Time: Sat, 01-Apr-2000 21:05:19 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.173

Maibe again:

1)  Holly Holly Machaka (the cat!) by Jamal Rump
2)  Wipe A Giggle With A Smile by Mike Cassady
3)  Stick It In, Break It Off by Michael Rothschild
4)  Philadelphobia by Aaron "Rocky Danger Balls" Galbraith
5)  I Can Relate to Wayne Newton by Mark J. Hansen
6)  Tuesday by Ben Schmidt
7)  How the Universe Works by Danger Brooks
8)  getting naked by jessica clement
9)  Enchilada by Chris Stangl
10) Colon?! It killed them both!! by Bert Brecht (I think--
please correct me if I'm wrong, Al)
11) You Reek of the Future by Neil "Balls" Campbell
12) School for a Fashion Model Superstar by Mose Hayward
13) Self-Explanitory.  A song by Kyle Lange (FYI--AKA "I'm 
fucking youf daughter!")
14) Theme from Dr. No by Arlen Lawson Double-O Funny
15) Santa Claus is a Prick pt. 3:  The Yul Brynner Monologue, 
Take 2, by nick clark
16) Blood Letting by Christopher Okiishi

Then again, Maibe not...

Time: Sun, 02-Apr-2000 02:26:58 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.43


1)  Holly Holly Machaka (the cat!) by Jamal Rump
Enjoyed quite much, especially Nick Clark's monologue about performing for the first time. 
2)  Wipe A Giggle With A Smile by Mike Cassady
Funny song and funny Cassady= that's caucasian entertainment!
3)  Stick It In, Break It Off by Michael Rothschild
I'm not sure what Rothschild's fascination with the Scottish character is, but nonetheless I had fun
being in it. Good cast (Yay Nick, Brad and Kyle! And Mike, too, of course.)
4)  Philadelphobia by Aaron "Rocky Danger Balls" Galbraith
I missed out on the fun pantomime stuff because I was unsuccessfully trying to do a stuffy British
narration. By the audience's reaction, this was very fine, and if I recall correctly, it's been too
damn long since Galbraith has graced us with his presence as an author or otherwise. Damn you!
5)  I Can Relate to Wayne Newton by Mark J. Hansen
Riverside didn't like this, but my friend Sarah did. It wasn't meant to be sidesplitting, but I still
think it could've been better if I had memorized more of it.
6)  Tuesday by Ben Schmidt
I've always enjoyed Ben's songs, and this was no exception. It was a little longer than the others,
but rather than being detrimental, this just meant more good music for us.
7)  How the Universe Works by Danger Brooks
Dan's another one who hasn't given us a whole lot this semester. I recognized this from our
playwriting class, and it was one of my favorites of the night, and a definite best-of contender.
8)  getting naked by jessica clement
For those of you who missed this, there were no boobs or other glimpses of tantalizing female
flesh, just the baring of the soul. I say that as if it's an easy thing, of course it isn't. For more
soul-baring, check out www.nakedteensoul.com, but you gotta be at least 18 to view it. 
9)  Enchilada by Chris Stangl
Very short, very funny. 
10) Colon?! It killed them both!! by Bert Brecht 
I liked this a lot, too. I'm really digging Al's stuff this semester. Not that I didn't before, it's just
better now. Sorry that the sandwich didn't go into the audience, I hope it didn't hurt that wodd lip
thingy. 
11) You Reek of the Future by Neil "Balls" Campbell
This is my favorite Balls so far, with the possible exception of the one that I kissed him in. Hey,
Neil, where did you get that vest? 
12) School for a Fashion Model Superstar by Mose Hayward
Yay for Mose coming back! I've loved his stuff always. This was good as well. Are you gonna
write some sketches again, Mose? Good.
13) Self-Explanitory.  A song by Kyle Lange 
This was one of my favorite Kyle's as well. Really liked Ben on this. The two form a duo, don't
they?
14) Theme from Dr. No by Arlen Lawson Double-O Funny
I missed Dr. No, should I see it? Shame on you who shouted Thunderball who aren't in Bond
club. 
15) Santa Claus is a Prick pt. 3:  The Yul Brynner Monologue, 
Take 2, by nick clark
This was all over the place, it seemed. Not sure all of it worked, but I liked the little pieces within
the piece. Yay for cowboys. 
16) Blood Letting by Christopher Okiishi
I can never tell how much of Chris Okiishi's monologues are based on true-life experiences. That's
a good thing. If the majority of them are fact, then he is one of the bravest men I know, being able
to bare himself on stage like that. Maybe I'll do that someday.
 Then again, 
Maibe not. 

Time: Sun, 02-Apr-2000 21:24:55 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.135

Alright, goddammit. I'm showing up on Friday.
I was at home this week with a fever of 103. But even if I 
remain at death's door in five days, I'll show up. I imagine my 
waxen sweat-beaded demeanor and hallucinatory rantings will only 
enhance the flavor of my performance.

I love you unspeakable bastards.

Time: Mon, 03-Apr-2000 01:30:35 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.226

:Alright, goddammit. I'm showing up on Friday.

Wonderful!  I would like you to be in my sketch.  If you will, I 
will be beside myself with joy.  Really.  You will see me and then 
another me, next to me.  Then I would do the dance of joy from 
"Perfect Strangers" with the other me.
Your Cousin from Across the Sea,
Balki

Time: Mon, 03-Apr-2000 18:12:05 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

Then I would do the dance of joy from 
:
"Perfect Strangers" with the other me.
:
Your Cousin from Across the Sea,
:
Balki
:
Chris Stangl is like Balki. He is like Balki. Chris Stangl is 
like Balki. Chris Stangl is like Balki. He is like Balki. Chris 
Stangl is like Balki.

-Retarded fellow #2.

Time: Tue, 04-Apr-2000 23:14:48 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.72

:Chris Stangl is like Balki.
:-Retarded fellow #2.

Do not hit! No! Do not hit! Do NOT! HIT! Do NOT HIT! That's where 
poop comes out.

-Retarded chap #1

Time: Thu, 06-Apr-2000 00:24:14 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.152


::Chris Stangl is like Balki.
:
:-Retarded fellow #2.
:
:
Do not hit! No! Do not hit! Do NOT! HIT! Do NOT HIT! That's where 
:
poop comes out.
:
:
-Retarded chap #1
:
Since when did you guys let retards post on this board? Say, I think something's up here!

Time: Thu, 06-Apr-2000 03:17:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.15

   Did you know that I missed the show on Friday?
  Well, did you?
   Oh.
   If you wrote a piece that was performed at that show, I think 
you should A) post it on the website so that I can read of it or 
B)E-mail it to me so that I can read of it.  If it was a song, 
you ought still to email the lyrics to me.
   That means you, buster.

     -Arlen
  
        That means me, buster.

Time: Sat, 08-Apr-2000 17:36:12 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.130

I think that last night's show was great. Hoooray! I thought it 
would be terrible because the audience was so small, but it 
turned out swell. Lots of grand pieces. 
I'm glad that even though Mose got turned away there was still a 
Hayward on stage. A funny Hayward, too- I liked his piece.

Yeah for the show.

-jamal 

Time: Sat, 08-Apr-2000 19:26:42 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.154

The order:  

1)   Brontasaur!  IT Won't hurt YOU!  TEX REX ATE IT up!  By 
Jamal River
2)   Talking Straight by Scotty Hayward
3)   Hold YOur Applause Until the End by James Erwin
4)   style by jess clement
5)   Body and Brain by Julia Wilder
6)   Chixx, Part Two:  Dead People Got No Reason to Live by Ryan 
Greenlaw and Mark J. Hansen
7)   I am Ojay!  Kill My Pants!  by Danger Brooks
8)   Snow in April Means We'll All Die Soon or The Pen is 
Mightier Than This Poem.  A delightful little something by:  
Mike "Warrior Princess" Cassady
9)   Pacifier Blues by Briana Sprecher
10)  The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lang by Dirt Bertie 
Bert "Bertolt" Brecht
11)  The Secret of the Orb by Neil "Balls" Campbell
12)  Follow the rules, even if small children must soil 
themselves!--OR--My New Job by Jessica Ahrendt
13)  There's a Little Man in My Head by Aprille Clarke
14)  Getting Your Metaphorical Rocks Off by Christopher Okiishi
15)  ...To The Sun a five minute play by Chris Stangl

Fun night!  Thanks for including me so often, folks!  I'm 
flattered and honored.

Time: Sun, 09-Apr-2000 00:01:19 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.101

I have a little review.

Here it is:

1) Follow the leader--Jamal is so enthusiastic and charming.  I 
laughed and laughed, especially when he licked the floor.  That was 
funnier than the pants gag.  The funniest part was that Chris 
Stangl can't skip.
2)  Mose's dad--When he first started I thought it was going to be 
bad, because his delivery was slow and I could tell it was going to 
be way too long (which it was, but who's counting at this point?), 
but he really impressed me a lot.  He seemed awfully hostile toward 
his ex-wife, but I liked how he talked about his babies because it 
made me imagine little Mosey, pre-tough-guy exterior.  It was 
mostly sweet and delightful.
3) James Erwin's-- I don't remember a whole lot of this one...it 
was the one with all the notes and addenda, yes?  I forgot what the 
actual skit was, though.  Not Erwin's best, in my opinion.  
4)  Tutu--There was a lot of sweet and charming stuff happening 
last night, including the Tutu thing.  I hate the French so I hated 
the French stuff, but overall it was cute and fun.
5)  Mind and body--I couldn't focus on this because I was reading 
my lines over for the next thing I was in.  It was probably a lot 
like her other ones.
6)  Mark's lover/leash thing--very funny little one-liners, which 
are what Mark does best (except for fixing omelets).  It was even 
funnier when Mike messed up a line and it came out a huge batch of 
hilarity.
7)  Dan's--I'm very sorry but I have absolutely no memory of this 
piece.  Did it happen?  who was in it?
8)  Beat poetry--WONDERFUL, and a definite Best Of candidate if the 
musicians can come back.  Mario's bass playing was great, 
especially when he spun it around, and Mike did a very good beat 
impression.
9)  Caffeine/pacifier--a little weak on content, but Brianna was 
really sweet and charming, so I couldn't help laughing.  Great 
delivery.
10) The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lange--I don't remember 
this one either.  I guess I fell asleep a couple of times.
11)  Neil jumping around--delightful, of course, because of Neil's 
boundless energy and cute little nipples, which I actually noticed 
before he started and was going to comment on but i thought it 
might be rude.  It went on a little long, and I felt like I would 
have understood it better if I'd played more Dungeons and Dragons, 
but I liked the physical comedy aspects.
12)  Osco--not my favorite thing of hers I've seen; the ending 
lacked punch and it didn't have that (yes) sweetness I've come to 
enjoy from here.  She'll keep working on it, though.
13)  my serial killer thing
14)  Chris Okiishi's statues/scratch quickie--i couldn't see it, 
obviously.  Did it have the kind of visual impact that was its 
goal?
15)  Chris Stangl's thing--while I did enjoy this, it was awfully 
serious.  I'm in no way opposed to Chris branching out into serious 
stuff, as long as he doesn't make a habit out of it.  He does it 
well because he's a good writer, but he makes me scream with 
laughter so well I'd hate it if he stopped entirely.

love,
Aprille

Time: Sun, 09-Apr-2000 00:21:21 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.77

:
7)  Dan's--I'm very sorry but I have absolutely no memory of this 
:
piece.  Did it happen?  who was in it?

Okay, so this was the piece with Dan, Aaron, James and I spouting 
lines at the audience and chanting "Date me!" in unison.  It was 
really fun to be in--best line "I am a gay robot on fire!"--which 
has a perhaps unintended double meaning...

