Time: Thu, 01-Feb-2001 00:43:56 GMT     IP: 24.14.116.105

At Gabe's tonight (Wednesday), The Subordinates are having a 
show at nine. You should be there... if you aren't a pussy.

Time: Sat, 03-Feb-2001 09:52:05 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.146

0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin; J Erwin--J 
sings the national anthem Tom Waits-style (song).

0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl; C Stangl, A Lawson--C and A 
drink to the point of homoerotic pleasure--or nearly so (comedy 
sketch).

1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris; B Harris--B does skill-based 
tricks with three boxes (skill performance).

2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by A.J. 
Morgan; J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M Cassady--J looks 
angry about the injustice in his life while P and M heartily enjoy 
jokes from a book (comedy sketch).

3.  "Oysters on the Half Shell," by Al Angel; A Lawson, S 
Franklin, J River, A Angel (??), M Hansen (??), (??)--young 
friends choose pizza for a snack and turn out to be pop-culture 
icons (comedy sketch).

4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron; T Kovacs, 
S Negron, A Clarke, (??)--haircuts are exchanged and shaving cream 
is sprayed amid banter (comedy sketch).

5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott; JC Luxton--JC seeks 
acceptance in the Civil-War-Reenacters' amputee club (comedic 
monologue).
 
6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust; P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith--when 
M and A foil P's sneaky plan to avoid their company, his reaction 
becomes debilitating (comedy sketch).

7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild; D Fairchild--
physically-enhanced rhyming poem (comedy poem).

8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille Clarke; A 
Clarke, M Hansen--M the acupuncturist visits A in the hospital and 
slips into her IV (comedy sketch).

9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler "Skylo" Corbett; T"S" Corbett--T"S" 
sings and plays the guitar to a song about the interminable nature 
of Nebraska and things on the other side (song).

10.  "Dickbreath -&- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson; A Lawson--A gets 
injured while trick-or-treating, meets the devil, and learns the 
True Meaning of Halloween (comedic monologue).

11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
Galbraith; A Galbraith, C Okiishi, P Rust, N"B" Campbell, (??)--
Aaron proves his athletic prowess by holding P on his shoulders; a 
potentially dangerous cockfight ensues (comedy sketch).

12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle; B Tuttle (I presume)--B 
ruminates on the nature of the human condition and the sadness 
that comes with it (dramatic monologue).

13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
Money," by Elena Murphy; (??)--(??) smokes a cigarette and warns 
the audience that the No Shame board and regulars are actually 
hostile toward them yet simultaneously dependent on them. 
(dramantic monolgue/poem).

14.  "The Run Around Town," by Neil "Balls" Campbell; N"B" 
Campbell, A Galbraith--N"B" energetically reminisces about abusive 
relatives and makeshift homes constructed of garbage and children 
(comedy sketch/monologue).

15.  "Heaven's Percolator," by Chris Stangl;  C Stangl, C Okiishi, 
A Lawson--after discussing the sorrows in his life and discussing 
the nature of heaven, CS (with diabolical overtones) convinces CO 
to stab A.

Time: Sat, 03-Feb-2001 16:14:33 GMT     IP: 216.161.206.150

Just adding the times, for the record.  Rounded to the nearest 
half-minute, as that's as close as my clock could give me.  All 
in all, this was a good night timewise.  Most of the over-runs 
were worth it, and the entire night finished in less than 90 
minutes!  Good job, you time-conscious folk, you!

0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin (2:00)

0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl (1:30)

1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris (4:00)

2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by A.J. 
Morgan (5:00)

3.  "Oysters on the Half Shell," by Al Angel (1:30)

4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron (6:30)

5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott (6:00)

6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust (3:30)

7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild (4:30)

8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille Clarke 
(7:00)

9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler "Skylo" Corbett (3:30)

10.  "Dickbreath --&-- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson (4:00)

11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
Galbraith (4:00)

12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle (6:00)

13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
Money," by Elena Murphy (1:00)

14.  "The Run Around Town," by Neil "Balls" Campbell (5:00)

15.  "Heaven's Percolator," by Chris Stangl (uncertain)

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 07:04:01 GMT     IP: 24.15.108.234

hooray for toms kovack and sam the negro!!!  they are my 
favorite no shame!!!  I eat the 

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 07:28:04 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.60

 :4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron; T 
Kovacs, 
:S Negron, A Clarke, (??)--haircuts are exchanged and shaving 
cream 
:is sprayed amid banter (comedy sketch).

I see that my piece is mentioned here in the order. It IS true 
that I performed this piece (with my good friend Sam) at No Shame 
Theatre, and I am flattered that it would be included in the list 
of pieces which were performed. While it's true that haircuts were 
exchanged, I don't know if I would call the conversations 
"banter", so much as maybe "witty dialogue" or "scathing social 
commentary". But, hey! I AM the youngest performer at No Shame, 
and I got my high school diploma! I appreciate your comments! 
It'll just make me that much better next week! I think we 
performers are really getting better with practice! Yo!

-Tom

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 07:43:07 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.70

OK, will the the real Tom Kovacs please stand up?! Hey! I didn't 
write that last message! I don't know who's using my name, but I'm 
flattered. I don't know how cool it is to post as someone else, 
but I guess I pretty much agree with everything my anonymous 
double said, so what the hey! Just, from now on, leave the Tom 
Kovacs-ing to ME, Tom Kovacs! Thanks!
-Tom Kovacs.

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 08:09:35 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.70

First off, I'm assuming that someone thought they were being 
funny here, pretending to be Tom Kovacs.  
     The tongue in cheek style in which the false post was 
written seems to be a criticism of Thomas' own posting 
trademarks. Criticisms are fine and good, but they need to be 
delivered in a straightforward, honest way. By making an 
anonymous and ultimately condescending comment, you're distorting 
any actual value one might get from your post. 
     That said, I do agree with the point this post was probably 
trying to make: Tom's posts can be a trifle self centered and 
overly long.  
     Still, pretending to be someone else is wrong, and having 
your point of satire aimed at someone without taking 
responsibility for what you're saying is just plain cowardly. 

Well, that's my tirade for tonight! By the way, come see my band 
play at Sam's Pizza next Saturday night at 9 pm! No cover! 
FRAGGLE ROCK LIVES (phoney Beatle-mania DIES)! Hope to see you 
there!

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 08:41:50 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23


13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
:
Money," by Elena Murphy; (??)--(??) smokes a cigarette and warns 
:
the audience that the No Shame board and regulars are actually 
:
hostile toward them yet simultaneously dependent on them. 
:
(dramantic monolgue/poem).
:

I just wanted to point out...or clarify ...either way, bare with 
me I'm drunk...that said, I didn't intend to single out the board 
members or the regulars.  I think pretty highly of most of the 
same.  It was not intended to seriously offend, but if it had to 
offend it was meant to offend those who seriously feel the way 
portrayed in the piece, and I hope and assume most of you don't. 
(am I spelling offend right...it's looks awfully wrong) Anyway, 
the only other thing I wanted to point out...is that it was a 
clove dammit....and it was performed by Tricia King (I assume 
that's what the question marks are for). 

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 08:59:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23

I have heard it said that No Shame doesn't really welcome new 
people or something along that line....and I wanted to say that 
when I went to turn in my piece everyone was very wonderful and 
friendly to me, so thanks.

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 10:16:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

Seeing how I've obtained two clones in the last few hours, I 
guess that just goes to prove that the world revolves around 
me.  Too bad my clones are too independant minded to think along 
the same lines as the great self-centered megalomaniac known as 
Tom Kovacs.

One thing, straight from the horse's mouth; I think the best 
description for the dialogue during this week's piece is in 
fact "banter."  The dialogue was all meaningless salon-style 
small-talk that went absolutely nowhere.  If my clone can 
find "social commentary" in my off-key rendition of an old 
drinking song as a prelude to massive amounts of shaving cream 
being dumped on my person, then he is a deeper thinker than I.

Finally, I'm agreeing with Paul Rust here;
Criticize my writing and "acting" however you want, but use your 
own fucking name!

Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom I am Tom Tom Tom Mot Tom Tom Tom Omt Tom 
Tom Tom To mT om Tom Tom Tom Tom Thomas Kovacs Tom Tom 
Tomtomtomtomtomtotmotmotmtotmtomtomtomtomtomtomtomtomtomtotmtom

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 19:46:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.21

I'm supposing that that Danny-o-foyo etc. etc. was supposed 
to be me.  It wasn't.  You probably could have guessed that 
by the fact that Tom #2 and Dan #2 posted within a half hour 
of each other.  Not that Tom and Sam AREN'T my favorites 
at NST, just wanted to let you know that I, too, am a victim.

Who are these Ruttles?

But being that whoever it was couldn't finish a complete 
thought, won't even bother.

Time: Sun, 04-Feb-2001 22:33:31 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.105

:I'm supposing that that Danny-o-foyo etc. etc. was supposed 
:
to be me.  It wasn't.  You probably could have guessed that 
:
by the fact that Tom #2 and Dan #2 posted within a half hour 
:
of each other

Oddly, that is just a coincidence. As a fake Tom, I can tell you 
that while I WAS inspired by the fake Dan, I am not the fake Dan. 
I am a fake Tom. Tom Kovacs. Keep it straight, man!

-Tom Kovacs 

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 00:14:26 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162


Hello everybody! I am the real live Dan Brooks! I am a big piece 
of wad! Everyone knows I lick my butt hole! Ask anybody! I have 
to go now, as it is time to lick my real Dan Brooks butt hole!

Very Truly Yours,
Dan Brooks

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 00:25:39 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162

Goddammit, Mose.

Just because I'm an easily interested person and this whole 
online impersonation thing raises some interesting questions, I 
would say that the best way to identify who is impersonating you 
on the message board (Mr. Fairchild, this is pretty much directed 
at you, as I don't really know who Tom Kovacs is and I'm suddenly 
feeling very old and disconnected from my old writing haunts, but 
let's continue) is to analyze the writing style of the post. You 
don't write like the fake post of you, but I think I could narrow 
the field of contestants down to about five people who do. And of 
those five people, maybe two of them regularly use multiple 
exclamation points like that. (Of course, those original five 
people have had enough of an impact on the general pool of 
writers at No Shame -- particularly the new ones, I hear -- that 
the post really could be from anyone. But I digress, and worse 
yet I do so in a way that undermines my original point. Also, I 
get parenthetical way too easily.) So do a little literary 
handwriting analysis, and all of a sudden you know who to look at 
with seething resentment, promising to yourself that you'll 
confront them, because doing that sort of thing is your New 
Year's resolution, after all, and this year you're losing ten 
pounds and taking charge of your life, starting tomorrow.

I work to much and it's not on the things I love, usually. Also, 
my heat was off for two weeks. I live in a slum. This being said, 
I'm deliriously happy. In case you were staying up night, 
wondering, maybe reading a book, touching yourself, and wondering 
again. Sigh. Good night, sweet prince.

Dan. For fucking real.

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 00:31:03 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.47

:
Finally, I'm agreeing with Paul Rust here;
:
Criticize my writing and "acting" however you want, but use your 
:
own fucking name!

Actually, you're WEREN'T agreeing with Paul Rust. I'm sorry to 
say that my name, too, was being used in vain. I didn't post that 
message. 
But, like Tom, I too agree with some of what it said, in that: 
yes, pretending to be someone else IS wrong, and yes, making 
criticisms without taking credit for them IS cowardly. So keep 
your filthy hands off my "Paul Rust", says me, Paul Rust! 
(Also, fake Paul was lying about my band playing at Sam's on 
Saturday, we're playing TONIGHT, in about an hour. 8 o'clock! 
Sam's Pizza! No cover!) 

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 04:17:03 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.140

:Just because I'm an easily interested person and this whole 
:online impersonation thing raises some interesting questions, I 
:would say that the best way to identify who is impersonating you 
:on the message board (Mr. Fairchild, this is pretty much directed 
:at you, as I don't really know who Tom Kovacs is)

Any two great guys who share such a great name must surely share a 
knack for thinking.  Deduction, if you will.  By the time you 
posted this, I was already well underway in uncovering the ruffian 
responsible for the theft of my identity.  But thank you, Mr. 
Brooks.  You're support has really been uplifting to me in this 
time of trials.

I did study the stylistic tendencies of the post written falsely 
under my name, and I have, with absolute certainty, discovered the 
thief.

The culprit is none other than Tom Kovacks!  Tom, I must insist 
that you stop this trickery at once.  Toying with another person's 
identity might seem like a game to you, but this is not a 
vicitimless crime and real people do get hurt.

