Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 08:53:13 GMT     IP: 63.42.174.185

It is no joke or lie; Aaaaaron really wasn't wearing any 
underpants at all.  

Who else was not wearing underpants? Jamal knows, but for the 
rest of us it will remain an internal mystery.

Truly there was a coincidence.

Scratch yo head, man----

Balls at Night

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 17:43:23 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.60

It only now occurs to me how obvious it is that dull and 
lackluster mean the same thing. I (and perhaps Egg as well) was 
only thinking of them in relation to performances, art, etc, 
which makes them seem more abstract. (To me, anyway) But when 
you think of them in relation to objects (stones, jewelry, 
buttholes), well then it's so clear! If a rock is dull, it is 
not shiny. And if it is lackluster, it is not shiny! I get it. I 
get it now! More on this later...

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 17:59:38 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.60

Here's my concern: even though we have proven that the two words 
are officially the SAME!, I fear that common usage has made them 
quite distinct from one another in a situation like this. Don't 
get me wrong, this could all be in my head, and frankly, I hope 
it is. But just in case it's not... 
See, I think when you call a performance lackluster, it implies 
that the performance was short on energy, or perhaps it was a 
bit half "ass"ed. But not necessarily dull. Dull, to me, in this 
situation, means boring ("boring"). And just because something 
lacked energy or enthusiasm, that doesn't always mean it was 
boring. Just as something that was delivered with plenty of vim 
and vigor wasn't neccessarily un-boring. (If you would like 
examples to illustrate this point, I would be happee to oblige.) 
So that's my idea about things, people.! So you understand? I 
want to know. I love you. If you like me, grin! 
Two c's or one? I don't know.

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 18:44:37 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.186


    I dunno the difference between a laggluster and a dull, but 
I do know it is an interesting and useful topic of prolonged 
conversation.
    Also Balls' "Necktie Sinclair" was most funny for people who 
remember the REAL punchline to that scene from "Drexel's Class": 
"You're to young to have a uterus."  It was so funny it made me 
laugh til a turd peeked out.
    Other funniest thing is Village Inn has a item on the menu 
called "Fish Taco," and it doesn't appear to be a joke.
                          -Fish Taco Stangl!

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 19:16:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.141


:    Other funniest thing is Village Inn has a item on the menu 
:called "Fish Taco," and it doesn't appear to be a joke.
:                          -Fish Taco Stangl!


WHAT!?!?!  I refuse to believe this until I see it with my own four 
eyes.  It is simply too ludicrous.  If true, my guess is that 
someone at Village Inn Headquarters (VIHQ, as they say in the 
trades) heard the expression, and decided that since no item yet 
existed on the VI menu, it was time to catch up on the competition.  
Senior Stangl, is this item on the daytime or late night menu?  If 
it is in the Night menu, I might just have to give my vegetarianism 
the night off and order one next week.

"My God.  It's full of stars."
Nick Clark

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 01:32:31 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.60

In the recent past, I have consistently come to No Shame 
extremely tired and worn-out, and as a result have been in a 
pissy mood and simply wanted to go home about halfway through the 
show, even if the show is great.  This is a bad thing.
This past Friday I discovered something that helped me stay awake 
and attentive and excited about No Shame, even though I was even 
tireder than usual.  You should all feel very happy for me 
despite the fact that I will not tell you what it was, because it 
my secret and also is a weapon.

So it's Sunday, and I'm supposed to be studying the standard 
measure of an "ass off" for a couple a "bad-ass muthafuckin" 
tests tomorrow.  So I will instead write a brief review of the 
show on Friday.  I'm rusty at this, and I don't have the actual 
ORDER to work with, but you will read it all and love it.

1. JP:  Customer Service
I did not like this.  The material was dull, and rather what I'd 
expect from a first timer relating events that s/he found 
humorous at work (in this case, NCS) (see also #7).  Also, the 
shirt sticking through the fly: might have worked had the 
character been crafted in such a way as to make the juxtaposition 
of character/goofy physical pants gag ludicrous and funny.  
Instead it just seemed dumb.  And the delivery was also bad.  
Like he didn't really know what he saying.  I wouldn't have 
minded this if the content had not bored me.  One last thing:  
this fella did a mono he called "Pick up Sticks."  Upon looking 
at the order archives, I discovered that such a piece was done by 
a guy with the same JP name on April 11, 1997.  What's up with 
that?  April 11is my ex-girlfriend's birthday.  This be some 
mighty evil "coincidence."  I now fear this man.

2.  M. Cassady: Stubble wears no Underpants for this Monologue
I did like this.  Mostly.  Some of was sorta expected, but there 
were some nice moments (i.e., I been tryin ta carve a baby outta 
[wife's name's] belly w/ my wiener; also, Ben Shmidt being a 
horse and not doing a damn thing for 5 mins.)  Delivery was a bit 
tried, but when everything came together in beautiful harmony is 
was very much fun.

2.5. R. Stangl: I love Jar Jar on my couch of Psychiatry
It was short, and yet not short enough.  What I mean by this is 
that the delivery was rather slow, while the jokes were quick.  
Result: it was only good when it could have been super fun 
better.

3. Deeter?:  Sexy Pants and why you Love Them
Very much reminded me of No Shame when I first started attending 
oh so long ago.  Pieces like this were indeed prevalent.  The 
concept was not so great, but the writing was not so bad.  And 
the freakishly bizarre delivery was wonderful.  I liked with my 
loving.

4.  Nozebone the Band:  Why we love Liz Phair
It is my belief that this was one song, as opposed to two.  I 
liked the second half better then the first, but this may have 
been solely because people stopped laughing about then and I 
could understand the words.  More fun from Nozebone and I love 
it.  Not as great as "I wanna be a Rock n' Roll band," but very 
good.

5.  A. Clarke:  I love sequins and my daughter is lesbian, but 
I'm not, and also I am a Jew
I did like this, but as far Clarke goes, I felt this was not 
quite up to par.  The very gross jokes were damn funny, but 
rather than seeming like one coherent funny beast-thing, it came 
across to me as funny gross jokes connected by non-so-funny lulls 
used in order to advance the story.  Smooth delivery.  Yes.

6. A. Bowman:  Mike Cassady wears a cowboy Hat
Mad-cap hilarity.  This was great.  Bowman's work has been 
getting increasingly funny and I have, at this point, stopped 
wondering just how her sketches will be.  I confidently sit back 
and await the fun.  I can't resist mentioning, however, that it 
was a weird feeling for me to witness such crazy hijinx from 
Bowman and see Jamal sitting out completely, like the two had 
switched roles.  I do NOT mean to equate Bowman's work with that 
of River's (the pair do share a similar sense of humor, which 
rubs off on each other, I guess, but each posses her/his own 
style).

7. Boris?:  I did some telemarketing and it was Boring
If it was Boris' intention to show us just how bad his job was by 
reading an equally bad mono with equally bad delivery, then he 
did a great job.  I zoned out during this.  Writing was awkward, 
as was his reading.  "Jokes" were rather anecdotes that would be 
funny to maybe his co-workers, but not to me.  However, I want to 
make it clear that I do not discourage this sort of business at 
No Shame.  I am in full favor of a "bad" piece, even if I do not 
like it.  This is part of what makes NS so cool: anybody can do 
it, and many times, after a while, they get good at it.

8. A. Angel: Is that a cancer on your face, or are you just happy 
to see Me?
I so did not write any jokes into this.  As such, I was surprised 
when people starting laughing a lot and kept right on doing it.  
I do not think this is a bad thing.  I think it worked well, and 
worked in a way I had not expected.  I really liked the energy 
Balls and Sheila had for all the kissing, and yes, even I laughed 
a bunch when they broke out of a kiss to turn pages.  Thanks to 
the actors.

9. I am not E. A. Poe:  I am, instead, a worm man.
For all of the obvious preparation and sitting through an entire 
show like that, it made me sad that this was not better.  It was 
okay, but not new or interesting or surprising.  This fella is 
starting to remind me of Egg (in terms of writing style and 
failed physical gimmicks), and while this isn't 
god-awful-terrible, it for sure is not good.  I did like this 
joint much better than the coffee poem, and if his joint next 
week (you can be sure he'll be back) is as much better than the 
worm thing as the worm thing was better then than the coffee 
thing, then he'll do something that's actually pretty good.

10. B. Shmidt:  I sing a song for you.
M. Nepsted sez: "Ben is a very talented musician, singer, and 
     writer of songs.  
     And yet, I was bored.  The music to this song sounded almost 
     just like several other Ben songs I have heard.  So did
     the lyrics, for the most part.  It was a sweet song that I 
     would 
     listen to again if I could, but I'd like to hear something a 
     little different."  
And I feel exactly the same way.  So I'll say no more

11.  J. J. Lawson: Eat that Paste
J. Jar's writing has become increasing gross/fucking weird and I 
love it.  Highlights:  head opening up like a toothpaste tube 
cap, and the Drs. used a hole puncher 'cause they had run out of 
stories to tell other Drs. (this line here made laugh like there 
was an ant in my esophagus when I read it on paper and I do not 
understand why it did not have the same effect on the people who 
heard it out loud, esp. when there were no major problems with 
the delivery).  Good, yes.

12. N. B. Campbell:  We hang a little boy who falls in a tub of 
Acid and then the fun begins
Mike's delivery was some freezer-cool shit.  The mono itself was 
good, although a bit expected (when there's a big tub fulla LSD, 
somebody is gonna fall in).  Mike was so fucking cool I wanted to 
kiss him just for reading this.  And I won't tell you if I did or 
not.

13. Daniel?:  It's my first time here and I want to bore you with 
a mono about love and Dancing
Not especially bad, but cliched and delivered like a 
self-conscious high-school poet in front of his English class.  I 
feel about this like I felt about #7 (mostly).

14. A. Galbriath:  Love and  pneumatic Nail Gun
This is the best thing Stub. has ever written that I have ever 
seen.  Good swift reading by Balls.  I liked how the sentiment 
was added without sacrificing the crazy humor that makes Stub. 
fun to see (or have read by Balls, in this case).

15.  Alison Hetly?: It's about sex!  Really!  I'm not lying!   
_Ha!  Fooled you, didn't I?!
No, you didn't fool me.  Also, you apparently did not fool anyone 
else.  The only thing about t

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 01:34:48 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.60

12. N. B. Campbell:  We hang a little boy who falls in a tub of 
Acid and then the fun begins
Mike's delivery was some freezer-cool shit.  The mono itself was 
good, although a bit expected (when there's a big tub fulla LSD, 
somebody is gonna fall in).  Mike was so fucking cool I wanted to 
kiss him just for reading this.  And I won't tell you if I did or 
not.

13. Daniel?:  It's my first time here and I want to bore you with 
a mono about love and Dancing
Not especially bad, but cliched and delivered like a 
self-conscious high-school poet in front of his English class.  I 
feel about this like I felt about #7 (mostly).

14. A. Galbriath:  Love and  pneumatic Nail Gun
This is the best thing Stub. has ever written that I have ever 
seen.  Good swift reading by Balls.  I liked how the sentiment 
was added without sacrificing the crazy humor that makes Stub. 
fun to see (or have read by Balls, in this case).

15.  Alison Hetly?: It's about sex!  Really!  I'm not lying!   
_Ha!  Fooled you, didn't I?!
No, you didn't fool me.  Also, you apparently did not fool anyone 
else.  The only thing about this sketch that I didn't expect was 
what specifically they were talking about, and this was because I 
had somehow and for some reason convinced myself that they were 
talking about cooking.  I doubt that they'll be back ever, which 
makes me sad that the only thing they'll ever have done at NS is 
a tired clich‚, and that they didn't do it very well at that.

15. R. Stangl: How to buy a fence so that you may grow some hair
Chris Stangl, as has been mentioned by others, has a habit of 
writing very good, yet formulaic monologues every week.  It has 
become rather predictable that part of you will say "wow" to the 
current week's work, but that another part of you will, sadly, be 
just a little bit bored.  This week's TORE that expectation TO 
SHREDS.  Yes!  I have not loved a Stangl mono THIS much in a 
while.  This was simply out and out lunacy and weirdness and it 
was great.  This proves that the man does not have to sacrifice a 
good reception in order to deviate from the overtly funny, oddly 
touching, violent and poetic Stangl formula.  And while sheer 
insanity has been a trademark to some of R. S.'s previous work, 
this piece was its own.  Fresh.

And that's all I will say now.  I will be studying while you are 
doing fun things like reading this review.  So I'll now say the 
"G. B.," good-bye.

SUCKAS!!!
--Al 

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 03:04:10 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.208

While I loved this Stangl monologue like I always love a Stangl 
monologue, I would say it is mediocre compared with the others I 
have seen.  I guess I am hooked on the formula.

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 04:09:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.42

Fish Tacos are wonderful things.
Y'all need to get out of Ioway sometimes.
*remembers fish tacos of yore*

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 14:10:33 GMT     IP: 209.246.88.196

Hello you noisy No Shame wankers. Gosh I miss you. I read through 
some of the posts, and sniff sniff, how I grimaced in recognition of the 
brittle, convoluted, oh-so-randy humor I used to love. Or have a regular 
relationship with.
An acquaintanceship which may soon return, as Danger Brooks has 
been making efforts to ­øsave­ñ a theatre space here in New York through 
grant-writing, for which in return they would provide, we all hope, a 
space for No Shame, New York Edition. Too much fun.
And just in case you are interested in Life of the Former No Shamers, 
Dan and I, along with Justin Prescott Rose and Jake Johnson, are living in 
a newly renovated yet thoroughly dilapidated shitwad building on 
Bushwick Ave. in Brooklyn. Dan got me a job in his theatre; I­_m a 
puppeteer for a drag-queen version of A Doll­_s House for the next 
couple months, and Justin may soon be working there as well. Too fun 
for a day job, and pays better too. The theatre is also giving us a slot in 
November to produce our own work. We­_re looking for a way to mesh 
our individual artistic passions and psychic taints into a unified evening 
of theatre.
The moral being that New York is bursting with opportunity (though it all 
seems to funnel through one­_s connection with Dan), and is thus an 
obvious destination for those with talent (Mizzer Stangl) who are 
perishing without direction like a fat goony walrus head in a fishbowl (C.! 
Marlow! Stangl!). Ha! Miss ya miss ya, Stangl! And I miss the rest of you, 
just a tiny bit more. 

-- Mose Will

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 16:17:24 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.142

You know, I've been giving this a lot of thought, and the way I 
see things, "dull" just means straight up boring and of no 
interest. "Lackluster," on the other hand, seems to imply that 
the writer has previously shown his or her writing to be of high 
quality, so we watch their work with higher-than-normal 
expectations, but that a specific piece, if described 
as "lackluster," is something of a disappointment. If we weren't 
expecting luster of some sort, we probably wouldn't comment on 
the lack of it.

I'm also kind of bored.

Mose! Hey Mose!

Balls

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 19:48:13 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.52


    Balls "Neil" Campbell, you were the last person in posession 
of "the order for last week," weren't you?
    Why you refuse to post it to this website I do not wish to 
venture a venture.
    I guess it's because your huge fat body can't haul itself 
out of its position of anal sloth and mount a keyboard with your 
fingers.
    I just got MY DRIVER PERMIT AN HOUR AGO!
              -Chris Stangl, Iowa Drunk Driver in Training!!!

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 22:29:34 GMT     IP: 63.15.134.219

Actually, I handed over the order to one Christopher Okiishi 
before I left the show Friday night.

So take that, Stangl, you penicular piece of assfilth.

Love for all,

Balls

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 22:35:08 GMT     IP: 172.161.190.177

Is there a "official" order from Sept 29?

Or should I go by a "prille" clarke?


...Jeff

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 01:16:29 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:    Other funniest thing is Village Inn has a item on the menu 
:called "Fish Taco," and it doesn't appear to be a joke.
:                          -Fish Taco Stangl!

My favoritest thing ever at Gay Malone's (which is apparently what 
they used to call Malone's when it was G.A. Malone's before they 
got scared of being called that and changed the name) was their 
tuna tacos.  I used to go even all by myself to eat those there, 
and I usually don't go to restaurants to eat all by myself.  They 
were good.  But then they stopped serving tuna tacos because 
someone else must have said that was funny like Village Inn's Fish 
Tacos are funny, and they got scared of having a funny item on 
their menu so they changed that too.  And then I quit eating meat, 
eventually.

Even so, though, I bet even if I was still a carnivore I wouldn't 
have a "Fish Taco" at Village Inn.  Wouldn't really trust it.  
Sounds funny.

-Adam

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 04:28:24 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.21

Wow, Adam.  I think you win the prize for most complicated unintentional sexual metaphor
(unintentional is only a guess) to arise out 
of this odd menu-based discussion.  I was in VI this evening and saw no such item on the menu. 
But I probably wasn't looking very 
carefully.  I mean, tasty as it might be, has no menu writer ever heard the term used lewdly?  I had
always figured that it was in use 
as a lewd term since it could never actually apply to a food item.  That would be too wierd.  And
besides, who would want to eat 
something whose name was a fairly commonly used, fairly offensive lewd expression?  I guess
there are enough people out there.
Rev. Nick Lucre

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 04:42:11 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.21

Actually, if the order doesn't turn up, Al Angel's review is in better order than Aprille's.  By the
way, the Nozebone song was indeed 
two songs mooshed into one.  It's called "Co-Dependancy/Divorce Song"  and has nothing to do
with Liz Phair, except a title which 
Mark created without thinking too hard about.  But maybe when we put out an album, Liz Phair
phans will buy it by mistake.  That 
will be a good racket.  Also, Jeff, what is up with "Who's Who At NoShame"?  Also, the guy Al
calls Deeter? is, I think, Don Deeley.   
If you ever see my picture on a cereal box, that cereal will be called "Loveywugs and
Huggypuffs".
Loveywugs and Huggypuffs,
     Nick

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 05:52:45 GMT     IP: 172.134.3.219

:Also, Jeff, what is up with "Who's Who At NoShame"? 
:Loveywugs and Huggypuffs,
:
:    Nick


Yer gonna have to be a little more specific.  Is it down again or something?

Y'all all will have to let me know about any problems or dead links you find on the No Shame
webpages.  You see the site has grown to several hundred pages now, with at least a dozen or so
new and revised pages each week so sometimes it takes so long uploading the new pages (I have
a slow old computer) that I don't have time to visually verify them.

And because I have AOL (which SUCKS!) the uploader seems to randomly fukk up about every
20th page just for fun.  So it's bound to happen that from time to time pages will go missing or
links go bad or etc.

So if you ever spot an error on the website just drop an email to NoShTh@aol.com and I'll fix it
soon as I can.  (But also please be as specific as you can because I may not be able to tell "what's
up with" a page if the problem is only visible on certain browsers.)


Love,
...Jeff

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 07:17:36 GMT     IP: 152.163.194.186

Will there be No Shame Friday, November 17th? I might be coming 
up to IC that weekend, and would very much like to show everyone 
how much I've regressed as a writer in the past few months (not 
writing does that to you).

This all hinges on my still having my license at that point 
(speeding is bad, but the Illinois State Po-Lice are worse).

Anyone wanna see me in a play Oct 27-Nov 12? 

mike

PS. I never noticed "fish tacos" on the menu at VI, but in the 
Simpsons where Moe is dating that chick (voiced by Helen Hunt), 
the two of them go out ot dinner with Marge and Homer, and Moe 
orders "your finest food stuffed with your second finest food" 
which is lobster stuffed with tacos. I hope that helps.

mike (still)

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 14:35:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.191

It may be the case that there is enough difference in connotation 
between "lackluster" and "dull" that you might ought to choose 
one over the other in any sentence; however, there is not enough 
to warrant saying "it wasn't dull, it was lackluster" and 
expecting that to make sense to someone else.  For they are close 
enough in meaning that you could substitute one for the other in 
any situation without changing the meaning or interpretation of 
what you're saying.  When you read someone else's words, you 
never know exactly what is meant; there is always some range of 
indefiniteness, and that range is wide enough to include the 
difference between dull and lackluster.

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 18:36:02 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.197

Some exact titles and authors, as I remember or know them:

2) Equus 2.0 by Mike Cassady
3) Dr. Comedy's Diagnosis? Human Misery! by Chris Stangl

6) Doctor Mario! by Alyssa Bowman
7) Death of a Saleman by Boris
8) Face: A 3 Minute Play for Joanna and Joe by Al Angel

10) Next to You by Ben Schmidt
11) Walking in the Eating Paste Place by Arlen Lawson
12) Necktie Sinclair by Neil "Balls" Campbell

14) Wrap That Rascal by Aaron Galbraith

So that's pretty good, eh? Now, can we fill in all the blanks?

Can we?

                               Can we?

I am Balls

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 19:57:17 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.68


2.5) "Dr. Comedy's Diagnosis? Human Misery!" by Chris Stangl

16) "The Joshuas Needed A Fence" by Chris Stangl

           You're welcome.
                  -Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Thu, 05-Oct-2000 05:35:27 GMT     IP: 64.12.105.174

Okay Okay, Lackluster and Dull are two entirely different words 
with entirely different meanings. We are clearly in an age where 
language is misused, appropriated, and used with entirely 
different intentions. If you told a rap artist that his 
girlfriend was "fat", for example you may have just complimented 
him. Not to mention the decades old confusion with "bad". Like 
saying "ice cube is bad" You might mean, in fact, "i ce cube is a 
really talented musician and I like his style". I avoid that 
confusion by saying "ice cube sucks my ass and swallows" people 
usually get the gist. However, Dull and Lackluster , although 
both expressions pertaining to the same metaphor, have 
connotation that are both seperate and distinct. Dull refers to, 
in this case, a skit that fails to grab ones attention or is 
boring. Lackluster, although technically a synonym when speaking 
of polished jewelry or lapidary items, refers to , (again, in the 
case of no shame) a lack of polish or proficiency with the medium-
-a whimpy voice, bad diction, bad writing, no commitment to the 
character, any number of things, really.  A performance that is 
lackluster may result in a dull piece, but other things may make 
a piece dull as well. It could be too well rehearsed, something 
we've heard already. Topically uninteresting, although well 
rehearsed and written. This, I believe is the difference. 

