Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 08:53:13 GMT     IP: 63.42.174.185

It is no joke or lie; Aaaaaron really wasn't wearing any 
underpants at all.  

Who else was not wearing underpants? Jamal knows, but for the 
rest of us it will remain an internal mystery.

Truly there was a coincidence.

Scratch yo head, man----

Balls at Night

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 17:43:23 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.60

It only now occurs to me how obvious it is that dull and 
lackluster mean the same thing. I (and perhaps Egg as well) was 
only thinking of them in relation to performances, art, etc, 
which makes them seem more abstract. (To me, anyway) But when 
you think of them in relation to objects (stones, jewelry, 
buttholes), well then it's so clear! If a rock is dull, it is 
not shiny. And if it is lackluster, it is not shiny! I get it. I 
get it now! More on this later...

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 17:59:38 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.60

Here's my concern: even though we have proven that the two words 
are officially the SAME!, I fear that common usage has made them 
quite distinct from one another in a situation like this. Don't 
get me wrong, this could all be in my head, and frankly, I hope 
it is. But just in case it's not... 
See, I think when you call a performance lackluster, it implies 
that the performance was short on energy, or perhaps it was a 
bit half "ass"ed. But not necessarily dull. Dull, to me, in this 
situation, means boring ("boring"). And just because something 
lacked energy or enthusiasm, that doesn't always mean it was 
boring. Just as something that was delivered with plenty of vim 
and vigor wasn't neccessarily un-boring. (If you would like 
examples to illustrate this point, I would be happee to oblige.) 
So that's my idea about things, people.! So you understand? I 
want to know. I love you. If you like me, grin! 
Two c's or one? I don't know.

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 18:44:37 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.186


    I dunno the difference between a laggluster and a dull, but 
I do know it is an interesting and useful topic of prolonged 
conversation.
    Also Balls' "Necktie Sinclair" was most funny for people who 
remember the REAL punchline to that scene from "Drexel's Class": 
"You're to young to have a uterus."  It was so funny it made me 
laugh til a turd peeked out.
    Other funniest thing is Village Inn has a item on the menu 
called "Fish Taco," and it doesn't appear to be a joke.
                          -Fish Taco Stangl!

Time: Sun, 01-Oct-2000 19:16:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.141


:    Other funniest thing is Village Inn has a item on the menu 
:called "Fish Taco," and it doesn't appear to be a joke.
:                          -Fish Taco Stangl!


WHAT!?!?!  I refuse to believe this until I see it with my own four 
eyes.  It is simply too ludicrous.  If true, my guess is that 
someone at Village Inn Headquarters (VIHQ, as they say in the 
trades) heard the expression, and decided that since no item yet 
existed on the VI menu, it was time to catch up on the competition.  
Senior Stangl, is this item on the daytime or late night menu?  If 
it is in the Night menu, I might just have to give my vegetarianism 
the night off and order one next week.

"My God.  It's full of stars."
Nick Clark

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 01:32:31 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.60

In the recent past, I have consistently come to No Shame 
extremely tired and worn-out, and as a result have been in a 
pissy mood and simply wanted to go home about halfway through the 
show, even if the show is great.  This is a bad thing.
This past Friday I discovered something that helped me stay awake 
and attentive and excited about No Shame, even though I was even 
tireder than usual.  You should all feel very happy for me 
despite the fact that I will not tell you what it was, because it 
my secret and also is a weapon.

So it's Sunday, and I'm supposed to be studying the standard 
measure of an "ass off" for a couple a "bad-ass muthafuckin" 
tests tomorrow.  So I will instead write a brief review of the 
show on Friday.  I'm rusty at this, and I don't have the actual 
ORDER to work with, but you will read it all and love it.

1. JP:  Customer Service
I did not like this.  The material was dull, and rather what I'd 
expect from a first timer relating events that s/he found 
humorous at work (in this case, NCS) (see also #7).  Also, the 
shirt sticking through the fly: might have worked had the 
character been crafted in such a way as to make the juxtaposition 
of character/goofy physical pants gag ludicrous and funny.  
Instead it just seemed dumb.  And the delivery was also bad.  
Like he didn't really know what he saying.  I wouldn't have 
minded this if the content had not bored me.  One last thing:  
this fella did a mono he called "Pick up Sticks."  Upon looking 
at the order archives, I discovered that such a piece was done by 
a guy with the same JP name on April 11, 1997.  What's up with 
that?  April 11is my ex-girlfriend's birthday.  This be some 
mighty evil "coincidence."  I now fear this man.

2.  M. Cassady: Stubble wears no Underpants for this Monologue
I did like this.  Mostly.  Some of was sorta expected, but there 
were some nice moments (i.e., I been tryin ta carve a baby outta 
[wife's name's] belly w/ my wiener; also, Ben Shmidt being a 
horse and not doing a damn thing for 5 mins.)  Delivery was a bit 
tried, but when everything came together in beautiful harmony is 
was very much fun.

2.5. R. Stangl: I love Jar Jar on my couch of Psychiatry
It was short, and yet not short enough.  What I mean by this is 
that the delivery was rather slow, while the jokes were quick.  
Result: it was only good when it could have been super fun 
better.

3. Deeter?:  Sexy Pants and why you Love Them
Very much reminded me of No Shame when I first started attending 
oh so long ago.  Pieces like this were indeed prevalent.  The 
concept was not so great, but the writing was not so bad.  And 
the freakishly bizarre delivery was wonderful.  I liked with my 
loving.

4.  Nozebone the Band:  Why we love Liz Phair
It is my belief that this was one song, as opposed to two.  I 
liked the second half better then the first, but this may have 
been solely because people stopped laughing about then and I 
could understand the words.  More fun from Nozebone and I love 
it.  Not as great as "I wanna be a Rock n' Roll band," but very 
good.

5.  A. Clarke:  I love sequins and my daughter is lesbian, but 
I'm not, and also I am a Jew
I did like this, but as far Clarke goes, I felt this was not 
quite up to par.  The very gross jokes were damn funny, but 
rather than seeming like one coherent funny beast-thing, it came 
across to me as funny gross jokes connected by non-so-funny lulls 
used in order to advance the story.  Smooth delivery.  Yes.

6. A. Bowman:  Mike Cassady wears a cowboy Hat
Mad-cap hilarity.  This was great.  Bowman's work has been 
getting increasingly funny and I have, at this point, stopped 
wondering just how her sketches will be.  I confidently sit back 
and await the fun.  I can't resist mentioning, however, that it 
was a weird feeling for me to witness such crazy hijinx from 
Bowman and see Jamal sitting out completely, like the two had 
switched roles.  I do NOT mean to equate Bowman's work with that 
of River's (the pair do share a similar sense of humor, which 
rubs off on each other, I guess, but each posses her/his own 
style).

7. Boris?:  I did some telemarketing and it was Boring
If it was Boris' intention to show us just how bad his job was by 
reading an equally bad mono with equally bad delivery, then he 
did a great job.  I zoned out during this.  Writing was awkward, 
as was his reading.  "Jokes" were rather anecdotes that would be 
funny to maybe his co-workers, but not to me.  However, I want to 
make it clear that I do not discourage this sort of business at 
No Shame.  I am in full favor of a "bad" piece, even if I do not 
like it.  This is part of what makes NS so cool: anybody can do 
it, and many times, after a while, they get good at it.

8. A. Angel: Is that a cancer on your face, or are you just happy 
to see Me?
I so did not write any jokes into this.  As such, I was surprised 
when people starting laughing a lot and kept right on doing it.  
I do not think this is a bad thing.  I think it worked well, and 
worked in a way I had not expected.  I really liked the energy 
Balls and Sheila had for all the kissing, and yes, even I laughed 
a bunch when they broke out of a kiss to turn pages.  Thanks to 
the actors.

9. I am not E. A. Poe:  I am, instead, a worm man.
For all of the obvious preparation and sitting through an entire 
show like that, it made me sad that this was not better.  It was 
okay, but not new or interesting or surprising.  This fella is 
starting to remind me of Egg (in terms of writing style and 
failed physical gimmicks), and while this isn't 
god-awful-terrible, it for sure is not good.  I did like this 
joint much better than the coffee poem, and if his joint next 
week (you can be sure he'll be back) is as much better than the 
worm thing as the worm thing was better then than the coffee 
thing, then he'll do something that's actually pretty good.

10. B. Shmidt:  I sing a song for you.
M. Nepsted sez: "Ben is a very talented musician, singer, and 
     writer of songs.  
     And yet, I was bored.  The music to this song sounded almost 
     just like several other Ben songs I have heard.  So did
     the lyrics, for the most part.  It was a sweet song that I 
     would 
     listen to again if I could, but I'd like to hear something a 
     little different."  
And I feel exactly the same way.  So I'll say no more

11.  J. J. Lawson: Eat that Paste
J. Jar's writing has become increasing gross/fucking weird and I 
love it.  Highlights:  head opening up like a toothpaste tube 
cap, and the Drs. used a hole puncher 'cause they had run out of 
stories to tell other Drs. (this line here made laugh like there 
was an ant in my esophagus when I read it on paper and I do not 
understand why it did not have the same effect on the people who 
heard it out loud, esp. when there were no major problems with 
the delivery).  Good, yes.

12. N. B. Campbell:  We hang a little boy who falls in a tub of 
Acid and then the fun begins
Mike's delivery was some freezer-cool shit.  The mono itself was 
good, although a bit expected (when there's a big tub fulla LSD, 
somebody is gonna fall in).  Mike was so fucking cool I wanted to 
kiss him just for reading this.  And I won't tell you if I did or 
not.

13. Daniel?:  It's my first time here and I want to bore you with 
a mono about love and Dancing
Not especially bad, but cliched and delivered like a 
self-conscious high-school poet in front of his English class.  I 
feel about this like I felt about #7 (mostly).

14. A. Galbriath:  Love and  pneumatic Nail Gun
This is the best thing Stub. has ever written that I have ever 
seen.  Good swift reading by Balls.  I liked how the sentiment 
was added without sacrificing the crazy humor that makes Stub. 
fun to see (or have read by Balls, in this case).

15.  Alison Hetly?: It's about sex!  Really!  I'm not lying!   
_Ha!  Fooled you, didn't I?!
No, you didn't fool me.  Also, you apparently did not fool anyone 
else.  The only thing about t

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 01:34:48 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.60

12. N. B. Campbell:  We hang a little boy who falls in a tub of 
Acid and then the fun begins
Mike's delivery was some freezer-cool shit.  The mono itself was 
good, although a bit expected (when there's a big tub fulla LSD, 
somebody is gonna fall in).  Mike was so fucking cool I wanted to 
kiss him just for reading this.  And I won't tell you if I did or 
not.

13. Daniel?:  It's my first time here and I want to bore you with 
a mono about love and Dancing
Not especially bad, but cliched and delivered like a 
self-conscious high-school poet in front of his English class.  I 
feel about this like I felt about #7 (mostly).

14. A. Galbriath:  Love and  pneumatic Nail Gun
This is the best thing Stub. has ever written that I have ever 
seen.  Good swift reading by Balls.  I liked how the sentiment 
was added without sacrificing the crazy humor that makes Stub. 
fun to see (or have read by Balls, in this case).

15.  Alison Hetly?: It's about sex!  Really!  I'm not lying!   
_Ha!  Fooled you, didn't I?!
No, you didn't fool me.  Also, you apparently did not fool anyone 
else.  The only thing about this sketch that I didn't expect was 
what specifically they were talking about, and this was because I 
had somehow and for some reason convinced myself that they were 
talking about cooking.  I doubt that they'll be back ever, which 
makes me sad that the only thing they'll ever have done at NS is 
a tired clich‚, and that they didn't do it very well at that.

15. R. Stangl: How to buy a fence so that you may grow some hair
Chris Stangl, as has been mentioned by others, has a habit of 
writing very good, yet formulaic monologues every week.  It has 
become rather predictable that part of you will say "wow" to the 
current week's work, but that another part of you will, sadly, be 
just a little bit bored.  This week's TORE that expectation TO 
SHREDS.  Yes!  I have not loved a Stangl mono THIS much in a 
while.  This was simply out and out lunacy and weirdness and it 
was great.  This proves that the man does not have to sacrifice a 
good reception in order to deviate from the overtly funny, oddly 
touching, violent and poetic Stangl formula.  And while sheer 
insanity has been a trademark to some of R. S.'s previous work, 
this piece was its own.  Fresh.

And that's all I will say now.  I will be studying while you are 
doing fun things like reading this review.  So I'll now say the 
"G. B.," good-bye.

SUCKAS!!!
--Al 

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 03:04:10 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.208

While I loved this Stangl monologue like I always love a Stangl 
monologue, I would say it is mediocre compared with the others I 
have seen.  I guess I am hooked on the formula.