Just for that, Tom, you are no longer my favorite no shame 
performer.  I fact, I think I'm really beginning to hate you.  But 
I still like your negro friend!!!  Sam!!!  Do you see him 
involoved in this terrible masquerade?  You could learn a thing or 
two from him.

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 05:10:21 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.18

Nope, i didn't post this one, either.  it is obviously not written 
in my style.  Just read my reviews to find that one out.  plus I 
would never have mispelled Tom's name.  But on to the point 
of this message.  Being that I couldn't care less who is doing 
this since he obviously isn't fooling anyone, I'm not going to 
try to find out who this cat is.  That's what assholes who pull 
this shit want people to do.  Just imagining this complete 
douche checking the message board every ten minutes to 
see what other complete idiocy he can contribute is enough 
to make his identity a moot point. Nope, I'm sorry, I don't care 
who it is but I'm having fun laughing at his/her expense, 
anyway.

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 06:03:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

The culprit is none other than Tom Kovacks!  Tom, I must insist 
that you stop this trickery at once.  Toying with another 
person's identity might seem like a game to you, but this is not 
a vicitimless crime and real people do get hurt.
:
Just for that, Tom, you are no longer my favorite no shame 
performer.  I fact, I think I'm really beginning to hate you.  
But I still like your negro friend!!!  Sam!!!  Do you see him 
involoved in this terrible masquerade?  You could learn a thing 
or two from him.



All right, all right.  I guess I'm suddenly playing this game 
with you shitheads now, aren't I?  First, I don't think the real 
Dan Fairchild wrote this message, and if he did, he can tell me 
personally this Friday.  My reasons for believing this are three; 
1) There's recently been a lot of impersonater personalities, 
quite possibly written by the same lying asshole, that have shown 
up in the last day. 2) There's a bit of silence in this board 
room.  None of the names that ever make constructive points have 
said anything beyond "wait a second, I didn't write that" for the 
last two days.  3) Dan Fairchild may have fun slaughtering his 
own name continuously in this board room, but he doesn't 
typically do that to the names of other performers.  And, if Dan 
would take the time to misspell my name, he'd do it a different 
way every time, using something a bit more creative 
than "kovacks."

That said, the real Tom Kovacs is here to tell everybody that he 
is not the culpret this fake Dan Fairchild has accused him of 
being.  I may be young and (gasp) naiive like my own impersonator 
kindly pounted out after reading over all of my old postings and 
combinging everything brazingly self-centered or stupid sounding 
into one meaningless posting, but I do not have a fucking 
identity crisis.

I'm sure that' once again I've really pissed somebody off through 
one of the reviews I've written.  I've got a good idea who that 
depressed little crybaby is, but I'm not going to openly accuse 
anybody without proof because I'm too nice to do something like 
that.

To save a little face, I'm publically anouncing that I'm not 
saying anything in this board room for the rest of this week.  
Therefore, anything that's written under my name or anything that 
continues on the pattern of finding any possible excuse to debase 
me through the use of another name is probably written by our 
resident bad comedian with no life.  Have a great time this week, 
everybody.

Tom Kovacs

P. S.  Tom Kovacs' clones are dicks who deserve to die.  If 
anybody finds them, bring them to me so I can sever their heads 
with my bare hands and become the first American to survive 
multiple suicides.  Meanwhile, I suggest that these clones sink 
into a deeper depression by realizing that they will never be as 
cool as the high school graduate who gave up his hair for the 
stage.  Impudent little fuckers- they are the Bud Light to my 
Guiness!

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 06:53:48 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23

As long as there are all these clones running around maybe some 
of them could comment on the last show?

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 06:58:25 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.16

0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin; J Erwin--
J sings the national anthem Tom Waits-style (song).

Starting off this way made No Shame seem like a national 
treasure. That's really funny to me. I can imagine how great it 
would be if No Shame had an annual T.V. Christmas Special where 
college football stars traded jokes about how big they were and 
Crystal Gale sang "Silent Night."  Plus, that was a good 
impression. Although I'm more familiar with Waits through his 
acting than his music.

0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl; C Stangl, A Lawson--C and 
A drink to the point of homoerotic pleasure--or nearly so 
(comedy sketch).

On the surface, these sketches are about drinking booze, but I 
think they say just as much about how adult males relate to each 
other. I'm assuming this is intentional since I've read in other 
Stangl reviews that male relationships intrigue him. If that's 
the case, this is probably the most accurate account of every 
guy's unsaid fear/desire/understanding of each other. Uh, but 
don't think I'm a homo or anything for saying that because I'm 
not and I'll punch you if you think I am!!!

1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris; B Harris--B does skill-
based tricks with three boxes (skill performance).

A lot of the sketches tonight seemed to play with our notions of 
good, ol' fashioned entertainment (i.e. the patriotic beginning, 
various intentionally corny jokes). I liked this sorta for the 
same reason.  As much as I'm entertained by No Shame's 
regular "alternative" (or whatever it's called) form of 
writing/performing, there's still a part of me that sees stuff 
like this and think,"That Entertainment! Part 3."

2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by A.J. 
Morgan; J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M Cassady--J 
looks angry about the injustice in his life while P and M 
heartily enjoy jokes from a book (comedy sketch).

This is an example of one of those earlier 
mentioned "intentionally corny jokes" sketches. I thought this 
was a wonderful piece about what we consider to be amusing - 
simple, fun-loving entertainment or laughing AT people. That 
said, this made a great companion to the last piece. My only 
dislike about this sketch was my performance. I lost my place in 
the script and really screwed up the timing, which was so good 
as written. Sorry.

3.  "Oysters on the Half Shell," by Al Angel; A Lawson, S 
Franklin, J River, A Angel (??), M Hansen (??), (??)--young 
friends choose pizza for a snack and turn out to be pop-culture 
icons (comedy sketch).

I really enjoy pieces that utilize the "no costumes/no set" 
aspect of No Shame as a benefit instead of a challenge. 
Obviously, this was such a case since you didn't know they were 
the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or TMNT if you're too busy to 
say things completely) until the last lines. Oh, and lastly, 
children's entertainment icons using profanity is always funny.

4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron; T 
Kovacs, S Negron, A Clarke, (??)--haircuts are exchanged and 
shaving cream is sprayed amid banter (comedy sketch).

Haircutting on stage was new and bold to me, so watching this 
piece was exciting as an audience member. However, I found out 
later, someone did this last year. For people who didn't know 
this, I'm sure it was exciting to watch, too, but for people who 
did, it was probably like "been there, done that." Although the 
boldness of doing this was honorable, I didn't like the gay 
stereotype of the hair stylist. It would have been one thing to 
make fun of people who believe in this stereotype, but to use it 
solely for laughs is insulting.

5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott; JC Luxton--JC seeks 
acceptance in the Civil-War-Reenacters' amputee club (comedic 
monologue).

In the beginning, I was a little worried this was going to be a 
dramatic piece (like that cheesy letter Abe Lincoln sent to the 
mother whose sons died in the Civil War). Fortunately, it 
wasn't. What I liked most about this piece was the performance. 
When JC got hysterical, it felt very controlled without the 
feeling that the actor was losing his grip on the character.

6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust; P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith--
when M and A foil P's sneaky plan to avoid their company, his 
reaction becomes debilitating (comedy sketch).

This came from three different sketches I wanted to: 1) a sketch 
where a person stammered for its entirety 2) a sketch that made 
fun of people's oft-repeated thoughts on over-discussed topics 
and critiqued my judgemental nature of them and 3) a sketch that 
showed how people uncoformtably comminucate with disabled 
people. By trying to roll 3 sketches into one, I don't think I 
did justice to any. I thought Aaron and Mike's performances were 
good though.

7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild; D Fairchild--
physically-enhanced rhyming poem (comedy poem).

I like Dan's self-awareness. My favorite piece of his has been 
the "Chris Fucking Stangl" piece because I enjoyed its 
willingness to be very honest with insecurities. That's why the 
thing I liked most about this poem was its awareness of a writer 
trying not to get a cheap laugh. By conedmning and then 
succumbing to Kevin Smith's "dick and fart jokes," he showed the 
bain of a No Shame writer's existence. 

8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille Clarke; 
A Clarke, M Hansen--M the acupuncturist visits A in the hospital 
and slips into her IV (comedy sketch).

Aprille's really been on a roll. After a few pieces I found 
uninspired, I really liked last week's. And this week's was even 
better. It was cool how she juggled the many ways men insert 
themselves into women (physically, metaphorically, and 
lyrically), but still be amusing without a heavy-
handed "message." 

9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler "Skylo" Corbett; T"S" Corbett--
T"S" sings and plays the guitar to a song about the interminable 
nature of Nebraska and things on the other side (song).

When it comes to The Beatles, people usually detest Paul 
McCartney's "story songs" for being too concentrated on 
narrative than personal examination.  For some reason, I have 
always enjoyed them though. And most "story songs" for that 
matter. 
This applies to Tyler's piece. I respected his verse 1-2-
3 "story" approach of talking about his arrival home.  Like 
McCartney's "story songs," they're kind of talking an artistic 
leap in the fact that people will think they're cheesy, but I 
like them.

10.  "Dickbreath --&-- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson; A Lawson--A 
gets injured while trick-or-treating, meets the devil, and 
learns the True Meaning of Halloween (comedic monologue).

Out of all the No Shame regulars, Arlen's the best at being 
sad/funny, which is my favorite form of humor. This was also 
really apparent in Neil's terrific orphan piece. By not going 
for an easy laugh, but relying on slow, somber character 
development to please an audience, Arlen's pieces usually have 
the great double-punch of being humorous and touching.  Having 
this piece's character be an alcoholic child who talks to the 
devil is a pretty obvious example of that.

11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
Galbraith; A Galbraith, C Okiishi, P Rust, N"B" Campbell, (??)--
Aaron proves his athletic prowess by holding P on his shoulders; 
a potentially dangerous cockfight ensues (comedy sketch).

I still think about this piece and laugh. Absurd situations in 
regular circumstances can be risky in terms of tone, but this 
sketch really nailed it. 
On a side note, this sketch really mashed my pee-pee.

12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle; B Tuttle (I presume)--B 
ruminates on the nature of the human condition and the sadness 
that comes with it (dramatic monologue).

I keep thinking about this piece as a form of "Seinfeldian 
Drama." Like how Seinfeild's observational humor is "funny 
because it's true," this piece was "touching because it's true." 
At the risk of gene

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 07:01:46 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.68

we're playing TONIGHT, in about an hour. 8 o'clock! 
:
Sam's Pizza! No cover!)

I went, I waited, I saw no band, I cried. Why should one want to 
raise my hopes with promises of the beautiful music that is the 
Subordinates, only to let these same hopes be crushed under the 
weight of their sophomoric and thoughtless prank? I have spoken 
with Mr. Rust, and his band was never scheduled to play tonight, 
nor did he ever make any claim to that effect. This sort of 
deception is not right. It's cruel. It is causing myself and 
others quite a bit of emotional distress. The only reason a 
person would involve themself in this sort of deception is a lack 
of any real talent on their part, an inability to elicit any sort 
of positive feedback from their peers. So fuck you, you 
imposters. You want to get a rise out of people? Well you got 
one. Congratulations. 

It is the piano who's been drinking,

Meredith   

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 07:09:04 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.68

One more thing. To the shithead who keeps saying "sam the 
negro": that is offensive! You are not only showing what an 
asshole you are by impersinating Dan, you are using racist 
language which isn't funny under any context! I'm sure that by 
now people understand that Dan didn't post those messages, but I 
just wanted to make it clear that I'm sure Dan would never make 
that sort of a joke in any of his posts, and that the one who is 
doing it is a twisted fuck. There. My week of silence begins NOW.

-Tom Fucking Kovacs. 

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 16:27:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.223

While ISCA may be a bit more of a challenge to navigate (and the 
No Shame forum there is really, really quiet at the moment), one 
thing can be said for it:  Since you create a password-protected 
account identities are easier to preserve there.

If this (and a slight learning curve) sound at all appealing, 
feel free to discuss the show by telnetting to 
bbs.isca.uiowa.edu ...

-Adam

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 16:57:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.223

:2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by A.J. 
:Morgan; J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M Cassady--J 
:looks angry about the injustice in his life while P and M 
:heartily enjoy jokes from a book (comedy sketch).
:
:This is an example of one of those earlier 
:mentioned "intentionally corny jokes" sketches. I thought this 
:was a wonderful piece about what we consider to be amusing - 
:simple, fun-loving entertainment or laughing AT people. That 
:said, this made a great companion to the last piece. My only 
:dislike about this sketch was my performance. I lost my place in 
:the script and really screwed up the timing, which was so good 
:as written. Sorry.

