Time: Wed, 01-Nov-2000 15:47:51 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.116

:I was screwing around on the ol' compulater, dicking through 
:some of the short stories I've written and I've come across a 
:piece that I think would translate well into a monologue.  It's 
:written in stream of consciousness which is just a very short 
:hop from being a monologue anyway.

sure, you can adapt, whatever.  but here's my warning.  If you're 
going to do a monologue, for the love of chris(t) make it good.  
there has been a proliferation of bad monologues lately, and jesus 
h are those things boring.

the thing is, especially when you're a new writer, it's hard to 
know exactly what's going to work and what isn't.  that's not bad, 
necessarily--one of the best functions of No Shame is to provide 
new writers/performers with a forum to practice and improve.
 
but, almost by definition, a monologue is more boring than almost 
any other kind of performance.  Why?  because there's just one 
person up there, just one voice, just one body, just one style.  
whenever you get more people into the mix, the interest value 
jumps.  shall we compare this to figure skating?  which is more 
interesting, a single figure skater competing for the gold, or a 
wild swarm of hornets after you throw a baseball at their nest?  
i'm betting on the hornets.
 
now, monologues can be good.  in fact, they often are, but the 
people who do good monologues are generally people who cut their 
teeth in other forms of theater (skits, witty repart‚, etc.).  
therefore, they understand that the necessary flatness of a 
monologue must be overcome by other factors, such as good writing, 
scathing humor, or a wild combination of both.
 
so, here is my advice to anyone planning to do a monologue:  keep 
it short, keep it good.
 
in fact, that's good advice for just about everything.  except, you 
know.
 
and, yes, i was thinking of James Horak.  Thanks, Chris.  I liked 
him.  he was nice.

Time: Wed, 01-Nov-2000 18:31:51 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.161

Rumor has it that James "Rocky" Horak now has some responsibility 
related to the the marching band that takes up his Friday nights. 
So it's not inconceivable that he will return to No Shame once 
the marching band season is over.  I don't know that this will be 
the case, as I've seen him once this semester and we didn't even 
mention No Shame, but in theory, it's possible, I suppose. He was 
never someone who came every week anyway, but maybe he'll start 
making some more appearances once his Fridays are free.  I don't 
know.  This is all just conjecture.  I cannot foretell the future.

From,

Balls

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 01:26:06 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.139

   This post is all about my ongoing No Shame monologue.  If 
you're not interested in that, skip this post.
   The first two parts of my serial monologue, "The Flapper and 
The Clown" are up on the website.  Also on my website, 
angelfire.com/in2/thedickens.  If you look at them on my website, 
I get to count how many people have read them.  If you look at 
them on the No Shame website, you get to read the "Author's 
notes" at the bottom.
  See the episode you missed because you were drinking!!  
Critically examine each of the pieces to see if they hold up on 
their own as well as together.  Learn why Nick Clark hopes the 
next one will be better. (It's not getting any better, Nick.  
Like it or hate it, tell me now.) Read them.  Memorize them. Or 
at least familiarize yourself enough with them that the 
continuity errors in the third one will come blazing into your 
brain this Friday,  screeching with whistle and siren clarity, 
distracting and annoying you, in the kind of moment that makes 
you say "Hey!" like how when you watched The Exorcist you said 
"Hey! If she's just a little girl, how come she talks like the 
devil?"
   Addressing Continuity errors:  Yes, they were there.  No, they 
were not mistakes.  Yes, there will be even more, I'm sure.  Yes, 
I wish I could avoid them somehow without leaking what's going to 
happen in the next one and without upsetting integral "I know 
more than I'm telling right now" and "This is as far as I've 
come" closing moments.  Plus I wanted to use some interesting 
time progression costume/makeup(costume/kitchen goop) gimmics.
   
                       -Arlen "Too Fat" Lawson
   

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 02:44:35 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.14

:I hate ripping people apart so I'll take the pussy way out and 
:just comment on the ones I like.  If I don't comment on your 
:piece then, yes, you can assume that I either didn't like it or 
:was indifferent towards it.  Sorry.  I figure you've had enough 
:feedback so just consider this the people's choice awards.

So you liked some stuff.  That's great.  And then you decided to 
ruin it by making this post.  That isn't so great.  "People's 
Choice Awards" (aka, popularity contests) don't help anybody; not 
the people chosen and not the people un-chosen.  "I liked it" or 
any of the myriad of derivative comments (i.e., "it kicked ass.") 
do not help the writer/performer to learn/grow from the response. 
 In order to do anything worthwhile in terms of a review (i.e., 
"reviews from the audience") and not waste people's time and R. 
Stangl's precious "bandwidth," a review should contain some 
information that might help someone.  If something worked, why?  
If something didn't work, why?  If you're going to write a list of 
things you liked that benifits nobody, why?  The answer to that 
last one: you crave attention due to your low self-esteem, which 
you have earned because you are stupid.  In life as on stage in No 
Shame: it really isn't enough to want to say something; have 
something to say.  Has anyone ever really liked a piece that went 
"This No Shame is so intriguing, so I talked to my friends and 
they talked me into doing it, so I tried real hard to come up with 
something to say and now I will tell you all about my 
telemarketing job through a series of anecdotes that do nto 
entertain pr inform you remotely."?  Exactly.

And as far as what Mike "I was born with a fart in my mouth" 
Rothschild has said: really, Mike, a well-thought, well-meant 
review can do anyone a world of good.  The only reason to fear a 
review is that you are bad.  Are all reviews helpful?  No.  But to 
shun the review (and, for that matter, the workshopping process 
that is often involved) is to say one of two things: a) I am 
perfect and as such can not get any better (which is a 
self-delusional statement that can never be true) or b) I am as 
bad as bad can be and can and will never get any better.

I turned into a bug and Franz Kafka wrote a story about me,
--Al
(Gregor)

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 04:01:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

Al, all that you say in this post is true, however, I don't feel that it really applies as criticism of the
review which it quotes.  Aside from the caveat at the beginning, which does make an admittedly
despicable description of the review to follow, the review itself is chock full of advice about what
performers can do to improve their pieces, and what elements worked really well.  There's not
really a bandwidth issue here, so much I don't think, since this board is provided by a third party
(beseen.com) and pays for itself with those ugly banner ads at the top.  But yes, excessive posts
like this one waste everybody's time, and that is much more important than any (Nozebone the)
Band - width that might exist.  Treehouse.

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 07:03:51 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.228

And as far as what Mike "I was born with a fart in my mouth" 
:
Rothschild has said: really, Mike, a well-thought, well-meant 
:
review can do anyone a world of good.  

Well, you'd think so. But more and more over these past weeks and 
months I've been becoming convinced reviews are an inherently 
silly idea (which is why I've pretty much tried to stop writing 
them, and am also having trouble wading through other people's). 
I mean, for a review to be useful, to have to accept the idea 
that there is such a thing as "bad art" and "good art", and that 
there is a reliable system for determining which is which. And 
though it's nice to think there's a legitimate difference, it's 
mostly nice cuz then you can believe that the stuff you make/like 
is truly, scientifically proven to be BETTER than the stuff that 
makes your skin crawl. And that would reassuring. I'd love to 
think my Mountain Goats are better than your Van Halen, but I 
can't prove it. Of course, comments like, "Speak up! I can't hear 
you!" certainly can be helpful, so maybe we do need critques to 
an extent; but I just can't get past the notion that reviews and 
critics and what-not do little more than keep people paranoid 
about their work, and ultimately convince them to make the same 
boring crap everybody else is making.  
And I'll just talk a little more about this, cuz the post is 
already too long, so what's the harm in a little longer? ...Shut 
up. 
OK, so, lately I've thought quite a bit about if there can be any 
determinable difference between good art and bad art, and 
currently, the best I can come up with is that good art is honest 
and comes from the heart, and the rest of art comes from 
bullshitting. Which I think is sort of what Roth was saying: 
mostly you're just gonna have to know for yourself if what you're 
doing is worthwhile or not. I guess that's all. Though I will 
gladly expound on these ideas if given any instigation... so 
beware.
Jasmsl

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 20:21:02 GMT     IP: 205.188.193.26

:I mean, for a review to be useful, to have to accept the idea 
:that there is such a thing as "bad art" and "good art", and that 
:there is a reliable system for determining which is which. And 
:though it's nice to think there's a legitimate difference, it's 
:mostly nice cuz then you can believe that the stuff you 
make/like 
:is truly, scientifically proven to be BETTER than the stuff that 
:makes your skin crawl.

I think that there are such things as successful and unsuccessful 
art, assuming that the artist is trying to do some certain thing 
to the audience, which he is.  Whether the art succeeds in doing 
the thing or not is pretty objective: if people are reporting 
that it did, then the artist will know she was doing something 
right.  That's useful.  For example, when I draw a thing, which 
is about once a year, the effect I'm going for is "That's 
pretty.  I should be Merideth's friend."  Any other response will 
make me decide that the drawing was bad/unsuccessful and that I 
should try something else next time.

:currently, the best I can come up with is that good art is 
honest 
:and comes from the heart, and the rest of art comes from 
:bullshitting.

I am immediately suspicious of this proposal because of all the 
poetry I've read that's come straight from the hearts of young 
people.  So much of it made my eyes/ears wish that they could 
bleed in protest, which was certainly not what the artist 
intended.  The one thing you can say for this crap is that it is 
honest and that it comes from the heart, but I for one am not 
about to call it good art if such a thing exists.

Merideth

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 20:46:16 GMT     IP: 209.56.113.212

"The answer to that last one: you crave attention due to your low 
self-esteem, which you have earned because you are stupid."

What the hell is up with that?

A.  This person did make some valuable comments.  There are lots 
of people out there who aren't comfortable with giving negative 
comments.  You are right in thinking that this makes them bad 
critics but does that make them bad people?  Does that make them, 
as you put it, stupid?  Hell no.  It just makes you come off as 
an intolerant asshole who couldn't see past the first paragraph 
of the review.  Notice I did not say that this is what you are 
since I don't know you but that is certainly what you came across 
as.  True, it was a piss poor way to review something but this 
person was an audience member and what they think is valuable.  I 
didn't see any other non-performers give their thoughts.

B.  You don't know this person.  Hell, I don't even know this 
person even though he/she said he/she knows me. (sorry if you're 
reading this.  I'm horrible with names and faces).  You accused 
this person of not helping anyone.  Suppose you are right and 
this person has no self-esteem, which judging by the fact that 
they feel their opinion matters enough to post you are wrong. Do 
YOU think you are helping THEM by calling them stupid?

So you had some constructive criticism about the way this person 
reviewed the show.  That's good.  But then you decided to ruin it 
by deciding insults was the way to go.  Not so good.

-dan

Time: Thu, 02-Nov-2000 22:19:45 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.30

:I've been becoming convinced reviews are an inherently 
:silly idea 

     For artists making art for an audience, and to the extent 
that said artist cares about what said audience thinks/ how 
audience is relating to said art, then for these people, for this 
purpose, criticism is useful.  "Review" as we're talking about it 
would seem to be a NST version of the summary-plus-judgement-call 
capsule descriptions of movies/ tv shows that run in daily papers 
and get confused with Criticism... New York Times Review of Books 
notwitstanding.
     Artists making art soley for themselves as some kind of 
navel-gazing trek inward towards crickey-knows-what don't need 
feedback, nor an audience.

:for a review to be useful, [you] have to accept the idea 
:that there is such a thing as "bad art" and "good art"

      For good criticism to be useful you have to accept that art 
can be effective/ ineffective/ unintendedly effective, that art 
can succeed in it's goals or fail in the same.
      IE, if you say "Chris, all the throwaway gross-out gags are 
both pandering to the audience and a crutch in your work that 
prevents people from noticing the complex narratives you've been 
trying to lace, and usually clash distractingly with character 
continuity," it's USEFUL to me, because it recognizes what I'm 
attempting and offers suggestions on how to mash that potato 
smoothlier.

:and that there is a reliable system for determining which is 
:which

    Good critics do not pretend they are much more than a Lone 
Voice, giving a first hand account of how they felt inside their 
hearts and brainpans when some art got hurled at them.  Sadly, 
many, including many of us ("us" inclusive) are Good Men but very 
Bad Critics.
     When I read a Roger Ebert review, I think back to first 
grade and this worksheet called "Fact Or Opinion?"  I can 
differentiate between Ebert dismissing "Wild At Heart" and the 
film actually being garbage, because I know the review is only 
unequivocal re: the opinion of Ebert.  The review doesn't tell me 
"'Wild at Heart' is self-indulgent and sniggering," it tells me 
"Ebert feels 'Wild at Heart' is self-indulgent and sniggering, 
but he doesn't like David Lynch as a rule, so from this review I 
gather: this film offers MORE of the material that causes Ebert 
to dislike David Lynch, which happens to be why I DO like Lynch, 
and I can make my own choices accordingly."

:good art is honest and comes from the heart, and the rest of art 
:comes from bullshitting

     The master bullshitter Orson Welles, and the cold, heartless 
clinician Alfred Hitchcock are two of my favorite artists.
     Likewise, "Teen Wolf" seems to be neither from the heart and 
a bunch of bullshit, and it is great fun.  It doesn't succeed on 
its intended terms, but it finds a WAY, you see, and if I don't 
spread that word, AKA CRITICIZE, how are the creators of "Teen 
Wolf" going to know that they've succeeded? And more importantly 
HOW they succeeded?
    J. Rosenbaum is a film critic, and he wrote an article, 
subject: who "can" criticize ("qualified critics") in our 
society?  And who SHOULD criticize?  Answer is: everybody who 
consumes art and cares about it can be, and should be as vocal a 
critic as they can muster.
    Good/bad criticism is, indeed, useless and stupid, so knock 
it off, all of you or I'll call the super, and he's gonna be 
pissed.
               -Rev. Chris Stangl, dashiki lover

Time: Fri, 03-Nov-2000 21:35:11 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.230

:here is my advice to anyone planning to do a monologue: keep 
:it short, keep it good

    Also: use the space, and make the audience use their 
eyeballs.  If the audience doesn't have to use their eye, then 
are you writing for theatre, or might you as well be doing radio 
or stand-up?
   While it's often interesting to look at someone's head on a 
stage talking, not moving much (Spalding Grey, Chris Okiishi), 
and this that is the oldest storytelling tradition, remember that 
none of us are storytellers of Grey/ Okiishi calibre, and it's 
not terribly "theatrical," so give your body some things to do, 
even if its just striking "Vogue" poses.
              -Rev. Stangl

Time: Fri, 03-Nov-2000 21:55:53 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.230

:Has any y'all adapted monologues from other types of writing?  

