
       I hope good monologues will be back in vogue this 
season.  My only complaint about monologues is that people wind 
up not utilizing the space, and that's a shame when you have a 
really good physical performer like Mr. Galbraith.  Mind you, he 
did enough in "Spap Oops" to sate anyone's Galbraith appetite 
for the night, so what am I yammering about?

15. "Y Not 2K?" by Greg Wicklund
        I read 1984 in 7th grade, and it still hasn't come 
true.  I saw Blade Runner and Brazil and read Brave New World in 
8th grade and none of them have come true.  Everything I saw in 
1999 had Millennium or 2000 tacked onto its title, and none of 
them came true, but they all gave me a headache.

     Someday in the distant future, someone will do a non-comedy 
piece.  I am lying. It is Opposite Day. So I am lying. I just 
blew your mind_ or DIDN'T I?!?!
               -Your Mom,
                            Chris Stangl

Time: Mon, 13-Sep-1999 16:55:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.255

Well, I came back this week and did 
another goddamn skit.  I'll talk about 
that, cause if people don't wanna read 
it they don't hafta.  Infact, why don't I 
just go ahead and talk about the whole 
damn show.


1 - Recesses of TB - Very funny, use of 
cool extremely dark lighting was 
unique and made for a great opener for 
the night. 

2-Jamal Singing - 'twas cool to hear 
Jamal singing something other than 
some goofy NS type song.  Maybe I'll 
buy that CD after all.

3-Abdominal Pain Thing - Funny and 
disgusting in a way transcending the 
usual NS type of disgusting, smart and 
a little longer than I would have liked.

3.5) Bill Bungeroth;Persona- Funny ass 
shit, no doubt, though I'm sure that 
those less familiar with Dan were 
perhaps not as appreciative of the 
latent humor.  Not that I'm immensely 
familiar with Dan_ or anyone.  I'm too 
antisocial to be bothered with 
familiarity.  Anyhow, I thought this was 
just brilliant.

4) Balls Campbell;Inside a Big Black 
Shaft - This was funny and very short, 
which makes it more fun at the time, 
but ultimately mor forgettable.

5) Aprille Clarke's 911skit - Not as 
funny as her 'Planet of' and 'English 
Major' pieces would have led me to 
expect, but still worth it.  The 
tourniquet idea was a clever twist, but 
I can't remember why he stabs her.

6)Oh, it's me. - I actually started 
writing this about 9:00 friday night.  
People tell me it was incredibly funny, 
but really I just couldn't bear the 
thought of paying to get in.

7) Kyle - More music!  More Good 
Music!  Two in one night, what next, 
two poems in one night? (wait)

8) Luke Pingel;Two Horny Boys Go to 
Church-  Damn this was funny.  It also 
made fun of old people, which is 
something I neglected to mention in my 
piece.

8.5) Mark Hansen;Minneapolis - This is 
the skit I wish I'd written.  It reminds 
me of another skit I was thinking of 
doing this week, but it included other 
people, and I'm too antisocial to bother 
with them_

 9) Willie Barbour;The Feast- Clever, 
funny, beautiful.

10) Mike Rothschild's Three Odes - 
Poetry!  Funny poetry which involves 
running in the dark!  Dangerous poetry!  
It was a hootenanny and and a half for 
sure.

11)Cassady;Women are likemetaphors...
Cute, disturbing, sad.  Funny in all the 
right places - which was all the wrong 
places.  Which was good - which is bad.

12) Aaron Galbraith;That was a simile 
dickhead, not a metaphor - This was 
really funny and it made fun of old 
people.  Sucker, I don't even know 'er!

13) Chris Stangl's Judy Garland - 
Funniest goddamn thing I've seen in a 
long time.  I know Chris is going to do a 
lot of sketches approximately as funny 
as this one as the semester wears on, 
which sucks since I'd really like to see 
this one again at BONS.  Chris, did you 
have to do extensive research on this 
piece, or are you just a huge fan of 
WoO?  Thank god this piece came after 
mine - if it hadn't, it would be really 
hard to hide the fact that I had wet my 
pants from laughing at it.  Also, it made 
fun of old people.

14) Ezekiel Horak;Gender-Relational 
Tension - I'm not going to lie.  I have 
forgotten this peice.  Somehow it 
eludes my memory entirely and I feel 
like a putz for having to say so.  Big 
apology, Horak.

14.5) Sister Mary Katherine and Sister 
Sarah Katherine - Having one piece as a 
preface for another seems like 
cheating to me.  But then, who am I to 
argue?  The intro was cute and kind of 
funny and created an apporopriate air 
of concern for what was ultimately not 
to be.

15) Danger Brooks;The Hanging Poem - 
Danger finally tries to make good on his 
nickname, alas.  It was still cool, Dan 
slumping backwards from the 
catwalks.  The poem was very 
evocative.  I loved watching the pages 
drift to the stage.  Dangerous poetry!  
Lilacs!

Aloha

Time: Mon, 13-Sep-1999 18:29:43 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.62


2-Jamal Singing - 'twas cool to hear 
:
Jamal singing something other than 
:
some goofy NS type song.  Maybe I'll 
:
buy that CD after all.