:
10) The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lange--I don't 
remember 
:
this one either.  I guess I fell asleep a couple of times.
:
I doubt you were asleep during this one either, as you seemed to 
be squealing with laughter and singing along.  As with a lot of 
his stuff, I bet the title was misleading--this was Al Angel's 
tribute to Adam Hahn--"I only wanted to say hi...I though you 
were a real nice guy..."  IMHO one of the very best things to 
come out of Al, and that's saying a lot.

Otherwise, I pretty much agree, except I thought the Jamed Erwin 
thing was really hilarious and higher-brow than usual for our 
little troupe, and I suspect I enjoyed Chris Stangl's piece a 
little more than you, though you're right, his comic genius 
should not go unexpressed. 

Oh, and I DID play too much D -&- D as a kid, so I thought "Balls"' 
thing was riotous!  HA!   (BTW--where did Mark Hansen screw up?)

Snogs,

Christopher

Time: Sun, 09-Apr-2000 04:29:36 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.241


I will die happy because Dan told me to say "I am a gay robot on 
fire" in public.

And highbrow or not, I claim forthwith that my piece included the 
first use of the word "ontological" at No Shame ever, and that's 
the important thing. I dare you to prove me wrong. 

James "There's Usually a Nickname Here" Erwin

Time: Sun, 09-Apr-2000 05:48:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

:I also have a little review.
:
Here it is, isn't it?:
:
1) Follow the leader-- I put myself into this piece.  Mistake: actually licking floor.  Mistake: not
taking off underpants and showing frontally nude me for first time anywhere.  Jamal has these
great minimal ideas which actually manage to really work as NS pieces.  It's like a germ he has in
his head that is for being funny.
:
2)  Mose's dad--I completely agree with Aprille's review, except that I have never thought of
Mose as having a tough-guy exterior.  I found it awfully distracting that Mose's dad looks both
exactly like mose and exactly like Jerry Garcia.  I kept thinking "hey, that guy's dead.  twice."  It
would have been a better piece if Jerry Garcia had not been evoked in my brains by Mose's dad's
appearance.  As for the real review, copy Aprille's here.
:
3) James Erwin's--I thought this was one of the funniest things I've ever acted in.  It made me
squeal with glee.  James, you are brilliance.
:
4)  Tutu--Yeah for Jess for being newish to NS and not mentioning the fact that she's newish. 
The piece was really good, and I know exactly how it feels to own a ridiculous piece of clothing
which must be worn somehow.  This was a fun piece
:
5)  Mind and body--I liked this a lot better than her other ones.  It seemed a little less self
indulgent, a little more conscious of the fact that this is a piece in performance before an audience,
rather than a personal essay with action.
:
6)  Mark's lover/leash thing--I loved this piece.  It was mega-rad funny.  I give it my golden
carbuncle award.  I do not know what a carbuncle is.
:
7)  Dan's--It is always good when Dan gets out of his character-monologue rut.  This was great,
and its brevity compunded it greatity.
:
8)  Beat poetry--I could hear Ho laughing at the tippy top of his lungs when mike said "I'm
Gertrude Stein".    I think there should be a night of funny stuff by Mike and Mario.  This is a pair
who will be the next pair of famous people who are funny like in the olden days.
:
9)  Caffeine/pacifier--I dug it.  It was so well written and the use of the envolope to read from
was pretty ingenious.  It was igneous, in fact.  I felt that Brianna was expressive enough to make
this piece relly effective in its appearant simplicity, while evoking an intricate subplot.
:
10) The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lange--I read the lyrics beforehand.  Al asked me to
check and make sure if they wouldn't offend Egg.  I thought they seemed appropriate.  Egg saying
Hi at the end was a good touch.
:
11)  Neil jumping around--I played D-&-D once in junior high.  I think that if you can tell that
what Balls says is a lot of D-&-D gobbledygook, that is all that you need to know in order to get
the humor, but perhaps I missed something.  Even if I did, I laughed and laughed, because I did
know people who would talk like that all the time in High School, and they didn't seem to think it
was wierd.
:
12)  Osco--It was good, because Jessica's stuff has all been good, but I thought that somewhere
the real-life narrative and the sketch didn't quite belong in the same boat with each other.  She's
done personal monologues, and wierd physical comedy, somehow this sort of middle ground
didn't quite live up to the high standards she's established with her other work.
:
13)  Aprille's serial killer thing--It was mostly fun because of Aprille's fuzzy pink head, but then
Mike's lines were funny too, and after she told us that she didn't intend to kill any of us, it made
the piece a lot easier to watch.
:
14)  Chris Okiishi's statues/scratch quickie--Genius.

:
15)  Chris Stangl's thing--I liked it a lot.  In part because it was about as close as I've seen Stangl
get to something other than a monologue, and in part because it was not all that humorous.  I do
not feel as though I 'got' it, but then, at least I don't have a geographic tongue.  What happened? 
Who cares, the piece was good.
:
pie,
:
Clark (Kent)

Time: Sun, 09-Apr-2000 18:39:58 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.102

How the hell do you get your posts to come out italic and 
fullscreen? You infuriate me. But it's a good infuriating. Like 
being nibbled on the ear, except less intense and without the 
sexual undertones. Like I have to go, "Oh, Nick, you cad," and 
chuck you on the shoulder.

Uhm. Erwin.

Time: Mon, 10-Apr-2000 02:23:41 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:How the hell do you get your posts to come out italic and
:fullscreen?

I'm not sure about the fullscreen, but the italics is easy.
:See?
If you start a line with a : then it shows up italicized when you 
post the message.

For those who didn't know.

-Adam

Time: Mon, 10-Apr-2000 05:30:41 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.34

   (BTW--where did Mark Hansen screw up?)

I didn't. I never. Do. 

Mark Hansne

Time: Mon, 10-Apr-2000 17:21:46 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.211

:   (BTW--where did Mark Hansen screw up?)
:

:
I didn't. I never. Do. 
:

:
Mark Hansne
:

Anyone notice how "mark" spelled backwards is "kram"?

heh heh

Only two shows left, then I'm done forever. Or at least until I 
come crawling back here for more academic punishment.

mike

Time: Mon, 10-Apr-2000 18:21:18 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.14

a:   (BTW--where did Mark Hansen screw up?)


i believe what everyone is referring to is the "unhand you, me!" 
line, which i must clear up.  If this is indeed the phrase in 
question, neither mark nor i messed up here....that is exactly 
how it was written....in gut wrenching hilarity.  mayhaps my 
reading of it made it seem like a fuck-up, as it often seems when 
i open my face for speaky-talk to come out.

great show.

overall my favorite night this semester by far.

"egg, i don't like you no more."

"i'm a gay robot on fire."

that friends, is theatre.

love and hate,

Sassady

Time: Tue, 11-Apr-2000 02:33:01 GMT     IP: 204.71.106.119

I'm not really following this discussion about who fucked up what, 
but I did think the line "unhand you, me!" was funny, for what 
it's worth. And I also second Mr. Crassidy's love of the top jokes 
of the night, with the addition of one more:

Jamal River was skipping around and flailing his arms with five 
dweebs following him and he yelled "Rad!"

That was my favorite joke of the evening.

Mose

Time: Fri, 14-Apr-2000 11:19:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.10


..
:We know what's good and what's shite...Be your own 
:quality control. If you have something to say, say it. If you 
:have nothing to say, shut up and give the stage to someone else 
:who has something to say. 

Hemingway's Shit Detector, YES!!!!!!

Unfortunately being cruel also ruins the rather supportive
atmosphere that keeps the "where the hell did he come from" 
phenomenon from happening.  It also turns the NS family into a
NS clique, from child-like to childish.  Hate to see the trend
to continue this way.


Unkown
"...Like a Rollong Stone."

Time: Sat, 15-Apr-2000 07:37:28 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.30

You know, it's a shame that a good night of no shame is ruined 
by some very rude people. I don't know if the people who were 
rude are ISCA people, I'm not assuming this, so I don't know if 
those rude people will even read this message. But if you do, 
you know who you are, and you can eat monkey poo. 

Overall, a good night. Josh Kozuh is my new God. I love carrots. 
And now I can never eat them again. 

jonas

Time: Sat, 15-Apr-2000 14:58:33 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:You know, it's a shame that a good night of no shame is ruined 
:by some very rude people.

What rude people?  Whatd they do?

Time: Sat, 15-Apr-2000 21:58:35 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.63

The order for 4/14/00--ISCAnic in Theater B

1)  Nerdy Humor for the ISCA Crowd.  Luv Ya! Luv Ya! by Aprille 
Clarke
2)  Child's Sacred Place by LaShelle Christensen
3)  The Fatal Human Ghandhi Death Bullet Destroyer by Mose 
Hayward
4)  For My Silly Willie! by Neil "Balls" Campbell
5)  One Art--after Jed Rasula by Carolyn Space Jacobson
6)  Judas Tree by Chris Offutt and Ben Schmidt
7)  Cheyenne by Dan Brooks
8)  Carson Daly or The Young and The Worthless by Michael 
Rothschild
9)  Pancakes or Bust by Willie Barbour
10) At the Still End of the Hall by Elevator Shoes
11) I Am Kyle Lang.  Yes, Kyle Lang.  I Swear.  Kyle! ...Lang??
by Higgity. By Piggity and Riggity.  By Miggity Biggities.  And 
William Shakespeare
12) The BBC and BB King.  Harry Truman.  Mose and Louie.  Dig 
It! by Jamal "Areli" River
13) Mothers:  Can't Live With Them, Can't Achieve Orgasm Without 
Fantasizing About Them Staring at You by Arlen Lawson
14) Play King Mueller's K'ak by Josh Kozuh
15) A Mickey Mouse Cartoon a horror story by Chris Stangl

Time: Sun, 16-Apr-2000 05:08:17 GMT     IP: 209.253.147.32

I don't know who they were, some people behind us. I'm sure they 
know who they are, being as "offended" as they could be by the 
very creative pieces that made up the bulk of No Shame. Choruses 
of "That's so wrong" and "That's oh so wrong" just made my day. 

Now, the other person, whom I do know who it is, well, sorta, was 
Ben's friend, the guy who did the piece about trees and paper and 
all that. Which was good, mind you. But he showed major 
disrespect to the other performers last night by drinking an 
entire bottle of wine with Ben, and catching up with an old 
friend of his and the guy's daughter. 

I know I'm bitching, and I apologize. I really enjoyed No Shame. 
I could just do without the few rude audience members. 

Time: Sun, 16-Apr-2000 07:50:35 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.64

lsjnv  kjlhvs powjk  wepoj   pppppooooooooooooohhhhh


  hhhhhh[plkdv 
[
  jji reva' pijav 'paoj [oaf joaij 'p   rude?  iausghdv;oi 
ioiwe98ful /;kajbv ;lsdj a;sojv sa;dlvk 



              EVBH   No, not rude!  sdik isahvosisiofh ouh 
iushtbkjnh aouyg ;iu harg ikual;herg o;haergoihaoijh [oqiehrgoi 
ahgi[auhg [uaehrbg;kjabr ;gkjbd krgb;oair
'ew 




        Your friend and, yes, lover,
                                  ;kswdvf

Time: Sun, 16-Apr-2000 07:55:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.64

   What?  No songity album?
   Is there no songity album
   What's this I don't hear about a Songity album in the album?
   Why has the talk of songity album dried up?
   Where is all the gossip about a songity?
   Gossip, schmossip.  I prefer pork songities.
   Wap debee songity!!!!!!!!



             That is all,
                       Arlend

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 02:55:57 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.41


What rude people?  Whatd they do?