Actually, script-problem moments are often at least as funny as 
scripted ones.  Not scure about scripted script-problem moments 
though.

:5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott; JC Luxton--JC seeks 
:acceptance in the Civil-War-Reenacters' amputee club (comedic 
:monologue).

The forlorn, tongueless quadraplegic flapping and whimpering 
during the excellently slow fade was an amazing image.  And 
knowing his pride had walked him all the way to the chopping 
block made it even better.

:7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild; D Fairchild--
:physically-enhanced rhyming poem (comedy poem).

This piece didn't do a lot for me, but you have to give the guy 
credit for successfully rhyming "orange" with "door hinge."

-Adam

Time: Mon, 05-Feb-2001 17:26:45 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.68

I'm glad to see people are ignoring all the idiocy to actually 
review the SHOW. I will do likewise in a bit. 1st, I do want to 
say one more thing about all the impersonations: the mark of any 
no-talent hack posing as a comedian is the endless repetition of 
a questionably funny joke. I mean, I can sort of see how one 
might think pretending to be someone else would be funny (heck, 
I even wrote a review where I was pretending to be an audience 
member once), but enough's enough. Doing it once is a stupid 
prank, doing it repeatedly is proof of some serious 
emotional/psychological fucked-up-ness.  

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 00:42:45 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.156

     0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin

I had seen James do a Tom Waits impression at NS before, and 
having known that he was going to do this before the show I wasn't 
too thrilled about seeing a rerun, and yet, the combination of 
that song and that singer brought something surprising and new to 
each.  Yay.

     0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl

I keep waiting for these drinking skits to become repetitive and 
for that reason really obnoxious.  Somehow Chris has managed to 
keep these all fresh and interesting.  I just hope that if by some 
strange circumstance he runs out of ideas he has the presence of 
mind to stop.

     1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris

And I feel almost the same way about this.  Except that besides 
the fact that Adita always has some new trick up his sleeve, the 
nature of his act is one of immediacy (not to say that a 
theatrical performance does not have an immediacy of its own, but 
let's not trifle with semantics here, okay?).  Written words will 
remain unchanged on a sheet of paper, but not even Adita always 
knows if he can pull off his trick.

     2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by 
A.J. 
     Morgan

Hambo Joe's writing and performance are always very clear and 
concise to the point that these are funny in and of themselves.  
And yet he's always got a concept that when put through the Soccer 
Pele sketch machine comes out as hilarity.

     3.  "Oysters on the Half Shell," by Al Angel

I wrote this.

     4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron

There was once a time when I thought that cutting hair on the NS 
stage was a good idea.  This was when Mike Cassady had really, 
really long hair and was telling me that he was sick of it and 
wanted it cut off.  One of us suggested he do it at NS.  We both 
said, "yeah that would be cool!"  And then we both quickly changed 
our minds and Mike cut his hair in the privacy of something not 
onstage.  This is because it is a dumb idea.  It just might work 
as an integral part of something interesting, but never as the 
crux of a skit.  Everything about this seemed to revolve around 
the idea 'we're cutting each other's hair.'  Everybody knows you 
aren't going to get a good haircut onstage in front of an audience 
in five (six and a half) minutes or less, whether your barber can 
see or not, and that the person receiving the haircut obviously 
plans to get a really short cut, by someone who knows how to do 
it, anyway.  Also, as with Negron's work in the past, his use of 
stereotypical/misogynistic/offensive comedy would be funny if I 
could ever make myself believe for one second that it was 
tongue-in-cheek.  But no, I'd bet he really thinks a junior high 
school style stereotypical impersonation on a homosexual 
hairdresser is funny.  And we're still dealing with Kovacs' 
continuing problems with delivery.  I.e., no reaction but a 
bemused smile directly prior to (and some laughter during) the 
line "oh, you cut me, oh, I'm bleeding."

     5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott

I also expected this to be a bad, boring historical bit.  And then 
it started getting weird, in a rather funny way, but being that I 
had expected something "serious," I felt bad laughing, and so 
refrained.  Then the piece turned all the way around, into all out 
comedy, and I think that that humor, combined with the release of 
that I-shouldn't-be-laughing-at-this bottled-up energy is what 
made me laugh so god damned much.

     6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust

Having learned Paul's secret (combining 3 skits into 1), I find 
myself unable to look at the piece as something in and of itself. 
 So all I can really do is agree with him in that retrospectively 
I can see three distinct idea, none of which was done full 
justice.  Characteristic good performances all around, however.

     7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild

The rhyme for orange was a wonderful thing.  The rest was 
hackneyed and uninspired.  Not even a self awareness of how lame a 
joke is will make it any better.  The title suggests to me that 
what was truly important to the piece was the rhyme, in which case 
I'd suggest stripping the poem down to just the two lines 
necessary to achieve that.  The poem itself, however, suggests 
that the rhymed was conceived as a part of something else.  And I 
just wasn't into the ideas behind that something else.

     8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille 
Clarke

I've told that this piece was once longer than the seven minutes 
through which it was done on stage.  This would explain something 
that nagged me while I was watching it and afterwards.  It felt 
really underdeveloped.  Like, sometimes I couldn't quite see how 
or why it had moved from one to another.  And this was a shame.  
The image at the end of this was the most 
beautiful/disturbing/wonderful/painful thing to be found in any of 
the scripts that night, and was my most favorite idea from the 
whole show.  But it didn't get the build it needed to be as 
powerful as it should have been.  It makes me sad, and think I 
would rather have seen the whole thing or nothing at all.  But 
perhaps I'm just an idealist_  Another thing that stopped the 
piece from doing itself justice was that it was, as noted in 
Aprille's annotation, a comedy sketch.  This really distracted me 
from what was going on rather than drawing me into it.  Aprille's 
formula of late has been to go for a steady of stream of laughs 
and then without warning stick in the knife and simultaneously 
twist it.  What this joint shows me, as hold to that last passage, 
is that she doesn't need to hide behind jokes to achieve a 
surprising, gut turning ending.  And despite all of my criticism, 
this is my absolute favorite Aprille Clark piece ever.

     9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler Corbett

Standard folky lyrics.  Not particularly bad, but not all that 
interesting or engaging.  Good voice.  The sounds coming out of 
his guitar were great.  I loved that.  He was worth listening to 
for that alone.  Perhaps given time to grow as a songwriter he 
could become something way cool (he's already got that sound, as I 
have said).  Of course, I'm only basing all of this on one song, 
the circumstances of which are unknown.  Sheesh.

     10.  "Dickbreath --&-- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson

Imagery has always been one of Jamal's strong points.  This piece, 
being no exception, had several wonderful haunting images.  These 
were also ridiculous and funny.  It's neat when a writer can take 
you both ways, although it seems that Jamal's strongest writing 
has traditionally focused on one side (serious v. comedy) or the 
other (i.e., flashlight is here = way serious, I wrote this sketch 
all by myself = way comedy).  But this one shows growth in 
bringing the two together.

     11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
     Galbraith

By far the best NS title I've heard/read in a while.  Very 
standard SNL skit set up: one zany idea that is applied with 
repetition to the ordinary world (i.e., goat boy), but the skit 
was shorter and the idea was better.  This is not at all my 
favorite skit format, and I've seen Stub's creativity better used 
by different forms, but this was done well and the fights were 
funny.

     12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle

Like Negron's stuff, I might have liked this if I'd thought it was 
tongue in cheek.  I can respect that Tuttle's writing and 
performance was earnest and, but it was still trite and seemed 
borne from a high-schoolish "not only is everything 
black-and-white, its all black" attitude.  More like grasping for 
emotion than actually bringing it to the stage/inspiring it in the 
audience.

     13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
     Money," by Elena Murphy

The cigarette was unnecessary, but it looked neat when the lights 
when down.  This came across to me as one of those "gee, I'd like 
to write something for NS. 

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 00:42:27 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.156

     0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin

I had seen James do a Tom Waits impression at NS before, and 
having known that he was going to do this before the show I wasn't 
too thrilled about seeing a rerun, and yet, the combination of 
that song and that singer brought something surprising and new to 
each.  Yay.

     0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl

I keep waiting for these drinking skits to become repetitive and 
for that reason really obnoxious.  Somehow Chris has managed to 
keep these all fresh and interesting.  I just hope that if by some 
strange circumstance he runs out of ideas he has the presence of 
mind to stop.

     1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris

And I feel almost the same way about this.  Except that besides 
the fact that Adita always has some new trick up his sleeve, the 
nature of his act is one of immediacy (not to say that a 
theatrical performance does not have an immediacy of its own, but 
let's not trifle with semantics here, okay?).  Written words will 
remain unchanged on a sheet of paper, but not even Adita always 
knows if he can pull off his trick.

     2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by 
A.J. 
     Morgan

Hambo Joe's writing and performance are always very clear and 
concise to the point that these are funny in and of themselves.  
And yet he's always got a concept that when put through the Soccer 
Pele sketch machine comes out as hilarity.

     3.  "Oysters on the Half Shell," by Al Angel

I wrote this.

     4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron

There was once a time when I thought that cutting hair on the NS 
stage was a good idea.  This was when Mike Cassady had really, 
really long hair and was telling me that he was sick of it and 
wanted it cut off.  One of us suggested he do it at NS.  We both 
said, "yeah that would be cool!"  And then we both quickly changed 
our minds and Mike cut his hair in the privacy of something not 
onstage.  This is because it is a dumb idea.  It just might work 
as an integral part of something interesting, but never as the 
crux of a skit.  Everything about this seemed to revolve around 
the idea 'we're cutting each other's hair.'  Everybody knows you 
aren't going to get a good haircut onstage in front of an audience 
in five (six and a half) minutes or less, whether your barber can 
see or not, and that the person receiving the haircut obviously 
plans to get a really short cut, by someone who knows how to do 
it, anyway.  Also, as with Negron's work in the past, his use of 
stereotypical/misogynistic/offensive comedy would be funny if I 
could ever make myself believe for one second that it was 
tongue-in-cheek.  But no, I'd bet he really thinks a junior high 
school style stereotypical impersonation on a homosexual 
hairdresser is funny.  And we're still dealing with Kovacs' 
continuing problems with delivery.  I.e., no reaction but a 
bemused smile directly prior to (and some laughter during) the 
line "oh, you cut me, oh, I'm bleeding."

     5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott

I also expected this to be a bad, boring historical bit.  And then 
it started getting weird, in a rather funny way, but being that I 
had expected something "serious," I felt bad laughing, and so 
refrained.  Then the piece turned all the way around, into all out 
comedy, and I think that that humor, combined with the release of 
that I-shouldn't-be-laughing-at-this bottled-up energy is what 
made me laugh so god damned much.

     6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust

Having learned Paul's secret (combining 3 skits into 1), I find 
myself unable to look at the piece as something in and of itself. 
 So all I can really do is agree with him in that retrospectively 
I can see three distinct idea, none of which was done full 
justice.  Characteristic good performances all around, however.

     7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild

The rhyme for orange was a wonderful thing.  The rest was 
hackneyed and uninspired.  Not even a self awareness of how lame a 
joke is will make it any better.  The title suggests to me that 
what was truly important to the piece was the rhyme, in which case 
I'd suggest stripping the poem down to just the two lines 
necessary to achieve that.  The poem itself, however, suggests 
that the rhymed was conceived as a part of something else.  And I 
just wasn't into the ideas behind that something else.

     8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille 
Clarke

I've told that this piece was once longer than the seven minutes 
through which it was done on stage.  This would explain something 
that nagged me while I was watching it and afterwards.  It felt 
really underdeveloped.  Like, sometimes I couldn't quite see how 
or why it had moved from one to another.  And this was a shame.  
The image at the end of this was the most 
beautiful/disturbing/wonderful/painful thing to be found in any of 
the scripts that night, and was my most favorite idea from the 
whole show.  But it didn't get the build it needed to be as 
powerful as it should have been.  It makes me sad, and think I 
would rather have seen the whole thing or nothing at all.  But 
perhaps I'm just an idealist_  Another thing that stopped the 
piece from doing itself justice was that it was, as noted in 
Aprille's annotation, a comedy sketch.  This really distracted me 
from what was going on rather than drawing me into it.  Aprille's 
formula of late has been to go for a steady of stream of laughs 
and then without warning stick in the knife and simultaneously 
twist it.  What this joint shows me, as hold to that last passage, 
is that she doesn't need to hide behind jokes to achieve a 
surprising, gut turning ending.  And despite all of my criticism, 
this is my absolute favorite Aprille Clark piece ever.