Yes, Nick, it was cool, wasn't it? Wasn't that cool? Man, if it 
wasn't my CD, I think I'd probably buy about a million copies and 
listen to them all. (And fear not, Mr. Nick, there is not a 
single goofy NS-esque song on the disk. In real life, I hate 
funny songs. I really do.) I thought I'd share that.

Oh yeah, and by the way, everybody, on a non-promotional note, I 
thought Friday's show was really good. It was, in fact, my 
favorite No Shame of all time. The previous week's was awful, but 
this one made up for it. The crowd was good, and there wasn't a 
single piece that made me want to, well, not go to No Shame 
anymore. Good job all, I love you best. Neil, you're a funny son 
of a bitch.

Goodbye.

Buy my album.

Time: Mon, 13-Sep-1999 23:10:22 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.158


Buy my album.

Jamal. I love the album. I've listened to it numerous times and it justs gets better. Wow! How'd
you do that? Everybody should pick it up. Yay! That's all the time I have for ass-kissing! So I'm
done!   

!!!!!

:

:

Time: Wed, 15-Sep-1999 04:45:38 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

You love when I explain what you did wrong. That is why I review 
the show from Friday, September 10, 1999. What the framptaba 
fuck, man? I'm all for minimalism or whatever, but sometimes you 
can't just fake an off-stage area, and where are the stupid 
curtains, anyway?

1) John Hague - "The Recesses of Theater B"
This was history's best Hague piece.  Kudos (the kids 
say "props" now a days, so if you're from the street, like me, 
substitute "props" for "kudos") for actually using the space.  
However, there's no goddamn way you can do this at Best Of, 
John, so there! Sucker!

2) Jamal River - "Mose Hayward's Dead Lung"
I always thought this song was called "Magnus," but maybe I'm 
just living a lie.  I know Mose Hayward himself prefers the live-
Jamal accoustic version to the album, so this would have blown 
him away and made him cry for mercy like a child being beaten 
with a copy of Jamal's album.  Mose is a total stink though, and 
you should buy the CD.  It's better than the new Puff Daddy.  
And I'm really into Puff Daddy, so you know I have no ulterior 
motives in saying that.

3) Chris Okiishi - "Sweet Relief"
Hooray for the funny actors.  Hooray for jokes, especially ones 
that compare babies to vomiting.  Why do people always complain 
about having a baby? If you hate it so much, why don't you just 
smash it?  It's not like you have to have a baby.  You do have 
to poop, though. I mean it. Right now, you have to poop.

3.5) Bill Bungeroth - "Persona"
Not as good as Ingmar Bergman's "Persona," but better than Woody 
Allen's real-life persona.  No Shame doesn't usually require a 
lot of naturalistic acting and over-the-top hollering in the 
same piece (nor does it usually require actors to memorize their 
lines, which I've never seen Mr. Brooks do, and he handled it 
like a pro, which I guess shouldn't be surprising since he's a 
theater student and all).  Maybe you made it too good, hombre.

4) Neil "Balls" Campbell - "Inside a Big Black Shaft"
Campbell is too much comedy for me.  I can't even think about 
him.  His acting style is like a kick in the neck!  It's just 
too magic the way he acts fey and maniacal at the same time, 
yelling and being furious and weird for no reason.  And his 
writing is fabaloo because it's concise, and most of the jokes 
are like "how about I give you two dollars to slobber my 
johnson?"  It's not really a "joke," it's just unnecessary and 
weird and that is more fun than anything.

5) Aprille Clarke - "Is there a Doctor in the House, or Are You 
Just Happy to See Me?"
A sketch? With a premise and a story and everything? Never heard 
of it!  At least it had dirty sex jokes.  Yay Aaron Galbraith 
and his acting, which often makes me forget he's even looking at 
a script.

6) Nick Clark - "No Shame Coup D'etat or A Victory Clutched in 
the Snatch of Defeat"
Jamal pointed out to me yesterday that there isn't really a huge 
fart joke contingent at No Shame_ pretty much just two people.  
History's best Nick Clark piece.  Also his best performance.  He 
tends to be a stronger writer than actor- I had trouble staying 
with his "Alvin Marley" from last season, but when it was 
performed by Bill McGuinness in another venue, it was wonderful- 
but he just-plain needs to talk more loud.

7) Kyle "I oddly doubt my own talent" Lange - An Untitled Song
I demand more songs from everybody.  It's 1 million times harder 
to play a song in front of people than to do a penis-joke skit, 
and the more singing that goes on, the less nervous these lovely 
chaps will be with their guitars and lalalas and all.

8) Luke Pingel - "Two Horny Boys Go to Church"
I like when someone takes a weak, feeble target, like the Pope, 
and does unnecessarily mean things with it_ like make it have 
sex with Mike Cassady!  Other merit of being short.  Aprille 
should remind people that Greer doesn't have to be Every Woman, 
because the only two women in the world could at least trade off 
parts.

8.5) Mark Hansen - "In a Word: Minneapolis"
I could show this man's pieces to my mom.  I think Mark's one of 
NS's unsung heroes, because he's writing real-live jokes, and I 
dunno if you folks have tried that, but it's damn hard.  Mark 
does it every week, though (even the weeks he doesn't do a NS 
piece) means he must have one of those Comedy Brains, like the 
Marx brothers had, but nobody is born with anymore.  It's like 
Mark dropped out of the sky from 1937, when people were still 
funny.

