Time: Mon, 01-Nov-1999 02:10:43 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.236

Well, Nick, I know the connection between the title and the 
script.  I know exactly what's going on, just as I'm sure that 
many of you out there don't.  But I don't care.  The original 
question was, WHY does bear s----a have chunks of salmon in it?  
Why?  This, THIS is the question I've been yearning to learn the 
answer for.  So tell me.  And maybe I'll drop you a clue (unless 
you already know, buddy) as to what the fuck the connection is.

Albert Alewishus Alex Albeit Angel

Time: Mon, 01-Nov-1999 18:14:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.6

   In my silent but very real bout with Nick's question, the only 
picture that came into my head that was even plausible was one of 
bears having oral sex.
   It's a fun picture, I think.

                Arlen

Time: Mon, 01-Nov-1999 18:27:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.115

:Well, the script to "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon in it" is 
:finally posted

    Does it concern S.M. Hansen's character's vomiting due to 
eating from a honey bear filled with salmon-chunk-laiden smegma? I 
hope so, but that's still a nasty-arse way for me to have earned a 
pie.
                Rindo-
                   Chris Sta N. Gl

Time: Mon, 01-Nov-1999 21:15:24 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.161

 Nice to 
:hear something other than a song. Not that I don't like songs, 
but 
:I don't like songs every day.

What "every day"? I've only done two songs this whole season and 
they were like 5 shows apart! 

-River.

P.S. I do like to hear songs every day. In fact, I like to hear 
more than one. Sometimes, I like to put a CD in a CD player and 
listen to it. To me, it is a good time.

Time: Mon, 01-Nov-1999 21:59:12 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.83


I really wouldn't mine Jamal songs everyday.  Maybe that was a 
Freudian slip...?

Some thoughts:  I thought Chris Stengl's monologue was amazing, 
and, in a terrific year, my favorite so far.  And it affords me 
the opportunity for a word about memorizing--I like it when 
players memorize their scripts if and only if they actually get 
the words right.  Having spent a few nights in the booth, I can 
attest that there is little quite so sad as a finely crafted 
script done in by botched memory.  Yes, there are times when 
paraphrasing, or just getting the gist of a line will do.  Chris' 
monologue this week, with it's semi-period text and exacting word 
choice is NOT one of these times!  Thus, it was wise to read.  
That said, in the past he and Jamal have done suprisingly word 
for word memeory work on some intricate stuff.  Never-the-less, a 
well actualized read script is better than the grandest foiled 
intention.  

I also enjoyed Dan's manic-Brett Decker, highly excellent 
monologue.  It's so nice when Dan gives us a fully realized 
character and then runs with it, ever just ahead of us, so that 
we're not lost, but his next turn is unexpeted anyway.  Nice work.

Okay, so I guess I should address the gay thing, thought I pretty 
much agree with Adam.  One little anecdote--I was watching a 
piece in which a character did something nefarious, then was 
punished by being sodomized.  A regular to my left mentioned, 
"Ooo.  That's just wrong!"  To which I replied, "Yeah.  Why 
reward a guy for being bad."  

Here's my point--being gay is funny.  Being straight is funny.  
Sex is funny, or it can be.  Just be funny, or not, but have a 
point of view.  Worrying about offending people is really to miss 
the point.  Instead, try to say something, or turn something 
upside-down.  Or better yet, turn someONE upside-down.  

That's enough.  People are filling up the waiting room...

Time: Mon, 01-Nov-1999 22:22:01 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.83


Oh, and the more said about Mark Hansen, the better.  So.  Mark, 
you're really swell, and your piece was my favorite piece of the 
evening, hands down.  Close seconds--huge parts of Jamal's and 
Balls' were really brilliant, and Aprille's third nipple exchange 
made me gleeful.  Also, Al's closing image was terrific, 
reminicient, down to the skull-fuck reference, of Dan's "What is 
and is not funny/offensive at No Shame" piece from last 
semester.  I did miss Kyle's flailing head while beign sodomized, 
though...

Oh, and Ben Schmidt can sing all he wants to, but I'd be even 
happier for another mind blowing sketch.  (Same to you, James.  
Just don't sing.)

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 00:11:50 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.231

::Well, the script to "Bear Smegma has Chunks of Salmon in it" is 
::finally posted

    Does it concern S.M. Hansen's character's vomiting due to 
eating from a honey bear filled with salmon-chunk-laiden smegma? 


Yes, Chris, it certainly does.  Damn it, now that everyone knows 
and I have no information with which to elicit answers or (well, 
you know what), no one will bother to tell me WHY the freaking 
salmon chunks are there.

Please do not bake s----a into anybody's pie, Nick.  Thanks a 
bunch-o.

--Al Angel, Doctor of Phnomegraticsepfretology.

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 00:24:51 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.231

Also, Al's closing image was terrific, 
reminicient, down to the skull-fuck reference, of Dan's "What is 
and is not funny/offensive at No Shame" piece from last 
semester.  


Huh?  I never in my life have heard Dan say the words "skull" and 
"fuck" in the same sentence.  Not to say that he never has, but I 
have bo clue as to what you're refering to.  I learned about skull 
fucking through a)Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket, by which I got a 
vaugue understanding, and b)a lecture (more correctly a 
blathering, simple minded, raging, fascist [no, I'm not joking] 
rant) by Andrea Dworkin a while back.  She filled me in on all of 
the details, most of which were unnecesary (sp?) to a basic 
understanding, and all of which were traumatizingly disgusting.

Your A-Hole (as in Al, get it?  Get it?  Fuck you, then).

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 02:41:52 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.222

To be sure, I like songs. And I like songs by Jamal. Just that 
everytime I've seen Jamal recently, I've thought "song". Not that 
it's a bad thing, or a good thing, but it's a thing. And I have a 
thing too. It goes pee pee.

mike

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 06:17:57 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

::
b)a lecture (more correctly a 
:
blathering, simple minded, raging, fascist [no, I'm not joking] 
:
rant) by Andrea Dworkin a while back.  She filled me in on all of 
:
the details, most of which were unnecesary (sp?) to a basic 
:
understanding, and all of which were traumatizingly disgusting.
:

Not to intrude on the lively debate, but I must interject here 
and say that Andrea Dworkin is (in my opinion) a twat!
   Thank you for your time.
       K.Anson Lane

P.S.  I apologize to any feminist that may visit this forum, but 
Andrea Dworkin is a radical and a lunatic (er... In my opinion)

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 06:23:29 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.174


Al--I'm sorry if I implied you lifted your sketch from Dan--that 
was not my object.  Just both of you had pieces that aimed at 
filling the stage with startlingly viscious/jarring images, one 
of which was skull fucking.  Great minds think alike, even at No 
Shame.

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 19:21:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

The Pie contest has drawn to a close.  I don't know who won, though.
Al got the right answer, but he credits Balls with giving it to him.
Also, Chris, James and Chris all guessed with the unfair disadvantage
of not being able to refer to the script.  The only solution I can
think of is to have a party sometime where I bake a bunch of pies and everybody
comes and eats them.

Probably right before thanksgiving break.

Pielove,


                                                     Nick-Bob Clark

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 19:26:08 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

For those of you who are still curious, the title alludes to the skit's
one bear reference - the honeybear I gave to Mark.  The idea was that
the bear was not full of honey but of salmonny chunky smegma, and that's
what made Mark puke!

Time: Tue, 02-Nov-1999 23:35:36 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.179


:For those of you who are still curious, the title alludes to the skit's
one bear reference - the honeybear I gave to Mark.  The idea was that
the bear was not full of honey but of salmonny chunky smegma, and that's
what made Mark puke!

I thought that honey smelled funny! Imagine that!

Time: Wed, 03-Nov-1999 01:06:01 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.200

:being gay is funny.  Being straight is funny.  

    Being bi is double funny.

    Go team.

:Sex is funny, or it can be.  Just be funny, or not, but have a 
:point of view.

    I think this is the problem with a goodly amount of NS's 
"offensive" sex humor: it consists mainly of describing sex acts 
in vulgar ways, but without any situational/character/word play 
motivated reason.  I don't think sex is inherently funny.  Sex 
jokes a funny when they're about pain or humiliation, 
embarassment, obsession, incompetance, fear, hostility, greed, 
boorishness, selfishness, defeat, foolishness- you know, all the 
things that ARE inherently funny.  My problem with, er, certain 
pieces of last Friday was that the gross-outs were standing in 
for any deeper wit.
    Shock humor- and it's impossible to really shock a NS 
audience- is only valuable to the extent that you can use it FOR 
something. Brooks seems to have developed a theory of brutal 
language- where the universe of his theater is violent and 
horrible because our daily world is even worse, and entertainment 
and art are how we cope.
    I try (note: TRY) to use the Shock as spark-points for my 
Important ideas, and to ask audiences to consider their own 
masochistic entertainment impulses- a world 
ridiculously sadistic to the point of nonchalant absurdity.  
   Balls is constructing a twilight-reality where naive, 
childlike vulgarity exists alongside and as reaction to the 
casual grossness of pop sophistication and is everyone's natural 
state (Jamal pointed this out: I love that he usually plays a 
character that's Neil Campbell, but everyone else is playing 
monsters or parents, and that Dan Brooks is Neil's Dad or Cassady 
the Kaiser... but Balls is Balls... is never questioned).
   It's not difficult to just be disgusting... I've seen monkeys 
throw handfulls of their own feces at the zoo with about as high 
a success rate as some of the clumsier gross-out NS pieces I've 
seen.
                       -Dr. Stangl-love or How I Stopped Worrying 
And Learned To Love Chris Stangl

Time: Wed, 03-Nov-1999 17:50:02 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120



Every night before I go to bed, I ask myself--why is Chris Stengl 
so much more articulate and smart than I?  Why do I have thoughts 
that only he can express so well?  Tonight again will be another 
sleepless night, I fear, for he has done it again.  

Thanks Chris for once again distilling a point to its logical 
essence.  

And sorry to exclude the bisexuals.  A retroactive "Rah".

Time: Wed, 03-Nov-1999 20:50:09 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.239

   It's not difficult to just be disgusting...


Very good points made Stangl's post, but if he is supposed to be 
so goddamn articulate, why the hell did he split an infinitive?

--Al the Abominable

Time: Wed, 03-Nov-1999 21:45:52 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120


:Very good points made Stangl's post, but if he is supposed to be 
:so goddamn articulate, why the hell did he split an infinitive?
:
:--Al the Abominable
:


Which begs the question--is it better to split infinitives or to 
split hairs?  

;)  

Time: Wed, 03-Nov-1999 22:44:43 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.176

I forgot this when I posted my review, but it suddenly popped 
into my head after breakfast this morning:
     That part of "Part II" about the shoes- the white shoes 
asking "What would Jesus Do?", the brown shoes that he didn't pay 
for- I loved 

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 14:56:27 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 15:56:08 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.4

Much less quiet

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 18:57:25 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

:1 (completely unrelated): Go check out www.mcsweeneys.net.

     On a more related note, www.mcsweeneys.com
      It totally kicks you in the uvula.  It is my favorite 
internet site.  You will want to check it every day.
               -Chris Chris Chris Chris Humbert Chris

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 19:42:29 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117

                       You Should Be Ashamed!
         C. M. Stangl and the Big Broadcast of '39 With Their 
All-Singing Review of 10/29/1999

ANNOUNCEMENTS) Audience not loud enough. Energy stirred up by 
the Announcements is the most crucial moment of the show.  Bad 
announcements, and performers are crippled for the rest of the 
night.  Funniest thing: Dan Brooks says "He's cute and has a 
lightning bolt for a tail!"

1) River- "Mose Hayward is a Yellow Fellow"
      A highlight. Title was Class A superawesome.  Best parts 
were River-idiosyncratic, like the horrible Kate Bush/ Tori Amos 
joke and "Smacky"'s hostile reactions to innocent small-talk.  
Otherwise, a little NS-mainstream to me, what with "I found an 
extra testicle."  Neilball was delectable in an Academy level 
performance.  Hedge ball was sticky.

2) Clarke- " We've Got Your Family's Values in Sight"
      Anybody else think it was weird that Cassady was 
playing "Mike Cassady," but everyone else was a "character"_ 
even though "Mike Cassady" apparently sits under the Econofoods 
counter and reads econocards out loud?  Such weirdness (and 
Rothschild's switching character repeatedly by exhausting 
configurations of his blazer) was generally fresher than jokes 
about lactating superfluous nipples.

3) Lange- "Who Wrote This Shit?"
      Better self-parody/ quick encapsulation than usual, 
because it was 20 seconds short, funny, and I get sick of people 
talking about their own writing on stage.