     9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler Corbett

Standard folky lyrics.  Not particularly bad, but not all that 
interesting or engaging.  Good voice.  The sounds coming out of 
his guitar were great.  I loved that.  He was worth listening to 
for that alone.  Perhaps given time to grow as a songwriter he 
could become something way cool (he's already got that sound, as I 
have said).  Of course, I'm only basing all of this on one song, 
the circumstances of which are unknown.  Sheesh.

     10.  "Dickbreath --&-- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson

Imagery has always been one of Jamal's strong points.  This piece, 
being no exception, had several wonderful haunting images.  These 
were also ridiculous and funny.  It's neat when a writer can take 
you both ways, although it seems that Jamal's strongest writing 
has traditionally focused on one side (serious v. comedy) or the 
other (i.e., flashlight is here = way serious, I wrote this sketch 
all by myself = way comedy).  But this one shows growth in 
bringing the two together.

     11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
     Galbraith

By far the best NS title I've heard/read in a while.  Very 
standard SNL skit set up: one zany idea that is applied with 
repetition to the ordinary world (i.e., goat boy), but the skit 
was shorter and the idea was better.  This is not at all my 
favorite skit format, and I've seen Stub's creativity better used 
by different forms, but this was done well and the fights were 
funny.

     12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle

Like Negron's stuff, I might have liked this if I'd thought it was 
tongue in cheek.  I can respect that Tuttle's writing and 
performance was earnest and, but it was still trite and seemed 
borne from a high-schoolish "not only is everything 
black-and-white, its all black" attitude.  More like grasping for 
emotion than actually bringing it to the stage/inspiring it in the 
audience.

     13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
     Money," by Elena Murphy

The cigarette was unnecessary, but it looked neat when the lights 
when down.  This came across to me as one of those "gee, I'd like 
to write something for NS. 

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 00:47:19 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.156

     11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
     Galbraith

By far the best NS title I've heard/read in a while.  Very 
standard SNL skit set up: one zany idea that is applied with 
repetition to the ordinary world (i.e., goat boy), but the skit 
was shorter and the idea was better.  This is not at all my 
favorite skit format, and I've seen Stub's creativity better used 
by different forms, but this was done well and the fights were 
funny.

     12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle

Like Negron's stuff, I might have liked this if I'd thought it was 
tongue in cheek.  I can respect that Tuttle's writing and 
performance was earnest and, but it was still trite and seemed 
borne from a high-schoolish "not only is everything 
black-and-white, its all black" attitude.  More like grasping for 
emotion than actually bringing it to the stage/inspiring it in the 
audience.

     13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
     Money," by Elena Murphy

The cigarette was unnecessary, but it looked neat when the lights 
when down.  This came across to me as one of those "gee, I'd like 
to write something for NS.  What will I write?" sorts of pieces.  
I suppose the word I'm looking for is "uninspired," and yes I know 
how pretentious that sounds (reads), especially with regard to a 
venue as ridiculous as NS and coming from somebody whose piece 
that week featured all four of the teenage mutant ninja turtles 
AND aprille o'neil.  But hey, we're dealing with some kind of 
poetry here, and the world of poets is one filled with pretention, 
anyway, so I'm just trying to fit in.  Anyway, far be it from me 
to discourage anyone from writing anything for NS.  Come back.

     14.  "The Run Around Town," by Neil Campbell

A good, solid piece.  Some great lines (i.e., with regard to the 
roof made out of children  nobody wanted and how close the 
narrator came to being a part of it).  Very energetic.  Vaguely 
formulaic.  Fun and neat, but not outstanding within Neil's body 
of work.

15. "Heaven's Percolator," by Chris Stangl

This too, I think, could have used a bit more development, 
especially as far as the doctor's character was concerned.  By the 
time he killed the man I didn't really feel like I knew enough 
about him to understand what brought him to do it, or why I should 
care that he did or for his reasons.  These are considerations 
that might be better served by a medium lacking the constraint of 
a 5 (somewhere from5-10) minute time limit, such as a 10 
minute-full length play.  Regardless of content, however, the 
language set up a great mood that made the second-to-final image 
beautiful and memorable ("_nothing's happened [or changed, or 
whatever, I can't quite recall_].").  Yet I thought this moment 
would have been made all the more memorable had it not been 
disrupted by the final "a man comes in for a cup of coffee."  If 
it was truly needed for something, I honestly can't tell what.


You may now return to your childish foolishness and your 
self-righteous, sanctimonious preaching.  Fuckers.

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 01:48:56 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.42

i am introspective dan ofair ochild.  i love a baby.  i love it!!! 
 so why do i claim to not be bothered about a fakee post of me and 
then i spend all the days obsessing about it?  to the point where 
i bring it up as the only topic in a post that was made when 
people were just starting to move on from these terrible, terrible 
tragedyes?!!  what ho?!  you gross jerk, covax.  i still like your 
colored friend more.  i don't like you!!  but you are smart, like 
a butt filled with peas.  i too will remain silent for a week.  
for a month!!  for a year!!  i will shut up!!!  quiet dan 
4-ever!!!!!!!!!!

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 03:55:18 GMT     IP: 64.12.103.184


I already had the rest of this review done last night. Then I 
found out only half made it up. So here it is. Enjoy, my children!

11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
Galbraith; A Galbraith, C Okiishi, P Rust, N"B" Campbell, (??)--
Aaron proves his athletic prowess by holding P on his shoulders; 
a potentially dangerous cockfight ensues (comedy sketch).

I still think about this sketch and giggle to myself. Good comedy 
always comes from people who don't realize they're funny. Aaron's 
character is such a good example of this. A guy whose so out of 
touch with the reality of his job and considers himself an 
"athlete." 
P.S. This sketch caused my pee-pee to be mashed.

12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle; B Tuttle (I presume)--B 
ruminates on the nature of the human condition and the sadness 
that comes with it (dramatic monologue).

I keep thinking of this as "Seinfeld Drama." You know how 
Seinfeld's "funny because it's true?" I guess this was "touching 
because it's true." At the risk of generalizing, I think 
everyone's felt those feelings and there's a certain comfort in 
having someone repeat them. So that was nice. I guess I would 
have liked a more "point a to point b" format to the sketch, so 
we could follow the character. There were points I felt he was 
rambling without direction.

13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
:Money," by Elena Murphy; (??)--(??) smokes a cigarette and warns 
the audience that the No Shame board and regulars are actually 
hostile toward them yet simultaneously dependent on them. 
(dramantic monolgue/poem).

I respected the boldness of this piece's writting and the bravery 
of the performer. Whether you agree with the content or not, it's 
still ballsy and at least you're watching something intriguing. 
Like Al, I hope they continue to write and perform.

14.  "The Run Around Town," by Neil "Balls" Campbell; N"B" 
Campbell, A Galbraith--N"B" energetically reminisces about 
abusive relatives and makeshift homes constructed of garbage and 
children (comedy sketch/monologue).

Neil has this great talent of using his likable stage presence to 
lead the audience into dark territory. Instead of just exploiting 
his charm for an entertaining sketch, he utilizes it to challenge 
the audience. This piece had a lot of that. Anybody's a wonderful 
performer if they can get an entire auidence to think killing 
children is amusing. If he could get even darker, I think that 
would be even more exciting as audience member.

15.  "Heaven's Percolator," by Chris Stangl;  C Stangl, C 
Okiishi, A Lawson--after discussing the sorrows in his life and 
discussing the nature of heaven, CS (with diabolical overtones) 
convinces CO to stab A.

I guess Chris is sort of Neil in reverse (or Neil is Chris in 
reverse). Whereas Neil has likable characters doing dark things, 
Chris has completely dislikable characters becoming somewhat 
approachable or identifiable. Like a lot of Todd Solondz's film 
characters, you find yourself caring for on-the-surface-
deplorable people. And I think that's prolly (I ain't got's no 
time to spell "probably") one of the strongest talents a 
writer/performer can have.

All in all, this was one of my favorite No Shame's of the year. 
More sketches instead of monologues was good. Seeing new people 
was great. Somewhat serious, somewhat comic. A lot of potential 
"Best of" pieces.  I felt good after this week's No Shame. 
Thanks, Leon! You did good at baseball. Grandma says hi.

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 04:23:30 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.15

If you're keeping score at home and even if you're not, this is 
my first post since 11:10 last night (sunday)

:0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin; J 
Erwin--J 
:
sings the national anthem Tom Waits-style (song).
:
I thought it was a cool way to start the evening.  I tried to be 
patriotic and sing along but it's hard to sing along to the real 
Tom Waits so no way I could conquer such a feat with an 
imitation. so I just stopped and laughed.  
:
0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl; C Stangl, A Lawson--C 
and A 
:
drink to the point of homoerotic pleasure--or nearly so 
(comedy 
:
sketch).
:
Okay, I'll admit it.  I like to see man-on-man action acted out 
before me on stage.  This idea, along with the idea of Chris 
and Arlen drinking will never get old to me.
:
1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris; B Harris--B does 
skill-based 
:
tricks with three boxes (skill performance).
:
I don't know what to say except, "Fucking awesome."
:
2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by A.J. 
:
Morgan; J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M 
Cassady--J looks 
:
angry about the injustice in his life while P and M heartily 
enjoy 
:
jokes from a book (comedy sketch).

I'm telling you, I think after last week, you will see Paul Rust 
in a SHITLOAD of sketches.  i'm thinking everybody, myself 
included (heaven help us), are going to start writing parts 
with Paul specifically in mind.  He was great.  As for the 
sketch, the rest of the casting was right on, and it struck a 
chord with me because I, as we have recently discovered, 
find much humor in the terminally stupid.  I am getting just a 
wee bit tired of the whole uncontrollable and inappropriate 
laughter thingy.
:

I'm hungry and I miss my mom so i won't post and finish my 
review until late Tuesday night just in case you're keeping 
score at home and even if you're not.

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 05:00:16 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.135

hey, look!  a review.  oh.

:0.25.  "James Pretends He's Tom Waits" by James Erwin; J Erwin--J 
:sings the national anthem Tom Waits-style (song).

yeah, i've seen James do this before too.  However, it may have 
been long enough ago that not a lot of people in the audience 
would have seen it.  James is always charming, but I would have 
liked to have seen him actually write something.  ya know.  maybe 
it was just a ploy to get into the show for free.

:0.5.  "The Cure-All" by Chris Stangl; C Stangl, A Lawson--C and A 
:drink to the point of homoerotic pleasure--or nearly so (comedy 
:sketch).

funny and destructive, like love.  it put on a literal level what 
we've probably all done on a metaphorical one--done whatever it 
takes to convince ourselves that it's ok to let that weird guy 
have anal sex with us.  that's the ticket.  but you know what i 
mean.

:1.  "Cigar Boxes," by Bradley Harris; B Harris--B does skill-
based 
:tricks with three boxes (skill performance).

brad is so dreamy.  he's done this stuff a million times, but 
because a) he only does it every couple of months or so, and b) 
he's dreamy and gregarious, i certainly don't mind.

:2.  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots," by A.J. 
:Morgan; J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M Cassady--J 
looks 
:angry about the injustice in his life while P and M heartily 
enjoy 
:jokes from a book (comedy sketch).

this was a great old-school jamal/hambo piece, but not so old-
school that there was poop in it.  it was exactly what a jamal/
hambo piece should be, i guess:  quick, broad, and brimming over 
with Jamal's special brand of wide-eyed exaggerations.  and the 
joke-laughing guys were having so much fun (apparently) that even 
the old, bad jokes got funny for me.  what more could i want?  

:3.  "Oysters on the Half Shell," by Al Angel; A Lawson, S 
:Franklin, J River, A Angel (??), M Hansen (??), (??)--young 
:friends choose pizza for a snack and turn out to be pop-culture 
:icons (comedy sketch).

good job letting this go exactly as long as it should have.  a 
one-gag bit needs to be swift, and this was just a tasty enough 
morsel to allow us to share a pop-culture laugh and be done with 
it.  other writers who do one-gag bits could learn a lesson from 
this.
:
:4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron; T Kovacs, 
:S Negron, A Clarke, (??)--haircuts are exchanged and shaving 
cream 
:is sprayed amid banter (comedy sketch).

see response to #3.  also, i agree with others who were pained at 
the offensive comedy without the self-consciousness required to 
make it into social criticism rather than just offensive comedy.  
i couldn't see most of it because i was offstage, but i guess it 
was a big mess that took a long time to clean up.  didn't seem 
worth it.
:
:5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott; JC Luxton--JC seeks 
:acceptance in the Civil-War-Reenacters' amputee club (comedic 
:monologue).

this guy was really committed to this piece.  between the rapid-
fire delivery and the brilliant use of naked legs as absent legs, 
i really fell for it.  i too was skeptical when the piece began, 
but it's vaguely reminiscent (though in only one sense) of the 
time Mose's dad did that piece about cockroaches.  I was charmed 
bit-by-bit as the piece went on, which is rare, since i usually 
hate things more and more as they progress.