     I am only writing this because you asked, and wouldn't bore 
anyone with writing process stories otherwise.
   I drastically re-vamped "The Monster's Head" from a monologue 
in a "screenplay" originally penned in high school, called "La 
Monotonia." This involved removal a visual montage, construction 
of a new framing story from the ground up, and streamlining of 
the once ten-page segment.
   "Teen Wolf" was a sketch I wrote with input from Arlen, Jamal 
and Mark, and was constructed entirely of actual (compressed) 
scenes from the film "Teen Wolf."  No comment.
   My Hallowe'en piece last year was a faux Irish ghost story, 
and for verisimilitude, first I wrote it "straight" (i.e. 
"scary," i.e. "no jokes") then went back through and added 
"jokes."
   Similarly I did a piece called "Over In Chinatown" which sat 
on my metaphoric desk as a poem for four months before I hosed it 
down with semi-jokes and inflated it for NS.
   The most success I've had with "adaptations" for No Shame is 
by taking something written for some other forum but which is too 
long for NST and hacking out the dead-wood and baroque 
curliques.  I did this twice, with "Comedy Is Funny" and "...to 
the Sun," both five-minute plays I've test-flown at NST. They are 
not monolgues, though, so you don't care.

   I add, though, that if you simply want to read a short story, 
feel free. NST welcomes any and all performance art and reader's 
theatre, poetry readings and prose pieces are included.
   Be warned that these are not typically popular, unless the 
poem is being read by Dan Brooks or Willie Barbour.

:More to the point has any y'all done it successfully?

    ... No.

    -Travelin' through hyperspace ain't
        like dustin' crops, Chris "Azzbone the Band" Stangl

Time: Sat, 04-Nov-2000 01:27:03 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.46

::The answer to that last one: you crave attention due to your low 
::self-esteem, which you have earned because you are stupid.
:
:What the hell is up with that?

Golly, I'd never thought you actually had to be intelligent in any 
facility to get "tongue in cheek" humor.  I guess I was wrong.

--Al "I've been looked at before" Angel

Time: Sat, 04-Nov-2000 01:42:24 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.13

:::The answer to that last one: you crave attention due to your 
low 
:::self-esteem, which you have earned because you are stupid.
::
::What the hell is up with that?
:
:Golly, I'd never thought you actually had to be intelligent in 
any 
:facility to get "tongue in cheek" humor.  I guess I was wrong.
:
:--Al "I've been looked at before" Angel


   Tongue in cheek humor?  
   Or was the line commenting on itself?

    - Arlen

P.S.  More like tongue in BUTT humor!  Ha ha!  Get it?

Time: Sat, 04-Nov-2000 01:47:23 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.95

     The master bullshitter Orson Welles, and the cold, heartless 
:
clinician Alfred Hitchcock are two of my favorite artists.
:

Yeah, I know what you mean. And really, I agree with pretty much 
everything you said, in a way. I suppose "reviews are good"/ 
"reviews are bad" is simplifying things more than a little. But 
I'd still say reviews are much less important than they're often 
made out to be. Especially since, and I'm gonna get fruity and 
pretentious here, I have some fundamental problems with the idea 
of making art with your audience in mind anyway. Don't get me 
wrong, I do it, everybody over 3 years old does it. And I can see 
the benefits, too, to an extent: An art fag wants to connect with 
his or her audience, and, for better or for worse, wants the 
audience to like his or her work. And how can you do that without 
feedback? Yeah, I see that. I can for real. But, if your goal is 
making art your audience will like, you're likely to stick to the 
stuff you already _know_ they like. Which leads to a narrow range 
in terms of what artists are willing to make, which leads to 
people only being exposed to and accepting that narrow range of 
art, which perpetuates itself until someone gets tired of the 
confines and tries to branch out a bit. Which happens all the 
time. But it seems like a much sadder, slower artistic 
evolutionary proccess than might occur if people just made art 
however the hell they wanted to and didn't give a second thought 
to what other people would say about it. I think that would 
ultimately make for a much more diverse and meaningful array of 
art. In all its prissy forms.
As for "from the heart"="good", "bullshit"="bad"- don't get me 
wrong, I like the cynical posturing of an emotionless indie 
rowker as much as the next guy, and I, too, wince at the earnest 
musings  of many a high school poet. But maybe I shouldn't! ...Or 
maybe I should, I really don't know. I'm not gonna pretend I've 
got this all figgered out. But they ("they"=them) say that in 
art, your inent is everything, and your finished product counts 
for nothing. And sometimes I agree with that. 

Time: Sat, 04-Nov-2000 23:12:38 GMT     IP: 64.197.225.21

   
    It's on my website now.  Flappers and Clowns.  You know how 
many?  Three!  Part three is on my website.  You can look. 
angelfire.com/in2/thedickens

   Also, I sent it to Jeff, so it will be up here soon.


                -Arlen  

Time: Sun, 05-Nov-2000 06:27:09 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

Here we go:

1)   Wink Wink Nudge Nudge by Jason "the Ass-Champ"
2)   Separating The Cowboys from the Cowmen by Chris Stangl
3)   A Cup of Coffee by Kevin Swatek
4)   The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed The Earth Into His Asshole by 
Mike Cassady
5)   The Other Face of the Mild Carton by Paul Rust
6)   No Pressure, No Pain by Nozebone the Band
7)   For the Love of Kim Marra by Al Angel
8)   To Answer Your Question, Since You've Asked by Chris Okiishi
9)   Man of Action by Dan Fairchild
10)  You Never Forget an Elephant by Alyssa Bowman
11)  The Flapper and the Clown Pt. III:  Artificial Heart.  A 
Serial Monologue by Arlen Lawson
12)  Straightman Stands Tall Straightman Conquers All by Alexxx, 
Steven Slye, and Ben Hymen
13)  A Piece of Mind by Mike Ioriatti
14)  The Newest Orphan by Neil "Balls" Campbell
15)  Winonna, autobiography by Chris Stangl

Time: Sun, 05-Nov-2000 23:08:05 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.116

hey yall in iowa city, this is luke pingel here. im writing in 
response to stubble's question about a possible cedar falls best 
of no shame. i think what were going to do is wait until the end 
of next semester to do it, since we only have four shows under 
our g-strings and one left this semester. were still looking 
into other options with future locations and times, and were 
going to be organizing a group of 4 or 5 people much like your 
board of directors to take care of all of the business things 
and to get the word out to everybody. 
we HAVE decided to go every other friday night next semester, so 
if you guys have an off-week toward the end of the semester, it 
would be very possible to schedule our best of then, so we might 
be able to check out each others.
also, we will be posting more scripts on our site in the next 
couple weeks, so check it out and feel free to drop us a message 
in our board room.

hugs and filatio,

luke

Time: Mon, 06-Nov-2000 18:14:14 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.72

No Shame Theatre 11-3-2000

Announcements/ Order: N. Campbell, C. Stangl

1. "Wink Wink Nudge nudge" by Jason the Ass-Chimp
  (Jason the Ass-Chimp [?]; "Bush" and "Dick" not just 
presidential ticket but sexual innuendo; stand-up comedy)
2. "Separating the Cowboys from the Cowmen" by Chris Stangl
  (Lawson, Stangl; "Goofy" cowboys turn to "firewater" for 
solace; comedy sketch)
3. "A Cup of Coffee" by Kevin Swatek
   (Swatek [?]; construction worker relates act of heroism, 
subsequent fame to wife; character monologue)
4. "The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed the Earth into his Asshole" by 
Mike Cassady
   (Okiishi, Campbell; sadistic, hypermasculine Dr. Sagan 
disappointed in "fat" son; comedy sketch)
5. "The Other Face on the Milk Carton" by Paul Rust
   (Rust, ?, Campbell; missing persons report filed on "Judy 
Winslow from Family Matters"; comedy sketch)
6. "No Pressure, No Pain" by Nozebone the Band
   (Hansen, Clark, B. Smith; soothing, so soothing_ to be away 
from you; song)
7. "For the Love of Kim Marra" by Al Angel
   (Angel; spurned man gouges out eyes of love object; comedic 
monologue)
8. "To Answer Your Question, Since You Asked" by Christopher 
Okiishi
    (Okiishi; the cycles of matter, living tissue, and romantic 
disappointment; scientific-comedic monologue)
9. "Man of Action" by Dan Fairchild
    (Fairchild, ?; man wants woman, man rants re: sex appeal of 
women; monologue)
10. "You Never Forget an Elephant" by Alyssa Bowman
    (Cassady, Hansen, Lawson; big fight over book herpes and 
Todd for president!; comedy sketch)
11. "The Flapper and the Clown Pt III: Artificial Heart; a 
serial monologue" by Arlen Lawson
    (Lawson; plot repeatedly twisted as man tussles with 
insanity in time-travelling, clown-hallucinating speakeasy-
busting conclusion; comedic horror monologue)
12. "Straightman  Stands Tall, Straightman Conquers All" by 
Alexx, Steven Slye, and Ben Hymen
    (Alexxx, Slye, Hymen, ?, Skipper ?; awful standup comedian 
gets comeuppance by deranged homosexual sailor; comedy sketch)
13. "A Piece of Mind" by Mike Irtotti
   (Irtotti; five-minute snare drum solo)
14. "The Newest Orphan" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
    (Campbell; recent orphan upset about abandoned pet cat, 
befriends urine-soaked "Rickety Mop"; comedy monologue)
15. "Winona; an autobiography" by Chris Stangl
    (Stangl; Winona Ryder and Chris Stangl meditate in "true 
stories" on celebrity, love, devotion, citrus; "romantic" 
monologue.)

Devour at will,
REV. CHRIS STANGL

Time: Mon, 06-Nov-2000 18:26:08 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.72


   After many researches by myself and the dad of Alyssa Bowman, 
we have determined that Eddie "Pearl" Vedder "Jam" is NOT dead 
from an asphyxiation or a helicopter that crashed.  He is not 
dead at all.  He is fine.  And says "Vote FOR RALPH NAKER"!

        _Chris Stangl. 

Time: Mon, 06-Nov-2000 19:04:33 GMT     IP: 205.188.192.168


1. "Wink Wink Nudge nudge" by Jason the Ass-Chimp
:
  (Jason the Ass-Chimp [?]; "Bush" and "Dick" not just 
:
presidential ticket but sexual innuendo; stand-up comedy)
Monty Python reference aside I didn't care for it too much.  Just 
a bunch of political jokes we have all heard are all tired of 
hearing by now.
:
2. "Separating the Cowboys from the Cowmen" by Chris Stangl
:
  (Lawson, Stangl; "Goofy" cowboys turn to "firewater" for 
:
solace; comedy sketch) I liken Stangl and Arlen drinking from a 
bottle like Dave Foley drinking from a coffee cup.  It just seems 
like the most natural thing this side of the equator.  Comedy in 
brevity.  With these two it always seems to work.
:
3. "A Cup of Coffee" by Kevin Swatek
:
   (Swatek [?]; construction worker relates act of heroism, 
:
subsequent fame to wife; character monologue) I thought it was a 
very interesting character and was developed well.  I kept 
looking for a point but never really got one.  The heart of the 
working class?  A vote for Good in the Man is basically good/bad 
debate?  There are good people out there?  All of the above?  I 
don't know if I was supposed to get anything out of this and if I 
was I don't think I did.
:
4. "The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed the Earth into his Asshole" by 
:
Mike Cassady
:
   (Okiishi, Campbell; sadistic, hypermasculine Dr. Sagan 
:
disappointed in "fat" son; comedy sketch)  There have been a lot 
of Father/Son sketches lately.  This one achieves originality for 
obviously reasons.  Carl Sagan was a kick ass choice.  Did Sagan 
even have a son?  Even better if not.
:
5. "The Other Face on the Milk Carton" by Paul Rust
:
   (Rust, ?, Campbell; missing persons report filed on "Judy 
:
Winslow from Family Matters"; comedy sketch)  Frankly I am 
disgusted that Paul knew that there once was a Judy on Family 
Matters.  Aside from the people who worked on the show how many 
people can claim that knowledge?  Makes me wonder just how many 
Urkel-Ohs Paul has consumed in his life.  I don't know what would 
have been funnier.  Pulling off the Rudy Huxtable joke or fucking 
it up like he did.  I'll toss my vote in the fuck up pile.  Paul 
Rust impresses me.  I want to be him.
:
6. "No Pressure, No Pain" by Nozebone the Band
:
   (Hansen, Clark, B. Smith; soothing, so soothing_ to be away 
:
from you; song) Reminded me a lot of MC 900 Foot Jesus.  Beat 
poetry in a way.  I was soothed.  I wish Nozebone would rely more 
on their own charisma rather than the charisma of their guest 
performers.  I know they got it.  Flaunt that shit.
:
7. "For the Love of Kim Marra" by Al Angel
:
   (Angel; spurned man gouges out eyes of love object; comedic 
:
monologue)  Probably the best I've seen by Al that he has 
performed himself.  His choice of putting one knee on the table 
when the gouging started worked quite well.  Well-written.  His 
technique of talking to the subject of his pieces like they 
weren't there when the event was going on (did that make sense) 
is something I would like to rip off but won't.
:
8. "To Answer Your Question, Since You Asked" by Christopher 
:
Okiishi
:
    (Okiishi; the cycles of matter, living tissue, and romantic 
:
disappointment; scientific-comedic monologue) Thoroughly 
disgusting which would have disappointed me if that were the only 
purpose of this monologue but it went somewhere else with the "if 
I'm not the same man..." thing.  It went somewhere good.  Thank 
you for not disappointing me.
:
9. "Man of Action" by Dan Fairchild
:
    (Fairchild, ?; man wants woman, man rants re: sex appeal of 
:
women; monologue) Okay.  Hear we go.  This was without a doubt my 
worst performance on the No Shame stage or any other stage for 
that matter.  Katherine Brown, the question mark above, did a 
better job than I did by just standing perfectly still and 
keeping that "walking down the street" expression on her face.  
She knew what I was supposed to do.  This was adapted from a 
short story of mine and the entire monologue was supposed to be 
random thoughts going through the guy's head walking down the 
street.  For obvious reasons I couldn't keep walking.  The 
result? An awkward Dan Fairchild with nowhere to go and pitiful, 
stupid hand gestures which often times ended up in his pocket 
which might've worked if he didn't need one hand to hold on to 
his monologue.  So no.  I did not successfully adapt something, 
either.  Bad Dan.  I got the laughs where I wanted and didn't get 
them where I didn't want them but still, three and a half hours 
of sleep the previous night left me fumbling the lines.  I was 
happy with the writing, lack of action aside.  Bullshit, Dan.  
Pure bullshit.
:
10. "You Never Forget an Elephant" by Alyssa Bowman
:
    (Cassady, Hansen, Lawson; big fight over book herpes and 
:
Todd for president!; comedy sketch) This piece, like others I've 
noticed by Bowman, depends on the delivery of the actors 
performing.  That she trusts the performers to pull it off is 
amazing.  I would find it hard.  But of course, the performers as 
well as the audience is familiar with Bowman's style and dammit, 
I like it.  She always succeeds in the "what the fuck?" 
department.  I like the "what the fuck?" department.