4) Harman- "The Spaces Between Words"
      "A list is not a song." -Critic Robert Christgau on "We 
Didn't Start the Fire."  I do think a list can be a song, this 
just wasn't a very insightful or cleverly arranged list that I 
could tell.  I don't care if you have got Millenium Fever, keep 
it in your shorts.

5) The Egg-lady- "I'm `Monkey-Huge' on You"
     No sir.  Full-house bluff of a start (have laughed at 
the DI joke every day since) led to pair-of-twos self-NS-
reflection that, when your body of NS work spans 4 pieces and 
two are a monologue about NS, and another about your own NS 
work, seemed more masturbatory than insightful.  I'm bothered by 
monologues with nothing physical, nothing spatial, and which 
might as well be on paper.

6) Hansen- "Six Angry Sketches"
     That laughing-sketch? I was supposed to keep laughing, 
but stage direction was on next page, and I screwed it totally 
up.  When I banged my face on the table?  Saw purple and white 
flash and felt cold for the rest of the night!  So perfect I 
wished I was in the audience so I could laugh louder.

7) Brooks- "Brett Deckers: Highly Excellent"
      a) When you get a certain level of Good, people at NS stop 
paying attention.  "Oh, Brooks did another character monologue, 
and it was his best monologue, but he's always the best, and has 
been for 29 years, and also the best of the night, but I have 
nothing to say about it."  To hell with that.  Why are 
performers turning in squalid, poor work being discussed far 
more than writers doing sophisticated work, who deserve 
attention?
      b) This was gorgeous and horrifying.  In case you haven't 
noticed, Brooks is developing some theory of the powers of 
ferocious language and careful pressure-point jabbing of 
remaining taboos.  Why this was amazing beyond obviously funny 
jokes and unwavering character performance: The corporate 
business world's dehumanizing greed is an easy, easy, tired 
target (see Deeley's piece), but here it's attacked from unusual 
angles.  I was especially floored by casting the Type A male as 
some kind of fascist-executive uberman.  Like being jabbed in 
the retina with a yellow power tie. Bonus points for no poignant 
redemption at the end.

8) Lawson- "Son of Night Raid"
       Seen this joke a hundred times, my favorite being Jamal's 
monologue for Arlen- "I'm going to beat you all down."  Funny 
this time, because Arlen and Aaron are welcome performers, but_ 
a short good time is a short good time. Though the joint 
contained a homo/oral sex joke it was fleeting, ignored, and 
redeemed by "What a horrible way to end a sketch!," which is a 
great way to end a sketch. Discomfort=comedy.

9) Rothschild- "Eat This Fat Monologue"
       First foul-description-of-sex-acts piece of the night to 
grate on my nerves.  Variously droning and pandering.  Would've 
improved tenfold had Mike actually written a sketch calling Carl 
The Audience Me "Shitface."

10) Horak/ Zielinski- "A Robust Sky Blue Something"
      Slow, slow performance which should've gone twice as 
fast.  Perfectly good framework idea not exploited very 
voraciously.  That means the jokes died.

11) Campbell- "Things That Go Hump in the Night"
       This was the coolest.  Balls' sketches are just packed to 
the gills with the best fishguts ever.  I can think of very few 
skits in history with as much diamond-cut perfect stuff- Lurkey 
the gay monster with pantaloons on his head; "Mashed potatoes to 
you!" as the worst insult fathomable in the middle of a sketch 
about "tube-suckers"_ and the punchline, oh the punchline!
Yes, I'm trying to get Balls to go out with me.

12) Dan Hall- "Part II"
     I don't understand these, and I can't concentrate on 
them. Unlike the rest of the audience, who seems to be 
considering this their own problem, I insist this is not my 
shortcoming, but the writer's.  Maybe I don't "get" this 
partially because I don't know Russian literature, but mostly 
because it hasn't been compelling enough to make me care.

13) Galbraith- "A Sonnet"
      Didn't notice this was a sonnet.  Props for bothering, 
since sonnets are hard to write.  I hate funny poems, and that 
IS my problem.  I'm just never terribly amused that words 
rhyme.  Even for a funny poem... I can recall two Galbraith 
funny poems that I DID like, but this was just a short, 
(inoffensive) homophobic joke but not at the service of 
rendering a character I could discern.  However, Gordon Shumway 
stole the show.

14) Stangl- "Invisible Woman, Visible Uterus"
      Awful dime-store "Irish" accent learned from Chief O'Hara 
from "Batman."  "Swiss (roll)" is actual slang for 
butthole.  "Gee" (hard "g"!) is slang for female genitalia.  
Deirdre Fitzpatrick is a newscaster in Des Moines.  Now you know.

14.5) Okiishi- "Rub-A-Dub-Dub"
     Okiishi's autobiographical monologues are also prose 
heavy, and don't use the space much.  But.  However.  BUT.  I 
don't think they work on paper quite so well.  That's why 
they're No Shame pieces.  These rely entirely on Chris' 
delivery, and on paper or delivered by someone else the bad 
patches would be Dave-Barry-cute-anecdotes and the dirty jokes 
would be smarmy instead of endearing, because these pieces are 
as much about Okiishi Charm as the stories.

15) Cassady/ Galbraith- "An Ode to Mom"
     I have no idea, since I spent the piece running in a 
circle with a mob.  Beatings are funny.

16) Angel- "Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children"
     (See separate comments)

17) Deeley- "Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the 
Christian Coalition"
     I was gape-jawed.  Beyond flat-out thefts (from "Jane, 
you ignorant slut!" to Kent Brockman "And that kitten played 
with the ball of string_ ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT", to the killer 
bunny rabbit_ am I the only one who doesn't even think it was 
very funny when Python did it?) absolutely piss-poor excuse for 
sociopolitical satire.  "My name is Johnny Brainless"?  Whup, 
the Gap is bad and malls are bad and frat boys are stupid and I 
know that, but why?, and how?, and I get no sense that Deeley 
has any idea why Newt Gingrich is Bad, just that he's a 
Republican.  Didn't succeed as social comment AND fell apart 
within its fictive anarchic-comedy world: The evening news is 
agenda-setting, right?  Then why are they reporting in graphic 
detail on the apocalypse?  Preach to the converted if you must, 
but at least have some good jokes and free snacks.

18) Schmidt- "A Song"
      I want to go home!  However_ yay Gwen and Mr. Schmidt for 
their

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 19:45:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117


16) Angel- "Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children"
     (see separate comments)

17) Deeley- "Gun-Toting Corporate-Clad Clowns from Hell vs. the 
Christian Coalition"
     I was gape-jawed.  Beyond flat-out thefts (from "Jane, 
you ignorant slut!" to Kent Brockman "And that kitten played with 
the ball of string_ ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT", to the killer bunny 
rabbit_ am I the only one who doesn't even think it was very 
funny when Python did it?) absolutely piss-poor excuse for 
sociopolitical satire.  "My name is Johnny Brainless"?  Whup, the 
Gap is bad and malls are bad and frat boys are stupid and I know 
that, but why?, and how?, and I get no sense that Deeley has any 
idea why Newt Gingrich is Bad, just that he's a Republican.  
Didn't succeed as social comment AND fell apart within its 
fictive anarchic-comedy world: The evening news is agenda-
setting, right?  Then why are they reporting in graphic detail on 
the apocalypse?  Preach to the converted if you must, but at 
least have some good jokes and free snacks.

18) Schmidt- "A Song"
I want to go home!  However_ yay Gwen and Mr. Schmidt for their 
combined efforts to not end the show on a hideously repulsive or 
incompetent note.  This "A Song" has been played before, but if 5 
minutes of blow jobs counts as "original," so does a fab song. 
Even if it's not the kind of song I usually like.  The lyrics, I 
presume, are supposed to be romantic, but creep me out.

VILLAGE INN) Garden Skillet cold when I got it.  Coffee average.  
Neither improves mood.

EVERYBODY'S REVIEWS) If you "have nothing to say," or "don't know 
why I couldn't get into this," then don't say anything.  "Liked 
this, didn't like this"?  SO?! WHY? HOW?  JESUS!

               -Your Best Girl,
               Chris Stangl

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 19:50:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117


      SPECIAL LONG REVIEW FOR AL WHO IS ONLY GETTING "IT WAS 
GROSS" AS "CRITICISM" IF HIS PIECE, AND WHO HAS BEGUN CURSING AT 
INNOCENT PEOPLE LIKE EGGERS IN RESPONSE TO THESE EVENTS.
                    by C. M. "Stengl" Stangl

16) Angel- "Fifteen Reasons Why I Hate Little Children"
     
      "The problem with discussing obscenity is that everyone 
pretends to be more offended or less offended than they actually 
are."
               -Salvador Dal¨

     "At least I didn't turn out to be a raging homosexual...!"
                       -"C. Thomas" in "15 Reasons"

     I'm a big fan of John Waters.  The funniest thing I have 
ever seen in a movie, in my entire life, is a scene in John 
Waters' film "Multiple Maniacs," in which Divine is led to a 
Catholic church by a vision of the Infant of Prague, and is 
sodomized with a crucifix while Mink Stole recites the Stations 
of the Cross and the miracle of loaves and fishes is reenacted 
with Wonder Bread and canned tuna.  The scene is about the church 
and its institutions of sexual guilt and sadomsochistic 
iconography and its about upheaving bourgeoisie morals.  It's 
gross.
     I go out of my way to tell you this, because "Fifteen 
Reasons" was also gross, even for a No Shame shock-humor sketch.  
Gross and I vehemently didn't like it.
      It's true that No Shame audiences generally dislikes 
performers who go out of their way to be antagonistic (ie. me for 
1 semester, witness the violent reaction to Egg Hahn's first [and 
inoffensive] piece).  I have no problem with assaultive 
performers.  I think part of Monty Python's magic is that they're 
physically big and intimidating, and smart, and generally 
unendearing- you don't empathize with them, unlike most American 
comic-persona traditions (from Chaplin to Jim Carrey).  See, you 
only complain about how Andy Kaufman treats the audience when 
you're in the audience.  I'm not disturbed that Al is trying to 
disturb anyone.  In fact, I think Al would do well to develop 
this dialogue of hatred as a part of his persona.  But there has 
to be something for the audience to grab onto- Kaufman got booed 
by audiences because he was tearing their reality up, and Lenny 
Bruce was arrested for telling the truth.
       So.  I am a big fan of all sorts of intentionally and 
genuinely offensive writing, from Burroughs to Bruce, Crumb to 
Califia, Voltaire to Brooks to the Sex Pistols.  This particular 
piece was homophobic, sexist, racist.  I don't say that 
casually.  I don't mean "15 Reasons" contained jokes or dramatic 
situations concerning race, sex and sexuality which were tools 
for Al to discuss larger issues (you know: that way that well 
meaning book burners call "Huck Finn" "racist," or that someone 
could be unnerved by the "misogyny" of Brooks' "Language of 
Brutality").  I mean "Fifteen Reasons" is full of racist, 
homophobic, sexist language and images, but that material is not 
oriented towards commenting on those topics satirically or in any 
other useful, insightful or clever way that I could detect.  So, 
while I'm ideologically opposed to the piece, I still think it 
was extraordinarily weak writing:
         I'm a tough cookie to gross out, and nearly impossible 
to shock.  Clearly these were chief projects of "15 Reasons," so 
its failure to shock meant I needed something else to grab for, 
and came up empty-handed.  Particularly Al's bent towards sex 
jokes relying exclusively on vulgar, body-objectifying and 
hostile explicit descriptions of male dominated sex acts is 
wearying (and banal, after multiple 5 minute sketches_ partially 
the Point, to be sure, but mostly just boring).  They're too 
close to genuine porn-prose out of Penthouse Forum to be 
hyperbolic satire, and Al has specifically voiced objections to 
these sections being read as any larger swipe at patriarchal/ 
hetero body politics, soooo...  This just makes Angel's closest 
comedy-relative Andrew "Dice" Clay, whose work, on cursory 
reading, could possibly be construed as vicious send-up of 
aggressive hetero male sexual culture, but with the performer's 
prolonged sustain on that one shrill note, increasing evidence 
that we're not looking at a "character" but a writer's genuine 
comedic sensibility_ We're no longer looking at a character 
designed to explore the dark heart of American patriarchal 
society, we're just looking at a particularly vile chunk of it_ 
and it's sitting in our laps.
         To address Al's specifically stated concerns: "Gross" 
most certainly is valid criticism, it's just not very deep 
criticism.  It's more like popular review: "reviews," 
not "analysis".  Like Roger Ebert, not Cahiers du Cinema.  Like 
Little Debbie, not Julia Child.  What Al's complaining about, I 
assume, is "I know this is `gross,' that's the point, but how 
does my gross work succeed on its own terms of being gross?"  I 
dunno about anybody else, but when I tell Al "15 Reasons" 
was "gross," I mean "It's gross at expense of being anything but 
gross."  See above for why I don't think it's even successful 
gross comedy.  Not to second-guess a writer, or decide his 
interests and themes for him, but perhaps if more of Al's efforts 
were focused on something other than gross-out humor consisting 
mostly of graphic, intentionally unpleasant ways of describing 
sex acts, his work would spark more fruitful criticism.  And if 
you're going to write child molestation jokes, don't pretend you 
don't understand when the audience cringes, and do expect to be 
taken to task.
      Not to vilify Al as What's Wrong With America- "15 Reasons" 
offends me for pretty much the same reasons as the average US 
sitcom: I'm not disappointed when Icarus' wings melt and he falls 
into the sun, I'm disappointed when he decides to sit at home and 
watch "MTV Undressed" instead of flying at all.  I'm offended 
when you don't even attempt to excel.