:6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust; P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith--when 
:M and A foil P's sneaky plan to avoid their company, his reaction 
:becomes debilitating (comedy sketch).
:
i guess i completely missed the third aspect paul mentioned, the 
idea that people don't know how to deal with someone who 
communicates in an unusual or frightening way.  i still liked it, 
though.  i especially enjoyed the way Mike was chewing gum.  he 
was really paying attention on that one.

:7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild; D Fairchild--
:physically-enhanced rhyming poem (comedy poem).
:
i liked the physical aspect of this poem, because without it, i 
don't think it could have stood up.  i also liked the part where 
he broke into song mid-way through.  it was definitely superior to 
last week's experiment with the low-energy bomb guy.  i respect 
what dan was trying to do and everything, but i think this week's 
piece demonstrates the fact that a good, high-energy performance 
of mediocre material can work better at No Shame than a low-energy 
performance of technically better material.

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 05:00:56 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.135

:8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille Clarke; 
A 
:Clarke, M Hansen--M the acupuncturist visits A in the hospital 
and 
:slips into her IV (comedy sketch).

it's tacky to defend one's own piece.  it's also tacky of me to 
point that out.  but hey.
:
:9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler "Skylo" Corbett; T"S" Corbett--
T"S" 
:sings and plays the guitar to a song about the interminable 
nature 
:of Nebraska and things on the other side (song).
:
i've driven through nebraska.  it sucks but at least you can do 
85.  i couldn't hear this guy very well because i was up in the 
back waiting to take over the light booth.  so that's all i have 
to say about that.  it's nice to have a newcomer.  we love 
newcomers.

:10.  "Dickbreath --&-- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson; A Lawson--A 
gets 
:injured while trick-or-treating, meets the devil, and learns the 
:True Meaning of Halloween (comedic monologue).

this was good in the way that all Arlen's writing is good.  far be 
it from me to criticise someone for using a formula that 
works...so i won't.  strong images, playful manipulation of the 
audience's assumptions, nasty and sympathy-arousing at the same 
time.

:11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
:Galbraith; A Galbraith, C Okiishi, P Rust, N"B" Campbell, (??)--
:Aaron proves his athletic prowess by holding P on his shoulders; 
a 
:potentially dangerous cockfight ensues (comedy sketch).

sadly, i was in the light booth during this one, so i missed most 
of it.  the image of the two guys on the other guys' shoulders as 
the lights faded was classic, though.  it was like two sports 
mascots or something but more gay.
:
:12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle; B Tuttle (I presume)--B 
:ruminates on the nature of the human condition and the sadness 
:that comes with it (dramatic monologue).

i believe i went to the bathroom during this one.  from what i did 
see, i think i found it hard to focus on because it dealt so much 
in generalities.  it seemed to be saying the same thing over and 
over without giving me anything to hold onto--i didn't feel like i 
knew the character any more than i know anyone who's dealing with 
the realization that life is harsh, so i didn't have any sort of 
investment in it.  if the purpose was to create a character, it 
basically failed.  if the purpose was to trasmit a sincere 
emotion, it was more successful.  i personally would rather see 
characters created and then have them do the emotion-transmitting 
work, but i'm selfish.
:
:13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
:Money," by Elena Murphy; (??)--(??) smokes a cigarette and warns 
:the audience that the No Shame board and regulars are actually 
:hostile toward them yet simultaneously dependent on them. 
:(dramantic monolgue/poem).

first of all, a "clove" (as author refers to it) is a cigarette.  
it's short for a clove cigarette, and if you're going to 
abbreviate it, it's more accurate to call it a cigarette (tobacco 
and additives smoked in a paper casing) than a clove (a woody 
spice...mmm...Woody Spice).  anyway, i'm feeling a little snippy i 
guess because i couldn't help but feel that the piece was somehow 
a personal attack on me, since i'm often one of the people who 
offers the warm smiles as people enter the theater.  i resent 
someone who doesn't know me telling people what i truly think 
about them.  for what it's worth, i don't fake anything.  except, 
of course, emotions when i'm on stage and orgasms.  i am incapable 
of giving an unbiased review of this piece.

:14.  "The Run Around Town," by Neil "Balls" Campbell; N"B" 
:Campbell, A Galbraith--N"B" energetically reminisces about 
abusive 
:relatives and makeshift homes constructed of garbage and children 
:(comedy sketch/monologue).
:
this was an excellent example of how to use concrete details to 
make an otherwise emotionally unengaging story interesting.  
that's what good writing is, i guess--emotions are universal, so 
what i look for in writing is someone who can evoke those emotions 
(or not--i don't need depth all the time) in an interesting and 
innovative way.  this piece did that for me.  things like the 
shack with the ceiling made of children--priceless.   has anyone 
else noticed that our little neil is looking more and more manly 
these days?  anyway, even despite that, his child-characters 
remain believeable and touching (naughty and nice).

:15.  "Heaven's Percolator," by Chris Stangl;  C Stangl, C 
Okiishi, 
:A Lawson--after discussing the sorrows in his life and discussing 
:the nature of heaven, CS (with diabolical overtones) convinces CO 
:to stab A.
:
this was good in a "Hitchhiker" kinda way.  i was glad stangl 
didn't shove the devil imagery down our throats--the off-hand 
"fixin to be a hot one" (i think--pardon any innacuracy in my 
quote) was just enough for me.  the sleight of hand spoon/fork 
thing had Danger Brooks all over it, and arlen has certainly 
gotten good at playing a drunk, what with all the practice.  i 
also enjoyed seeing the other characters on the stage.  stangl can 
do a mean monologue, but the okiishi touch has never hurt anything 
(except possibly galbraith's warts), including this piece.

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 05:19:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

     As a matter of fact "I do think childish humor is funny!"  
I have been called an old man for a lot of my life, so the idea 
of kid like impresions of gay hair dressers is highly amusing.  
It is (In my opinion) just as important that I have fun on stage 
as it is for you to have fun watching me.  For the PC crowd, 
homo sexual comentary abounds in the No Shame skits anyway.  
Maybe mystereo tipical gay voice was just a little more 
convincing than you'd like to admit.  Keep your shafts down 
those gay people that read these postings.  I am not really gay. 
Samuel III out

PS
It so happened that Tom Kovacs really was bleeding, and didn't 
want me to hurt him more than I already did.  

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 05:52:41 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.63

Keep your shafts down 
:
those gay people that read these postings.  I am not really gay. 
:

Umm... I think not either Tommies or Samblo Neglo is my favorite 
No Shame anymore. Ssssssss!! You stink it up! 
I only like "I hate No Shame girl now." Because I hate No Shame 
now! You ruined it for ME, Dan Fairchild!
Oh! And I no write that Dan "review"! No no no! Who make that 
pretend reviewa wit my name?! I feel confused! My review goes: "I 
hate all but 'I hate No Shame' girl!" 

Love,
Danshnell Carbickle

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 05:59:31 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.63

P.S.I just found a bubbly-gum chew-ball in my rumper! Boy what a 
surprise! I'm chewing it right now and it's SO good! (Pop) I 
blew a bubbly rump bubble! ...Did I tell you I was chewing it 
with my rump?! 
That's the way cookie crumples! Wah wah wah!

Love,
Dans!

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 06:33:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23



:13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
:
:Money," by Elena Murphy; (??)--(??) smokes a cigarette and warns 
:
:the audience that the No Shame board and regulars are actually 
:
:hostile toward them yet simultaneously dependent on them. 
:
:(dramantic monolgue/poem).
:

:
first of all, a "clove" (as author refers to it) is a cigarette.  
:
it's short for a clove cigarette, and if you're going to 
:
abbreviate it, it's more accurate to call it a cigarette (tobacco 
:
and additives smoked in a paper casing) than a clove (a woody 
:
spice...mmm...Woody Spice).  anyway, i'm feeling a little snippy 
i 
:
guess because i couldn't help but feel that the piece was somehow 
:
a personal attack on me, since i'm often one of the people who 
:
offers the warm smiles as people enter the theater.  i resent 
:
someone who doesn't know me telling people what i truly think 
:
about them.  for what it's worth, i don't fake anything.  except, 
:
of course, emotions when i'm on stage and orgasms.  i am 
incapable 
:
of giving an unbiased review of this piece.
:

:
Wow...it's tacky to defend ones own piece, so I hear, but I've 
decided to be tacky.  When I said 'it was a clove dammit' that 
was supposed to be funny, I guess it wasn't (it was just on my 
mind because I got to smoke most of the rest of the pack and they 
were particularly yummy).  The clove was supposed to provide her 
with necessary pauses...I guess that didn't work but it's my 
first ever performed anything so what do I know.  Also the piece 
was a poem, and a poem that was written without any intention of 
being performed at No Shame until someone read it and suggested 
it. I had serveral experiences/perspectives in mind when I wrote 
it, being an usher for instance, which I am (...damn it's more 
likely that I was personally attacking myself). The underlying 
theme was pretentious artists of all kinds and (thanks for 
pointing it out Al) most often among poets themselves and the 
thought that it is born out of an insecurity and a knowledge that 
an artist is nothing without an audience.  The title and some 
adjustments where assigned when I knew where it was going.  (Now 
I do feel tacky)  However, my main objective in responding was 
that it was not a personal attack on anyone, unless, Aprille, you 
feel that way, unless you do wipe the smiles with the back of 
your hand, which you have already more or less said you do not.  
I don't know anything but good things about you and I have no 
motive to make a personal attack on you.  Overall I was really 
worried about doing this piece for exactly this reason but in the 
end I thought , well if it can't be done here, whats the point of 
No Shame?

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 14:30:27 GMT     IP: 209.64.154.61

Those interested in further background are hereby referred to the 
No Shame Board minutes at University of Iowa Special Collections, 
vol 13, no. 7, (March 22, 1999), starting at the first paragraph 
of page 19 under "Old Business". The Board at that time consisted 
of Dan Brooks, Chris Okiishi, Sara Greer, Kyle Lange, and yrs 
truly. Of course, at that time the bitterly-fought-for sunshine 
clause had not taken effect, so the transcripts refer to the 
secret names given to each of the four Board members at the 
spring solstice initiation (Akhneton [DB], Critias [KL], 
Maimonides [JE], Invictus [CO], and Abelard [SG]- ed.). 

At the time, the No Shame Board was in a period of recovery. At 
its peak numbering well over 200, the board had been decimated by 
a series of intrigues and betrayals which culminated in what the 
Press-Citizen later dubbed "the Night Exeunt", in which a string 
of unexplained apartment fires and several disappearances marked 
the final end of the strife. Victorious in this bitter struggle, 
the remaining Board members pushed through a hard-won series of 
reforms, including the addition of sunset clauses to all new 
bylaws, the annual audit of monies by Price-Waterhouse, and the 
renunciation of necromancy and divination in all their forms. 

Most of these reforms centered on the performers. For example, 
new performers are no longer required to serve as altar in a 
Black Mass, nor must they sign a blank confession when submitting 
their first piece. In addition, the "Tithe of Blood" ritual no 
longer opens each semester. However, respect and gratitude for 
the audience are now the central themes of the new oath of 
office. So you see, the No Shame board, performers, and audience 
have entered a new era of openness and mutual harmonious 
prosperity. I ask that all of us move beyond petty disputes and 
come together in the name of bipartisanship.

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 15:04:44 GMT     IP: 209.64.154.61

Hey, so some of you may remember my old piece "During the Course 
of this Piece God Will Kill Several Small Puppies", or "The 
Worst Christmas Ever". Like me, you may have watched the 
insidious Worst Ever meme work its way through that semester in 
pieces like "The Worst Fourth of July Ever" and the line "This 
is the worst Easter ever!" Anyhoo, this ended with a piece where 
I was crucified onstage while two men wrestled erotically 
beneath me. The punchline was, "This is the worst Rosh Hashanah 
ever!"

So.

I been reading Dork #8, by the vast and wonderful Evan Dorkin, 
who made up Milk and Cheese. One of the small strips is 
titled "The Worst Rashomon Ever". Rosh Hashanah. Rashomon. 

I can't help but wonder. 