9) Willie Barbour - "The Feast"
aka "Chris Stangl Was In The Restroom Peeing and Is Not In A 
Position To Judge." I saw the end, though, and it was moving.  I 
thought "That Darn Cat!" was moving, too, though, so make of 
that what you will.

10) Mike Rothschild - "It's Raining Patti LuPone or Three Odes"
History's best Rothschild piece.  I don't know from baseball, 
but everything else was 100% laughing-every-time-I-was-supposed-
to.

11) Mike "Lady Killer" Cassady - Women are like metaphors...
Neil Campbell was in this piece, and he is my lord and master.  
Also I like when skits have a monologue in the middle.  I just 
do.

12) Aaron Galbraith - That was a simile dickhead, not a metaphor
It's so admirable when the writer doesn't give himself the 
biggest, funniest part.  I just don't understand how you could 
do it. This is partly a complaint, because it's a joy to watch 
Galbraith physically cut loose in his performances, and he was 
entirely confined to chairs this night.

13) Chris Stangl - Judy Garland Is Dead, and Other Vicious Lies
I have been reprimanded/ punished for breaking every NS rule 
(except "must be original," which I have violated.  Once I stole 
a joke from "ALF"), but I have broken none so often as 5-
Minutes.  I should be soundly thrashed for this violation.And I 
blew 4 lines, a new record, for which I have already thrashed 
myself.  And WHAT, don't you LIKE fart jokes?!

14) Ezekiel Horak - "Gender-Relational Tension in the Bloody 
Bloody Brine or So I Married a Comedy Writer"
A nicely milked joke that maybe went on for one gag past its 
ideal conclusion (with Horak's extraction of the rubber chicken)
_ but maybe that's good, because it reminded me of the way the 
final joke in a Looney Tunes short is never funny, but that 
helps you remember the funny parts.

14.5) Sister Mary Katherine and Sister Sarah Katherine of the 
Carmelite Order - "The Discalimer for Dan's Piece"
I dunno if y'all have noticed it, but there's a lack of people 
doing actual characters come Friday nights, but here was actual 
character-based sketch-comedy.  It could've been so self-
referential that it gagged on its own reflexivity, but I think 
it actually deepened and heightened Dan's piece, and I will 
forever think of them as a symbiotic unit, for multiple reasons.

15) Danger Brooks - "The Hanging Poem"
1) I am glad Mr. Brooks did not hang himself.  It would have 
been gruesome to look at, what with his face turning maroon and 
forehead veins popping out and splattering the audience, and all.
2) I know that nobody does poems at No Shame, mostly because of 
certain people I could name_ such as, er, William Blake and 
Allen Ginsburgh_ but this was such a strong poem that I want to 
see it again, or consult the text, because I couldn't especially 
figure out why Dan wanted to distract from the piece with the 
hanging-gimmick.

This was history's best No Shame.  Do not try to live up to this 
evening's show.  Do not ever say "Hum, it was good, but not as 
good as the famous night of Sept 10, '99." No No Shame should 
have to stand up to such pressure.  This week will be better, in 
its own way, and damn it, I don't even expect you people to 
entertain me half as much, ever again.

Time: Wed, 15-Sep-1999 04:47:43 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

figure out why Dan wanted to distract from the piece with the 
hanging-gimmick.

This was history's best No Shame.  Do not try to live up to this 
evening's show.  Do not ever say "Hum, it was good, but not as 
good as the famous night of Sept 10, '99." No No Shame should 
have to stand up to such pressure.  This week will be better, in 
its own way, and damn it, I don't even expect you people to 
entertain me half as much, ever again, so don't try or there'll 
be a smacking.

          Love,
           Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Wed, 15-Sep-1999 16:09:50 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.7

Okay, point taken.  From now on all my work goes to other actors.  
This means I have to swallow my antisociallity and actually talk 
to the other folks in the lounge, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing 
to make.  It also means there will be a lot more nudity directed 
at very specific actors.  Then again, maybe I'll keep being in 
shit.  Who knows?  Not me, that's for sure.  Who wants to see more 
underpants?  Whose?

Time: Wed, 15-Sep-1999 18:25:22 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.116


:Jamal singing something other than some goofy NS type song

Jamal has written 250 not-funny songs, and, like 3 comedy 
songs, so it's kind of sad that the audience is always prepped for 
novelty songs as soon as they see a guitar at No Shame, because it 
causes them to giggle at any vague suggestion of levity in the 
song, and afterwards they're disappointed because it was good but 
not THAT funny, maybe not considering that it wasn't supposed to 
be "funny," just "good" and also the sentence ran-on for too long.

:5) Aprille Clarke's 911skit -
:I can't remember why he stabs her.

That was my favorite part of the piece, because suddenly the 
entire thing was cruel and black, and Rothschild's character, 
who'd I'd been ignoring as a straight-man beleagured-boyfriend 
throwaway type ended up being the key to the sketch.

:Chris, did you have to do extensive research on this piece, or 
:are you just a huge fan of WoO?