           Friends to the End,
              Chris and Stangl.

Time: Fri, 05-Nov-1999 20:21:55 GMT     IP: 128.255.60.117


:why is Chris Stengl so much more... smart than I?

      Um... yeah, that's why I'm a licensed MD and Okiishi's 
getting a D in "Television Aesthetics."
                     -Chris St-a-ngl

Time: Sat, 06-Nov-1999 10:12:00 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.240

:
:      SPECIAL LONG REVIEW FOR AL WHO IS ONLY GETTING "IT WAS 
:GROSS" AS "CRITICISM" IF HIS PIECE, AND WHO HAS BEGUN CURSING AT 
:INNOCENT PEOPLE LIKE EGGERS IN RESPONSE TO THESE EVENTS.
:                    by C. M. "Stengl" Stangl

     What did I get from this?  That I am a vile (as described and 
brutaly pointed toward in the paragraph previous to the statement 
in which stangl tries, and fails to dismiss the hostility of this 
point); that I am, as a writer and, thus (aparently: see Dice 
paragraph) as a person, gross; and that I am a horrible writer.  
Also, that my "theme" of what I shall paraphrase as "brutal sex 
comedy" is growing tired.
       To take on the first two accusations:  I'm vile?  I'm a 
gross person?  Maybe I'm reducing this point too much, but these 
simple statements don't make a fucking ounce of sense.  In 
reference to whether or not I am a part of What's Wrong in 
America, simply talking about horrible/disgusting acts is not the 
same as doing them.  I do not consider myself a vile person when i 
take into consideration the fact that I make jokes about child 
molestation (gee, not unlike certain other NS folks named chris 
stangl), while other people do it.  I do not do anything that 
greatly breaks the general American view of morality; a few minor 
infractions here and there, certainly (such as making fun of those 
crazy cripples), but nothing major, like rape.  Fuck you for even 
vaguely insinuating such a thing.  To move on to the point that my 
vulgar writing (since it is such a recurring theme) reflects who I 
am a person: this is a load of shit.  Again, to refer to a certain 
stangl's previous work to make a point: given this formula, you 
are a fecalphiliac, simply because, for a long time, your work 
centered around poop jokes.  Shit lover.  And since when is a shit 
fetish more respectable than a general obsession with sex in all 
of its forms?  You are more vile than I.  And my closest comic 
relative is Dice?  Are you joking?  Jesus.  Despite your self 
proclaimed genius, you can be extremely unobservant.  Even in my 
most blatant moments, I am still a great many times more subtle 
than Andy Clay (subtlety is an issue I'll return to later).  By 
the way, I will buy a slice of any Village Inn pie (sorry to cut 
into your territory, Nick) for anyone that can guess my greatest 
comic influence/relative; excluding those that already know 
because I've had this discussion with you.
     My writing is weak.  Weak is bad.  My writing is bad.  I am a 
bad writer.  I've never seriously proclaimed myself to be so much 
as a good writer, but I know I'm not a bad one.  On any given NS 
night, however un-good my work may be, there will be others whose 
writing is worse than mine.  Out of ten, I may only be a four, but 
I'm certainly not a one or a zero.  So fuck you again.
     My sex "theme" is tired.  Sex jokes have flourished long 
before I was born and will continue to long after I'm dead.  An 
who the fuck are you to say that?  I hate to keep coming back to 
this, but so were the shit jokes.  And you can't fall on back on 
saying that once you realized the theme was tired you retired it, 
because that is in no way true.  You are the master of killing a 
joke, so much so, in fact, that I was driven away from NS for a 
long time simply because of you and Jamal.  I didn't want to be in 
an environment where I'd have to sit through that same unfunny 
joke over and over and over again in the same night.  Yeah, I 
know, what if my stuff's doing the same to someone else?  My work 
has a long long way to go before hitting the chris/Jamal level of 
sheer tiredness.  At least there is some variety in my presontaion 
of my "theme."
     What was that shit about pretending not to know what's going 
on when the audience cringes at a child molestation joke?  I know 
that what I wrote was gross, and I fully understand the cringing, 
where and when it happened.  But, let's be clear here.  Nobody I 
talked to cringed during that segment of my work.  Many people's 
favorite part was when you fucked a little boy in the ass.  If 
you're going to write a pretentious essay, at least get your 
fucking shit together.
     And while we're on it.  I didn't find my work that 
disgusting.  It was to a degree, to be sure, but it did not 
deserve the onslaught of revulsion it got.  Somehow a penis with 
pepermint flavor is not as disgusting to me as eating shit.  In 
terms of pure gross-out factor, nothing is worse than eating shit. 
 No other bodily secretion/waste is as gross.  Everything but shit 
has some redeeming value (even piss).  Again, I am going to state 
that there was a great deal of subtlety in my text.  It was 
unfortunately overwhelmed by the other shit; a learning mistake.  
Everything I found truly funny, and there was a lot, about 15 
Reasons was not gross.  "I am a bishop" is one of the best lines 
you've ever heard, so live with it.  chris, take out your copy of 
the script and cross out everything that is even mildly 
disgusting.  See?  There's still a lot of stuff left, and that's 
what everybody missed, including you, oh super observant yet 
mysteriously ignorant one.  I fucked up, and I admit it, but fuck 
you--FUCK YOU--for trying to bring me down for it.  What is NS if 
not a place for writers to see what works and what doesn't?  You 
self-righteous (sp?) asshole!
     And bullshit--let me say it again: BULLSHIT--to the notion 
that you'd rather see Icarus die that watch "Undressed" (what did 
Jeff think of that, by the way?).  You don't give a shit.  Just 
recently, you, while holding your precious little copy of the 
order, scrawled "BOOOOOOOOOOO" all over someone's name two fucking 
sentences into his piece.  And that man was trying.  His wings 
melted, but he tried.  You hate what doesn't immediately appeal to 
you, regardless of why it doesn't.  Then you pump yourself up 
because you know why you didn't like it.  You know, but you just 
don't care.  You lying shit-loving motherfucker.

Fuck you, die, and writhe painfully as you suffer in Hell,
--Al, the cute, cuddly teddy bear

Time: Sat, 06-Nov-1999 19:15:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

Pretty good show last night, huh?  It started strong, got a little weak toward the end maybe, but
overall basically pretty damn good.  Standouts for me:  Mike Rothschild's short Dumb Magazine
bit--just the right way to handle a one-joke bit; funny, swift, and didn't get bogged down.  Also,
Arlen's one-eyed monkey monologue, which he claims Mark wrote but I think he wrote.  It was
neither sniveling nor annoying nor too long, as pieces in that genre can be.  it was just good. 
good indeed.  while it was not my favorite that i've seen by them, the mike cassady/balls campbell
piece was quick, expertly delivered, and fun.  they musta practiced.  some low points:  the
anti-viagra bit--vulgar without sufficient funniness to make it worthwhile.  oh, and sorry about
screwing up that one serious piece about killing the lady; the table was soooo far upstage and it
was dark, blah blah blah, but i'm sure i screwed it up by unceremoniously diving onto the table.  it
was supposed to be cerem!
onious, i gather, but i wasn't
really digging the piece anyway.  Oh, another high point--Kehry Lane's exorcist thing.  I could
have done without the suburban mom character (not well developed enough to be interesting, and
the alternative names for father bit got dropped with a thud about six lines in).  Kehry was great,
though, as was the spewing of cards, and the Sheila body-switch was hilarious.  Hrm...sorry this is
so disorganized, but i don't have an order to work with, so i'm just trying to remember stuff. 
Adam Hahn's piece was mostly good--he's got a great stage presence, which is hard for me to
admit because I was all ready to hate him.  His delivery was great, but the chocolate barfing thing
at the end was gratuitous.  Note to Adam:  challenge yourself--the best part of your piece was
when you were being genuine instead of going for shock value.  I really did enjoy the first part of
the piece, though, if for delivery alone.  Okee...lemme think...Al's piece was funny, but it was
funny when Mark wrot!
e it last week too.  However, I
asked around, and it didn't seem to bother anyone else.  Maybe I'm missing the point entirely. 
Maybe it was a tribute, not a rip-off.  I dunno.  Funny anyway, though.  Oh, one more thing, in
reference to Adam Hahn:  it's tacky to be mean to someone onstage without his/her knowledge
and/or consent.  Kelli is my friend and it was mean of you to tell her to "sit her ass down" and
then interrupt her when she was just trying to get a little jab back at you.  Hm.  This sketchy
review seems more negative than I meant it to.  I really did enjoy the evening--certainly an
above-average night, I'd say.  Good work, writers/actors/audience members (good crowd last
night).

Time: Sat, 06-Nov-1999 23:08:42 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.178


  Also, Arlen's one-eyed monkey monologue, which he claims Mark wrote but I think he wrote. 

Okay, let me clear this up. I did write the one-eyed monkey monologue, seeing as how the
monkey (or if you want to get technical, ape) is mine, and Arlen did write the gun shop skit, as
the gun is Al's. Anyway, I hope that clears things up. Another thing: I had the weirdest dream
about No Shame last night. Neil was laying on the chairs, which were supposed to be a bath tub,
and I think Aprille played his mom. Then I came out and started talking, and Dan got up and fixed
something on the wall, and half the audience left, and came bakc and I was talking about how I
had gone to some Eastern country where they ate 28 meals a day, and it was the worst thing I had
ever written but afterwards everybody was complimenting me on it. 
I do not know what this means. 
Good show last night, but not great, let's hope the missing regular will come back next week.

Time: Sat, 06-Nov-1999 23:45:02 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.225

     Let's get something fucking straight.  Every creative work 
makes use of some format or genre.  For example, within the 
overarching principle that is rock music, many different formats 
are utilized by different artists, such as grunge.  This 
particular style was chosen  by such groups as Stone Temple 
Pilots, Pearl Jam, Nirvana as the medium through which these 
artists could best express themselves.  However, each group 
created something original.  When one examines the work, in purely 
musical terms (not tonal or stylistic terms) of, say, STP and 
Pearl Jam, this point becomes clear.  These groups did not copy 
each other or jump on a fucking bandwagon (contrary to David 
Spade's comments on this matter).  They both made good use of an 
available form, and used it do their own work.  You all see where 
I'm going with this.
     I, in no way, copied or emulated Mark Hansen for "Humility." 
 I had several jokes that I felt were best brought to life by the 
same format Mark used for "6 Angry Monologues."  This format, by 
the fucking way, was not invented by Mark.  I have seen it used 
many a time, even at NS, by a variety of different people.  To say 
that because two works share the same format, one is copying the 
other is just fucking stupid and is a shortcut to thinking.  Using 
the same bizzaro logic that ties my work to Mark's, you would just 
as easily say, "Hey, Chris Durang's 'Beyond Therapy' is good, but 
I liked it better when it was Sam Beckett's 'Waiting for Godot.'" 
 Wow!  Both are two act plays featuring dialogue between 
characters that can't communicate with each other!  One is 
obviously an almost exact copy of the other!  And since Sam's is 
older, Chris must have copied him!  Whaddya know!  This is lazy 
thinking and it serves no useful purpose.  If anybody cared enough 
to pay attention to either my piece or Mark's, then they would 
have seen that the jokes themselves were nothing alike.  I already 
know that now several of you are thinking, "But the book reading 
joke was the same as Jamal's ukulele playing."  I know this 
because I know how stupid many of you can be.  Here's the 
difference: Mark's gag centered on the lights going down (get it?) 
on Jamal.  Mine was simply the book reading itself; the "Hey, fuck 
you," was a character moment and not part of the joke itself.  In 
all honesty, the real joke was for my pleasure and not the 
audience's, because I'm a sadist and love pulling the "you think 
there's going to be a joke here, but there isn't" gag on people.  
I owe more to Andy Kaufman than Mark for my love and use of this 
humor.  However, my point still stands.  I did not write the same 
sketch as Mark by any logical stretch of the imagination; and not 
only do you disrespect and insult me by saying this, but you do 
the same to Mark.
     I suppose that I'm blowing this out of proportion, because I 
have only gotten this from a very few people; most understood and 
appreciated what was going on, and I respect that.  However, this 
is a very sensitive subject for me, and you hurt me personally 
when you say such things.  This is the second time this term that 
I've run into this problem.  The only difference is that the first 
time, I gave an originality disclaimer before I did the piece.  I 
am going to reprint this disclaimer now so that you can pretend I 
said it before I performed Friday and put you're troubled minds to 
rest.  Just replace the word "Dan" with the word "Mark."