Time: Mon, 02-Oct-2000 04:09:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.42

Fish Tacos are wonderful things.
Y'all need to get out of Ioway sometimes.
*remembers fish tacos of yore*

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 14:10:33 GMT     IP: 209.246.88.196

Hello you noisy No Shame wankers. Gosh I miss you. I read through 
some of the posts, and sniff sniff, how I grimaced in recognition of the 
brittle, convoluted, oh-so-randy humor I used to love. Or have a regular 
relationship with.
An acquaintanceship which may soon return, as Danger Brooks has 
been making efforts to ­øsave­ñ a theatre space here in New York through 
grant-writing, for which in return they would provide, we all hope, a 
space for No Shame, New York Edition. Too much fun.
And just in case you are interested in Life of the Former No Shamers, 
Dan and I, along with Justin Prescott Rose and Jake Johnson, are living in 
a newly renovated yet thoroughly dilapidated shitwad building on 
Bushwick Ave. in Brooklyn. Dan got me a job in his theatre; I­_m a 
puppeteer for a drag-queen version of A Doll­_s House for the next 
couple months, and Justin may soon be working there as well. Too fun 
for a day job, and pays better too. The theatre is also giving us a slot in 
November to produce our own work. We­_re looking for a way to mesh 
our individual artistic passions and psychic taints into a unified evening 
of theatre.
The moral being that New York is bursting with opportunity (though it all 
seems to funnel through one­_s connection with Dan), and is thus an 
obvious destination for those with talent (Mizzer Stangl) who are 
perishing without direction like a fat goony walrus head in a fishbowl (C.! 
Marlow! Stangl!). Ha! Miss ya miss ya, Stangl! And I miss the rest of you, 
just a tiny bit more. 

-- Mose Will

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 16:17:24 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.142

You know, I've been giving this a lot of thought, and the way I 
see things, "dull" just means straight up boring and of no 
interest. "Lackluster," on the other hand, seems to imply that 
the writer has previously shown his or her writing to be of high 
quality, so we watch their work with higher-than-normal 
expectations, but that a specific piece, if described 
as "lackluster," is something of a disappointment. If we weren't 
expecting luster of some sort, we probably wouldn't comment on 
the lack of it.

I'm also kind of bored.

Mose! Hey Mose!

Balls

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 19:48:13 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.52


    Balls "Neil" Campbell, you were the last person in posession 
of "the order for last week," weren't you?
    Why you refuse to post it to this website I do not wish to 
venture a venture.
    I guess it's because your huge fat body can't haul itself 
out of its position of anal sloth and mount a keyboard with your 
fingers.
    I just got MY DRIVER PERMIT AN HOUR AGO!
              -Chris Stangl, Iowa Drunk Driver in Training!!!

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 22:29:34 GMT     IP: 63.15.134.219

Actually, I handed over the order to one Christopher Okiishi 
before I left the show Friday night.

So take that, Stangl, you penicular piece of assfilth.

Love for all,

Balls

Time: Tue, 03-Oct-2000 22:35:08 GMT     IP: 172.161.190.177

Is there a "official" order from Sept 29?

Or should I go by a "prille" clarke?


...Jeff

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 01:16:29 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:    Other funniest thing is Village Inn has a item on the menu 
:called "Fish Taco," and it doesn't appear to be a joke.
:                          -Fish Taco Stangl!

My favoritest thing ever at Gay Malone's (which is apparently what 
they used to call Malone's when it was G.A. Malone's before they 
got scared of being called that and changed the name) was their 
tuna tacos.  I used to go even all by myself to eat those there, 
and I usually don't go to restaurants to eat all by myself.  They 
were good.  But then they stopped serving tuna tacos because 
someone else must have said that was funny like Village Inn's Fish 
Tacos are funny, and they got scared of having a funny item on 
their menu so they changed that too.  And then I quit eating meat, 
eventually.

Even so, though, I bet even if I was still a carnivore I wouldn't 
have a "Fish Taco" at Village Inn.  Wouldn't really trust it.  
Sounds funny.

-Adam

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 04:28:24 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.21

Wow, Adam.  I think you win the prize for most complicated unintentional sexual metaphor
(unintentional is only a guess) to arise out 
of this odd menu-based discussion.  I was in VI this evening and saw no such item on the menu. 
But I probably wasn't looking very 
carefully.  I mean, tasty as it might be, has no menu writer ever heard the term used lewdly?  I had
always figured that it was in use 
as a lewd term since it could never actually apply to a food item.  That would be too wierd.  And
besides, who would want to eat 
something whose name was a fairly commonly used, fairly offensive lewd expression?  I guess
there are enough people out there.
Rev. Nick Lucre

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 04:42:11 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.21

Actually, if the order doesn't turn up, Al Angel's review is in better order than Aprille's.  By the
way, the Nozebone song was indeed 
two songs mooshed into one.  It's called "Co-Dependancy/Divorce Song"  and has nothing to do
with Liz Phair, except a title which 
Mark created without thinking too hard about.  But maybe when we put out an album, Liz Phair
phans will buy it by mistake.  That 
will be a good racket.  Also, Jeff, what is up with "Who's Who At NoShame"?  Also, the guy Al
calls Deeter? is, I think, Don Deeley.   
If you ever see my picture on a cereal box, that cereal will be called "Loveywugs and
Huggypuffs".
Loveywugs and Huggypuffs,
     Nick

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 05:52:45 GMT     IP: 172.134.3.219

:Also, Jeff, what is up with "Who's Who At NoShame"? 
:Loveywugs and Huggypuffs,
:
:    Nick


Yer gonna have to be a little more specific.  Is it down again or something?

Y'all all will have to let me know about any problems or dead links you find on the No Shame
webpages.  You see the site has grown to several hundred pages now, with at least a dozen or so
new and revised pages each week so sometimes it takes so long uploading the new pages (I have
a slow old computer) that I don't have time to visually verify them.

And because I have AOL (which SUCKS!) the uploader seems to randomly fukk up about every
20th page just for fun.  So it's bound to happen that from time to time pages will go missing or
links go bad or etc.

So if you ever spot an error on the website just drop an email to NoShTh@aol.com and I'll fix it
soon as I can.  (But also please be as specific as you can because I may not be able to tell "what's
up with" a page if the problem is only visible on certain browsers.)


Love,
...Jeff

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 07:17:36 GMT     IP: 152.163.194.186

Will there be No Shame Friday, November 17th? I might be coming 
up to IC that weekend, and would very much like to show everyone 
how much I've regressed as a writer in the past few months (not 
writing does that to you).

This all hinges on my still having my license at that point 
(speeding is bad, but the Illinois State Po-Lice are worse).

Anyone wanna see me in a play Oct 27-Nov 12? 

mike

PS. I never noticed "fish tacos" on the menu at VI, but in the 
Simpsons where Moe is dating that chick (voiced by Helen Hunt), 
the two of them go out ot dinner with Marge and Homer, and Moe 
orders "your finest food stuffed with your second finest food" 
which is lobster stuffed with tacos. I hope that helps.

mike (still)

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 14:35:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.191

It may be the case that there is enough difference in connotation 
between "lackluster" and "dull" that you might ought to choose 
one over the other in any sentence; however, there is not enough 
to warrant saying "it wasn't dull, it was lackluster" and 
expecting that to make sense to someone else.  For they are close 
enough in meaning that you could substitute one for the other in 
any situation without changing the meaning or interpretation of 
what you're saying.  When you read someone else's words, you 
never know exactly what is meant; there is always some range of 
indefiniteness, and that range is wide enough to include the 
difference between dull and lackluster.

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 18:36:02 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.197

Some exact titles and authors, as I remember or know them:

2) Equus 2.0 by Mike Cassady
3) Dr. Comedy's Diagnosis? Human Misery! by Chris Stangl

6) Doctor Mario! by Alyssa Bowman
7) Death of a Saleman by Boris
8) Face: A 3 Minute Play for Joanna and Joe by Al Angel

10) Next to You by Ben Schmidt
11) Walking in the Eating Paste Place by Arlen Lawson
12) Necktie Sinclair by Neil "Balls" Campbell

14) Wrap That Rascal by Aaron Galbraith

So that's pretty good, eh? Now, can we fill in all the blanks?

Can we?

                               Can we?

I am Balls

Time: Wed, 04-Oct-2000 19:57:17 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.68


2.5) "Dr. Comedy's Diagnosis? Human Misery!" by Chris Stangl

16) "The Joshuas Needed A Fence" by Chris Stangl

           You're welcome.
                  -Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Thu, 05-Oct-2000 05:35:27 GMT     IP: 64.12.105.174

Okay Okay, Lackluster and Dull are two entirely different words 
with entirely different meanings. We are clearly in an age where 
language is misused, appropriated, and used with entirely 
different intentions. If you told a rap artist that his 
girlfriend was "fat", for example you may have just complimented 
him. Not to mention the decades old confusion with "bad". Like 
saying "ice cube is bad" You might mean, in fact, "i ce cube is a 
really talented musician and I like his style". I avoid that 
confusion by saying "ice cube sucks my ass and swallows" people 
usually get the gist. However, Dull and Lackluster , although 
both expressions pertaining to the same metaphor, have 
connotation that are both seperate and distinct. Dull refers to, 
in this case, a skit that fails to grab ones attention or is 
boring. Lackluster, although technically a synonym when speaking 
of polished jewelry or lapidary items, refers to , (again, in the 
case of no shame) a lack of polish or proficiency with the medium-
-a whimpy voice, bad diction, bad writing, no commitment to the 
character, any number of things, really.  A performance that is 
lackluster may result in a dull piece, but other things may make 
a piece dull as well. It could be too well rehearsed, something 
we've heard already. Topically uninteresting, although well 
rehearsed and written. This, I believe is the difference. 

I will end with an example. "This posting, although not 
lackluster, is extremely DULL."

And so I go, 


Ben 

Time: Thu, 05-Oct-2000 23:34:00 GMT     IP: 205.188.196.43

: Okay Okay, Lackluster and Dull are two entirely different words 
with entirely different meanings. 

No.  They are two nearly entirely identical words with slightly 
different connotations.

: However, Dull and Lackluster , although 
: both expressions pertaining to the same metaphor, have 
: connotation that are both seperate and distinct. 

No. The separate connotations of these words are quite indistinct.

: Dull refers to, 
: in this case, a skit that fails to grab ones attention or is 
: boring. Lackluster, although technically a synonym when 
speaking 
: of polished jewelry or lapidary items, 

It is also technically a synonym when refering to a performance.

: refers to , (again, in the 
: case of no shame) a lack of polish or proficiency with the 
medium-
: -a whimpy voice, bad diction, bad writing, no commitment to the 
: character, any number of things, really.  

Yes, any number of things, really.  Including dull.  Perhaps I 
thought a piece was dull but use "lackluster" as a slightly 
gentler way of saying that.  I might use lackluster to mean none 
of the things you mention, but simply lacking energy.  But I 
would never use lackluster to refer to a lack of polish, a wimpy 
voice, or bad diction, and would never understand these things to 
be meant if you said it to me.  It does not connote these things 
to me.  You are projecting your own connotations onto the words 
themselves, but they do not exist for others.  Some connotations 
are common to most people, but all of the are fuzzy.  Saying "it 
wasn't dull, it was lackluster" is about like saying "it wasn't 
off-white, it was eggshell."  The two words have slightly 
different but largely overlapping and indistinct meanings, and to 
use them in such a construction communicates NOTHING.

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 04:42:21 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.169

is anyone else sick and tired of reading this tedious semantics debate?

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 05:22:46 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.58

:is anyone else sick and tired of reading this tedious semantics 
debate?
:

No! Just _your_ butt-ass butt, dingle-face! "Pee" "Hole"

Love,
Your Best Friend Jamal Areli Jamal Rivers

Lackluster 4 ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Can I call you? 

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 17:58:41 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.46

:Lackluster and Dull are two entirely different words 
:with entirely different meanings.

     Why does any reputable thesaurus list them as synonyms, 
then?  Also many a disreputable thesaurus.

:We are clearly in an age where language is misused, 
:appropriated, and used with entirely different intentions.

    "An age"?  That's how language works, and how it always 
worked.  It's shifty, it's not fixed.  It evolves.  That's why we 
need new dictionaries all the time.  That's why there's such a 
thing as the OED, which, go figure, traces the kalidoscopic strob-
o-scope of Words. It's not "misuse," it's how we get "uses" in 
the first place.

:If you told a rap artist that his girlfriend was "fat", for 
:example you may have just complimented him.

    By "rap artist," you meant "black person," right?
    Probably not, anyway. "Phat," yes. And does anybody call 
people phat? Maybe he's got a phat beat, but probably I wouldn't 
call his woman phat.