I am a huge fan of "Wizard of Oz," and names and approximate dates 
should be correct (eg- Garland really did play San Francisco in 
'63). The other historical facts were what we call "slanderous 
fabrications" (ie- "Wizard" and "Gone With The Wind" weren't in 
simultaneous production), and could be convincingly faked with a 
half-completed film studies major. I did research the ingrediants 
of whiskey sours, but ended up cutting the relevant bits.
Also, the glass I used is a cheap recreation of art deco glassware 
popular in the '20s/'30s, which I thought more convincing than my 
"E.T." Pizza Hut glasses, but was probably designed for orange 
juice, not liquor.
                       -Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Wed, 15-Sep-1999 19:55:32 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.104

:Jamal has written 250 not-funny songs, and, like 3 comedy 
:songs, so it's kind of sad that the audience is always prepped 
for 
:novelty songs as soon as they see a guitar at No Shame, because 
it 
:causes them to giggle at any vague suggestion of levity in the 
:song, and afterwards they're disappointed because it was good but 
:not THAT funny (etc)

So I apologize for approacing Jamal on stage with a guitar with 
the same attitude as every other sap in the audience, but I really 
did love the song, and thanks, Jamal for working as hard as you 
did, not that I know how hard that is but it had to be a mega-load 
of work no doubt to make the other twelve songs on your album 
which would be worth five times the price, so every man woman and 
child should buy five copies of it and listen to them 
simultaneously.  So that's my apology to Jamal.

My other apology goes to Al, who I told I figured would like "NS 
Coup D'etat" a lot.  He seemed offended.  I would like to assure 
him that I felt he would like it not because he secretly dreams of 
seeing me jump up and down in my underpants, but because I thought 
it resembled his piece from the 3rd; the title indicates it will 
be wholesome and non-offensive, yet, there's the blowjob table and 
the 'pizzaboy blows load'.  Keep up the good work, Al.

Time: Sun, 19-Sep-1999 00:24:29 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

I actually like Jamal's acoustic and want an album of that, too, 
or at least a tape.  But the CD rocks.  Which I know because I 
couldn't wait to buy it Friday like I said, so I bought it 
downtown.

How was the show last night?  Yet again I miss.

-Adam

Time: Sun, 19-Sep-1999 08:56:48 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.58

okay, so at the welcome back, arlen party, held at Crhis and Jamal's house this saturday, the 18th
of september, let's see... I was there, brad was there, kelli was there, aprille and elton were there,
and al angel were there, not to mention alyssa's firend steph, who I just mentioned, so whatever.
Where the hell were the rest of you?!? It was the kick-assingest party ever! At the end we were all
singing and stuff. It rocked!!!!! You shoulda been there. Thats all I can say for your sorry asses.

Time: Sun, 19-Sep-1999 17:04:21 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

You don't have any idea how much I wanted to come to the welcome
:back Arlen party.  I had even intended to bake a pie and bring alkyhall and
everything.  But then I wound up having to work for twelve hours and I got much too
exhausted to even go to the store to buy pie stuff.  I hate missing out on a
great time.  Especially if a sing-along is the culminative event.
Alas

Time: Sun, 19-Sep-1999 20:03:23 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

AAAUUUGH!

I HATE when I forget cool stuff is going to happen and I miss it.

Time: Sun, 19-Sep-1999 20:21:40 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.168

So sorry to have missed the party!!  I was home with a tummy-
ache...  That's TWICE I've missed a Stengl/River party due to 
illness!  Hmmm...

Time: Mon, 20-Sep-1999 00:39:55 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.34

For some reason it takes the world a lot longer to give the order 
to the web page than to isca, so I pirated it for you guys.  Here 
'tis
1) Eastern Parade by Chris Okiishi (James and Chris reveal 
secrets of Asianity.)
2) Religious Satire #413 or Jesus of Nazareth Files for 
Unemployment by Mike Cassady (JC -- not Luxton, the other one -- 
goes to the unemployment office.)
3) Blow Job Sketch #4: %th in the Series by Al Angel (Al says 
"Fuck" 28 times
4) Conversation: The Morning After by Willie Barbour
(Four college lushes speak enigmatically about the nights 
revelry.)
5) Shave and a Haricut, Two Bites by Aprille Clarke (Aprille and 
her hairdresser discuss the sociological encouragement of 
cannibalism.)
6) A Friendship So Deep by Balls Campbell (Neil can't decide if 
sexually molesting self-proclaimed neo-Nazis is wrong or not.)
7) The Worst Fourth of July Ever by Danger Brooks (Dan engages in 
more self-indulgenc-- I mean, brilliant dialectic.)
8) One Last Parody While My Feeble Brain Stalls for Time by James 
Erwin (James parodies me, no one notices because narrative is so 
good.)
9) Poetry Ain't My Thang, G, But I'm Gonna Try It Anyway, Aight? 
by John Hague. (John and his dark side recite a poem.)
10) The Menstruation Trick or Slapstick With Blood and Eggs by 
Chris Stangle.(Chris falls down a lot and examines psychosexual 
power dynamics.)
11) Lights! by Aaron Galbraith. (Lights go up, Aaron goes down. 
But not like that.)
11.5) A Beautiful Night by Havalah Backus (A poem about 
revisiting your youth.)
12) Mose Hayward Loves to Laugh by Jamal River (Jamal satirizes 
stand-up comedy.)
13) Yankees Win, Cubs Kill Yankees by Bill Bungeroth and Dan 
Brooks. (Dan and Bill are attacked by, and finally escape, their 
ex-girlfriends.)
14) General Hospital by Mark Hansen (A hospital in which nothing 
is specified.)
14.5) Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon In It by Nick Clark (A 
couple makes their waiter do everything. Everything.)
15) Crying in My Leinenkugel's or When Jewish Writers Attack by 
Mike Rothschild. (The little-known collaboration between Woody 
Allen and David
Mamet.)