I'll finish later.

Time: Mon, 06-Nov-2000 22:05:00 GMT     IP: 63.25.167.71

:5. "The Other Face on the Milk Carton" by Paul Rust
:   (Rust, ?, Campbell; missing persons report filed on "Judy 
:   Winslow from Family Matters"; comedy sketch)

This "?" is Michelle Thompson.


:9. "Man of Action" by Dan Fairchild
:    (Fairchild, ?; man wants woman, man rants re: sex appeal of 
:    women; monologue)

And this "?" is Katherine Brown.

Out solving mysteries,

Balls

Time: Tue, 07-Nov-2000 19:09:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.229


:1. "Wink Wink Nudge nudge" by Jason the Ass-Chimp
  Weak, obvious jokes. Still, the Ass-Chimp was confident in his 
delivery, and that made me chortle a bit. 
:2. "Separating the Cowboys from the Cowmen" by Chris Stangl
Short and funny, sort of like Mad Magazine's "On the Lighter Side," 
only funny.
:3. "A Cup of Coffee" by Kevin Swatek
I agree with Dan here. Swatek revealed what could have been a very 
interesting character, and was a good perfomer (reacting to folks 
who weren't there and stuff) but the story had nothing for me. If 
something more interesting had happened, say something to do witht 
eh kid (which I thought he was leading up to, his life and psyche 
and such) I may have been sold.
:4. "The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed the Earth into his Asshole" by 
:Mike Cassady
Ummmm. I thought it was funny. 
:5. "The Other Face on the Milk Carton" by Paul Rust
It's good to see rust experimenting with forms other than the 
monologic. This piece failed for me simply because it was a one-
joke idea that went on for too long. If it had been shorter, or had 
more twists to it (say the appearance of Judy Winslow) I may have, 
once again, been sold. Good save on the fucked up joke though!
:6. "No Pressure, No Pain" by Nozebone the Band
This song was so easy to play, and so good. Sometimes basic 
repetition is the most effective thing (despite what I just said.)
:7. "For the Love of Kim Marra" by Al Angel
All I can say is, poor Kim. To really love someone is to tear out a 
body part. 
:8. "To Answer Your Question, Since You Asked" by Christopher 
:Okiishi
This, like Rust's monolgue last week, had such a great payoff, that 
I forgave it for going on a little too long to get there.
:9. "Man of Action" by Dan Fairchild
So, I didn't pay a whole lot of attention cuz I was preparing for 
the next one, but I will tell you this: I had a discussion with a 
friend of mine, about whether or not it was reflective of Dan being 
a pig, or if Dan was playing a pig character (like the delightful 
Babe.) I argued for the latter, if that was the case, it was 
effective, cuz she hated it, based on the fact she thought Dan was 
a pig. Dan, you convinced her!
:10. "You Never Forget an Elephant" by Alyssa Bowman
Just yay is all to say.
:11. "The Flapper and the Clown Pt III: Artificial Heart; a 
:serial monologue" by Arlen Lawson
Arlen asked me for feedbakc, and I said that I was struck by the 
prose more than the delivery, and I need to read them before making 
an official review. but like I said, I was struck by the prose and 
the spare but vivid descriptions of people and events and all that 
stuff you always see being described.
:12. "Straightman  Stands Tall, Straightman Conquers All" by 
:Alexx, Steven Slye, and Ben Hymen
Hysterical. Teh image of a ketchup guzzling sailor is burned in my 
meomory (mammary?) forever. What also really made the sketch were 
the bizarre comments by the guys in the "audience." A sort-of MST3K 
post-lobotomy thing. 
:13. "A Piece of Mind" by Mike Irtotti
Yeah, so the drumming was kick-ass, but it went on for a very long 
time. nuff said.
:14. "The Newest Orphan" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
The moment it moved from silly to tragic was perfect, but bringing 
it back to silly was unnecessary. I think it could've ended on the 
orphan crying, and been more effective.
:15. "Winona; an autobiography" by Chris Stangl
I've seen this before, and really liked the addition of the visual 
things (moving back and forth, the magazines, the orange.) Stangl 
was right wehn he said monologues are most effective when you're 
doing something. 

Most of these could just be ignored then. 

Time: Tue, 07-Nov-2000 22:45:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.7

Hello, Nick here.  This is a "citicism" thing.
::1. "Wink Wink Nudge nudge" by Jason the Ass-Chimp
Fine for a first piece(in both senses, i believe) but didn't really 
have a lot to offer.  The jokes were obvious and didn't do anything 
for me.  Good delivery, but dragging an obvious name-pun can only 
go so far.
::2. "Separating the Cowboys from the Cowmen" by Chris Stangl
This was oh so nice.  I liked the whole thing of it.  Except it 
seemed slightly longer than the shortie bits stangl has bean doin 
laterly.
::3. "A Cup of Coffee" by Kevin Swatek
Long, but very well performed.  Solid energy, but for me lacked a 
real rhetorical payoff.  In a way it was a good thing.  An affront 
to the thought that a melodramatic monologue should contain a 
defining 'statement'.
::4. "The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed the Earth into his Asshole" by 
::Mike Cassady
This seemed like pure Cassady.  In a way it reminded me too much of 
prior cassady work (esp. 'Take a Letter'), but if I had never seen 
prior cassady work I would have loved it.  That is to say, probably 
most of the audience loved it.
::5. "The Other Face on the Milk Carton" by Paul Rust
Oh, I was a bit dissapointed by this one.  Firstly bcause we have 
seen Rust write some extremely funny material.  Secondly, because 
it was really exclusive.  You would have to have watched a lot of 
television and paid rapt attention to be in on the 'in' joke of the 
dissapearing daughter.  The explaination of this seemed like a 
pretty feeble attempt to redeem that exclusivity.  Rust's 
performance was good, as was newcomer Michelle Something's (and 
balls', but you knew that) and the save on the Huxtable joke was 
definitely funnier than the joke could have been.
::6. "No Pressure, No Pain" by Nozebone the Band
I love Brad's speaking voice.  Mark does too.  We had a 'song' that 
was spoken.  We needed a good speaking voice.  We got Brad.  It was 
wonderful.  I am nervous and ashamed about these lyrics, since they 
are very personal, but the laying bare of the soul is a nifty way 
to make a fun song.
::7. "For the Love of Kim Marra" by Al Angel
A good mono, sort of.  I read it way before it was performed, and 
it was good.  But it is cruel and disgusting.  Al gave it a very 
frank and solid performance.
::8. "To Answer Your Question, Since You Asked" by Christopher 
::Okiishi
I love when Chris lets being a doctor get in the way of making 
theatre.  It really is a combination which yields wonderful 
results.  Through a comparison of two different forms of 
explication and healing, we get doubly explicated and doubly 
healed.
::9. "Man of Action" by Dan Fairchild
What scared me about this was: A: I identified with a lot of the 
thinking in it, and B: taken just a step or two farther, that 
thinking is a justification for rape.  Thank you, Dan for so 
terrifyingly challnging my thinking.  A very effective piece.
::10. "You Never Forget an Elephant" by Alyssa Bowman
If I remember more about this piece later, I will review it.
::11. "The Flapper and the Clown Pt III: Artificial Heart; a 
::serial monologue" by Arlen Lawson
This was a wonderful wrapping up of something which I was afraid 
would be clutching at straws after the second act.  The 
descriptions of people from the 1920s as a different type of human 
being was really interesting, because, do you really think that a 
child born today could grow up and look like Buster Keaton by 2022?
::12. "Straightman  Stands Tall, Straightman Conquers All" by 
::Alexx, Steven Slye, and Ben Hymen
I don't know how to review this except to say that these guys have 
hit on something new, wonderful and incredible.  The genuine 
violence in their pieces makes them shine as unique gems of comic 
pioneering.  That sounded pretentious.  I like them beat up ketchup 
guys.
::13. "A Piece of Mind" by Mike Irtotti
Virtuosic talent is one thing.  Virtuosic talent which tries to 
pass itself off as showpersonship is another.  Words like 'booyah' 
give one's stage presence a concieted and unapproachable character.  
Also, this was just way too loud to be in theatre B.  I stared 
looking for an excedrin pretty soon after he started playing.
::14. "The Newest Orphan" by Neil "Balls" Campbell
Balls accomplishes something in his monologues which i don't think 
any other NS person does.  I don't know what that is, so this 
comment is utterly valueless.
::15. "Winona; an autobiography" by Chris Stangl
I loved the way that the orange became such an important part of 
the character of Winona and made a clear distinction between her 
and Chris.  Also, I loved seeing the pictures of her on the 
magazines in the background, just because she's really gorgeous.  
From now on I will put pictures of Winona Ryder in the back of 
anything I do at No Shame.  It was enough to make this piece work 
for me, of course the piece didn't stop at just having pictures of 
ms ryder, but it would have been enough - for me it would have been 
enough.  the great thing was the contrast in the language used by 
ryder to that used by stangl.  despite the fact that ryder is older 
than stangl, she uses a childish diction, especially appearant 
through the contrast, and helpful in dissolving the 'star'-ness of 
ms ryder.  What am I talking about now?  I donno.  Someday I will 
learn to get some rest before I write a review.
-Inky

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 01:05:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Hey, this is Tom with a few things to say about this week.  
First, I arrived late so I won't even try to comment on the whole 
show.  But, there are three bits that I almost feel obliged to 
respond to.

::6. "No Pressure, No Pain" by Nozebone the Band
I definitely have to say that I liked this song.  To my 
recollection, it's my favorite Nozebone song of all time.  Last 
week, I said that Nozebone is a "running gag" on the verge of 
becoming "redundant."  This song proved me wrong.  The eerie 
feeling created by the keyboard and spoken lyrics is an effect 
that went over beautifully.  Changing instruments around like 
that lets you guys keep things fresh andopens up a new world of 
possibilities for your music.

::11. "The Flapper and the Clown Pt III: Artificial Heart; a 
::serial monologue" by Arlen Lawson
Very cool.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect from a piece being 
broken up over three weeks, but the delivery was consistent and 
good.  You kept the audience guessing the entire time.  This was 
the first such piece that I've seen, but I'd like to see more.  I 
haven't looked at the monologue in its entirity yet, but I'm 
pretty sure it would stand on its own as a tripped out kind of 
horror story.

::12. "Straightman  Stands Tall, Straightman Conquers All" by 
::Alexx, Steven Slye, and Ben Hymen
Hmmm...  I can't exactly respond to this bit with indifference or 
disgust because it didn't suck.  While I'm not generally a fan of 
the skits of your that I've seen, I did find this quite 
enjoyable.  The sailor with the ketchup was a twist nobody 
expected.  It was so disgusting it made one want to vomit and 
laugh at the same time (which is surely a biological 
impossibility).

Last week you posted a message claiming that I would be the 
object of satire on Friday; "thank you for finishing my line. 
Your contribution to the performance is what I strive for."  
Well, I got a kick out of the numerous ways you twisted my words, 
actions, and reviews into harsh jokes for your own benifit.  

Being satirized in any form, no matter how vile, is a form of 
recognition that one must earn.  Thus, I thought you guys were 
worth watching for once.  And, according to several friends, I 
should be honored that you would even take the time to write 
something in reaction to my skits.  Find a new target next time 
so the joke doesn't get old.  So, thanks for everything except 
the way you portrayed me as a bad Jerry Seinfeld wannabe.

'Nuff Said-
Tom Kovacs

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 02:22:19 GMT     IP: 24.10.172.236

I am terribly sorry that you took our skit on Friday night to be 
directed at you.  

Once again, you are incorrect in your interpretation of our work.

My friend and colleage, Benjamin Heinen, did write a message in 
response to your incorrect interpretation of our work last week.  
I have read his message, and I am confused by your belief that 
this message served as a prototype for our material this week.  
Regardless, this simply is not the case.  Your belief that our 
skit this week was intended for you is no more warranted than my 
hypothetical belief that the grizzley bear in your skit last week 
was representative of my abnormally hairy ass.

Thanx, Steven G. Slye

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 05:25:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Right, so I misinterpreted this skit.  But, I enjoyed it all the 
more because of that.  No need apologising, I ain't offended.

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 07:49:58 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.53


Announcements/ Order: N. Campbell, C. Stangl

For some reason, the audience seemed really dead at the beginning 
of the announcements/order.  It made me really uncomfortable 
because I thought it would mean bad things for the energy of the 
whole show.  But then Neil made everything good again.  I think 
with his chair stunts.  Was this the night that there were chair 
stunts?  If yes then hooray for Neil for saving the order.


1. "Wink Wink Nudge nudge" by Jason the Ass-Chimp
  (Jason the Ass-Chimp [?]; "Bush" and "Dick" not just 
presidential ticket but sexual innuendo; stand-up comedy)

What everyone else said.  About the one obvious joke being 
dragged out for too long.  I didn't think that this sort of 
seventh-grade-esque humor was very funny even in seventh grade.

2. "Separating the Cowboys from the Cowmen" by Chris Stangl

I forget what happened, except that they drank and I laughed, but 
not quite in that order.  I liked how there was enough room in 
that town for the both of them.  And how Chris had a hat that was 
not a hat.  I just remembered that.  It was all funny and good.

3. "A Cup of Coffee" by Kevin Swatek
   (Swatek [?]; construction worker relates act of heroism, 
subsequent fame to wife; character monologue)

I was starting to be bothered by how long the man rambled about 
his day, and was waiting for something else to happen that was 
going to be the point.  But then it turned out to be about how 
long the man rambled about his day, and this made me feel sad 
and a little bit betrayed.  I'm sad that this was what the thing 
was about, but since it was about that, the guy did a really good 
job of getting his point across.  So the piece was successful.  
I'm still sad.

4. "The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed the Earth into his Asshole" by 
Mike Cassady
   (Okiishi, Campbell; sadistic, hypermasculine Dr. Sagan 
disappointed in "fat" son; comedy sketch)

Yeah, it was really funny.  Do I ever know why I like something?  
The answer is no.  I'm sure this is very unhelpful, but hooray 
for Mike Cassady.

5. "The Other Face on the Milk Carton" by Paul Rust
   (Rust, ?, Campbell; missing persons report filed on "Judy 
Winslow from Family Matters"; comedy sketch)

I heard someone wondering--just a few days before I saw this 
piece--what happened to that other Winslow daughter.  I thought 
this was neat.  I don't think one needed to know that someone 
disappeared from Family Matters to "get" this piece.  