:Not to mention the decades old confusion with "bad". Like saying 
:"ice cube is bad" You might mean, in fact, "ice cube is a 
:really talented musician and I like his style"

    You might mean that.  You probably more specifically mean 
that style is hard and dangerous, esp. funky or not to be fucked 
with.  James Brown is Superbad, as it Bad Ass.  As in Beats 
Women. This is why people laughed at that Michael Jackson song, 
and why someone who likes Barenaked Ladies or some shit probably 
wouldn't say that they're "bad."

:Lackluster...a lack of polish or proficiency with the medium

    Fine if you say "lackluster proficiency with the medium."  
Obviously "lackluster" and "lack of proficiency with medium" 
aren't synonymous.
    "This piece was lackluster," "this piece was dull" they mean 
EXACTLY the same thing: NOTHING.  They are just totally empty and 
useless as a criticism, about on par with "this was good."  
"Lackluster" WHAT? "Dull" WHAT? "Good" WHAT? "Lackluster ENERGY 
IN DELIVERY" or "lackluster characterization," "lusterless use of 
space"?
    You all fuck my ass.

         -Chris Your Stangl

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 20:30:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.156

:is anyone else sick and tired of reading this tedious semantics 
debate?
:

   I think it's one of the cutest debates ever to spring up on 
this site.  Tired of reading it?  How could you be tired of 
reading it?  Isn't the fact that it IS tedious what makes it so 
much fun?
   I think so.
   I think so.

             Arlen Lawson

P.S.  I am talking about the Lackluster vs. Dull debate.

Time: Fri, 06-Oct-2000 23:40:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.237

   No Stangl review?
   No Shame  review by one
Chris Stangl
         appears to be missing.
                    I, for one, enjoy to read it
    Will it show up at all?


                       Arlen

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 00:00:46 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.105


    "This piece was lackluster," "this piece was dull" they mean 
:
EXACTLY the same thing: NOTHING.  

Are you denying the relevance of all adjectives or just these 
two? Do not be such absurdist. While it is true that many a hip-e 
will tell you that words don't mean anything, as far we're 
concerned in this debate, I would suggest that "this piece was 
dull" does mean something a li'l different from, say, "this piece 
was horrific" or "this piece was irritating". To say "dull" and 
"lackylusty" are interchangeable is one thing, to say they denote 
nothing at all is another thing entirely. No one ever said they 
were masterful critiques in and of themselves, that is not what 
we are talking about, Pook Mann! Stay on the ball! Watch that 
ball! Watch it!

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 04:26:47 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.176

Jamal, lackluster and lack of polish are very different when 
we're talking about performances, though they mean the same thing 
literally.  So different that too much polish can result in 
lacking luster, and something totally not lackluster could have 
no polish whatsoever.  Al Gore is the most polished speaker to 
ever LIVE, and yet "lackluster" is something most people would 
say he is.  

Chris?  Everyone fucks your ass?  I'VE never fucked your ass.  
When is it my turn, Chris?  How come everyone else gets to fuck 
your ass?  I'm hurt.

If it bores you, then why are you still reading it?  Skip the 
posts.  Fucker.

Strapped upon,
Merideth

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 18:20:50 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.41

Last week the for real order was never posted.

Perhaps it will be this week, but just in the cases it dodntnt', 
here is my quick take on it, for your reviewing and discussing 
preaaaaaaaassture.

All of this stems from my beautiful photogenic memory-brain.

1. Jamal River:  A skit about Toby and Hastapasta.  
Featuring the little men who live in one's eyes and tourette's.

2. Al Angel:  "Music is like my butthole, large and in charge, by 
Kyle Lang"
A song really called "I like you a lot."  Played while wearing a 
sick-ass g'n'f'n'r shirt.  W/o sleeves, of course.

3.Adam Burton and Chris Okishi: How I become the president of a 
company
A man goes in for an interview, and by waiting an oh so very long 
time manages to end up running the company.

4. Alyssa Bowman:  The death of Bill Murry.
Skit about how a fella kills bill murry, who turns out to be a 
dog.  Violence!

5. Nickbone the not-nozebone the band:  "Honey-bee"
A song by Nick Clark about picnicking and bees.  Sung by Nick and 
Ryan Greenlaw.

5.5. Something Sly and Another Guy:  Something about improv.
Two guys slap the shit out of each other to the squealing delight 
of the audience.  For real.

6. Aprille Clarke:  I'll cut that baby right outta you.
Monologue with detailed references to the act of cutting up 
pregnant women in what sounded to me like a not-very-surgical 
fashion.  But then, I'm not a doctor.  Chris?

7. Some guy and Gryphn: A sketch about a date
A sketch about a date.  And then one of the guys "breaks 
character" and tries to convince the other to come out.  
Metatheatrically ensues and they leave and miss out on the rest 
of the show.

8. Ben Schmidt:  "Passion"
A funky song about fucking.

9. Ryan Greenlaw:  Driving in an oven.
A stand-up comedy-type monologue delivered with classic Greenlaw 
flare.  References to an automobile made out of a for real 
working oven and a fight for the title of the prettiest person.

10.  Mike Cassady:  My mother is a whore and my dog is dead
Jar Jar Lawson reads a monologue about the two subject mentioned 
in the above title.

11. Chris Okishi:  A response to a play in New York.
Monologue about the joy of human contact and the attempt to make 
the world beautiful in the moments before one's death.

11.5 R. Stangl:  A Comedy Skit
A raucous skit feature not only the term, but the actual on stage 
representation of the term "ball fight"

12. Balls Campell:  Warner Bros., 1941.
Cary Grant refuses to play Sgt. Yorke in favor of dressing in 
drag.  Also everyone engages in lots of "dick sex"

13. ___ Rust:  My friends
A mono about how cool his friends are, and how they are like 
movie stars.

14. Julia Wilder:  Roman Expositions: The quiet sunset cooling 
over Caesar's Last Breaths
Julia Wilder is better than you because she knows Latin.  Also, 
she spits in Aprille Clarke's drink, who subsequently throws said 
drink all over poor Julia.

15. R. S. T. Covax:  Confessions of a child-molesting alcoholic.
Man tells woman about all the beer he has and all the ways one 
can drink it.  Woman tells Man she'd like to go to the bathroom 
(or "washroom" in Canada)

16. R. Stangl:  Circus Fun
Monologue from the standpoint of a father whose son, "Chris," 
loves Circus Fun cereal; a relationship that drives the father 
"up" a wall of some sort.

Also, there was a skit that didn't get performed because the guy 
had to work.  I believe the name was "Brokken," which is eerily 
like the name of a guy I work with.  I hope I'm wrong, it would 
be a freaky-ass coincidence.

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 20:59:20 GMT     IP: 64.152.172.130


Okay, because I'm a jerk, and a jerk with an English degree all 
of a sudden at that:
"Lackluster" necessarily implies the existence of a creating 
entity, whereas "dull" may or may not imply the existence of such 
an entity. For example, the current semantics debate has made the 
message board extremely dull, but one would not say that it has 
made it lackluster, as there is no singular creative entity 
behind the board.
Paint drying is dull. Dry paint in the form of a half-assed 
Jasper Johns picture is lackluster.

Also, New York is great, and all those not currently involved 
with going to school/raising kids/being some sort of adult should 
move out here immediat

Time: Sat, 07-Oct-2000 22:42:34 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.57


"Lackluster" necessarily implies the existence of a creating 
:
entity, whereas "dull" may or may not imply the existence of such 
:
an entity. 

Well that makes sense, but it doesn't totally clear this up for 
me. Assuming that we're using these words in situations where 
they would both be legitimate adjectives (i.e, situations 
regarding creative entities and the stuffs they've created), do 
the two words then, to you and your English degree, denote the 
same thing? (If a feller's performance was lackluster, was it 
necessarily dull as well- blah blah blah, you've heard it...) I'm 
saying: is the only difference between these words the context in 
which they would be appropriate, or are there further differences 
in meaning as well? Dan, please say... Please please and thank 
you!

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 01:13:09 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.68

:1. Jamal River:  A skit about Toby and Hastapasta.  
:Featuring the little men who live in one's eyes and tourette's.
:
this was funny in the same way that all those random sketches are 
funny.  it was funny. i laughed.  i like laughing.  but with the 
exception of the memorable part where Jamal's character saw his 
reflection in Neil's character's eyes and poked them, this one 
didn't thrill me beyond the usual laughter.

:2. Al Angel:  "Music is like my butthole, large and in charge, by 
:Kyle Lang"  Pretty good song.  i used to always get bored in songs 
but i don't anymore.  i like them.  my favorite part was the blue-
spotted underwear.  i also enjoyed the semi-falsetto Al sang in.
:
:3.Adam Burton and Chris Okishi: How I become the president of a 
:company
cool concept, and from what I discussed with them later, it had an 
interesting spirit of cooperation in how it was written.  unusual 
subject matter and well-executed.
:
:4. Alyssa Bowman:  The death of Bill Murry.
Alyssa obviously lives with Chris and Jamal.  this influence is 
apparent in her absurdist writing style, which is cool.  i'm glad 
she's writing for real instead of just donating her name like the 
old days.  and i guess, while it's not really my favorite style, 
the absurdist humor adds to the variety, without which No Shame 
would be full of boring monologues and bad shit.  so good shit is 
good.  good Alyssa.  good butt.

:5. Nickbone the not-nozebone the band:  "Honey-bee"
i loved the vocal duet.  i suspect it was rehearsed more than one 
might guess, because they had the timing right on most of the time 
and sang pretty much in unison.  nozebone-almost is cool.  nozebone 
is almost cool.  but whoever said ryan is fat is mean.  i think it 
was chris.
:
:5.5. Something Sly and Another Guy: the slapping thing
definitely fresh.  i was a little horrified, but that's why i go to 
No Shame, to be horrified in a good way.  i was horrified in a bad 
way by a couple of other pieces, so this one didn't bother me, 
although rumor has it it really bothered some other people.  i 
meant "fresh" in the sense that it was original and unpredictable, 
not like the Fresh Prince.  i didn't need the guy with his pants 
down, though.  i don't need most guys with their pants down.
:
:6. Aprille Clarke:  Why I Hate the French and All Doctors Except 
Chris Okiishi
my monologue...and i fear my monologues are getting formulaic.  oh 
well.  i have an absurdist sketch i'm working on for some time in 
the next few weeks.

:7. Some guy and Gryphn: the date thing with the tape recorder and 
the metatheatricality.  i didn't really believe it, and i'm getting 
tired of this metatheater stuff anyway.  some funny lines, but the 
technology didn't work too well.  better than that pants thing, 
though.
:
:8. Ben Schmidt:  "Passion"
hot.  no other way to describe it.  someone once complained in my 
presence that Ben always does songs that seem to be an attempt to 
get him laid.  so what?  rawr.

:9. Ryan Greenlaw:  Driving in an oven.
funny.  Ryan is the funniest guy ever.  i've seen him do better 
stuff...and this might be funnier for someone who wasn't familiar 
with him and his whole...way of being.  but it was good anyway.  
the whole thing about arguing over who was prettier caught me off 
guard and made me laugh.  good lines, good delivery.  some time 
i'll tell you a true story about which non-human animal Ryan would 
most like to have sex with and why.
:
:10.  Mike Cassady: the one Arlen did with the spice girls lunch 
box.  mike's mom is very understanding of her son's art, i think.  
funny and gross and good.  i wondered why the tampon was so clean, 
though, if it had been found in a vagina.  and i wondered why it 
was still in its applicator.
:
:11. Chris Okishi:  complex monologue about being a human, being a 
gay human, being a beaten up human.  since i don't know exactly 
what he was responding to or exactly how he was doing it, i don't 
know how much to credit him with, but the piece was great.  the 
character was really well-established, and i enjoyed his roundabout 
way of getting to the plot points.  well-written and good concept, 
even if he lifted it.
:
:11.5 R. Stangl:  A Comedy Skit  "ball fight"
my favorite part was when, after the ball fight, they looked at 
each other with expressions that said "i'm sorry."  

:12. Balls Campell:  Warner Bros., 1941.
a character monologue...great energy, even if the old studio guy 
reminiscing about old movies has been done (and Balls knows this 
and acknowledged it).  maybe it's just something everybody has to 
do at some point.  hey, next week everybody write one, ok?  yeah!
:
:13. ___ Rust:  My friends
:this didn't really...go anywhere, did it?  i mean, it was ok...his 
delivery was rather charming and i enjoyed his big nose, but it got 
a little tedious because he was neither making any points nor 
saying anything really funny.  but he was a first-timer, right?  he 
showed potential.  he was better than a lot of first-timers.  and 
his piece was double-spaced so the pages went rather fast.
:
:14. Julia Wilder:  Roman Expositions: The quiet sunset cooling 
:over Caesar's Last Breaths
couldn't stand it.  self-indulgent, delivered in a style that 
annoyed me, neither funny nor insightful.  if i'm going to listen 
to a monologue on a topic i don't especially care about (actually, 
that's not true...i sort of am interested in Latin, but this piece 
actually had the effect of making me uninterested in a topic i sort 
of like), it's going to have to be delivered and written well.