James "Count Fistula" Erwin

Time: Tue, 06-Feb-2001 21:56:34 GMT     IP: 64.12.104.158


I have to say that I'm a little disappointed.  A better impostor 
would have mimicked my gramatically pretentious writing style 
more accurately.  In fact, this bit of mockery so fails to 
comprehend the extent of my true pretension that I'm almost 
insulted.  Some tips for any future endeavors in impersonation: I 
don't neuter my pronouns; I do use colons, semicolons, and em-
dashes to excess; my syntax is more frequently oblique.

The Tom Waits closure, I must admit, was a nice touch. 

Merideth

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 00:21:21 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.52

:
I have to say that I'm a little disappointed.  A better impostor 
:
would have mimicked my gramatically pretentious writing style 
:
more accurately.  In fact, this bit of mockery so fails to 
:
comprehend the extent of my true pretension that I'm almost 
:
insulted.  

Oh, c'mon: it wasn't THAT bad. I cut and pasted straight out of 
your old posts for a large portion of the text. If your own posts 
aren't pretentious enough for you, I can't be blamed for that. 
I'm sure you're right that some of the nuances were lost, but 
give me time, I'm still fairly new at this. 

-Fake Merideth

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 02:38:27 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.111

It's funny to see you stuck up No Shamers fighting among 
yourselves, what with the fake posts and and all that. I'm not 
the one doing it, but I wish I was: it's pretty fucking funny. 

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 03:34:39 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.158

There are now, by statistics, 18 million Mexicans and
Latin Americans in the United States. That is a terrible
guess, since the Iron Heel government, in Washington
D.C., has no real idea of how many there are. Consider
this: the United States border patrol says that they may
stop 10% each day. That, in itself, represents
thousands each day. Now simply multiply that amount
by ten.

Even beyond immigration, legal or illegal, the very
numbers of non-Whites already here, and their high
birth rate, are enough to plunge North America into a
banana republic status within two decades or less.

On the other hand, imagine a Separatist state or region
in the Southwest, that could see the impact each day of
thousands of immigrants, climbing on board each day,
with no hope of a federal solution. Of course they would
do what tribes have done since the dawn of time. They
would rally their forces and stop it with a force of arms. 

For example, if an area like Florida wanted to accept
the dregs of the Caribbean, let them, with the
understanding that the second this mud flood oozed
into the sovereign state of Georgia, it would be "lock
and load" time. Now, isn't that simple? It's freedom of
choice for all concerned. To the Floridians, they are free
to swamp their state and exhaust their natural
resources and infrastructure. The Caribbeans are free
to try the border of the sovereign state of Georgia.
However, the sovereign citizens of Georgia are free to
stop them, using any method necessary, and stop the
invasion of their sovereign state.

Those that await a Big Brother Washington D.C. or Los
Angeles Cesspool Grande solution, wait in vain, since
their solutions are either not forthcoming, or are much
worse than those that we propose.

Separatism is a state of mind, whose time has come.
The super state is the enemy of racial and cultural
self-determination. It is also the extreme enemy of
man's environment. That is enough reason for us.

As one strives to protect ones family, so it must be with
the cultural and racial extended family. The White
European race is a minority in most places on this
Earth; fifteen percent and falling. WAR is not speaking
of a minor problem, but the eventual extinction of
Nature's finest handiwork. Whenever you hear the word
minority it's not really the Black or Brown races, but the
White race which has always been the minority race
globally.

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 05:38:33 GMT     IP: 216.43.60.15

There was a day just a few years ago when I could come back an 
hour later and tell you exactly where that cut-and-paste came 
from. Damn the World Wide Web and its nooks and crannies. 

Hey, my website is the best geography site on the whole goddamn 
Web. About.com says so. 

I repeat- THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD-THE-FUCK-WIDE WEB. Me!

Your favorite mud-person tool of ZOG,

James "Half-Breed, Half-God" Erwin

oh- http://go.to/footnotestohistory.

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 06:32:28 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.85

And for those playing the home game, this is my 1st post since 
10:23 Monday night. 
To pick up where I left off:
:
4.  "Barbarus Inepticus," by Tom Kovacs and Sam Negron; T Kovacs, 
:
S Negron, A Clarke, (??)--haircuts are exchanged and shaving 
cream 
:
is sprayed amid banter (comedy sketch).
:
This had its moments, but I agree with those who said it could 
have used some serious trimming. I personally hadn't seen the 
previous haircutting sketch, so the sight of 2 men cutting each 
others' hair on stage was effective to me. Other than that, there 
wasn't a whole lot here I was too taken with.
:
5.  "Don't Tread on Me," by Edmund Scott; JC Luxton--JC seeks 
:
acceptance in the Civil-War-Reenacters' amputee club (comedic 
:
monologue).
:
Disturbing, funny, well performed. I hope this guy comes back, I 
would like to see more work from him. 
:
6.  "Stammer," by Paul Rust; P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith--when 
:
M and A foil P's sneaky plan to avoid their company, his reaction 
:
becomes debilitating (comedy sketch).
:

Well, I for one thought the 3 elements were all worked together 
just fine, and probably woudn't have stood on their own as well 
as they did together. Not my favorite Paul piece, but still good 
and entertaining. 
:
7. "A Rhyme for Orange," by Dan Fairchild; D Fairchild--
:
physically-enhanced rhyming poem (comedy poem).
:
OK, so, yes, I started out with the idea of trying to find a 
rhyme for orange, and then worked from there. But mostly I just 
wanted to try to do something new and interesting with the old 
format of a rhyming poem. And I think the movements and such did 
make it more interesting. So, whatever. I'm fine with how it went.
:
8.  "The Needle, the Fluid, the Way We Were," by Aprille Clarke; 
A 
:
Clarke, M Hansen--M the acupuncturist visits A in the hospital 
and 
:
slips into her IV (comedy sketch).
:
This had some great imagery. I couldn't hear some of Mark's 
lines, which was too bad (and I was sitting right up front, too). 
The piece was a bit long, but it kept my attention, so I can't 
really complain. Aprille has a very distinctive writing style, 
nobody else is doing stuff like her's.
:
9.  "The I-80 Blues," by Tyler "Skylo" Corbett; T"S" Corbett--
T"S" 
:
sings and plays the guitar to a song about the interminable 
nature 
:
of Nebraska and things on the other side (song).
:
I liked this song fine. I didn't have a problem with the lyrics, 
they seemed suited for the type of song he was playing. Maybe not 
my very favorite style of music, but he did it well and I enjoyed 
it.
:
10.  "Dickbreath --&-- the Devil," by Arlen Lawson; A Lawson--A 
gets 
:
injured while trick-or-treating, meets the devil, and learns the 
:
True Meaning of Halloween (comedic monologue).
:
This was short, funny, and well written. The devil only being 
able to say "vagina" while analy raping Arlen is a wonderful 
image. This had a similar feel as a lot of Arlen's other 
monologues, and yet was definitely and different from other stuff 
he's done. Strong work.
:
11.  "Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.," by Aaron 
:
Galbraith; A Galbraith, C Okiishi, P Rust, N"B" Campbell, (??)--
:
Aaron proves his athletic prowess by holding P on his shoulders; 
a 
:
potentially dangerous cockfight ensues (comedy sketch).
:
The guys on each others' shoulders was the funniest part of this 
to me. Some of the dialogue did seem a little predictable, but it 
was a fun piece. I laughed. What more do you want...
:
12.  "Dying for Life," by Brian Tuttle; B Tuttle (I presume)--B 
:
ruminates on the nature of the human condition and the sadness 
:
that comes with it (dramatic monologue).
:
OK, I just couldn't get into this. Yes, we've all had these 
feelings, yes it's reassuring that other people do to, but... so? 
What was the hook? What was there to keep you interested?
:
13.  "Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take Your 
:
Money," by Elena Murphy; (??)--(??) smokes a cigarette and warns 
:
the audience that the No Shame board and regulars are actually 
:
hostile toward them yet simultaneously dependent on them. 
:
(dramantic monolgue/poem).
:
Well, I do think it took courage to do this piece, but I don't 
see how one could do it without expecting that people would be 
put off. At least some people. To me, it didn't sound like a poem 
or a general sort of manifesto against pretensions, it sounded 
like an attack against No Shame (look at the title, for Christ's 
sake!). Still, I'm glad she did it. I'm glad she felt she WAS 
allowed to do a piece like this. I think that actually says good 
things about No Shame. 
:
14.  "The Run Around Town," by Neil "Balls" Campbell; N"B" 
:
Campbell, A Galbraith--N"B" energetically reminisces about 
abusive 
:
relatives and makeshift homes constructed of garbage and children 
:
(comedy sketch/monologue).
:
Yeah, there was some great imagery here. And yeah, we got some 
more of that trademark Neil Campbell spazz-out energy. So that's 
good. I think I was getting a little tired by this point, even 
though the show wasn't that long, so I probably didn't absorb 
this as well as I could have. But that's not a criticism of the 
piece. It was solid.
:
15.  "Heaven's Percolator," by Chris Stangl;  C Stangl, C 
Okiishi, 
:
A Lawson--after discussing the sorrows in his life and discussing 
:
the nature of heaven, CS (with diabolical overtones) convinces CO 
:
to stab A.
:
I started out not liking this too well, a little bored, but it 
won me over by the end. The image of Chris O. stabbing Arlen was 
surprisingly haunting. I agree that the last line could have been 
dropped. And maybe some of the dialogue could have been weeded 
(though, again, by this point I was tired), but I felt like this 
piece did a good job telling it's story. And it was neat to see 
Chris do something that was almost entirely serious. 

OK. There you go. And now, I am off to bed. Cheers.  

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 14:09:19 GMT     IP: 128.255.95.37

:For the PC crowd, 
:homo sexual comentary abounds in the No Shame skits anyway.  
:Maybe mystereo tipical gay voice was just a little more 
:convincing than you'd like to admit.  Keep your shafts down 
:those gay people that read these postings.  I am not really gay. 
:Samuel III out

Shyah!  Believe me, you weren't in danger of ever being mistaken 
for gay.  You're probably saying this tongue-in-cheek, but gimme a 
break...

-Adam

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 17:36:23 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.92

Negron says:
  
:Maybe my stereotipical gay voice was just a little more 
:convincing than you'd like to admit.  

Which might be a joke, but which sounds to me like a plea for some 
performance criticism, being that said sterotypical gay character 
rendering was downright pitiful.  It was flimsy and inconsistent 
in a manner suggestive of a lack of practice/lack of experience 
with material/ineptitude of performer rather than in the manner of 
a deconstructionist performance.  Just as convincing as an eleven 
year old child in summer camp playing the same stereotype would 
be, which is to say, not at all (if you;ve ever been to summer 
camp or seen the zany Disney series Bugjuice, you know precisely 
what I mean).

Negron continues:
:those gay people that read these postings.  I am not really gay. 

To which Adam I replies:
:...You're probably saying this tongue-in-cheek...

Oh, I wish I could believe he was, Adam, I really do...

Time: Wed, 07-Feb-2001 23:03:29 GMT     IP: 208.129.184.125
***********
I just wanted to post a message telling you guys that you rocked 
my world last no shame...and I'm not just talking about my 
sexual dream that I had that night.....I laughed so hard that I 
peed on the floor....and I laughed so long that by the time I 
was finished laughing the pee was either all dried up or some 
sort of pee loving dog creature came and drank it....That was 
how funny it was....and if it isen't too much work for you go to 
www.geocities.com/eatababy...and sign the guest book and say 
that Seth sent you...ON A WACKY ADVENTURE THAT 
IS......well...thats it

Time: Sat, 10-Feb-2001 08:43:20 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.105

Order, 2/9/01

0.5.  "The Breathalyzer Test," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A 
Lawson_C and A discuss   the results of C's arrest and 
breathalyzer test; included the phrase "police dick" (comedy 
sketch).

1. "Go Out Unto the World and Make Fishers out of Men," by Thomas 
Kovacs:  T Kovacs, P Rust, Willie's son (sorry, don't know his 
name), D Fairchild_T and P chat in the setting of a bathroom 
stall; the dirty thing T wants P to do ends up being Jehovah's 
Witness-related (comedy sketch).

2. "Out Cold," by Areli River:  A"J" River, P Rust, M Cassady, A 
Angel, A Galbraith, A Clarke, N"B" Campbell_A"J" has a trippy 
reaction to a visit to the dentist; there is much hitting (comedy 
sketch).

3. "Even the Internet Manifesto," by Elysia Hrbek (PRONOUNCE:  
Leesha Her-beck):  JC Luxton_JC discusses the way the Internet 
will affect every facet of our lives in the coming years (comedic/
prophetic monologue).