6. "No Pressure, No Pain" by Nozebone the Band
   (Hansen, Clark, B. Smith; soothing, so soothing_ to be away 
from you; song)

Nozebone the Band has done some wondering about why people 
sometimes laugh at their songs, which are not comedy songs.  I 
think someone of Nozebone may have wondered if they were doing 
something wrong since people weren't supposed to be laughing. 
What Nozebone the Band might think about is that people are 
liable to laugh at all sorts of things, not just things that are 
funny the way a comedy song is funny.  Things that are 
unexpected, clever, or strange are going to make some people 
laugh.  Nozebone songs frequently have bits that are unexpected, 
clever, or strange.  I think I have laughed at least once during 
every Nozebone song, though I realize that they are not supposed 
to be funny and though I take them seriously.  Mostly I have 
laughed out of delight.  

This song was really neat.  A keyboard was neat.  Spoken lines 
were neat.  I think it is my favorite Nozebone song so far.  The 
music and the words and the sound of Brad together created this 
gorgeous seemless thing which, I think, succeeded in being 
exactly what it wanted to be from start to finish.  It was . . . 
whole.  Nozebone the Band is totally pantycats and I hope it 
sticks around.

The election results were just announced, so I am going to 
bed/cry.

Merideth,
1/149

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 16:23:52 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.16


:The election results were just announced, so I am going to 
:bed/cry.
:
:Merideth,
:1/149


But they were WRONG weren't they!  Creepy, huh?  Anyone willing to 
put some money on this thing?

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 20:22:25 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.232

I need to know: who will be in town the weekend after 
Thanksgiving- Sat. the 25th?! I am planning a SPECIAL party just 
for YOU and I want to know if you will be here or if perhaps the 
weekend before that would work better (Sat. the 18th). So email 
me and tell me what it is, Gofndam! Thanks you I love it!
-Jamal "I Love It!" River "I love" "You!"

Me: "frackledart@hotmail.com"  

Tell me where you are!!!

Time: Wed, 08-Nov-2000 22:28:08 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.61

As a member of the No Shame audience for the last couple of 
years, I'd like to say that I'm glad to see the so called 
"Violence guys" performing every week. They bring a whole 
different type of piece to No Shame that is not only funny but 
also a little bit frightening. I like to see them get thrown, as 
long as none of them get smashed. I hope they keep up these 
skits. 

Time: Thu, 09-Nov-2000 02:30:50 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.164

egocentric...?

apologising.......or apologizing?

weiner...?

Mr.....Blank?

Time: Thu, 09-Nov-2000 08:02:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

Probably I will drop this because I evidently don't understand 
you guys and an argument like this is stupid.  Perhaps I am 
egocentric.  Perhaps I just don't think along the same wavelength 
as you.  And Perhaps this feedback is useless because neither one 
of us should be offended.

But...

It truly doesn't matter that I didn't interpret this the way you 
wanted me to or not.  Through my interpretation I was identifying 
with your skit and finding a lot of good things about it.

Perhaps you haven't seen those other reviews?  People like you 
guys, and were quite complimentary this week.

Through one interpretation or another (many of which probably 
aren't exactly what you intended), you reached people in the 
audience.  That is at least part of your goal, right?

If you want to argue with me any more, wait until next week!
Tom

Time: Thu, 09-Nov-2000 21:08:36 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.99

DO YOU WANNOO HEAR THE BRAND NEW KING TOAD SONG, "BLEEDING PT. 
1", FROM THE BRAND NEW, SO-SOON-TO-BE-RELEASED KING TOAD ALBUM 
"HOW TO DECOMPOSE"? (Yes, you do) OK SO GO TO MY WEBSITE 
"www.angelfire.com/ia/kingtoad"  AND LISTEN TO IT 100 TIMES FOR 
SO MUCH FUN AND COOL! 
Also, it is pretty much split down the middle as to when this 
here party should take place (Nov 18th? Nov 25th?) so if you 
haven't yet, tell me what you think, chachi!
Bye.
Jamal

Time: Sat, 11-Nov-2000 08:51:10 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.150

The order, 11/10/00
I will try my best to do annotations.

1.  "The 80 Proof Lysistrata" by Chris Stangl (C. Stangl, Arlen 
Lawson--C drinks a lot of rum; comedy sketch)

2.  "Hello, My Name Is Buzzer" by Brandon Peterson (B. Peterson--B 
talks from behind the curtain as if he is a Pez dispenser; comedic 
monologue)

3.  "Your Permanent Record" by Paul Rust (P. Rust--P, as an 
admissions adviser to a university, admonishes a half-assed 
gunboy; comedic/character monologue)

4.  "Bicycle Song" by Nozebone the Band (M. Hansen and N. Clark-- 
they play musical instruments and sing musical words about 
bicycles; musical song)

5.  "Pee" by Joe Brokken by Joe Brokken (J. Brokken--J describes 
the results of different things happening with pee--blue, cocaine, 
etc.; comedic monologue)

6.  "A Thousand Points of White" by Aprille Clarke (A. Clarke--A 
applies for a job  for President-Elect/white supremecist Bush; 
comedic/character monolgue)

7.  "Dan Brooks is Dead:  A Five-Minute Expos‚" by Al Angel (C. 
Stangl and N"B". Campbell--C and N"B" repeat the same 3 lines 
about butts/faces with varying actions--comedy sketch)

8.  "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Burger" by Markus Jerome 
Hansen (M. Hansen--M talks about learning to love himself due to 
common interests--comedic/character monologue)

9.  "Hammy the Gerbil:  Or How I ruined my ex-best friend's 
wedding night" by Drew Drescher (D. Drescher--D describes how he 
trained animals to speak dead languages and included the phrase 
"fire crotch;"  comedic/character monologue)

10.  "If the Wooden Teeth Could Speak" by Thomas Kovacs (T. 
Kovaks, N"B". Campbell, A. Galbraith--T ponders the role of George 
Washington on our currency and our lives; N"B" and A fight each 
other; comedic monologue/comedy sketch)

11.  "The Rubber Butcher" by Dan Fairchild (D. Fairchild--D. hacks 
up a stuffed animal and expresses his frustration over the 
butchery industry; comedic/character monologue)

12.  "The Time I Was in Heaven" by Sam "The Jackass" Negron 
(S."TJ" Negron--S."TJ." enjoys sex, meat, and sometimes movies, 
with varying levels of success; comedic monologue)

12.5  "Games" by Christopher Okiishi (C. Okiishi--C. ruminates on 
the significance of working too hard to please others and avoid 
disappointing them through CD's, porn, and children's games; 
comedic/dramatic monologue)

13.  "Crescendo" by Benjamin Heinen, Steven Slye, and Alexxx (B. 
Heinen, S. Slye, A3x, P. Kanwar, L. Viner, J. Walton--chess, 
violin, screaming man, child wants TV; multimedia comedy 
sketch...i think)

14.  "The Deconstructionist Act" by Neil "Balls" Campbell (N"B" 
Campbell, M. Hansen, A. Galbraith--N"B" hates his father and hopes 
to make his father hate him, M. ate a cat, A. is a snuggly kitty 
who claws people; comedic/character monologue/comedy sketch)

15.  "O Sing -&- I Will Rise to Follow" by Chris Stangl (C. Stangl--
man gets head stuck under garage and learns the true meaning of 
friendship, nearly stabs self with vegetable peeler; comedic/
dramatic/character monologue)

Time: Sat, 11-Nov-2000 22:00:03 GMT     IP: 206.150.146.108

Balls, you are so cool, so funny.  If you had a missing cat (do 
you, I'm confused), I would look for it and then give it to you.  
Although, I would probably keep it for a couple days and feed it 
some food and  pretend it was my cat.  That would be super cool, 
if you found Frisco with a litter of kittens...unless Frisco is a 
boy.  Or maybe that would be even cooler, that you thought Frisco 
was a boy all this time, then you find Frisco and discover not 
only is she a girl, but a mommy as well.  Maybe if I found 
Frisco, I would also go find some kittens somewhere like a farm 
or a pet store and I would be like "Hey Neil,look, Frisco had 
kittens!"  Wow, that would be awesome.

Time: Sat, 11-Nov-2000 22:51:52 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.69

Aprille, excellent annotations to the order, though I would be 
remiss if I did not mention that my piece also featured one Arlen 
Lawson, and one Mike Cassady.

Also, just so nobody goes out looking for this thing, "Frisco" is 
a fictional cat. However, if anybody comes across a cat I might 
like, I would still gladly accept it.

Buy King Toad's new album!

Just Some Guy,

Balls

Time: Sun, 12-Nov-2000 04:15:51 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.208

So guess what?!!!  Not only is this NS season rapidly coming to a 
close, but the big bad board is getting together NEXT WEEKEND for 
the BONS meeting (or so the rumor mill, i.e., the board, says)!  
"Shit," I say to myself, "I gotta get out there and let those 
people know what I think goes in that show, with crunch week or 
WITHOUT!!!!"  (without)  So, even though crunch week has yet to 
be, here are my BONS picks.
This year, having finally accepted how BONS works, I'm just gonna 
list authors and the stuff that stood out to me as being the best 
this season, with the idea in mind that each author gets one (1) 
piece in the order.
Pieces that just HAVE to be in the show will be marked like so:  
***


C. Okiishi:
I like Dick
Letter of Apology
Faithless
To Answer you question, since you Asked

Mose Hayward (I know he ain't here no more, but you can eat it):
The Dissipating Spinal Adhesive of Love Starring Dan Brooks as 
the Spinal Adhesive
The Standup, The Omelet, The Bike Pump, The Penis

Jarlen Lawson:
Flashlight is Here
Homemade Surgery
What Became of Tom Thumb?

J. River (I know we're operating on the one per author principle 
here, but these are all just too, too good):
This is the way we Rock the Fun House of Cool***
Hammin' It Up on a A Side of "Wry"ness***
Flippin' the Grandma Switch ***

N. Ballz:
Pee
This is You
Necktie Sindclair
Cary and Me
The Newest Orphan

R. Stangl:
Kevin Spacey
The Fight
The Joshuas needed a Fence
O Sing -&- I will Rise to Follow

Nozebone the Band:
Widower Moon
I wanna be a Rock -&- Roll Band
Umbrella
No Pressure, No Pain
Bicycle Song

K. Lang:
Argg!

A. B. Bowman:
Burgertime
Why I like Mose, or, Dudes with Attitude
Dr. Mario!
You never forget an Elephant***

D. Deeley:
Arron

R. F. Angel:
Face
Love in the world_
For the love of Kim Marra
Dan Brooks is Dead

S. Galbraith:
Wrap that Rascal
S'ghetti Meets Balls (with N. Ballz) (might not work so well 2nd 
time)

R. Greenlaw:
Jumping Jack Flash has Gas, Gas, Gas

M. Cassady:
This Monologue does not Love You
The Day Carl Sagan Stuffed the Earth into his Asshole

P. R. Rust:
All my friends have been on Covers of E. W.
Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour

N. Hansen:
Sweeney Todd Bass: the Willie Barbour of Chew Street***

Violence Guys (Heinen, Slye, Alexxx):
I am Announcer Man
Straightman stands tall, Straightman conquers all***

That's all_

Your personal Oedipus Complex,
--Al

Time: Sun, 12-Nov-2000 23:54:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.159

hello, i just wanted everyone to know that i am doing well, 
considering the rather unfortunate accident that occurred last 
friday, and coincidentally took my head off.  the doctors said i 
should be out of the hospital in about two days, but that there 
was "no way in hell" they could get my body and my head back 
together again.  but don't fret ladies, i'm still as frisky as 
ever, and my number is 353-0667 if you wanna give me a call 
tuesday night.  thanks for the flowers and the jar of dung(i know 
that was you paul rust, *wink), and i'll see you all next week.

love
buzzer

Time: Mon, 13-Nov-2000 02:02:21 GMT     IP: 128.255.56.5

a few ideas of things that could be in the Best of:                                                      C. Stangl:
Cowboys/Cowmen, Jelly, Fight                                                             A. Angel: Dan Brooks,
Death of Jar                                                        Alexxx et al: Straightman                                     
                    P.Rust: Jesus, Entertainment Weekly                                                       B.Schmidt:
Passion                                                              D. Deeley: Cookie                                                 
             J. Jar: Paste                                                            M. Hansen: Sweeney                           
                               Sghetti + Balls                                                         D. Fairchild: Rubber
Butcher                                                            J. River: WizArd, Ham
A. Bowman: James, Zelda                                                              B. Campbell: Tanaki, Jungle     
                                                         R. Greenlaw: Flash                                                             
C. Okiishi: Faithless                                                            B. Smith: Monologues                         
                                 Flypaper: Underwater                                                            Please include
a Aprille thing too.                                                          If you want a Nozebone the Band song,
any one except for the first one I would be willing to re-perform, but I don't know Johnny
Handsome's opinion on this yet.

Time: Mon, 13-Nov-2000 04:39:52 GMT     IP: 166.62.45.54

I assume they already announced this at Friday's No Shame, but I 
will post it here as well:
The party I've spoken of will be Sat, Nov 18th. Not the 25th as 
I'd suggested before. It is the "Mark Hansen's bithday 
party/King Toad CD release party" you've been waiting your whole 
life for. Love and frosting for Mark, alcohol for your mouth, 
and a new Toad CD for your soul. Don't like King Toad?: Come for 
the Mark Hansen! Don't like Mark Hansen?: Why you be such a 
fucker!? I joke with you, Fucker: even if you hate the Mark and 
hate the Toad, you may still come into my house (Alyssa will be 
mean to you, but there's nothing I can do about that). 
Sat Nov 18th, 9-ish, 1314 2nd Ave. Email me if you need 
directions. I love you!