Time: Mon, 20-Sep-1999 17:05:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.253

So here's my take on the night.
:1) Eastern Parade by Chris Okiishi; Fab, Funny, though I never 
thought of either James or Chris as "Asian" in the biblical sense, 
this still was extremely humorous.  I actually thought at first 
this skit was going to be about being pudgy and wearing glasses.
:2) Religious Satire #413; Funny stuff.  The whole post-
apocalyptic thing didn't bog down the humour at all, which 
surprised me.
:3) Blow Job Sketch #4 by Al Angel; would you believe this was my 
favorite piece of the night?  I thought being titled "Blowjob 
Sketch" and having the disclaimer at the beginning made the 
benign, and - on its own relatively unfunny newspaper sketch 
hilarious.  The fact that the 27 'fucks' we are warned against are 
handed to us completely without context makes the whole 'most 
offensive' deal absolutely ridiculous. 
4) Conversation:The Morning After by Willie Barbour; I sort of 
didn't get this.  I felt like I could have pretty much predicted 
all the dialogue from the title, and Willie's introduction, while 
probaly the most interesting part of the the skit, and a fabulous 
Rod Serling, was pretty unneccessary.
:5) Shave and a Haricut, Two Bites by Aprille Clarke; I loved this 
skit.  It was cute and charming and disgusting.  It also showed 
off Aprille's ability to do something so subtle I hadn't even 
noticed it in the 911 piece: she slowly works her way from one 
line of humor(here the hairdresser's lusty ponderings of her 
father, there the menstruation jokes) to a completely different 
vein without letting us know she's done so(cannibalism, 911/976).
6) A Friendship So Deep by Balls Campbell; This had everything a 
great No Shame sketch should have, and it had it in all the right 
places.  It provides the most conclusive evidence to date of my 
theory that Mark Hansen can be hilarious just by walking onstage.  
Also, who can compete with running around screaming "come here 
while I molest you"  to a kid who responds "O dear, he's after me 
bum!"
7) The Worst Fourth of July Ever by Danger Brooks; both pieces 
were great, though I thought the  Will Smith thing was a little 
too obvious, and I'm still not sure how the cab driver connects 
the two.  I think the two could have had a better connection if it 
weren't pointed out to us that they didn't connect.
8) One Last Parody While My Feeble Brain Stalls for Time by James 
Erwin; This stuff was hilarious.  It pisses me off that no one was 
laughing during the first part, which was the best of the three in 
my opinion, and probably represents the most work on Jimmy-James' 
part.  C'mon, you assholes, laugh when shit is funny!
9) Poetry Ain't My Thang, G, But I'm Gonna Try It Anyway, Aight? 
by John Hague; this was pretty funny, but after a while, it didn't 
really seem like what John was reading was at all poetic.  Maybe 
that was just the part of the joke that I didn't get.
10) The Menstruation Trick or Slapstick With Blood and Eggs by 
Chris Stangl; This piece saddens me because it was so obvious that 
Chris wrote a hilarious script, and everything just kept going 
wrong, and Chris seemed to be getting really frustrated, and it 
was downright painful.  What say this one goes to BONS just so we 
can give Chris a deserved second chance at proving how hilarious 
this should have been?
11) Lights! by Aaron Galbraith; I say this was fantastic.  
Theatrical and fun, and probably its tha kind of thing which will 
wind up in BONS. 
11.5) A Beautiful Night by Havalah Backus; I really lost interest 
in this poem.  No offense, Havalah, but I did.  I think it was too 
serious to follow the physicallity of 'Lights!'.
12) Mose Hayward Loves to Laugh by Jamal River; I thought this was 
great for the same reason that Al's piece was great - you expect 
it to be something it's not.  It was funny because there weren't 
any jokes.
13) Yankees Win, Cubs Kill Yankees by Bill Bungeroth and Dan 
Brooks. This was a little dissapointing to be honest, considering 
Bill and Dan's piece last week.  I think the ex-girlfriend thing 
dragged on just a little too long.  And, while I understand that 
was the point_  Was that Roschild doing the Stephen Hawking voice?  
It was a lot funnier than a realistic Stephen Hawking voice would 
have been.
14) General Hospital by Mark Hansen; This was pretty funny, though 
I lost track of things at several points, which was probably 
exactly what Mark intended.
14.5) Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon In It by Grizzly Nick 
Clark; So, thank god for actors who aren't me, huh?  Hansen, as I 
have said is consistently hilarious onstage and Aprille is great 
as well.  Also Aprille's surname is practically the same as mine; 
hey Aprille, we're practically married! Maybe their efficacy was 
marred by my writing and moronic stage presence, but, live with 
it.  This piece is a recent revision (significant shortening) of 
one I wrote four years ago - as a NS piece before i'd even seen 
NS.  I will bake a pie of your choice for the first person who 
figures out the meaning of the title.
15) Crying in My Leinenkugel's or When Jewish Writers Attack by 
Mike Rothschild. I thought the idea of an Allen/ Mamet 
collaboration showed a lot more promise than I saw here.  I don't 
know how I could have made it funnier, and mostly I'm just nit-
picking because i'm bored. so there.