4. "The Dan Fairchild," by Alyssa Bowman:  D Fairchild_D does a 
variety of dance moves while reciting many words, some of which 
rhyme and have specific dance moves associated with them (comedic 
dance performance/monologue).

5. "My Lovelife at Age Four," by Nella Christo Arbock:  S 
Franklin_S discusses a long lost love from childhood and how that 
experience affected her eating and other aspects of her life 
(serio-comic monologue).

6. "I Wanna Rape Your Hand," by Paul Rust:  P Rust, A Galbraith, C 
Okiishi, P's friend Shelly (sorry, don't know last name or even if 
first name is spelled right)_P brags about his emotional and 
communicative exploits with his girlfriend to his friend; in the 
end, everyone agrees it's better to talk about violent sex acts 
(comedy sketch).

7. "Monkey Feces, Monkey Doo-Doo," by Arlen Lawson:  C Stangl, J 
River, A Lawson, A Galbraith_J and AG (and later, AL)  feel 
conflicting emotions about their desire to beat up and old lady 
and having acted on that desire; AL recounts a tale of a kite and 
the boy who died flying said kite (comedy sketch/monologue).

8. "I Love to Fuck My Wife," by Dan "The Plow" Fairchild:  D"TP" 
Fairchild, P Rust_D"TP" helps P get over his passive nature by 
encouraging him to take a more aggressive attitude in his sex life 
(comedy sketch).

9. "That Sad Story of That Lady I Know," by Aprille Clarke:  M 
Hansen, C Okiishi, A Clarke_A and M assume positions that reflect 
C's lines, which describe a woman who has a lot of issues (serio-
comedy sketch).

9.5. "Coastline," by Brian Tuttle:  B Tuttle_B sees the same 
person on the bus every day and has a conversation about what that 
might mean and what they might mean to each other (dramatic 
monologue).

10. "A Song," by Chris Okiishi:  C Okiishi_using a portable 
keyboard, C sings a song of loneliness (musical performance).

11. "The Horror," by Al Angel:  A Angel, C Stangl, A Galbraith_C 
and AG depict different stages of a man's relationship with his 
dysfunctional father (played by AA) (dramatic sketch).

12. "Britney Spears -&- No Shame Theater," by Erin King:  E King_E 
describes her occasionally uncomfortable position of mediocrity 
and how it has affected her life (serio-comic monologue).

13. "Song to All the Girls We Can't Write Songs to," by Luke `n' 
Mike:  L ??, Mike Brooks_M plays guitar and L sings (musical 
performance).

14.   "The Goblin in Me," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:  A Galbraith, 
E King_A Valley-type girl is driven to perform uncharacteristic 
acts by the goblin in her belly, who enjoys being rubbed (comedy 
sketch).

15. "Frankie -&- Johnny," Traditional, arranged by Chris Stangl:  C 
Stangl_while swigging several bottles of quaint sodapop, C 
delivers rhymed and metered variations on the classic "Frankie -&- 
Johnny" (poetry performance)

Time: Sat, 10-Feb-2001 22:54:25 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.31

nick clark says to you:

0.5.  "The Breathalyzer Test," by Chris Stangl:.
Kind of funny, mostly a lot the same as the rest of the drinking 
shorts.  I
didn't think I'd tire of them, but maybe I'm beginning to.  The 
drawback of
this particular one was that it drew more attention to sucking 
off a cop than
it did to the pathos of alcoholism.  Thus it became more of a 
cheap joke than a
cautionary tale.
1. "Go Out Unto the World and Make Fishers out of Men," by Thomas 
Kovacs:.
THere were some funny moments here, especially the repeated use 
of the word
'dude' but Kovacs' writing began to get long winded and 
non-conversational
toward the end.
2. "Out Cold," by Areli River:
This was pretty fun as a AJM River piece always is - the real 
funny part is
that there isn't a joke there at any point, or if there is, 
(physical punchy
humor) it is played in such a way that the real laugh is not at 
the joke but
instead at the fact that the joke is completely out of context.
3. "Even the Internet Manifesto," by Elysia Hrbek
Reminiscent of the awful "Why not 2K" from a couple years ago.  
This was better
than that one in that it was better composed and delivered, but 
it still lacked
the substance it would have needed to hold my attention.
4. "The Dan Fairchild," by Alyssa Bowman:
I wished that Dan himself would write pieces like this one.  He 
addressed the
physical element so deftly and humorously that I had to wonder 
why he doesn't
make use of such an obvious gift in his own work.  Also, the 
innocence of
Alyssa's rhyme was a nice thing to see embodied by a man whom I 
associate with
a lot of dirty sex jokes.
5. "My Lovelife at Age Four," by Nella Christo Arbock:
This piece seemed interesting.  I wanted to hear more of the 
story; it kinda
seemed like it could have gotten more textured (a-la Barbour) but 
the writing
seemed a little overwrought, and maybe not conversational enough 
for the stage.
Sheila was good, but too quiet.
6. "I Wanna Rape Your Hand," by Paul Rust:
I like Paul a lot as an actor.  I liked this piece a lot because 
it let you
think.  Id didn't make you think, but it gave you material which, 
if you felt
like it, you could spend some time pondering.  Or if you wanted 
you could just
laugh at how funny it was and go home.
7. "Monkey Feces, Monkey Doo-Doo," by Arlen Lawson:
There was good stuff here.  There were a lot of nice jokes in the 
beginning,
I'm not sure I understood the value of all the kite stuff in 
context, however.
8. "I Love to Fuck My Wife," by Dan "The Plow" Fairchild:
Dan sure does think about sex a lot.  I think back on Paul Rust's 
assessment of
Pookman's drinking bit.  Though it's difficult to tell where 
Fairchild's own
opinions on sexual politics lie, I get the feeling that I would 
get more out of
his pieces if my own opinions were more similar to his.  I do 
feel a little bit
excluded by Fairchild's pieces, and I think that maybe their 
aggressiveness is
kind of the point, but it's not I point that I feel like I'm 'in 
on'.
9. "That Sad Story of That Lady I Know," by Aprille Clarke:
Like most of Aprille's pieces this was depressing and disturbing 
and sexual and
good.  The tableau thing didn't quite go as well as it could 
have.  I was glad
that someone non-threatening like Mark Hansen was in Mark 
Hansen's role.  I am
interested in seeing theatre which approaches itself in this 
narrator separated
from silent action sort of way.
9.5. "Coastline," by Brian Tuttle:
Interesting.  The kind of thing that really does run through the 
juvenile mind
on occasion.  I felt like the most important thing about this 
piece was that it
was a monologue in the second person told by a person who didn't 
know anything
about the person he was talking about.  There's a really grim 
sort of pathos in
this peice, but you didn't hear it in the words themselves.
10. "A Song," by Chris Okiishi:
This song was fantastic.  I think it makes Balls and Stubble the 
only NS
regulars I've seen go more than 2 1/2 years without doing a song 
as a piece.
The lyrics were beautiful and so is Chris' singing voice.  That's 
all I have to
say.
11. "The Horror," by Al Angel:
Al's serious pieces at times seem to take themselves a little too 
seriously.
This was one of those that just wound down until by the end there 
was nothing
but the absolute worst collection of horrible circumstances that 
could maintain
the piece's level of believability.  It made for a really 
engagingly repulsive
whole.
12. "Britney Spears -&- No Shame Theater," by Erin King:
  Usually a "It's my first time here at No Shame, and this is who 
I am." type
of piece bores an audience quickly, but Erin's delivery was great 
and her
writing was approachable and well paced.  I hope she comes back 
again.
13. "Song to All the Girls We CanUt Write Songs to," by Luke TnU 
Mike:
A reAlly pretty song, probably.  I couldn't really hear the 
singing at all.  If
you want to sing quietly, at least face more up toward the 
audience and less
down toward the floor.
14.   "The Goblin in Me," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:
There was a lot of really great acting in this.  Aaron's 
contortions were
supernaturally delicious, and Erin's frustrated val-speak was 
priceless.  The
writing, while filled with jokes wound down with increasingly 
more bitter
humor, which made the piece shine like a jewel of anguish by its 
conclusion.
15. "Frankie -&- Johnny," Traditional, arranged by Chris Stangl:
I love this song, so hearing Chris' multiple takes on it was 
really
interesting.  It's a compelling story, and seeing it transposed 
to everything
from a restaurant to a parking garage was intriguing.  I didn't 
get anything
out of the lamp and sodas besides the impression that Chris needs 
objects on
stage with him during his monologues.
"shine like a jewel of anguish"
                           -nick

Time: Sun, 11-Feb-2001 00:33:51 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.1

Dear Diary,
   Paul's piece ended and then mine began.  This does not shock 
you?  Well, perhaps I neglected to mention the circumstance of 
Paul's piece ending with a rape joke and mine beginning with one.
   Then another joke in my piece about a child assuming that he 
was going to be forced to perform oral sex.
   And then, immediately following mine, Dan Fairchild did a 
piece endorsing marital rape, or at least an ideology that would 
tend to increase the likelihood of marital rape.
   And immediately following that came Aprille's piece, at the 
center of which was a multiple rape victim and the amusing 
results of her psychological trauma.
   Also, this block of sketches capitalizing on the inherent 
hilarity of rape and being raped came dead center in our night of 
fun, our night of fun (Or as dead center as you can get with an 
even block and an odd number of pieces.)
   I have no point to make with any of this.  I bet that man from 
the Press Citizen (Or as it read on the posters around town a 
year or two ago, the Press Shitizen.  Am I right, people?) 
doesn't come to every No Shame, though.  
   Completely unrelated subject:  The impersonations went on for 
three days, and some of them were brilliant.  (I was and am proud 
of you, fake Tom, Paul, Meredith(sic), Dan Fairchild.)  After 
two years of faithfully holding my attention, at least, is that 
really enough to get this board room relegated to the bottom of 
the page, where it is missed and assumed destroyed by most, 
including Dan Fairchild?
    I think not.  And therefore am not.

            -Arlen

Time: Sun, 11-Feb-2001 02:06:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.20

:Order, 2/9/01
:

:
0.5.  "The Breathalyzer Test," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A 
:
Lawson_C and A discuss   the results of C's arrest and 
:
breathalyzer test; included the phrase "police dick" (comedy 
:
sketch).
:
Takes the lead as my favorite drunkard skunkard sketch to 
date.  Yes, Drunkard skunkard sketch is the technical term I 
am giving to the Stangl/Lawson drinking sketches because I 
don't like typing "Stangl/Lawson drinking sketch" all the damn 
time.  These two characters, I have noticed, get more and 
more morally deficient with each passing week.  For that 
reason, next weeks drunkard skunkard sketch will probably 
take the lead as my favorite.  It will be interesting to see if 
there is a bottom to this hole.
:
1. "Go Out Unto the World and Make Fishers out of Men," by 
Thomas 
:
Kovacs:  T Kovacs, P Rust, Willie's son (sorry, don't know his 
:
name), D Fairchild_T and P chat in the setting of a bathroom 
:
stall; the dirty thing T wants P to do ends up being Jehovah's 
:
Witness-related (comedy sketch).
:
I don't think I deserve a performance credit for this one, but 
anywho.  Even though I was present on stage for this one, I 
was absent mentally.   It was well written from the parts I did 
pay attention to.  What I'm trying to figure out is if Tom 
intended Paul's character to be delivered the way he did, or if 
it was supposed to be read completely straight with all the 
humor going into how fucked up Tom's character was.  

2. "Out Cold," by Areli River:  A"J" River, P Rust, M Cassady, A 
:
Angel, A Galbraith, A Clarke, N"B" Campbell_A"J" has a 
trippy 
:
reaction to a visit to the dentist; there is much hitting (comedy 
:
sketch).
:
This reminded me of the Vic Morrow (RIP) segment of 
Twilight Zone: The Movie.  Very clean changes in setting, fun 
to watch, knew when enough was enough.  Kosher.
:
3. "Even the Internet Manifesto," by Elysia Hrbek 
(PRONOUNCE:  
:
Leesha Her-beck):  JC Luxton_JC discusses the way the 
Internet 
:
will affect every facet of our lives in the coming years 
(comedic/
:
prophetic monologue).
:
Very monotonous and therefore didn't keep my attention and 
bored me.  Given the subject of the piece it was probably 
supposed to be so.  Maybe would have been better delivered 
as a fanatic iconoclast character so it comes off as his/her 
dream of the future, not fact.
:
4. "The Dan Fairchild," by Alyssa Bowman:  D Fairchild_D 
does a 
:
variety of dance moves while reciting many words, some of 
which 
:
rhyme and have specific dance moves associated with them 
(comedic 
:
dance performance/monologue).
:
I first thought I was being made fun of.  I would have done it 
even if it was a peck at me.  Wildly fun.  Made me want to get 
back to doing characters that aren't so constrained within the 
bounds of reality.
:
5. "My Lovelife at Age Four," by Nella Christo Arbock:  S 
:
Franklin_S discusses a long lost love from childhood and 
how that 
:
experience affected her eating and other aspects of her life 
:
(serio-comic monologue).
:
From now on i am not even going to TRY to review pieces 
after i perform for I don't get everything out of them and they're 
usually serious or serio-comic which doesn't quite grab me 
in that situation.  Sorry.
:
6. "I Wanna Rape Your Hand," by Paul Rust:  P Rust, A 
Galbraith, C 
:
Okiishi, P's friend Shelly (sorry, don't know last name or even 
if 
:
first name is spelled right)_P brags about his emotional 
and 
:
communicative exploits with his girlfriend to his friend; in the 
:
end, everyone agrees it's better to talk about violent sex acts 
:
(comedy sketch).