:15. R. S. T. Covax:  the beer thing
obvious punchline.  the delivery on the part of the bartender was 
kind of funny, but the girl's acting was so bad i had trouble 
focusing on what he was saying.  this was a one-gag piece that 
should have ended way sooner.
:
:16. R. Stangl:  Circus Fun
sweet and tender, which is refreshing after last week's bag of AIDS 
thing.  great imagery, including the menstrual stuff, which i 
always enjoy.  the menstrual stuff (and the gory mouth stuff) kept 
it from getting sickeningly sweet (though it may, in fact, have 
been sickening for people with delicate dispositions).

good week, overall.  low percentage of clunkers.

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 02:55:20 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

My birthday, no less, and I foolishly thought I'd already posted 
this, but clearly I did not!  Sorrows all around.

1)    Customer Service by JP Claussen
2)    Equus 2.0 by Mike Cassady
2.5)  Dr. Comedy's Diagnosis?  Human Misery! by Chris Stangl
3)    Arron by Don Deeley
4)    Co-Dependent/Divorce Song by Nozebone "Liz Phair" the Band
5)    Taco-Snacking, Basic Cable Version by Aprille Clarke
6)    Doctor Mario by Alyssa Bowman
7)    The Death of a Salesman by Boris
8)    FACE: A 3-Minute Play for Joanna and Her Friend by Al Angel
9)    The Miserable Tale of Duct Tape Man by rom Kovacs
10)   Next to You by Ben Schmidt
11)   Walking in the Eating Paste Place by Arlen Lawson
12)   Necktie Sinclair by Neil "Balls" Campbell
13)   Facing My Fears by Daniel Andrlik
14)   Wrap that Rascal by Aaron Galbraith
15)   Getting it On" by Allison Hetley and Beth Meiers
16)   The Joshuas Needed a Fence by Chris Stangl

Again, sorry, sorry, soooo sorry for being late...

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 03:06:25 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

Here we go:

1)  "Hammin'" It Up on A Side of "Wry"ness by Jamal River
2)  Music is Like My Butt-Hole:  Large and in Charge by Kyle 
Lang.  A Song by Al Angel
3)  Advancement by Entropy by Adam Burton and Chris Okiishi
4)  James Pond by Alyssa Bowman
5)  Honeybee by Almost Nozebone the Band
5.5) Did You Know That It Is Homecoming Weekend? by Steven Slye 
and Ben Heinen
6)  Why I Hate the French and All Doctors Except Chris Okiishi 
by Aprille Clarke
7)  Two Gentlemen of Twelth Night by Spencer Griffin
8)  Passion by Ben
8.5) Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw
9)  This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady
10) Faithless:  A Response to Neil LaBute's A Gaggle of Saints 
by Christopher Okiishi
11) How to Rool a Joint by Joe Brokken  (NOT PERFORMED!!!)
11.5) The Fight by Chris Stangl
12) Cary and Me by Neil "Balls" Campbell
13) All My Friends Have Been on Covers of Entertainment Weekly 
by Paul Rust
14) I'll Take Spartacus Over Gladiator Any Day by Julia Wilder
15) A Short Draft About BEER by Thomas Kovacs
16) Circus Fun by Chris Stangl (for Dad)

Discuss...oh, you already are...

Time: Sun, 08-Oct-2000 04:09:39 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

I haven't done a review for a while, so I thought I take a stab 
at it.

1)  "Hammin'" It Up on A Side of "Wry"ness by Jamal River
2)  Music is Like My Butt-Hole:  Large and in Charge by Kyle 
Lang.  A Song by Al Angel
3)  Advancement by Entropy by Adam Burton and Chris Okiishi
4)  James Pond by Alyssa Bowman
5)  Honeybee by Almost Nozebone the Band

Sadly, I had to work and missed all of these.  I did get to read 
them, though, and if they worked as intended, then, bravo!  
(Personal aside--it was cool working with Adam again, and I wish 
I could have heard him do the piece.)

5.5) Did You Know That It Is Homecoming Weekend? by Steven Slye 
and Ben Heinen

This was some pretty good slapping and punching.  Marred only by 
vague lighting cues which hamstrung poor Kerry Lane, and made 
the piece fizzle where it should have popped.  I was so 
enthralled that I didn't notice that the sign guy turned over 
his sign to reveal something--anyone get it?

6)  Why I Hate the French and All Doctors Except Chris Okiishi 
by Aprille Clarke

So pleased to be not hated.  And, no, Aprille, your monologues, 
in my opinion, are not getting formulaic at all.  I really got 
into this one, a more steady slow burn satire rather than a 
quick change-up.  Especially solid delivery made it go over 
particularly well.

7)  Two Gentlemen of Twelfth Night by Spencer Griffin

I was in the light booth for this one, and I worried when, on 
the last page, they made a sudden departure from the script.  I 
was enjoying the voice-over stuff, as clearly was the audience.  
Nothing ground-breaking, but some nice work.  Then, they had to 
get all "Teatro Obscuro" on us.  And, it didn't work, IMHO.  
Went on too long, the actors didn't seem to be relating, which 
may just mean it was under-rehearsed, but it pretty much fell 
apart.  AND not warning the light op of their plans undid them 
as well.  Rather than leaving the audience uncomfortable with 
having witnessed an outpouring of raw emotion, we were instead 
just left embarrassed for them.  Not the intended effect, I'll 
bet.  Too bad.

8)  Passion by Ben

As if responding to criticism that his songs were "sounding the 
same", he pulls out this harder-rocking gem.  I couldn't hear 
the lyrics too well, but the energy was palpable and, as Aprille 
aptly noted, pretty arousing.  

8.5) Jumpin' Jack Flash Has Gas, Gas, Gas by Ryan Greenlaw

Well delivered and blessedly short.  Every time I cross a long 
bridge, I imagine it's the opening or closing credits to some 
film, and crank the stereo really loud, so I really dug the 
central image of this piece.  I'm not usually making eggs 
though.  

9)  This Monologue Does Not Love You by Mike Cassady

Somehow, Mike managed to meld his voice to Stangl's, yet still 
fit Arlen's cadences to a "t".  The dog named "Spice-Girls Lunch 
Box" nearly made me pee.

10) Faithless:  A Response to Neil LaBute's A Gaggle of Saints 
by Christopher Okiishi

A note of clarification--in LaBute's "Bash", there is a story of 
three young men who wander away from a formal party at the plaza 
and end up killing a random gay man.  I wanted to know more 
about the victim, so I switched the perspective, gave him a back 
story, and tried to play on similar themes of family, love and 
safety.  The looking at the moon, the basic mechanics of the 
beating, and the assailants in tuxedos were borrowed.  The rest 
was pretty much mine.  Try to catch the original on Showtime to 
see Paul Rudd, Calista Flockhart and Ron Ellard give amazing 
life to some brutal work, much different from his more 
recent "Nurse Betty."    

11) How to Rool a Joint by Joe Brokken  (NOT PERFORMED!!!)

Someone said something about this being "the pizza delivery 
guy".  I didn't understand--could someone explain??

11.5) The Fight by Chris Stangl

Cute.  Quick.  Reminiscent of an older piece in which Adam and 
some other guy put a wrestling match in the middle of one of 
their pieces, with the winner not clearly defined ahead of 
time.  (By reminiscent I mean "reminded me of" not "clearly 
plagiarized from", by the way, lest I be misconstrued.)  Nice 
closing image of the abandoned friend alone on the stage.  

12) Cary and Me by Neil "Balls" Campbell

Neil does the Judy Garland monolog, and it still works!  The 
similarities in character were evident, but Stangl's version was 
more bitter, whilst Campbell's more sexual.  Either way, seen as 
an homage, a riff, or a parallel, I laughed a whole bunch, 
enjoyed Neil's signature physicality, and remembered why I liked 
the Chris' earlier piece so much.  The underbelly of the 
Hollywood Golden Era is too large a target for just one author.

13) All My Friends Have Been on Covers of Entertainment Weekly 
by Paul Rust

I thought this was just terrific--a little long by about one 
famous-looking friend, but delivered with energy, style (did you 
see those page turns???) and wit to spare.  Strongest debut in a 
while.  WRITE MORE!

14) I'll Take Spartacus Over Gladiator Any Day by Julia Wilder

The problem is this--Ms. Wilder clearly is enjoying her pieces 
better than we are, IMHO.  She has a lot to say, some 
interesting specific information, some clever ideas, so why 
doesn't it work?  For me, it's the off-putting delivery, the I'm-
too-clever-by-half tone that keeps me wholly disengaged from her 
piece.  Also, her ad-libed asides add nothing but to betray her 
contempt for, or at least her need to feel superior to the 
audience.  The is made evident in the last line of her piece--"I 
can laugh at everyone!"  Maybe so, but you're laughing alone.  

She is not an talent-free author.  On the page, her stuff reads 
better.  If she were to ask my opinion, which she did not, I 
would just ask her to PLEASE write something she really knows, 
rather than something she has studied.  Open up.  Be vulnerable 
in English next time.  And, though I tread well into hypocrisy 
here, be shorter.  

15) A Short Draft About BEER by Thomas Kovacs

Needed to be restaged, thought I.  Less acting from the woman, 
and more focus on the guy, who did a nice delivery of the litany 
of beer products, which could have been shorter and still made 
the point.  Didn't hate it.  Keep writing.  

16) Circus Fun by Chris Stangl (for Dad)

A prime example of less is more.  So hard to do "weary" well, 
but Chris made it look easy.  (Okay, so maybe after Julia's 
Latin marathon, he had no other choice...)  About halfway 
through, I realized who was who in the piece, and it kinda made 
me sad thinking about young Chris inadvertently making his dad's 
life hell.  So much compassion for the father--so rare in 
writing by children.  I was transfixed and didn't want it to 
end.  More so even than usual, this was a perfect capper to the 
night.  Thank you.  I went home and wrote a e-mail to my dad.

Time: Mon, 09-Oct-2000 14:18:47 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.129

Excellent No Shame!
I've not been in far too long and thought it was both tasty and 
good.  Nice job all!
Just a brief commentary on a few particulars:
Highs:
Ben's fantastic song (duh)
Paul Rust's No Shame debut (bravo!!!)
Ryan Greenlaw's Oven story - dig!  More!
Chris Okiishi's Faithless
And foremostly, I enjoyed Advancement in Entropy - it was like a 
bundle of the movies Office Space and the Hudsucker Proxy, 
combined with probable real-life experience (*bucough, Adam, heh*) 
which I could identify with all too well.  Damn world of post-its 
and file folders!

Lows:
I always cringe when anyone brings a boombox on stage, and it 
appears for good reason.  It's just never a good idea, seemingly. 
 The two fellas/ guy and gal on a date just kinda flopped.  As 
noted, some nice lines...but waaay too long, predictable and...
um, why the tape recorder?  Just speak as an aside and save the 
trouble, I vote.
 
I also always universally cringe when someone lights a candle, and 
 my did that fear prove to be justified.  Firstly and foremostly, 
Gladiator was fantastic.  Sure, it ain't no Spartacus, but that's 
no reason to rip it.  That off my chest, yikes.  Way too long.  
Let me repeat, way too long.  And as Chris pointed out, there's 
just a sense of the performer thinking she's better than 
everyone...and proving herself incorrect that makes one want to 
squirm out of one's seat.  This seems like material that may go 
over decently on a page...but not on a stage.  In the end, it was 
one of the least tolerable No Shame sketches I've ever seen to be 
perfectly honest.  I felt as though the performer had no concept 
of whether the audience was interested/ entertained by her piece, 
as though it was only important that she was entertained by it.
 
And finally, that Beer sketch.  The punchline was clear from circa 
20 seconds into the piece, and when finally delivered caused a 
knee-jerk "Booooo!" from me for the first time in my No Shame 
career.  Not horribly performed, but perhaps poorly conceived, 
there are better, shorter, wiser ways to do pieces like this 'un.


And that's my lengthy write-up for what was actually a really 
great show.  Aside from the three I ranted about, nothing too 
long, too lame, or too dippy. Not half bad for 2 hours of 
material, I tells ya.  
Good No Shame, yis!

-GM

Time: Mon, 09-Oct-2000 14:19:42 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Why has Ms. Ahrendt chosen to abandon us??!!  When will she be 
back??!!