I will end with an example. "This posting, although not 
lackluster, is extremely DULL."

And so I go, 


Ben 

Time: Thu, 05-Oct-2000 23:34:00 GMT     IP: 205.188.196.43

: Okay Okay, Lackluster and Dull are two entirely different words 
with entirely different meanings. 

No.  They are two nearly entirely identical words with slightly 
different connotations.

: However, Dull and Lackluster , although 
: both expressions pertaining to the same metaphor, have 
: connotation that are both seperate and distinct. 

No. The separate connotations of these words are quite indistinct.

: Dull refers to, 
: in this case, a skit that fails to grab ones attention or is 
: boring. Lackluster, although technically a synonym when 
speaking 
: of polished jewelry or lapidary items, 

It is also technically a synonym when refering to a performance.

: refers to , (again, in the 
: case of no shame) a lack of polish or proficiency with the 
medium-
: -a whimpy voice, bad diction, bad writing, no commitment to the 
: character, any number of things, really.  

Yes, any number of things, really.  Including dull.  Perhaps I 
thought a piece was dull but use "lackluster" as a slightly 
gentler way of saying that.  I might use lackluster to mean none 
of the things you mention, but simply lacking energy.  But I 
would never use lackluster to refer to a lack of polish, a wimpy 
voice, or bad diction, and would never understand these things to 
be meant if you said it to me.  It does not connote these things 
to me.  You are projecting your own connotations onto the words 
themselves, but they do not exist for others.  Some connotations 
are common to most people, but all of the are fuzzy.  Saying "it 
wasn't dull, it was lackluster" is about like saying "it wasn't 
off-white, it was eggshell."  The two words have slightly 
different but largely overlapping and indistinct meanings, and to 
use them in such a construction communicates NOTHING.

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 04:42:21 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.169

is anyone else sick and tired of reading this tedious semantics debate?

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 05:22:46 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.58

:is anyone else sick and tired of reading this tedious semantics 
debate?
:

No! Just _your_ butt-ass butt, dingle-face! "Pee" "Hole"

Love,
Your Best Friend Jamal Areli Jamal Rivers

Lackluster 4 ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Can I call you? 

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 17:58:41 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.46

:Lackluster and Dull are two entirely different words 
:with entirely different meanings.

     Why does any reputable thesaurus list them as synonyms, 
then?  Also many a disreputable thesaurus.

:We are clearly in an age where language is misused, 
:appropriated, and used with entirely different intentions.

    "An age"?  That's how language works, and how it always 
worked.  It's shifty, it's not fixed.  It evolves.  That's why we 
need new dictionaries all the time.  That's why there's such a 
thing as the OED, which, go figure, traces the kalidoscopic strob-
o-scope of Words. It's not "misuse," it's how we get "uses" in 
the first place.

:If you told a rap artist that his girlfriend was "fat", for 
:example you may have just complimented him.

    By "rap artist," you meant "black person," right?
    Probably not, anyway. "Phat," yes. And does anybody call 
people phat? Maybe he's got a phat beat, but probably I wouldn't 
call his woman phat.

:Not to mention the decades old confusion with "bad". Like saying 
:"ice cube is bad" You might mean, in fact, "ice cube is a 
:really talented musician and I like his style"

    You might mean that.  You probably more specifically mean 
that style is hard and dangerous, esp. funky or not to be fucked 
with.  James Brown is Superbad, as it Bad Ass.  As in Beats 
Women. This is why people laughed at that Michael Jackson song, 
and why someone who likes Barenaked Ladies or some shit probably 
wouldn't say that they're "bad."

:Lackluster...a lack of polish or proficiency with the medium

    Fine if you say "lackluster proficiency with the medium."  
Obviously "lackluster" and "lack of proficiency with medium" 
aren't synonymous.
    "This piece was lackluster," "this piece was dull" they mean 
EXACTLY the same thing: NOTHING.  They are just totally empty and 
useless as a criticism, about on par with "this was good."  
"Lackluster" WHAT? "Dull" WHAT? "Good" WHAT? "Lackluster ENERGY 
IN DELIVERY" or "lackluster characterization," "lusterless use of 
space"?
    You all fuck my ass.

         -Chris Your Stangl

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 20:30:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.156

:is anyone else sick and tired of reading this tedious semantics 
debate?
:

   I think it's one of the cutest debates ever to spring up on 
this site.  Tired of reading it?  How could you be tired of 
reading it?  Isn't the fact that it IS tedious what makes it so 
much fun?
   I think so.
   I think so.

             Arlen Lawson

P.S.  I am talking about the Lackluster vs. Dull debate.

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 23:40:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.237

   No Stangl review?
   No Shame  review by one
Chris Stangl
         appears to be missing.
                    I, for one, enjoy to read it
    Will it show up at all?


                       Arlen

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 00:00:46 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.105


    "This piece was lackluster," "this piece was dull" they mean 
:
EXACTLY the same thing: NOTHING.  

Are you denying the relevance of all adjectives or just these 
two? Do not be such absurdist. While it is true that many a hip-e 
will tell you that words don't mean anything, as far we're 
concerned in this debate, I would suggest that "this piece was 
dull" does mean something a li'l different from, say, "this piece 
was horrific" or "this piece was irritating". To say "dull" and 
"lackylusty" are interchangeable is one thing, to say they denote 
nothing at all is another thing entirely. No one ever said they 
were masterful critiques in and of themselves, that is not what 
we are talking about, Pook Mann! Stay on the ball! Watch that 
ball! Watch it!

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 04:26:47 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.176

Jamal, lackluster and lack of polish are very different when 
we're talking about performances, though they mean the same thing 
literally.  So different that too much polish can result in 
lacking luster, and something totally not lackluster could have 
no polish whatsoever.  Al Gore is the most polished speaker to 
ever LIVE, and yet "lackluster" is something most people would 
say he is.  

Chris?  Everyone fucks your ass?  I'VE never fucked your ass.  
When is it my turn, Chris?  How come everyone else gets to fuck 
your ass?  I'm hurt.

If it bores you, then why are you still reading it?  Skip the 
posts.  Fucker.

Strapped upon,
Merideth

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 18:20:50 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.41

Last week the for real order was never posted.

Perhaps it will be this week, but just in the cases it dodntnt', 
here is my quick take on it, for your reviewing and discussing 
preaaaaaaaassture.

All of this stems from my beautiful photogenic memory-brain.

1. Jamal River:  A skit about Toby and Hastapasta.  
Featuring the little men who live in one's eyes and tourette's.

2. Al Angel:  "Music is like my butthole, large and in charge, by 
Kyle Lang"
A song really called "I like you a lot."  Played while wearing a 
sick-ass g'n'f'n'r shirt.  W/o sleeves, of course.

3.Adam Burton and Chris Okishi: How I become the president of a 
company
A man goes in for an interview, and by waiting an oh so very long 
time manages to end up running the company.

4. Alyssa Bowman:  The death of Bill Murry.
Skit about how a fella kills bill murry, who turns out to be a 
dog.  Violence!

5. Nickbone the not-nozebone the band:  "Honey-bee"
A song by Nick Clark about picnicking and bees.  Sung by Nick and 
Ryan Greenlaw.

5.5. Something Sly and Another Guy:  Something about improv.
Two guys slap the shit out of each other to the squealing delight 
of the audience.  For real.

6. Aprille Clarke:  I'll cut that baby right outta you.
Monologue with detailed references to the act of cutting up 
pregnant women in what sounded to me like a not-very-surgical 
fashion.  But then, I'm not a doctor.  Chris?

7. Some guy and Gryphn: A sketch about a date
A sketch about a date.  And then one of the guys "breaks 
character" and tries to convince the other to come out.  
Metatheatrically ensues and they leave and miss out on the rest 
of the show.

8. Ben Schmidt:  "Passion"
A funky song about fucking.

9. Ryan Greenlaw:  Driving in an oven.
A stand-up comedy-type monologue delivered with classic Greenlaw 
flare.  References to an automobile made out of a for real 
working oven and a fight for the title of the prettiest person.

10.  Mike Cassady:  My mother is a whore and my dog is dead
Jar Jar Lawson reads a monologue about the two subject mentioned 
in the above title.

11. Chris Okishi:  A response to a play in New York.
Monologue about the joy of human contact and the attempt to make 
the world beautiful in the moments before one's death.

11.5 R. Stangl:  A Comedy Skit
A raucous skit feature not only the term, but the actual on stage 
representation of the term "ball fight"

12. Balls Campell:  Warner Bros., 1941.
Cary Grant refuses to play Sgt. Yorke in favor of dressing in 
drag.  Also everyone engages in lots of "dick sex"

13. ___ Rust:  My friends
A mono about how cool his friends are, and how they are like 
movie stars.

14. Julia Wilder:  Roman Expositions: The quiet sunset cooling 
over Caesar's Last Breaths
Julia Wilder is better than you because she knows Latin.  Also, 
she spits in Aprille Clarke's drink, who subsequently throws said 
drink all over poor Julia.

15. R. S. T. Covax:  Confessions of a child-molesting alcoholic.
Man tells woman about all the beer he has and all the ways one 
can drink it.  Woman tells Man she'd like to go to the bathroom 
(or "washroom" in Canada)

16. R. Stangl:  Circus Fun
Monologue from the standpoint of a father whose son, "Chris," 
loves Circus Fun cereal; a relationship that drives the father 
"up" a wall of some sort.

Also, there was a skit that didn't get performed because the guy 
had to work.  I believe the name was "Brokken," which is eerily 
like the name of a guy I work with.  I hope I'm wrong, it would 
be a freaky-ass coincidence.

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 20:59:20 GMT     IP: 64.152.172.130


Okay, because I'm a jerk, and a jerk with an English degree all 
of a sudden at that:
"Lackluster" necessarily implies the existence of a creating 
entity, whereas "dull" may or may not imply the existence of such 
an entity. For example, the current semantics debate has made the 
message board extremely dull, but one would not say that it has 
made it lackluster, as there is no singular creative entity 
behind the board.
Paint drying is dull. Dry paint in the form of a half-assed 
Jasper Johns picture is lackluster.

Also, New York is great, and all those not currently involved 
with going to school/raising kids/being some sort of adult should 
move out here immediat

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 22:42:34 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.57


"Lackluster" necessarily implies the existence of a creating 
:
entity, whereas "dull" may or may not imply the existence of such 
:
an entity. 

Well that makes sense, but it doesn't totally clear this up for 
me. Assuming that we're using these words in situations where 
they would both be legitimate adjectives (i.e, situations 
regarding creative entities and the stuffs they've created), do 
the two words then, to you and your English degree, denote the 
same thing? (If a feller's performance was lackluster, was it 
necessarily dull as well- blah blah blah, you've heard it...) I'm 
saying: is the only difference between these words the context in 
which they would be appropriate, or are there further differences 
in meaning as well? Dan, please say... Please please and thank 
you!

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 01:13:09 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.68

:1. Jamal River:  A skit about Toby and Hastapasta.  
:Featuring the little men who live in one's eyes and tourette's.
:
this was funny in the same way that all those random sketches are 
funny.  it was funny. i laughed.  i like laughing.  but with the 
exception of the memorable part where Jamal's character saw his 
reflection in Neil's character's eyes and poked them, this one 
didn't thrill me beyond the usual laughter.

:2. Al Angel:  "Music is like my butthole, large and in charge, by 
:Kyle Lang"  Pretty good song.  i used to always get bored in songs 
but i don't anymore.  i like them.  my favorite part was the blue-
spotted underwear.  i also enjoyed the semi-falsetto Al sang in.
:
:3.Adam Burton and Chris Okishi: How I become the president of a 
:company
cool concept, and from what I discussed with them later, it had an 
interesting spirit of cooperation in how it was written.  unusual 
subject matter and well-executed.
:
:4. Alyssa Bowman:  The death of Bill Murry.
Alyssa obviously lives with Chris and Jamal.  this influence is 
apparent in her absurdist writing style, which is cool.  i'm glad 
she's writing for real instead of just donating her name like the 
old days.  and i guess, while it's not really my favorite style, 
the absurdist humor adds to the variety, without which No Shame 
would be full of boring monologues and bad shit.  so good shit is 
good.  good Alyssa.  good butt.

:5. Nickbone the not-nozebone the band:  "Honey-bee"
i loved the vocal duet.  i suspect it was rehearsed more than one 
might guess, because they had the timing right on most of the time 
and sang pretty much in unison.  nozebone-almost is cool.  nozebone 
is almost cool.  but whoever said ryan is fat is mean.  i think it 
was chris.
:
:5.5. Something Sly and Another Guy: the slapping thing
definitely fresh.  i was a little horrified, but that's why i go to 
No Shame, to be horrified in a good way.  i was horrified in a bad 
way by a couple of other pieces, so this one didn't bother me, 
although rumor has it it really bothered some other people.  i 
meant "fresh" in the sense that it was original and unpredictable, 
not like the Fresh Prince.  i didn't need the guy with his pants 
down, though.  i don't need most guys with their pants down.
:
:6. Aprille Clarke:  Why I Hate the French and All Doctors Except 
Chris Okiishi
my monologue...and i fear my monologues are getting formulaic.  oh 
well.  i have an absurdist sketch i'm working on for some time in 
the next few weeks.

:7. Some guy and Gryphn: the date thing with the tape recorder and 
the metatheatricality.  i didn't really believe it, and i'm getting 
tired of this metatheater stuff anyway.  some funny lines, but the 
technology didn't work too well.  better than that pants thing, 
though.
:
:8. Ben Schmidt:  "Passion"
hot.  no other way to describe it.  someone once complained in my 
presence that Ben always does songs that seem to be an attempt to 
get him laid.  so what?  rawr.

:9. Ryan Greenlaw:  Driving in an oven.
funny.  Ryan is the funniest guy ever.  i've seen him do better 
stuff...and this might be funnier for someone who wasn't familiar 
with him and his whole...way of being.  but it was good anyway.  
the whole thing about arguing over who was prettier caught me off 
guard and made me laugh.  good lines, good delivery.  some time 
i'll tell you a true story about which non-human animal Ryan would 
most like to have sex with and why.
:
:10.  Mike Cassady: the one Arlen did with the spice girls lunch 
box.  mike's mom is very understanding of her son's art, i think.  
funny and gross and good.  i wondered why the tampon was so clean, 
though, if it had been found in a vagina.  and i wondered why it 
was still in its applicator.
:
:11. Chris Okishi:  complex monologue about being a human, being a 
gay human, being a beaten up human.  since i don't know exactly 
what he was responding to or exactly how he was doing it, i don't 
know how much to credit him with, but the piece was great.  the 
character was really well-established, and i enjoyed his roundabout 
way of getting to the plot points.  well-written and good concept, 
even if he lifted it.
:
:11.5 R. Stangl:  A Comedy Skit  "ball fight"
my favorite part was when, after the ball fight, they looked at 
each other with expressions that said "i'm sorry."  

:12. Balls Campell:  Warner Bros., 1941.
a character monologue...great energy, even if the old studio guy 
reminiscing about old movies has been done (and Balls knows this 
and acknowledged it).  maybe it's just something everybody has to 
do at some point.  hey, next week everybody write one, ok?  yeah!
:
:13. ___ Rust:  My friends
:this didn't really...go anywhere, did it?  i mean, it was ok...his 
delivery was rather charming and i enjoyed his big nose, but it got 
a little tedious because he was neither making any points nor 
saying anything really funny.  but he was a first-timer, right?  he 
showed potential.  he was better than a lot of first-timers.  and 
his piece was double-spaced so the pages went rather fast.
:
:14. Julia Wilder:  Roman Expositions: The quiet sunset cooling 
:over Caesar's Last Breaths
couldn't stand it.  self-indulgent, delivered in a style that 
annoyed me, neither funny nor insightful.  if i'm going to listen 
to a monologue on a topic i don't especially care about (actually, 
that's not true...i sort of am interested in Latin, but this piece 
actually had the effect of making me uninterested in a topic i sort 
of like), it's going to have to be delivered and written well.

:15. R. S. T. Covax:  the beer thing
obvious punchline.  the delivery on the part of the bartender was 
kind of funny, but the girl's acting was so bad i had trouble 
focusing on what he was saying.  this was a one-gag piece that 
should have ended way sooner.
:
:16. R. Stangl:  Circus Fun
sweet and tender, which is refreshing after last week's bag of AIDS 
thing.  great imagery, including the menstrual stuff, which i 
always enjoy.  the menstrual stuff (and the gory mouth stuff) kept 
it from getting sickeningly sweet (though it may, in fact, have 
been sickening for people with delicate dispositions).

good week, overall.  low percentage of clunkers.

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 02:55:20 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

My birthday, no less, and I foolishly thought I'd already posted 
this, but clearly I did not!  Sorrows all around.

1)    Customer Service by JP Claussen
2)    Equus 2.0 by Mike Cassady
2.5)  Dr. Comedy's Diagnosis?  Human Misery! by Chris Stangl
3)    Arron by Don Deeley
4)    Co-Dependent/Divorce Song by Nozebone "Liz Phair" the Band
5)    Taco-Snacking, Basic Cable Version by Aprille Clarke
6)    Doctor Mario by Alyssa Bowman
7)    The Death of a Salesman by Boris
8)    FACE: A 3-Minute Play for Joanna and Her Friend by Al Angel
9)    The Miserable Tale of Duct Tape Man by rom Kovacs
10)   Next to You by Ben Schmidt
11)   Walking in the Eating Paste Place by Arlen Lawson
12)   Necktie Sinclair by Neil "Balls" Campbell
13)   Facing My Fears by Daniel Andrlik
14)   Wrap that Rascal by Aaron Galbraith
15)   Getting it On" by Allison Hetley and Beth Meiers
16)   The Joshuas Needed a Fence by Chris Stangl

Again, sorry, sorry, soooo sorry for being late...

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 03:06:25 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

Here we go:

1)  "Hammin'" It Up on A Side of "Wry"ness by Jamal River
2)  Music is Like My Butt-Hole:  Large and in Charge by Kyle 
Lang.  A Song by Al Angel
3)  Advancement by Entropy by Adam Burton and Chris Okiishi
4)  James Pond by Alyssa Bowman
5)  Honeybee by Almost Nozebone the Band
5.5) Did You Know That It Is Homecoming Weekend? by Steven Slye 
and Ben Heinen
6)  Why I Hate the French and All Doctors Except Chris Okiishi 
by Aprille Clarke
7)  Two Gentlemen of Twelth Night by Spencer Griffin
8)  Passion by Ben
8.5) Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw
9)  This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady
10) Faithless:  A Response to Neil LaBute's A Gaggle of Saints 
by Christopher Okiishi
11) How to Rool a Joint by Joe Brokken  (NOT PERFORMED!!!)
11.5) The Fight by Chris Stangl
12) Cary and Me by Neil "Balls" Campbell
13) All My Friends Have Been on Covers of Entertainment Weekly 
by Paul Rust
14) I'll Take Spartacus Over Gladiator Any Day by Julia Wilder
15) A Short Draft About BEER by Thomas Kovacs
16) Circus Fun by Chris Stangl (for Dad)

Discuss...oh, you already are...

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 04:09:39 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

I haven't done a review for a while, so I thought I take a stab 
at it.

1)  "Hammin'" It Up on A Side of "Wry"ness by Jamal River
2)  Music is Like My Butt-Hole:  Large and in Charge by Kyle 
Lang.  A Song by Al Angel
3)  Advancement by Entropy by Adam Burton and Chris Okiishi
4)  James Pond by Alyssa Bowman
5)  Honeybee by Almost Nozebone the Band

Sadly, I had to work and missed all of these.  I did get to read 
them, though, and if they worked as intended, then, bravo!  
(Personal aside--it was cool working with Adam again, and I wish 
I could have heard him do the piece.)

5.5) Did You Know That It Is Homecoming Weekend? by Steven Slye 
and Ben Heinen

This was some pretty good slapping and punching.  Marred only by 
vague lighting cues which hamstrung poor Kerry Lane, and made 
the piece fizzle where it should have popped.  I was so 
enthralled that I didn't notice that the sign guy turned over 
his sign to reveal something--anyone get it?

6)  Why I Hate the French and All Doctors Except Chris Okiishi 
by Aprille Clarke

So pleased to be not hated.  And, no, Aprille, your monologues, 
in my opinion, are not getting formulaic at all.  I really got 
into this one, a more steady slow burn satire rather than a 
quick change-up.  Especially solid delivery made it go over 
particularly well.

7)  Two Gentlemen of Twelfth Night by Spencer Griffin

I was in the light booth for this one, and I worried when, on 
the last page, they made a sudden departure from the script.  I 
was enjoying the voice-over stuff, as clearly was the audience.  
Nothing ground-breaking, but some nice work.  Then, they had to 
get all "Teatro Obscuro" on us.  And, it didn't work, IMHO.  
Went on too long, the actors didn't seem to be relating, which 
may just mean it was under-rehearsed, but it pretty much fell 
apart.  AND not warning the light op of their plans undid them 
as well.  Rather than leaving the audience uncomfortable with 
having witnessed an outpouring of raw emotion, we were instead 
just left embarrassed for them.  Not the intended effect, I'll 
bet.  Too bad.

8)  Passion by Ben

As if responding to criticism that his songs were "sounding the 
same", he pulls out this harder-rocking gem.  I couldn't hear 
the lyrics too well, but the energy was palpable and, as Aprille 
aptly noted, pretty arousing.  

8.5) Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw

Well delivered and blessedly short.  Every time I cross a long 
bridge, I imagine it's the opening or closing credits to some 
film, and crank the stereo really loud, so I really dug the 
central image of this piece.  I'm not usually making eggs 
though.  

9)  This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady

Somehow, Mike managed to meld his voice to Stangl's, yet still 
fit Arlen's cadences to a "t".  The dog named "Spice-Girls Lunch 
Box" nearly made me pee.