Time: Tue, 21-Sep-1999 22:23:47 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.127

I thought that it was another good show last Friday. I was 
expecting to be disappointed, seeing as how the week before was 
the best show ever and all, but I was pleasantly surprised. 
Hooray. I don't feel like doing a skit-by-skit breakdown, so 
everybody just assume that your piece was one I liked... Even 
though it might not have been.

River

Time: Thu, 23-Sep-1999 19:01:47 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.39

There is Nothing Here!   A review of and the 9/27/99 show, by 
Rev. Chris Stangl

Announcements)  "The Order Once Again" is now just an excuse for 
everyone to stomp and yell, right?  Also 2 points to Greer who 
doesn't swipe anybody else's announcement style.  Minus three 
points for everybody, because Havalah's the only one of you who 
doesn't do a piece like every week.  I'm sick of you!  I want to 
see some toddlers doing pieces.  Well_ babies would probably do 
pieces like "Here's a delicious send up of some mashed bananas I 
had the other day," so maybe not.  One million points off Theater 
B for no curtains.

1) "Eastern Parade" by Chris Okiishi
I like to see the race card being pushed at `Shame, because it's 
way edgier than the penis-joke card.  Also the "Phantom Menace" 
Bashing card.  This all could have been crueler, of course, but I 
suppose that's not the Okiishi style.

2) "Religious Satire #413" by Mike Cassady
1- Static, seated dialogue skits are fine, so long as they're 
funny.
2- This was funny.
3- Not as funny as "It would be great, if it weren't for the 
agonizing cramps in my dick." 1.2 points for Cassady writing an 
entirely different Jesus character than last time.

3) "Blow Job Sketch #4" by Al Angel
I personally admire that Press Citizen commercial.  It makes me 
laugh.  10 points for shortness.

4) "Conversation: The Morning After" by Willie Barbour
Probably it didn't matter, because I was entertained anyway, but 
either the unrehearsed actors or the dialogue made the unfolding 
"story" totally incomprehensible.  While this is funny, it's 
bound to frustrate the audience.  That is funny in itself.

5) "Shave and a Haricut, Two Bites" by Aprille Clarke
This was, at least, better than the last cannibalism sketch I saw 
(namely Sucharsky's "Cannibal").  At most Okiishi is a great cold 
reader, and bonus points for not including any obvious 
cunnilingus metaphors in the roster of gastronomic sex slang.  
Clarke's fixation on male homosexuality- but not on extensive 
sodomy jokes- makes another appearance, and adds unity to her 
body of work (recall, if you will "Misinterpretation of Religious 
Symbolism" which visits similar territory but in different 
pajamas).

6) "A Friendship So Deep" by Balls Campbell
Winner Best Piece.  I humbly request that Neil be allowed to do 
12 pieces per show and also be king of a small Scandinavian 
country.

7) "The Worst Fourth of July Ever" by Danger Brooks
I think sometimes people either struggle too hard to find the 
links between Brooks' fragments, or aren't willing to make the 
mental effort at all.

8) "One Last Parody While My Feeble Brain Stalls for Time" by 
James Erwin
Except that instead of just a parody, James constructs not just a 
startlingly dead-on unexaggerated mid-period Brooks piece, but 
something brilliant and moving totally independent of Brooks' 
trademarked framework and themes.  Probably my favorite thing 
that I didn't write or that Neil didn't write, except for when 
Jamal said "Don't go to SLEEP!".

9) "Poetry Ain't My Thang, G," by John Hague
One joke pieces are like having sex with corpses.  Fun, but you 
need to do your thing and get out of there as fast as possible 
before the Oakland Cemetery security patrol swings around.

10) "The Menstruation Trick or Slapstick With Blood and Eggs" by 
Chris Stangl
Performance tip: it's okay to write intricate physical pieces, 
but if you're me, you should probably rehearse them for more than 
an hour beforehand.  Note to self: audience still hates fart 
jokes.

11) "Lights!" by Aaron Galbraith
Sometimes I try to think of something clever and theatrical, but 
I give up, because Aaron is just smarter and better than 
everybody.

11.5) "A Beautiful Night" by Havalah Backus
Whenever Havalah is on stage, I think to myself "How would this 
piece be different if it were being read by Jim "Mr. Magoo/ 
Thurston Howell III" Backus?"  The answer is: it wouldn't make 
any sense, but it would be funnier.

12) "Mose Hayward Loves to Laugh" by Jamal River
"Don't go to sleep!"  This was fueled by an obvious genuine 
contempt for stand up comedy.  Also for people.  I bet a lot of 
people want Jamal to do a song next week. But I think we can all 
agree that one of his patented "Poop" sketches would be even 
better.  How I love those skits.

13) "Yankees Win, Cubs Kill Yankees" by Bill Bungeroth and Dan 
Brooks
Bungeroth is so good at constructing plausibly half-assed-but-
passably-funny pieces ("Reasons why Chicago is Better than New 
York") to interrupt with his real material, that he fools me 
every time.  I hope Dan is purged, but if he needs to do it 
again, I'll be happy to watch.
Please note that the biggest excrement-eating joke didn't come 
from me ("Everybody in New York likes to eat_ shit").