I was quite distracted by the weirdo sitting behind me.  
Throughout the show he would wiggle a weird red leather claw-
thing at the back of my head.  He also burped repeatedly and made 
quacking noises when the lights went down.  After each burp, the 
girl next to me said "Eeew!", which I'm sure made him happy.
Other than that, the show was pretty okay.  Being in the lounge 
at 9:45 and STILL not getting the in order was enough to dampen 
my spirits, but hey - that's alright.  Whatever.
-Jessica

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 03:31:46 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.82

Get those cards and letters going cause the boards-a-meetin, and 
your input may be lost!  What do you, the No Shame esthetes want 
from your Best of Monster?  

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 03:45:46 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.173

4-14

1)  Nerdy Humor for the ISCA Crowd.  Luv Ya! Luv Ya! by Aprille 
Clarke

The funny moment in this piece was when the characters said, after 
about the first page, something like "maybe now we're ready to 
stop referring to each other in the third person." The rest of the 
skit seemed to sort of hinge around that bit, while it was funny 
at points, it never fully developed for me.

2)  Child's Sacred Place by LaShelle Christensen

Here's a surprise: There was a big shitty fuckload of filth on 
Friday, and the first skit my mom complains about having had to 
sit through was this one.

3)  The Fatal Human Ghandhi Death Bullet Destroyer by Mose 
Hayward

I skinned my arm! I must learn to do prat falls properly. Or make 
someone else do them for me.

4)  For My Silly Willie! by Neil "Balls" Campbell

Unnecessarily gross.

5)  One Art--after Jed Rasula by Carolyn Space Jacobson

I was really excited to see a skit by the infamous Carolyn Space. 
I really wanted to like it, too, but I could only comprehend 
parts, cause the delivery effect was just too heavy-handed.

6)  Judas Tree by Chris Offutt and Ben Schmidt

Ben's music, as always, was a pleasure. The story was interesting 
for me. I was engaged. My hippy parents loved it. Very Thoreau. I 
think it was a little repetitive, in parts, and though I 
understand this may have been intentional, it bored me a tiny bit 
toward the end.

7)  Cheyenne by Dan Brooks

Dan likes to do a rushed pace, monotone delivery from time to 
time. This time, it was so rushed I actually had trouble following 
it. Also, it seemed Dan had more to say, and more could be done, 
with the water-Stanislavski bit, but then, as I indicated, I 
probably missed something.

8)  Carson Daly or The Young and The Worthless by Michael 
Rothschild

I have long had a suspicion that Rothschild is capable of writing 
kind of funny. This was upheld for me, sort of, by the first half 
of the skit, which Balls performed very well. The second half just 
got weird and less funny. Also, I do have a dirty lust for parody 
humor, but MTV and stardom in general just seem worthless objects 
of ridicule. Because they're not important and nobody gives a 
fuck.
        Also, I've never seen Carson Daly. Stangl and River inform 
me that Carson's just a boring 20-something, not the obnoxious 
arrogant slob the parody portrayed. Which makes the whole thing 
weird.

9)  Pancakes or Bust by Willie Barbour

Very very long.

12) The BBC and BB King.  Harry Truman.  Mose and Louie.  Dig 
It! by Jamal "Areli" River

Jamal "Areli" River and I went to elementary school together and 
share debilitating subconscious issues founded on the late 
"Fumerton." I guess it's an inside joke. It could be a whole 
inside movie.

XXXX)
Everybody has to use pseudonyms now, and weird titles, so I'm not 
sure which skit I'm talking about, but the carrot in the butt line 
was very funny. (Mark Hansen's?) Then someone made a comment about 
the waitress eating the carrot, then the waitress walked out 
eating the carrot. The comedy would have been cleaner if it had 
simply been "What is that carrot doing in your butt?" then the 
waitress walks out eating the carrot.

:15) A Mickey Mouse Cartoon a horror story by Chris Stangl
     Classic bits in this were the mouse scrotum sack, the 
rubber Walt pants, the pocketful of snack turds_ many more I now 
forget. I felt the audience cringe when the early picture of 
culturally beloved Mickey Mouse was compared to the early Negro 
boy cartoon. Chris' old-man mannerisms were come-and-go, though 
this didn't detract much from the solid writing.


In all, I found it a disappointing evening of No Shame, especially 
after last week's spectacular show, which I never reviewed. 
Highlights then were Dan Brooks' obese, loud "Date me!"; Briana's 
well-acted caffeine-stimulated, emotionally heavy giddiness; and 
Stangl's "art" "play" "dramatic" "theatre" skit. In Jamal's team 
floor-licking depantsing I would have loved to have seen 
non-regulars conned into the humiliation-art.

-- Mose

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 04:31:50 GMT     IP: 24.10.172.239

So, I hear best of is a-comin up, and I says to myself, why not 
say which stuffs was the bestest this season, so's they may be 
in that order?  So's here's they's is.  An' no, I is not joking: 
I will cry if all of these wonderful and magical and greatest 
bits of theater is not in bestestestestestest of nigity shigity.

1.  Puncheroo.  By Jamal River
1.5.  Acceptance.  By Josh Vander Ploeg
2.  The Recycled Substitute.  By Nick Clark
3.  Dead Turtle.  By Chris Stangl
4.  Fashion Model Superstar.  By Mose Hayward
5.  The Jiggy Jenga.  By Arlen Lawson and Jamal River
6.  The Windfall Syndrome.  By Arlen Lawson
7.  To the Sun.  By Chris Stangl
8.  Chixx, Part 2: Dead People Ain't Got No Reason to Live.      
By  Mark Hansen
9.  Snow in April Means We'll All Die Soon.  By Mike Cassady
10.  The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lange (Egg's song).  
By   Al Angel
11.  I Am Ojay!  Kill My Pants!  By Dan Brooks
12.  There's a Little Man in My Head.  By Aprille Clarke
13.  The Masturbation Sketch.  By Edward Irving and Al Angel
13.5.  Egg.  By Jar Jar Lawson.
14.  You Reek of the Future.  By Balls Campbell
15.  Girls Who Crave Kant.  By Meredith Nepsted.

--Al, surrogate mother to the pope, and also martha washington

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 05:59:26 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.181

Josh Kozuh is not a pseudonym, as he is a real person, not only real in the sense that he actually
exists but also real in the sense that he wrote the wonderful skit, "King Mueller's K'ak." Anyone
interested in seeing the real King Mueller should check out the pictures of all the old wrestlers on
the walls of Joe's Place, he's in there somewhere. And anyone interested in hearing the real really
really real Josh Kozuh should listen to KRUI tuesday nights 11-1, in which he does use a
pseudonym, JockoJocko Football Inflation. (I was told afterward that pretty much all of the skit
was made up of inside jokes between Josh and his visiting friends from Chicago, in which case I
think it worked surprisingly well, much like Jamal's.)

Mark 

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 10:16:02 GMT     IP: 152.163.213.69

Does anyone out there have a Santa suit?
Does anyone know where I could borrow one before Friday night?

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 13:59:20 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.190

:Does anyone out there have a Santa suit?
:
Does anyone know where I could borrow one before Friday night?

Try Aero-Rental--they often has stuff like this for not much cash.

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 14:28:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:5)  One Art--after Jed Rasula by Carolyn Space Jacobson
:
:I was really excited to see a skit by the infamous Carolyn Space. 
:I really wanted to like it, too, but I could only comprehend 
:parts, cause the delivery effect was just too heavy-handed.

Point of clarification--I was working from very specific phonetic 
instructions.  It was all spelled out exactly as I was saying it.  
Not sure if that's what you meant by delivery effect.  The only 
thing I can take credit for is not making as much eye contact as I 
generally like to, because it's hard to memorize that kind of 
speech syllable for syllable.

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 16:48:44 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.161

I like Al's B.O. nominations. Except for I don't remember what 
pieces go with some of the titles listed.
:
:1.  Puncheroo.  By Jamal River
I'm glad you nominated this, Al. I thought it was probably forgot. 
It was about my favorite piece I did this semester. Of course, my 
FAVORITE was the follow-the-leader thing, but I bet the board 
doesn't think that would work a second time. I could make it work, 
though, I telly you! Pick it! I will make it fun 4 you! But 
otherwise I like Puncheroo.
:1.5.  Acceptance.  By Josh Vander Ploeg
I strongly second this nomination. Strongly.
:2.  The Recycled Substitute.  By Nick Clark
I don't know what piece this was. I liked the Nick piece where 
Nick shuffled around the stage and said a seemingly unrelated 
thing in each place he stopped. If that's what this was, great.
:3.  Dead Turtle.  By Chris Stangl
I think the funnest funniest Chris was the Mickey Mouse monologue 
from Friday. That's what _I_ think.
:4.  Fashion Model Superstar.  By Mose Hayward
I agree.  funn-e.
:5.  The Jiggy Jenga.  By Arlen Lawson and Jamal River
Could take it or leave it. From what I'm told, the music was an 
echoey blur, and I don't think people would laugh at the dancing 
so much a second time.
:6.  The Windfall Syndrome.  By Arlen Lawson
You really wanna make Arlen puke again, Al? Yeah, me too.
:7.  To the Sun.  By Chris Stangl
Ahem... MICKEY MOUSE. 
:8.  Chixx, Part 2: Dead People Ain't Got No Reason to Live.      
:By  Mark Hansen
Yeah. Real good. I likED!
:9.  Snow in April Means We'll All Die Soon.  By Mike Cassady
I'll second that, too.
:10.  The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lange (Egg's song).  
:By   Al Angel
Yep. Best Of plEASE!
:11.  I Am Ojay!  Kill My Pants!  By Dan Brooks
This or that other Dan skit from this semester.
:12.  There's a Little Man in My Head.  By Aprille Clarke
I don't know what this was. I liked the Serial Killer monologue. 
Was this that? I don't know.
:13.  The Masturbation Sketch.  By Edward Irving and Al Angel
I nominate you song, AL! I'm only gonna nominate one piece per 
person, cuz (despite the notion that Best Of isn't s'posed to be 
"March of the No Shame Regulars") as Stangl pointed out, there are 
already way more than 15 ...frequent perfomers who are gonna want 
a piece of their's in this season's edition of "Regulars on 
Parade".  
:13.5.  Egg.  By Jar Jar Lawson.
I don't think this would work again. And I guess I just said I was 
only nominating one piece per person. But whatever, I second the 
nomination.
:14.  You Reek of the Future.  By Balls Campbell
This was the one where they 'tarded Aaron, right? Right? I loved 
that one.
:15.  Girls Who Crave Kant.  By Meredith Nepsted.
Yeah, that was good. Didn't Allison co-write it? or not?
Also, I really really liked that Josh fella's carrot-up-the-butt 
piece. (Though the it's namesake was my least favorite part of the 
skit. For reasons Mose pointed out.)
Probably some other stuff too! But maybe not!

-jamal

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 16:55:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.179

Some brief personal opinions on the show:

A) I dug Carolyn's piece, although once again I seem to be 
expressing the minority opinion. Granted, I was extremely biased 
toward it ahead of time, but I put forth the following facts in 
its defense: 1) It was short. Like maybe a minute, tops. For a 
minute of your life, you can't complain much. More importantly, 
2) it tried to do a little phonetic recreation of English. I'm a 
big fan of popping the hood on our stupid 1800s-based language 
and playing with the engine. If left to choose between a funny 
but fairly standard issue No Shame piece (two dumb guys onstage, 
something out of the ordinary happens, somebody eats a baby/a 
bug/feces, a woman comes on, a mildly mysoginistic joke is made, 
the woman exits, both guys look at the audience and a joke about 
the piece's lack of a true ending is made, blackout) and this, I 
would choose this.

B) Stangl's piece was particularly well-structured. (It was good, 
too, but that's generally a given.) The Mickey Mouse/cariacature 
of a black kid resmblence is disturbing, and I'd like to know if 
that's Chris's own observation or a widely regarded phenomenon.