Time: Mon, 09-Oct-2000 15:10:23 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Speaking of abandonment fears, SO NICE to have Mr. Mitchell back! 
I could hear his curly, warm inflections riddling his post and it 
made me all a-tingle.  Like smelling your grandfather's pipe 
smoke or hearing that Olivia Newton-John song from Junior High--I 
was taken back to a sweet and alarming place.  Thank you, Greg.

NOW WRITE SOMETHING!  

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 01:08:17 GMT     IP: 63.210.218.75


Well, that's a damned good question, Jamal. I'm inclined to say 
that the only real difference between the words is the context in 
which they're appropriate -- like "hot" and "loud" are synonymns 
when referring to microphones, but not true synonymns because they 
don't mean the same thing in every context. Of course, by that 
definition, almost no English words I can think of are true 
synonyms. Although I can only think of seven English words right 
now, so that might not stovepipe running bucket winelist boss 
hairball poonta

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 01:15:06 GMT     IP: 63.210.218.75


I promise not to be one of those old burnt-out losers who spooks 
around the various No Shame forums, but I was perusing the order 
to take my mind off being an old, burnt-out loser and I just want 
to point out that Spencer Griffin went to my high school, which is 
Valley High School, which is about the most miserable place you 
can possibly go to high school in the world, except for maybe the 
barbed-wire-and-metal-detectors high school down the street from 
wher I live now.
That is a

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 01:20:18 GMT     IP: 63.210.218.75


Okay, now I clearly am the aforementioned creepy loser guy. But 
let me keep reminiscing for a second.

Says Chris:
12) Cary and Me by Neil "Balls" Campbell

Neil does the Judy Garland monolog, and it still works!  The 
similarities in character were evident, but Stangl's version was 
more bitter, whilst Campbell's more sexual.  Either way, seen as 
an homage, a riff, or a parallel, I laughed a whole bunch, 
enjoyed Neil's signature physicality, and remembered why I liked 
the Chris' earlier piece so much.  The underbelly of the 
Hollywood Golden Era is too large a target for just one author.

Check out "Young Jacob Schreck's Inheritance: A Brutal Piece for 
Bad People" in the archives from my sophomore year. My version was 
not as good as Chris's, and I suspect not as good as Neil's.

That's the last one. I promise.

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 02:54:59 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.150

Actually, before Dan pointed it out himself, I meant to post 
something saying that lest we forget, I not only ripped off 
Stangl's Judy Garland piece, but Dan's Jacob Schreck piece as 
well (which I have read in the past).

Or was it an homage? Or a riff?

Anyway, mucho props to Dan and Stangl for their inspiration, 
because I definitely took the premise from them, but I believe 
that's where the similarites end. The actual "plots" in each of 
these pieces varied wildly--only on the most basic level did they 
share anything in common. And I was passionate enough about what 
I was writing (and believed that it had an originality all its 
own) to write and perform it despite knowing that the obvious 
comparisons to Dan and Stangl's past work would be made. If that 
says anything.

Agree? Disagree? Lance a white gorilla through the heart?

I am a bear in a cave.

Balls-Sack  

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 02:59:47 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.150

ALSO...

Don't forget, the Iowa City Gazette is publishing an article 
about No Shame this Friday, October the Friday the 13th. Spooky, 
eh?  So go ahead and buy a copy or few. Who knows what wacky 
photos will be included?  Maybe you or me!

Ha ha ha!

Balls 

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 14:48:06 GMT     IP: 130.91.24.47

 
:And as Chris pointed out, there's 
:just a sense of the performer thinking she's better than 
:everyone...and proving herself incorrect that makes one want to 
:squirm out of one's seat.  This seems like material that may go 
:over decently on a page...but not on a stage.  In the end, it was 
:one of the least tolerable No Shame sketches I've ever seen to be 
:perfectly honest.  I felt as though the performer had no concept 
:of whether the audience was interested/ entertained by her piece, 
:as though it was only important that she was entertained by it.

Didn't see last week's show, but the descriptions of this piece 
make me want to write a monologue for this kind of character.  She 
should be a recurring character--showing up in lots of pieces by 
different people.

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 18:15:32 GMT     IP: 216.248.77.2

If any of you guys know who rocks, please tell me....If you do, 
I'll give you head

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 20:04:14 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.110

:ripped off Stangl's Judy Garland piece, Dan's Jacob Schreck piece

     ...and "A Mickey Mouse Cartoon," by me, which was, again, 
the same set-up in more hateful drag.

:Or was it an homage? Or a riff?

     More like "new piece." My personal pedigree/ official line 
says that I hadn't seen "Schreck" (I wasn't attending regularly 
at the time) nor read it before writing "Judy Garland is Dead," 
but that I was ripping of D.P. "Double Penetration" Brooks simply 
in the general sense.  My brains claimed to be inspired by:
    1): Kenneth Anger's must-read-for-all-queer-youth "Hollywood 
Babylon," which will show you naked pictures of Jean Harlow, 
details of R. Valentino's lesbian wives and a photo captioned 
"Jayne Mansfield's dead dog."  My first-English-edition, needless 
to say, is much beloved by me.
    2): That episode of "Ren And Stimpy" where "Walter Cobb," a 
disintegrating animation baron waxes nonsensical about the olden 
days.

     Balls, you make up a new character, slanted the structure in 
shifty new ways, introduced valuable phrase "lots of messy dick-
sex" to household usage, created new framing devices, blah blah, 
all to the point that: a new piece, fresh enough to please me, 
and that is all that matters, right? Pleasing me?

        -Rev. Chris Stangl, lusterlacker

Time: Tue, 10-Oct-2000 21:52:11 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.110

A Review of 10-whatever-2000 While I Simultaneously Play "Super 
Mario World"
Rev. C. Stangl

1) River "'Hammin'' It Up"
I was excited to see this had real Jokes and a semblance of a 
Premise, but still written in that idiot man-child style that 
makes dreadful things like comedy sketches tolerable. No "belly 
laughs," but many "screaming laughs," which I actually prefer.

1) Angel "Music is Like My Butt-Hole"
Kind of long for a song that doesn't develop past single cycle.  
Voice and guitar were nice once warmed up, but this droned, and 
I couldn't put the lyrics together for whatever reason, possibly 
the droning.

1) Okiishi/Burton "Advancement"
Er, this was a "Seinfeld" episode, Adam Burton as non-frenzied 
Kramer variation being trapped-in-office-building angle from 
"Gremlins 2."

2) Bowman "James Pond"
As loving tribute to Bill Murray Club, very nice.  Perfect twist 
at the end, doing exactly what good twists do, turning 
everything skull-end-down but it all makes such SENSE.  Aces 
tempering of straightforward monologue with screaming-idiot 
interruptions.

5) Nozebone "Honeybee"
This was the innocent Daniel-Johnston-side of Nozebone.  Folk-
art rock (I don't mean "art rock" and I don't mean "folk rock"), 
and its jaggedy edges are Howard-Finster-wide-eyed, not cynical 
DIY punky, and that is admirable.  Nozebone is the frayed edge 
on torn-out spiral-binding notebook paper.  Fuck perforations, 
jack!

5.5)Slye/ Heinen "Homecoming Weekend"
     I was making a lot of happy noise during this, but 
through no fault of the sketch.  Extremely shrill gay lad, who 
was far too excited about his makeshift drag for S. Griffin's 
skit, was making loud, loud, loud horrified sounds during every 
stage combat move.  This was funnier than the skit, which was 
either Erwin/ Brooks' perfect "Darkness" minus funny dialogue or 
River's genius "Puncheroo" minus funny dialogue.
     The punchline you all seem to have missed (it went by 
too fast) explained that this is, indeed homecoming weekend, and 
that, presumably, is why to guys are smacking each other on the 
faces.

6) Clarke "French and Doctors"
     Maybe the snapper ending (Dr. is crazed, self-mutilating 
psych ward inmate) - which wasn't out of thin air, or anything, 
built-to acceptably- compromised anything Serious being said on 
the psycho-societal dynamix of birthing, and it may have 
confused instead of complicated the character (the first half 
would appear to just be a funny stand-up routine on how gross_ 
and pleasurably gross childbirth is), but I also don't know if I 
care, since it snapped the narrative into place and was funny.  
"Psycho-societal" is not a word, and this was neither 
comprehensible sentence nor useful comment.  Thank you.
     Like Okiishi, even when the writing is flawed, Clarke is 
a smart, engaging performer, and can charm the audience through 
the material.

7) Griffin "Two Gentleman"
Title was grossly misspelled.  K. Lange mistook my [sic] notes 
in order for pieces of the title, when really I just wanted him 
not to correct the typos: "Two Gentleman of Twelth Night."
Like "Saturday Night Live" but uh_ less jokes.  Fake Fight 
ending: never mind that this will be nearly never convincing: 
this was boring, more or less the same two lines ("You are gay, 
Gay Spencer! Come out to me!" "What the hell? I am not a 
gayness!") over. And over. And ove- and then they were gone and 
didn't come back.

8) Schmidt "Passion"
Er_ this sounded less "sexy" to me than it sounded "disturbingly 
like Richard Marx"_!!!!

8.5) Greenslaw "Gas, Gas, Gas"
I could listen to Ryan talk all night.  I could pocket-fuck him, 
too.  Wisely brief, too.

9) Cassady "This Monologue"
See comments on #12 below, except this time the dick and dead 
dog jokes didn't seem to add up to a terrible lot besides some 
funny dick and dead dog jokes.  That's fine, `course_ that's why 
I come to No Shame.

10) Okiishi "Faithless"
     Moving, natch, if prosy.  Not, to me, most valuable as 
an indictment of violence against gay persons, but as a metaphor 
for the sheer adrenaline-flavored happy horror of a nervous, 
excited, tentative coming out (which might be the only kind they 
are).  That said, pair it with "I Like Dick" as the flip side of 
Okiishi's most powerful duet as a queer American voice in the 
early century, and with Refrigerator as the same on mortality. 
(note to self: make all sentences convoluted as possible)

11.5) Stangl "Fight"
     Highlight: touching Jar Jar Lawson's balls.  Again.

12) Balls "Cary and Me"
     Balls monologues always get flying saliva on me.  If 
it's composed of mostly penis jokes, it adds up to more.  It 
adds up to an unexpected questioning of the delicate shading of 
sexual identity and its complications by art and fame, and 
goddamn it, those were some funny homo jokes, man.

13) Rust "My Friends"
     Same thing four times.  I didn't care.  The friendships 
of grown men are always funny to me.  Mentioning "Hey, Dude" is 
funny.  Wheelchair jokes are funny.  Needed a trim, needed some 
variation.  I loved how this was actually very bilious, but 
delivered joyously.

14) Wilder "Spartacus Over Gladiator"
     Were Wilder PLAYING a brazen asshole, openly insulting 
the audience (A. Kaufmann), this could be a lot of fun.  And if 
she were simply, from-de-heart, insulting the audience, she'd at 
least have her integrity in-tact_ But she wants to IMPRESS the 
audience by pretending she's smarter, and that's juvenile and 
desperate.
     Antagonizing, alienating- even flatly insulting- the 
audience is not "off limits," but if you don't give an audience 
ANYTHING to hold on to, they don't have a reason to look at you 
on stage for five minutes, and you don't HAVE an audience 
anymore.  Options include but are not limited to: inviting 
audience to feel smug WITH you (Dennis Miller); turning the 
mirror on your derision (J -&- E Coen); making the audience angry 
at the ignorance of the world at large AND Julia Wilder AND 
themselves, by implication (R. Crumb); actually learning to 
pronounce Latin, not just read it haltingly from your script.
     "Sparticus" is pompous, stylish trash that thinks it's 
classy and compromises fun in the process.  "Gladiator" is idiot 
fun, and doesn't have pretensions to anything else.  Judge ye.

15) Kovacs "BEER"
     I don't really like the Monty Python "SPAM" sketch, and 
besides the "SPAM Song" sketch was always just a funnier-
retooling of the tedious "Cheese Shop" sketch, and I know Mr. 
Kovacs has never heard it, but he was also ripping off this 
short rant about soda pops of the midwest, by Kim Daniels, which 
Mr. Daniels read to me and J. River in our kitchen one time, and 
he got spit on our floor.  Talking fast/ long isn't inherently 
funny (see Eric Idle in that travel agent sketch), and like this 
book "Worst Rock n' Roll Records" said about B. Joel's "We 
Didn't Start the Fire," "a list is not a song."  A list can be a 
song, of course, but you unnastand?  Sketches are built on gags, 
not gimmicks.

16) Stangl "Circus Fun"
     Just for "fun fakts" the important bits are "true," but 
shuffled/ compressed (i.e. my head was stuck a railing at an 
airport and my foot in a theatre seat during "Raiders of the 
Lost Arc," not an automatic door), and, yes, Circus Fun was 
discontinued in 1986.