Jelly beans and beer to you all,
the Adoring Al Angel

"It has come to my attention that there are a lot of fucking 
idiots in the No Shame audience.  Because of this fact, I now feel 
the need to inform you of something.  This piece is in no way 
related to a piece that Dan Brooks performed a few weeks ago.  I 
did not copy, steal from, imitate, emulate, or make parody of Dan. 
 This is my own work and has nothing to do with his.  If you think 
so, well then, FUCK YOU!"

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 00:04:24 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

:-Kehry Lane's exorcist thing.  I could have done without 
: the suburban mom character (not well developed enough to
: be interesting, and the alternative names for father bit 
: got dropped with a thud about six lines in). 

I must say that I agree fully with what you have to say...  It 
originally started with Chris (Sobbing, not Okishi, though I love 
him too!) and I joking around about a parody of the Exorcist.. 
But we had promised or friend (Robin is her name BTW) that we 
would write her a part in future work.  We did so hastily 
(Needless to say)  Which after you point it out, I realize that 
it was really marginalizing the female character of the skit.. 
(Well I guess I was supposed to be female as well)  I do have to 
say that I am sorry to do that, and I will try correct my error 
in future work.  Glad that you enjoyed it though...
  On another note, where's the order?!?! Dag nab it!  I want to 
try my hands at a review for once!

      K.Anson "cookie cookie" Lane

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 00:37:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

Okay, I've got approximately ten minutes to compose this, so it's
going to come out hasty like Tennessee Williams on his wedding
night. I've read the forum here for the first time in an 
embarassingly long three months or so, and I've seen two themes 
recur.
1) No Shame is too long.
2) No Shame is too vile.
Before I continue, let me bust a caveat. I am extremely happy 
with where No Shame is right now. Both in terms of overall 
quality and popular success, we are doing better than we have 
been in the four years I've been here. However, I am both a 
paranoiac and a compulsive, and I spend a lot of time thinking 
about how we can have a stronger, leaner, better show. And I've 
decided that the two biggest problems we face now are:
1) No Shame is too long.
2) No Shame is too vile.
Part three of my massive introduction is this: I think we are on 
a cusp. No Shame is riding a wave of just-stopped-being-new 
regulars. Galbraith, Cassady, Neil, Arlen and Al came in in the 
same class, roughly contiguous (I know Balls is a latecomer, but 
I think we can all agree he has amply made up for lost time) with 
a significant formal and artistic (sorry if I'm being 
presumptuous here, Chris) shift by Stangl and the emergence of 
Mark, Nick Clark and a lot of other people who I'm doubtless 
forgetting as major performers and writers. In short, there has 
been a changing of the guard. Guys like James, Chris, Adam and me 
are no longer the core constituency. This is a good and natural 
thing.
Here's my point: This is an excellent opportunity for us to 
recast No Shame in our own (and by "our" I think I mean "you 
guys'") image. We're strong right now, and we're unstable, and we 
have the capability to dictate the tone of the show for years to 
come. If we want to tweak things a little, now is the time. And I 
think we should. This is what I say we should do:
1) Make No Shame shorter. This is the simpler of my two 
propositions. Primarily, I need to stop being such a wuss and 
start holding the show to fifteen pieces no matter what. For your 
part, though, you guys need to be extra-careful not to a) beg me 
to let you in just this one time because this week's piece is 
Very Special and b) complain a lot when you don't get in. You 
always get in the next week. Always. Sorry to be didactic and 
bitchy, but I thought I should say this plainly.
2) Make No Shame less vile. This is karma for me. When I started 
doing No Shame, many people believed I was genuinely evil. If you 
comb the archives for the few pieces in there from my freshman 
year (I think there are at least a couple) I was pushing the 
envelope at the time. Probably tame by our standards now, but 
ugly back then. Anyway, people were always worrying that 
performers would emulate me and write pieces for shock value, 
because people love to worry. This didn't happen, in that nobody 
really cared to emulate me (smart them, but shock value took a 
definite stranglehold on the forum.
I have to go run lights. I have my own theories on how we can 
accomplish #2, and I will post them soon. Until then, come up 
with theories better than mine, and stick 'em up here.
To be continued, 
Dan

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 00:52:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.255


:Fuck you, die, and writhe painfully as you suffer in Hell,
:--Al, the cute, cuddly teddy bear


   Ummm...  Al, what the Hell?  Is it just my foggy memory, or did 
I just clip this below from a post you made earlier and which, if 
my understanding is correct, Stangl wrote his review, specially 
for you, in response to:

:Fuck you, Adam.  I'm open to criticism.  "It was gross" does not 
:count as cricism, and that's all I've been getting.  So fuck you.
:
:--Al, the ever-present Angel


   Also, (and I'm changing subjects here, no longer talking about 
Al) I would like to receive criticism, constructive or no.  Even 
if it's just I liked/I didn't like/What was it you did again?, 
make sure you let me hear it.  I want, am desperate for, any sense 
of how any joint goes over and I figure the more opinions I get 
the better.  If you can tell me why, then that's 
frosting/gravy/ice cream(on top of pie)/her orgasm.
   That said, maybe people in this forum aren't in the mood to 
hear a long string of likes/didn't likes, so maybe you could just 
E-mail me if you'd like... 'cause I'd like.
   Also, that whole "her orgasm" thing was just a joke.  I was 
just playing around.

                Arlen is my name.  Well 1/5 of my name, roughly 

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 01:04:01 GMT     IP: 24.9.192.139

Not to get to much off track here, but just to throw in a side 
note. If you are planning to be stern and the 15 piece limit 
(which I have no objection too) I think that the method by which 
pieces are submitted may need a little alteration.  My humble 
suggestion being that the No Shame writer's line up single file, 
vs mob formation.  This is of concern to me (and it probably 
seems like I'm whining) but I think the people there first should 
be assured first chance for submission.  Being a person who isn't 
a "regular", it's discouraging to fight through the sea of people 
shoving their scripts in the unfortunate board member's face.  
That's just me.. So the way I see it...

1) No Shame is too long
2) No Shame is too vile
           and
3) No Shame has no single file line.

     K.Anson Lane

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 02:56:09 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.208


:   Ummm...  Al, what the Hell?  Is it just my foggy memory, or 
did 
:I just clip this below from a post you made earlier and which, if 
:my understanding is correct, Stangl wrote his review, specially 
:for you, in response to:
:
::Fuck you, Adam.  I'm open to criticism.

Yeah, fuck you.  I am.  I read stangl's review, I digested it, 
thought about it, agreed with a few points, and happened to have 
disagreed with most of the other, stupid points.  Now you're just 
being a bitch, Arlen.

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 03:34:41 GMT     IP: 204.120.50.1

Al! Good Christ, Al!

Come on, here. This is getting really out of control.  "fuck you, 
you fucking fuck-fucker" is not the best way to ask for honest 
criticism.  It doesn't bring out the objective, supportive, 
helping side of people.  

Are you sincerely that upset?  Or are we all the butt of a 
Kaufmanesque joke here?  Cause I hate to say it, Al, but what 
you're saying right now is basically, "Fuck you for thinking 
different." And I can't get behind you on that.  

Some criticism is harsh.  Hell, I got withering, awful, heart-
stopping reviews on some of my pieces.  I wasn't that hurt.  I now 
realize that's because they were genuinely bad.  And frankly?  
That's show biz, Al.  That's life.  Don't get mad. Don't get even.  
Just get ahead. 

I refuse to even read any further discussion on this topic that 
contains the phrase "fuck you".  I think we've all heard enough of 
that precious little gem. 

James "Who Can Take The Sunshine" Erwin

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 03:54:42 GMT     IP: 152.175.211.160

My apologies for the delay in answering this question:

To include your No Shame scripts in the Web Library, all you gotta do is send them to
NoShTh@aol.com

There are any number of ways to send the scripts by email, by some formats work better than
others simply because I may not have the same word-processor program that you have or some
data may be lost in trasmission because of the evil AOL mail program that I use.


THE BEST way to send your scripts is..

     to save them as an .HTML or .TXT file attached to an email.

     OR, if you have a website of your own, UPLOAD the file onto your account and let me no the
URL address.

IF YOU KNOW HOW to set up web pages, you should definitely set it up and save it as html
simply because this allows you to set up your script exactly the way you want it.   (If not, I can
certainly format the pages myself, but it increases the likelihood that I will make some sort of
typo.)  And if you set it up yourself you can be sure that you will have the layout you like best. 
[Cuz I always just use a standard default template with a grey background, etc.]

IF YOU USE MICROSOFT WORD, OR WORDPERFECT, you can try sending scripts to me
that way, but it's still better if you SAVE AS text or ascii text.

One of the easiest ways to send scripts is to simply paste the script into the message of an EMAIL
addressed to NoShTh@aol.com.  Although, again, this increases the chances that I might make a
typo when I turn your email text into HTML text.


IMPORTANT:  Always send ONLY ONE script per email.  If you send me 2 or more files
attached to a single email, the evil AOL mooshes them together into a single MIM file, which it
then refuses to unmoosh.  So if you want to send 2 scripts on the same day, attach them to 2
separate emails.


Ummm...   I think that's everything you need to know.  If you have any other questions about
submitting scripts to the web library, you might also talk to some of your compatriots: Adam
Burton, James Erwin, Nick Clark, who have become quite good at it.


...Jeff

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 04:08:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.255

   So, probed by the comments Stangl made in his review, I was 
thinking 'bout the joint I did on the 29th.  And I was thinking 
to myself, "Sure, the Force-the-actor-to-say-lines joke has been 
done before, but I acknowledged that in the sketch when Aaron 
began, 'If this hasn't been done before, then...' and also, in my 
opinion, that joke wasn't the heart of the joint."
   And then I thought about my own review of the week before, of 
Horak's piece and how I had then sneered at that idea.  Could I 
have been wrong for sneering, then?
   No.  It was a used joke then and it was a used joke when I 
used it.
   So maybe I'm a hypocrite, I was thinking, and maybe it's just 
easier to see what's going on/going wrong in somebody else's 
writing.  And, after a train of thought that can be easily 
guessed, I came to a conclusion:  For your advice to be helpful 
to someone else, it has never been necessary to practice what you 
preach.  I have no idea how that saying, "practice what you 
preach" came to be.  The saying is stupid.  And so is telling 
somebody or yourself that you don't need to make any changes if 
he/she does the same thing.
   This post may or may not have had anything to do with recent 
posts.

    Arlen

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 04:39:51 GMT     IP: 152.175.211.160

One more thing...  
(I knew I was forgetting something)

*Credit Where Credit Is Due*

The performers are as much a part what makes No Shame No Shame as the writers, which is why
the footers in the script library credit the original cast.  So be sure to include in your email the
names of your actors  

(if you remember them)  

(if you're not too drunk to remember them)  

(ye bloody sot!)

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 05:05:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.4


   I'm discouraged and disturbed by the lack of female writers and 
performers... some times a 100 percent lack.  I know of no way to 
directly stimulate change in this area, though, making my 
proverbial "two bits" a useless counterfeit fake.

                          My Friend,
                          -Chris Stangl

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 06:23:41 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

:
:
   I'm discouraged and disturbed by the lack of female writers and 
:
performers... some times a 100 percent lack.  I know of no way to 
:
directly stimulate change in this area, though.
:
Well, yeah.  i have a few theories.  For one thing, almost nobody is good at No Shame writing
immediately (with the possible exception of we-know-who).  it takes time and practice to figure
out what works and what doesn't, blah blah blah.  Also, No Shame can be very intimidating in and
of itself, and the fact that it's almost all XY's doesn't help.  Therefore, if a new female writer
comes and her work doesn't go over so well (which it almost never does at first), it can be
REALLY HARD to get the ovarios to try again.
:     There's also the fact that there aren't a whole lot of good parts written for people at No
Shame--I'm as guilty of that as anyone; perhaps you've noticed that I almost never write good
parts for myself.  I'll work on it.  but anyway, when women are used as window dressing in
pieces, it's not a very inspiring situation.  There's also the fact that women's bodies tend to get
hooted at when they go onstage (no, i'm not referring to myself; that hasn't happened in a LONG
time, either because I've gotten uglier or because my reaction back then was rabid enough that
nobody wanted to try it again).  I'm more referring to the piece that Mary and Sarah did a few
weeks back.
      No Shame is simply not very female-friendly, and that can be a very difficult situation for a lot
of women to penetrate (hah!).  I agree with Kehry--maybe reducing the mob scene in the lounge
would help cut down on that vibe.  It's really rather barbaric.