C) Stop complaining about not getting in. Or rather, complain all 
you want online, but don't complain to me in the lounge or loudly 
to your friend when I walk by. It makes me feel bad. My extreme 
distaste for having any sort of position of authority is well-
documented, and having to turn away my friends and friendly-
acquaintances from performing is hard enough without hearing them 
be all upset about it later. Tears moisten my keyboard.

D) If you're a regular performer but you're not in any pieces 
that night, please give us a dollar. Contrary to popular belief, 
we do have to make a _little_ money every night. I know I let my 
brother in free. I also put a dollar in the kitty at the end of 
the night.

E) Five minutes, goddammit! I don't care how good it is!

F) On a personal note, next week is my last real No Shame. Now 
that I've alienated all with my rules-oriented proclamations, 
please feel sorry for me.
Also, the record for most-pieces-involved-in in a single night is 
eight. I'm not asking anyone to write stupid cameo appearances 
for me into their pieces, but it sure would be nice to break that 
record on my last night. Ah well. Sigh. Guess it wouldn't happen. 
Sigh. Plaintive look.

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 17:06:01 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.161


:
:A) I dug Carolyn's piece, although once again I seem to be 
:expressing the minority opinion.

I liked this piece, too. I couldn't always understand what was 
being said, but the way it sounded was interesting enough for me 
to enjoy this quite a bit. See, Dan! I can appreciate artsy stuff, 
too! (Almost as much as I appreciate dumb guys eating bugs and 
babies and, yes, even poop.)

Also: I revoke my nomination of "Puncheroo" and replace it with 
"The Worst Thing Ever", from last sememster's dead week. THAT was 
my best piece (other than follow-that-lead-o) 

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 17:49:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.221

I agree with a lot of Al's picks for BONS...except the part about 
me not having a piece in it. That part I disagree with quite a 
bit. I know I didn't write that much this semester (also didn't 
get in the order at least twice, which cuts down on the number of 
pieces I dided) but I think I had some good stuff. I think the 
Scottish Soccer Hooligan deserves to be given life once more, I 
also liked the first piece of the semester I did, the one about 
me dying. I might post the script on the page, so y'all can 
remember how good it/I was/am.

mike

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 20:26:47 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

Turns out my memory sucks.  So though I laughed muchly at various 
times this semester, I couldn't tell you what was what now.  
Except for one heretofore (far as I can tell) unrecommended piece 
which I would like to see again:

Vulnerability : Feelings, by Mr. Kyle Lange.

-Adam

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 20:58:54 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.110



Dan, I hope I didn't upset you with my complaints about not 
getting in the order--I tried to reserve my comments to times 
when I didn't think you were around, and really only considered 
your castration once or twice...  

In seriousness, if I said or did anything to offend you, I'm very 
sorry.  No Shame is as it is for a reason--one that greater 
structure, I suspect, will ruin.  Thus, I am willing to accept 
the occasional perrils of a less-than-equitable system for the 
greater good of a spontaneous night.  Dan, you can hardly be to 
blame for line-dodging and general rudeness, though your distaste 
for posititons of athority does not excuse you said position's 
natural repercussions--you have to admit that you've benefited 
from your appointment of "order control" once or twice (and, as 
much as you deny it, the power is pretty cool) and thus must 
accept some scorn from time to time, misdirected or not.   (It's 
not YOU they are upset with, it's what you have chosen to 
represent.)  That said, you have done a remarkable job at the 
unfortunate task of keeping No Shame to a manageable lenghth, and 
for that you deserve much thanks.  

So, thanks.

Otherwise, I completely agree with everything you've ever said 
ever.  Except for that thing about Cassady and the sheep.  That's 
just wrong.
 

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 21:15:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

I think it would be pretty cool if the people who got there 
earlier were the people whose pieces made it into the order.  Of 
course, that would mean something akin to taking numbers as you 
walked into the lounge, and then it would be like "I came in at 
6pm and took my number and then went to dinner and came back at 
10:25pm so I should get to submit my piece first," leading to 
rules about staying and guarding your spot, etc., etc.

OR the person taking pieces, instead of dealing with a big messy 
misrepresentative line, could simply say, "okay, who was here 
first?" and then "who was here next?" and so forth.  If someone 
said they were next when in fact someone else was there before 
them, that someone else would speak up.  It's a combination of 
honor system and setting the priorities.  As in, the priority is 
"when did you get here" rather than "were you able to get to the 
front of the line quicker when Dan called for a line even though 
you got there ten minutes ago and other people were there half an 
hour before you but who's going to form an actual standing line 
that early so they just sat down and aren't you lucky to profit 
from that."

Just a thought.

-Adam

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 21:19:16 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.110

I'm curious about what others think about some of my favorites 
that haven't got much play yet:

1)  Jamal's dead week romp, which I can't think about without 
peeing my pants.

2)  Mose's music stand bit about preparing for foreign study.

3)  Al's rapid fire word-play piece about masturbation.

4)  The "Feather-duster" piece from Chris Stangl (which obviously 
works well in Maibe)

5)  The Stubble-Lane mimes that kill each other piece.

6)  Kyle's "I'm Fucking Your Daughter" song

7)  Merideth's three odes to rabbit-love.

8)  The fart piece that Jamal had Kelli Rae Powell do.

9)  Aprille's "The key to happiness is at the end of the chorus" 
song.

10)  Erwin's space-monkey masturbation sketch with stubble

11)  Mark Hansen's melodica scale piece

Any thoughts?

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 21:39:55 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:I'm curious about what others think about some of my favorites 
:that haven't got much play yet:
:
:1)  Jamal's dead week romp, which I can't think about without 
:peeing my pants.

Remind me which one this was?  (that bad memory, ya know)

:2)  Mose's music stand bit about preparing for foreign study.

YESYESYES!!!


-Adam

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 21:46:46 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.94

Best of No Shame Picks:

1. The clear hands-down winner for skit that made me laugh the 
hardest was KEVIN WALL'S RENDITION OF RENT. This *must* be in 
Best of. It could lose the staged fight, though.

2. Kyle's best skit was his VULNERABILITAY. Super-extra funny, 
and one of the best performances of the season.

3. Is it really necessary to remind everyone that Chris Stangl 
was at his funniest sticking a feather-duster up his ass, 
dribbling a basketball, and shouting "NO SHAME!"? Stangl's DEAD 
TURTLE that composes symphonies was also his best. If both skits 
aren't included in Best of, I shall boycott. Except I forgot 
SYLVIA PLATH AND THE GOOFY GAS LEAK, with two Brits fucking a 
dead writer in the armpits.

4. Kevin, Bill, Dan, and Justin's GRACE was superb, though I 
don't expect them to perform it again. Just thought it needed 
mentioning.

5. Aprille's Clarke's discussion of serial killers was my 
favorite Aprille.

6. There must be a Ben Schmidt performance. I think Tuesday was 
my favorite, but I'd have to hear all of them again, cause I 
forget.

7. Jamal River's "BRONTOSAUR" a.k.a. the skit where everyone 
licked the floor and depantsed themselves was probably my 
favorite River piece. We should take his word for it that he can 
make it interesting a second time.

8. The Chris O. LOVE odyssey and maybe the CHICAGO clubbing story 
should be included. My favorite script was probably the LOVE 
odyssey, and it was superbly performed.

9. So Briana's only written one skit (that I know of). I still 
think "PACIFIER BLUES" was an excellent, cleanly written piece 
with an engaging performance. Plus, there was little audience 
that night, and it deserves to be seen again.

10. Hemmingway and Faulkner from Feb. 18. Was that Justin Rose's 
MEN WITHOUT WOMEN? I forget.

11. I thought my STUDYING A BROAD, FRENCH COWHOLE (where I fell 
over a music stand and stapled things to testicles) was funnier 
than the nominated "Do you want my Sexy Sex?" monologue. But 
perhaps I'm wrong.

12. Dan Brooks' DATE ME! was perhaps his funniest.

13. Mike Cassidy and company's musical poetry thing was fantastic 
and absolutely must be included.

I have already mentioned over fifteen, and there are many more 
worthy pieces, but I'll stop here. I'm lazy. Sorry to those I 
inadvertently left off.

Mose

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 21:53:15 GMT     IP: 209.56.125.110

:
:1)  Jamal's dead week romp, which I can't think about without 
:
:peeing my pants.
:

:
Remind me which one this was?  (that bad memory, ya know)
:


Adam, kiddo, this was the one YOU were in, the "Oh, my lordy--Oh, 
my lordy--oh, you..." one, not to give away one of many terrific 
bits.  It was dead week last semester, and it SLAYED me.

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 21:56:09 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.94

::5)  One Art--after Jed Rasula by Carolyn Space Jacobson
::
::I was really excited to see a skit by the infamous Carolyn 
Space. 
::I really wanted to like it, too, but I could only comprehend 
::parts, cause the delivery effect was just too heavy-handed.
:
:Point of clarification--I was working from very specific phonetic 
:instructions.  It was all spelled out exactly as I was saying it. 
 
:Not sure if that's what you meant by delivery effect.  The only 
:thing I can take credit for is not making as much eye contact as 
I 
:generally like to, because it's hard to memorize that kind of 
:speech syllable for syllable.


Yeah, I assumed that the "delivery effect" was of the author's 
devising, not yours, and I imagine it was difficult to 
correctly vocalize. In that context, it was an impressive 
performance.

Mose

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 23:51:33 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.30

Firstly, I wanna say that I, too, thought that Brontosaur wsa 
Jamal's best this season, but I had my doubts as to how good it 
would be the second time around (for the same reason, after 
careful consideration, I am agreeing with Jamal and withdrawing my 
nomination for Jar Jar's "Egg").
Secondly, Everything I nominated what I felt were the best/most 
enjoyable pieces of the season, regardless of who wrote them.  I, 
personally, do not give a damn how many times I nominate any 
particular person.  I think that Best Of should be determined by 
merit, and not by the number of performers.  It was said last term 
that if the board should choose pieces solely for quality, then 
the evening would have consisted almost entirely of Ball's work.  
So what?  Balls wrote consistantly fantastic stuff last term and a 
show devoted to him could not have helped but have been pure 
hilarity, as opposed to a lot of the crap that got in last term.  
So, nya.  If I didn't nominate you, don't be sad.  Fifteen (give 
or take two short pieces) is a small number.  Also, in place of 
Egg, I would like to nominate Balls' Bittersweet Winter Night.

:I'm curious about what others think about some of my favorites 
:that haven't got much play yet:
:
:1)  Jamal's dead week romp, which I can't think about without 
:peeing my pants.
You know, I never saw this.  If it truly is this great, then you 
have my support in putting it in.
:2)  Mose's music stand bit about preparing for foreign study.
Did not see this either.
:3)  Al's rapid fire word-play piece about masturbation.
I liked this one a lot.  My favorite of my stuff.
:4)  The "Feather-duster" piece from Chris Stangl (which obviously 
:works well in Maibe)
I liked, but didn't really touch my Top 15.
:5)  The Stubble-Lane mimes that kill each other piece.
See #4.
:6)  Kyle's "I'm Fucking Your Daughter" song
Hackneyed and boring.  Put this in and I'll rub a booger in your 
hair.
:7)  Merideth's three odes to rabbit-love.
Yes, this was very good.  BUT, see #5.
:8)  The fart piece that Jamal had Kelli Rae Powell do.
I only very very vaugly remember this.
:9)  Aprille's "The key to happiness is at the end of the chorus" 
:song.
Don't remember.  Was this the "Low Standards" song?  I was okay.
:10)  Erwin's space-monkey masturbation sketch with stubble
Didn't care for it very much.
:11)  Mark Hansen's melodica scale piece
Funny, but nnot in the illustrious Top 15.
:Any thoughts?
Um, Yeah: BUTT IN YOUR PIE!!!!
--Al

Time: Mon, 17-Apr-2000 23:58:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.130

:Josh Kozuh is not a pseudonym, as he is a real person, not only 
real in the sense that he actually exists but also real in the 
sense that he wrote the wonderful skit, "King Mueller's K'ak." 
Anyone interested in seeing the real King Mueller should check out 
the pictures of all the old wrestlers on the walls of Joe's Place, 
he's in there somewhere. And anyone interested in hearing the real 
really really real Josh Kozuh should listen to KRUI tuesday nights 
11-1, in which he does use a pseudonym, JockoJocko Football 
Inflation. (I was told afterward that pretty much all of the skit 
was made up of inside jokes between Josh and his visiting friends 
from Chicago, in which case I think it worked surprisingly well, 
much like Jamal's.)
:
:Mark 
:

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 00:39:25 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.186

I went through and found a few pieces I liked that weren't 
mentioned.