Time: Wed, 11-Oct-2000 15:17:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.71


:
:1) River "'Hammin'' It Up"
The same basic kind of thing AJMR always does, basically, and still 
funny as the dickens.

:1) Angel "Music is Like My Butt-Hole"
This appealed to me greatly.  I liked the lyrics a lot.  It was a 
sweet song, and I am in no position to critique anyone musically.


:1) Okiishi/Burton "Advancement"
I liked the idea a lot.  It was a neat sort of spooky 
overdevelopment of the feeling most people who've had job 
interviews have had.  But it seemed to be a little long on the 
monologue/exposition.

:2) Bowman "James Pond"
Yeay.  That is alls that I can say, because Alyssa is finally 
writing her own comedy pieces and they rock.  She knows exactly how 
big to make a piece, so that it can get all the laughs it can, and 
yet never drag or annoyingly repeat.  And this is only like her 
third piece or something.
:5) Nozebone "Honeybee"
Stangl's review of this notwithstanding, it was the weakest 
Nozebone song so far (not counting the first one, let's all do our 
best to forget that first song, shall we).  The lyrics might have 
shown some of the innocence of Daniel Johnston but showed nothing 
of his vulnerability, which is why listening to him is so heart 
rending.  The reaction to this song would be more "Ha he's so 
desparate he has to befriend the bee that just wants his soda" 
instead of "I see myself in the sick desparation of a man whose 
only friend is a hostile bee", and the latter reaction would serve 
Nozebone better.  also, what's this business about harold finster?  
I mean, I guess both he and daniel johnston are crazy people who 
love god and make 'primative' artwork, but I don't see how he 
applies to Nozebone, exactly.
:5.5)Slye/ Heinen "Homecoming Weekend"
I want to see more pieces like this.  Genius in its simplicity and 
obscurity and brevity.
:6) Clarke "French and Doctors"
Yet another wonderfully twisted Aprille monologue.  Got perhaps a 
little too far into the guts 'n' gore thing so popular at NS these 
days for my tastes, but still pretty rockin' and surprisingly 
believably delivered.  The offensive jokes about welfare mothers 
got old, but all in all worked well.  I am falling asleep at the 
computer so the following reviews will be even more lame.
:
:7) Griffin "Two Gentleman"
The good thing about this was that it used the audio visual 
materials so much better than 'pants the musical' and was generally 
on a much higher level than that piece.  The fake-out ending is 
almost always predictable, especially to a NS audience which has 
been innundated by them in the last few semesters.  Not only is it 
predictable, but it is TIRED.  Nonetheless, if this piece were 
compressed into a tiny ball and set on my lap, I would love it and 
watch it over and over again.

:8) Schmidt "Passion"
Just when you think Ben has played really great songs of all kinds, 
he goes and pulls out some crazy Ani DiFranco funk-folk type sound 
that drives the crowds insane with jealousy.

:8.5) Greenslaw "Gas, Gas, Gas"
I had to ask Ryan what kind of eggs one cooks in an oven.  I was 
thinking souffle, but Ryan said, no, it was an oven with a stovetop 
on it.  I laughed and laughed at this one.  Whoo!

:9) Cassady "This Monologue"
I forget this piece.  I will review it when I wake up.

:10) Okiishi "Faithless"
All of Okiishi's monologues are fantastic.  They are usually long, 
but they always justify their length.  I have nothing else to say.

:11.5) Stangl "Fight"
Cute.  Gave Stangl and Aprille an excuse to suck face like mad 
face-suckers, which struck me as pretty funny of itself.

:12) Balls "Kehri Grant and Me"
This was truly funny and yes i did think of all the other sex with 
famous people skits that have been done, but this showed a 
different vein of research as well as a different brand of humor, 
level of energy, type of character etc.

:13) Rust "My Friends"
Energy of performance was soo great.  I really hadn't expected this 
from seeing the guy in the lounge looking nervous.  The text 
could've been trimmed, but I didn't really care because it had 
enough going for it that, even though part of me said "the joke has 
been made", I didn't really care that I was still hearing the joke, 
because the writing and the performance made it work for that long.
:
:14) Wilder "Spartacus Over Gladiator"
I completely entirely review with what Chris' agree of this piece 
said.  What he said.
:
:16) Stangl "Circus Fun"
Sweet and funny in that kind of haunting daniel johnston 
vulnerability way that I mentioned earlier.

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 03:40:05 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.206

   The "Seinfeld" episode with Kramer subplot spookily 
resembling Burton/ Okiishi's "Advancement" from last Friday is:
"The Bizarro Jerry", first aired October 3, 1996

           Chris Stangl, president of reserching!

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 14:25:52 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:   The "Seinfeld" episode with Kramer subplot spookily 
:resembling Burton/ Okiishi's "Advancement" from last Friday is:
:"The Bizarro Jerry", first aired October 3, 1996

That IS bizarro.  I came up with the idea based on some oddities 
overheard re: another department near where I work (where this one 
guy gets paid a lot more than some others, but none of the grunts 
have been told if he's one of their supervisors or just not a part 
of the hierarchy).  I guess there's nothing new under the sun...

-Adam

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 15:48:31 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Actually, the Seinfeld episode that our skit reminds me of the 
most is "The Barber" from 11/11/93, in the which George has a job 
interview, isn't sure whether or not he got the job, but shows up 
anyway, takes an abandoned office, and begins work on the Pinsky 
file.  Since he is there and "working," he is assumed to be a 
part of the office machinery.  His attempts, however, do not have 
the empowering results that Adam's character experienced.

Also, the idea of anonymity giving power in the office world was 
explored in "Clockwatchers" (an under-rated 1998 Toni Colette, 
Parker Posey, Lisa Kudrow film that I would highly 
recommend), "The Secret of My Success" (Michael J. Fox is really 
a mail-room worker, but everyone upstairs thinks he's "the new 
guy") and "Working Girl"  (Melanie Griffith is a secretary 
with "a head for business and a bod for sin").  

Other influences include:  "The West Wing" (political consultant 
gets foot in the door by pretending she was already hired), 
Steven Speilberg's real life story (he snuck away from a 
Universal Studio's lot tour, found an abandoned cabana, started 
writing, and didn't leave until he had his first movie deal), and 
our collective 25 years of office work which has shown us three 
things:  1)  People do advance in an organization just by hanging 
around and being innocuous.  2)  The larger the corporation, the 
less clear who has seniority over someone else (the idea of this 
sketch came from Adam's experience with a co-worker whom no one 
was sure if he was a supervisor or not and my experience of 
assuming one of my subordinates was actually my boss because she 
knew more than I did).  3)  New ideas look a lot like the old.

Time: Thu, 12-Oct-2000 19:38:31 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.91

         The GRANDFATHER CLAUSE

   The passage in Vladimir Nabokov's 1972 novel "Transparent 
Things" spookily resembling Chris Stangl's "Twenty Five Cents" 
is chapter 3, pgs. 6-8, Vintage International edition.  In these 
works a tiny, mundane action (Nabokov: picking up a pencil, 
Stangl: droping a quarter) is frozen and a multitude of 
accidental elements (N: construction of the pencil, S: 
alterations in environs of day-old bread store) are traced 
through a willy-nilly temporal webwork all adding up to This One 
Moment.
   Narrative device of all action occurring in frozen fractions 
of a second is uncatalogable, but author was undoubtedly swiping 
from Nicholson Baker's "The Mezzanine" and "The Fermata" and 
comics writer Alan Moore's infamous "Twilight of the Superheroes 
Proposal," in which all the action takes place in the time it 
takes to answer the question "Got a light?"
        Also... your mother.
                   -Rev. Chris Sta. Ngl.

Time: Fri, 13-Oct-2000 17:16:47 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.227

Go buy that Iowa City Gazette today.  See the photo featuring 
Alyssa Bowman, then read the caption that claims she's Chris 
Okiishi!

Actually, that's the only error I saw. And maybe it's not even 
an error--maybe Alyssa pulled a terrible prank on that poor 
photographer. ?. The article's cool, mostly an introductory 
thing for the uninformed, and it includes several fun and wacky 
photos from last week's show.  Hey, it's the cover story! For 
the weekend section!

.Balls told you this.

Time: Fri, 13-Oct-2000 17:54:32 GMT     IP: 206.230.238.156

:Go buy that Iowa City Gazette today.  See the photo featuring 
:
Alyssa Bowman, then read the caption that claims she's Chris 
:
Okiishi!
:

in fact, she alyssa is named "chris okiiski", and the pictures, i 
concur with monsiere balls, are wonderful.  

i sure do love a news!

i also love alyssa okiiski.

this has been a pubelick service pronouncement.

Time: Fri, 13-Oct-2000 23:35:19 GMT     IP: 208.142.209.46


:Actually, that's the only error I saw. 

well, they got my name wrong too; they called me MariCata, Princess 
of the Porcupine People.  but hey, it happens.

Time: Sat, 14-Oct-2000 07:56:07 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.143

I finally started to put together a page on my website about Nozebone the Band.  It is painfully
lame at the moment, but at least you 
can learn the name of that crazy instrument that I play.  Here is the address of my website for
those of you who don't already know:  
http://angelfire/ia/lucre

-love nick.

Time: Mon, 16-Oct-2000 00:59:38 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.19

All right.

I finally, finally updated my web site.  A lot of it is the same, 
but much of it is different.  So if you like different, check it 
out.

Just so you know.

--Al

Time: Mon, 16-Oct-2000 03:14:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Okay, so, after I told everyone to go look at my cheesy new web
 page for NOZEBONE THE BAND, I was informed that not all of the links to
 the Nozebone page work.  Yikes!  It should oughta be fixed now
 though.  http://angelfire/ia/lucre Enjoy, kiddos!

Time: Mon, 16-Oct-2000 14:50:34 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

In haste:

1)   The Singing Doctor by Ryan Greenlaw
2)   What Kind of Job Is It?  By Greg Mitchell
3)   Kissing Booth by Chris Stangl
4)   Dan's First Skit by Dan
5)   Sweeney Todd Bass:  The Willie Barbour of Chew Street by 
Mark J. Hansen
6)   Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ!  What's that on the cross?!  Or  
What's that o the cross?! Jesus Christ!!  A Collaboration of fun 
by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
7)   Dragonflies by Nozebone the Band
8)   Frank the Dentist by Arlen Lawson
9)   Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse and You by Paul Rust
10)  I Hate That Damn Racoon by Brandon Peterson
11)  The Tanaki Presentation by Neil "Balls" Campbell
12)  Two Monologues by Brad Smith
13)  Life Factors by Willie Barbour
14)  S'ghetti meets Balls by Aaron and Neil
15)  The Monster's Head by Chris Stangl

Okay--so there you go.  Sincerest sorry to Chris Stangl and Greg 
Mitchell for messing up the ending light cues.  My bad.  

Time: Tue, 17-Oct-2000 01:46:19 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.67

No Shame Theatre, 10-13-2000

Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
1. "The Singing Doctor" by Ryan Greenlaw
[performed by: R. Greenlaw, M. Hansen]
      Comedy sketch delivering what title promises.
2. "What Kind of Job Is It?" by Greg Mitchell
[G. Mitchell, ?]
       Trainee unwilling to fellate office manager on demand in 
comedy sketch.
3. "Kissing Booth" by Chris Stangl
[A. Lawson, C. Stangl]
      Comedy sketch.  Arlen ostracized for eating bowl of semen 
with bare hands.
4. "Dan's 1st Skit" by Dan Fairchild
[D. Fairchild, JJ Lawson]
      Comical situation for sketch: Dan is so nervous that Arlen 
must perform his monologue. Subject: Dan's "cock."
5. "Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew Street" by 
Mark J. Hansen
[M. Hansen]
     "Stupid" military general explains airborne warfare. 
Comicish monologuish.
6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
[N. Campbell, M. Cassady, A. Lawson]
     Dead-Puppy and Face-Rot ruminate on love letters and 
Arlen Lawson in comic sketch.
7. "Dragonflies" by Nozebone the band
[N. Clark, M. Hansen, W. Barbour]
     Musical dirge re: drunken frat boys, date rape, 
entomological metaphors.
8. "Frank the Dentist" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
[AJJ. Lawson]
     What became of Frank? He played solitaire, died in cave-
in. Comic monologue.
9. "Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse -&- You" by Paul Rust
[P. Rust]
     Christian watchdog group leader expounds on above topics in 
monologue format, comic style.
10. "I Hate That Damn Raccoon" by Brandon Peterson
[B. Peterson]
      Slovenly drunken young fellow seeks love via video dating 
service. Comedy monologue.
11. "The Tanaki Presentation" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
[NB. Cambpell]
      Clumsy, silly businessman's comedy monologue on personal 
life becomes suddenly wrought with tragedy, personal frustration.
12. "Two Monologues" by Brad Smith
[B. Smith]
     Two monologues, one prose snippet, dramatic: ?/description 
of scummy man/ boy anticipates beating for wilted lettuce.
13. "Life Factors" by Willie Barbour
[W. Barbour]
     Life as Pla-Doh Fun Factory, beauty smashed to shit. Sex, 
food, poetic monologue.
14. "S'ghetti Meets Balls" by Aaron (Galbraith) and Neil (Balls 
Campbell)
[NB. Campbell, A. Galbraith]
     Two men writhe in spaghetti/ make out while spouting 
pseudo-Shakespearean non sequiturs.  Horror-comedy sketch.
15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl
[C. Stangl]
     Meeting between cop and criminal in diner/ story of 
Oliver Cromwell's head illustrate nature of chance in dual-
layered dramatic/ educational/ metaphysic monologue.