10) Faithless:  A Response to Neil LaBute's A Gaggle of Saints 
by Christopher Okiishi

A note of clarification--in LaBute's "Bash", there is a story of 
three young men who wander away from a formal party at the plaza 
and end up killing a random gay man.  I wanted to know more 
about the victim, so I switched the perspective, gave him a back 
story, and tried to play on similar themes of family, love and 
safety.  The looking at the moon, the basic mechanics of the 
beating, and the assailants in tuxedos were borrowed.  The rest 
was pretty much mine.  Try to catch the original on Showtime to 
see Paul Rudd, Calista Flockhart and Ron Ellard give amazing 
life to some brutal work, much different from his more 
recent "Nurse Betty."    

11) How to Rool a Joint by Joe Brokken  (NOT PERFORMED!!!)

Someone said something about this being "the pizza delivery 
guy".  I didn't understand--could someone explain??

11.5) The Fight by Chris Stangl

Cute.  Quick.  Reminiscent of an older piece in which Adam and 
some other guy put a wrestling match in the middle of one of 
their pieces, with the winner not clearly defined ahead of 
time.  (By reminiscent I mean "reminded me of" not "clearly 
plagiarized from", by the way, lest I be misconstrued.)  Nice 
closing image of the abandoned friend alone on the stage.  

12) Cary and Me by Neil "Balls" Campbell

Neil does the Judy Garland monolog, and it still works!  The 
similarities in character were evident, but Stangl's version was 
more bitter, whilst Campbell's more sexual.  Either way, seen as 
an homage, a riff, or a parallel, I laughed a whole bunch, 
enjoyed Neil's signature physicality, and remembered why I liked 
the Chris' earlier piece so much.  The underbelly of the 
Hollywood Golden Era is too large a target for just one author.

13) All My Friends Have Been on Covers of Entertainment Weekly 
by Paul Rust

I thought this was just terrific--a little long by about one 
famous-looking friend, but delivered with energy, style (did you 
see those page turns???) and wit to spare.  Strongest debut in a 
while.  WRITE MORE!

14) I'll Take Spartacus Over Gladiator Any Day by Julia Wilder

The problem is this--Ms. Wilder clearly is enjoying her pieces 
better than we are, IMHO.  She has a lot to say, some 
interesting specific information, some clever ideas, so why 
doesn't it work?  For me, it's the off-putting delivery, the I'm-
too-clever-by-half tone that keeps me wholly disengaged from her 
piece.  Also, her ad-libed asides add nothing but to betray her 
contempt for, or at least her need to feel superior to the 
audience.  The is made evident in the last line of her piece--"I 
can laugh at everyone!"  Maybe so, but you're laughing alone.  

She is not an talent-free author.  On the page, her stuff reads 
better.  If she were to ask my opinion, which she did not, I 
would just ask her to PLEASE write something she really knows, 
rather than something she has studied.  Open up.  Be vulnerable 
in English next time.  And, though I tread well into hypocrisy 
here, be shorter.  

15) A Short Draft About BEER by Thomas Kovacs

Needed to be restaged, thought I.  Less acting from the woman, 
and more focus on the guy, who did a nice delivery of the litany 
of beer products, which could have been shorter and still made 
the point.  Didn't hate it.  Keep writing.  

16) Circus Fun by Chris Stangl (for Dad)

A prime example of less is more.  So hard to do "weary" well, 
but Chris made it look easy.  (Okay, so maybe after Julia's 
Latin marathon, he had no other choice...)  About halfway 
through, I realized who was who in the piece, and it kinda made 
me sad thinking about young Chris inadvertently making his dad's 
life hell.  So much compassion for the father--so rare in 
writing by children.  I was transfixed and didn't want it to 
end.  More so even than usual, this was a perfect capper to the 
night.  Thank you.  I went home and wrote a e-mail to my dad.

Time: Mon, 09-Oct-2000 14:18:47 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.129

Excellent No Shame!
I've not been in far too long and thought it was both tasty and 
good.  Nice job all!
Just a brief commentary on a few particulars:
Highs:
Ben's fantastic song (duh)
Paul Rust's No Shame debut (bravo!!!)
Ryan Greenlaw's Oven story - dig!  More!
Chris Okiishi's Faithless
And foremostly, I enjoyed Advancement in Entropy - it was like a 
bundle of the movies Office Space and the Hudsucker Proxy, 
combined with probable real-life experience (*bucough, Adam, heh*) 
which I could identify with all too well.  Damn world of post-its 
and file folders!

Lows:
I always cringe when anyone brings a boombox on stage, and it 
appears for good reason.  It's just never a good idea, seemingly. 
 The two fellas/ guy and gal on a date just kinda flopped.  As 
noted, some nice lines...but waaay too long, predictable and...
um, why the tape recorder?  Just speak as an aside and save the 
trouble, I vote.
 
I also always universally cringe when someone lights a candle, and 
 my did that fear prove to be justified.  Firstly and foremostly, 
Gladiator was fantastic.  Sure, it ain't no Spartacus, but that's 
no reason to rip it.  That off my chest, yikes.  Way too long.  
Let me repeat, way too long.  And as Chris pointed out, there's 
just a sense of the performer thinking she's better than 
everyone...and proving herself incorrect that makes one want to 
squirm out of one's seat.  This seems like material that may go 
over decently on a page...but not on a stage.  In the end, it was 
one of the least tolerable No Shame sketches I've ever seen to be 
perfectly honest.  I felt as though the performer had no concept 
of whether the audience was interested/ entertained by her piece, 
as though it was only important that she was entertained by it.
 
And finally, that Beer sketch.  The punchline was clear from circa 
20 seconds into the piece, and when finally delivered caused a 
knee-jerk "Booooo!" from me for the first time in my No Shame 
career.  Not horribly performed, but perhaps poorly conceived, 
there are better, shorter, wiser ways to do pieces like this 'un.


And that's my lengthy write-up for what was actually a really 
great show.  Aside from the three I ranted about, nothing too 
long, too lame, or too dippy. Not half bad for 2 hours of 
material, I tells ya.  
Good No Shame, yis!

-GM

Time: Mon, 09-Oct-2000 14:19:42 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Why has Ms. Ahrendt chosen to abandon us??!!  When will she be 
back??!!

Time: Mon, 09-Oct-2000 15:10:23 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Speaking of abandonment fears, SO NICE to have Mr. Mitchell back! 
I could hear his curly, warm inflections riddling his post and it 
made me all a-tingle.  Like smelling your grandfather's pipe 
smoke or hearing that Olivia Newton-John song from Junior High--I 
was taken back to a sweet and alarming place.  Thank you, Greg.

NOW WRITE SOMETHING!  

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 01:08:17 GMT     IP: 63.210.218.75


Well, that's a damned good question, Jamal. I'm inclined to say 
that the only real difference between the words is the context in 
which they're appropriate -- like "hot" and "loud" are synonymns 
when referring to microphones, but not true synonymns because they 
don't mean the same thing in every context. Of course, by that 
definition, almost no English words I can think of are true 
synonyms. Although I can only think of seven English words right 
now, so that might not stovepipe running bucket winelist boss 
hairball poonta

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 01:15:06 GMT     IP: 63.210.218.75


I promise not to be one of those old burnt-out losers who spooks 
around the various No Shame forums, but I was perusing the order 
to take my mind off being an old, burnt-out loser and I just want 
to point out that Spencer Griffin went to my high school, which is 
Valley High School, which is about the most miserable place you 
can possibly go to high school in the world, except for maybe the 
barbed-wire-and-metal-detectors high school down the street from 
wher I live now.
That is a

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 01:20:18 GMT     IP: 63.210.218.75


Okay, now I clearly am the aforementioned creepy loser guy. But 
let me keep reminiscing for a second.

Says Chris:
12) Cary and Me by Neil "Balls" Campbell

Neil does the Judy Garland monolog, and it still works!  The 
similarities in character were evident, but Stangl's version was 
more bitter, whilst Campbell's more sexual.  Either way, seen as 
an homage, a riff, or a parallel, I laughed a whole bunch, 
enjoyed Neil's signature physicality, and remembered why I liked 
the Chris' earlier piece so much.  The underbelly of the 
Hollywood Golden Era is too large a target for just one author.

Check out "Young Jacob Schreck's Inheritance: A Brutal Piece for 
Bad People" in the archives from my sophomore year. My version was 
not as good as Chris's, and I suspect not as good as Neil's.

That's the last one. I promise.

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 02:54:59 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.150

Actually, before Dan pointed it out himself, I meant to post 
something saying that lest we forget, I not only ripped off 
Stangl's Judy Garland piece, but Dan's Jacob Schreck piece as 
well (which I have read in the past).

Or was it an homage? Or a riff?

Anyway, mucho props to Dan and Stangl for their inspiration, 
because I definitely took the premise from them, but I believe 
that's where the similarites end. The actual "plots" in each of 
these pieces varied wildly--only on the most basic level did they 
share anything in common. And I was passionate enough about what 
I was writing (and believed that it had an originality all its 
own) to write and perform it despite knowing that the obvious 
comparisons to Dan and Stangl's past work would be made. If that 
says anything.

Agree? Disagree? Lance a white gorilla through the heart?

I am a bear in a cave.

Balls-Sack  

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 02:59:47 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.150

ALSO...

Don't forget, the Iowa City Gazette is publishing an article 
about No Shame this Friday, October the Friday the 13th. Spooky, 
eh?  So go ahead and buy a copy or few. Who knows what wacky 
photos will be included?  Maybe you or me!

Ha ha ha!

Balls 

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 14:48:06 GMT     IP: 130.91.24.47

 
:And as Chris pointed out, there's 
:just a sense of the performer thinking she's better than 
:everyone...and proving herself incorrect that makes one want to 
:squirm out of one's seat.  This seems like material that may go 
:over decently on a page...but not on a stage.  In the end, it was 
:one of the least tolerable No Shame sketches I've ever seen to be 
:perfectly honest.  I felt as though the performer had no concept 
:of whether the audience was interested/ entertained by her piece, 
:as though it was only important that she was entertained by it.

Didn't see last week's show, but the descriptions of this piece 
make me want to write a monologue for this kind of character.  She 
should be a recurring character--showing up in lots of pieces by 
different people.

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 18:15:32 GMT     IP: 216.248.77.2

If any of you guys know who rocks, please tell me....If you do, 
I'll give you head

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 20:04:14 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.110

:ripped off Stangl's Judy Garland piece, Dan's Jacob Schreck piece

     ...and "A Mickey Mouse Cartoon," by me, which was, again, 
the same set-up in more hateful drag.

:Or was it an homage? Or a riff?

     More like "new piece." My personal pedigree/ official line 
says that I hadn't seen "Schreck" (I wasn't attending regularly 
at the time) nor read it before writing "Judy Garland is Dead," 
but that I was ripping of D.P. "Double Penetration" Brooks simply 
in the general sense.  My brains claimed to be inspired by:
    1): Kenneth Anger's must-read-for-all-queer-youth "Hollywood 
Babylon," which will show you naked pictures of Jean Harlow, 
details of R. Valentino's lesbian wives and a photo captioned 
"Jayne Mansfield's dead dog."  My first-English-edition, needless 
to say, is much beloved by me.
    2): That episode of "Ren And Stimpy" where "Walter Cobb," a 
disintegrating animation baron waxes nonsensical about the olden 
days.

     Balls, you make up a new character, slanted the structure in 
shifty new ways, introduced valuable phrase "lots of messy dick-
sex" to household usage, created new framing devices, blah blah, 
all to the point that: a new piece, fresh enough to please me, 
and that is all that matters, right? Pleasing me?

        -Rev. Chris Stangl, lusterlacker

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 21:52:11 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.110

A Review of 10-whatever-2000 While I Simultaneously Play "Super 
Mario World"
Rev. C. Stangl

1) River "'Hammin'' It Up"
I was excited to see this had real Jokes and a semblance of a 
Premise, but still written in that idiot man-child style that 
makes dreadful things like comedy sketches tolerable. No "belly 
laughs," but many "screaming laughs," which I actually prefer.

1) Angel "Music is Like My Butt-Hole"
Kind of long for a song that doesn't develop past single cycle.  
Voice and guitar were nice once warmed up, but this droned, and 
I couldn't put the lyrics together for whatever reason, possibly 
the droning.

1) Okiishi/Burton "Advancement"
Er, this was a "Seinfeld" episode, Adam Burton as non-frenzied 
Kramer variation being trapped-in-office-building angle from 
"Gremlins 2."

2) Bowman "James Pond"
As loving tribute to Bill Murray Club, very nice.  Perfect twist 
at the end, doing exactly what good twists do, turning 
everything skull-end-down but it all makes such SENSE.  Aces 
tempering of straightforward monologue with screaming-idiot 
interruptions.

5) Nozebone "Honeybee"
This was the innocent Daniel-Johnston-side of Nozebone.  Folk-
art rock (I don't mean "art rock" and I don't mean "folk rock"), 
and its jaggedy edges are Howard-Finster-wide-eyed, not cynical 
DIY punky, and that is admirable.  Nozebone is the frayed edge 
on torn-out spiral-binding notebook paper.  Fuck perforations, 
jack!

5.5)Slye/ Heinen "Homecoming Weekend"
     I was making a lot of happy noise during this, but 
through no fault of the sketch.  Extremely shrill gay lad, who 
was far too excited about his makeshift drag for S. Griffin's 
skit, was making loud, loud, loud horrified sounds during every 
stage combat move.  This was funnier than the skit, which was 
either Erwin/ Brooks' perfect "Darkness" minus funny dialogue or 
River's genius "Puncheroo" minus funny dialogue.
     The punchline you all seem to have missed (it went by 
too fast) explained that this is, indeed homecoming weekend, and 
that, presumably, is why to guys are smacking each other on the 
faces.

6) Clarke "French and Doctors"
     Maybe the snapper ending (Dr. is crazed, self-mutilating 
psych ward inmate) - which wasn't out of thin air, or anything, 
built-to acceptably- compromised anything Serious being said on 
the psycho-societal dynamix of birthing, and it may have 
confused instead of complicated the character (the first half 
would appear to just be a funny stand-up routine on how gross_ 
and pleasurably gross childbirth is), but I also don't know if I 
care, since it snapped the narrative into place and was funny.  
"Psycho-societal" is not a word, and this was neither 
comprehensible sentence nor useful comment.  Thank you.
     Like Okiishi, even when the writing is flawed, Clarke is 
a smart, engaging performer, and can charm the audience through 
the material.

7) Griffin "Two Gentleman"
Title was grossly misspelled.  K. Lange mistook my [sic] notes 
in order for pieces of the title, when really I just wanted him 
not to correct the typos: "Two Gentleman of Twelth Night."
Like "Saturday Night Live" but uh_ less jokes.  Fake Fight 
ending: never mind that this will be nearly never convincing: 
this was boring, more or less the same two lines ("You are gay, 
Gay Spencer! Come out to me!" "What the hell? I am not a 
gayness!") over. And over. And ove- and then they were gone and 
didn't come back.

8) Schmidt "Passion"
Er_ this sounded less "sexy" to me than it sounded "disturbingly 
like Richard Marx"_!!!!

8.5) Greenslaw "Gas, Gas, Gas"
I could listen to Ryan talk all night.  I could pocket-fuck him, 
too.  Wisely brief, too.

9) Cassady "This Monologue"
See comments on #12 below, except this time the dick and dead 
dog jokes didn't seem to add up to a terrible lot besides some 
funny dick and dead dog jokes.  That's fine, `course_ that's why 
I come to No Shame.

10) Okiishi "Faithless"
     Moving, natch, if prosy.  Not, to me, most valuable as 
an indictment of violence against gay persons, but as a metaphor 
for the sheer adrenaline-flavored happy horror of a nervous, 
excited, tentative coming out (which might be the only kind they 
are).  That said, pair it with "I Like Dick" as the flip side of 
Okiishi's most powerful duet as a queer American voice in the 
early century, and with Refrigerator as the same on mortality. 
(note to self: make all sentences convoluted as possible)

11.5) Stangl "Fight"
     Highlight: touching Jar Jar Lawson's balls.  Again.

12) Balls "Cary and Me"
     Balls monologues always get flying saliva on me.  If 
it's composed of mostly penis jokes, it adds up to more.  It 
adds up to an unexpected questioning of the delicate shading of 
sexual identity and its complications by art and fame, and 
goddamn it, those were some funny homo jokes, man.

13) Rust "My Friends"
     Same thing four times.  I didn't care.  The friendships 
of grown men are always funny to me.  Mentioning "Hey, Dude" is 
funny.  Wheelchair jokes are funny.  Needed a trim, needed some 
variation.  I loved how this was actually very bilious, but 
delivered joyously.

14) Wilder "Spartacus Over Gladiator"
     Were Wilder PLAYING a brazen asshole, openly insulting 
the audience (A. Kaufmann), this could be a lot of fun.  And if 
she were simply, from-de-heart, insulting the audience, she'd at 
least have her integrity in-tact_ But she wants to IMPRESS the 
audience by pretending she's smarter, and that's juvenile and 
desperate.
     Antagonizing, alienating- even flatly insulting- the 
audience is not "off limits," but if you don't give an audience 
ANYTHING to hold on to, they don't have a reason to look at you 
on stage for five minutes, and you don't HAVE an audience 
anymore.  Options include but are not limited to: inviting 
audience to feel smug WITH you (Dennis Miller); turning the 
mirror on your derision (J -&- E Coen); making the audience angry 
at the ignorance of the world at large AND Julia Wilder AND 
themselves, by implication (R. Crumb); actually learning to 
pronounce Latin, not just read it haltingly from your script.
     "Sparticus" is pompous, stylish trash that thinks it's 
classy and compromises fun in the process.  "Gladiator" is idiot 
fun, and doesn't have pretensions to anything else.  Judge ye.

15) Kovacs "BEER"
     I don't really like the Monty Python "SPAM" sketch, and 
besides the "SPAM Song" sketch was always just a funnier-
retooling of the tedious "Cheese Shop" sketch, and I know Mr. 
Kovacs has never heard it, but he was also ripping off this 
short rant about soda pops of the midwest, by Kim Daniels, which 
Mr. Daniels read to me and J. River in our kitchen one time, and 
he got spit on our floor.  Talking fast/ long isn't inherently 
funny (see Eric Idle in that travel agent sketch), and like this 
book "Worst Rock n' Roll Records" said about B. Joel's "We 
Didn't Start the Fire," "a list is not a song."  A list can be a 
song, of course, but you unnastand?  Sketches are built on gags, 
not gimmicks.

16) Stangl "Circus Fun"
     Just for "fun fakts" the important bits are "true," but 
shuffled/ compressed (i.e. my head was stuck a railing at an 
airport and my foot in a theatre seat during "Raiders of the 
Lost Arc," not an automatic door), and, yes, Circus Fun was 
discontinued in 1986.

Time: Wed, 11-Oct-2000 15:17:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.71


:
:1) River "'Hammin'' It Up"
The same basic kind of thing AJMR always does, basically, and still 
funny as the dickens.

:1) Angel "Music is Like My Butt-Hole"
This appealed to me greatly.  I liked the lyrics a lot.  It was a 
sweet song, and I am in no position to critique anyone musically.


:1) Okiishi/Burton "Advancement"
I liked the idea a lot.  It was a neat sort of spooky 
overdevelopment of the feeling most people who've had job 
interviews have had.  But it seemed to be a little long on the 
monologue/exposition.

:2) Bowman "James Pond"
Yeay.  That is alls that I can say, because Alyssa is finally 
writing her own comedy pieces and they rock.  She knows exactly how 
big to make a piece, so that it can get all the laughs it can, and 
yet never drag or annoyingly repeat.  And this is only like her 
third piece or something.
:5) Nozebone "Honeybee"
Stangl's review of this notwithstanding, it was the weakest 
Nozebone song so far (not counting the first one, let's all do our 
best to forget that first song, shall we).  The lyrics might have 
shown some of the innocence of Daniel Johnston but showed nothing 
of his vulnerability, which is why listening to him is so heart 
rending.  The reaction to this song would be more "Ha he's so 
desparate he has to befriend the bee that just wants his soda" 
instead of "I see myself in the sick desparation of a man whose 
only friend is a hostile bee", and the latter reaction would serve 
Nozebone better.  also, what's this business about harold finster?  
I mean, I guess both he and daniel johnston are crazy people who 
love god and make 'primative' artwork, but I don't see how he 
applies to Nozebone, exactly.
:5.5)Slye/ Heinen "Homecoming Weekend"
I want to see more pieces like this.  Genius in its simplicity and 
obscurity and brevity.
:6) Clarke "French and Doctors"
Yet another wonderfully twisted Aprille monologue.  Got perhaps a 
little too far into the guts 'n' gore thing so popular at NS these 
days for my tastes, but still pretty rockin' and surprisingly 
believably delivered.  The offensive jokes about welfare mothers 
got old, but all in all worked well.  I am falling asleep at the 
computer so the following reviews will be even more lame.
:
:7) Griffin "Two Gentleman"
The good thing about this was that it used the audio visual 
materials so much better than 'pants the musical' and was generally 
on a much higher level than that piece.  The fake-out ending is 
almost always predictable, especially to a NS audience which has 
been innundated by them in the last few semesters.  Not only is it 
predictable, but it is TIRED.  Nonetheless, if this piece were 
compressed into a tiny ball and set on my lap, I would love it and 
watch it over and over again.

:8) Schmidt "Passion"
Just when you think Ben has played really great songs of all kinds, 
he goes and pulls out some crazy Ani DiFranco funk-folk type sound 
that drives the crowds insane with jealousy.

:8.5) Greenslaw "Gas, Gas, Gas"
I had to ask Ryan what kind of eggs one cooks in an oven.  I was 
thinking souffle, but Ryan said, no, it was an oven with a stovetop 
on it.  I laughed and laughed at this one.  Whoo!

:9) Cassady "This Monologue"
I forget this piece.  I will review it when I wake up.