Mike Cassidy's "it's a nightmare, really" song
Horak's speech impediment shakespeare piece made me crap myself
Kyle's steven hawking thing...
Arlen's Dr. No song
Human Trilogy by Ho! (i never saw it, which is why I want to see 
it now, and the HT was so good.

anyway...

echoing Dan's point...I'd like to go out wiht a bang at my last 
NS so if you're writing a sketch, think of a short Jew named 
Mike. I know I am...for the piece I'm writing...

oi!

mike

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 00:55:38 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:Secondly, Everything I nominated what I felt were the best/most 
:enjoyable pieces of the season, regardless of who wrote them.  I, 
:personally, do not give a damn how many times I nominate any 
:particular person.  I think that Best Of should be determined by 
:merit, and not by the number of performers.

I wholeheartedly agree that Best Of should be about assembling a 
damn fine show, and that sometimes other factors get in the way of 
that, which is too bad.  In a well-populated Mabie Theatre there 
will be about 200 people who didn't see Skit X (in other words, 
approximately 140 people saw each piece the first time around, but 
the rest didn't), and I want to see the show that makes THEM have 
a great time more than I want to see a show of favorites based on 
who did what, or on inside jokes if the jokes aren't clear to 
"outsiders."  Choosing Best Of pieces CAN be about people in a 
way, if someone does lots of good stuff and it's just a matter of 
choosing which of their pieces gets in.  But it's really not about 
that person, it's about their pieces.  Or should be.

-Adam

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 03:27:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.102

Damn these ITC computers!  I had this all typed out and was ready 
to click the "Post Message" button when the damn thing shut down.  
Let's try this one more time...
Here's what I'd like to see at Best of No Shame:
1. Look!  There's a Spider on Your Catch Phrase! by Aaron 
Galbraith and Kehry Lane
     Very enjoyable.  I recall tummy cramps from laughing too 
hard.
2.  This is the Face of Erectile Dysfunction by Mike !Erectile! 
Cassady and James !Dysfunction! Erwin
     I recently read this script in the script library and 
remembered how much I loved it.
3.  Vulnerability: Feelings by Kyle Lange
     No explanation is necessary.
4.  A Bittersweet Winter Night by Neil "Balls" Campbell
     Neil doesn't usually do personal-type monologues.  I think 
that's why I liked this so much, whether or not it was true.
5.  A Morality Love Song Without a Moral or Firebugs, Eat my Shit 
-OR- Wipe a Giggle with a Smile both by Mike Cassady
     I can't remember which one was "But I love you" and which was 
"It's a nightmare, really" or if they were actually these songs, 
but whatever.  I'm pretty sure they were and I'm nominating them 
because I liked them both, so there.
6.  Dead Turtle by Chris Stangl
     Hilarious.  My favorite piece of Chris Stangl's.
7.  Self-Explanitory by Kyle Lange
     The "I'm fucking your daughter" song.  Loved it.
8.  You Reek of the Future by Neil "Balls" Campbell
     Awesome.  I loved it lots.  I loved it more when I saw 
Brianna wearing the vest the next day.
9.  Chixx, Part Two:  Dead People Got No Reason to Live by Ryan 
Greenlaw and Mark J. Hansen
     Lovely.  Just lovely.  "Unhand you, me!" was my favorite 
line.  I never thought it was a fuck-up.
10.  Snow in April Means We'll All Die Soon or The Pen is 
Mightier Than This Poem.  A delightful little something by:  Mike 
"Warrior Princess" Cassady
     Excellent.  Magnificent.  I'm running out of adjectives that 
mean good.  You get the point.
11.  A Song by Ben Schmidt
     Ben needs titles to help us remember what was what.  
Something by Ben, please.
12.  Grace by Dan Brooks, Bill Bungeroth, Justin Rose, and Kevin 
Wall
     Wouldn't it be funny for them to have to blow out enough eggs 
for everyone at Best Of?  No?  I didn't think so either.  I 
really liked the monologues that went with this and I'd like to 
hear them again.

And that is what I think.  Let's see if this damn computer works.
-Jessica

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 04:09:56 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

if one of my pieces has to be in BONS, i'd like the one about how to deliver a baby.  If not that
one, the one about how to cook bagels is a close second.  The one about how to cook an egg is
third.

                                         I like chris stangls piece about how to die when the sun exploides the
best of any piece ever.  Second is his one about how to make a vagina out of a penis.

                                               I liked moses thing about how to be mose, on a talk show.

                                          I liked EVERYTHING aprille did this semester.  This were a good
semester for her.  Especially I liked the three part mono where one of the sections was about two
russian friends.  No I cannot remember anything more specific about it, except that it made me
laugh out all the moisture from my body.  By the end Mark found me in a plastic bag labelled "just
add water".
                                                Jamals thing that was the worst ever.
                                                 Mark and ryans chixx pt. 2.
                                                Arlen's and jamals Jiggy jenga!
                                                        mike's song with mario and sax guy.
                                                        Ben doing any song but the tedious tree thing he did on
friday.
                                                I remember laughing my hardest at a james horak piece this
semester, but what was it?  I donno.
                                                        Any piece with dancing in it.  Like maybe jessica ahrendt's
thing with the newspaper.
                                                        Raphzkhaelled's thing about his future                                    
                  Balls' thing from last week                                                   Willies thing from last
week.                                                     Love ya.     Mega-Lucre$nick

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 13:23:25 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

I was sure that I had mentioned this, but I guess I had not.  Al's egg song.                                      
        :if one of my pieces has to be in BONS, i'd like the one about how to deliver a baby.  If not
that one, the one about how to cook bagels is a close second.  The one about how to cook an egg
is third.

                                         I like chris stangls piece about how to die when the sun exploides the
best of any piece ever.  Second is his one about how to make a vagina out of a penis.

                                               I liked moses thing about how to be mose, on a talk show.

                                          I liked EVERYTHING aprille did this semester.  This were a good
semester for her.  Especially I liked the three part mono where one of the sections was about two
russian friends.  No I cannot remember anything more specific about it, except that it made me
laugh out all the moisture from my body.  By the end Mark found me in a plastic bag labelled "just
add water".
                                                Jamals thing that was the worst ever.
                                                 Mark and ryans chixx pt. 2.
                                                Arlen's and jamals Jiggy jenga!
                                                        mike's song with mario and sax guy.
                                                        Ben doing any song but the tedious tree thing he did on
friday.
                                                I remember laughing my hardest at a james horak piece this
semester, but what was it?  I donno.
                                                        Any piece with dancing in it.  Like maybe jessica ahrendt's
thing with the newspaper.
                                                        Raphzkhaelled's thing about his future                                    
                  Balls' thing from last week                                                   Willies thing from last
week.                                                     Love ya.     Mega-Lucre$nick

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 14:09:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

Did I ever mention how much I liked Mose's piece with the music 
stand, and how if anyone could repeat a piece, he could?

I hope I did.

But I also liked the model piece, different without the haircut 
but still would love to see it again.  That part about sneaking 
glances at each other was so on target.  Capturing a moment is a 
great thing.  So either one would be great to see again.

-Adam

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 16:33:21 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

Posted on ISCA:

Contrary to previous, well-intentioned posts, the BONS board
meeting/haggle will be Thursday, not tonight.  Still have time 
to say what you liked or didn't, or what you liked or didn't 
about what other people liked or didn't, or whatever. 

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 19:39:36 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.132

ROTHSCHIBBY WROTE:

:I think the Scottish Soccer Hooligan deserves to be given life 
:once more

NOT BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE ROTH WROTE:

lemme get this straight...

  you me   an that one character Mike Meyers used to do on 
saturday night live"? the one that smashed beer cans against his 
forehead and head-butted     people?  the one that you previously 
"gave life" by lifting wholesale from a piss-     water 
television show that hasn't been funny in 30 years, without so 
much as an inventive twist or wry "I-know-I'm-swiping-ain't-I-a-
stinker" wink at the audience and passed off as your own work?  
the one that wasn't
funny and plagiaristic the first time, was plagiaristic and 
tedious and embarrassing the second time... you want to do it a 
THIRD time?  that one?

buttinsky

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 22:16:36 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.35

:ROTHSCHIBBY WROTE:
:
::I think the Scottish Soccer Hooligan deserves to be given life 
::once more
:
:NOT BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE ROTH WROTE:
:
:lemme get this straight...
:
:  you me   an that one character Mike Meyers used to do on 
:saturday night live"? the one that smashed beer cans against his 
:forehead and head-butted     people?  the one that you previously 
:"gave life" by lifting wholesale from a piss-     water 
:television show that hasn't been funny in 30 years, without so 
:much as an inventive twist or wry "I-know-I'm-swiping-ain't-I-a-
:stinker" wink at the audience and passed off as your own work?  
:the one that wasn't
:funny and plagiaristic the first time, was plagiaristic and 
:tedious and embarrassing the second time... you want to do it a 
:THIRD time?  that one?

Yes. I do. 
You know what they say: the lesser ones borrow, the great ones 
steal.
I also don't believe Mr. Meyers shouted

MAN U!!
MAN U!!

So case closed.
And sit on it. Eyyyyyy.

Time: Tue, 18-Apr-2000 22:27:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.35

:ROTHSCHIBBY WROTE:
:
::I think the Scottish Soccer Hooligan deserves to be given life 
::once more
:
:NOT BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE ROTH WROTE:
:
:lemme get this straight...
:
:  you me   an that one character Mike Meyers used to do on 
:saturday night live"? the one that smashed beer cans against his 
:forehead and head-butted     people?  the one that you previously 
:"gave life" by lifting wholesale from a piss-     water 
:television show that hasn't been funny in 30 years, without so 
:much as an inventive twist or wry "I-know-I'm-swiping-ain't-I-a-
:stinker" wink at the audience and passed off as your own work?  
:the one that wasn't
:funny and plagiaristic the first time, was plagiaristic and 
:tedious and embarrassing the second time... you want to do it a 
:THIRD time?  that one?
:
:buttinsky

Actually, to clarify:

the Scottish hooligan wasn't based on Mike Myers. I didn't even 
think about that character until later, and I didn't really see a 
lot of similiarities, other than being Scottish and liking 
football. the character was based much more on my recently 
re-reading Trainspotting, and incorporating the intricacies of 
the character's speech patterns and their love for the fitba. It 
was also based on experiences I had in pubs in Edinburgh watching 
World Cup matches in which the Scotland squad was playing.

If you'll remember, the language of the Hooligan is much coarser 
than the Myers character, and that character incorporated a 
vomiting device which I did not. that sketch also had another 
football hooligan with whom the Myers character debated the merits 
of various Scotland squads/vomitted on. My hooligan character had 
no such foil, and was instead places in situations where he was a 
fish out of water, mining comedy from the contrasts between him 
and the other characters. I'm sorry if you didn't find it funny, 
but a lot of people did, and I don't think the merits or lack of 
merits of a piece can be decided by the contrasting opinions of 
one person who didn't enjoy said piece.

m

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 02:46:45 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.208

My pixx:
Cassady as Gertrude Stein.
Worst Thing Ever.
Dead Turtle
Fashion Model Superstar
Masturbation sketch by Al
You Reek of the Future
Song by Ben
Gay Robot on Fire
Nick's how to make an egg
Arlen's song (Tree Flowers?)
Chixx Two
Kyle's Vulnerability
Girls who crave Kant
King Mueller's K'ak
Human Trilogy
add yours here!!!!