Vivisect.

Rev. Chris.

Time: Tue, 17-Oct-2000 01:49:54 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.67


    I post without seeing if order posted already.
    I also forget first section of B. Smith's piece, making self 
"jackass."
    As Arlen says "I am Jar Jar!"
            -Rev. Stangl

Time: Wed, 18-Oct-2000 04:03:09 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.139

:No Shame Theatre, 10-13-2000

:Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
Balls seems to have a hard time maintaining energy during the announcements, which strikes me
as strange since this never has been 
his affliction when 'acting'.
:1. "The Singing Doctor" by Ryan Greenlaw
Not as funny as previous week's mono, but then, what could be?  This was fun just because Ryan
being funny is both hilarious and 
heartwarming, even if he has found some acharacteristically boorish way of being funny.
:2. "What Kind of Job Is It?" by Greg Mitchell
The breaking into song thing was the icing on the cake of how this just was not meant to follow
Ryan's peice.  Too similar.  Both 
Mitchell and Greenlaw have similar styles and ways of getting laughs.  Both use their naturally
awkward physicallity and  
handsomely unique voice to simultaneously charm the audience and get them to laugh.  Also the
pieces were structured similarly.  
The power dynamic between trainee and manager was a little too similar to that of doctor-patient
to allow either of the two first 
pieces to work in the long run.  In the short run, both were successful, though not as amusing as
the previous work of their authors.
:3. "Kissing Booth" by Chris Stangl
I am quite fond of Chris' current string of mini-sketches: like something out of the funny papers,
only on stage.  And funny.
:4. "Dan's 1st Skit" by Dan Fairchild
I don't think Chris really does owe Dan $10, since the piece was really about doing a first piece at
No-Shame.  But where most of 
those pieces are dismal, this one somehow pulled through.  Perhaps it was the sage wisdom of the
experienced Arlen, or perhaps it 
was the hackneyed, yet always hilarious use of penis jokes.  Anyhow, it was well crafted, and I
laughed.
:5. "Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew Street" by Handsome Mark Hansen
This begins to enter into why I think Mark Hansen will one day be known by people not just in
No-Shame, but everywhere, as the 
funniest man alive.  The humor of speech's fragile relationship to text and text's even more fragile
relationship to action is ripe, 
underexplored territorry for writers of comedy pieces.  That is to say that what mark has done
here is to create a monologue with a 
stream of humor running within the text, a stream of humor running between the text and his own
actions, and a third stream of humor 
which runs within the act of the text's creation.  Most comedy bits have only the first stream, but
this one found three dimensionality 
like those guys who Plato tied to the wall of a cave, or something.  If that made any sense at all,
I'm going to go shoot myself.
:6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
:What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
:Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
Funny, good, whacky, but none of these things on the level that the two authors working
independantly usually create.
:7. "Dragonflies" by Nozebone the band
 I couldn't play so good once I got all nervous playing to an audience I had just told to shut up. 
Also the tambourine kinda drowned out 
the lyrics, I am told.  But you can find the lyrics on my website:   http://angelfire/ia/lucre
:8. "Frank the Dentist" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
I cannot remember this one very clearly.  I think I was still recovering form the trauma of having
told the audience to shut up.
:9. "Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse --&-- You" by Paul Rust
I liked it a lot.  It went after an obvious target: homophobic christians, but Paul brought a fresh
complexity and energy to the piece.  I 
didn't like it as much as last week's, but still it was great.
:10. "I Hate That Damn Raccoon" by Brandon Peterson
This was a unique, un-No-Shame-like, almost un-theatre like monologue.  It was interesting, and
declaimed with a solid energy that 
didn't let me become tired of it.  I liked its feeling of simplicity.
:11. "The Tanaki Presentation" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
This was a great melding of slapstick hilarity and familial frustration, competently acted by Balls. 
This might be my favorite Balls 
piece ever. There are a few times when complicated costumes seem other than excessive at NS. 
Successes usually involve a good actor 
acting well, and more often than not the costume portrays a businessman.  I don't know what the
businessman part means, but good 
acting is necessary to justify the expenditure of time and energy (maybe even money) on
costuming, which might be why the bartender 
outfit in last week's beer skit seemed a bit excessive.
:12. "Two Monologues" by Brad Smith
Another very good actor doing a very good job of acting.  Brad seems almost more comfortable
talking to an audience from a stage than 
he does talking to friends in the lounge, say.  These monologues hit home for a number of
reasons: 1. They were sad / slightly 
disturbing. 2. They were acted with conviction which let the audience imagine that they indicated
real events taking place outside 
of the theatre in the real world. 3. They were written in that weird Brad Smith monologue style
which is kind of a cross between 
Virginia Woolf and most of the translations of Anton Chekhov that I have read.  That probably
means very little to anyone but me.  
It is past my bedtime again.
:13. "Life Factors" by Willie Barbour
I remember the pla-doh image, which was great and sooo quintessentially Willie, but the rest of
the mono escapes me. Sorry.
:14. "S'ghetti Meets Balls" by Aaron (Galbraith) and Neil (Balls 
:Campbell)
I know you loved this piece.  You know I loved this piece.  Does anyone need to ask why?
:15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl
This is the Stangl mono that has me seriously thinking that Chris needs a new schtick.  How many
times has he embedded a 
disgusting account of the mutilation of a dead famous person within a character monologue? 
More than I care to count.  What was the 
payoff of this particular jaunt back down that all too familiar roadway?  "Do you believe in God
or chance?"  Wow the lights went 
off so we can't even see what he rolled on the dice.  I bet God did that.  How deep.  I think that
ths particular instance of recycled 
format could have been justified if I had stayed more convinced of Stangl's character throughout
the monologue and not just at the 
beginning and end.  Somewhere in there we lose track of why we bothered listening to the
Cromwell story, and I got the feeling that 
the character lost track of why he was telling it.  So was it poor writing or poor acting that failed
this piece?  Both, mostly in the 
shadow of the fact that Stangl is almost consistently an above-par actor and writer.

Time: Wed, 18-Oct-2000 04:47:26 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.249


:Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
:
:Balls seems to have a hard time maintaining energy during the  
:announcements, which strikes me as strange since this never has 
:been 
:his affliction when 'acting'.

You know, earlier this semester when I began to do the 
announcements, I thought, "Great, because the top of the show is 
very important because it can build the audience's energy level 
for the rest of show. You can perhaps get an otherwise apathetic 
audience'jazzed up' and excited to be at No Shame, and when the 
audience is into the show it affects the performers as well.  And 
I've seen too many boring announcements, or someone just standing 
around onstage while the order is read really fast instead of 
trying to get the audience into it. Admittedly, reading the order 
really fast serves no practical purpose and is kind of dumb, but 
it's like this ritual everybody expects and, if done properly, 
can be used to truly get the audience excited. I believe so 
anyway."

Really.  I thought all that.  So anyway, I made it a personal 
mission of mine to be really engage the crowd during the 
announcements and the order speed-through. If I'm not maintaining 
energy, then I'm failing in my mission and I'll improve upon 
that, but just so you know, I really do want to 
excite/energize/titillate the crowd at the top of the show. I do 
not have some sort of apathetic postmodern view toward the 
announcements and the top of the show in general. I think it 
serves a definite purpose, in terms of bringing both the audience 
and the performers into the world of No Shame for a few hours.

Also, you must have forgotten all about that "dictator" joke, 
which was incredibly funny.

Ballstator

Time: Wed, 18-Oct-2000 17:56:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.169

:No Shame Theatre, 10-13-2000
:
:Annoucements/ Order: Neil Campbell and Chris Stangl
:1. "The Singing Doctor" by Ryan Greenlaw
I can't judge this by the standard of Ryan's last piece (I missed 
it) but I can say that I thought this was really funny and a great 
show-opener. It was hard for me to decide what to do when I wasn't 
talking, so I just watched Ryan and laughed instead.
:2. "What Kind of Job Is It?" by Greg Mitchell
I agree with Nick that this came at the wrong time, and in fact on 
the wrong night. Both are funny for the same reasons, which is why 
they shouldn't be next to each other. Anyway, I hope Greg Mitchell 
continues to write more and maybe even become a semi-regular again.
:3. "Kissing Booth" by Chris Stangl
I love comedy sketches that are both funny and at the same time 
short. This was those things. 
:4. "Dan's 1st Skit" by Dan Fairchild
My favorite part of this was when Dan told Chris he owed him $10, 
that was cool. 
:5. "Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew Street" by 
:Mark J. Hansen
Todd Bass is a guy I went to high school with. Severely unprepared 
for this one, too much checking my script when the stage directions 
didn't call for it, and laughing at my own jokes. Still worked 
okay, though. 
:6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
:What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
:Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman
I could tell which part was written by Al. (Note the use of the 
gun.) Not the best by the individuals, but fascinating to see what 
happens when they work together. 
:7. "Dragonflies" by Nozebone the band
I think the tambourine fucked this one up. It's true in performance 
it didn't have the intensity of when I first heard it, but the 
tambourine was too much noise. I really really liked the last 
minute addition of Willie, though.
:8. "Frank the Dentist" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
Not Arlen's best. Vote it into Best of! That line i said was meant 
for Jamal, but I kicked its ass!!! 
:9. "Jesus Christ, Mickey Mouse --&-- You" by Paul Rust
For some reason, I recall this as being one of several pieces of 
the night that revolved around homosexual jokes. This being the 
most tasteful one. Ultra-Right Christians are definitely not an 
unfamiliar target, but Paul's assured delivery saved it from being 
too cliche. Do more!!
:10. "I Hate That Damn Raccoon" by Brandon Peterson
I had a little trouble following the story, the delivery was a 
little strange, not as "performy" as I'm used to. He was a cutie, 
thoug, wasn't he?
:11. "The Tanaki Presentation" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
Yeah. Crazy/funny life of a businessman turns suddenly tragic, in 
that split second almost impreceptible way that kinda reminds me of 
Okiishi, only more manic.
:12. "Two Monologues" by Brad Smith
Yay! I read these beforehand, and was struck by the language, and 
how the descriptions were at once spare and vivid. Then, Brad's 
delivery enhanced them. He has a real presence, it's not 
performance so much as an intimate conversation with a large crowd 
of people.
:13. "Life Factors" by Willie Barbour
More of the familiar territory for Willie. The visuals were a 
little more vivid (my new word) this time, and I always enjoy 
Willie onstage, yelling and stuff.
:14. "S'ghetti Meets Balls" by Aaron (Galbraith) and Neil (Balls 
:Campbell)
All it was missing were those creepy sound effects from Mausoleum 
Plaza.
:15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl
I found the story of Cromwell's head interesting, but I lost the 
character halfway through, and couldn't exactly figure what it had 
to do with this guy in a diner talking to the chief of police. 

If none of this helps, you don't have to read it. 

Time: Thu, 19-Oct-2000 07:02:23 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.134

:6. "Face OFF! Or Jesus Christ! What's that on the Cross?! Or 
:What's That on the Cross?! Jesus Christ!!" a Collaboration of 
:Fun by Al Angel and Alyssa Bowman

:I could tell which part was written by Al. (Note the use of the 
:gun.)

You are so wrong, Mark.  I laugh all over you.

The use of the trusty ol' gun was entirely Alyssa's idea (as was 
most of the fighting).  I mostly contributed mushy stuff.  The 
violence was mosty Alyssa's.

I hope I have ruined your day by deconstructing your bourgeios 
preconceptions and thus destroying your worldview.

Love,
Al

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 00:12:46 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.204


I hope I have ruined your day by deconstructing your bourgeios 
:
preconceptions and thus destroying your worldview.
:

:
Love,
:
Al
 My preconceptions are not bourgeios, thank you so very much!!! Otherwise, yeah. Ouch.