14) "General Hospital" by Mark Hansen
"A play_ on words."  Oh that's rich.  But there was insufficient 
laughing, despite much fine comedy. I suspect because the 
performances were mostly quiet and unprepared_ which is 
unfortunate, but pretty much a reality one must face given the 
nature of NS.  Timing isn't everything, because good material 
saved this piece.  I think the audience was winding down by this 
point.  The hell with them!

14.5) "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon In It" by Nick Clark
I was personally disturbed that I could hear myself laughing much 
louder than everyone else, and also the way Mark mimed vomiting 
without making the traditional repulsive "Blargh, I'm vomiting!" 
sound, honored in story and song.

15) "Crying in My Leinenkugel's" by Mike Rothschild
Mamet writes a lot of swears and Woody Allen writes a lot of 
whining_ These are really only stereotypical, entry-level 
complaints, and doesn't get at the real problems of either 
writer.  This isn't particularly helped by Rothschild's not even 
being as whiny or irritating as the real Allen.  Yay for Funny 
Brad, who should be in more, uh, things.

Yay everyone for not stinking it up after last week, which was 
history's finest show. Ever.  In any medium.

Time: Fri, 24-Sep-1999 22:08:55 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.4


:4) "Conversation: The Morning After" by Willie 
Barbour
:Probably it didn't matter, because I was 
entertained anyway, but 
:either the unrehearsed actors or the dialogue made 
the unfolding 
:"story" totally incomprehensible.  While this is 
funny, it's 
:bound to frustrate the audience.  That is funny in 
itself.

Actually, now that I've already talked about every 
piece ad nauseum, I think what made this piece 
really funny was Mary Fons' inimitable ability to 
slouch awkwardly.  Cause other than that it was 
pretty incomprehensible.  Not that slouching 
awkwardly is especially comprehensible either.

By the way, the pie offer still stands - and no 
one's even ventured a guess.  What, you don't like 
pie!?  I will bake a consolation pie for the first 
guess remotely close to what I had in mind.

Time: Sat, 25-Sep-1999 18:34:07 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

The order, grabbed from ISCA, as posted by Dan.

Sep 25, 1999 12:41 from Dan
The order, chilluns.
1) Mose Hayward Age a Bug by Jamal River
2) A Ranger's Tail by Sarah Greer
3) My Name Is Sexy by Balls Campbell
3.5) Mimicry is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (Pt. 1 of 3)): 
The Ascendence of the Emperor Testicle by Luscious Horak
4) Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Cum by Aprille Clarke
5) My Life So Far by Mary Morgan
6) Over the River and Through the Woods by Chris Okiishi
7) Life, Everything in It, and the Ramifications Thereof: A Brief 
Monologue by Danger Brooks
8) Variations of a Moment by Kyle Lange
8.5) Mimicry is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (Pt. 2 of Your 
Mom): Terrible Lies and Buns of Steel by Crazypants Horak
9) Artifice and Orifice or I Don't Care What He Tells You, Chris 
Stangl is Not a Licensed Gynecologist by Chris Stangl
10) Santa Claus is a Prick, Pt. I by Nick Clark
11) Frantic and Bitter Lonely Ramblings Interrupted to the Point 
of Incoherency (with Apologies to Dan Brooks) by Adam Hahn
12) That's Pronounced "Gal-Bruth" You Cocksucker by Aaron 
Galbraith
12.5) Mimicry Is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (Pt 3 of Pi): It 
Was the Best of Times, It Was the Bratwurst of Times by Jesus 
Cantalope Horak del Cantabria
13) Your Local Forecast or If You Like ISCA, You'll Love This 
Sketch by Mike Cassady
14) Five Poems, a Tube, and the Women Who Love Them by Mike 
Rothschild
15) A Song by Ben Schmidt
The most fire-coderous No Shame ever!

Time: Sat, 25-Sep-1999 23:28:26 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.213


:
1) Mose Hayward Age a Bug by Jamal River

No he didn't. He ate one.

Time: Sun, 26-Sep-1999 20:15:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Adittionalllly, my nicknames never seem to find their way into the orders.  Things like "Grizzly
Nick C." and "Nick Clark and the Lebanese Wheels of Soul" deserve to be preserved.
:
:
:

:

:

Time: Tue, 28-Sep-1999 18:26:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.4

Well, I thought this show was every bit as good as the Sept. 10th show, though probably no
better.  I loved every single piece, so this skit by skit review is just a waste of time.  Enjoy.







1) Mose Hayward Age a Bug by Jamal River - Despite Jamal and Arlen's apprehension aboput
this being the opener, I thought it was a perfect start to the evening. I think Jamal is peculiarly
suited to writing great opening pieces.

2) A Ranger's Tail by Sarah Greer - I was of course most gratified to see someone else using
bears as a source of humor.  Greer's ranger was so perfectly in tune with what you'd expect a
forest ranger to be.  She cracked up a cou[ple times which, while maybe weakening the character,
made the piece a lot more fun to watch.

3) My Name Is Sexy by Balls Campbell - More simple brilliance from Balls.