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 03:59:59 GMT     IP: 64.6.68.45

I've decided to nominate you.  Look below.


Look! There's a Spider on Your Catch Phrase!-by Aaron Galbraith 
and Kehry Lane

The "Archie" Comic Strip from Tuesday, May 11, 1982-by Arlen 
Lawson

Two Terrible Mistakes from Manhattan-by Danger Brooks

Love and Other Four Letter Words-by Chris Okiishi

The Worst Thing Ever-by Jamal River

Vulnerability: Feelings-by Kyle Lange

Better than a Man in that Respect-by Mark Hansen

Human Trilogy-by Ho!

Much Ado About Urine-by Aprille Clarke

Colon?  It Killed Them Both!!-by Al Angel

The Recycled Substitute-by Your Mom, Nick Clark

School for a Fashion Model Superstar-by Mose Hayward

Personally, I would prefer to hear "Firebugs, Eat My Shit" by 
Mike Cassady again, but I think he would rather do "Snow in April 
Means We'll All Die Soon," and that's just fine as well.

Here are some songs I'd like to hear again.  I know I've already 
nominated some of the following artists, but what the hell, I say 
they deserve to be nominated more than once, futile as that may 
be!

Smackie. Smackie. Smick. Kip.-by Jamal River

The Jiggy Jenga-by Jamal and Arlen

Catcher in the Rye?  I hardly know her in the rye!-by Arlen 
Lawson

Theme From Dr. No-by Arlen Lawson (or was Stangl truly the 
mastermind here? Hmm. . .)

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lange-by Al Angel

A Song-by Ben Schmidt 

It's much too hard for me to choose only one Chris Stangl piece. 
I would love to see/hear/taste any one of these pieces again: 
"The Houdini Virus Slight of Hand" (as long as Dan still gets 
murdered.  This probably shouldn't be done early in the order.), 
"Dead Turtle," "Sylvia Plath and the Goofy Gasleak," "Enchilada," 
 "_To The Sun," and/or "The Mickey Mouse Cartoon." I can't make a 
decision.  So someone else should do that for me.

And on a final, personal note, I would much prefer to do either 
"The Secret of the Orb" or "A Bittersweet Winter Night" at Best 
Of rather than "You Reek of the Future!"  Why?  Because they are 
both better/stronger/funnier than "Future." Think about it. See? 
Mike Cassady agrees with me and so do you, I think. 

My love is your love.

-Balls

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 04:05:37 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

The human trilogy MUST MUST MUST be included in BONS.  My failure to include it in either
of my previous BONS nominating posts is conclusive proof of this.  Since I forget most
completely the pieces which entrall me most sweetly.  Except the one about the exploding sun. 
That one I will always remember.  That piece is god.

                                                       How do I love thee, Let me count my nose.  One.
                                                                  Love Mega-$nick

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 04:44:35 GMT     IP: 166.62.170.179

my attendance this semester was slightly less than perfect and i 
find myself not recognizing many titles, so i guess this is one 
of those "sorry if i leave you out" nomination lists.

i nominate the following-

1) "Love and other four letter words' by Chris O'Kiishi


sorry if i left you out.

aaron

p.s.  in the spirit of meredith nepstad, i un-nominate "you reek 
of the future" by campbell "neil" balls.

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 15:50:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.76

:p.s.  in the spirit of meredith nepstad, i un-nominate "you reek 
:of the future" by campbell "neil" balls.

I suppose I do, too. And replace it with secret of the orb, though 
I loved "Future." Don't slow down or we'll die!!!!!

Mark

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 18:47:21 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.181

:15.  Girls Who Crave Kant.  By Meredith Nepsted.

    Also "By Allison McCabe," because I think some Allison 
McCabes worked on this piece, also, as evidenced by the piece 
being archived as "by Merideth Nepstad and Allison McCabe."  Mr. 
McCabe is a Bond Club member in fair-to-good standing, and as 
such should not be slighted.

                First Lady Flashcard, Chris Stangl

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 19:25:20 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.227

I forgot Dan's "Date me!" piece from two weeks ago.
Also Chris Okiishi's "Love and Other Four-Letter Words".  I was 
reminded last night of what it was and I remember really liking 
it.  Plus it contains a song by Bette Midler.  She's my hero.  
She's everything I'd like to be.  I can fly higher than an eagle.  
Or something.
One more thing:  My friend, Katie, would like to nominate James 
Erwin's piece from two weeks ago.  The one with the intro and 
index and such.  She confessed to me that if she had not been in 
a public place, she would have fallen off her chair and rolled 
around with laughter.  Yay.
- Jessica -

Time: Wed, 19-Apr-2000 19:35:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.178

I have many girls on my floor requesting a reprise of the 
Finch/feather-duster up the ass skit as performed by Stangl.  If 
this piece does not make it, there are many girls who are 
willing to pay Chris for a private showing.  

Your Fourth Floor Liason,
Allison

Time: Thu, 20-Apr-2000 00:31:08 GMT     IP: 166.62.37.92

:She confessed to me that if she had not been in a public place,
:she would have fallen off her chair and rolled around with
:laughter.

since when do people feel the need to present themselves in a 
dignified manner at no shame, on stage or in the audience?  i 
watched half of last week's show sitting naked in the grid.

Time: Thu, 20-Apr-2000 03:10:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.249

::She confessed to me that if she had not been in a public place,
::she would have fallen off her chair and rolled around with
::laughter.

really....whats the difference?  i spent half of last weeks no 
shame watching some guy sitting naked on the grid.

deliciously uncircumsized, i might add.

*wink*

*vanish*


-jc

Time: Thu, 20-Apr-2000 06:40:14 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.56

really....whats the difference?  i spent half of last weeks no 
:
shame watching some guy sitting naked on the grid.

Hey! I thought I saw Christ last friday. He was in the lounge at ten till ten and still didn't get in the
order. What is this world coming to? 

Time: Thu, 20-Apr-2000 20:53:14 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.58

          The Real Ghostbusters and Best Of, Spring 2000
                         Chris Stangl

     You think you know something?  BONS is a "good time," 
but it's not the Best.  BONS isn't the Best Pieces Performed at 
No Shame.  It's the Best Pieces That Bear Repeating- Or Could 
Possibly Be Repeated With Any Effect- From A Representative 
Sampling Of Writers, Without Too Many From the Half-Dozen People 
Who Are Obviously Really The Best.

   RE: the BONS "real" selections.  You know that unwritten 
effect always occurring, which nobody seems to support, where 
popular, prolific writers are always honored at BONS, even if 
they didn't "really" have one of the seventeen "best" pieces?  
I'm fine with it.  Examples from people I like: I don't think A. 
Clarke did a piece better than my favorite fifteen all season, 
but I would be loath not to include her in my BONS selections.  
I don't think W. Barbour's entry in BONS last season was 
anywhere close to Top 15, but it's there for pacing, variety and 
the fun of watching Willie, who is, in general Top 15 as a guy.  
Dig it?

This season BELONGED to A. "Mose" M. Hayward, who wrote better 
than he ever has, especially if you remember his "SCAMS" work 
from Junior High.  He spun intricate stories born out in 
narrative structures heretofore uninvented, rendered them with 
inspired characters and mined the personal and collective 
unconscious for his inventive new universe of Cosmic Hilarity. 
Joke telling as athletic performance.  "Scenes" not "skits." 
"Theater" not "Television on stage." Invigorating and inspiring 
to his fellow artists, an award goes to_: Mose! All his pieces 
go on this list.  He "WINS."
        BONS is "fun" for you to see, but here is my other-world 
alterna-BONS.  A BONS carved from rough-hewn dreams, which could 
never exist in the corporeal.  These are the pieces you will 
never forget, though most of them are by five people, and a 
dozen wouldn't "work" if performed again.  This is the fleeting 
one-night-stand celebration that is MY No Shame: canonical BONS 
not-withstanding. * means this piece would not "be appropriate" 
for BONS repetition: one-gag pieces, pieces hinging on total 
surprise, fake-outs fake ins, fake tv, what is fake, land of a 
thousand fakes bons_ (The 2.5 pieces by me in this list aren't 
"best," but "unrepeatable," so don't "nominate" them.)
(Pre Signature- This is not a peek at the "real" BONS order or 
anything juicy like that, so get your hand out of your panties.)

Friday, 12 3 99
Lawson - Catcher in the Rye? I hardly know her in the Rye! (but 
really called "Treeflowers")
River - The Worst Thing Ever
Stangl/ Brooks - The Houdini Virus / Big Angry*

Friday, 12 10 99
Brooks - The Loco Joe's Reason
Okiishi - Rhetorical Demise
Stangl - No Shame*

Friday, February 4, 2000
River/ Lawson - The Jiggy Jenga
Campbell- The Stench of Orphans

Friday, February 11, 2000
McDonald - I Love Pokemon
Lawson - Egg*
Anastasiou - Monsters Under My Bed

Friday, February 18, 2000
River - Puncheroo
Lawson - The "Archie" Comic Strip from Tues., May 11, 1982
Hansen - Chixx, Part One: the Furry with the Syringe on Top
Wall - A Song*

Friday, February 25, 2000
Clarke - Three Stories Inspired by Daniil Kharms or Why the 
Russians Hate the French ( By the by, nobody has addressed this
    ... but I totally didn't "get" the central joke, but STILL
       thought this was aces...)
Fons - The Soup Sketch
Lawson - The Windfall Syndrome***
Brooks, Bungeroth, Rose, Wall - Grace******

Friday, March 3, 2000
Jamal River - Jazz-Ma-Tazz
Ho! - Human Trilogy
Hayward - Studying a broad, French cowhole
Lange - Steven Hawking and His Crazy Stand-Up Routine

Friday, March 24, 2000
Vander Ploeg - Acceptance

Friday, March 31, 2000
Brooks - How the Universe Works
Stangl - Enchilada*
Hayward - School for a Fashion Model Superstar

Friday, April 7, 2000
River - Brontasaur! IT Won't hurt YOU! TEX REX ATE IT up!*
S. Hayward - Talking Straight
Brooks - I am Ojay! Kill My Pants!
Campbell - The Secret of the Orb

Friday, April 14, 2000
Hayward - The Fatal Human Ghandhi Death Bullet Destroyer
Brooks - Cheyenne
River - The BBC and BB King. Harry Truman. Mose and Louie. Dig 
It!
Kozuh - Play King Mueller's K'ak

Time: Fri, 21-Apr-2000 16:44:24 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.191

Hey kiddos--

I'm going to be out of town tonight, but naturally I'm very 
interested in the BONS order.  Thus, I am making a request that 
someone post the order soon (Quiche?  i just got that nickname.  i 
feel silly) so I don't have to sit around wriggling pitifully.

Thank you so much indeed.

Time: Fri, 21-Apr-2000 17:20:23 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

I'll post the order ASAP--like right after the show tonight.

(Personal note--I'm so sad we won't get to do the piece I wrote 
for you until next year...sob...)

Time: Fri, 21-Apr-2000 18:13:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.26

Arrgh, Arrgh, Arrgh, Arrgh, 
Arrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That said, how about that Summer NS idea?  Could it work?  Will 
it work?  Where will it work?  Where should I come?  Who should I 
give my dollar to?  Who should I submit a piece to at 10:30 in 
the lounge?

That said, how about that CD idea?  Will it be?  A CD?  For 
listening to music and making me go pee?