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 06:29:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

Whoa, that got formatted weirdly.  Sorry.

Anyway, speaking of format--while I agree that using a similar format does not equal ripping off,
it just smelled that way, what with the two sketches happening on two consecutive weeks.  Also,
it was one of Mark's best sketches ever, I must say, and certainly the most memorable sketch of
the night (for me anyway).  Therefore, to see a sketch the following week that used a similar
format (particularly the book part--getting snuffed out just when something interesting was going
to happen) smelled of rip-offage.  It was funny, though.  Mr. Angel seems to have forgotten that I
specifically pointed out that I LIKED THE GODDAMN SKETCH.  I would also recommend that
he relax and remember that this is for fun.  Fun?

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 08:04:56 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.113

For those of you who are concerned about having your work posted 
online, it is still important that your work be preserved in some 
form for the record.  If for no other reason than because the web 
site really doesn't come to life when it's just a list of titles 
and authors.  A suggestion:  You could compose a brief synopsis 
of the piece, and perhaps even give an indcation of how the 
performance went (what worked, what didn't, what accidents 
happened, what serendipity made it better, whatever).  Otherwise 
years from now you may look back at the web site and be just as 
confused as everyone else when you see titles that just don't 
remind you what a piece was about, even though you wrote it.

I did the piece-by-piece synopsis of the show myself a few times, 
but for one person to encapsulate a whole night takes about as 
long as the show itself.  If you'd each just send your script for 
posting or compose and send a synopsis, well, that would simply 
kick ass for the web site.

And lastly, let me second the recommendation for including 
performer names.  This too helps jog the memory years later, and 
is a nod to the fact that No Shame goes through writer-centric 
and performer-centric phases.  Just because writers rule the day 
doesn't mean people won't wanna know what pieces that one 
performer was in at some point in the future.

-Adam B.

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 14:10:30 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25

Why is this still called the "NEW" no shame board room?  Doesn't make that much sense to me
seein' as how it's been mega-hopping for a mega-long time now.  My name is not really heather, $.

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 16:55:19 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.241

A good post, but I didn't want to read it twice.

Time: Sun, 07-Nov-1999 17:36:08 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.224

:Also, it was one of Mark's best sketches ever, I must say, and 
:certainly the most memorable sketch of the night.

Which brings up another point.  Mark's piece was better than mine, 
yet again proving that they are different.

:particularly the book part--getting snuffed out just when 
:something interesting was going to happen

Nothing was going to happen.  Ever.  It was an anti-joke joke.  
The only reason that it was so short and thus filled any 
expectations for something to happen (such as a blackout) was that 
I did not want to be lynched after the show.  I toyed with the 
idea of reading the book for four minutes, but I like not to be 
lynched (there's a reason I say "lynched," but I don't want to get 
into it now).  The blackout wasn't an event; it was the end of 
that segment.

--You know who, and *%@# you if you don't (since James doesn't 
like naughty language)

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 01:39:28 GMT     IP: 204.120.50.39

:A good post, but I didn't want to read it twice.

Nor I to post it twice.  One of those things.

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 03:27:17 GMT     IP: 152.163.205.73


Anyway, speaking of format--while I agree that using a similar format does not equal ripping off,
it just smelled that way, what with the two sketches happening on two consecutive weeks.  

You know what the truly weird thing about all this is? I thought that Six Angry Sketches would
seem like a rip-off of And Now, Ladies and Gentlemen.... by Arson Lawlen the week before. The
format was similar, but for some reason, nobody noticed this. 

P.S. Arlen, that fact in no way reflects the quality of the joint. I loved it so much, I bought the
company.

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 11:24:03 GMT     IP: 171.218.218.108


Okey dokey, please help reconstruct the order from this week.  Here's what we know so far:

#8   Adam Hahn - "Chris Stangl Should Like This Monologue Better Than Last Week's"

#?   Al Angel - "Humility"
#?   Nick Clark - "Arlen Lawson Plays 'Horp' In This Skit by Nick Clark"
#?   something by Mike Rothschild - (Mike Rothschild's short Dumb Magazine bit) 
#?   something by Mark Hansen - (Arlen's one-eyed monkey monologue) 
#?   something by Mike Cassady or Balls Campbell
#?   (the one serious piece about killing the lady; which Aprille screwed up by
unceremoniously diving onto the table) 
#?   Kehry Lane and Chris Sobbing - (the exorcist skit) 
#?   something by Arlen Lawson - (the gun shop skit) 
#?   something by Chris Stangl
#?   something by Dan Brooks - ("typical Dan piece") 

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 13:31:37 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.25




#1   Nick Clark - "Arlen Lawson Plays 'Horp' In This Skit by Nick Clark"

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 13:54:06 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.28

The Campbell/Cassady piece was their collaboration.

Shit, I told you the wrong thing. Mine was number ten, not number 
eight. (at least, I think so, I didn't write anything down this 
week)
#8 was "I Can Contribute Homophobic Innuendo Too!" by Nathan 
Bergom     (The anti-viagra skit, for those who were there)

Al Angel was #9
John Hague was in the order as #9.5, but Al was so confusing that 
I accidentally got up before him.


-Helpful(?) Hahn

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 15:14:00 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.60


Sorry Jeff to keep making your life a No Shame nussiance!!

I have the scripts and will post the order from them when I get 
home from work.  Sorry....

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 19:56:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.22

Actually, the order is up on the main homepage, it's not lost.

Time: Mon, 08-Nov-1999 23:28:19 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.214

:Actually, the order is up on the main homepage, it's not lost.


SIMPLETON! That order is incomplete, hence items like ") something 
by Mike Rothschild (Mike Rothschild's short Dumb Magazine bit)"

Time: Tue, 09-Nov-1999 22:57:35 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.0

   Or...  He could have noticed the date by the order link and 
drawn a perfectly reasonable assumption, after, first, I assume 
that he was not aware that the Jeff who made the post is, in 
fact, Jeff our Webmaster.

    But maybe I just try to rationalize before namecalling.

    Carl

Time: Wed, 10-Nov-1999 00:24:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.122

:
:SIMPLETON! That order is incomplete, hence items like ") 
something 

Sorry, I guess my time is taken up by things besides scouring the 
No Shame Website looking for nits to pick. Is scour too big a word 
for you? I didn't read the order before I posted. You can blow me 
any time you want.

m

Time: Wed, 10-Nov-1999 02:13:54 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.34

I don't know if this is entirely necessary at this point, if Okiishi is going to send the order tonight,
but my piece was number three, and it was called Possession. It's the Arlen monkey monologue.
'At's all I got. You gotta problem with that?

Time: Wed, 10-Nov-1999 15:40:34 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

The Order (sorry for the delay)

1.  Arlen Lawsen Plays Horp in This Skit by Nick Clark
2.  Donkeypunch by Mike Rothschild
3.  Possession by Markus Mal Mark Moe Hansen!
4.  Billy boy by Willie Barbour
5.  Whip it good.  Well?  Good.  Well, good.  By Aprille Clarke
6.  The Greatest Collaboration Since Van Gogh and Insanity by 
Mike "Cock" Cassady and Neil "Balls" Campbell
7.  Welcome to America by James D. Wolf, Jr.
8.  Chris Stangl Should Like This Monologue Better Than Last 
Week's by Adam Hahn
9.  Humility:  The Porn Chronicles, Part One By Al Angel
10. I can contribute homophobic innuendo too!  By Nathan Bergom
9.5. (NOTE: Due to some minor confusion, 9.5 was actually 
performed after 10, and, hence, this is reflected in the order.  
Jeff--If this is not Kosher, please feel free to correct)  
Things you shouldn't do while having sex.  By john "Don't use my 
real name, my parents are in town" hague
11. Long, Short, Shorter, Short by Matthew Schneider
12. By The Power of Hernia!  By Kehry Lane and Christafer Sobbing
13. I'm Sorry, Mr. Encyclopedia Brown, but I'm Afraid This 
Circumstantial Bullshit Just Won't Hold Up in a Court of Law by 
Arlen Lawson
14. About the Worms Or I Had a Cavity Filled...Then I Went to 
the Dentist by Chris Stangl
15. Eyelid Movies by David Harman
16. (exact title unknown, as Dan accidentally hung onto his 
booth copy) by Dan Brooks.

So, there you have it, and the order will be complete as soon as 
Dan submits the title of his piece, which was pretty long 
anyway, and I'm glad I don't have to type it...  ;)

Again, sorry for the delay.  Good show, every one!  And, if you 
have some extra cash, and a free evening, Aaron Galbraith and I 
have small but featured roles in City Circle's production 
of "Pippin" the next two weekends (my role is more small--
Aaron's is more featured, as, of course, you'd expect).  Call 
354-3006 for information/tickets.  Runs Friday-Sunday, Nov. 12-
14, then Thursday thru Saturday Nov. 18-20.  Warning--contains 
strong sexual content and adult themes, and lots of singing and 
dancing.    

Time: Wed, 10-Nov-1999 18:16:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.6

:1.  Arlen Lawson Plays Horp in This Skit by Nick Clark
So I appearently misspelled alen's surname half the places I wrote 
it.  This skit ruled because I got to watch almost all of it from 
the audience, then I got to sing the Oscar Meyer Weiner song, and 
whoever was in the light booth did a commendable job of making it 
appear as thopugh the lights were exploding, showering hot glass 
on us and what not.  The audience failed to die of scurvy, and 
that is unfair.
:2.  Donkeypunch by Mike Rothschild
Mike Rothschild is god for a minute in this genius of brevity.  If 
I were someone who liked to have sex with people, I'd like to have 
sex with mike rothschild i think.
:3.  Possession by Markus Mal Mark Moe Hansen!
No, wait, I'd like to have sex with Mark and Arlen.  A great big 
hooray to the both of you.  GREAT BIG HOORAY
:4.  Billy boy by Willie Barbour
Willie's most fun piece so far.  It was personal, but still funny.
:5.  Whip it good.  Well?  Good.  Well, good.  By Aprille Clarke
My favorite aprille clarke thing this semester.  Loved the clever 
inclusion of lines from 80's songs - a schtick within a schtick, 
one might say. "I come from a land down under"  hee hee.
:6.  The Greatest Collaboration Since Van Gogh and Insanity by 
:Mike "Cock" Cassady and Neil "Balls" Campbell
My favorite piece of the night.  I was laughing so hard that... 
something happened where I laugh hard.  Loved the 1940s voices and 
self satirical premise.
:7.  Welcome to America by James D. Wolf, Jr.
I didn't feel engaged by this one.  It wasn't very funny and 
didn't seem to say anything I haven't heard before.  Images of 
food did succeed in making me hungry, however.  Wolf made me 
appreciate V.I. much, much more.
:8.  Chris Stangl Should Like This Monologue Better Than Last 
:Week's by Adam Hahn
Funny, clever, would have been gross just seeing Adam eat all of 
those chocolates, and the spitting them out was clearly 
anticipatable (real word?).  Thought "You could have made a haiku 
by jumping a week ago." was the best line of the evening.  Also, 
the refference to Rev. Stangl in the title is way too misleading, 
as the monologue doesn't concern Chris at all.
:9.  Humility:  The Porn Chronicles, Part One By Al Angel
I loved it.  I have not seen Mark's thing which Al "ripped off" 
the format for this one from, but I feel regardless of format, 
this piece had enough to stand on its own as mega-swell.
:10. I can contribute homophobic innuendo too!  By Nathan Bergom
Is this the anti-viagra bit?  Either way, I will talk about that 
one now.  I thought it used too many people and too much time to 
tell a joke which wasn't that funny to begin with. That sounds 
more negative than I want to sound.  It was funny, I laughed.
:9.5.Things you shouldn't do while having sex.  By john "Don't use  
:my real name, my parents are in town" hague
Pretty funny.  I would have cut some of the less funny things were 
it my piece, but maybe john just has a different sense of humor 
than me and he thought it was all hilarious, so who am I to tell 
him how to run his life or his no shame piece or his sex or 
anything at all and maybe it wasn't even supposed to be that funny 
of a piece in the first place, did you ever think of that?
:11. Long, Short, Shorter, Short by Matthew Schneider
Don't recall.
:12. By The Power of Hernia!  By Kehry Lane and Christafer Sobbing
I loved this piece.  I read other peoples' criticisms and say "No.  
You are wrong.  Everything was good that you say is bad.  That is 
why I laughed at it."
:13. I'm Sorry, Mr. Encyclopedia Brown, but I'm Afraid This 
:Circumstantial Bullshit Just Won't Hold Up in a Court of Law by 
:Arlen Lawson
Arlen's piece is mega-fun whacky.  I just think that's a swell 
political gun control propaganda sketch but then it's mega-funny 
too, for gosh sakes.  Hooray for Arlen LawsOn whose surname I 
mispelled elsewhere.  Hooray for Arlen for being in my piece, 
without whom the title would have seemed dumb.
:14. About the Worms Or I Had a Cavity Filled...Then I Went to 
:the Dentist by Chris Stangl
Not as funny as most of Chris' pieces, but I got the feeling it 
wasn't s'posed t' be.  Also not as illustrative of personal/
universal truths.  Still worth seeing.  Short too.
:15. Eyelid Movies by David Harman
Thing is I have forgotten this piece too.
:16.  title unknown by Dan Brooks.  Hooray for dan whose piece 
this week I heard in class a long time ago.  Not a bad monologue 
at all, I say "right on" Dan.  A pie referrence is valuable to me.  
Not smegma pie, but number one pie.