Your man,
Jamal

Time: Mon, 13-Nov-2000 09:56:54 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.58


Will there not be some No Shame going on this weekend that would 
be elligible for Best Of?  I think there will; however, it is 
not too soon for me to list what I think is the best of no 
shame, for I will be out of town next weekend:


Jamal River - This is the Way We Rock The Fun House of Cool
Arlen Lawson - Elephant Memory and Cauliflower Ear
Arlen Lawson - Walking in the Eating Paste Place
Aprille Clarke (accompanied by Elton) - Pinker Than a Baby's 
Butt When the Baby Has a Mild Case of Diaper Rash
Christopher Okiishi - Come Again?
Kehry Lane - Maybe Grandma was the Big Bad Wolf
Neil "Balls" Campbell - THIS IS YOU
Chris Stangl - Where Were You When JFK's Head Exploded?
Aaron Galbraith - Wrap That Rascal
Mark J. Hansen - Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of Chew 
Street
Brad Smith - Two Monologues
Alyssa Bowman - The Legend of Zelda (was taken from my house by 
Mose's little brother, Louie Hayward)
Al Angel - Love in the world as it appears to me in a hospital 
and in Lou Henri's on a Friday morning after I had a dream about 
being beaten up by a swat team. A present for Joanna and Troy. 
Paul Rust - Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour
Jamal River - Flippin' The Grandma Switch
Dan Fairchild - The Rubber Butcher
Nozebone the Band [the sexiest thing without a record contract] 
- No Pressure, No Pain
Alyssa Bowman - You Never Forget an Elephant
Al Angel - Dan Brooks is Dead: A Five-Minute Expos‚
Benjamin Heinen, Steven Slye, and Alexxx [you know I love you, 
but I'm still telling your dad I saw you naked]- Crescendo

Time: Mon, 13-Nov-2000 20:00:21 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.211

My opinions on body odor no shame (aka BONS)
Arlen Lawson - Homemade surgery
Christopher Okiishi - response to the letter one
Kehry Lane - Maybe Grandma was the Big Bad Wolf
Neil "Balls" Campbell - THIS IS YOU
Chris Stangl - Oh Sing and I will Stab my Leg with a Potato Peeler
Markus Jerome Hansen - Sweeney Todd Bass: The Willie Barbour of 
Chew Street
Brad S. Van Smith - Two Monologues
Alyssa Bowman - You Never Forget an Elephant
Al Angel - Love in the world as it appears to me in a hospital 
and in Lou Henri's on a Friday morning after I had a dream about 
being beaten up by a swat team. A present for Joanna and Troy. 
Paul Rust - Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour
Nozebone the Band- No Pressure, No Pain
Benjamin Heinen, Steven Slye, and Alexxx- StraightMan Stands Tall, 
Straight Man Conquers All. 
 Plus maybe Aprille's from last friday (1,000 points of White, I 
think), a Ben Schmidt song, and anything else your little heart 
desires. Like maybe one of those quickie Stangl-Lawson joints. 

The cages -&- courageous,
M. Jeronimo Hansenininin

Time: Tue, 14-Nov-2000 17:43:27 GMT     IP: 24.178.149.42

:Neil "Balls" Campbell - THIS IS YOU

Okay... which one was that one?
See, I get very confused when it comes to these "titles" on all 
of these different things.. we need one title for everything... 
all books, records, movies.. all of them.. one title.

So, which was "THIS IS YOU"
I know that my favorite piece from Neil this year involved lots 
of paper.  If you do that for Best Of, please try to find some 
100% post-consumer product paper and make it a green space.. you 
know you wanna :)

~Addison

Time: Tue, 14-Nov-2000 22:30:26 GMT     IP: 205.188.197.31

It was that one.  With the paper.  If you are confused about 
other titles, the archives have the orders with brief things to 
tell you what happened for all shows after the first or second of 
the season.

Stirring my brandy with a nail,
Merideth

Time: Wed, 15-Nov-2000 18:37:57 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.100

Holy-Woop!: a re-view in space by Chris "Winona The Ripper" 
Stangl

1. Stangl- "The 80 Proof Lysistrata"
Tippy-top secret: inspiration for these idiotic blackout 
sketches is equal parts Bazooka Joe comics and utter depression 
felt in an antique store when looking at old shot glasses and 
postcards of caricatured drunks, with captions like "My best 
gals are named Sherry and Brandy!," and how alcoholism isn't 
cute or funny the way it used to be. But shouldn't it be?!

2. Peterson- "Hello, My Name Is Buzzer"
Monologue mostly banal throwaway gags, but there was real 
Theatre Magic in the way the entire audience was looking AT THE 
PEZ DISPENSER on the bare stage, as if it were about to move or 
do anything besides sit motionless.  That was unadorned 
cleverness, but next time, try adorning.

3. Rust- "Your Permanent Record"
     Overtly topical humor makes me squirm, and that's my own 
problem, but this teetered between total flippancy and wanting 
to make a Point, however irreverent that may have been.  Of 
course Rust has an adorable charisma, so there's never a 
question of being unentertained.  However, the finest 
politically charged humor is fueled by profound anger and 
frustration.  The best move was to identify with school-shooters 
by way of folk heros, instead of persecuted victims, an 
unpopular angle.  Which is why the movie "Badlands" is more 
profound, but "Rebel Without a Cause" is more popular.

4. Nozebone the Band- "Bicycle Song"
If it didn't sound like it, it had the winter-sunrise Feeling of 
a sad Replacements ballad.  Actually, that is one of the native 
Feelings of Iowa City, and Nozebone, probably inadvertently, is 
gradually plotting a musical chart of the City of Capitals of 
Old.  They are Local Band in the rarest way: they sound of, and 
LIKE their adopted home.
     After Nick Clark's objections to being compared to Rev. 
Howard Finster the visionary "na‹ve" American painter, I decided 
Nozebone's closest relative in the arts is actually comics 
artist/ musician James Kochalka.  Kochalka's battle cry is 
"Craft is the Enemy," by which he doesn't mean artists shouldn't 
refine and control technique, but that technical skill is best 
acquired in the line of duty_ And your duty as an artist is 
expression and making art.

5. Brokken- "Pee"
Funny nonsense bits couldn't save a narrative too fractured- be 
it James Joyce-complex-patterny or Burroughs-cut-up randomy- to 
draw into focus.

6. Clarke- "A Thousand Points of White"
A dozen cuts above that anti-Castro song for political satire, 
because like a good political cartoon it bothers to couch 
message in terms of a potent, totally unfair visual metaphor, 
and does it unapologetically.  Like any political cartoon, 
though, it's more or less gone with the morning edition_ but 
that's what it's FOR.

7. Angel- "Dan Brooks is Dead: A Five-Minute Expos‚"
     I could've done this for ten more minutes.  This- a 
script wherein the only stage directions are useless/ nonsense- 
was an actor's moist-dream, or at least an overactor's.  Though 
this physically resembles Jamal River's audience-irritation 
exercises, it flares out at the bottom and sits like a Lava 
Lamp, and the audience's real job is to watch the wax blobs 
float and mutate and take away with them the shapes they thought 
prettiest.

8. Hansen- "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Burger"
     Screamy-good title.  "Cute" premise an oldish-but-
goodish joke, thankfully not pressed beyond a few minutes (see 
monos on topics of shirt fetish, bad kareoke).  Mr. Handsome's 
obviously Nestle-quick on the wordplay and suches, but his under-
praised spinal cord as a comic performer is his personal charm.  
He might write like a Groucho, but he performs like a Molly 
Ringwald, John Astin, Harold Lloyd: his relationship to the 
jokes is humble, and he's servile at to the will of the 
material.  Mark Hansen just gets out of the way, because old, 
new, corny, surprising or other he loves and respects the Jokes, 
every one.

9. Drescher- "Hammy the Gerbil"
     Somehow the flaming-rodent hijinx in question weren't 
outlandish enough, or maybe the disinterested delivery_ mostly 
from a chair, yet_ killed it, but after having seen Monty Python 
smash fake mice with a hammer, and the cast of Pink Flamingos 
fuck/ kill real chickens, you've got to try to at least meet the 
high-watermarks of animal abuse midway.  As with too many 
monologues, I'm completely in the dark as to "why" this 
character would be telling this story, and to who.  It's just 
getting_ told.

10. Kovacs- "If the Wooden Teeth Could Speak"
     Kind of a top-heavy concept piece, but ambitious, and 
that counts for a lot, even if you fall off the skylift halfway 
over the fair.  Money is a loaded symbol and has been 
specifically chosen for that reason.  But if dollar bills are 
witness to a thousand stories, it hasn't been fleshed out how 
these stories illuminate American life in terms of economics, 
except that citizens carry around small denominations.

11. Fairchild- "The Rubber Butcher"
     Prop-action heavy monologues tend to have Pacing Issues, 
and this looked dictated by how quickly the toy rabbit could be 
hacked through, which screws with the supposed urgency of the 
dialogue.  Question: might this have been more effective as a 
silent piece?

12. Negron- "The Time I Was in Heaven"
     The tone given off here is like a "You Gotta Be a Bitch 
Like Me to Love a Bastard Like Him" bumper sticker- chauvinism 
made cute isn't chauvinism excused.  It can be challenging and 
wonderful when we're asked to love a dog-eared piece-a-shit 
character, but here were just being asked to laugh with "the 
bitch won't put out!" jokes, and "aw shucks, ain't I a pig?" 
shouldn't get you off any hooks.  I'm "with" this character, and 
even convinced, right up to the point I'm supposed to find him 
adorable.

12.5 Okiishi- "Games"
     This stuff is like a see-through bathing suit, because 
the work is done for you, and you can concentrate on the good, 
flappy parts.  Which isn't ferreting out Meaning, but watching 
the Little Guy tussle with those big eternal sparring partners.
     The secret dad of Okiishi's "_Since You Asked" (last 
week, remember?) was American genius Ray Bradbury's short story 
"At the End of the Ninth Year."  The premise is the same. In 
"9th Year", a woman announces she is leaving her husband, 
because after 9 years the body entirely regenerates itself, thus 
she's a different person.  Bradbury, last living romantic 
optimist, ends about-face to Okiishi: his couple realizes 
they're BOTH fresh people, newborn together in full adulthood.  
And that is where Okiishi- romantic alienated alienist- in 
"Games" ends up.  Bradbury's recipe for youth eternal is simply 
to laugh and play at all costs, Okiishi knows that, but god it's 
so HARD_

13. Heinen/Slye/ Alexxx- "Crescendo"
Three-ring circuses don't need their acts to totally cohere, 
because it's about frenzy and spectacle.  If I'd seen all these 
chunks before- save the violin- separately, they were alchemic 
in combination.  "Post-modern" in the best way: doesn't deliver 
anything beyond momentary chocolate-bar satisfaction, and 
doesn't know how, want to, or think it's noble to do anything 
but.

14. Campbell- "The Deconstructionist Act"
     My favorite Campbell work pulls ideas out of unexpected, 
unexpectable, unheard-of places, like his otherworldly bits on 
freestyle walking, "Stench of Orphans" and "Necktie Sinclair."  
"Tanaki Presentation," "Newest Orphan," are sturdy-built 
character pieces, but they are carefully measured and don't seem 
to have dropped from off-radar aircraft.  "Necktie," "This is 
You," "Deconstructionist" especially are bridging the gaps in 
the older Silly Material and smartly using as grout the Nameless 
Dread somewhat resembling an acid freakout which is sure to be 
the predominant mood of our new century.  Balls writing looks 
forward.  Over its shoulder.

15. Stangl- "O Sing and I Will Rise to Follow"
     Canoe-secret!: Title vaguely echoe

Time: Wed, 15-Nov-2000 18:40:39 GMT     IP: 32.101.20.100

13. Heinen/Slye/ Alexxx- "Crescendo"
Three-ring circuses don't need their acts to totally cohere, 
because it's about frenzy and spectacle.  If I'd seen all these 
chunks before- save the violin- separately, they were alchemic in 
combination.  "Post-modern" in the best way: doesn't deliver 
anything beyond momentary chocolate-bar satisfaction, and doesn't 
know how, want to, or think it's noble to do anything but.

14. Campbell- "The Deconstructionist Act"
     My favorite Campbell work pulls ideas out of unexpected, 
unexpectable, unheard-of places, like his otherworldly bits on 
freestyle walking, "Stench of Orphans" and "Necktie Sinclair."  
"Tanaki Presentation," "Newest Orphan," are sturdy-built 
character pieces, but they are carefully measured and don't seem 
to have dropped from off-radar aircraft.  "Necktie," "This is 
You," "Deconstructionist" especially are bridging the gaps in the 
older Silly Material and smartly using as grout the Nameless 
Dread somewhat resembling an acid freakout which is sure to be 
the predominant mood of our new century.  Balls writing looks 
forward.  Over its shoulder.

15. Stangl- "O Sing and I Will Rise to Follow"
     Canoe-secret!: Title vaguely echoes English folk saying 
about ghosts.  Idea came in "fever-dream"!  This was supposed to 
cheer you up, and if it didn't_ I suggest another round of vodka-
and-lemonades.

Full of Bourbon, Can't Stand Up,
Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Thu, 16-Nov-2000 18:46:22 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.120

So yesterday I found this book in the library called Bikey the 
Skicycle by John Hendricks Bangs, published in 1902. I swear to God 
I didn't read before writing Bicycle Song but there are a few 
chapters about the character Jimmieboy riding his talking and 
floating bicycle around the rings of Saturn. This is slightly 
disconcerting, but only slightly cuz the book is really good. 
Anyone up for some Pneumatic mince pie? 

Markus O'Hansenio
P.S. don't forget the party on Saturday!!!

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 08:25:58 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.162

The Order for 11/17/00:

1)  "The Carbohydrate Cowboy!  How to Turn Dried Food Products 
into Snazzy Get-up!" by Neil VanGorden (N. VanGorden:  while 
wearing bagel suit, N. shows slide show depicting production of 
said suit--monologue)

2)  "Damn, Baby, What'd You Do to Your Hair? Orlando, you like it?  
It's Autumn Sunrise" by Paul Rust (P. Rust:  P talks about stuff 
that descends in coherence as he pees himself--horro-comic 
monolgue)

3)  "The Best Actor I'll Never Again See" by Thomas Kovacs (T. 
Kovacs:  T talks about a kid he saw die onstage during a skit at 
camp--dramatic monologue)

4) "Last Christmas" by NOZEBONE THE BAND!!!  (N. Clark, M. Hansen, 
B. Smith:  in a musical number, N and B provide music while M 
sings music out his mouth--included the vaguely familiar line 
"Everything's suicide in high school" or something similar)

5) "Banter" by Chris Okiishi (C. Okiishi, A. Burton, M. Cassady:  
fast-paced sex-relationship-rejection-constipation between a 
couple and their single friend--comedy sketch)

5.5) "Regarding Your Mother's Weight" by Chris Stangl (C. Stangl, 
A. Lawson:  in a battle of wits with the subject of having sex 
with Chris's obese mother, who's the true winner?--comedy sketch)

6) "Don't Stop or We'll Die!" by Aaron "Got No Scrote" Galbraith 
(Aa. Galbraith, Ap. Clarke, C. Stangl:  Aa and C make 
inappropriate jokes as Ap waitresses--comedy sketch)

7) "Insatiable" by King Toad, performed by Flypaper the Band (J. 
River, A. Angel, M. Hansen:  musical song with J on vocals and 
guitar, A on lead guitar, and M on percussion)

8)  "Tossing Your Christmas Cookies OR: Why Jesus Hates the 
French" by Aprille Clarke (A. Clarke, N."B." Campbell:  A is a 
Mrs. Claus portrayer gone cannibalistic; N "B" gets munched--
comedy sketch)

8.5) (though actually performed 9) "Attention-Grabbing Statement" 
by Andrea of Mongolia (A. of Mongolia:  brother has sex with 
frozen cats, sister paints walls with dead babies from the morgue-
-comedic monologue)