:10) Okiishi "Faithless"
All of Okiishi's monologues are fantastic.  They are usually long, 
but they always justify their length.  I have nothing else to say.

:11.5) Stangl "Fight"
Cute.  Gave Stangl and Aprille an excuse to suck face like mad 
face-suckers, which struck me as pretty funny of itself.

:12) Balls "Kehri Grant and Me"
This was truly funny and yes i did think of all the other sex with 
famous people skits that have been done, but this showed a 
different vein of research as well as a different brand of humor, 
level of energy, type of character etc.

:13) Rust "My Friends"
Energy of performance was soo great.  I really hadn't expected this 
from seeing the guy in the lounge looking nervous.  The text 
could've been trimmed, but I didn't really care because it had 
enough going for it that, even though part of me said "the joke has 
been made", I didn't really care that I was still hearing the joke, 
because the writing and the performance made it work for that long.
:
:14) Wilder "Spartacus Over Gladiator"
I completely entirely review with what Chris' agree of this piece 
said.  What he said.
:
:16) Stangl "Circus Fun"
Sweet and funny in that kind of haunting daniel johnston 
vulnerability way that I mentioned earlier.

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 03:40:05 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.206

   The "Seinfeld" episode with Kramer subplot spookily 
resembling Burton/ Okiishi's "Advancement" from last Friday is:
"The Bizarro Jerry", first aired October 3, 1996

           Chris Stangl, president of reserching!

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 14:25:52 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:   The "Seinfeld" episode with Kramer subplot spookily 
:resembling Burton/ Okiishi's "Advancement" from last Friday is:
:"The Bizarro Jerry", first aired October 3, 1996

That IS bizarro.  I came up with the idea based on some oddities 
overheard re: another department near where I work (where this one 
guy gets paid a lot more than some others, but none of the grunts 
have been told if he's one of their supervisors or just not a part 
of the hierarchy).  I guess there's nothing new under the sun...

-Adam

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 15:48:31 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Actually, the Seinfeld episode that our skit reminds me of the 
most is "The Barber" from 11/11/93, in the which George has a job 
interview, isn't sure whether or not he got the job, but shows up 
anyway, takes an abandoned office, and begins work on the Pinsky 
file.  Since he is there and "working," he is assumed to be a 
part of the office machinery.  His attempts, however, do not have 
the empowering results that Adam's character experienced.

Also, the idea of anonymity giving power in the office world was 
explored in "Clockwatchers" (an under-rated 1998 Toni Colette, 
Parker Posey, Lisa Kudrow film that I would highly 
recommend), "The Secret of My Success" (Michael J. Fox is really 
a mail-room worker, but everyone upstairs thinks he's "the new 
guy") and "Working Girl"  (Melanie Griffith is a secretary 
with "a head for business and a bod for sin").  

Other influences include:  "The West Wing" (political consultant 
gets foot in the door by pretending she was already hired), 
Steven Speilberg's real life story (he snuck away from a 
Universal Studio's lot tour, found an abandoned cabana, started 
writing, and didn't leave until he had his first movie deal), and 
our collective 25 years of office work which has shown us three 
things:  1)  People do advance in an organization just by hanging 
around and being innocuous.  2)  The larger the corporation, the 
less clear who has seniority over someone else (the idea of this 
sketch came from Adam's experience with a co-worker whom no one 
was sure if he was a supervisor or not and my experience of 
assuming one of my subordinates was actually my boss because she 
knew more than I did).  3)  New ideas look a lot like the old.

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 19:38:31 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.91

         The GRANDFATHER CLAUSE

   The passage in Vladimir Nabokov's 1972 novel "Transparent 
Things" spookily resembling Chris Stangl's "Twenty Five Cents" 
is chapter 3, pgs. 6-8, Vintage International edition.  In these 
works a tiny, mundane action (Nabokov: picking up a pencil, 
Stangl: droping a quarter) is frozen and a multitude of 
accidental elements (N: construction of the pencil, S: 
alterations in environs of day-old bread store) are traced 
through a willy-nilly temporal webwork all adding up to This One 
Moment.
   Narrative device of all action occurring in frozen fractions 
of a second is uncatalogable, but author was undoubtedly swiping 
from Nicholson Baker's "The Mezzanine" and "The Fermata" and 
comics writer Alan Moore's infamous "Twilight of the Superheroes 
Proposal," in which all the action takes place in the time it 
takes to answer the question "Got a light?"
        Also... your mother.
                   -Rev. Chris Sta. Ngl.

Time: Fri, 13-Oct-2000 17:16:47 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.227

Go buy that Iowa City Gazette today.  See the photo featuring 
Alyssa Bowman, then read the caption that claims she's Chris 
Okiishi!

Actually, that's the only error I saw. And maybe it's not even 
an error--maybe Alyssa pulled a terrible prank on that poor 
photographer. ?. The article's cool, mostly an introductory 
thing for the uninformed, and it includes several fun and wacky 
photos from last week's show.  Hey, it's the cover story! For 
the weekend section!

.Balls told you this.

Time: Fri, 13-Oct-2000 17:54:32 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.156

:Go buy that Iowa City Gazette today.  See the photo featuring 
:
Alyssa Bowman, then read the caption that claims she's Chris 
:
Okiishi!
:

in fact, she alyssa is named "chris okiiski", and the pictures, i 
concur with monsiere balls, are wonderful.  

i sure do love a news!

i also love alyssa okiiski.

this has been a pubelick service pronouncement.

Time: Fri, 13-Oct-2000 23:35:19 GMT     IP: 208.142.209.46


:Actually, that's the only error I saw. 

well, they got my name wrong too; they called me MariCata, Princess 
of the Porcupine People.  but hey, it happens.

Time: Sat, 14-Oct-2000 07:56:07 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.143

I finally started to put together a page on my website about Nozebone the Band.  It is painfully
lame at the moment, but at least you 
can learn the name of that crazy instrument that I play.  Here is the address of my website for
those of you who don't already know:  
http://angelfire/ia/lucre

-love nick.

Time: Mon, 16-Oct-2000 00:59:38 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.19

All right.

I finally, finally updated my web site.  A lot of it is the same, 
but much of it is different.  So if you like different, check it 
out.

Just so you know.

--Al

Time: Mon, 16-Oct-2000 03:14:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Okay, so, after I told everyone to go look at my cheesy new web
 page for NOZEBONE THE BAND, I was informed that not all of the links to
 the Nozebone page work.  Yikes!  It should oughta be fixed now
 though.  http://angelfire/ia/lucre Enjoy, kiddos!

Time: Mon, 16-Oct-2000 14:50:34 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

In haste:

1)   The Singing Doctor by Ryan Greenlaw
2)   What Kind of Job Is It?  By Greg Mitchell
3)   Kissing Booth by Chris Stangl
4)   Dan's First Skit by Dan
5)   Sweeney Todd Bass:  The Willie Barbour of Chew Street by 
Mark J. Hansen
6)   Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ!  What's that on the cross?!  Or  
What's that o the cross?! Jesus Christ!!  A Collaboration of fun 
by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
7)   Dragonflies by Nozebone the Band
8)   Frank the Dentist by Arlen Lawson
9)   Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse and You by Paul Rust
10)  I Hate That Damn Racoon by Brandon Peterson
11)  The Tanaki Presentation by Neil "Balls" Campbell
12)  Two Monologues by Brad Smith
13)  Life Factors by Willie Barbour
14)  S'ghetti meets Balls by Aaron and Neil
15)  The Monster's Head by Chris Stangl

Okay--so there you go.  Sincerest sorry to Chris Stangl and Greg 
Mitchell for messing up the ending light cues.  My bad.  

Time: Tue, 17-Oct-2000 01:46:19 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.67

No Shame Theatre, 10-13-2000

Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
1. "The Singing Doctor" by Ryan Greenlaw
[performed by: R. Greenlaw, M. Hansen]
      Comedy sketch delivering what title promises.
2. "What Kind of Job Is It?" by Greg Mitchell
[G. Mitchell, ?]
       Trainee unwilling to fellate office manager on demand in 
comedy sketch.
3. "Kissing Booth" by Chris Stangl
[A. Lawson, C. Stangl]
      Comedy sketch.  Arlen ostracized for eating bowl of semen 
with bare hands.
4. "Dan's 1st Skit" by Dan Fairchild
[D. Fairchild, JJ Lawson]
      Comical situation for sketch: Dan is so nervous that Arlen 
must perform his monologue. Subject: Dan's "cock."
5. "Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew Street" by 
Mark J. Hansen
[M. Hansen]
     "Stupid" military general explains airborne warfare. 
Comicish monologuish.
6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
[N. Campbell, M. Cassady, A. Lawson]
     Dead-Puppy and Face-Rot ruminate on love letters and 
Arlen Lawson in comic sketch.
7. "Dragonflies" by Nozebone the band
[N. Clark, M. Hansen, W. Barbour]
     Musical dirge re: drunken frat boys, date rape, 
entomological metaphors.
8. "Frank the Dentist" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
[AJJ. Lawson]
     What became of Frank? He played solitaire, died in cave-
in. Comic monologue.
9. "Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse -&- You" by Paul Rust
[P. Rust]
     Christian watchdog group leader expounds on above topics in 
monologue format, comic style.
10. "I Hate That Damn Raccoon" by Brandon Peterson
[B. Peterson]
      Slovenly drunken young fellow seeks love via video dating 
service. Comedy monologue.
11. "The Tanaki Presentation" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
[NB. Cambpell]
      Clumsy, silly businessman's comedy monologue on personal 
life becomes suddenly wrought with tragedy, personal frustration.
12. "Two Monologues" by Brad Smith
[B. Smith]
     Two monologues, one prose snippet, dramatic: ?/description 
of scummy man/ boy anticipates beating for wilted lettuce.
13. "Life Factors" by Willie Barbour
[W. Barbour]
     Life as Pla-Doh Fun Factory, beauty smashed to shit. Sex, 
food, poetic monologue.
14. "S'ghetti Meets Balls" by Aaron (Galbraith) and Neil (Balls 
Campbell)
[NB. Campbell, A. Galbraith]
     Two men writhe in spaghetti/ make out while spouting 
pseudo-Shakespearean non sequiturs.  Horror-comedy sketch.
15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl
[C. Stangl]
     Meeting between cop and criminal in diner/ story of 
Oliver Cromwell's head illustrate nature of chance in dual-
layered dramatic/ educational/ metaphysic monologue.

Vivisect.

Rev. Chris.

Time: Tue, 17-Oct-2000 01:49:54 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.67


    I post without seeing if order posted already.
    I also forget first section of B. Smith's piece, making self 
"jackass."
    As Arlen says "I am Jar Jar!"
            -Rev. Stangl

Time: Wed, 18-Oct-2000 04:03:09 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.139

:No Shame Theatre, 10-13-2000

:Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
Balls seems to have a hard time maintaining energy during the announcements, which strikes me
as strange since this never has been 
his affliction when 'acting'.
:1. "The Singing Doctor" by Ryan Greenlaw
Not as funny as previous week's mono, but then, what could be?  This was fun just because Ryan
being funny is both hilarious and 
heartwarming, even if he has found some acharacteristically boorish way of being funny.
:2. "What Kind of Job Is It?" by Greg Mitchell
The breaking into song thing was the icing on the cake of how this just was not meant to follow
Ryan's peice.  Too similar.  Both 
Mitchell and Greenlaw have similar styles and ways of getting laughs.  Both use their naturally
awkward physicallity and  
handsomely unique voice to simultaneously charm the audience and get them to laugh.  Also the
pieces were structured similarly.  
The power dynamic between trainee and manager was a little too similar to that of doctor-patient
to allow either of the two first 
pieces to work in the long run.  In the short run, both were successful, though not as amusing as
the previous work of their authors.
:3. "Kissing Booth" by Chris Stangl
I am quite fond of Chris' current string of mini-sketches: like something out of the funny papers,
only on stage.  And funny.
:4. "Dan's 1st Skit" by Dan Fairchild
I don't think Chris really does owe Dan $10, since the piece was really about doing a first piece at
No-Shame.  But where most of 
those pieces are dismal, this one somehow pulled through.  Perhaps it was the sage wisdom of the
experienced Arlen, or perhaps it 
was the hackneyed, yet always hilarious use of penis jokes.  Anyhow, it was well crafted, and I
laughed.
:5. "Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew Street" by Handsome Mark Hansen
This begins to enter into why I think Mark Hansen will one day be known by people not just in
No-Shame, but everywhere, as the 
funniest man alive.  The humor of speech's fragile relationship to text and text's even more fragile
relationship to action is ripe, 
underexplored territorry for writers of comedy pieces.  That is to say that what mark has done
here is to create a monologue with a 
stream of humor running within the text, a stream of humor running between the text and his own
actions, and a third stream of humor 
which runs within the act of the text's creation.  Most comedy bits have only the first stream, but
this one found three dimensionality 
like those guys who Plato tied to the wall of a cave, or something.  If that made any sense at all,
I'm going to go shoot myself.
:6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
:What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
:Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
Funny, good, whacky, but none of these things on the level that the two authors working
independantly usually create.
:7. "Dragonflies" by Nozebone the band
 I couldn't play so good once I got all nervous playing to an audience I had just told to shut up. 
Also the tambourine kinda drowned out 
the lyrics, I am told.  But you can find the lyrics on my website:   http://angelfire/ia/lucre
:8. "Frank the Dentist" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
I cannot remember this one very clearly.  I think I was still recovering form the trauma of having
told the audience to shut up.
:9. "Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse --&-- You" by Paul Rust
I liked it a lot.  It went after an obvious target: homophobic christians, but Paul brought a fresh
complexity and energy to the piece.  I 
didn't like it as much as last week's, but still it was great.
:10. "I Hate That Damn Raccoon" by Brandon Peterson
This was a unique, un-No-Shame-like, almost un-theatre like monologue.  It was interesting, and
declaimed with a solid energy that 
didn't let me become tired of it.  I liked its feeling of simplicity.
:11. "The Tanaki Presentation" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
This was a great melding of slapstick hilarity and familial frustration, competently acted by Balls. 
This might be my favorite Balls 
piece ever. There are a few times when complicated costumes seem other than excessive at NS. 
Successes usually involve a good actor 
acting well, and more often than not the costume portrays a businessman.  I don't know what the
businessman part means, but good 
acting is necessary to justify the expenditure of time and energy (maybe even money) on
costuming, which might be why the bartender 
outfit in last week's beer skit seemed a bit excessive.
:12. "Two Monologues" by Brad Smith
Another very good actor doing a very good job of acting.  Brad seems almost more comfortable
talking to an audience from a stage than 
he does talking to friends in the lounge, say.  These monologues hit home for a number of
reasons: 1. They were sad / slightly 
disturbing. 2. They were acted with conviction which let the audience imagine that they indicated
real events taking place outside 
of the theatre in the real world. 3. They were written in that weird Brad Smith monologue style
which is kind of a cross between 
Virginia Woolf and most of the translations of Anton Chekhov that I have read.  That probably
means very little to anyone but me.  
It is past my bedtime again.
:13. "Life Factors" by Willie Barbour
I remember the pla-doh image, which was great and sooo quintessentially Willie, but the rest of
the mono escapes me. Sorry.
:14. "S'ghetti Meets Balls" by Aaron (Galbraith) and Neil (Balls 
:Campbell)
I know you loved this piece.  You know I loved this piece.  Does anyone need to ask why?
:15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl
This is the Stangl mono that has me seriously thinking that Chris needs a new schtick.  How many
times has he embedded a 
disgusting account of the mutilation of a dead famous person within a character monologue? 
More than I care to count.  What was the 
payoff of this particular jaunt back down that all too familiar roadway?  "Do you believe in God
or chance?"  Wow the lights went 
off so we can't even see what he rolled on the dice.  I bet God did that.  How deep.  I think that
ths particular instance of recycled 
format could have been justified if I had stayed more convinced of Stangl's character throughout
the monologue and not just at the 
beginning and end.  Somewhere in there we lose track of why we bothered listening to the
Cromwell story, and I got the feeling that 
the character lost track of why he was telling it.  So was it poor writing or poor acting that failed
this piece?  Both, mostly in the 
shadow of the fact that Stangl is almost consistently an above-par actor and writer.

Time: Wed, 18-Oct-2000 04:47:26 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.249


:Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
:
:Balls seems to have a hard time maintaining energy during the  
:announcements, which strikes me as strange since this never has 
:been 
:his affliction when 'acting'.

You know, earlier this semester when I began to do the 
announcements, I thought, "Great, because the top of the show is 
very important because it can build the audience's energy level 
for the rest of show. You can perhaps get an otherwise apathetic 
audience'jazzed up' and excited to be at No Shame, and when the 
audience is into the show it affects the performers as well.  And 
I've seen too many boring announcements, or someone just standing 
around onstage while the order is read really fast instead of 
trying to get the audience into it. Admittedly, reading the order 
really fast serves no practical purpose and is kind of dumb, but 
it's like this ritual everybody expects and, if done properly, 
can be used to truly get the audience excited. I believe so 
anyway."

Really.  I thought all that.  So anyway, I made it a personal 
mission of mine to be really engage the crowd during the 
announcements and the order speed-through. If I'm not maintaining 
energy, then I'm failing in my mission and I'll improve upon 
that, but just so you know, I really do want to 
excite/energize/titillate the crowd at the top of the show. I do 
not have some sort of apathetic postmodern view toward the 
announcements and the top of the show in general. I think it 
serves a definite purpose, in terms of bringing both the audience 
and the performers into the world of No Shame for a few hours.

Also, you must have forgotten all about that "dictator" joke, 
which was incredibly funny.

Ballstator

Time: Wed, 18-Oct-2000 17:56:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.169

:No Shame Theatre, 10-13-2000
:
:Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
:1. "The Singing Doctor" by Ryan Greenlaw
I can't judge this by the standard of Ryan's last piece (I missed 
it) but I can say that I thought this was really funny and a great 
show-opener. It was hard for me to decide what to do when I wasn't 
talking, so I just watched Ryan and laughed instead.
:2. "What Kind of Job Is It?" by Greg Mitchell
I agree with Nick that this came at the wrong time, and in fact on 
the wrong night. Both are funny for the same reasons, which is why 
they shouldn't be next to each other. Anyway, I hope Greg Mitchell 
continues to write more and maybe even become a semi-regular again.
:3. "Kissing Booth" by Chris Stangl
I love comedy sketches that are both funny and at the same time 
short. This was those things. 
:4. "Dan's 1st Skit" by Dan Fairchild
My favorite part of this was when Dan told Chris he owed him $10, 
that was cool. 
:5. "Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew Street" by 
:Mark J. Hansen
Todd Bass is a guy I went to high school with. Severely unprepared 
for this one, too much checking my script when the stage directions 
didn't call for it, and laughing at my own jokes. Still worked 
okay, though. 
:6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
:What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
:Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
I could tell which part was written by Al. (Note the use of the 
gun.) Not the best by the individuals, but fascinating to see what 
happens when they work together. 
:7. "Dragonflies" by Nozebone the band
I think the tambourine fucked this one up. It's true in performance 
it didn't have the intensity of when I first heard it, but the 
tambourine was too much noise. I really really liked the last 
minute addition of Willie, though.
:8. "Frank the Dentist" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
Not Arlen's best. Vote it into Best of! That line i said was meant 
for Jamal, but I kicked its ass!!! 
:9. "Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse --&-- You" by Paul Rust
For some reason, I recall this as being one of several pieces of 
the night that revolved around homosexual jokes. This being the 
most tasteful one. Ultra-Right Christians are definitely not an 
unfamiliar target, but Paul's assured delivery saved it from being 
too cliche. Do more!!
:10. "I Hate That Damn Raccoon" by Brandon Peterson
I had a little trouble following the story, the delivery was a 
little strange, not as "performy" as I'm used to. He was a cutie, 
thoug, wasn't he?
:11. "The Tanaki Presentation" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
Yeah. Crazy/funny life of a businessman turns suddenly tragic, in 
that split second almost impreceptible way that kinda reminds me of 
Okiishi, only more manic.
:12. "Two Monologues" by Brad Smith
Yay! I read these beforehand, and was struck by the language, and 
how the descriptions were at once spare and vivid. Then, Brad's 
delivery enhanced them. He has a real presence, it's not 
performance so much as an intimate conversation with a large crowd 
of people.
:13. "Life Factors" by Willie Barbour
More of the familiar territory for Willie. The visuals were a 
little more vivid (my new word) this time, and I always enjoy 
Willie onstage, yelling and stuff.
:14. "S'ghetti Meets Balls" by Aaron (Galbraith) and Neil (Balls 
:Campbell)
All it was missing were those creepy sound effects from Mausoleum 
Plaza.
:15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl
I found the story of Cromwell's head interesting, but I lost the 
character halfway through, and couldn't exactly figure what it had 
to do with this guy in a diner talking to the chief of police. 

If none of this helps, you don't have to read it. 

Time: Thu, 19-Oct-2000 07:02:23 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.134

:6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
:What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
:Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman

:I could tell which part was written by Al. (Note the use of the 
:gun.)

You are so wrong, Mark.  I laugh all over you.

The use of the trusty ol' gun was entirely Alyssa's idea (as was 
most of the fighting).  I mostly contributed mushy stuff.  The 
violence was mosty Alyssa's.

I hope I have ruined your day by deconstructing your bourgeios 
preconceptions and thus destroying your worldview.

Love,
Al

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 00:12:46 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.204


I hope I have ruined your day by deconstructing your bourgeios 
:
preconceptions and thus destroying your worldview.
:

:
Love,
:
Al
 My preconceptions are not bourgeios, thank you so very much!!! Otherwise, yeah. Ouch.