Suggestions for pieces this week:
Each piece should contain singing and/or dancing, mention of or 
presence of food, character(s) who are either very old or very 
young, there should be a feeling of love in your sketch and people 
should be naked.

No real smegma on stage, no violent mocking of other NS performers 
without their consent, no live animals, no props unless they make 
noise, no people with noses, no jokes, no monologues unless they 
contain singing/dancing.

good luck.

Time: Fri, 12-Nov-1999 01:01:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.200

   So, I'm not posting a review this week.  Why?  Because, so 
far, everytime I've thought about doing one, I've gotten tired 
and, frankly, I'm sick of getting tired and tired.
   I thought the show was fun, though, I think, now nearly a week 
after the show.  It was marked, however, by a pronounced absence 
of Jamal, which was and remains to be lamentable.

                  Arlen

Time: Fri, 12-Nov-1999 02:03:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.4

Okay, so I've got thirty free seconds again. And I read your 
suggestions, and I think they're damned fine. Also, I happened to 
run into No Shame alum and general deep thinker JC Luxton 
the other night, and in the process of reminiscing about years 
past and filling him in on the way things are now (good, but in a 
different way than they were three years ago) I realized just how 
much everything has changed since I was a freshman. Way back 
when, of the fifteen pieces in a night, ten would usually be 
monologues. About half the regulars were women, and the dominant 
performers -- Megan Gogerty, Carolyn Jacobson, Cadry Nelson, Rob 
Frisch -- were, as you might have noticed, pretty much all 
uterine. Pieces were, generally speaking, more PG-13 than XXX. I 
said "sucking cock" and people flinched.
I'm not saying that was a better time than now. I like a forum 
that's a little more racy. Having a predominance of women is no 
better than having a predominance of men. But I do think that a 
middle ground between Then and Now would be a nice place for the 
pendulum to swing.
So what do we do, if this is where we want to go? This:
1) I'm biased toward monologues -- partly because that's the 
direction to which my language naturally tends, and partly 
because that's the environment I came up in. BUT, I think 
monologues inherently discourage gratuitous obscenity. One can 
write a _vile_ monologue, no problem. Witness _Young Jacob 
Schreck's Inheritance_ (I think it's in the archives). The thing 
is, in a monologue, you have to go somewhere with your "What are 
you doing, cum-slurper?" line. A monologue eliminates the 
possibility of the "one guy insults the other guy. Then the other 
guy insults the first guy. Then they have sex. That's the 
turnaround" model. When you write a monologue, you have to have 
something to say. It can't just be a bunch of vile stuff that 
happens; it has to be a bunch of vile stuff that happens for a 
reason.
I'm not saying that everyone should abandon sketches. Sketches 
are a terrific form and a vital part of the NS ecology. But I 
firmly believe that everyone should try their hand at writing a 
couple of monologues and see how it affects their style. It makes 
the forum leaner in the obscenity department without sanitizing 
it.
2) Try writing scenes instead of sketches. The key distinction 
here -- the thing that makes something a sketch rather than a 
comic scene -- is that the sketch exists only to be funny. The 
comic scene is funny, but there is other stuff going on as well. 
Anyone can make the NS audience laugh. Making them laugh at 
something new, or making them laugh at truthful characters, or 
making them laugh and think about something, or making them laugh 
and then cry -- that's a real accomplishment.
3) Did you know that you can do serious pieces at No Shame? It's 
true. Did you know it's virtually impossible to do a serious 
scene that makes jokes at the expense of gay men, or says 
"blowjob" fifty times for no reason? That's true, too.
4) And while we're on stuff that you may or may not know, did you 
know that you can do a piece that isn't a sketch, scene or 
monologue? Old veterans remember Naked Percussion, or bizarre JAB 
pieces like "[Japanese word I forgot] Pen No Geki." It's an empty 
stage. You can do anything you want. And the more people try to 
stretch the forum, the less they'll rely on useless obscenity to 
stun the audience. Think about your own writing. When are you the 
most obscene: when you're doing something new with your piece, or 
when you're writing something just to get in the order?
Comments?
--Dan

Time: Fri, 12-Nov-1999 07:04:06 GMT     IP: 152.163.232.47

Most people in the department are cowards. They are afraid of No 
SHame, afraid of exerting effort and afraid of looking a. like 
they care, b. stupid, c. like they have something to say. By 
doing No Shame, you automatically defeat that curse. You cast 
your lot with a scurvy bunch of overworked, overstressed, 
undersexed (in my case, at least) folks who do this because they 
are going to stand up and speak their peace in spite of the fact 
that they are afraid and they might look stupid.

That said, here are some things I've been thinking about re: NS.

When I got here as a freshman, I heard about No Shame, and 
thought this might be cool to do...I went to the first two shows 
my freshman year and was really turned off. It was cliquish (is 
that a word) and too serious, and I was seriously bored. I also 
knew my writing skill was nowhere near where I needed it to be, 
and I didn't want to look like an idiot up there. But it seemed 
less like theater and more like self therapy, which is theater at 
its worst.

Cut to two years later, my junior year. I hear there is a need 
for actors and writers from the department, and I say, what the 
hell, I'll do it...my first few pieces were not that good, but I 
got better, and settled into a nice groove, which I have done my 
best to fuck with this semester, doing poems and monologues 
instead of comedy sketches, and having a lot of fun doing it.

I think it's enevitable to compare this lot of NS to the "old 
days", and that's fine. But the old days turned me off to no 
shame. I watched pieces that I didn't get and that made me 
uncomfortable. Sure, a lot of stuff these days makes me feel the 
same way, but now I feel like I have a way to shoot back. The old 
names and old days really don't mean anything to me. I wasn't 
there. I'm here now though. So out with the old, in with the new.

To that point...some ideas/suggestions.

1. Something has to be done about the 10:30 lounge stampede. It 
sucks. I don't like having to get there at 10:00 just to get 
trampled on. Is there a way for people to medicate themselves and 
calm down? It's really not a good situation.

2. I think shock humor has its place in the humor pantheon, but 
what's the point of doing it if it has no value as far as the 
piece goes. Like Adam Hahn's piece last week...I was right there 
with him until he barfed chocolate. As a result I don't remember 
anything of what he said, all I remember was the chocolate (and 
the smell) and Stangl upstaging him eating the M and M. So, the 
shock element killed the validity of the piece. As opposed to 
Al's skullfuck piece, which was built around a shock concept so 
it wasn't shocking, just fucked up. Which is funny, but only too 
a point. 

3. We pride ourselves on crossing every line, but some lines 
shouldn;t be crossed, not because we offened people, but because 
it isn't good theater. think to yourselves, is this good theater? 
Is it valid? Or is it me pissing in a cup and drinking it because 
the audience will go "EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW". I try to balance shock 
and content, as opposed to being all content which I think the 
old days (at least what I saw) were by and large and all shock 
which is what we are headed to. Do I do it well? Who knows, but I 
am trying to rely on more than writing "now the Pope 
donkeypunches Jesus and sprays his load all over Elizabeth 
Taylor". We can do better than that.

what am I saying? who knows. but I was damned scattered saying it.

mike

Time: Fri, 12-Nov-1999 07:07:45 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.178

2) Try writing scenes instead of sketches. 

I'll go you one further. Try writing joints instead of scenes instead of sketches. 

But seriously now and, all kidding aside, another thing not mentioned, and I can't speak too loudly
cuz I'm not a veteran, just a regular, and wouldn't it be neat if I added another phrase here, and
there, just o see how many commas I can fit in this sentence, but anyway, what I was getting to
was that my memory may be foggy, but last semester seemed full of songs and singing. Which are
really the same thing. We have Jamal and Kyle and occasionally Ben Schmidt, but I can remember
when Al Angel and Chris Stangl and Chris Okiishi and James Horak and Greg Mitchell and many
others sang at No Shame. I also remember this being a very nice way to break up the sketches,
which has been a fact since a way long time ago. Songs are a really great way to end the night, a
really great way to start the night, and I love it when they pop up midway through the night. So
what I'm saying is, I miss the songs. Bring back the music!

Time: Fri, 12-Nov-1999 15:40:18 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

Mark--the relative decline of No Shame songs will be fully 
covered in VH1's new documentary--"No Shame:  Behind the Music."
You may be surprised.

Some thoughts--I was just thinking back to some of my favorite 
No Shame pieces, and realizing that, in general, they all had in 
common an effort on the part of the performer to do something 
that terrified or at least made them uncomfortable.  A seasoned 
sketch performer trying out singing/guitar playing, ironic 
monologists' honest soul-bareing, sketch writers trying 
character monologues, dance or mime pieces, or poetry, even.  
Some were more and some were less successful, but the edge of 
honest fear on the part of the performer is hard to fake, and 
mostly appreciated by the audience because it is so real.  I 
find myself agreeing with Dan and Chris nearly all the time, but 
never so much in their admonisments to push ourselves and give 
something real.  

Don't get me wrong--I really think No Shame is at a terrific 
place right now, and I hardly presume to dis or invalidate 
anyone's efforts.  Content is more "vulgar" than even last 
semester, but that doesn't really bother me so much--especially 
given the energy with which even the most "vile" stuff is 
purveyed.  There is an honest, infectious glee in most pieces 
that cannot be denied, and which renders otherwise offensive 
material forgivable.  That said, I really look forward to what 
ELSE the current crop of writers can do, and what new writers 
and performers will emerge as a result.  As Mike Rothchild 
eloquently chronicales, No Shame is a changeable beast, 
flexable, dynamic, un-predictable.  May it always be so.

Note to Dan and cast:  Thank you ever so much for the late 
night "Lobster."  Best fun I've had all month, and got me 
thinking too, about the nature of relationships, the lies we 
invest in, and the alure of sea food.  Thanks.  

Time: Sat, 13-Nov-1999 08:51:41 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.181

1) This Title Does Not Contain the Words "Mose" or "Hayward"
Jamal River
2) Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus or: Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus
James Erwin
3) Simpler Expositions Through Flashcards
Funk Soul Brothers Adam Hahn and Zachary Robertson
4) Fun With Doppler
Adam Burton
5) Sweatshirt Hugs
Melissa Kotacka
5.5) Flying Drunk
Ben Schmidt
6) Half the Story
Mark Hansen
7) Baltimore Bullet Ballet
Mike Rothschild
7.5) Middle America
Dan Brooks
8) Arlen Lawson is a Thief: The Porn Chronicles Parts 3 -&- 4
Al Angel
9) Kiddie-Winky Superfun Story Time: The Decline of Western 
Civilization
James Horak
10) That Flying Man Must Die
Neil "Balls" Campbell
11) Endless Grace, Elvis, 2 AM, Endless Grace
and: The Lobster Play Checklist
Chris Stangl
12) My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's 
Conception -&- Birth
Nick Clark
13) Did You Catch the "Real World" Finale? Yeah? Well, That's Why 
I Don't LIke Calling These "Skits"
Arlen Lawson
13.5) How Not To Watch Theater
Dave Harman
14) Dance
Brad Smith
15) More Singing, More Happiness
MIke Cassady with Music by James Horak -&- Mario S

Time: Sat, 13-Nov-1999 09:04:05 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.197

14.5) Bounce
Bradley Harris

The "S" that ended the last post was supposed to be "Sosa"

Time: Sat, 13-Nov-1999 19:21:42 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.112

Well sir, I thought the show last night was fine. Some of it was 
kinda not the greatest, but lots of stuff was quite funny, and 
most of it was was less gross than usual. So that = darn fine in 
my book.