9) (though actually performed 8.5) "I, the Announce...Me, Who 
Stands Here Before You...Me, Remembered the First Time that I, the 
Announce...Jizzumed" by Iowa Cornfed -&- Company (Not the Violence 
Guys)!!!  (various Violence Guys:  3 messes of increasing 
grossness get made, cleaned up, and eaten on stage--comedic 
performance art...i think)

10)  "'MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!'  AND OTHER FIVE SYLLABLE PHRASES" by 
Mike Cassady (C. Okiishi, P. Rust, N. "B." Campbell:  C confesses 
embarrassing situations and elicits audience members to do the 
same--comedic monologue with pseudo-audience interaction)

11) "The Love Musket" by Tim Busse (T. Busse:  guy, inexplicably 
wearing a bra, writhes onstage as if being attacked; later 
explains he has a disorder that makes him think he's being raped--
comedic monologue)

12)  "Without the Dick Jokes There WOuld Be NO Skit.  I'm Not 
Kidding.  If Any Dick Joke Was Thought of in the Writing of This 
Skit It Was Not Spared the Indignity of Being Included in It.  OR 
Nothing New" by Dan "Asshole" Fairchild (D. Fairchild, M. Cassady, 
N. "B." Campbell:  through an exchange that involves 
propositioning unconventional sex acts for money, D is revealed to 
be a famously skilled sex artist, capable of identifying others of 
his ilk--comedy sketch)

13)  "The Death of Allison McCabe:  A Public Apology to Allison 
McCabe" by Al Angel (A. Angel, N. Clark, C. Stangl, A. Lawson, 
someone else:  in 5 non-consecutive parts, the actors recount the 
story and emotions experienced through a relationship with and the 
eventual death of Allison McCabe--dramatic interweaving 
monologues)

14)  "Romantic Comedy" by Neil "Balls!" Campbell (N. "B." 
Campbell:  N expresses his love for Danielle through poetry, 
threats of personal destruction should she reject him, and 
enthusiastic intonation--comedic monologue)

15)  "Her Haunted Places":  a hallucination by Chris Stangl (C. 
Stangl--after screaming in the dark, C takes an entire bottle of 
Kava-Kava during the course of a monologue describing various 
peoples' story-telling styles--dramatic monologue)

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 16:33:41 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.18

:The Order for 11/17/00:
:
:1)  "The Carbohydrate Cowboy!  How to Turn Dried Food Products 
:into Snazzy Get-up!" by Neil VanGorden
So, it became quickly obvious that 'carbohydrate cowboy' was a halloween costume which NVG
brought with him to NS.  Somehow 
this worked, and was really funny.

:2)  "Damn, Baby, What'd You Do to Your Hair? Orlando, you like it?  
:It's Autumn Sunrise" by Paul Rust 
According to Rust, that was real pee.  I sure couldn't pee in my pants in front of an audience.  Not
that I would be mortifyingly 
embarrassed, so much, just that I don't think I could.  It was a funny piece in its own right, and
the gradual degradation of the 
monologue into incomprehensibility compounded by the additional information of the pee was
quite funny.  Though I think that PR's 
reliance on a barrage of pop-culture (television) referrences tends to alienate more than include.  I
wish Rust had practiced this 
beforehand to know how to pee his pants without making a mess of the stage.  Or at least known
to be prepared to clean up.

:
:3)  "The Best Actor I'll Never Again See" by Thomas Kovacs 
The more I tought about this piece, the more I decided that it probably described a real event,
which really decreased the 
impressiveness of it as a piece of writing, but increased the intrigue.  Ultimately, K. is without a
doubt a better writer than a 
performer, and giving his work over to other performers in future might work out better.  Tho' I
could understand the need to perform 
very personal work oneself.

:4) "Last Christmas" by NOZEBONE THE BAND!!!  
I like it when Brad is in Nozebone the Band.  I wished we had given him a verse out of this song,
since, as for Brad's voice, It is So 
Nice.  On the whole I think this one went over really well.  Brad has a modicum of musical ability,
and that might have helped to 
lend Nozebone the Band some temporary credibility.

:5) "Banter" by Chris Okiishi
Chris Okiishi could write about anything and give the piece a heart as big as a whale.  Even with
all the tacky sexual jokes, this 
was no exception.  It seemed to go on pretty long, but it needed to, and it deserved to.  I liked
seeing Cassady take on this role.  I'm not 
sure I have any very constructive criticism here.  It was good.  I liked it.

:5.5) "Regarding Your Mother's Weight" by Chris Stangl 
It was good.  I liked it.  It took a kind of hackneyed joke and showed the pathos and desparation
implicit in it.  Through liquor!

:6) "Don't Stop or We'll Die!" by Aaron "Got No Scrote" Galbraith 
This was just really smart writing.  I am always a fan of pieces which ultimately leave the audience
excited and not certain whether 
they should place that excitement in the category of comedy, and use all that energy to laugh, or if
theyshould take things more 
seriously and use that energy to make an internalk change in theirselves.  The indecision of what
to do with that energy compounds it 
exponentially.

:7) "Insatiable" by King Toad, performed by Flypaper the Band
Good song, but so, so short.

:8)  "Tossing Your Christmas Cookies OR: Why Jesus Hates the 
:French" by Aprille Clarke
Oh goodness.  At first, I was really tring hard to find myself charmed by this old lady.  I was
planning on being able to call Aprille 
the person who could make me see the beauty n a 68 year old crack whore.  Then her character
became a psychotic pedarast, and there 
wasn't so much left to love. This piece engaged that part of me that says "I am so desparate to
find a good person, to let my heart go 
out to someone, that I will love this 68 year old crack whore", and then told that part of me
"What the fuck are you thinking, idiot?  
Don't be so quick to let your heart go out to someone.".  A valuable statement.

:8.5) (though actually performed 9) "Attention-Grabbing Statement" 
:by Andrea of Mongolia
This woman seems to have studied Aprille Clarke inside and out (no pun intended).  She brings
the same kind of sexually disgusting 
information, delivered with a confidence and charm  which makes the subject matter just possible
to stomach, then flips a switch and 
makes it impossible to stomach any longer, thus inducing a sort of non-cathartic emotioinal
vomiting.  Unlike Clarke, however, 
Mongolia's theatrical ipecac doesn't seem to have a target - a tendancy in the members of the
audience it wishes to challenge.

:9) (though actually performed 8.5) "I, the Announce...Me, Who 
:Stands Here Before You...Me, Remembered the First Time that I, the 
:Announce...Jizzumed" by Iowa Cornfed --&-- Company (Not the Violence 
:Guys)!!!  
I like about this piece what I have liked about all of their pieces.  It creates an environment in
which inexplicable events are the 
norm and makes no attempt to explain them.  It doesn't leave you wanting more, but it leaves you
wanting ... something.

:10)  "'MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!'  AND OTHER FIVE SYLLABLE PHRASES" by 
:Mike Cassady 
 Balls' story about the tractor was great.  This was a fun way to see Okiishi embarass himself
which was fun, but I mean, what did he 
ever do to you, Mike?  Aside from Okiishi embarrasing himself, this piece didn't seem to have a
lot to offer, so what is the value of 
seeing Okiishi embarras himself?  Not sure, but I enjoyed it.

:11) "The Love Musket" by Tim Busse 
I didn't think this was funny at all.  I thought it was intensely disturbing.  But I liked it for some
reason.  Though the use of the 
brasierre made laughter seem like the more appropriate response, I did not laugh once during it.

:12)  "Without the Dick Jokes There WOuld Be NO Skit.  I'm Not 
:Kidding.  If Any Dick Joke Was Thought of in the Writing of This 
:Skit It Was Not Spared the Indignity of Being Included in It.  OR 
:Nothing New" by Dan "Asshole" Fairchild 
Remind me to comment on this later.

:13)  "The Death of Allison McCabe:  A Public Apology to Allison 
:McCabe" by Al Angel 
I read this script beforehand.  I said 'Al, this is beautiful, but it doesn't look much like an apology
to me.'  He said 'It's an apology in 
that it's sweet.'  Maybe so, but it's still about the violent death of the person you're trying to
apologize to.  And the embarrasingly 
personal details (I'm sure mostly contrived) of her relationship.  If I was feeling embarassed or
threatened by someone's work in the 
past, I think a piece like this would compound rather than ease that discomfort.  Maybe.  Then
again, I don't know Allison. And I still 
feel that this was a very strong, very beautiful peice, though I wish that I could have seen it from
the audience's POV.

:14)  "Romantic Comedy" by Neil "Balls!" Campbell (N. "B." 
Remind me to get back to this one.

:15)  "Her Haunted Places":  a hallucination by Chris Stangl (C. 
I loved the image of Blood Cats.  I loved a lot of the images in it.  I wonder what the effect of
ingesting an entire bottle full of Kava 
Kava is.  It couldn't possibly be good.  Chris seems to find new and interesting ways to abuse his
body in front of an audience more often 
than I do my laundry.  I will say more about this when I get back to Dan and Balls' stuff.

Rev. $nick Lucre

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 20:39:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

[From "re: The Order, 11/17/00" posted by Rev Nick Lucre]
::11) "The Love Musket" by Tim Busse 
:I didn't think this was funny at all.  I thought it was intensely 
disturbing.  But I liked it for some reason.  Though the use of 
the 
:brasierre made laughter seem like the more appropriate response, 
I did not laugh once during it.



[My reply]
Thank you for saying so.  I did not like this skit at all, and I 
did not laugh; I cried.  I found it deeply disturbing that someone 
could take such a serious topic so lightly.  I found it even more 
disturbing that there were people laughing.  I wonder if the young 
man who wrote and performed the skit considered that statistically 
1 in 12 to 1 in 20 of his male audience members and 1 in 6 to 1 in 
10 of his female audience members have been victims of sexual 
abuse, molestation, or rape?  I wonder if he knows how many rape 
victims there are in his immediate circle of friends?  I wonder if 
he cares?

Speaking as a former victim in a sexually, emotionally, 
physically, and psychologically abusive relationship, I can 
confidently say that Mr. Busse is sick.  Is he an abuser?  
Possibly.  Is he a victim trying to use humor to feel better about 
what happened to him?  Again, possibly. But no matter what the 
case is, he should have kept this skit to himself.  Everyone deals 
with that sort of thing differently, and I personally did not need 
to see the skit.  I'm already prone to random flashbacks of what 
happened to me four years ago, and I certainly don't need an 
outside stimulus to create more of them.  I don't doubt that there 
were others in the audience who feel the same way as I do.

I sincerely hope that Mr. Busse learns a lesson in tact and the 
essence of humor before he makes any further attempts at 
amusement.

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 20:53:24 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.153

   Everything to be considered for Best Of has gone up.  I read 
through the Orders.  With much thanks to the memory jogging piece 
descriptions here are my Best Of No Shame nominations:

Arlen Lawson  "What Became of Tom Thumb?"
Arlen Lawson  "Elephant Memory and Cauliflower Ear" 
              (the circus one?)

Chris Stangl  "Dan Brooks A Loch Ness Monster Sighting"  -  OK, 
so Dan brooks isn't here, and his role couldn't be played by 
anybody else, but I loved this and thought it should at least get 
mentioned as a Best Of nomination

Chris Stangl  "O, Sing --&-- I Will Rise to Follow"
Chris Stangl  "Kissing Booth"  Of Course one of these comic strip 
skits gets into Best Of along with one of his monologues.

Neil Campbell  "This Is You"
Neil Campbell  "The Tanaki Presentation"

Aprille Clarke  "More to Love"

Jamal River  "Flippin' the Grandma Switch"
King Toad  "Underwater"

Aaron Galbraith  "Don't Stop or We'll Die"

Mark Hansen  "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Burger"

Mike Cassady  "This Monologue Does Not Love You"  Spice Girls 
Lunchbox

Alyssa Bowman  "The Legend of Zelda"

Paul Rust  "Uncle Petey's Goodtime Jolly Hour"

Aaron and Neil "S'ghetti Meets Balls"


    And I don't remember the titles, but I just remembered Al 
Angel and that he's written things I liked

Last Night's thing
The "I Have Cancer on my Face" thing

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 20:59:09 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

I said I would post this:
Go southeast on Muscatine for awhile. Before too long, you will 
pass 4th Ave, then 3rd Ave. Turn right onto 2nd Ave. and take it 
all the way to the last block. 1314 is the 2nd to last house on 
the left. Lovey. 

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 21:13:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.52.147

:1)  "The Carbohydrate Cowboy!  How to Turn Dried Food Products 
:into Snazzy Get-up!" by Neil VanGorden
at first i thought that he had gone to way too much trouble in 
preparation for this piece, but it really paid off.  and i got to 
take the bagel suit home.
:2)  "Damn, Baby, What'd You Do to Your Hair? Orlando, you like 
it?  
:It's Autumn Sunrise" by Paul Rust 
i loved the non-sequitor/sequitor stuff.  very funny.  not sure 
how that couldn't have been real pee, in which case: 1) have 
to laugh because it's funny and effective, 2) have to frown 
because you broke the rules, 3) for christ's sake, bring more than 
a single sheet of newsprint to clean it up with.  still, a good 
piece.
::3)  "The Best Actor I'll Never Again See" by Thomas Kovacs 
very personal, whether it was a true story or not, for that i 
applaud.  though i echo nick/rev. lucre/$$$ in that the delivery 
lacks...something.  wouldn't necessarily advise that he find 
someone else to perform it for him, but rather to work on making 
his delivery more interesting somehow.
::4) "Last Christmas" by NOZEBONE THE BAND!!!  
yay!  always like to listen to nozebone.  brad was great, and yes 
you should get him singing.
::5) "Banter" by Chris Okiishi
incredibly hearfelt, as are all of chris's pieces.  didn't get a 
chance to comment on his piece from last week (feeling guilty for 
trying to impress friends and ignoring little boy), but that one 
really struck me.  doesn't get much more honest than that.
::5.5) "Regarding Your Mother's Weight" by Chris Stangl 
ive been enjoying stangl's pieces hes been placing early in the 
order, but want to see more (i should talk, having written so 
little this semester).  i miss the old stangl sketches.
::6) "Don't Stop or We'll Die!" by Aaron "Got No Scrote" Galbraith 
the actors really brought this one to life.  more than i could 
have ever hope for.
::7) "Insatiable" by King Toad, performed by Flypaper the Band
i like the toad!  i will buy his new album at the release party 
tonight!
::8)  "Tossing Your Christmas Cookies OR: Why Jesus Hates the 
::French" by Aprille Clarke
aprille is really one of the most powerful writers and performers 
we have.  wow.  i have really enjoyed her stuff of late 
especially, (though it's always been excellent)
::8.5) (though actually performed 9) "Attention-Grabbing 
Statement" 
::by Andrea of Mongolia
this was a good performance by a newcomer, and a hilarious piece.  
it had a stanglish feel about the grotesqueness, but was still 
kind of sweet on some level.
::9) (though actually performed 8.5) "I, the Announce...Me, Who 
::Stands Here Before You...Me, Remembered the First Time that I, 
the 
::Announce...Jizzumed" by Iowa Cornfed ---&--- Company (Not the 
Violence 
::Guys)!!!  
the signs were an excellent choice to give the needed effect here.  
still not a fan of damaging the space though.  hope everything got 
cleaned up all right.

some lady is giving me shit right now about hogging a computer not 
intended for prolonged internet use, so i'll have to finish this 
later.

stubble

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 21:34:52 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.51

The Order for 11/17/00:
:
:1)  "The Carbohydrate Cowboy!  How to Turn Dried Food Products 
:into Snazzy Get-up!" by Neil VanGorden
The documentary angle was beautifully funny.  You took 
photographs of a very original, but stupid idea, and turned it 
into a comedy sketch about what went on behind the scenes.  Love 
it.