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 14:34:08 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.170

Re: The order speed through, and the no practical purpose it 
serves.
Wanna know a fascinating No Shame quasi-historical fact? I'll 
tell you anyway. The whole way the order speed-through thing got 
started (and it really doesn't contribute anything to the show) 
is this: My junior year, when I first started doing the order at 
the top of the show, I broke up with this girl who did the 
announcements at the top of the show, right before the second NS 
of the season. Suddenly, it got really, _really_ uncomfortable 
standing up there with her and feeling her icy gaze pricking at 
my scalp while I read the order the second, interminably long 
time. So I started to do the speed-through thing in order to make 
this uncomfortable moment pass more quickly, and also because the 
strain it placed on my breathing constantly offered me the sweet 
release of death. Neat, huh?

So Balls and Chris, unless you two guys break up anytime soon, 
don't feel like your subverting a years-old tradition by coming 
up with another way to deal with the order. Because you won't be. 
Also, now that I'm a No Shame alum, I can constantly pester the 
website with my stupid, possibly apocryphal anecdotes. Isn't that 
cool?

Actually, I'm just trying to get you fuckers to send me e-mail. 
Send me e-mail, you fuckers.

Love,
I mean, Your Friend,
There we go; she'll never suspect anything now,
Dan

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 19:41:47 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.34

    See, in the first playwriting class e'er I took, they said 
to accept criticism with folded arms and serious look on your 
face and not respond, but it seems Mr. N. Clark of Iowa City has 
some questions and/or misreadings of my piece:
:15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl

which may/ may not benefit from my breaking the above rule.

:How many times has he embedded a disgusting account of the 
:mutilation of a dead famous person within a character 
:monologue?

   Three times (1. Sylvia Plath, 2. John Kennedy, 3. Lord 
Cromwell), assuming this monologue was "disgusting," which I 
don't think it was, which is not grammatically right. Correct. I 
have brutalized/ slandered celebrities as the core of a piece 
thrice more (1. Mrs. E. Roosevelt 2. cast of "Wizard of Oz", 2. 
Walter E. Disney), though not mutilated their dead bodies.
   The critical difference between these and "Monster's" is that 
the Cromwell story is 1) not played for laughs, 2) not focused 
on mutilation aspects of the story, but the unlikely 300 year 
chain of random events and how they seemingly circle back on 
themselves, 3)(more-or-less) true: none of the other Celebrity 
Mutilations are remotely accurate, save that JFK was indeed in 
need of hat resizing after his Dallas visit.

:What was the payoff...?  "Do you believe in God or chance?"  
:Wow the lights went off so we can't even see what he rolled on 
:the dice.  I bet God did that.  How deep.

   Any "payoff" or "moral" or "point" will look shallow if you 
recap it in a flip, reductionist manner.  "What's the payoff of 
'Rashomon'? 'There is no objective truth'? How fuckin' deep, 
man."  "What's the point of the Bible? Be nice to people? 
Whooptie-fuggin'-do."  Didn't work for you? Fine, that is my 
fault, but a sarcastic "how deep" neither "holds water" nor 
"breaks wind" for me.
  This wasn't intended as the philosophic "payoff," which seems 
your complaint. The audience is invited throughout to decide if 
random events have design, and the nature thereof.  It IS the 
narrative "payoff," because I think audiences are engaged by 
stories and characters, not philosophies. THAT payoff is that my 
character's been pirouetting around death for five minutes and 
when he stops talking, he stops being alive.  It's a filibuster 
against mortality ABOUT how you can't filibuster against 
mortality, and me? I liked that.  The last line is "supposed" to 
lend some verbal symmetry and leave you with a Feeling, not 
illustrate anything concrete. I was hoping for something like 
the final speech in "Raising Arizona," which pretends to, but 
doesn't REALLY offer aphorisms on parenting, it just... just 
FEELS right.
  The lights went off (I bet Chris Okiishi did that) because 1) 
pieces typically end with the lights going off, 2) my character 
was presumably shot dead at the end.  If 2) was not properly 
conveyed, that is my fault.
  The payoff of "Psycho"? "Let them see what kind of a person I 
am?" Well he's a fuckin' crazy murderer kind of person! Tres 
deep!

:Somewhere in there we lose track of why we bothered listening 
:to the Cromwell story, and I got the feeling that the character 
:lost track of why he was telling it.

   Sadly, I agree. The incessent, distracting dice-rolling was a 
stopgap measure intended to remind you to pay attention to 
Accident/Entropy throughout, not worry about the gross severed 
head. I hoped the head to be a bloodless MacGuffin. It ended up 
like that fucking briefcase in "Pulp Fiction": gimmicky 
MacGuffin caused more trouble than it's worth, because the 
awkward metaphor gots more attention than what it STOOD for and 
how it FUNCTIONED.
    But here's the big secret. The "doozy":
    I wrote the raw material of "The Monster's Head" in ninth 
grade.  I've been sitting on this dubious mono for six, seven 
years. It's awkward, it's boring, it's badly paced. It is. I can 
make no serious excuses for it. I HAD to perform the piece of 
shit, and now I never have to worry about this particular piece 
of shit again.

       -Rev. C. Stangl, Zembla University Theatre Studies

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 20:38:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.210


::What was the payoff...?  "Do you believe in God or chance?"  
::Wow the lights went off so we can't even see what he rolled on 
::the dice.  I bet God did that.  How deep.


I have to apologize for this statement.  I knew it was rude and not 
valid criticism when first I typed it.  Chris' criticism of my 
criticism, however, is, I think valid, because I invited it.  
Specifically with the above statement.  Y'see, though I knew it to 
be rude and not critical, I left it in because I was really damn 
curious what the hell Chris had intended with that ending, and I am 
glad that Mr. Stangl has sated my curiosity.

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 20:57:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.210


:Also, you must have forgotten all about that "dictator" joke, 
:which was incredibly funny.
:
:Ballstator


You're right.  I had forgotten about the dictator joke.  And it was 
incredibly funny.  And I apologize for making such a big issue out 
of the announcements, becuase I didn't mean to make it seem like 
you were just awful to watch doing the announcements, quite the 
contrary.  I just had the feeling last weeks announcements could 
have been taken up a notch.  Though I'm not really one to criticize 
such things, since I'm sure my own best efforts to make the 
announcements seem interesting wouldn't really garner much audience 
excitement at all.

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 02:31:50 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:Re: The order speed through, and the no practical purpose it 
:serves.
:Wanna know a fascinating No Shame quasi-historical fact? I'll 
:tell you anyway. The whole way the order speed-through thing got 
:started (and it really doesn't contribute anything to the show) 
:is this: My junior year [...]

Actually, to add an even more fogeyish quality to long-gone 
reminescences, if this is the origin of your speed-reading then 
it's an interesting example of convergent evolution 'cause at the 
Best of the Best of No Shame all 12-or-so former MCs on stage knew 
unbidden to do a "once more, really fast" reading...  See?  Even 
when we try to be original it ain't original.  :)  

Another thing to point out that the MCs of Years Gone By agreed 
upon--the rules of No Shame are but three:  1) the work must be 
original, 2) it must be five minutes or less, and 3) it can't 
damage the space or its occupants.  The parts about "typewritten, 
submitted in the lounge at 10:30 before the show, etc., etc." that 
have lately been called rules on occasion are generally just 
considered helpful info..

[insert old man raspy gutteral shout here]

Heh.

-Adam

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 05:21:01 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.38

 
:My junior year, when I first started doing the order at 
:the top of the show, I broke up with this girl who did the 
:announcements at the top of the show, right before the second NS 
:of the season. Suddenly, it got really, _really_ uncomfortable 
:standing up there with her and feeling her icy gaze pricking at 
:my scalp while I read the order the second, interminably long 
:time. So I started to do the speed-through thing in order 
:make this uncomfortable moment pass more quickly...

I was there. It was my first No Shame. Picture it, Sicily, 
1927...no, wait. That's a Golden Girls reference. Anyway, I can 
attest to that and the many other uncomfortable moments based on 
said breakup, culminating in Oliver Nowak, playwriting class, a 
psuedo-real threat of violence and the greatest word not in the 
English language: ETAU-MAO!! 

Rehearsal tomorrow, must sleep.

Send me mail!

ersnt stavro rothschild

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 08:11:37 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.63

What a show, eh? Some looong boring pieces that I didn't like, 
some other pieces that I didn't like, and a few really good 
standouts. Also, that guy who threw up! Fuck!  What a gross 
thing to do! And he didn't even wimp out and puke in a jar, Jar 
Jar! :) (i'm just kidding i love you lol)

I want to be asleep.

So good night!

Bls.

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 18:24:52 GMT     IP: 128.255.53.240

Dear No Shame Board and audience,

My little brother was the one who threw up at No Shame Theatre 
last night.  I would like to sincerely apologize for our actions.  
We were irresponsible and inconsiderate.  I am especially 
remorseful because I have been to No Shame Theatre several times 
before and I have enjoyed it immensely.  I am in awe of many of 
you for the sheer quality of your writing, your 
seemingly boundless creativity, and your incredible acting 
ability.  I am sorry that we had to ruin a good clean night of fun 
with our actions.  I sincerely apologize and I promise that it 
will never happen again.  I know that it was a horrible thing to 
do, but I hope that everyone can forgive us.

Sincerely,
Shawn Sebastian

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 22:07:17 GMT     IP: 63.15.134.224

Well, thank you, Shawn Sebastien, for your apology, and for all 
those nice things you said. Are you the one who helped clean it 
up?  If so, thank you for that as well. If not, thanks to that 
guy.

:I am sorry that we had to ruin a good clean night of fun with  
our actions.

It wasn't a great way to begin the night, admittedly, but I think 
once it got cleaned up and we got started it didn't affect the 
show too much. Of course, I wasn't sitting in that section, so I 
don't know if it was smelly or anything, but I didn't hear any 
complaints. Also, that's the first time I've ever heard anybody 
describe No Shame as "clean."  Or "good."  Ha ha!  No I'm just 
kidding.

So, there you go. All is forgiven (in my mind, anyway).  I just 
hope people have learned their lessons, etc., etc., as I'm sure 
they have.  Cool?  Cool.

Comma,

Balls

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 23:16:33 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.209

No Shame Theatre, 10-20-2000

Guy throws up Mexican food.

Announcements/ Order: Neil "Balls" Campbell, Chris Stangl

1. "Take Two Strychnines and Don't Call me In The Morning" by 
Chris Stangl
[Performed by C.  Stangl, J. J. Lawson]
Fatal disease nursed with liquor. Comedy sketch.

2. "Cookie" by Don Deeley
[D. Deeley]
Giant cookie blocks out sun.  Prop comedy routine.

3. "The Flapper and the Clown Pt I: The Clown in Montana; A 
Serial Monologue" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
[A.J.E.E.Lawson]
Bloody-armed clown frightens man into building doghouse.  Comedy 
monologue.

4. "Umbrella" by Nozebone the Band
[N. Clark, M. Hansen]
     Meditation on symbolic properties of borrowed umbrella.  
Song.

5. "How Do You Fuck The World?" by Alex Kipp
[A. Kipp]
Alex has difficulty writing suicide note, because everything is 
horrible.  Dramatic monologue.

5.5 "The Quarry Men From Kankatee" by JP
["JP"]
     Tale of football hero "with the wounded knee."  Comedy 
song.

6. "Brotherly Love" by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron
[T. Kovacs, S. Negron]
Nerd brother, "jackass" brother relate experiences of a wild 
party.  Comedy sketch.

7. "The Legend of Zelda (was taken from my house by Mose's 
little brother, Louie Hayward)" Alyssa Bowman wrote it.
[A. Lawson, N. Campbell, C. Stangl]
     Can X (with dead, puppet mother) pee on E, or will K do 
the butt dance some more? Comedy sketch.

8. "Glenngarry Glenn Close" by Mark Hansen
[M. Hansen, R. Greenlaw]
Boy and father argue over parentage, ice cream.  Comedy sketch.

9. "Fly" by Brad Smith
[A. Lawson, ?]
Woman taunts flies, man desires woman.  Seriocomic scene.

10. "I Am Announcer Man" by Benjamin Heinen and Steven Slye
[I do not know who performed this, presumably Heinen and Slye 
were involved]
Hick Man, Audience Man, Straight Man and Theatre Man battle it 
out.  Comedy sketch.

11. "Love in the world as it appears to me in a hospital and in 
Lou Henri's on a Friday morning after I had a dream about being 
beaten up by a swat team.  A present for Joanna and Troy."  By 
Al Angel.
[A. Angel]
Man may, may not be in love, sets woman on fire, at her 
request.  Seriocomic monologue.

12. "Mr. Rogers Is A Wore" by Dan Fairchild
[D. Fairchild]
Dan stripteases to boxers, rails about Fred Rogers' "hairy ape 
tits." Comedy monologue.

13. "Underwater" by King Toad [J. River], performed by Flywater
[J. River, A. Angel, M. Hansen]
Secretly, man is fucked up in brain, and if you tell him 
otherwise, he wants to kill you_ even more!   Song.

14. "Jungle Madness" by Neil Balls Campbell
[N.B.Campbell]
Caricaturist deported to jungle, where he marries ape.  Comedy 
monologue.

15. "Jelly Stories" by Chris Stangl
[C. Stangl]
Five men tell mysterious, horror tales about jellies destroying 
their lives.  Comedy monologue.

Go home, because nowhere on your ticket does it say you can 
sleep in the theatre.

Time: Sun, 22-Oct-2000 19:05:46 GMT     IP: 63.42.174.199

:9. "Fly" by Brad Smith
:
:[A. Lawson, ?]
:
:Woman taunts flies, man desires woman.  Seriocomic scene.


The performers would be Arlen Lawson and Courtney Clonch.

The ever helpful,

Balls

Time: Mon, 23-Oct-2000 00:16:39 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.119


:13. "Underwater" by King Toad [J. River], performed by Flywater

Fly Paper, though. Is the band, though. Thank you that is all I 
have.

The occasionally helpful
Jamal "Friendly Large Black Butthole" River 

Time: Mon, 23-Oct-2000 15:52:04 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.170

Says Mike:
I can attest to that and the many other uncomfortable moments 
based on 
:
said breakup, culminating in Oliver Nowak, playwriting class, a 
:
psuedo-real threat of violence and the greatest word not in the 
:
English language: ETAU-MAO!! 

God bless Oliver Nowak, says I.

Time: Tue, 24-Oct-2000 10:51:34 GMT     IP: 172.128.191.157

Incidentally, before the Best of the Best of No Shame show,  the 12 (sic) of us former MCs were
instructed that this was how we do things these days and it would be funny if you all read the
order really fast the second time.

So, in fact, it we were bidden.

So maybe you're more original than you thought.

...Jeff


at the 
:
Best of the Best of No Shame all 12-or-so former MCs on stage knew 
:
unbidden to do a "once more, really fast" reading...  See?  Even 
:
when we try to be original it ain't original.  :)  
:

:
Another thing to point out that the MCs of Years Gone By agreed 
:
upon--the rules of No Shame are but three:  1) the work must be 
:
original, 2) it must be five minutes or less, and 3) it can't 
:
damage the space or its occupants.

Time: Tue, 24-Oct-2000 11:14:38 GMT     IP: 172.128.191.157

Another thing to point out that the MCs of Years Gone By agreed 
:
upon--the rules of No Shame are but three:  1) the work must be 
:
original, 2) it must be five minutes or less, and 3) it can't 
:
damage the space or its occupants.  


Another interesting bit of quasi-history.  Actually, originally there was no time limit, and the early
No Shame pieces were very short.  I believe my first seven monologues were all around 1 minute. 
And all of my scenes were 2 pages are less.

But as pieces got longer and longer (without actually sustaining themselves), at the end of the first
semester the first time limit was established... 3 MINUTES.

Over the years, that time has stretched to 5 minutes.  My theory about this progression is that in
the early days we had no examples to go by, so we just did the best pieces we could think of and
when you ran out of quality material, your stopped.  There's really no reason to continue after the
joke has run its course.  But as new people came and saw what we were doing.  And based their
idea of "what is a good No Shame piece" on something like Tony Trout's excellent
_comically-sustained_ two minute pieces.  So if they had a great 30 second piece, they didn't
consider it to be a real No Shame piece unless they stretched it out to 2 minutes to be like Tony.

It's kind of like, for a few years, all the students in the Playwrights Workshop were writing only
full-length plays even though many of them only had about 1-act of material.  But they didn't
consider a one-act to be a "real" play.

Ironically a really good 30 second skit is much more of a "real" play than a crappy two-hour
one-joke yawn fest.  I always feel kind of lucky to have been able to work at No Shame in the
days when we simply didn't know what we were "supposed" to do.  So we just tried to write good
scripts.

Maybe next time a rookie brings in a 10-minute monologue because they want to emulate Dan
Brooks, someone should try to convince them to copy the quality, not the quantity.


...Jeff

Time: Tue, 24-Oct-2000 13:59:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:Another interesting bit of quasi-history.  Actually, originally
:there was no time limit, and the early No Shame pieces were very
:short.

No fair, Jeff!  You're trumping my Old Fogey card!  Sure, YOU know 
I'm just a No Shame whippersnapper/upstart, but you don't have to 
tell everyone....  ;)

-Adam

Time: Fri, 27-Oct-2000 09:02:29 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.183

well gee.

I guess I'm just looking for some feedback on my performances 
what with only doing this for two weeks.  I probably should be 
asking this earlier in the week while it is fresher in your mind 
but I just now stumbled upon the webpage here.  Ya see?

To refresh your memory I got naked for no damn good reason and 
bad mouthed Mr. Rogers.

Now don't tickle my asshole on this one, okay?  I wanna know 
what you really think.

Time: Fri, 27-Oct-2000 19:54:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Dan-  I've only done no shame 4 times, but I think you had a 
really strong debut.  It was well delivered, and you kept your 
audience going the whole time.  It takes some guts to strip for 
no reason, especially when nobody expects to see your "hairy ape 
tits."

Everyone else-
I too am looking for some feedback for my last sketch (the one 
where two brothers fight over one girl at a wild party.)  My 
blind friend Sam stumbled around and slugged who knows how many 
drinks, while I stood there like the geek Sam is in real life!  
Sound familiar, anybody?

As far as my first three sketches, I should clear up a couple of 
things;

"Melancholy Monday Morning," the piece that rips off E. A. Poe, 
is much better read than performed.  I acknowledge that now, and 
admit that I would have been wise to bring my script up with me 
instead of trying to memorize it.

"The Miserable Tale of Duct Tape Man" was not as trying as some 
of you suggested.  I didn't subject myself to sitting through an 
entire show wrapped up like a big silver duct tape mummy.  That 
would have really sucked.  Instead, I went back stage two acts 
early and wrapped myself up then.

The anonamous chick who argued with me in "A SHort Draft About 
BEER" is named Carol Wallace.  And, I am honored that someone 
compared this gag to the great Monty Python's "SPAM" sketch!

That's all-
Tom Kovacs

Time: Sat, 28-Oct-2000 21:56:42 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.100

Well, boys, what generally goes on around here is that the NS folk 
tend to post show reviews (usually all-encompassing), and 
performers/writers get feedback through these.  What was once so 
wonderful about this site was that millions of people wrote just 
as many reviews and everybody contributed/recieved this desired 
"feed-back."  Unfortunately, the boardroom has become a 
desolate wasteland devoid of show-talk.  But it doesn;t have to be 
that way.  The best way to prompt a return to this fabled 
information sharing?  Write a review, inspire others to do the 
same.  Simply asking for something and then sitiing back has never 
seemed to accomplish much.  Observe: I am not going to be 
reviewing either of the past two shows, despite the fact that I 
would like very much to know how people reacted to what I did (I 
have found the reviewing process to be extremely tiring and 
draining, physically and emotionally, and haven't the energy to 
spare these days), and viola, the vicious circle continues (this, 
by the hay, was just an example, and not a plea for reviews.  
...you lazy fuckers!!!).

I killed your mom,
--Al

Time: Sat, 28-Oct-2000 22:07:16 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.69

No Shame Theatre: 10-27-2000

Announcements/ Order: Neil "Balls" Campbell, Aprille Clarke

1. "Kyle Long in `Newbie's First Sketch'" by Kyle Long
(performed by K. Long. Comic monologue.  Though NST causes ass-
itch, newcomer performs to win bet.)

2. "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour" by Paul Rust
(P. Rust. Comic monologue. Kiddie show host jokes with sock 
puppet about pedophilia.)

3. "How to Rool a Joint.  With Mic Chicken fucker brought to you 
by Pecker Power Mic Chicken fucker the cock you can trust. 
[sic]" by Joe Brokken
(J. Brokken.  Comic monologue.  Giant chicken expounds on Gungan 
blowjobs, voodoo-exploded penises, while preparing oversized 
marijuana cigarette.)

4. "The Death of Jar Jar Lawson" by Al "Red Fuck" Angel
(J. River, N. Campbell.  Comedy sketch.  Romance between Joe and 
a Wilukazeetibeest disrupted by Ashley Fartsmeller.)

4.5 "The Flapper -&- the Clown Pt. II: A Dream Island; a serial 
monologue" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson.
(A.J.EX2 Lawson. Comic/horrific monologue.  After toiling on 
mysterious doghouse, dead flapper emerges from same, dances 
"zombie Charleston.")

5. "Windshield" by Nozebone the Band.
(N. Clark, M. Hansen.  Song.  Voyeuristic male gaze through 
windshield deflected by power of love.)

6. "Show Me Your Big, Fat, Floppy Tits" by Aprille Clarke
(A. Clarke, B. Smith. Comedy sketch. Sub-Saharan African child 
sabotages Christian Children's Fund advert via na‹ve 
cannibalism.)

7. "Flippin' The Grandma Switch" by Jamal River
(J. River, A. Lawson. Comedy sketch/ monologue. Boy reminisces 
about burying grandmother alive, fantasizes about collegiate 
scrotum-eating monkey.)

7.5 "A Birthday Present" by Chris Stangl
(A. Lawson, C. Stangl. Comedy sketch. Awful gift fails to cure 
human misery.)

8. "Tracking Down Virgel the Giant Castrated Grizzly Bear, Who 
Escaped from the Boulder Valley Circus [sic]" by Thomas Kovacs
(T. Kovacs, S. Negron, plus two.  Comedy sketch. Stalking of 
legendary bear, who sounds "like Whitney Houston.)