:1) This Title Does Not Contain the Words "Mose" or "Hayward"
:
Jamal River
I thought this went pretty well. I liked it. I wrote this skit 
over four years ago (which partially explains why it had no dirty 
parts). It was Chris' idea to do it at No Shame. I changed it 
quite a bit for the No Shame format, though. Arlen as the door 
was a new addition, and probably the funniest part
2) Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus or: Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus
:
James Erwin
This was reel funny, OK? -&-- Neato use of the space. And Chris' 
fall was pretty grate. And everybody's acting was fun(ny). Gosh! 
...That's what made me like it so much! 
3) Simpler Expositions Through Flashcards
:
Funk Soul Brothers Adam Hahn and Zachary Robertson
My favorite part of this skit was the part before the premise 
kicked in, where Adam was coloring new animals on the floor. The 
salesman part didn't seem extree funny to me. I can't really 
remember how it went right now, though. ... Um... I don't know.
4) Fun With Doppler
:
Adam Burton
Liked lots. So short. Matched in shortness by funniness. Oh man. 
Clever and fun for ebybody.
5) Sweatshirt Hugs
:
Melissa Kotacka
Well, it seemed like she was genuinely pouring her heart out on 
stage, which surely takes guts and bloody and liver. I have a 
difficult time with serious pieces, my selfy. They make me feel 
all uncomfortable. Maybe they're supposed to. 
5.5) Flying Drunk
:
Ben Schmidt
This one I liked to laugh at! "Ho"! I would laugh. At 1st I 
thought it was just gonna continue with the "switch words around 
into nonsense" deal, and I thought that would grow old and die, 
but then it changed into "switch words around into naughty", and 
then into "replace words with naughty", and that kept me mega-
entertained! Totally, yes?! Ouch!
6) Half the Story
:
Mark Hansen
Well, I think this one made clever use of the space, and I like 
the premise of a conversation where you miss out on chunks of it 
(that's the premise for a differn't sketch I wrote over 4 years 
ago! Mark, you ripped me off!). I thought more could have been 
done with said premise, though. Like, the conversation coulda 
gotten so whack you'd'a been like, "Yough! What could I have 
missed in those 5 seconds when I couldn't hear them?! This is 
whack!" I liked that the sketch was a loop and ended where it 
began. OK?
7) Baltimore Bullet Ballet
:
Mike Rothschild
I remember liking parts, and not other parts. But you want some 
examples? No, I can't remember. ...I can't. I tried. Fooey.
7.5) Middle America
:
Dan Brooks
I couldn't keep straight which stereotype went with which name, 
so this mono-log quickly made less and less sense to me. By the 
end I was like, "So Kate likes to comb her hair and Katie likes 
to _brush_ her hair, eh? ...Well... Those are both viable 
options... I prefer to comb mine... I must be a 'Kate'... ?" 
8) Arlen Lawson is a Thief: The Porn Chronicles Parts 3 --&-- 4
:
Al Angel
Some of this was pretty gross. Also, I walked across the stage. 
That is what I remember. Also, I rember that Alren said, "He was 
coming!" or something like that and I thought that was really 
funny. Oh yeah, and I remember that I walked back across the 
stage before I was supposed to because I thought it was over, but 
really it wasn't. Then I froze mid stage and made an embarrassed 
grin and tried to hide behind my own shoulder. Then I sat down. 
That's what I remember. 
9) Kiddie-Winky Superfun Story Time: The Decline of Western 
:
Civilization
:
James Horak
No, I don't know how to do a Brando impression. I don't. Some of 
these jokes were fine to me, some seemed hokey. That's to me, you 
know? My opinion. A joke I liked: "Her father, King... Ugly." I 
joke I didn't like: "king of a car dealership." You know what was 
totally messed up about my performance in this skit? I will tell 
you. When I entered, my character was supposed to think it was 
Brando, but it floated in like a fairy. Then when I exited, my 
character was supposed to think it was a fairy, but it walked out 
like a man. Hah hah.  
10) That Flying Man Must Die
:
Neil "Balls" Campbell
Funny Neil. Neil is funny. Neil is always funny. This piece took 
awhile to build up steam. Then it was too funny and great and 
what am I supposed to say every week about Neil's pieces when 
they're always funny?
11) Endless Grace, Elvis, 2 AM, Endless Grace
:
and: The Lobster Play Checklist
:
Chris Stangl
The man who eated himself was too ooka for me so I plugged up my 
ears. Gross me out, man! I enjoyed playing Jorge Constantino in 
"Kill the Lobster". I wonder if that skit made Dan sad, though. 
It would have made me extra sad. Poor Dan. Chris says, "Dan will 
know it is all for fun! Dan can take it like a man! He is one!" 
But what about Dan's poor man-feelings?
12) My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's 
:
Conception --&-- Birth
:
Nick Clark
I've been writing this review for a long time now and I am tired 
of it. So the rest of the pieces get tiny, unhelpful reviews: 
Nick's piece? Why, I think I liked it! Yep!
13) Did You Catch the "Real World" Finale? Yeah? Well, That's Why 
:
I Don't LIke Calling These "Skits"
:
Arlen Lawson
Arlen said, "I don't like my piece tonight!" I say, "I do!" It 
was one of my favorites. I laughed at the funny funny type writer 
jokes and stuff. Chris and Arlen were great together. They played 
off each other well.
13.5) How Not To Watch Theater
:
Dave Harman
It was short! So short that I don't even care that it was trying 
to tell me an important message! Yeah for so short! 
14) Dance
:
Brad Smith
This was big fun for me. And probably the audience, too. And it 
was an auspicious event cuz it featured Alyssa Bowman in her very 
1st stage performance ever. She played Lucy. And do you know what 
is hilarious? You don't, so I will say. In the 1st sketch I was 
supposedly a guy who thought he was a dog, right? And then later, 
I played Snoopy! Ahahaha! Yes! You didn't know that because how 
could you possibly know I was doing a Snoopy dance? Well maybe 
you should have taken the time to ask. 
15) More Singing, More Happiness
:
MIke Cassady with Music by James Horak --&-- Mario S
This was great. Duh!!!!! Obviously!!!!! As if!!!!! You don't need 
me to tell you this great: you already know that, Mickey Fickey!
EVERYBODY knows that!

And: Juggle Brad. Who is always fun to watch. Especially when 
he's juggling.

THEEND 

-RIVER

Time: Sun, 14-Nov-1999 09:04:36 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.179


:1) This Title Does Not Contain the Words "Mose" or "Hayward"
Jamal River
I saw the original, and this was better than it. Mostly because Chris played the crazy roommate
this time, and Arlen was playing a door. Very funny.
2) Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus or: Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus
James Erwin
This was really good as well. Loved Cassady in this, didn't he co-write it? Everyone was good,
Stangl's fall was the bestest  est.
3) Simpler Expositions Through Flashcards
Funk Soul Brothers Adam Hahn and Zachary Robertson
I really liked the use of flashcards and the Free Will 2.0. The ending was a bit of a cop-out,
though. 
4) Fun With Doppler
:Adam Burton
Very clever, very funny, very short. One of the best of the night.
5) Sweatshirt Hugs
:Melissa Kotacka
Also short and to the point, very nice to see a new face, though she bore quite a resemblance to
Aprille. Not that it matters.
5.5) Flying Drunk
:Ben Schmidt
Another one I liked a lot. I agree with Jamal that just when the premise seemed like it would run
out of steam, it was altered just enough to become fresh and fun and good yahoo.
6) Half the Story
:Mark Hansen
See, this is the one where the characters went in circles around the stage and we only catch part
of their conversation and then it ends where it begins all over again. Focused too much on
concept and not on content, the story seemed too much to me like something I'd try to write in
high school, when I thought anything involving a broken relationship was instantly drama.Good
Brad and Kelli, though. 
7) Baltimore Bullet Ballet
:Mike Rothschild
Thank you, Mike, for posting this, cuz I couldn't remember some of the parts as well, and
rereading it, I found it very funny. I thought for some reason Dan wrote this, I don't know why.
Maybe because he's prominently featured in it. Anyway, I enjoyed it.
7.5) Middle America
:Dan Brooks
This was a little hard to follow, but most of it I caught and enjoyed,  and that's really about all I
have to say.
8) Arlen Lawson is a Thief: The Porn Chronicles Parts 3 ---&--- 4
:Al Angel
Yeah, some of this was gross, some of it was funny, mostly I found it confusing. Random No
Shamers came up to Al and he either told them to fuck off or they performed sexual favors for
him. Not a big stretch for Al, but he was using pauses or something, I don't know, something
about it was different. Any other thoughts, cuz I'm done here.
9) Kiddie-Winky Superfun Story Time: The Decline of Western 
:Civilization
James Horak
This was weak, cuz a lot of it seemed like another Mont Python rip-off (and some of it was.) Not
very many laughs from me, simply because of that. 
10) That Flying Man Must Die
:Neil "Balls" Campbell
Neil being funny as always. That cocksucker stuff was a thing of beauty.
11) Endless Grace, Elvis, 2 AM, Endless Grace
:and: The Lobster Play Checklist
:Chris Stangl
I liked this monologue better than last week's. I think the gross-out factor was down a notch this
time, though it was still there. Yay for Elvis impersonations! As for second part, I wonder with
Jamal about Dan's feelings, but Dan should remember that Chris did see his play three times, so he
couldn't have hated it that much.
12) My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's 
:Conception ---&--- Birth
Nick Clark
I'm glad I had a chance to reread this one too. Cuz I liked it again. Very funny, although not in the
uproarious Balls Campbell way. 
13) Did You Catch the "Real World" Finale? Yeah? Well, That's Why 
:I Don't LIke Calling These "Skits"
Arlen Lawson
Did you catch the Real World finale? If you did, you'd probably find this title as funny as I did.
Favorite part: the oregano joke. Shame on you, Dan, for yelling out, "Timing!" and ruining Arlen's
perfectly good joke. 
13.5) How Not To Watch Theater
:Dave Harman
I've been trying to figure out: was this a message for those who left not even midway through that
night? If so, how did he know this would happen? If not, forgive me for being so stupid.
14) Dance
:Brad Smith
This went a mite too long, but for the most part the audience really liked it. They made me laugh
so much I had to leave the stage early. 
15) More Singing, More Happiness
MIke Cassady with Music by James Horak ---&--- Mario S
Yes, another one of the highlights of the night, and a welcome return of music to the No Shame
stage! Please don't let it go away too long!

And Juggling Brad is always good, yay!

Mark

Time: Sun, 14-Nov-1999 19:25:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.35

awright, I just spent hours writing a great review that would have 
made everyone think and feel geat and improve their work but this 
goddamn thing just deleted it.  GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Time: Sun, 14-Nov-1999 22:48:50 GMT     IP: 152.163.232.47

:1) This Title Does Not Contain the Words "Mose" or "Hayward"
:Jamal River
The best part was the beginning, with Arlen as the door. I liked 
the rest of it too, but not as much as that.
2) Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus or: Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus
:James Erwin
One of James' best pieces of the semester, though it was a little 
long which streched out the joke a bit much. The perception shift 
that it was an office, not a mountain or something was well 
handled.
3) Simpler Expositions Through Flashcards
:Funk Soul Brothers Adam Hahn and Zachary Robertson
A good premise, but dry and not well executed.
4) Fun With Doppler
:Adam Burton
Very funny.Very very funny.
5) Sweatshirt Hugs
:Melissa Kotacka
I liked this a lot. It was sweet and simple without being cloying 
or manipulative. Also was very good to see another woman at NS. 
All dick all the time is really boring. Except for nympho types 
out there.
:
5.5) Flying Drunk
:Ben Schmidt
Very funny and creative. Also simple.
6) Half the Story
:Mark Hansen
Great use of the space, but it was too long and repetitive. Nice 
idea though.
7) Baltimore Bullet Ballet
:Mike Rothschild
The greatest pice anyone has ever written. I wish we had a chance 
to rehearse it before we went, but it came off fine. Tke piece 
started as one thing, and when I finished it had taken all these 
weird turns. If you've never seen Benny Hinn, you should see the 
weird creppyness of the man on tv. His show is on late night on 
TBN. Not that I watch it every night. No...
7.5) Middle America
:Dan Brooks
My next door neighbor is named Kathy. Freaky. COuld have used a 
trim, but it was very earnest and detailed, which always makes 
life better.
8) Arlen Lawson is a Thief: The Porn Chronicles Parts 3 --&-- 4
:Al Angel
Don't really remember it, but seemed like more Al fuck humor. 
Which is funny, but...i dunno, I guess with the show being a lot 
cleaner than usual, this stood out as unclean. What am I saying? 
Who knows.
9) Kiddie-Winky Superfun Story Time: The Decline of Western 
:Civilization
James Horak
Good premise, but the execution failed in my opinion. I really 
couldn't follow what was going on.
10) That Flying Man Must Die
:Neil "Balls" Campbell
Good use of space, though the ending was flat. Still very funny 
and creative.
11) Endless Grace, Elvis, 2 AM, Endless Grace and: The Lobster 
Play Checklist
:Chris Stangl
Another grossout monologue done in a Funny Voice. Nice to see a 
character developed during the piece, but this is getting a 
little repetitive. And as for the lobster play thing...what was 
the point? Seriously, I'd like to know. Was it to say LP was a 
rip off of something else? So who ripped off who? Dan ripped off 
Ionesco, Ionesco ripped off Kafka, Kafka ripped off Aristophanes, 
etc. We're all thieves. 
12) My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's 
:Conception --&-- Birth
:Nick Clark
Funny and truthful. Well done, Nick.
13) Did You Catch the "Real World" Finale? Yeah? Well, That's Why 
:I Don't LIke Calling These "Skits"
:Arlen Lawson
I did see the Real World finale, with the "talent" show. We're 
better than them. I am, at least.
13.5) How Not To Watch Theater
:Dave Harman
Huh? I don't get it.
14) Dance
:Brad Smith
Not really original, but was nice to see. 
15) More Singing, More Happiness
:MIke Cassady with Music by James Horak --&-- Mario S
I can't go on about how much I liked this. Was great to see Mike 
take a risk and sing, and do something well prepared and written. 
I loved the song and the music, and the bottle of piss. 
Everything about this was good.