Time: Fri, 21-Apr-2000 18:52:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.63

:
:That said, how about that Summer NS idea?  Could it work?  Will 
:it work?  Where will it work?  Where should I come?  Who should I 
:give my dollar to?  Who should I submit a piece to at 10:30 in 
:the lounge?

I would be willing to do summer NS, just so's ya know.

:That said, how about that CD idea?  Will it be?  A CD?  For 
:listening to music and making me go pee?
:

I'm not so sure I like the idea of the induced urination CD. 
Sounds a little too Pavlovian to me. And we all know Pavlov is so 
90's.

Me rk j Hansen

Time: Sat, 22-Apr-2000 07:24:38 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.191

http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/sucking_my_cock.html
-&-
brain candy

snore...

Time: Sat, 22-Apr-2000 07:35:08 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.154

1)  No Shame Theatre Must Die by Jamal River
1.5)Flying Reptiles by Jess Clement
2)  Why Kyle Lang Sucks My Nut: A Tribute to Dan "Danger" 
"Mother Fucking!!" Brooks by Al "Mother Fucking Hazard" Angel
3)  I Like Dick by Christopher Okiishi
4)  Your Night of Fun by Anwar Williams
5)  A Sappy Poem-Thang by Jessica Ahrendt
6)  4 Out of 5 Masturbation Scenarios Begin with Thoughts of 
Three Legged Wildebeests by Neil Van Gorder
7)  Spoo Story by Aaron Galbraith
8)  Juggling My Balls and other Non-Pornographic Activities for 
Children of All Ages by Jason Kollum
9)  Seriously... by Will Howard-McKinney
10) A Funky Ass Stray Cat Spanish Groove Thing by Ryan 
McLaughlin and Pierre Manukian
10.5) The Dissipating Spinal Adhesive of Love Starring Danger 
Brooks as the Spinal Adhesive
11) The 3 AM Inquisition in St. Clementine's Church by Julia 
Wilder
12) Flashlight is Here by Arlen Lawson
13) Love by Mose Hayward
14) Sixteen Historical Sketches About Dan Brooks and Cats A 
Farewell to Arms by Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "Tittikaka" 
Cassady
14.5) Dan Brooks a Loch Ness Monster sighting by Chris Stangl
15) Theatre Building by Michael Rothschild
16) Idea Men by Danger Brooks


A great night, I reports!

Time: Sat, 22-Apr-2000 07:39:53 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.154

Amoung the hardest to do yet!  Many terrific pieces were cut due 
to time constraints.  Terrific semester, to say the least!

Best of Order: 

1) Vulnerability: Feelings by Kyle Lange 
2) Love and Other Four-Letter Words by Christopher Okiishi 
2.5) Hallelujah by George Anastasiou 
3) A Song by Ben Schmidt 
4) I Love Pokemon by Baker McDonald 
5) Mothers:  Can't Live With Them, Can't Achieve Orgasm Without 
Fanaticizing About Them Staring at You by Arlen Lawson 
6) The Fatal Human Gandhi Death Bullet Destroyer by Mose Hayward 
7) Three Stories Inspired by Daniil Kharms or Why the Russians 
Hate the French by Aprille Clarke 
7.5) Melodica Monologua by Mark J. Hansen 
8) Girls Who Crave Kant by Merideth Nepstad and Allison McCabe 
9) The Worst Thing Ever by Jamal River 
10) Look!  There's a Spider on Your Catch Phrase by Aaron 
Gallbraith and Kehry Lane 
11) Snow in April Means We'll All Die Soon or The Pen is 
Mightier Than This Poem by Mike Cassady 
12) The Secret of the Orb by Neil "Balls" Campbell 
12.5) Soup Sketch by Mary Fons 
13) Hold Your Applause Until the End by James Erwin 
14) Dead Turtle by Chris Stangl 
14.5) The Unbearable Lightness of Being Kyle Lang by Al Angel 
15) The Loco Joe's Reason by Dan Brooks 

Time: Sat, 22-Apr-2000 21:17:09 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.86


 Corrections by C. Stangl

:10.5) The Dissipating Spinal Adhesive of Love Starring Danger 
:Brooks as the Spinal Adhesive

     ... by Mose Hayward


:12) Flashlight is Here by Arlen Lawson

     This is, properly, "Flashlight is Here," WITH the quotation 
marks around it.

            -Maakie Stangl

Time: Sat, 22-Apr-2000 21:51:13 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.148

Sorry--

The right and mighty Stangl is indeed right.  It was early, I was 
tired, the words were blurry...sorry...

Also, Arlen, when you're title have quote around them, do you 
always want those thus included in the archives?

Thanks Chris, 

Chris

Time: Mon, 24-Apr-2000 02:21:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.86

I think a summer No Shame would kick ass. We can make it small and 
all personal and shit. Cool beaners.

Josh Kozuh rules, like Stinkor McDickfist.

jonas

Time: Mon, 24-Apr-2000 02:25:48 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.86

:http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/sucking_my_cock.html
:--&--
:brain candy
:
:snore...


So this one time, I was at No Shame, and I realized that I'd heard 
this piece before, and I couldn't remember where, and so I turned 
to my girlfriend, Shaneequa, and I said, "Shaneequa, why in the 
hell are these people making out in the computer lab?" Wait, no I 
didn't say that. I just said that now. What I meant to say was, 
"Shaneequa, why did this asshole, who was just sucking face with 
his girlfriend, come up to me and think his shit don't stink?" 
Wait, that's not it either. Screw. 

Hmmm...

Oh yeah. "Shaneequa, where have I heard this before?" And 
Shaneequa, in her ultimate wisdom, says, "The Onion. Only it was 
much better."

And since I can't say things better than my girl, I'm gonna leave 
it at that.

jonas

Time: Tue, 25-Apr-2000 06:33:56 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.227

Hey,
   How about a piece by piece review of dead week?  Huh?  I liked 
it.
   Also, I'm getting sick of anonymous postings.  I would like to 
know who is saying what and, what's more, to whom.  And why, for 
corn's sake, WHY!!!!

                                Your Mother and Mine,
                                                 A. Nonymous

Time: Tue, 25-Apr-2000 08:48:48 GMT     IP: 209.253.130.183

:Hey,
:   How about a piece by piece review of dead week?  Huh?  I liked 
:it.
:   Also, I'm getting sick of anonymous postings.  I would like to 
:know who is saying what and, what's more, to whom.  And why, for 
:corn's sake, WHY!!!!
:
:                                Your Mother and Mine,
:                                                 A. Nonymous


Uh, Arlen?

Time: Wed, 26-Apr-2000 17:09:24 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.120

...I guess I will.  Just didn't want such a terrific evening to 
go undiscussed.

1)  No Shame Theatre Must Die by Jamal River

Interesting and effective prologue of people walking in a 
circle, as if making a large, metaphorical bung-hole.  Song was 
terrific, catchy and provocative.  I've said it before, but NO 
ONE is doing anything remotely like Jamal's stuff, and I doubt 
anyone could make it work so well.  (Dan Brooks and Mike 
Rothschild Appearance #1)

1.5)Flying Reptiles by Jess Clement

Short, effective, and Ms. Clement has an undeniable and quite 
engaging presence.  Yay on all three counts.

2)  Why Kyle Lang Sucks My Nut: A Tribute to Dan "Danger" 
"Mother Fucking!!" Brooks by Al "Mother Fucking Hazard" Angel

Much more quiet and evocative than I expected (three guys 
playing guitar while Dan and Mike stand on stage--appearance 
#2).  A nice moment that lasted just long enough.

3)  I Like Dick by Christopher Okiishi

I don't remember this one, but Dan and Mike were in it (#3), and 
I did warn Mike about insulting him, but I'm still sorry.

4)  Your Night of Fun by Anwar Williams

I had a very strong reaction to this one--so I guess on some 
level it was effective--but my reaction was pretty negative.  
Certainly, Mr. Williams has some deeply felt emotions about this 
person's pain, and is attempting to say something, but what?  Is 
it a stance against drunk driving (eg--how your "night of fun" 
left me with no use of my legs), or some other connection.  I 
was left more confused than enlightened, more put-off than 
inspired, more annoyed than moved.  Perhaps I'm biased in that I 
work with recovering folk every day, people struggling with a 
variety of physical and mental hardships, and the attitude of 
this character seemed a cop-out, and rang false.  It was classic 
language of victim-hood, and I didn't buy it.  But clearly, it's 
what I've devoted the most thought to, so if provoking a 
negative response was the goal, the piece succeeded with me. 

5)  A Sappy Poem-Thang by Jessica Ahrendt

This was another serious piece, but worked for me much more, in 
that I felt the character was real, the situation personal, and 
the delivery unforced and natural.  I still wanted to challenge 
her feelings of entrapment and obsession, but I got the idea 
that she was describing something in hope of reaching 
understanding.  Nice work.

6)  4 Out of 5 Masturbation Scenarios Begin with Thoughts of 
Three Legged Wildebeests by Neil Van Gorder

This was wild, wack-y fun.  And Neil has a plenty nice ass.  
Kudos to Cassady for difficult on-stage ass manipulation.  (Did 
this feature Dan Brooks appearance #4?)

7)  Spoo Story by Aaron Galbraith

More absurd, stylized craziness.  Intricate writing (which 
almost needs to be read to be fully realized--I'd throw in an 
example, but there are so many) and inspired perfomances 
synergized into a classic sketch.  Well done.  And Neil is 
amazingly light-weight.

8)  Juggling My Balls and other Non-Pornographic Activities for 
Children of All Ages by Jason Kollum

Conjured up images of what a young-to-No-Shame Bradly Harris 
must have looked like.  A terrific effort, and nice lighting dip 
by Adam.

10) A Funky Ass Stray Cat Spanish Groove Thing by Ryan 
McLaughlin and Pierre Manukian

What the hell was this about!  Tho', nice to see newbies, and, 
it certainly was unlike much else that night.  Shorter might 
have been better.  Focus would have been awsome.

10.5) The Dissipating Spinal Adhesive of Love Starring Danger 
Brooks as the Spinal Adhesive by Mose Hayward

Creepy idea made hysterical by Kyle's balls out performance, and 
Jess's hystrionics, both of which worked amazingly well.  The 
image of everyone trying to hear if Kyle's ass rattled as it 
shook was priceless.

11) The 3 AM Inquisition in St. Clementine's Church by Julia 
Wilder

Julia, Julia, Julia...  Not a bad piece of writing, really, but, 
if I can make a hopefully constructive piece of criticism--Ms. 
Wilder needs to relax and really play a character if she is 
going to write one for herself.  I get the sense that she is 
terrifically happy to be onstage, and this comes off as self-
indulgent and coy, both sentiments running at odds with her 
subject.  She has energy and presence to spare, to be sure, 
which needs a little more channeling to be effective.

12) Flashlight is Here by Arlen Lawson

The best thing, hands down, that I have seen Arlen do, with the 
possible exception of Stangl's 10-minute thing.  Hanuting, 
supremely well constructed, and really quite sad, especially if 
true.  BTW--the psychological defence mechanism by which the 
character claims to have broken another's face when really it is 
his own that is broken is called projection.

13) Love by Mose Hayward

Classic Mose, yet somehow new as well.  Especially brilliant on 
the heels of Arlen, in that both author's used language and time 
in such an interesting way.  Dan was in this too, I think, but 
I'm loosing count (#5??)