:2)  "Damn, Baby, What'd You Do to Your Hair? Orlando, you like 
it?  
:It's Autumn Sunrise" by Paul Rust 
Real pee!  If you didn't hear me the first time, that was PEAL 
PEE!  The real pee, mixed with an mumbling, nervous, and 
stuttering monologue sent up an aura of cute and childish, but 
funny.  The only problem I had with your bit was having to stand 
in real pee during my monologue.  Next time, make sure you're 
standing on a pile of newspapers or something.


:3)  "The Best Actor I'll Never Again See" by Thomas Kovacs 
The more I tought about this piece, the more I decided that it 
probably described a real event, which really decreased the 
impressiveness of it as a piece of writing, but increased the 
intrigue.  
Yes, this was a real event, although I honestly wish it was a 
story.  I decided that this week I'd make myself go up there and 
spill my guts, just to see if I could do it.  After doing nothing 
but fictional off-beat comedy bits for so long, I was wondering 
if I could get on stage and be honest about something.  It was 
more a personal challenge, reflection, and heartfelt expression 
than it was a completely original story.  The one thing I did 
change was the names of people and places, because I didn't want 
to say anything that would specifically identify anyone.  Red 
Cloud Peak is a mountain, not a camp.  However, I know I'm not 
the only person to write about this event.  If you snoop around 
enough newspapers from late August, and possibly early September 
1995, I'm sure you'll encounter another story of this nature.
Ultimately, K. is without a doubt a better writer than a 
performer, and giving his work over to other performers in future 
might work out better.
I cannot thank you enough for this truthful comment.  I aspire to 
be a successful writer some day, and I have never seriously 
considered myself a performer.  I do No Shame so much because 
it's fun and I can experiment with different things.  But I might 
have someone else do one of my pieces so I can see it from the 
audience's view.

:4) "Last Christmas" by NOZEBONE THE BAND!!!  
I think this song is among the higher caliper Nozebone songs.  It 
was a jumping piece that had a certain "umph" to it.

:5) "Banter" by Chris Okiishi
Beautifully performed, and very well written.  It all tied 
together in a logical, real-worldish kind of way.  When Okiishi 
writes something, it's more heartfelt than a lot of NS comedy is, 
but he can still deliver some of that off-beat humor I love so 
much.

:5.5) "Regarding Your Mother's Weight" by Chris Stangl 
Short and sweet.  Stangl often uses liquor to fuel a short bit, 
but it doesn't really get old.  Different situations and 
different emotions are shown through booze.

:6) "Don't Stop or We'll Die!" by Aaron "Got No Scrote" Galbraith 
A very well done piece.  It starts off with hilarity, but there's 
this sudden transition where you find yourself saying, "This is 
sad, so why the fuck was I just laughing."

:7) "Insatiable" by King Toad, performed by Flypaper the Band
A nice short song, that leaves your audience wanting more.

:8)  "Tossing Your Christmas Cookies OR: Why Jesus Hates the 
:French" by Aprille Clarke
She started off charming, but then she crossed the line between 
funny and psychotic with a few small laughs in between.  I'm sure 
this character change was intentionally morbid and not intend to 
be her usual brand of distasteful humor.  That being the case, it 
did what she planned.  I think a chill went down ever spine in 
the place as she sang "Silent Night" at the end.

:8.5) (though actually performed 9) "Attention-Grabbing 
Statement" 
:by Andrea of Mongolia
This piece was also quite morbid, in a different kind of way.  I 
honestly think her main goal here was to be disgusting and try to 
get a laugh.  Well, I'll admit that I didn't stop laughing during 
this piece, but there were times when I was one of few who found 
humor in this piece.  At about this point in the show, I was 
feeling a little depressed because of the story I'd just told, 
and needed to laugh at just about anything for my own well 
being.  But, I don't think Mongolia's piece was much of a crowd-
pleaser.

:9) (though actually performed 8.5) "I, the Announce...Me, Who 
:Stands Here Before You...Me, Remembered the First Time that I, 
the 
:Announce...Jizzumed" by Iowa Cornfed ---&--- Company (Not the 
Violence 
:Guys)!!!  
This was a riot, which I wouldn't have ever been able to 
predict.  Before the show, Steve said something to me about 
spilling "afterbirth" on stage, but I didn't really take him 
seriously.  When this actually happened, I found myself 
saying, "Dude, that boy's serious!  I should have seen this 
coming."

:10)  "'MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!'  AND OTHER FIVE SYLLABLE PHRASES" 
by 
:Mike Cassady 
Strange, pointless, written in a way that it sounds like Okiishi 
wrote it although he was just playing the part Cassady wrote, and 
funny.

:11) "The Love Musket" by Tim Busse 
Tim fighting with himself at the beginning was cool, but it got 
old fast.  I would have liked to see the "fight" get more 
intense, and perhaps even more violent instead of him simply 
rolling around on the floor.  The best part was when he was 
pulled down the stairs by the invisible rapist.  But, the 
monologue itself wasn't too impressive, and I'm not going to 
waste my time writing about it.

:12)  "Without the Dick Jokes There WOuld Be NO Skit.  I'm Not 
:Kidding.  If Any Dick Joke Was Thought of in the Writing of This 
:Skit It Was Not Spared the Indignity of Being Included in It.  
OR 
:Nothing New" by Dan "Asshole" Fairchild 
This had some really good humor in it, but I honestly like your 
monologues a lot better than this skit.

:13)  "The Death of Allison McCabe:  A Public Apology to Allison 
:McCabe" by Al Angel 
Al, this was sweet.  At first I thought it was interlocking 
monologues like Stangl's Halloween piece, but when I figured out 
that all five actors were telling different parts of the same 
story from the same perspective, I was enthralled.

:14)  "Romantic Comedy" by Neil "Balls!" Campbell (N. "B." 
I used a similar phrase for Paul's piece, but cute and funny is 
the best way to describe "Romantic Comedy."  Somehow, love 
stories are cool, and satirical love stories can come in so many 
colors.  If I had to describe this one in colors, it would be 
yellow (for timid) and blue (as he would be after rejection).

:15)  "Her Haunted Places":  a hallucination by Chris Stangl (C. 
Did that kava kava fuck with your system?  I'd think it would.  A 
lot of the audience, who didn't really know what kava kava is 
were probably wondering if you'd pass out or go into convulsions 
after overdosing.  This fit in pretty good with the world of the 
dead atmosphere you were trying to create.  And by the way, I 
think it's pretty cool that you turned your injured thumb into a 
story.

That's all folks,
Tom

Time: Sat, 18-Nov-2000 23:53:50 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.27

:The Order for 11/17/00:
:
:1)  "The Carbohydrate Cowboy!  How to Turn Dried Food Products 
:into Snazzy Get-up!" by Neil VanGorden 

like someone said, it's not all that funny to recycle your 
halloween costume and your pictures from your halloween party.  i 
know what it feels like to be hard up for material...but hey.  
prop-based stuff is usually a little weak, because the performer 
leans on the props as figurative crutches instead of working hard 
on the writing and delivery.  that's what happened here.  the first 
shots of the shed full of bagels were funny, though.
:
:2)  "Damn, Baby, What'd You Do to Your Hair? Orlando, you like it?  
:It's Autumn Sunrise" by Paul Rust 

pseudo-tragic, funny, well-delivered.  i don't think it was real 
pee, but i didn't sniff it, and the fact that i really wanted 
someone else to sniff it to determine whether or not it was real 
pee speaks for itself.  great delivery, really heartbreaking 
descent into incomprehensibility...and good job not putting a lot 
of important writing during the peeing because no one would have 
paid attention anyway.

:3)  "The Best Actor I'll Never Again See" by Thomas Kovacs 
hm...people keep saying that Kovacs is a better writer than 
performer...and maybe that's true, but i don't remember this being 
very well-written.  i appreciated that he took a slightly different 
angle than just saying "Here's a story about when this kid died"-- 
starting out talking about the guy, then revealing he was a camp 
counselor was a good choice.  however, i think that was the 
strongest point in the monologue and it went downhill from there.  
it should have been shorter--serious pieces are always harder to do 
successfully than comic ones, so they need to stay short enough to 
keep the audience's attention.  i do believe his sentiment was 
genuine--what sticks out in my memory is the part about the 
LifeFlight taking 40 minutes to get there.  I could really feel his 
anger there.  but overall, the writing (and delivery, probably more 
the delivery) was tedious and clich‚-riddled.
:
:4) "Last Christmas" by NOZEBONE THE BAND!!!  (N. Clark, M. Hansen, 
:B. Smith:  in a musical number, N and B provide music while M 
:sings music out his mouth--included the vaguely familiar line 
:"Everything's suicide in high school" or something similar)

For Mark's sake, let me clarify what I meant by "vaguely familiar" 
up there.  I didn't mean to imply that he plagiarized--I just knew 
I had heard that line before, and Arlen reminded me that he had 
actually been talking to me about that very line just recently, but 
in the context that it was a song Mark wrote.  Neither of us knew 
that song would be performed tonight, and I forgot where I had 
heard the line.  but now I know.

Brad Smith's keyboards really round that group out, and Mark has a 
surprisingly charming singing voice.  I wish the lyrics were a 
little slower, though, and maybe with some more musical instrument 
solos so I could digest what i heard.  either that or print out the 
lyrics and give them to the audience.

:5) "Banter" by Chris Okiishi 

dear god i love gay sex jokes.  the constipation one was the best.  
great performance by mike cassady--over-the-top and tender at the 
same time.  it lived up to Okiishi's usual high standards of 
writing; even when I know it's going to have a touching ending, i 
still eat every minute of it up.  except for the buttholes.  i just 
pretend i'm eating those.
:
:5.5) "Regarding Your Mother's Weight" by Chris Stangl 

sharp and quick and true.

:
:6) "Don't Stop or We'll Die!" by Aaron "Got No Scrote" Galbraith 

good writing on aaron's part.  we haven't seen enough of him lately 
(his writing OR his mysterious scrote), so it was nice to be able 
to be a part of this.  good performances by stangl and smith.  the 
shortness was good--nothing about this needed to be dragged out.  
it said what it said and well.  mid-stream tone change worked well.
:
:7) "Insatiable" by King Toad, performed by Flypaper the Band 

Jamal is the best music guy in the world, and i'm going to buy his 
compact disc for cool fun!

:8)  "Tossing Your Christmas Cookies OR: Why Jesus Hates the 
:French" by Aprille Clarke

probably my second-least-favorite thing i've done this semester.  i 
mean, that i wrote.  
:
:8.5) (though actually performed 9) "Attention-Grabbing Statement" 
:by Andrea of Mongolia 

Andrea of Mongolia, despite being a honkey and lying about it, is 
my new girlfriend.  i hoped to talk to her after the show but she 
disappeared.  good writing--tough and gross and hilarious.  whoever 
said the audience didn't get into it was way, way, fucked-up-the-
armpit-hole wrong, because i was in the audience and i loved it.  
she doesn't seem ashamed.  which suits her.

:9) (though actually performed 8.5) "I, the Announce...Me, Who 
:Stands Here Before You...Me, Remembered the First Time that I, the 
:Announce...Jizzumed" by Iowa Cornfed --&-- Company (Not the Violence 
:Guys)!!!  

not a fresh concept--anyone who's been around a few years has 
certainly seen people (ahem, Stangl, ahem) eat things that look 
like they might be poop.  but the delivery and style were fresh 
(not french, thank god).  who knew condensed soup would be the 
grossest option?  that's what really got to me.

:10)  "'MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!'  AND OTHER FIVE SYLLABLE PHRASES" by 
:Mike Cassady 

good performances by all involved, particularly the couple of lines 
performed by Paul Rust.  when i was writing the expanded order i 
thought i must have been forgetting the real point of the sketch, 
since all i remembered was chris saying embarrassing stuff and 
making other people say it too, but maybe there wasn't anything 
else.  not that there needed to be.
:
:11) "The Love Musket" by Tim Busse

see separate post
:
:12)  "Without the Dick Jokes There WOuld Be NO Skit.  I'm Not 
:Kidding.  If Any Dick Joke Was Thought of in the Writing of This 
:Skit It Was Not Spared the Indignity of Being Included in It.  OR 
:Nothing New" by Dan "Asshole" Fairchild 

i liked it.
:
:13)  "The Death of Allison McCabe:  A Public Apology to Allison 
:McCabe" by Al Angel 

an example of how al is becoming a better writer by the minute.  
Tom Kovacs could take a lesson from this piece.  it was similar 
subject matter (well, kinda--friend dies) but put together in a 
creative way that, rather than distracting from the subject matter, 
just enhances it and engages the audience in a sort of challenge to 
figure out what's going on.  serious subject matter has to be 
handled creatively, and al did that in this piece.  way to go.
:
:14)  "Romantic Comedy" by Neil "Balls!" Campbell 

as usual, excellent energy and delivery by N "B" C.  even a little 
sweet.  good job on his part handling the phone.