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 14:34:08 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.170

Re: The order speed through, and the no practical purpose it 
serves.
Wanna know a fascinating No Shame quasi-historical fact? I'll 
tell you anyway. The whole way the order speed-through thing got 
started (and it really doesn't contribute anything to the show) 
is this: My junior year, when I first started doing the order at 
the top of the show, I broke up with this girl who did the 
announcements at the top of the show, right before the second NS 
of the season. Suddenly, it got really, _really_ uncomfortable 
standing up there with her and feeling her icy gaze pricking at 
my scalp while I read the order the second, interminably long 
time. So I started to do the speed-through thing in order to make 
this uncomfortable moment pass more quickly, and also because the 
strain it placed on my breathing constantly offered me the sweet 
release of death. Neat, huh?

So Balls and Chris, unless you two guys break up anytime soon, 
don't feel like your subverting a years-old tradition by coming 
up with another way to deal with the order. Because you won't be. 
Also, now that I'm a No Shame alum, I can constantly pester the 
website with my stupid, possibly apocryphal anecdotes. Isn't that 
cool?

Actually, I'm just trying to get you fuckers to send me e-mail. 
Send me e-mail, you fuckers.

Love,
I mean, Your Friend,
There we go; she'll never suspect anything now,
Dan

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 19:41:47 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.34

    See, in the first playwriting class e'er I took, they said 
to accept criticism with folded arms and serious look on your 
face and not respond, but it seems Mr. N. Clark of Iowa City has 
some questions and/or misreadings of my piece:
:15. "The Monster's Head" by Chris Stangl

which may/ may not benefit from my breaking the above rule.

:How many times has he embedded a disgusting account of the 
:mutilation of a dead famous person within a character 
:monologue?

   Three times (1. Sylvia Plath, 2. John Kennedy, 3. Lord 
Cromwell), assuming this monologue was "disgusting," which I 
don't think it was, which is not grammatically right. Correct. I 
have brutalized/ slandered celebrities as the core of a piece 
thrice more (1. Mrs. E. Roosevelt 2. cast of "Wizard of Oz", 2. 
Walter E. Disney), though not mutilated their dead bodies.
   The critical difference between these and "Monster's" is that 
the Cromwell story is 1) not played for laughs, 2) not focused 
on mutilation aspects of the story, but the unlikely 300 year 
chain of random events and how they seemingly circle back on 
themselves, 3)(more-or-less) true: none of the other Celebrity 
Mutilations are remotely accurate, save that JFK was indeed in 
need of hat resizing after his Dallas visit.

:What was the payoff...?  "Do you believe in God or chance?"  
:Wow the lights went off so we can't even see what he rolled on 
:the dice.  I bet God did that.  How deep.

   Any "payoff" or "moral" or "point" will look shallow if you 
recap it in a flip, reductionist manner.  "What's the payoff of 
'Rashomon'? 'There is no objective truth'? How fuckin' deep, 
man."  "What's the point of the Bible? Be nice to people? 
Whooptie-fuggin'-do."  Didn't work for you? Fine, that is my 
fault, but a sarcastic "how deep" neither "holds water" nor 
"breaks wind" for me.
  This wasn't intended as the philosophic "payoff," which seems 
your complaint. The audience is invited throughout to decide if 
random events have design, and the nature thereof.  It IS the 
narrative "payoff," because I think audiences are engaged by 
stories and characters, not philosophies. THAT payoff is that my 
character's been pirouetting around death for five minutes and 
when he stops talking, he stops being alive.  It's a filibuster 
against mortality ABOUT how you can't filibuster against 
mortality, and me? I liked that.  The last line is "supposed" to 
lend some verbal symmetry and leave you with a Feeling, not 
illustrate anything concrete. I was hoping for something like 
the final speech in "Raising Arizona," which pretends to, but 
doesn't REALLY offer aphorisms on parenting, it just... just 
FEELS right.
  The lights went off (I bet Chris Okiishi did that) because 1) 
pieces typically end with the lights going off, 2) my character 
was presumably shot dead at the end.  If 2) was not properly 
conveyed, that is my fault.
  The payoff of "Psycho"? "Let them see what kind of a person I 
am?" Well he's a fuckin' crazy murderer kind of person! Tres 
deep!

:Somewhere in there we lose track of why we bothered listening 
:to the Cromwell story, and I got the feeling that the character 
:lost track of why he was telling it.

   Sadly, I agree. The incessent, distracting dice-rolling was a 
stopgap measure intended to remind you to pay attention to 
Accident/Entropy throughout, not worry about the gross severed 
head. I hoped the head to be a bloodless MacGuffin. It ended up 
like that fucking briefcase in "Pulp Fiction": gimmicky 
MacGuffin caused more trouble than it's worth, because the 
awkward metaphor gots more attention than what it STOOD for and 
how it FUNCTIONED.
    But here's the big secret. The "doozy":
    I wrote the raw material of "The Monster's Head" in ninth 
grade.  I've been sitting on this dubious mono for six, seven 
years. It's awkward, it's boring, it's badly paced. It is. I can 
make no serious excuses for it. I HAD to perform the piece of 
shit, and now I never have to worry about this particular piece 
of shit again.

       -Rev. C. Stangl, Zembla University Theatre Studies

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 20:38:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.210


::What was the payoff...?  "Do you believe in God or chance?"  
::Wow the lights went off so we can't even see what he rolled on 
::the dice.  I bet God did that.  How deep.


I have to apologize for this statement.  I knew it was rude and not 
valid criticism when first I typed it.  Chris' criticism of my 
criticism, however, is, I think valid, because I invited it.  
Specifically with the above statement.  Y'see, though I knew it to 
be rude and not critical, I left it in because I was really damn 
curious what the hell Chris had intended with that ending, and I am 
glad that Mr. Stangl has sated my curiosity.

Time: Fri, 20-Oct-2000 20:57:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.210


:Also, you must have forgotten all about that "dictator" joke, 
:which was incredibly funny.
:
:Ballstator


You're right.  I had forgotten about the dictator joke.  And it was 
incredibly funny.  And I apologize for making such a big issue out 
of the announcements, becuase I didn't mean to make it seem like 
you were just awful to watch doing the announcements, quite the 
contrary.  I just had the feeling last weeks announcements could 
have been taken up a notch.  Though I'm not really one to criticize 
such things, since I'm sure my own best efforts to make the 
announcements seem interesting wouldn't really garner much audience 
excitement at all.

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 02:31:50 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:Re: The order speed through, and the no practical purpose it 
:serves.
:Wanna know a fascinating No Shame quasi-historical fact? I'll 
:tell you anyway. The whole way the order speed-through thing got 
:started (and it really doesn't contribute anything to the show) 
:is this: My junior year [...]

Actually, to add an even more fogeyish quality to long-gone 
reminescences, if this is the origin of your speed-reading then 
it's an interesting example of convergent evolution 'cause at the 
Best of the Best of No Shame all 12-or-so former MCs on stage knew 
unbidden to do a "once more, really fast" reading...  See?  Even 
when we try to be original it ain't original.  :)  

Another thing to point out that the MCs of Years Gone By agreed 
upon--the rules of No Shame are but three:  1) the work must be 
original, 2) it must be five minutes or less, and 3) it can't 
damage the space or its occupants.  The parts about "typewritten, 
submitted in the lounge at 10:30 before the show, etc., etc." that 
have lately been called rules on occasion are generally just 
considered helpful info..

[insert old man raspy gutteral shout here]

Heh.

-Adam

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 05:21:01 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.38

 
:My junior year, when I first started doing the order at 
:the top of the show, I broke up with this girl who did the 
:announcements at the top of the show, right before the second NS 
:of the season. Suddenly, it got really, _really_ uncomfortable 
:standing up there with her and feeling her icy gaze pricking at 
:my scalp while I read the order the second, interminably long 
:time. So I started to do the speed-through thing in order 
:make this uncomfortable moment pass more quickly...

I was there. It was my first No Shame. Picture it, Sicily, 
1927...no, wait. That's a Golden Girls reference. Anyway, I can 
attest to that and the many other uncomfortable moments based on 
said breakup, culminating in Oliver Nowak, playwriting class, a 
psuedo-real threat of violence and the greatest word not in the 
English language: ETAU-MAO!! 

Rehearsal tomorrow, must sleep.

Send me mail!

ersnt stavro rothschild

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 08:11:37 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.63

What a show, eh? Some looong boring pieces that I didn't like, 
some other pieces that I didn't like, and a few really good 
standouts. Also, that guy who threw up! Fuck!  What a gross 
thing to do! And he didn't even wimp out and puke in a jar, Jar 
Jar! :) (i'm just kidding i love you lol)

I want to be asleep.

So good night!

Bls.

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 18:24:52 GMT     IP: 128.255.53.240

Dear No Shame Board and audience,

My little brother was the one who threw up at No Shame Theatre 
last night.  I would like to sincerely apologize for our actions.  
We were irresponsible and inconsiderate.  I am especially 
remorseful because I have been to No Shame Theatre several times 
before and I have enjoyed it immensely.  I am in awe of many of 
you for the sheer quality of your writing, your 
seemingly boundless creativity, and your incredible acting 
ability.  I am sorry that we had to ruin a good clean night of fun 
with our actions.  I sincerely apologize and I promise that it 
will never happen again.  I know that it was a horrible thing to 
do, but I hope that everyone can forgive us.

Sincerely,
Shawn Sebastian

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 22:07:17 GMT     IP: 63.15.134.224

Well, thank you, Shawn Sebastien, for your apology, and for all 
those nice things you said. Are you the one who helped clean it 
up?  If so, thank you for that as well. If not, thanks to that 
guy.

:I am sorry that we had to ruin a good clean night of fun with  
our actions.

It wasn't a great way to begin the night, admittedly, but I think 
once it got cleaned up and we got started it didn't affect the 
show too much. Of course, I wasn't sitting in that section, so I 
don't know if it was smelly or anything, but I didn't hear any 
complaints. Also, that's the first time I've ever heard anybody 
describe No Shame as "clean."  Or "good."  Ha ha!  No I'm just 
kidding.

So, there you go. All is forgiven (in my mind, anyway).  I just 
hope people have learned their lessons, etc., etc., as I'm sure 
they have.  Cool?  Cool.

Comma,

Balls

Time: Sat, 21-Oct-2000 23:16:33 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.209

No Shame Theatre, 10-20-2000

Guy throws up Mexican food.

Announcements/ Order: Neil "Balls" Campbell, Chris Stangl

1. "Take Two Strychnines and Don't Call me In The Morning" by 
Chris Stangl
[Performed by C.  Stangl, J. J. Lawson]
Fatal disease nursed with liquor. Comedy sketch.

2. "Cookie" by Don Deeley
[D. Deeley]
Giant cookie blocks out sun.  Prop comedy routine.

3. "The Flapper and the Clown Pt I: The Clown in Montana; A 
Serial Monologue" by Arlen "Jar Jar" Lawson
[A.J.E.E.Lawson]
Bloody-armed clown frightens man into building doghouse.  Comedy 
monologue.

4. "Umbrella" by Nozebone the Band
[N. Clark, M. Hansen]
     Meditation on symbolic properties of borrowed umbrella.  
Song.

5. "How Do You Fuck The World?" by Alex Kipp
[A. Kipp]
Alex has difficulty writing suicide note, because everything is 
horrible.  Dramatic monologue.

5.5 "The Quarry Men From Kankatee" by JP
["JP"]
     Tale of football hero "with the wounded knee."  Comedy 
song.

6. "Brotherly Love" by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron
[T. Kovacs, S. Negron]
Nerd brother, "jackass" brother relate experiences of a wild 
party.  Comedy sketch.

7. "The Legend of Zelda (was taken from my house by Mose's 
little brother, Louie Hayward)" Alyssa Bowman wrote it.
[A. Lawson, N. Campbell, C. Stangl]
     Can X (with dead, puppet mother) pee on E, or will K do 
the butt dance some more? Comedy sketch.

8. "Glenngarry Glenn Close" by Mark Hansen
[M. Hansen, R. Greenlaw]
Boy and father argue over parentage, ice cream.  Comedy sketch.

9. "Fly" by Brad Smith
[A. Lawson, ?]
Woman taunts flies, man desires woman.  Seriocomic scene.

10. "I Am Announcer Man" by Benjamin Heinen and Steven Slye
[I do not know who performed this, presumably Heinen and Slye 
were involved]
Hick Man, Audience Man, Straight Man and Theatre Man battle it 
out.  Comedy sketch.

11. "Love in the world as it appears to me in a hospital and in 
Lou Henri's on a Friday morning after I had a dream about being 
beaten up by a swat team.  A present for Joanna and Troy."  By 
Al Angel.
[A. Angel]
Man may, may not be in love, sets woman on fire, at her 
request.  Seriocomic monologue.

12. "Mr. Rogers Is A Wore" by Dan Fairchild
[D. Fairchild]
Dan stripteases to boxers, rails about Fred Rogers' "hairy ape 
tits." Comedy monologue.

13. "Underwater" by King Toad [J. R