14) Sixteen Historical Sketches About Dan Brooks and Cats A 
Farewell to Arms by Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "Tittikaka" 
Cassady

Surprisingly well structured for such a haphazzard piece.  Nice 
work of placing Stangl and River in erstwhile typical roles, 
and, on any other night, would have been the best tribute to 
Dan.  (Dan appeaance #6, Rothschild #4)

14.5) Dan Brooks, a Loch Ness Monster sighting by Chris Stangl

What can I say?  Astonishing in its seeming obliqueness to the 
subject then suddenly gelling into honest, raw directness at the 
end.  Unexpected, even from Chris.  And amazing how Mr. Stangl's 
words flowed effortlessly from Dan, even allowing some of his 
trade-mark mannerisms full view.  For my hard-to-put-down 
nickel, this was the best piece of the evening.  (Dan #7)

15) Theatre Building by Michael Rothschild

Really funny, highlighting the fertile comedy mind of Mr. 
Rothschild.  Made me sad to miss the expanded version of some of 
these ideas, but really most of them worked just fine short--a 
lesson to us all, perhaps, that brevity may be the best ally of 
clever idea.  Coincidence, I'm told, that Dan and Mike were 
dressed alike, like two overly-involved boyfriends.  Worked for 
the piece, though, which featured some of Dan and Mike's best 
acting of the night.  (Dan #8, Mike #6)

16) Idea Men by Danger Brooks

Swell monologue, neat idea, detail-rich, pitch perfect.  Reminds 
why Dan will be so missed at No Shame.  The moon ain't got 
nothing on you, pal.  You fully deserve your ninth appearence, 
and its attendant record-breaking status, but your position in 
No Shame history was already secure.  Well done.

Time: Wed, 26-Apr-2000 20:04:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.229

I'm only going to talk about some things because...well, just 
because.

1.5)Flying Reptiles by Jess Clement
     I liked it.  Short, not-pointless, truthful.
2)  Why Kyle Lang Sucks My Nut: A Tribute to Dan "Danger" 
"Mother Fucking!!" Brooks by Al "Mother Fucking Hazard" Angel
     I enjoyed listening to this.  Al ought to make a CD.  As for 
Dan and Mike being on the stage...it was cool, but they looked a 
little bored after the first minute.  I shut my eyes so I could 
just listen.
3)  I Like Dick by Christopher Okiishi
     When Chris first proclaimed "I like dick!" I was amazed by his 
ferociousness.  He is usually pretty quiet and sweet onstage, so I 
found the beginning of this piece quite engaging.  I liked the 
rest, too. 
4)  Your Night of Fun by Anwar Williams
     This piece made my insides curl up and whimper silently.  I 
was very uncomfortable throughout the whole thing.  Although part 
of this could have been because my piece was next, I think it also 
had something to do with his tone of voice.  Being yelled at is 
something I don't enjoy.  
5)  A Sappy Poem-Thang by Jessica Ahrendt
     I was told later by two people sitting behind me that they 
were weirded out by the fact that Anwar's piece ended with him 
asking to be escorted to Heaven and then me coming down the stairs 
in a white dress.  Well, contrary to popular belief (ha, ha), I'm 
no angel.
7)  Spoo Story by Aaron Galbraith
     I got the feeling that there were some things in this that I 
probably should have gotten, but didn't.  I liked what I got, 
though.  Could you post the script, Aaron?  I'd like to read it.
10) A Funky Ass Stray Cat Spanish Groove Thing by Ryan 
McLaughlin and Pierre Manukian
     Huh?  I felt like there was some kind of inside joke between 
the two onstage and they never let us in on it.
10.5) The Dissipating Spinal Adhesive of Love Starring Danger 
Brooks as the Spinal Adhesive by Mose Hayward
     Kyle's character in this was just HYSTERICAL.  I couldn't pay 
attention to the rest of the sketch because I was too busy 
laughing at him flopping around like a fishy and trying to make 
his ass rattle.
12) Flashlight is Here by Arlen Lawson
     I was really touched by this.  Arlen has an intensity and 
frustration that come through when he writes something this good.  
I think it was probably true, which makes it sad.  And now I 
wonder about how he will feel when he reads that I thought it was 
sad because it was true, and it is his life.
14) Sixteen Historical Sketches About Dan Brooks and Cats A 
Farewell to Arms by Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "Tittikaka" 
Cassady
     Really funny on all accounts.  "That's my silly retard!" and 
the retarded Bill Bungeroth sketches were my favorites.  And the 
last one, of course.  Touch me right in the soul, please.
14.5) Dan Brooks, a Loch Ness Monster sighting by Chris Stangl
     The part that Dan read seemed very Dan-esque, which convinces 
me that Chris is an amazing writer, since he wrote it and probably 
did that on purpose.  Good farewell piece to Dan, especially after 
the murder in the hallway last semester.
15) Theatre Building by Michael Rothschild
     There were some ideas here that I, too, would have liked to 
see in five-minute-length pieces.  But, alas....
16) Idea Men by Danger Brooks
     This was really touching to me, too.  The last minute was my 
favorite part.  Dan seemed so humble and sad and almost regretful.  
I must admit that I cried when he compared himself to the moon.  
But then, I'm a girl so I'm allowed to cry.

And there you have. it.
-Jessica

Time: Thu, 27-Apr-2000 03:23:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.20

My piece by piece review will probably be incomplete...

1.Jamal's sketch/song

   Fun to watch.  Fun to hear.  I have caught myself humming the 
butthole song since.

1.5 Jess Clement - This was the shrieking?  I liked, if so.  IT 
made me smile, at least.

2. Al - Sidesplitting humor.  Al at his finest!

3. Chris. O - Fun.  I remember laughing at the Rothschild joke, 
so there is no reason to apologize.  If it weren't funny, you 
would then need to apologize.  The rest of the monologue?  I 
smiled at lots, can not remember if I laughed.  I clapped at the 
end, and I only do that if I enjoy or respect a piece.

4.Anwar, Anwar, Anwar...  There are, at present count, three 
pieces from the evening that left me with the words, "Why did you 
just do that?  There must be some reason you just did that!" 
swimming around my head.  After my own monologue, later in the 
evening, I had to run to the lounge restroom to wash the blood 
from off my face and, in the lounge, middle of No Shame, there 
sat Anwar, having a casual conversation with somebody.  This is 
the second time in my memory that he has come to No Shame, thrown 
his year old*, sing-song, rhyme-oriented poetry at the audience, 
then left before the night was finished.  It seemed last time to 
be very, very rude, and, this time, upon confirmation that, no , 
he had nowhere important to go, it made me angry.  Maybe that's 
why I'm being so harsh this time, or maybe it's because, despite 
a polished, if ineffective, performance, there continues to be no 
content in what he brings as his gift to us. 

*I took a poetry class with him and this poem, minus the 
nonsensical and contradictory war imagery at the beginning, seems 
to have survived intact.

5)Jessica Ahrendt - I am so sorry, Jessica, but I don't remember 
this poem.  I do seem to remember coming away with a generally 
good impression, though.  I'm afraid this has been worthless to 
you.

6)Neil Van Gorder - Remember how I said that this review would be 
incomplete?  While I do remember the sketch, who was in it, and 
thinking that Mike Cassady made some otherwise dull lines seem 
funny, I can't remember if I came away from it happy that I'd 
seen it. The ending seemed terribly haphazard and this could have 
been fixed with a good lighting cue.  If it was scripted to end 
the way it did, shame on script.  Shame on script.

7)Aaron - Loved it!!!  Aaron should have been there to see it.

8) Jason Kollum - It was fun to watch.  The audience was very 
supportive with its "Aaaaaahs" and that was funny for me.  He did 
some very impressive stuff between the seemingly nervousness 
induced fuck-ups and I'm sure if he keeps coming back until his 
nerves settle, we are going to be seriously wowed.  Is this a 
Juggling Brad replacement?  Or is Juggling Brad still around?  I 
will miss him if he left

9)Will Howard-McKinney - People talk about a No Shame clique.  
There is not one.  No Shame was friendly to me when I showed up 
and did a few half-assed Python influenced sketches.  I only say 
this so that people don't think that I am reinforcing said non- 
existent No Shame clique when I say that this was terrible.  I 
thought so before I visited the Onion site linked to on this 
page.  And, having, regrettably, never seen Brain Candy, I 
still thought so.

10) Ryan and Pierre - Weird.  What was the introduction about? I 
kept waiting for it to become something.  Also, I think playing 
cover tends to break the originality rule in half, unless it is 
done with some alternate ambition.(i.e. Chris Stangl's "Place in 
France" and various non musical "found material" sketches that 
have been done at No Shame... There has already been some 
discussion on these, so I will not elaborate.) Also, this was the 
second instrumental piece of the night.  I was under the 
impression that Al, Jamal, and I were breaking new ground with 
that.  And we did!  For half a No Shame!

11)Julia Wilder

Time: Thu, 27-Apr-2000 03:51:43 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.20

   I accidentally posted too soon and had not finished or 
revised.  

   I wanted to say that #10 was the second to make me think that 
thinky thing.  And the third?

10.5) I did like this.  I have been very impressed with Mose this 
semester, but who hasn't?    I did appreciate Kyle's performance 
as good, but don't think it was what made the sketch.

11) Julia Wilder - The audience reaction became very fun for 
this, so it was not entirely a failure.  The fella playing an 
inquisitor obviously loved what he was doing.

12) Arlen Lawson - I should have somehow indicated on the script 
that the quotes were to remain around "Flashlight is Here."  I 
don't think I use quotes when I write a title, generally, but, 
were I uninformed, I think I would have left them off when 
copying the order, as well.  If I ever want quotes left around a 
title again, I will indicate this somehow... probably in words.

13)Mose again?  Mose again?  I missed most of it as, having 
just realized that I was in the following sketch and had blood 
all over my face as Mose was calling for volunteers, I had to 
rush to a place to wash my face.  However, I did make it back to 
the theater steps in time to like what little I caught of it.

14) Cassady and Balls - Adored this one.  I was in it by default, 
as Mark had not shown up.  The second Rothschild joke of the 
night was in it.  And it was wonderful.

14.5) Chris Stangl - Beautiful, magical, marvelous, heavenly, I 
thought I could find a lot more descriptors than that.  And, yes, 
in this context they are synonyms, so quit bitching at me.  I 
want to read it once, then over and over again.  And Chris' 
farewell to Dan at the end was very touching.

15)Rothschild - Funny.  I smile, I laugh, I Rothschild.

16) Dan - Brilliant moments.  The faces.  Everyone will miss Dan. 
 The entire night was laced with a sort of sobriety, though I can 
only speak for myself, a keen awareness that this was Dan's last 
real night with us.  I came into this piece with high 
expectations and he came very close to meeting them, which is, I 
think, a wonderful praise for anything that has been anticipated 
to such a degree.  I  have to say that, while the closing was in 
its way effective, I was left a little disappointed by it.   
Maybe, later, I will look back at it and think it was a fitting 
way to finish, but, as it stands now, I would have preferred an 
explosion.


               Yours truly,
                        Arlen

Time: Thu, 27-Apr-2000 03:57:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.20

   Mose!!!!!
   The order got screwy on me.  I wrote the preliminary 
introduction/thinky thing comment before the Julia Wilder piece, 
then went back and added your piece when I realized I'd missed 
it.  It seems terrible, but is not!  I swear!

Time: Thu, 27-Apr-2000 18:30:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:The ending seemed terribly haphazard and this could have 
:been fixed with a good lighting cue.  If it was scripted to end 
:the way it did, shame on script.  Shame on script.

It wasn't scripted that way.  The light cue was all set to go, but 
the cue line was either dropped or whispered (or got way muffled 
by the curtain maybe?) 'cause I never heard it.  Oh, and I also 
brought the lights up on Chris Stangl yelling for lights.  Even 
though it said right there in the script that he was supposed to 
shout for that in the dark.  My bad.

Time: Sun, 30-Apr-2000 01:22:29 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.118

You know, there was some talk of a summer No Shame.

I am interested in this. I drool with interest. And also with 
saliva.

James Erwin, who is more powerful and better-looking than Karl 
Malden (at least these days)