:15)  "Her Haunted Places":  a hallucination by Chris Stangl (C. 
:Stangl--after screaming in the dark, C takes an entire bottle of 
:Kava-Kava during the course of a monologue describing various 
:peoples' story-telling styles--dramatic monologue)

maybe it was just because i was getting really tired by the end of 
the (really way too long) show, but i remember the props a lot more 
than i remember the writing of this piece.  while it was superior 
to the bagel piece, the props were distracting in a similar way.  
some good funny lines, though, and the gloves were really menacing-
looking.  i hope chris is ok.
:

Time: Sun, 19-Nov-2000 00:02:47 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.27

:[From "re: The Order, 11/17/00" posted by Rev Nick Lucre]
:::11) "The Love Musket" by Tim Busse 
::I didn't think this was funny at all.  I thought it was intensely 
:disturbing.  But I liked it for some reason.  Though the use of 
:the 
::brasierre made laughter seem like the more appropriate response, 
:I did not laugh once during it.
:

This piece was funny until half-way through when Busse explained 
what he was doing.  Busse is obviously a talented physical 
comedian, and I enjoyed watching him write onstage for its own 
sake.  as someone mentioned, the part where he was dragged down the 
stairs worked wonderfully.  i was confused by the bra, though.  did 
he wear it in an attempt to hide his own man-breasts, of which he 
was embarrassed?  was he portraying a female character?  if the 
character was supposed to be female, you need to do more than just 
wear a bra to be a woman, honey.  

i, like the poster "a victim," felt my stomach turn when he went on 
to say he had a disorder that made him think he was being raped.  
the piece did not need this tidbit of information--it went from 
funny to offensive right there, and while i'm not afraid of being 
offended (certainly catapulting baby fetuses to paint a house is 
pretty offensive, right?), the rape addendum didn't contribute to 
the quality of the piece.  

i wouldn't go so far as to say he shouldn't have performed the 
piece--having done pieces in the past that could be misinterpreted, 
i've stopped worrying about how the audience will take my pieces 
and just started doing them and letting the audience handle the 
information as it pleases.  It is not a performer's responsibility 
to be sensitive to the audience; by coming to the theater, an 
audience member has submitted informed consent that he/she will be 
subjected to viewpoints that may shock, bore, challenge, impress, 
depress, or offend him/her.

still, though, just because i defend busse's right to perform the 
piece doesn't mean i think he should have.  the piece would have 
benefitted from a careful re-reading on the author's part.  one of 
the biggest challenges in writing is figuring out what to cut.  
were i in busse's position, i would have kept the physical comedy 
but not gone on to explain it. 

Time: Sun, 19-Nov-2000 02:59:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

In response to Aprille's posting: I would just like to make it 
clear that I do not contest Mr. Busse's right to perform that 
which he wishes to perform; I am saying that as a performer, he 
ought to consider his audience and act accordingly.  I was 
offended by the skit in which it was suggested that dead babies 
made excellent paint.  I was still amused by it, though.  I was 
disgusted by the skit in which the gentlemen were eating things 
off of the floor; however, I was still amused.  Offensiveness and 
disgustingness are both entirely different from trauma.  Mr. Busse 
was attempting humor, but because of the traumatic element of his 
script, the skit was not humorous.  I am suggesting that Mr. Busse 
learn what humor is before he attempts to create it.  There are 
many fine lines which cannot be crossed in the art of humor, and 
Mr. Busse has yet to learn where these are.

Time: Sun, 19-Nov-2000 16:26:29 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.70

I think that Busse, having not performed a great deal of work at NS before has posited this piece
to be considered on its own, without 
especial consideration on the part of the audience as to his intentions.  As an audience member, I
have not seen Busse's work before, 
and I cannot say with absolute certainty that I know that this was supposed to be a comic piece.  I
cannot place it within a larger 
ouvre.  In fact, I think I made the decision sitting in the audience as I watched it to regard it as
dramatic, despite the evidence of the 
bra.  The phrase "invisible rape" is loaded with meaning which - authorial intentent aside - was
what I liked about the piece.  The 
phrase could describe the fact that our society marginalizes and ignores cases of sexual assault,
thereby making them invisible, or it 
could describe the sorts of social pressures which form our gender identities in tremendously
unhealthy ways.  While I realize that 
neither of these were most likely the author's intent, they represent the way in which I was able to
relate to the piece.  Every 
performer's work is subject to the possibility of being completely recontextualized by the
audience, especially when the performer 
provides as little information and texturing as was present here.  That is to say that when you
submit a piece to No Shame, you really 
SUBMIT it.  It is every audience member's right and desire to interperet every piece in the way
that seems most applicable to him or 
her personally.  It is a natural tendancy, and the only thing a writer / performer can do about it is
to provide enough information that 
his / her intent becomes so clear that it could not be anything else.  It may seem that the bra was
such evidence that this was a 
comedic bit, but my brains didn't think so during the show.  If, on the other hand, I had seen a
number of pieces by the same author, 
and it seemed that, on the whole, he was using sexual assault for comic value alone, I would not
have been able to respond to this 
piece in the way that I did.  Whatever.

Time: Sun, 19-Nov-2000 17:20:04 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.13

:The Order for 11/17/00:
:
:1)  "The Carbohydrate Cowboy!  How to Turn Dried Food Products 
:into Snazzy Get-up!" by Neil VanGorden 
:
:like someone said, it's not all that funny to recycle your 
:halloween costume and your pictures from your halloween party.  i 
:know what it feels like to be hard up for material...

Actually, this piece had previously been performed at Cedar Shame, 
and it was what Jacko felt to be his best work from said venue.  
He was not so much hard up for material as just trying to show all 
of us i.c. kids his finest moment.

:2)  "Damn, Baby, What'd You Do to Your Hair? Orlando, you like 
:it?  It's Autumn Sunrise" by Paul Rust 
:
:i don't think it was real pee

Oh, Aprille, you are so not right.  It was, in fact, real pee, and 
I know it's true, just as you, deep in your soul, know it.  No, 
no.  I am not kidding.  Yes, Rusty peed in his pants, for real.  
Yes, yes, yes, Aprille.  Yes.

:13)  "The Death of Allison McCabe:  A Public Apology to Allison 
:McCabe" by Al Angel 

Ready?  Ok.  It was me, Jarlen, R. L. Stangl, Snick, and...  BRAD 
SMITH, you forgot all about Brad "Funny" Smith, and he was in it. 
 Yes, he was.

Time: Sun, 19-Nov-2000 17:39:40 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.13


C. Okiishi: Faithless

Mose Hayward:The Standup, The Omelet, The Bike Pump, The Penis

Jarlen Lawson: Flashlight is Here
(Yes, this one, it was the very best of Arlen ever and great.  But 
if he really, really don't want to do, I suppose that Homemade 
Surgery MIGHT suffice)

J. River
This is the way we Rock the Fun House of Cool
(YES!!!!  With T. Kovaks playing Mose Hayward it WOULD work.  
Having been seen by so few people, and being THE BEST it should be 
in th' order)

N. Ballz: The Newest Orphan
(This is You pulling a close 2nd)

R. Stangl: Kevin Spacey
(See what I say about Jamal's skit and apply everything but the 
part about Kovy playing Mose here)

Nozebone the Band: No Pressure, No Pain

Aprille Clark: Why I hate the Frech and All Doctors Except Chris 
Okiishi
(the most stomach-churning piece, yes, oh what fun)

A. B. Bowman: You never forget an Elephant

R. F. Angel: I dont know!  I don't know, for God's sake!!

S. Galbraith: Don't Stop or We'll Die!
(if this is too close to bons for YOU, then I guess I can live 
with S'ghetti Meets Balls)

R. Greenlaw: Jumping Jack Flash has Gas, Gas, Gas

:M. Cassady: This Monologue does not Love You

P. R. Rust: Damn, Abay, What'd You Do to Your Hair?  Orlando, you 
like it?  It's Autumn Sunrise
(yes, close to bons.  But the PEE must continue!!)

N. Hansen: Sweeney Todd Bass: the Willie Barbour of Chew Street

Violence Guys (Heinen, Slye, Alexxx): Straightman stands tall, 
Straightman conquers all
(which may or may not be so great again, so I would stand full 
behind the decision to go with the skit that gave the Violence 
Guys their name: Did You Know That It Is Homecoming Weekend?)

Look way down,

--Al

Time: Sun, 19-Nov-2000 22:08:07 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.222

Just got back from the "Best of" order meeting, and, golly, what 
a great show we're gonna have!

Tell your friends!!

Bring your family!!

Drink your milk!!!

Time: Mon, 20-Nov-2000 17:11:14 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.217

All you guys and girls of no shame do a damn good job and I just 
want to let you all know who I think should be in the best of no 
shame.  Balls deserves to be in the best of just because he is the 
single most funniest person there.  The non-violence guys are on 
to something also and the best of would be a sham without these 
new commers.  I want them to do mangina at the best of becasue I 
know a few friends who missed it the first time around.  Take it 
easy no shamers  and I hope you consider these people.

Time: Mon, 20-Nov-2000 17:17:38 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.138

:13)  "The Death of Allison McCabe:  A Public Apology to Allison 
:McCabe" by Al Angel 
:I read this script beforehand.  I said 'Al, this is beautiful,but 
:it doesn't look much like an apology to me.'  He said 'It's an 
:apology in that it's sweet.'  Maybe so, but it's still about the 
:violent death of the person you're trying to apologize to.  And 
:the embarrasingly personal details (I'm sure mostly contrived) of 
:her relationship. If I was feeling embarassed or threatened by 
:someone's work in the past, I think a piece like this would 
:compound rather than ease that discomfort.  Maybe.  Then again, I 
:don't know Allison.

So I would just like to say...

The piece, in and of itself, was not the apology.  It was part of 
a package deal.  Allison McCabe (who was not in attendance, by the 
way) was delivered, albeit through an intermediary, a hard copy 
along with the words "Al wrote what he wrote without thinking 
about you in the least, not meaning to offend you, but 
unfortunately at the same time failing to take consideration for 
your feelings, and he is sorry that he hurt them."  Or something 
with the same gist.  The apology, really, was supposed to be in 
the apology, and The Death... was hoped to, in a way, make up for 
what was said on stage.
But Al, with embarrasingly personal details?
Well, every single personal detail was indeed made up, but that 
doesn't in the least make them less personal or embarassing.  What 
I was attempting to do was show what I had previously rediculed as 
being something beautiful, and those details were neccessary for 
that.  The bald fact had already been stated in public, in a 
vulgar way, and it seems to me that would have more the 
more embarrasing.  I do not know how Ms. McCabe has taken taken 
any of this, and I can only hope for the better.

Love me,

Al

Time: Mon, 20-Nov-2000 19:13:34 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Thanks for your input, buddy!  Sadly, the decisions have already 
been made.  Be sure to come to No Shame next week for the 
official announcement and see if you favoirtes got in!!

Time: Tue, 21-Nov-2000 03:08:37 GMT     IP: 172.128.222.128

My dad has been talking of selling my drums when my parents 
move.  I don't particularly want this.  Give me a reason to keep 
them.  Thinking of starting up a band?  Put me in it.  Got a 
band that needs a drummer?  Put me in it.

My style is that of a post-Pavement Gary Young/Blackie Onassis.

My influences include the Vandals, Pavement, Buddy Holly, lots 
more but that's what comes immediately to mind.

Experience:  Two-years as drummer for the ill-fated band, The 
Phuzz, and one-year experience as drummer for Chronus Monkey.  
Both bands were your typical shitty pop-punk bands that 
shouldn't have, and didn't make it past high school.

Assets:  
-My own instrument.
-Moderate songwriting ability.  
-Wide knowledge of music theory. (I'm sure that knowledge is up 
there somewhere)
-Moderate lyric writing ability.
-Can play guitar well enough to fool those who don't know any 
better.
-I'm a really great dancer.
-I could be the guy known to all the ladies as "the cute one"

Wanna rock with me?  Email me.  Click on my name and email me.

Dan Fairchild.

Time: Tue, 21-Nov-2000 16:11:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.175.105

I accept your apology Al

Time: Wed, 22-Nov-2000 05:25:04 GMT     IP: 63.25.166.247

Boy, was Okiishi right when he said that Best Of is going to be 
something else! Yee-haw!  It's gonna be a humdinger, let me tell 
you! I'm thankful for it.

What else am I thankful for?

The new inhaler prescription I got today that's helping me lead 
a normal life.

How To Decompose by King Toad.

Alyssa Bowman's careful guarding of my cowboy hat.

And funny funny Dagwood.

Thank!  Thank Thank Thank!  The Indians AND the Native Americans 
did it, why shouldn't you?  Jerks.

I'm Balls. Yeah, that's right! See you someday soon!

Time: Sat, 25-Nov-2000 02:17:53 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.34

Gosh its quiet.  Now that we have this break, and I ought to be starting on the two twelve page
papers which I have due monday, I 
thought instead, I'd take a moment to tell all of you (especially those of you who haven't visited
my website recently) how much I 
love you.  Some.  Also, here is interesting information you might like to know.  1)My graduation
party will be at my parents' house 
Dec. 10th.  If Mark agrees, it will also be Nozebone the Band's first set.  (That's right, 'set' as in
more than one song played in a row.  
Or else 'set' as in the properties used to dress a theatrical stage.  I can't recall which.)  How far
away is my parents' house?  Not as 
far away as Neil's parents' house, but further away than the Stangl Bowman River place where the
last excellent party I attended 
was held.  2) If you visit the Tofutti webpage, you can request a coupon for a free box of vegan
ice 'cream' snacks.  I got mine in the 
mail today.  You also get another coupon for $1 off any Tofutti product, and the chance to order
a Tofutti t-shirt for only $10.95 plus 
shipping.


Sincerest Love
     -Reverend Mega-Nick "Don't Touch My Monkey Bars" Lucre-Clark

Time: Tue, 28-Nov-2000 15:02:31 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

Hi all--got the following message from Ben Schmidt via his
announcement list.  If you want to be added to the list, drop him
a note at the email address he provides.

-Adam

---------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Folks,

Thats right.  BEN SCHMIDT --LIVE!

                  Wednesday, Dec 6  (next wed.)

                  THE MILL  9:00 p.m  --1:00 a.m.ish

                  No cover.

Thanks for taking an interest in my music. This e-mail list is to
keep you up-to-date about upcoming shows or other information
about my music. If you know others who would like to be on this
list, or would like to contact me, you can write me at:
brotherben@aol.com.

--So I'm checking my phone messages and I get a few seconds of
heavy breathing and I'm about to hang up when a voice pipes up
and I reealize, it's Keith Dempster--owner and proprietor of THE
MILL reastaraunt and bar. "would you be interested in wednesday
the 6th etc..etc.. Now, I'm nervous that it's such short notice,
"who will come? what will I wear? I've got a dentist appointment
that day" So I call Keith and (of course) I say " What the hell?
--sign me up"   So, I appologize for the late notice, But, I hope
to see you there! Feel free to bring friends -- or strangers for
that matter! Thanks .

Peace,

Ben.

Time: Wed, 29-Nov-2000 18:03:27 GMT     IP: 63.15.137.13

Just so everybody knows, it looks like No Shame will probably be 
in Mabie this week. The music department is staging some operas 
in the theatre B next week, and they've already installed their 
set and it looks too ornate and fragile to allow us No Shame 
types anywhere near it. Also, it's fixed into place, methinks, 
so we can't just move it over to the sides of the stage.

So prepare for Mabie. No stage directions like "POOTO enters 
through the center aisle" because that just ain't possible, kids!

Anyway, have a fun dead week! It will be fun! For you I hope!

Balls