9. "Sweet William" by Ben Schmidt
(B. Schmidt. Song.  Schimdt-style reworking of classic folk 
song.)

10. "Someday I Will Steal Chris Stangl's Seat" by Dan Fairchild
(C. Fairchild. Comic monologue.  Why Stangl is variously a 
"fucking dictator," "paying women to fuck him," and "God.")

11. "Intermission" by Noah Schaffer
(N. Schaffer.  Guided imagery monologue.  Sensory tour via food 
imagery in the dark.)

12. "Alex (with 3 x's) -&- a Horse's Cock." By Benjamin Hymen, 
Steven Slye, and Alexxx.
(B. Hymen, S. Slye, plus two. Comedy sketch. Mangina Man, Penis 
Man, Scientist Man and Woman Man argue over "gross"ness of 
manginas.)

13. "The Tale of the Disappearing Farmer" by Neil "Balls 
Campbell"
(N. Campbell.  Investigative monologue. Some seven characters 
give oral impressions of creepy, unexplained title occurrence.)

14. "Fingernail Polish" by Willie Barbour
(W. Barbour. Comic monologue. Repeated testosterone surges/ 
requests to see woman's breasts leads to messy assault with 
lavender polish.)

15. "Needlepoint" by Chris Stangl
(C. Stangl, N. Campbell, A. Clarke.  Comic monologues.  Folk 
ghost story, PTA speech on Halloween safety, boy's school report 
gradually intertwine in Halloween mayhem.)

Later, at Village Inn.  C. Stangl extracts Grandpa Munster doll 
from claw machine with help of M. Nepstad.

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 00:11:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.115

  Just hoping for some feedback on my piece last Friday. It was 
the one in the dark with the various sensory information and 
such. I'll take whatever feedback I can get, thanks in advance.
  Also, if you liked it and you'd like to see a little more of 
what I've done recently, I set up a crappy little webpage for 
that purpose. The redirect address is (listen.to/silentwords). 
Hope you enjoy it. Once again, please give me feedback.

        -Noah Schaffer

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 01:09:14 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Hey Everyone-

By Al's suggetsion,I'm making my own efforts to review this weeks 
show, and hoping someone else out there will do the same.  I'm 
sure everyone who performed last night would like to know what 
you think.

First off, I'd have to say that skit for skit this is the best 
(of the seven) nights of No Shame I've seen.

1. "Kyle Long in `Newbie's First Sketch'" by Kyle Long, not Kyle 
Lang!  I thought the straight-forward approach of discussing your 
own thoughts and ripping on your friend in the audience was 
refreshing.  Hope you got something out of that bet besides the 
joy of watching everyone laugh at James.

2. "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour" by Paul Rust
A sick twist to the standard children's TV show host, with a 
startling resemblance to Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat on South Park.  
Interesting interplay between Uncle Petey (you) and Mayor 
Stitches (the other You).

3. "How to Rool a Joint.  With Mic Chicken fucker brought to you 
by Pecker Power Mic Chicken fucker the cock you can trust. 
[sic]" by Joe Brokken
This shit's twisted enough to be called a classic.  If your mind 
is as consistently random and perverse as this skit was, you've 
got a lot of potential in the world of No Shame.  I look forward 
to whatever you'll dream up next.

4. "The Death of Jar Jar Lawson" by Al "Red Fuck" Angel
Funny and witty, with some great one liners, although it could 
have been better shorter.  Very abstract, but the audience's 
laughter overpowered their confusion.  Overall, this was a good 
sketch.

4.5 "The Flapper --&-- the Clown Pt. II: A Dream Island; a serial 
monologue" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson.
In a venue riding on one-time gags, a serial monologue is a brave 
thing to do.  had I not been here last week, I would have been 
dazed and confused from "I built a fucking doghouse" on.  Still, 
you've got some cool images.  Your non-serial monologues that 
have appeared on previous weeks have always been among my 
favorite segments of the show, but this serial is quite 
confusing.  I believe you could wrap it up nicely if the final 
part of the trilogy is a masterpiece to be remembered.

5. "Windshield" by Nozebone the Band.
A good running gag can only last so long before it becomes 
redundant.  This song was a step up from last week's umbrella 
bit, but I personally think the whole nosebone thing is wearing a 
little bit thin.  Next week, change something about your 
presentation and catch the audience off guard.  It'll be greatly 
appreciated.

6. "Show Me Your Big, Fat, Floppy Tits" by Aprille Clarke
(A. Clarke, B. Smith. Comedy sketch.)
Reflective and analytical, with well delivered jokes and an 
eventual punch line.  I dig it, particularly that bit about Sally 
Struthers, which nobody in the theatre ever expected.

7. "Flippin' The Grandma Switch" by Jamal River
(J. River, A. Lawson. Comedy sketch/ monologue.)
Sadistic, but funny.  Verry funny.  I laughed a lot because I 
have a sick sense of humor, and somehow morbid stuff told from a 
moron's perspective is delightfully entertaining.

7.5 "A Birthday Present" by Chris Stangl
(A. Lawson, C. Stangl. Comedy sketch.)
This is how to deliver one short visual gag.  If this joke had 
any substantial dialogue, analysis, or developing plot, it would 
have dragged on until it sucked.

8. "Tracking Down Virgel the Giant Castrated Grizzly Bear, Who 
Escaped from the Boulder Valley Circus [sic]" by Thomas Kovacs
(T. Kovacs, S. Negron, N Schaffer, Lexi Hanson.  Comedy sketch.)
I don't think I have enough experience in the world of theatre to 
accurately criticize my own work without sounding arrogant.  I 
can say that this skit, unlike my previous performances, relied 
more on action than it did on spoken diologe.  Would somebody 
care to tell me something about my delivery?

9. "Sweet William" by Ben Schmidt
(B. Schmidt. Song.  Schimdt-style reworking of classic folk 
song.)
Dude, you rock.  It's nice to have some good music to break up 
the comedy.

10. "Someday I Will Steal Chris Stangl's Seat" by Dan Fairchild
(C. Fairchild. Comic monologue.  Why Stangl is variously a 
"fucking dictator," "paying women to fuck him," and "God.")
Twice in one night, the No Shame experience was described on 
stage.  Twice in one night, someone in the audience was singled 
out and mocked.  Right on.  Dan's got an unusual style that's 
quite appreciated.

11. "Intermission" by Noah Schaffer
(N. Schaffer.  Guided imagery monologue.  Sensory tour via food 
imagery in the dark.)
Yes, this is the same guy that helped me blast Lexi with 
supersoakers only three skits earlier.  Different, huh?  Very 
descriptive, and effective because Noah has a soothing voice.

12. "Alex (with 3 x's) --&-- a Horse's Cock." By Benjamin Hymen, 
Steven Slye, and Alexxx.
All right, I'm a nice guy, but I just have to be really mean 
about this pointless bit of shock therapy.  If you haven't seen 
these guys before, you should realize that their sketches all 
rely on shocking the audience and leaving them speechless.  Shock 
value's fine, but there's one fundamental thing missing- 
purpose.  If you're planning on getting naked on stage, you need 
a reason or story behind the full frontal neudity.  Don't just 
stand there for the sake of showing your cock and balls to a 
large audience.  Maybe next week, they'll go back to just beating 
the shit out of each other on the premise that cartoon style 
violence is funny.  Now, I should probably shut up because these 
guys rely on shock value, and are porbably encouraged by bad 
reviews.

13. "The Tale of the Disappearing Farmer" by Neil "Balls"
Campbell"
(N. Campbell.  Investigative monologue. Some seven characters 
give oral impressions of creepy, unexplained title occurrence.)
I can't quite place it, but I know I've heard a brief summary of 
this story somewhere before.  Nonetheless, it's an interesting 
story.

14. "Fingernail Polish" by Willie Barbour
(W. Barbour. Comic monologue. Repeated testosterone surges/ 
requests to see woman's breasts leads to messy assault with 
lavender polish.)
This, like some of Willie's other monologues stands out.  The 
humor, mixed with a touch of realism is a contrast to the 
abstract and the random that dominate No Shame.  Reality mixes 
good with chaos.

15. "Needlepoint" by Chris Stangl
(C. Stangl, N. Campbell, A. Clarke.  Comic monologues.  Folk 
ghost story, PTA speech on Halloween safety, boy's school report 
gradually intertwine in Halloween mayhem.)
Enjoyable.  The ghost story was definitely the strong point.

There you have it.  I'll be pleased if next week is as varied and 
entertaining as last night's show.

Heading out to the bars-
Tom Kovacs

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 02:25:27 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:"Melancholy Monday Morning," the piece that rips off E. A. Poe, 
:is much better read than performed.  I acknowledge that now, and 
:admit that I would have been wise to bring my script up with me 
:instead of trying to memorize it.

Delivery sounded bored.  Also, problematic to predicate an entire 
piece on a rhyme with a word that only works when incorrectly 
stressed.  Felt longer than the content merited.

:"The Miserable Tale of Duct Tape Man" was not as trying as some 
:of you suggested.  I didn't subject myself to sitting through an 
:entire show wrapped up like a big silver duct tape mummy.  That 
:would have really sucked.  Instead, I went back stage two acts 
:early and wrapped myself up then.

Didn't see it.

:The anonamous chick who argued with me in "A SHort Draft About 
:BEER" is named Carol Wallace.  And, I am honored that someone 
:compared this gag to the great Monty Python's "SPAM" sketch!

The skit portion of this was a one-trick pony.  Guessed the punch 
line within about 15 seconds.  Beer list was entertaining, but 
maybe a different format would have worked better.  Direct 
address?  (also, again, shorter would have been stronger)

Jim

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 03:28:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.118

:  Just hoping for some feedback on my piece last Friday. It was 
:
the one in the dark with the various sensory information and 
:
such. I'll take whatever feedback I can get, thanks in advance.
:
  Also, if you liked it and you'd like to see a little more of 
:
what I've done recently, I set up a crappy little webpage for 
:
that purpose. The redirect address is (listen.to/silentwords). 
:
Hope you enjoy it. Once again, please give me feedback.
:

:
        -Noah Schaffer

Great sketch.  I could actually taste the cheddar on my tongue as 
my feet warmed infront of a roaring fireplace.  Nice break from 
the laughter.  Kudos.

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 03:51:36 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.100

Announcements:
Done with an energy which belied and conquered the audience's lack of it.  I like Neil's idea of
pointing at authors.


:1. "Kyle Long in `Newbie's First Sketch'" by Kyle Long,
A good "first piece".  I was neither bored nor irritated by this.  If he comes back, however, I
would expect more from him.
:
:2. "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour" by Paul Rust
I liked that this overcame what could have come off as a panderance(is that a word?) to the no
shame crowd: man beloved to 
children admits to being pedophile.  The fact that the man's vociferous opponent in this admission
was his own hand made it 
different from the start, but not different enough to convince me.  When the truth came out (this
really is joke) it made sitting through 
what seemed like a desparate, hackneyed play for weak shock humor really come together
hilariously.  Hooray.
:3. "How to Rool a Joint.  With Mic Chicken fucker brought to you 
:by Pecker Power Mic Chicken fucker the cock you can trust. 
I'm not sure, but I think that without the odd overlaying of the chicken personality (which is
referrenced nowhere in the text) this 
wouldn't have been very funny at all.  The world of the piece would simply have been too one
dimensional.  Fortunately, Mr. Brokken 
thought to enrich this piece with the costume and chicken voice.  I don't think the text or the
costume alone are very funny, but in 
concert, they are marvelous.
:4. "The Death of Jar Jar Lawson" by Al "Red Fuck" Angel
Ohh, this was just so beautiful taht I couldn't help but laugh myself sore.  That pretty
willukuzeedubeast!
:4.5 "The Flapper ---&--- the Clown Pt. II: A Dream Island;
Don't know what to say about this one, exactly.  I had been getting afraid the Arlen's bits were
tending overmuch toward the 
disgusting blood and gore stuff, and this one had elements of that, but mostly it was a pretty
sparse comedic landscape compared to 
most of his pieces.  more than anything, I'd like to say that I don't feel comfortable judjing this
without seeing the entire cycle.

:5. "Windshield" by Nozebone the Band.
:A good running gag can only last so long before it becomes 
:redundant.  This song was a step up from last week's umbrella 
:bit, but I personally think the whole nosebone thing is wearing a 
:little bit thin.  Next week, change something about your 
:presentation and catch the audience off guard.  It'll be greatly 
:appreciated.
     I have to responda little to this criticism.  Nozebone the Band is NOT A GAG, or a joke
of any kind.  We are a band.  A 
musically  naive band, but a band nonetheless.  That said, I do understand the need for a
performer of any kind to keep the act fresh, 
so, if you have any specific thoughts on 'catching the audience off gaurd' email them to me. 
lucre@penis.com  thanks.  Also, I liked 
the umbrella song better than this one, the tune to Umbrella was one Mark came up with initially
and I refined over several weeks.  
The tune to Windshield was something I adapted from 'Both Hands' by Ani DiFranco by
simplifying it so much that I could play it, 
even though its already very simple.  The lyrics to Windshield suffered last minute revision, while
we were confident about the 
umbrella lyrics even before we had the tune.  Guess that says something for spontaneity, huh? 
Maybe it just says something for 
Melodica.
     Before I saw this review, I would have said that I thought the song went well, but I felt
like the audience was laughing just a 
little too much.  Like they really want to make a comedy sketch out of Nozebone the Band.
:6. "Show Me Your Big, Fat, Floppy Tits" by Aprille Clarke
:(A. Clarke, B. Smith. Comedy sketch.)
A nice bit, and funny, I think I was beginning to fall asleep at this point, due in no part to the
content of anyone's writing or 
performance.  I don't feel qualified to review this one, but if you demanded a review of it, I would
tell you that I thought that it was 
very good and funny, but didn't go as far into turning the humor back in on itself as Aprille's
pieces usually go.  Bear in mind that when 
I make that criticism, I might be inventing most of my memory of the piece.
:
:7. "Flippin' The Grandma Switch" by Jamal River
:(J. River, A. Lawson. Comedy sketch/ monologue.)
The sick humor of a man whose family kills his grandmother: stupid perople are always the butt of
jokes.  Humor would be almost 
impossible without some sort of gap between the audience and the character's basic grasp of
common sense.  The operative difference 
which made this piece pleasing was that this character's stupidity read as innocent naivet‚, making
his sadistic actions seem 
charming and endearing.  I want to be more charmed and more endeared and less disgusted and
repelled in life.  That is why I liked 
this piece and why I liked Al's.  So ultimately, it is a matter of taste; do you like endearing, or
repelling?
:
:7.5 "A Birthday Present" by Chris Stangl
:(A. Lawson, C. Stangl. Comedy sketch.)
Mostly this just served to make me feel really crummy about having missed Arlen's surprise party. 
Sorry, Arlen.
:
:8. "Tracking Down Virgel the Giant Castrated Grizzly Bear, Who 
:Escaped from the Boulder Valley Circus [sic]" by Thomas Kovacs
One thing I have noticed about Tom's writing, probably the biggest downfall of his jokes is the
unneccesarry repetition of 
circumstances which have already been made clear through visual exposition.  I make this
criticism without specific memory of 
instances from last night's sketch (I do distinctly remember that I noticed at least one such
instance).  To criticize by analogy, Tom's 
tapeman peice had a fantastic visual gag where he tangoes and during the dip, the woman falls to
the floor.  It would have been 
hilarious if he hadn't said "it worked pretty well until I tried to dip her, then she fell to the floor".
The redundancy seemed sloppy 
and  made the joke seem more like simple exposition. 
:
:9. "Sweet William" by Ben Schmidt
:(B. Schmidt. Song.  Schimdt-style reworking of classic folk 
:song.)
A nice song for sure, and probably only noticably long because Ben had given us the warning. 
Ben's skill and beauty are an 
unattainable goal for Nozebone the Band, but reaching for the stars still might get you a few feet
off the ground.

:10. "Someday I Will Steal Chris Stangl's Seat" by Dan Fairchild
Well, aside from disagreeing with the opinions which have made up the backbones of Dan's last
two pieces, I really appreciate his 
writing and performance.  Angry "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore" + 
childlike bemusement = ripe and ready 
No Shame material.

:11. "Intermission" by Noah Schaffer
Probably a lot of people didn't like this because it wasn't funny.  People say they don't like
Nozebone the Band because it isn't funny, .  
Of course they miss the point.  Telling people that your piece won't be funny is usually a sure fire
way to make people think that it 
will bea funny piece disguised as a not funny piece.  This one convinced me that it deserved other
than humorous attention pretty 
quickly, which was a testament to the guy's writing and vocalization.  I enjoyed it.  Probably
because I had been hoping for a low-key 
night at No Shame. This piece and Ben's pretty song made me feel pretty well satisfied in that
respect.

:12. "Alex (with 3 x's) ---&--- a Horse's Cock." By Benjamin Hymen, 
:Steven Slye, and Alexxx.
I have to argue with Tom on the review of this one.  The 'shock value' used by these fellows is
really pretty run-of-the-mill No 
Shame fare: some nudity here, some violence there.  You will notice that the writing does not
contain overt referrences to despicable or 
grotesque acts as many NS pieces do.  The especially fun thing about these pieces is that they 1)
are obscure enough in content to keep 
me both guessing and laughing and 2) have contained overt depictions of an extreme audience
rejection of their supposed 'shock-
value', wherein, I think, lies the real value of these last two pieces.  They have simultaneously
critiqued themselves and the 
audience, thereby dropping everybody down a notch 

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 04:04:17 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.100


:11. "Intermission" by Noah Schaffer
Probably a lot of people didn't like this because it wasn't funny.  People say they don't like
Nozebone the Band because it isn't funny, .  
Of course they miss the point.  Telling people that your piece won't be funny is usually a sure fire
way to make people think that it 
will bea funny piece disguised as a not funny piece.  This one convinced me that it deserved other
than humorous attention pretty 
quickly, which was a testament to the guy's writing and vocalization.  I enjoyed it.  Probably
because I had been hoping for a low-key 
night at No Shame. This piece and Ben's pretty song made me feel pretty well satisfied in that
respect.

:12. "Alex (with 3 x's) ---&--- a Horse's Cock." By Benjamin Hymen, 
:Steven Slye, and Alexxx.
I have to argue with Tom on the review of this one.  The 'shock value' used by these fellows is
really pretty run-of-the-mill No 
Shame fare: some nudity here, some violence there.  You will notice that the writing does not
contain overt referrences to despicable or 
grotesque acts as many NS pieces do.  The especially fun thing about these pieces is that they 1)
are obscure enough in content to keep 
me both guessing and laughing and 2) have contained overt depictions of an extreme audience
rejection of their supposed 'shock-
value', wherein, I think, lies the real value of these last two pieces.  They have simultaneously
critiqued themselves and the 
audience, thereby dropping everybody down a notch and saying 'to hell with us for feeling
superior to you, to hell with you for feeling 
superior to us.'.

:13. "The Tale of the Disappearing Farmer" by Neil "Balls"
:Campbell"
Again, I was falling asleep.  I don't think it was Balls' piece, but it was not a very visually active
bit.  Also, weren't the light at half 
or something?  It seemed interesting.  I guess I'd like to see a script.

:14. "Fingernail Polish" by Willie Barbour
I liked this mono, perhaps the best of Willie's this semester.  I know that odd limbo state of doing
nail polish all too well: while it's 
innocent fun, it's also strangely arousing to have a woman assist you in a cross over into feminine
territory.
:
:15. "Needlepoint" by Chris Stangl
That was a good piece, says I.  I loved the multilayering here as much as I liked it in last week's
Jelly piece.  Only this time there 
were actors other than Chris.  This was nice too, since everybody were well cast.  Very good
holiday theme bit.



"So saying, mega-love became infant love.  I spoke to it through the spokes in the wheel of a baby
carriage, and I hid in the darkness 
underneath."

-Nichabod Clane

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 08:56:40 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.42

All right, let's make something clear here. "No damage to space 
or occupants."  That means if you plan on doing ANYTHING that 
might cause some damage to the space, make sure to clear with 
the board before the show. And "damage" includes anything that 
makes a mess. SO, if you plan on throwing a tomato at the stage, 
or shooting squirt guns, coming prepared to clean it up is not 
enough. You must also okay it before the show. Chances are, if 
the mess doesn't seem like it will be too bad, and you've come 
prepared with the means to clean it up quickly, it will be 
okayed.  Remember when Julia Wilder had Aprille Clarke splash a 
glass of water in her face? That was okayed before the show.  
The squirt guns and the tomato? Those were not.

Also, if I or anyone else forget to read the rules, that does 
not make it okay to break them. You guys know the rules, and 
they are in place every week. 

So, for future reference, clear possible messes with the board 
beforehand. Or you will make us angry.

Later this week I will review the show.  But not right now.  My 
critiques have been described as "merciless," "brutal," 
and "fruity," so sturdy yourselves now.  

Balls

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 20:12:57 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.77

I want to speak affections for them that have done the manginas 
and the hittings. I don't know if I can put my finger on quite 
why, but I love them. I get so happy to see them on the stage. 
Their pieces seem of a very different flavor than most of the 
stuff that's going on at No Shame right now. I don't find the 
pieces very shocking, whether that's the intent or not, (is it? 
I don't know). I'm invigorated by the fact that these folks do 
things that most performers aren't willing or, maybe, able to 
do. Take me, for example: remember their 1st piece where they 
smacked each other up and then punched a face? I'd wanted to do 
a piece like that for quite a while. JUST like that, really: I 
wanted to have me and one other person on stage, smacking each 
other around with real, relativley painful smacks. I liked the 
idea of the audience having to watch some violence that wasn't 
faked, but genuinely painful for those involved. But I didn't 
ever do it, cuz, well, who wants to get hit in the face 
repeatedly? Not me. But those guys did it, and I loved it. And 
the nudity is sort of the same, sort of. I think lots of 
performers would kinda like to get nude (and no, you're not nude 
if you're wearing boxers, mister!) on the stage, but not many 
ever actually go through with it. So I guess I admire these 
guyses' bravery, and the way they look pretty much at ease with 
whatever it is they're doing. Oh, and I liked hearing that one 
fella play the trumpet. That was neat-O.