Overall, a decent show. But my god, can we get some more women 
performers please? Imagine if Kelli Rae didn't come...we'd all 
have been fucked. Oh well...

mike

Time: Sun, 14-Nov-1999 23:12:25 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.12

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen.  Here it is.

1)This Title Does Not Contain the Words "Mose" or "Hayward"
by Jamal River

   I did enjoy this joint a lot.  It was funny.  And it was 
first.  And Jamal came back!!!!!  And people referred to it as 
"The door sketch" later that night and asked if I'd written it.  
I said yes and complemented their perspicacity.

2)Arlen is Not a Big Bag of Pus and I Don't Know Why Anybody 
Would Say Arlen is a Big Bag of Pus
by James "I love Arlen" Erwin and Mike "As do I" Cassady

   One of my room mates came to No Shame for the first time, 
without my knowledge.  After the show, he came up to me and said 
how much he liked the show and how he was going to come back next 
week and bring a friend.  He talked about three or four of the 
joints, but this one and one other were his favorites, it seemed.
   Chris' fall was absolute genius.
   James as the ninja was also wonderful.  James as anything is 
wonderful.  Remember how good he was as Lieutenant Warf From Star 
Trek.  That's an order.  Remember it.

3)Simpler Expositions Through Flashcards
by Zach and Eggy

   This was a skit.
   I normally have trouble with what to call what I write, 
because none of the usual suspects seem flattering.  As pointed 
out to me by somebody at No Shame, "sketch," as I prefer over the 
others, seems to imply that it's unfinished and "piece," as I've 
used once or twice, sounds pretentious.  For a time, I called 
them "vignettes," but that was just as much a joke to me then as 
calling them "joints" now.  What I've avoided calling them, 
avoided like the plague of Herpes, is "skits", because a skit, to 
me, is what they would do when you went to summer camp, or when 
the group of "players" from the Christian College would come to 
visit your church.
   And this was a skit.   I don't know, maybe it was just their 
performance style or maybe the premise or maybe it was lines like 
"Yes sir, the ultimate feature of any new creation: Free will."
   I actually missed out on the exposition and premise at first, 
my attention on Zach when Eggy held up his first card.

4)Fun with Doppler
by Adam Burton

   I didn't remember this joint until I called somebody to ask 
them what it was.
   But, now that I remember it, I also remember how much I liked 
it and it is surprising to me that I could have forgotten it.

5)Sweatshirt Hugs

   Whereas this I did remember.  Go figure.
   It seemed heartfelt.  It seemed genuine.  But there seemed no 
other reason for it to be.  Therapeutic for the performer, but 
what was I supposed to get out of it.
   Directly after, Al, from behind me, said something like "And 
Arlen thinks that's art," which came from an argument he had been 
trying unsuccessfully to start with me earlier that day.  But, to 
clear the record, Al, I don't think that unhappiness itself is 
art or that everything that is unhappy is also art.  I never even 
implied that.  And that was a horribly irrational conclusion for 
you to draw.
   
5.5)Flying Drunk
by Ben Schmidt

   I can do nothing but agree with the other reviews of this 
joint.  I thought of a good time, visualized it, then had it.  
All thanks to Ben Schmidt.

6)Half the Story
by Mark Hansen

   I did not know that this was written by Mark when I saw it.
   I don't know if it's just coincidence that Mark has done two 
more-serious-than-usual joints in a row or if he's taking a turn 
in that direction.  And why hasn't he been in either of these 
more serious joints?
   I've liked them both, the last one more than this. (That 
judgement based only on text, with no offense intended to arrive 
in the minds of either Brad or to Kelly)  But, these days, I like 
to laugh more than I like to be serious.  
   Also, I did like this joint.  I liked what was done with the 
stage and the circular nature of the piece, but I'm afraid all 
this has already been said and I'm only parroting.  Maybe next 
week I'll write my review before reading the others.

7)Baltimore Bullet Ballet
by Mike Rothschild

   I liked this.  Also, I was under the impression, until Dan did 
his monologue, that he had written this joint, returning to the 
sketch format for a little dabble.  Also, yes, I would like a 
cracker.  (Emits a parrot noise_ like a parrot!!!!)
   Maybe it says good things about Mike that I thought Dan wrote 
it.  Or maybe you don't like Dan and it says bad things.  Or 
maybe, I only thought Dan wrote it for no other reason than that 
he had the most lines and his delivery colors everything he says 
Dan.


7.5)Middle America
by Dan Brooks

   I don't particularly remember this monologue.
   Oh yeah, Katherines.  Cute.

8)Arlen Lawson, Once More, is Not a Thief and I Wish People Would 
Stop Making Such Slanderous Accusations.  I, For One, Firmly 
Believe That Arlen is a Fine Citizen and Wonderful Writer: The 
Porn Chronicles Parts 17 --&-- 18
by Al "Hysterical Anagram" Angel

   I like the joint.  I like my line better than when I first 
read it. 
   Just as needlessly foul as ever, of course, but it is here 
forgiveable, I think.
   A joke that I wrote a few months ago, but can no longer use?  
"If God didn't want children sexed by grown men, why did he make 
them so hot?"

9)Kiddie-Winky Superfun Story Time: The Decline of Western 
Civilization
by James "Originality eludes me, but I am still funny" Horak

   Normally, if somebody uses an old joke, they put a new spin on 
it, changing it into a completely different joke, as opposed to 
just reformatting it.
   However, the reformatting did this time manage, as Horak often 
does, to draw a smile and a laugh out of me that just watching 
the old sketch over again would not have.

10)That Flying Man Must Die
by Neil "Does Neil have a nickname? I can't seem to remember" 
Campbell

   Funny.  Laugh until I stop, funny.  I kept looking up to the 
catwalk, as though expecting them to do something other than 
deliver their lines from up there without falling.
   Neil manages to seem jealous.  Comically jealous, true, but 
never breaking out of it.

11)Endless Grace, Elvis, 2 AM, Endless Grace and The Lobster Play 
Checklist
by Chris Stangl

   As much as I like what Chris does and as much as I would 
honestly like to see a Night o' Stangl sometime in the near 
future, it seems to me that I have no way of finishing this 
sentence.
   I liked the first monologue, but not as much as any other 
Stangl monologue I've seen so far.  Nothing constructive in that 
sentence, is there?  Just an opinion, isn't it?
   The second monologue I loved.  I like Dan's stuff.  I have him 
listed on my website as one of my favorite No Shame performers.  
I did not see the lobster play.  I liked the monologue, though.  
I liked how faux-vicious it was and how continually anti-Dan 
Chris pretends to be.
   Of course, I only say pretends because what Mark say about The 
Lobster Play and 3 times is true.  I don't pretend to know what 
Chris is thinking.

12)My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's 
Conception and Birth
by Nick Clark

   I liked this monologue, Nick.  And, yes, I think it was fine 
following Chris' Elvis monologue.
   I like a short monologue.  And I like "The End," and walking 
quickly back to your seat as soon as you'd said what you wanted 
to say.

13)Did You Catch the Real World Finale? Yeah? Well, That's Why I 
don't Like Calling These 'Skits'
by Arlen "Arlen Lawson" Lawson

   Yes, it was supposed to be obvious that the intended joke was 
"Timing."  No, Dan was not supposed to yell out the obvious, 
thereby cheapening the "twist" at the end.
   But I don't think the joke was ruined and I don't hold any 
grudges

13.5)How Not to Watch Theater
by David Harman

   I like things like these.  Did he actually walk out then?  Did 
he asked to be placed near the end of the order, then walk out 
for the sake of his piece?  Well, if he did walk out, then he 
missed_

14)Dance
by Brad Smith

   which was wonderful.
   For some reason, I thoug

Time: Sun, 14-Nov-1999 23:19:08 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.12

   Of course, I only say pretends because what Mark say about The 
Lobster Play and 3 times is true.  I don't pretend to know what 
Chris is thinking.

12)My Conception and Birth: A Brief Monologue About Nick Clark's 
Conception and Birth
by Nick Clark

   I liked this monologue, Nick.  And, yes, I think it was fine 
following Chris' Elvis monologue.
   I like a short monologue.  And I like "The End," and walking 
quickly back to your seat as soon as you'd said what you wanted 
to say.

13)Did You Catch the Real World Finale? Yeah? Well, That's Why I 
don't Like Calling These 'Skits'
by Arlen "Arlen Lawson" Lawson

   Yes, it was supposed to be obvious that the intended joke was 
"Timing."  No, Dan was not supposed to yell out the obvious, 
thereby cheapening the "twist" at the end.
   But I don't think the joke was ruined and I don't hold any 
grudges.
   You know, Mike Rothschild, a quick-title related joke hardly 
counts as a review.

13.5)How Not to Watch Theater
by David Harman

   I like things like these.  Did he actually walk out then?  Did 
he asked to be placed near the end of the order, then walk out 
for the sake of his piece?  Well, if he did walk out, then he 
missed_

14)Dance
by Brad Smith

   which was wonderful.
   For some reason, I thought it was Mark who wrote this, but 
then I thought back to when I thought Mark had suggested 
something like it and it was Brad who had done the talkin'

14.5)Bounce
by Bradley Harris

   What could I possibly say to help Brad out.
   I can say, "Fun to watch," but, even if I could find a fault, 
would my pointing it out help him improve?
   "Twelve balls," you say, "Now, why didn't I think of that?  
God, Arlen, what would I do if it weren't for you?"

15)More Singing, More Happiness
by Mike Cassady (Music by James Horak and Mario Sosa)

   This was the other one that seemed to be my roommates 
favorite.
   Was it Mario that made this piece memorable, or was Homeless 
Johnny actually that wonderful, otherwise?  I mean, it was funny 
on its own, true, but_ would somebody please explain what I'm 
saying.


    And there we have it, ladies and gentlemen.  There we have 
it.

Time: Mon, 15-Nov-1999 06:38:43 GMT     IP: 206.150.222.247

I am Al!  And Arlen is an Ass (notice the almost perfect 
aliteration and my imperfect spelling of that word), and here's 
why:

:4)Fun with Doppler
:by Adam Burton
:   I didn't remember this joint until I called somebody to ask 
:them what it was.

That was me, Arlen.  That's right, Arlen called ME and asked me 
about Adam's "spliff."  Are you embarassed to admit that you had 
to stoop to asking ME, Arlen?  

:5)Sweatshirt Hugs
:   Directly after, Al, from behind me, said something like "And 
:Arlen thinks that's art," which came from an argument he had been 
:trying unsuccessfully to start with me earlier that day.  But, to 
:clear the record, Al, I don't think that unhappiness itself is 
:art or that everything that is unhappy is also art.  I never even 
:implied that.  And that was a horribly irrational conclusion for 
:you to draw.

Now let's tell the people the truth Arlen.  This comment was a 
joke I made about Arlen, to Arlen (by no means trying to 
demean (that spelling doesn't look right) "sweatshirt hugs" 
itself).  Simply, I did not try to incite an argument with him, 
but was intrigued and questioned him about a statement he made in 
the course of a conversation that followed an argument that I DID 
try to incite, and I promise, if you are all good, that I will 
finish this sentence in the near future, like now.  The statement 
was so silly and evidence-lacking that I felt it deserved to be 
poked fun at (bad grammar strikes again, but you get my point).  
His statement was this: in order for something to be classified as 
a true work of art, not a diversion or an art cop-out, it has to 
be sad.  Real art is sad.  Every other emotion in the human 
existence is too "easy" and not true art.  This seemed dumb to me, 
and Arlen refused to expain it so that I may become as enlightened 
(by which I mean ignorant) as he.  Thus, I made fun of it.