3.5) Mimicry is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (Pt. 1 of 3))

The Ascendence of the Emperor Testicle by Luscious Horak - I thought this was a great
inclusion.  The titles are fab and the running gag did not get tedious.

4) Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Cum by Aprille Clarke - I love skits which combine music and
action, besides which, this was really funny.  Note - pirates and bears=big laughs.  Pirates or bears
as male ejaculate=pants peeing laughs.

5) My Life So Far by Mary Morgan - I can't say what it is that I liked about this peice, but I liked
it.  So there you go.

6) Over the River and Through the Woods by Chris Okiishi - Now this was just way too good to
be onstage the same evening as my piece.  Though I personally hate oral sex while driving and
find Okiishi's mention of it a little perplexing.

7) Life, Everything in It, and the Ramifications Thereof: A Brief 

Monologue by Danger Brooks - The most disturbing monologue I have ever seen at NS.  Why? 
Something about gouging out one's own teeth with a screwdriver is much more disgusting than
the thought of a pile of burning fetuses. Leave it to Dan to pick up on that little idiosycrasy.

8) Variations of a Moment by Kyle Lange - I liked this a lot because the shoe falling from the
(grid/ catwalk?) made the sense of repetition larger than the words or the space of the stage.  A
brilliant touch, but why do Dan and Kyle never seem to notice it?

8.5) Mimicry is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (Pt. 2 of Your 

Mom): Terrible Lies and Buns of Steel by Crazypants Horak - etc.

9) Artifice and Orifice or I Don't Care What He Tells You, Chris 

Stangl is Not a Licensed Gynecologist by Chris Stangl - This was, in my opinion a fab discourse
on the nature of the act of creating art.  The technical problems with slicing open what wasn't his
hand notwithstanding, this was mega-swell.

10) Santa Claus is a Prick, Pt. I by Nick Clark - Parts II, III and IV may help to clarify what some
felt was a slightly befuddling sketch.

11) Frantic and Bitter Lonely Ramblings Interrupted to the Point 

of Incoherency (with Apologies to Dan Brooks) by Adam Hahn - This was actually very funny,
though I think much of the humor came from hearing Danger's answers to what the guy had
intended as rhetorical questions.  If he comes back, though, we'll know he's full of crap, so it was
kind of a self defeating piece.  Also, I'm still not convinced the guy really knows what a queef is.

12) That's Pronounced "Gal-Bruth" You Cocksucker by Aaron 

Galbraith - More brilliance.  Quit being so brilliant, cocksucker.

12.5) Mimicry Is the Most Sincere Form of Parody (Pt 3 of Pi): It 

Was the Best of Times, It Was the Bratwurst of Times by Jesus 

Cantalope Horak del Cantabria - Of course this had to be the best of the three, simply because it
was third.

13) Your Local Forecast or If You Like ISCA, You'll Love This 

Sketch by Mike Cassady - I really liked this sketch and, even though I barely know Mike Cassady
at all (or perhaps because) I felt like his personality was really gleaming through in all its wacky
exubberance.

14) Five Poems, a Tube, and the Women Who Love Them by Mike 

Rothschild - Rothschild's poems - two of them so far this semester (or eight if you're from the old
country) are also mega-fab.  I've liked them immensely and his skits only peripherally this
semester.

15) A Song by Ben Schmidt - A brilliant end to the evening.  In addition to being funny and all
about oral sex, it really sounded great.

Time: Wed, 29-Sep-1999 22:27:25 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.128

 Why is it that only Nick, Chris and I ever post anything on this 
page? Hmm? 
    I, too, thought it was a good night. A bit grisly, though: I 
had to plug my ears during Dan's tooth piece, and if I hadn't 
known Chris wasn't really cutting himself I probably would have 
fainted. I wonder why people weren't more disturbed by that. They 
were like, "Gee, that's unsettling," but no one was all "Eech! 
He's cutting open his hand!" 
    Oop, now I have to go, so perhaps I'll finish my review at a 
later time.  

Time: Wed, 29-Sep-1999 23:30:25 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.124

Hey! I post stuff here. And indirectly, I post more stuff here, 
cause the ISCA discussions are stored here too. 

I liked this show. Not many standout pieces for me, though 
Brooks' monologue and the Okiishi/Burton piece were easily my 
favorites. 

And frankly, Jamal, I didn't make the 'euch!' noise at the hand 
sawing because I was so horrified that I could not speak. Much as 
I would have been had Dan Brooks actually pretended to remove his 
own teeth rather than read a monologue about it. Or if Aprille 
had actually brought up giant sperm and killed them rather than 
doing a skit about dying sperm.

James "I Have No Nickname" Erwin

Time: Thu, 30-Sep-1999 15:44:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.221


:
:James "I Have No Nickname" Erwin
:
Jimmy-James has no nickname.

still, there needs to be more folks sayin' stuff here.
Nichola$ ›lark

Time: Thu, 30-Sep-1999 19:09:37 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.167

Mang, transfering posts from ISCA is cheating. ...But where are 
they? I didn't know the ISCA chat was put on here. I'd rather 
look at it here than on ISCA. ISCA hurts my eyeballs.

riverrrr

Time: Thu, 30-Sep-1999 19:19:00 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.167

OK, I found the ISCA posts. They were all at least 5 months old. 
Mang.

-Spongy Shite.