Um, I also want to speak praises of the NoseBone. I don't know 
why people have such difficulties understanding that they aren't 
a schtick or a gimmick, but a genuine band who is putting 
genuine thoughts and emotions into their genuine songs. 
Technical proficiency or lack thereof is only one of many 
aspects of a band's music, and really they both have their pros 
and cons: I almost invariably like a band's earlier work, before 
they've completely mastered their instruments and the song 
writing process. Those early songs seem to have a certain 
honesty, not to mention a vulnerability and often a playfulness, 
that can't be faked or replicated. And, as with the nude violent 
guys, there's definitely a sense of bravery that I'm impressed 
by with NoseBand: if you already know that you can play an 
instrument, and that you've reached "genuine musician" status, 
then it seems to me it's gonna be a lot less nerve wracking to 
get up there and do a heartfelt performance- the emotion is 
still there, but you've got your technical expertise to act as a 
buffer, so you're not really completely vulnerable. NoseBone 
does not have technical expertise, and to me that makes them a 
lot more courageous, and vulnerable, and inspiring than if they 
did. ...Of course if they practice enough and for long enough I 
suppose they will. Sell outs! 
OK I am done. This post is so much longer than I'd intended.

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 20:58:49 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.176

1. "Kyle Long in `Newbie's First Sketch'" by Kyle Long
:
(performed by K. Long. Comic monologue.  Though NST causes ass-
:
itch, newcomer performs to win bet.)

While I tend to like the first piece of the night to start off 
with a lot of energy, which Kyle's didn't have, I liked it.  He 
SEEMED like a newbie, TRYING to look comfortable, lounging 
against the table.  This could be because he was in fact a newbie 
trying to look comfortable but it was effective nonetheless.  I 
was disappointed that sometime during his monologue he didn't 
subtly (sp?)use the edge of the table to scratch his ass-itch but 
maybe this would have shattered his newbie nuance.

:
2. "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour" by Paul Rust
:
(P. Rust. Comic monologue. Kiddie show host jokes with sock 
:
puppet about pedophilia.)
I, for one, could see that the pediphile thing being a joke sent 
on by a viewer was coming but this didn't diminish it's effect.  
I was anticipating it rather than dreading it.  Plus it was 
really well delivered.  Paul began to falter in his sock voice at 
points but I'll forgive him that.  Plus, no offense if you're 
reading this, Paul reminds me of Steve from Blues Clues so he had 
that going for him.

:
3. "How to Rool a Joint.  With Mic Chicken fucker brought to you 
:
by Pecker Power Mic Chicken fucker the cock you can trust. 
:
[sic]" by Joe Brokken
:
(J. Brokken.  Comic monologue.  Giant chicken expounds on Gungan 
:
blowjobs, voodoo-exploded penises, while preparing oversized 
:
marijuana cigarette.)
Gotta agree with Nick.  Without the chicken outfit and voice it 
wouldn't have been that great.  But with he did do a good job of 
using the chicken voice to deliver the humor.  By the way.  I 
found a chicken feather on the floor after the show.  I'll be 
putting it on Ebay for anybody who collects NST memorabilia.
:

:
4. "The Death of Jar Jar Lawson" by Al "Red Fuck" Angel
:
(J. River, N. Campbell.  Comedy sketch.  Romance between Joe and 
:
a Wilukazeetibeest disrupted by Ashley Fartsmeller.)

I would like to see Jamal not use that sort of sarcastic, child-
like voice inflection (is that the word I'm looking for) for just 
one skit.  I felt it really screwed up the tone of the skit.  I 
didn't write the sketch so I don't know for certain, but I felt 
Balls delivered it the way Al meant for it to be delivered.  It 
just seemed that way.

:
4.5 "The Flapper --&-- the Clown Pt. II: A Dream Island; a serial 
:
monologue" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson.
:
(A.J.EX2 Lawson. Comic/horrific monologue.  After toiling on 
:
mysterious doghouse, dead flapper emerges from same, dances 
:
"zombie Charleston.")
HA!  Continuity error!  If this week's 'logue was a continuation 
of last 'logue (I'm coining that term right now) then why wasn't 
his finger cut off last week?  Huh?  His Spice Girls Lunch 
Box 'logue remains my favorite.  I feel Arlen experimenting a wee 
bit with his style and I think such things are good.  I'd like to 
see what emerges from this cocoon.
:

:
5. "Windshield" by Nozebone the Band.
:
(N. Clark, M. Hansen.  Song.  Voyeuristic male gaze through 
:
windshield deflected by power of love.)

Ideas to keep it fresh?  Umm...flying pigs?  Interpretive dance? 
I have an idea.  Maybe a little interaction with the audience 
could keep 'em interested.  Ask if we are ready to rock, tell us 
about how the song came into being.  Lube up our rectums before 
you stick it in.  Introduce the band members.  I dunno.  Just 
suggestions.  As for the song...yeah, good.  We could hear the 
lyrics much more this time around which many appreciated.
:

:
6. "Show Me Your Big, Fat, Floppy Tits" by Aprille Clarke
:
(A. Clarke, B. Smith. Comedy sketch. Sub-Saharan African child 
:
sabotages Christian Children's Fund advert via na‹ve 
:
cannibalism.)
I love titles that have nothing to do with the actual piece.  
Nobody remembers the titles by the time the sketch rolls around 
any damn way.  I liked how Aprille only once mentioned the reason 
she doesn't look African is because she had a lot of surgery and 
instead of letting that be the big joke, she let every other bit 
of humor build off the fact that she looks nothing and sounds 
nothing like anybody even near Africa.  I noticed Mr. Smith 
wondering how to keep busy as the bartender but after awhile he 
just became enthralled with the story which worked well.
:

:
7. "Flippin' The Grandma Switch" by Jamal River
:
(J. River, A. Lawson. Comedy sketch/ monologue. Boy reminisces 
:
about burying grandmother alive, fantasizes about collegiate 
:
scrotum-eating monkey.)

Once again, getting tired of Jamal's man-child act.  It works 
well with many of his pieces and I guess now that I think about 
it, it's a good way to do this piece but I'd like to see him show 
some range.
:

:
7.5 "A Birthday Present" by Chris Stangl
:
(A. Lawson, C. Stangl. Comedy sketch. Awful gift fails to cure 
:
human misery.)

The way Arlen delivered the "No" at the very end was friggin' 
priceless.  I wanted to hug him.
:

:
8. "Tracking Down Virgel the Giant Castrated Grizzly Bear, Who 
:
Escaped from the Boulder Valley Circus [sic]" by Thomas Kovacs
:
(T. Kovacs, S. Negron, plus two.  Comedy sketch. Stalking of 
:
legendary bear, who sounds "like Whitney Houston.)

I can see how this one would look good on paper, but it didn't 
really get me.  It just seems like you're expecting laughter.  
I'm not an expert on this but I think that if you expect the 
audience to laugh it isn't going to happen.  I had that problem 
with my piece this week, too.
:

:
9. "Sweet William" by Ben Schmidt
:
(B. Schmidt. Song.  Schimdt-style reworking of classic folk 
:
song.)
Three words.  Fuck Jeff Healy

:
10. "Someday I Will Steal Chris Stangl's Seat" by Dan Fairchild
:
(C. Fairchild. Comic monologue.  Why Stangl is variously a 
:
"fucking dictator," "paying women to fuck him," and "God.")
You know what sucks about following Ben Schmidt?  Two things.  
One: he's so good and gets the crowd in a certain mood that a 
comic monologue like mine is in serious trouble.  And two: I'm so 
pumped up that I'm next that I find it hard to get into the 
music. He still had me, though.  Looking over my piece I caught 
my foot keeping time.

I'll finish up later on.

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 23:18:07 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.97

Dear Nick Lucre,
I have no idea who you are, but let me take this opportunity to 
say that I really appreciate your assesment of my material.  You 
are correct both in that at no time have I tried to "shock" or 
offend anybody I think that this is clear to anyone who has an 
understanding of the media in which it was presented.  Moreover, 
you are very astute in recognizing my petrifying fear of the 
audience and there ability to tear into anything.  Hence my 
decisions to involve and motivate the audience through 
participation.  Your insight has been invaluable, and although it 
does not boost my confidence it is tremendously appreciated.  In 
closing I would like to respond to Tom or whatever his name is, 
that if I wanted to "shock" people I would get up on stage and 
shove a greased cucumber up my ass, or any number of other things 
that I know would not only "shock" people, but leave them with an 
image of me burned into there brains for the remainder of there 
lives. 
                I look forward to meeting you Mr. Lucre
                        
                                         Benjamin Hymen 

Time: Sun, 29-Oct-2000 23:30:33 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.97


Dear Mr.----- Balls?
 Hello, this is benjamin H. speaking.  I did not know that I would 
have to clear anything with anybody and in retrospect this seems 
like a very foolish assumption.  I do apologize for the mess (of 
tomato) and be rest assured that in the future I will be more 
prepared to clean up any messes with utmost efficiency, and 
furthermore that I will be sure to make the neccesary 
notifications in the future.
                                         thank you
                                               B. Hymen

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 00:26:39 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

Just a reminder to performers new and old that it's way cool when 
you send your scripts to be included in the online No Shame 
archives ( at http://www.noshame.org ).  This can be accomplished 
by sending a text or HTML file to jeffgoode@aol.com so he can add 
it to the site.

-Adam

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 02:38:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Balls,

It seems that I'm doing a bit of apoligizing to people this 
week.  It's a rough lesson, but I'm figuring out that anything I 
do that in anyway involves No Shame is seen by enough people that 
it gets both good and bad responses.  That's the way it goes.

But, I do try to play by the rules and sincerely apoligize for 
the whole squirt gun bit.  I should have cleared it up first, but 
I didn't think that a small blast of H2O was damaging the theatre 
or its occupants.  Next time I'll warn you in advance.

Tom

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 03:20:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

It seems that he who whites the first review can easily generate 
a lot of controversy.  A lot of people are responding to my 
reviews, with both supportive agreements and scathing 
disagreements.  That being the case, anyone who really wants to 
address me personally can find me at mrauthorboy@hotmail.com.

Ben-

I stand firmly on my word that I didn't really like your skit on 
Friday and interpreted it as relying solely on shock value.  In 
my review, I stated my opinion and that of the group I went to 
the show with.  Take it with a grain of salt and accept that your 
bit got a mixed review.  Perhaps you should consider it an 
achievement that your rash naked time skit has generated such a 
heated online discussion.

However, I mistakingly made the mistake of posting a sweeping 
denounciation of your entire vison and everything you have 
performed and will perform at No Shame.  And for this I 
appoligize.  Having only seen three of your short skits; the 
first of which left me puzzled, the second of which I found 
enjoyable, and the third of which I wish I hadn't witnessed, it 
is truly unfair and even cruel of me to openly slam everything 
you've ever written.  Truly, I'd be equally disturbed if someone 
made such a judgement of me based on my Castrated Bear skit.

If it must be known, I myself feel quite intimidated up there and 
often realize that at 17, I'm certainly the youngest performer 
and possibly the youngest person in the audience.  I look at my 
youth and relative inexperience with the attitude that I'll make 
mistakes and learn from them.  With five actsunder my belt I've 
had one big hit, one act that died smoldering on the stage, and 
three that were simply part of the show.  Incidentally, my one 
hit (Brotherly Love) is the one I wrote most recently, when I 
really felt in tune to the audience.  The smoldering bomb 
(Melancholy Monday Morning) took the most time to write and got 
the widest variety of compliments from friends and family.  Now 
that I'm done with the four skit back log of stuff I wrote in 
high school, my new bits are ready to take off in an entirely 
different direction.

Now an open target finished with apologies,
Tom Kovacs

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 07:57:09 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.239

I PASS JUDGEMENT ON THEE
Thoughts on No Shame 10.27.00 (Now with more diatribes!)
By Neil "Balls" Campbell

Announcements/ Order: Neil "Balls" Campbell, Aprille Clarke

I have fun doing the announcements.  So much fun.

1. "Kyle Long in `Newbie's First Sketch'" by Kyle Long

Meh.  Not much of substance here, but at least it didn't drag on 
too long, and the delivery was fine.  A simple, not-especially-
hilarious joke told well.

2. "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour" by Paul Rust

When I see Paul onstage, I am immediately engaged.  His presence 
and delivery are rare for a newcomer.  His writing is 
entertaining as well, but at this point he still sometimes has a 
tendency to go for the obvious jokes and easy targets (kid show 
host who likes kiddie porn, ultra-right-wing types).  I have no 
doubt, however, that he will continue to improve and grow more 
inventive.  The kid's got a lot of promise. I certainly didn't 
see the "this joke was sent in by" twist coming.  Unexpected.  
Funny.  Good. 

3. "How to Rool a Joint.  With Mic Chicken fucker brought to you 
by Pecker Power Mic Chicken fucker the cock you can trust. 
[sic]" by Joe Brokken

Funny visual, especially when juxtaposed with the content, but 
overall I felt the material strove more for pointless weirdness 
than cohesive weirdness, and was therefore unmemorable.  I never 
really cared about what he was saying.

4. "The Death of Jar Jar Lawson" by Al "Red Fuck" Angel

I was in this, so it's kind of hard to judge it, but it felt to 
me like it was overlong and the writing seemed to substitute 
bizarre when what it really wanted was funny (and in that 
respect reminded me of some of the work I did last semester).  
Not Al's best work, but at least it was an attempt at something 
a bit different, so kudos to him for that.  

4.5 "The Flapper --&-- the Clown Pt. II: A Dream Island; a serial 
monologue" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson.

I always enjoy Arlen's work because I never know what to expect, 
and he can simultaneously scare me and humor me.  His 
performances and writing always combine to create something 
quite unique and effective, and he's not afraid to go from being 
bad-ass serious to silly funny in the span of seconds. Also, he 
clearly puts the most work into his make-up.  This is more just 
general praise of Arlen, I guess, but it's still applicable to 
this piece.  Those were good things about it, Arlen!

5. "Windshield" by Nozebone the Band.

I appreciate Nozebone as a real band, though I'm constantly 
wondering why they dropped the silent "G" from the beginning of 
their name.  Nozebone is cool and different, just like you wish 
you were.  My only complaint: the drop-off in pieces by Mark 
Hansen and Nick Clark.  I would gladly trade in weekly 
performances by Nozebone for more solo work from both Hansen and 
Clark.

6. "Show Me Your Big, Fat, Floppy Tits" by Aprille Clarke

Aprille combines intelligence with the ability to find humor in 
the most unlikely of places (sub-Saharan Africa, a woman's 
bloody uterus).  For this I admire her greatly. The groan-
inducing ending, enhanced by the wink, was superb.

7. "Flippin' The Grandma Switch" by Jamal River

This was the best because every laugh came out of a totally 
unexpected place as the piece kept twisting and turning (from a 
sketch into a monologue that constantly shifted directions), yet 
when it was all over with it had all come together into a 
perfect whole.  Also, a creepy performance just right for 
Halloween by Arlen Lawson as a dead man who could still laugh. 
The funniest piece of the night in terms of both the writing and 
the sheer quantity of laughs.  (I would also like to add that 
Jamal is the most charismatic person I have ever seen grace the 
No Shame stage, and that I find his performances do vary quite a 
bit from character to character, and that the choices he makes 
regarding how to best play a character are always to the benefit 
of the piece).

7.5 "A Birthday Present" by Chris Stangl

Comedy is a lot funnier when it's inherently sad.  C. Stangl 
understands this, and he also understands exactly when a joke 
has run its course.  I'm glad he puts that knowledge to use, 
because the payoff is faboo.

8. "Tracking Down Virgel the Giant Castrated Grizzly Bear, Who 
Escaped from the Boulder Valley Circus [sic]" by Thomas Kovacs

I'll begin with what I liked:  I found that girl who walked on 
singing to be a funny, if not highly original, touch.  However, 
I found your performance, Mr. Kovacs, to be lacking.  In this 
and your other pieces, you seem to just be saying the lines you 
wrote and nothing more, instead of creating a performance.  It's 
none-too-entertaining to watch somebody reciting lines instead 
of playing a character.  And if you say the lines expecting them 
to receive a laugh, as you oftentimes seem to be doing, instead 
of delivering them with the utmost conviction, it becomes 
mutated stand-up comedy and winds up hurting the piece. 
Remember: nobody likes stand-up comedy.  Also, I wouldn't be so 
quick as to proclaim your brothers sketch "a hit."  I thought it 
took one simple, somewhat humorous idea and exposited on it for 
way too long, and I must say that has been a recurring problem 
in your work.  There are several people out there, including 
you, whom I would urge to attempt to write shorter pieces.  As 
in, one to three minutes.  Do more editing.  You've been doing 
No Shame for a little while now, and I'm sure you've gained 
something of a grasp on what keeps the audience's attention. Do 
Stangl and I and several other regulars consistently break the 
five-minute rule?  Yes.  However, this has come from experience, 
and learning how to break the rule while keeping the audience 
entertained throughout.  Do we fail sometimes, and write pieces 
that are still too long and not consistently entertaining?  Of 
course.  But it really does take a lot of practice to learn how 
to get away with breaking that rule.  I dare say that most of us 
who usually break that rule now (Stangl, Lawson, myself, and so 
on) began by writing much much shorter pieces.  As a final piece 
of advice, to you and to other newcomers, I would suggest that 
you take more risks in your writing.  Thus far all of your 
pieces have been SNL-type "safe" fare.   Add some edge, yo!  Or 
at least stray away from the norm.   

9. "Sweet William" by Ben Schmidt

So Ben Schmidt's musical style is not exactly the kind of music 
that most appeals to me, but I have to say that I do look 
forward to every one of his performances, and that he always 
keeps me interested and leaves me in awe.  This song was no 
exception.  REMEMBER: Go see Ben rock the Mill on Wednesday, 
November 1st, at 9:00pm.  No cover, kids!

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 07:59:13 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.239

10. "Someday I Will Steal Chris Stangl's Seat" by Dan Fairchild

It's amazing how often a first-timer's piece deals in some way 
with the fact that this is their first time performing at No 
Shame (see Kyle Long, above).  It's not quite as amazing that 
those pieces never cease to bore me.  Seeing as how this wasn't 
Dan's first piece, I was disappointed that he was still 
resorting to writing about the institution of No Shame. The 
audience seemed to respond quite a bit to this piece, so there's 
something to be said for that, but I generally find any piece 
that is actually about No Shame or the people there to be rather 
hackneyed and boring.  One criticism that I repeatedly hear 
about No Shame is that there are too many in-jokes, but when you 
take a closer look, it seems like most of the in-jokes are 
coming from newcomers, not regulars.  I feel like Dan writes 
well and has a solid presence, but I would like to see him get 
away from writing about No Shame.  Here's a good rule of thumb 
for everybody:  write FOR No Shame, not ABOUT No Shame.  If you 
want to write about No Shame, come here to the Board Room.  I 
believe I said something very similar to this last semester, but 
I don't recall what spurred it on at the time.  At any rate, it 
still holds true.  Also, and this criticism goes out to a lot 
more people than just Dan, when performing any sort of piece, 
pay attention to the movement.  When performing a monologue, 
don't just sort of amble around the stage.  Come up with 
movement that fits and enhances the piece.

11. "Intermission" by Noah Schaffer

Something different and not too long, so that was nice, but it 
did very little for me.  I couldn't get into this shared voyage 
thing_it reminded me of class exercises I did in high school 
Psychology.  I just opened my eyes and found the stage picture_
darkness except for Noah and his flashlight as he was reading 
aloud and staring intently at his script_to be loads more 
interesting than the piece itself.

12. "Alex (with 3 x's) --&-- a Horse's Cock." By Benjamin Hymen, 
Steven Slye, and Alexxx.

My three favorite newcomers this semester, in no particular 
order: Alyssa Bowman, Paul Rust, and these guys.  I also do not 
feel like they are doing this for shock value.  Since when has 
nudity been shocking at No Shame?   The most interesting thing 
to see on stage is somebody taking a risk, and while these guys 
are doing it in what really amounts to the easiest and most 
basic ways possible (nudity and physical pain), those are also 
the most visceral ways.  An overlooked aspect of their pieces: 
the writing.  I have found their writing to be quite 
intelligent, unique, and funny.  One of their most admirable 
attributes: brevity (this is also the case with A. Bowman and P. 
Rust, even if the latter does, at times, let his pieces go on a 
little longer than they should, they're still not oppressively 
long).   

13. "The Tale of the Disappearing Farmer" by Neil "Balls" 
Campbell

Secrets behind this piece: 1)  I vaguely remember some story 
about a disappearing farmer from a book I read as a child 
about "Unexplained Real Life Phenomena" or something like that, 
but I couldn't find anything about it so I just went with my 
vague memory and built it from there.  2)  My intention was to 
write it as a straight-up segment out of Unsolved Mysteries_not 
as a stupid parody or an intentionally funny piece, but just 
like something you might actually see on Unsolved Mysteries 
(except performed entirely by one person).  I did this without 
thinking too much about how entertaining that would be, though.  
Maybe I should have thought about that, maybe not.  Let me know 
what you think.

14. "Fingernail Polish" by Willie Barbour

My favorite piece Willie has done this semester.  Engaging, 
funny, sad.  The contrast of the content to Willie's naively 
optimistic delivery made for sure-fire hilarity.

15. "Needlepoint" by Chris Stangl

This was ridiculous fun to be in, and not just because I got to 
eat a whole thing of Pez.  One of Stangl's "sillier" pieces, the 
humor was both well-constructed and off-the-wall, so the 
audience laughed quite a bit, I think. 

Next week, the line to submit pieces will once again be in the 
lounge.  Best to remember that.

Go to sleep.

The Only One Who Truly Love You,

Neil as in Balls as in Campbell

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 21:26:47 GMT     IP: 209.56.113.212

11. "Intermission" by Noah Schaffer
(N. Schaffer.  Guided imagery monologue.  Sensory tour via food 
imagery in the dark.)

I thought this was a good idea but it didn't capture me.  My 
attention span was all fucked up.  I would like to read the 
script.  Until I do I will refrain from passing judgement.

12. "Alex (with 3 x's) --&-- a Horse's Cock." By Benjamin Hymen, 
Steven Slye, and Alexxx.
(B. Hymen, S. Slye, plus two. Comedy sketch. Mangina Man, Penis 
Man, Scientist Man and Woman Man argue over "gross"ness of 
manginas.)
The controversy: was this for shock value or not?  I don't think 
it was but I don't give a shit, either.  What I did think was 
that the sketch depended solely on the nudity (of course).  I 
don't think this is a bad thing but I would have liked just a 
little bit more humorous lecture from Scientist Man about the 
physique of Penis Man and Woman Man.  Not too much more because 
I agree that short and sweet was the way to go with this one.

13. "The Tale of the Disappearing Farmer" by Neil "Balls 
Campbell"
(N. Campbell.  Investigative monologue. Some seven characters 
give oral impressions of creepy, unexplained title occurrence.)

I didn't find it entertaining.  It seemed more like an article 
from a newspaper than Unsolved Mysteries so it missed the mark 
in that sense.  Maybe if other performers read the eyewitness 
accounts and Balls stuck to Robert Stack.  Other than that it 
was well-written.  It was very Unsolved Mysteries.

14. "Fingernail Polish" by Willie Barbour
(W. Barbour. Comic monologue. Repeated testosterone surges/ 
requests to see woman's breasts leads to messy assault with 
lavender polish.)
Willie is one of my favorites.  Whether it's one of his...noir I 
guess is the word I'm looking for, pieces or bungling romps of 
naivete(sp?) like this one I dig him something fierce.  I just 
recently ended a relationship of three years and for that entire 
three years my toe nails were painted.  It started out as just a 
flirty, excuse to touch type of thing and eventually became a 
tradition.  So for me it was twice as funny for personal 
reasons.  A shitty way to review a piece, I know, but that's the 
impact it had on me.

15. "Needlepoint" by Chris Stangl
(C. Stangl, N. Campbell, A. Clarke.  Comic monologues.  Folk 
ghost story, PTA speech on Halloween safety, boy's school report 
gradually intertwine in Halloween mayhem.)

Time: Mon, 30-Oct-2000 21:35:15 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.6

:Just a reminder to performers new and old that it's way cool when 
:you send your scripts to be included in the online No Shame 
:archives.

Why, Adam, why?  Tell me!

-Al

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 00:26:32 GMT     IP: 205.188.198.183

I was just wondering how this recruiting people for skits thing 
happens.  Do people actually let people know you will need them 
a few days before Friday night or do you just say, "Hey! Buddy!  
Here's a script.  Be in my skit." As best I can tell it is the 
later.  Am I right?

-dan

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 00:34:04 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.29


thank you for finishing my line. Your contribution to the 
performance is what I strive for.   

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 01:31:12 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.209

:I was just wondering how this recruiting people for skits thing 
:happens.  Do people actually let people know you will need them 
:a few days before Friday night or do you just say, "Hey! Buddy!  
:Here's a script.  Be in my skit." As best I can tell it is the 
:later.  Am I right?
:
:-dan

you're right, it's mostly the later [sic].  sometimes, if the 
author really wants a specific person to be in his/her piece, 
author will contact that person ahead of time to make sure he/she 
is coming to No Shame that night.

every now and then, there's an author who is so organized that he/
she actually gets scripts to all the actors ahead of time.  but the 
only person i really know who does that with any consistency is 
Chris Okiishi, who is far less busy saving lives than the rest of 
us are doing college stuff.

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 01:31:37 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.103

Danny m'boy
There's no rule.  This is entirely up to you.  Think to yourself, "Is this piece demanding enough
that it requires a mess of rehearsal 
beforehand?"  then think "well, maybe it is, but is it good enough to be worth that extra effort?" 
that one is just to keep your self- 
esteem low.  Usually pieces written for NS don't require more rehearsal time than apears between
the taking of the order and the 
opening of the doors, but many really great pieces do require more.  I guess what I am telling you
is "I don't know".  Hope this has been 
helpful!
Mega Love, Infant Love,
     -Reverend Mega-Nick Lucre-Clark

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 02:34:34 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

SUBJECT:  How to vote for Gore AND Nader (sort of) without 
electing Bush

Hi all!  Things are getting very tense as the possibility of a 
Bush presidency looms on the horizon.  Some inventive people have 
come up with a novel (and legal) way that allows Gore and Nader 
supporters to work together--not against each other--to make sure 
that Bush doesn't win.  Please visit 
http://www.avalon.net/~adam/workingtogether.html for details, and 
forward this message to everyone you know who supports either 
Gore or Nader.  Your efforts can make the difference, even in 
states where Bush supposedly has won already.

Thanks,
Adam

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 07:10:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

All right, I've said something about anyone and everyone that 
was on stage Friday, and taken a lot of heat for things said and 
things performed... poorly.  Just about every message this week 
has, in one way or another, targeted either my review or my 
performance (which I refused to review because I didn't know 
what to say about it).  But, if it'll make y'all happy, or at 
least make a feeble attempt at justifying what happened up 
there, I might as well say something about it.

First off, what you guys all saw was not the skit I planned.  It 
was a last second patchwork attempt at fixing a skit that ran 
into sudden problems before the show.  The original scene was 
heavily reliant on a tape of the real Whitney Houston screaching 
those high notes in "I Will Always Love You."  A true one joke 
gag that should have ran quite smoothly and been over with very 
quickly.  Thanks for giving me some credit here, Dan, it did 
look great on paper.  But, five minutes before the show, I was 
told that the sound board wasn't available on Friday night.  
This was the early downfall.

At this point, I had a quick discussion with Stangle and almost 
took the act out of the show all together.  My costars, however, 
plea bargained with me and canvinced me that I could do 
something to save the act.  Hmm...  I've got to thank Lexi for 
singing so well and making a great entrance, which saved 
something.  But the rest of the bit was pretty much reorganized 
and rewritten in silence while watching Jamal and Arlen and 
trying to rely on Sam to sing falsetto very poorly.

The moral of this story...
If you feel unsure about your act, it'll show.  If you don't 
know your lines because you just finished writing them minutes 
before, that'll show too.  And if something goes drastically 
wrong and you know things are really about to turn sour, it's 
probably a good idea to just save your act until the next week 
and spend some real time making it better.

Hoping I don't ever have to post anything else like this,
Tom

P.S.  Special thanks to the light god, who somehow could follow 
what was left of the skit and roll with the changes.

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 07:34:59 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.100


HA!  Continuity error!  If this week's 'logue was a continuation 
:
of last 'logue (I'm coining that term right now) then why wasn't 
:
his finger cut off last week?  Huh?  

I'm not sure this was a continuity error. Time was obviously 
supposed to have elapsed between the 1st piece and this one. Note 
that: 1)the blood on his face had dried, 2)his thumb was gone, 3) 
your butt (YOUR butt, not Arlen butt. no). I can't remember if 
Arlen had made statements in the 1st piece about having already 
built the doghouse, or if he was just saying he was _going_ to 
build it. This would, of course, make all the difference in terms 
of continuity problems, or lack. of. those. pr.obbblllee,,,,...ms.
IIIIIIthingkkkkk you caNCAN! smell a pee./Smell it You smell a 
pee. good for you.You. 

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 12:28:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.115

     Thank you all for your reviews. I really appreciated seeing 
what people thought (positive and negative alike). I believe 
that someone posted that they wanted to see the script, but I 
lost track of who it was. Whoever that was, the script is on my 
website (listen.to/silentwords), and I'm emailing it to be 
posted on the NS site.
     Also, if anyone would like to help me with creating and/or 
performing something really vile and depraved for some future NS 
performance (or just for kicks) please email me. Thanks again.

         -Noah Schaffer

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 12:36:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.115

11. "IntermissionEby Noah Schaffer
:

:
Something different and not too long, so that was nice, but it 
:
did very little for me.  I couldn't get into this shared voyage 
:
thing_it reminded me of class exercises I did in high school 
:
Psychology.  I just opened my eyes and found the stage pictureE:
darkness except for Noah and his flashlight as he was reading 
:
aloud and staring intently at his script_to be loads more 
:
interesting than the piece itself.
:

  Glad that you liked the visual performance even if you didn't 
get into the aural part. I thought that might look okay if people 
got bored with listening, so I guess it worked out. Also, I 
definitely acknoledge that the piece was too systematic, but I 
had hoped to be able to breathe life into that structure. Good to 
get some feedback either way. Thanks for your review.

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 18:13:15 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.8

Hey, I had a dream last night that involved poking my head out 
from between the curtains upstage in Theater B, and it made me 
remember that one guy who did that thing where he was a little 
gnome who did that.  That was two or three semesters ago, maybe?  
At first i didn't like his stuff but then i found it sort of 
charming.

anyway, where'd he go?  i haven't heard anything about him in 
awhile.  i don't remember his name or anything much about him 
except that he's sort of chubby and has a girlfriend named Jenna.

he was nice.

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 19:08:33 GMT     IP: 24.10.172.236

I have a delightful idea for our next No Shame skit...

Scroll down please.


If you are not Ben Hymen, please take a moment and ask 
yourself, "Why am I reading this?"

The idea...

                            "Monologue"
Steven G. Slye

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 20:54:16 GMT     IP: 209.56.113.212

I'm almost positive that he made reference to having built the 
dog house in the prior piece.  It doesn't really matter.  I was 
for the most part joking.  but here I am responding anyway like 
the dumbass I am.  I figure I've refrained from doing the dumbass 
thing by defending myself against bad reviews of my piece.  I can 
let myself slip up and at least defend MY reviews.  I'm done now.

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 21:09:00 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.84

     Ahoy, I'm Chris Stangl, who is the boss of you.  This is 
not a "direct order," and I don't want to sound like an 
"asshole," but I just spent an hour reading some dozen plus 
posts, and_ most of them didn't need to be here.
    I know you guys are "art fags" or "drama queens" and 
otherwise "theatre homosexuals," and not "computer queens" (?), 
and while this is a "free" "c(o)unt"ry , and you can "do 
whatever you want," here are some generally observed rules of 
posting to board-room style web pages.  The nerds call it 
"Netiquette," a hilarious neologism derived by clumsily joining 
"(Inter)net" and "etiquette": "Thanks for the review" posts 
fall under the heading of "me too" posts, aka unnecessary wastes 
of what dorks call "bandwidth."  If you haven't anything to 
really add to discussion beyond yes-no-thanks-I agree-me too, 
then you're taking up `puter-space, and the cheap-ass (free) NST 
website hasn't got an unlimited supply of this magical bandy-
width.  Same goes for "This Message For My Friend Only" 
messages, which are traditionally relegated to "private e-
mail."  "Unnecessary" is a qualification YOU have to figure out, 
natch, but remember that whatever you write takes TIME to read, 
so shouldn't it be WORTH our time?  And for kids with slow 
fartputers, it can be a monstro-the-whale pain to wait for a two 
line thank-you message to load_  Be kind, rewind.

   Unrelated to this Bandwidth issue.  This is simply 
traditional Good Form for accepting criticism: just take it.  
Public thank-you's aren't necessary, public apologies are 
virtually NEVER necessary.  If you bored someone, offended 
someone, stupid-pieced at someone, fucked up your delivery, 
special effects or sound system, apologizing doesn't strengthen 
your piece, doesn't retract your piece, and it doesn't make you 
a better writer.  I don't intend this as a scolding_ it's just 
something taught to me in Mr. Muir's 7th grade creative writing 
class, and it works wonders for keeping artists humble.

    Also, there's no E of any kind anywhere in my last name, and 
if you do it again I'll nail one of your body holes of my choice 
shut with plastic cocktail swords.

    The so humble you could shit Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 21:13:53 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.84


   Aprille Clarke, are you talking about James "Rocky" Horak?  I 
don't know what he's doing, but I know that his pieces were 
waning in popularity, and so was his interest in NST, though he 
was a beloved Regular anyhow.  His very-funny-for-a-funny-song 
"Growing Up" is on the upcoming No Shame CD titled "No Shame 
Theatre," and he helped with mixing and recording this over-late 
demon as well.  Ass well. Aslan. Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Tue, 31-Oct-2000 21:27:49 GMT     IP: 209.56.113.212

I hate ripping people apart so I'll take the pussy way out and 
just comment on the ones I like.  If I don't comment on your 
piece then, yes, you can assume that I either didn't like it or 
was indifferent towards it.  Sorry.  I figure you've had enough 
feedback so just consider this the people's choice awards.

1. "Kyle Long in `Newbie's First Sketch'" by Kyle Long
(performed by K. Long. Comic monologue.  Though NST causes ass-
itch, newcomer performs to win bet.)

2. "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour?by Paul Rust
(P. Rust. Comic monologue. Kiddie show host jokes with sock 
puppet about pedophilia.)

Brilliant.  I'm with Mr. Fairchild. I knew once he said the 
pediphile thing was a joke it was a matter of time before he 
would be telling which viewer sent in the joke.  Masterfully 
delivered, though.  He set it up perfectly with his sock puppet 
telling who sent in the joke the sock puppet told.  I dig.

3. "How to Rool a Joint.  With Mic Chicken fucker brought to you 
by Pecker Power Mic Chicken fucker the cock you can trust. 
[sic]?by Joe Brokken
(J. Brokken.  Comic monologue.  Giant chicken expounds on Gungan 
blowjobs, voodoo-exploded penises, while preparing oversized 
marijuana cigarette.)

Just the vision of the Gungan overlord giving a chicken a 
blowjob was enough to tickle my funny bone.  Sick fucker.

4. "The Death of Jar Jar Lawson?by Al "Red Fuck?Angel
(J. River, N. Campbell.  Comedy sketch.  Romance between Joe and 
a Wilukazeetibeest disrupted by Ashley Fartsmeller.)

4.5 "The Flapper --&-- the Clown Pt. II: A Dream Island; a serial 
monologue?by Arlen "Jar Jar?Lawson.
(A.J.EX2 Lawson. Comic/horrific monologue.  After toiling on 
mysterious doghouse, dead flapper emerges from same, dances 
"zombie Charleston.?

5. "Windshield?by Nozebone the Band.
(N. Clark, M. Hansen.  Song.  Voyeuristic male gaze through 
windshield deflected by power of love.)

Ideas to get Nozebone taken seriously?  Well the way I see it, 
Nozebone has become a tradition at No Shame.  The same as 
reading the order fast or Balls handing out the announcements.  
Maybe they could start their own traditions like dedicating the 
song to some random person in the audience and have that person 
sit on stage for the duration of the song.  People will 
eventually be fighting over such an honor like they do with the 
announcements.  In regards to the song, I feel Nozebone is in 
grave danger of actually becoming proficient with their 
instruments.  Maybe they should trade off every once in a while 
to remain out of practice.  The lyrics are the strong point.  It 
would be a shame if the music got in the way.

6. "Show Me Your Big, Fat, Floppy Tits?by Aprille Clarke
(A. Clarke, B. Smith. Comedy sketch. Sub-Saharan African child 
sabotages Christian Children's Fund advert via na?e 
cannibalism.)

I missed Aprille these past few weeks.  Where the hell has she 
been?  I felt her performance was on par with Ben Kingsley in 
Ghandi.  He isn't from India, but that didn't stop the Academy 
from rewarding his ass.  I expect Aprille to get the same 
distinction someday.  Maybe she could take the Candice Bergen 
role should they decide to remake Ghandi.

7. "Flippin?The Grandma Switch?by Jamal River
(J. River, A. Lawson. Comedy sketch/ monologue. Boy reminisces 
about burying grandmother alive, fantasizes about collegiate 
scrotum-eating monkey.)

7.5 "A Birthday Present?by Chris Stangl
(A. Lawson, C. Stangl. Comedy sketch. Awful gift fails to cure 
human misery.)  Arlen could have leprocy and he would still come 
across as loveable.

8. "Tracking Down Virgel the Giant Castrated Grizzly Bear, Who 
Escaped from the Boulder Valley Circus [sic]?by Thomas Kovacs
(T. Kovacs, S. Negron, plus two.  Comedy sketch. Stalking of 
legendary bear, who sounds "like Whitney Houston.)

9. "Sweet William?by Ben Schmidt
(B. Schmidt. Song.  Schimdt-style reworking of classic folk 
song.)This man has groove radiating from his ass.  Groove from 
his ass groove.  Yes.

10. "Someday I Will Steal Chris Stangl's Seat?by Dan Fairchild
(C. Fairchild. Comic monologue.  Why Stangl is variously a 
"fucking dictator,?"paying women to fuck him,?and "God.?
I can see BALLS' argument that No Shame regulars would be tired 
of pieces about No Shame.  But I have to come to Dan's defense. 
If I remember correctly his first piece was about No Shame but 
didn't dwell on it.  The second piece had absolutely nothing to 
do with No Shame and was fucking brilliant in my estimation and 
the third piece was about Chris fucking Stangl and since he 
admittedly doesn't know Chris very well he had to work with what 
he had which was No Shame.  I'd like to know what brought this 
piece about.  Find out why he chose Chris.  In regards to the 
inside jokes.  There were many of them.  When he made reference 
to what has gone on at No Shame in the past, the audience isn't 
totally alienated because they know that is the kind of shit 
that goes on at No Shame.  Even the first timers know this by 
the 10th skit.  As for the ambling around stage, I thought it 
worked.  He seemed like a bird of prey circling his next 
victim...Chris Stangl.  True, No Shame veterans would be tired 
of skits about No Shame and people, including Dan, should 
refrain from this in the future.  But this one the audience 
loved and I think that's what counts.  And yes, I do know Dan so 
I could be a little biased.

11. "Intermission?by Noah Schaffer
(N. Schaffer.  Guided imagery monologue.  Sensory tour via food 
imagery in the dark.)

12. "Alex (with 3 x's) --&-- a Horse's Cock.?By Benjamin Hymen, 
Steven Slye, and Alexxx.
(B. Hymen, S. Slye, plus two. Comedy sketch. Mangina Man, Penis 
Man, Scientist Man and Woman Man argue over "gross"ness of 
manginas.)

13. "The Tale of the Disappearing Farmer?by Neil "Balls 
Campbell?br (N. Campbell.  Investigative monologue. Some seven 
characters 
give oral impressions of creepy, unexplained title occurrence.)

14. "Fingernail Polish?by Willie Barbour
(W. Barbour. Comic monologue. Repeated testosterone surges/ 
requests to see woman's breasts leads to messy assault with 
lavender polish.)
Willie's presence made this one possible.  I don't see any other 
No Shamer delivering this one and making it work like Willie 
did.  Bitchin'.
15. "Needlepoint?by Chris Stangl
(C. Stangl, N. Campbell, A. Clarke.  Comic monologues.  Folk 
ghost story, PTA speech on Halloween safety, boy's school report 
gradually intertwine in Halloween mayhem.)

Time: Wed, 01-Nov-2000 05:23:29 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Evidently I'm really walking on this ice here, having 
successfully pissed off most of you through an extended series of 
public letters involving last week.  Perhaps it's time that I 
shut up and let this all pass under the bridge.  But don't worry, 
I'll be back in a few weeks with something that really kicks some 
ass.  Celebrate the silence, and I'll celebrate the fact that I 
don't have to argue with you guys any more about issues that 
should have just been dropped.  A few parting words:

This message board is the only place I've ever found reliable 
feedback on anything.  In any other place I've seen, feedback is 
limited to "This is good" or "You could do better."  But here, 
anything that's said is justified and explained in a way that's 
helpful, and is often responded to by others who voice their 
opinions.

I'm sure someone will scoff me for this, but all of this will 
help me in the long run.  A wise man once told me "If you don't 
have an inflated head and a bit of an ego about your writing, 
you'll never get anywhere."  I've just got to be stubborn and 
keep working at it.

Ciao-
Tom

Time: Wed, 01-Nov-2000 06:09:25 GMT     IP: 205.188.199.24

RE: this craze about being "reviewed".

I've always believed that a performer knows in their heart if 
what they are doing works or not. If the piece is comedy, and 
nobody laughed, then it didn't work. With drama it's harder to 
know, but the rule of thumb might be that if people laugh then 
it didn't work. To want the approval of your audience is totally 
natural, and we all have it, myself included. And they will 
approve of your material, to a certain extent. But in the end, 
you are the arbiter of the worth of your material. If you're 
writing comedy sketch after comedy sketch, and bombing every 
night, then you don't need a review to let you know you're doing 
something not so right. Instinct will usually let me know way 
before I hit the stage whether what I'm doing is working or not.

Being reviewed actually sucks. I haven't read the reviews for 
the show I'm in right now, and I don't want to. I know what I'm 
doing is working, and I don't need the 3rd string theatre 
reporter from the Chicago Sun-Times to tell me it's working, 
because I know. It just messes with your mind, and makes you 
second guess yourself if you're doing good work. And if you're 
not, I think you already know, or will find out very quickly.

And why I'm reading reviews of pieces I haven't seen is beyond 
me. And if you're going to be in Chicago the next two weekends, 
come see my play. It's funny and touching, and has male nudity.

mike

ps. touch my butt.

Time: Wed, 01-Nov-2000 06:24:36 GMT     IP: 152.163.201.211

I was screwing around on the ol' compulater, dicking through 
some of the short stories I've written and I've come across a 
piece that I think would translate well into a monologue.  It's 
written in stream of consciousness which is just a very short 
hop from being a monologue anyway.

Has any y'all adapted monologues from other types of writing?  
More to the point has any y'all done it successfully?

Comments?  Warnings?  Claims of Paternity?

-dan