Michele Thompson is her name.  You better learn it, too, 
because she is the future.  Paul succeeded, as usual, where 
I failed.  He is able to convey that the views expressed in his 
sketches are not necessarily those of Paul Rust, it's 
management or staff, but a...oh shit, what's that word.  Shit, 
you know what I mean.

I'll finish later.  It's Friday night for fuck's sake.

Time: Mon, 12-Feb-2001 22:35:49 GMT     IP: 152.163.201.48

Ah yes, the Press Shitizen stickers. Brings back memories. Not 
good ones, but there they are. The PC was pretty Shitty, as I 
recall. Not as Shitty as the Icon, or the Iowa City Gazette (A 
city with 50,000 people has 3 Daily Newspapers?). But it was 
Shitty.

Happy Valentines Day
(Sound of bottle opening)

michael

Time: Wed, 14-Feb-2001 03:00:14 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.178


0.5.  "The Breathalyzer Test," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A 
Lawson_C and A discuss   the results of C's arrest and 
breathalyzer test; included the phrase "police dick" (comedy 
sketch).
It was cool that this "drinky drink" (patent pending) sketch 
finally addressed the idea of formal (rather than mental/social) 
punishment for drinking. And finally has given long overdue 
recognition to the phrase "police dick."

1. "Go Out Unto the World and Make Fishers out of Men," by 
Thomas Kovacs:  T Kovacs, P Rust, Willie's son (sorry, don't 
know his name), D Fairchild_T and P chat in the setting of a 
bathroom stall; the dirty thing T wants P to do ends up being 
Jehovah's Witness-related (comedy sketch).
I liked the fact that this sketch didn't feature any of the 
speaking performers' faces. That's always a nice way to 
interest/intrigue an audience. My only wish is that the last 
line (which revealed the person was a Jehovah's Witness) was 
accompanied with "wah nah nah dah dah" music.

2. "Out Cold," by Areli River:  A"J" River, P Rust, M Cassady, A 
Angel, A Galbraith, A Clarke, N"B" Campbell_A"J" has a trippy 
reaction to a visit to the dentist; there is much hitting 
(comedy sketch).
This would be really cool as a short film. The visual of 
somebody being repeatedly hit in the face by various people is 
such an excellent spin on "the world's down on me" theme. I 
agree with Dan's review that this recalled the Vic Morrow 
segment in "Twilight Zone." Thankfully, however, Jamal and two 
vietnamese children didn't get decapitated during this sketch.

3. "Even the Internet Manifesto," by Elysia Hrbek (PRONOUNCE:  
Leesha Her-beck):  JC Luxton_JC discusses the way the Internet 
will affect every facet of our lives in the coming years 
(comedic/prophetic monologue).
It was nice hearing this monologue since I had been listening 
and/or thinking about Radiohead all week. Sort of an "OK 
Computer: The Monologue," I suppose. Elysia did a nice job of 
utilizing "reading off a script" as a character quirk instead of 
a problem or distraction. 

4. "The Dan Fairchild," by Alyssa Bowman:  D Fairchild_D does a 
variety of dance moves while reciting many words, some of which 
rhyme and have specific dance moves associated with them 
(comedic dance performance/monologue).
I think this achieved what Dan was going for in his piece last 
week - this sort of playful, silly poetry reading. Perhaps Dan's 
naturally perverse side (not an insult) tainted last week's and 
Alyssa's kookiness aided this week's. Whatever it was, it worked 
really well.

5. "My Lovelife at Age Four," by Nella Christo Arbock:  S 
Franklin_S discusses a long lost love from childhood and how 
that experience affected her eating and other aspects of her 
life (serio-comic monologue).
Beautiful connection between children's concept of love and 
what's considered a "mature" concept of love. I also liked 
Franklin's "detached, so I don't get too emotional" delivery. It 
would have been nice though if she was a little louder. I can't 
hear with my ears because my ears are bad and they don't let me 
hear things that aren't very loud because my ears are bad.

toodles, children. finish later.

Time: Wed, 14-Feb-2001 04:16:07 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

:1. "Go Out Unto the World and Make Fishers out of Men," by 
:Thomas Kovacs:  T Kovacs, P Rust, Willie's son (sorry, don't 
:know his name), D Fairchild_T and P chat in the setting of a 
:bathroom stall; the dirty thing T wants P to do ends up being 
:Jehovah's Witness-related (comedy sketch).
:I liked the fact that this sketch didn't feature any of the 
:speaking performers' faces.

I like the fact that even though we didn't see the speaking 
performers' faces, Tom was emoting under the sheet with his hands. 
 That was funny.

:2. "Out Cold," by Areli River:  A"J" River, P Rust, M Cassady, A 
:Angel, A Galbraith, A Clarke, N"B" Campbell_A"J" has a trippy 
:reaction to a visit to the dentist; there is much hitting 
:(comedy sketch).

I very much enjoyed the theatricality of this piece in that it was 
weird in just the right way to make me feel like I was 
participating in the punch-drunk addled state of Jamal's 
character.  At least, I remember thinking that at the time, though 
specifics are hard to come by at this point in the week.

Time: Wed, 14-Feb-2001 06:54:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.234

6. "I Wanna Rape Your Hand," by Paul Rust:  P Rust, A Galbraith, 
C Okiishi, P's friend Shelly (sorry, don't know last name or 
even if first name is spelled right)_P brags about his emotional 
and communicative exploits with his girlfriend to his friend; in 
the end, everyone agrees it's better to talk about violent sex 
acts (comedy sketch).
I wrote this. It came from a time in high school when I thought 
I maybe mispercieved the jockish upperclassmen. Perhaps they 
truly were sensitive, young men. I remembered this earlier in 
the week and thought I'd make it a No Shame piece. Yep. 

7. "Monkey Feces, Monkey Doo-Doo," by Arlen Lawson:  C Stangl, J 
River, A Lawson, A Galbraith_J and AG (and later, AL)  feel 
conflicting emotions about their desire to beat up and old lady 
and having acted on that desire; AL recounts a tale of a kite 
and the boy who died flying said kite (comedy sketch/monologue).

Like Nick said, I, too, was wondering what the connection was 
between the first part and the second part. Maybe Arlen sensed  
the difference and that's why he split it into separate acts. 
Maybe if "the dead kite boy" (patent pending) had lived, he 
would have been one of the guys beating up the old lady. Maybe 
I'm a silly-dilly. 

8. "I Love to Fuck My Wife," by Dan "The Plow" Fairchild:  D"TP" 
Fairchild, P Rust_D"TP" helps P get over his passive nature by 
encouraging him to take a more aggressive attitude in his sex 
life (comedy sketch).
Since I was a part of this, I'll just talk about the writing, so 
I can be unbiased or whatever. In terms of writing, it was Dan's 
best piece yet (although it was a little too long). He took two 
poles of male sexual values, had them meet at the most male of 
places (the strip club), and had them face-off about how 
relationships (not necessarily sexual) should be. In my mind, my 
character was an example of good relationship values held by men 
(i.e. respect, understanding) and his character was an example 
of the wrong values held by men (i.e. oppression, chauvinism - 
sp?). By having the bad beat out the good, Dan was satirizing 
how many men change their values in hopes of winning over each 
other. I could be wrong though. Dan could just be a pig.

9. "That Sad Story of That Lady I Know," by Aprille Clarke:  M 
Hansen, C Okiishi, A Clarke_A and M assume positions that 
reflect C's lines, which describe a woman who has a lot of 
issues (serio-comedy sketch).
Do you remember that "State" sketch where they had their 
reoccuring characters (Doug, Barry -&- Levon) placed in Kabuki 
theatre? This sort of reminded me of that. Aprille took a 
character she often portrays (sexually-mistreated woman) and 
presented it differently. I guess somebody could argue this was 
just "same drink, new glass," but I thought it worked. 

9.5. "Coastline," by Brian Tuttle:  B Tuttle_B sees the same 
person on the bus every day and has a conversation about what 
that might mean and what they might mean to each other (dramatic 
monologue).
This was really intriguing to watch since the audience knew he 
was saying this all to a girl who hardly knew him. That's why I 
was a little disappointed when Brian started to drift. Since the 
beginning had such an urgency, I wanted it to stay the whole way 
through. I know I shouldn't judge a piece for not going where I 
want it to go. It's just that a little focus would have been 
nice.

10. "A Song," by Chris Okiishi:  C Okiishi_using a portable 
keyboard, C sings a song of loneliness (musical performance).
Wonderful, wonderful song. I liked the fact that Chris talked 
about things such as "masturbation" (patent pending) so openly 
without hokey, over-done symbolism. This is a cliche about 
singer-songwriter songs, but it made the lyrics feel like 
conversation instead of strict songwriting.

11. "The Horror," by Al Angel:  A Angel, C Stangl, A Galbraith_C 
and AG depict different stages of a man's relationship with his 
dysfunctional father (played by AA) (dramatic sketch).
Great concept. Great way of delivering the story. Great acting. 
This piece really touched me. The only thing I didn't like is 
the father's death at the end. That felt contrived. I think it 
would have been better to have the characters live on without 
such an easy way out for the father.

12. "Britney Spears --&-- No Shame Theater," by Erin King:  E King_
E describes her occasionally uncomfortable position of 
mediocrity and how it has affected her life (serio-comic 
monologue).
It's refreshing to hear somebody who has such an understanding 
of who they are and where there at even if it isn't exactly the 
way they want it. I look forward to Erin maybe applying this 
knowledge of ppl. to fictional characters in future pieces.

13. "Song to All the Girls We Can't Write Songs to," by Luke `n' 
Mike:  L ??, Mike Brooks_M plays guitar and L sings (musical 
performance).
I liked the guitar part. It would have been nicer if Luke sang 
louder. That way, I could critique the words. Hopefully, they 
play more. Even though it's not my cup of tea as far as style 
goes, it's always nice to have music at the No Shame.

14.   "The Goblin in Me," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:  A 
Galbraith, E King_A Valley-type girl is driven to perform 
uncharacteristic acts by the goblin in her belly, who enjoys 
being rubbed (comedy sketch).
It's unfortunate Erin had to play this character.  After four 
years of seeing Group Improv at Iowa Speech competitions, I've 
grown tired of seeing girls playing "the ditzy girl." I know 
it's not her fault since it's a character she's playing, not 
creating. That's why it would have been interesting to see a 
male's (Neil's) take on it. Great job though considering she was 
a new no shame person with this sketch handed to her just before 
the show.

15. "Frankie --&-- Johnny," Traditional, arranged by Chris 
Stangl:  C Stangl_while swigging several bottles of quaint 
sodapop, C delivers rhymed and metered variations on the 
classic "Frankie --&-- Johnny" (poetry performance)
I'm an idiot. When I heard this title, I thought of the 1991 Al 
Pacino-Michelle Phieffer movie. Yeah, I'm stupid. In this 
Valentine's season, it was nice having a poem about the evil 
cycle of love. I thought Chris was drinking cough syrup. He 
wasn't though.

And neither am I.

Time: Wed, 14-Feb-2001 20:37:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.19

No, I don't feel the need to defend my pieces but I do feel the 
need to address the question of whether or not I am a pig or 
a big ol' perve.  I'm not mad at anybody who has referred to 
me as such.  So if you have, do not apologize.  I can see 
where you would think that.

I think the reason why I use sex in my pieces so much is 
because I think it's funny.  When you strip off all the varnish, 
sex is hilarious.  If you take away all the passion and the 
hormones and the ill consequences often resulting from it, 
all you're left with is a penis going in and out of a vagina.  
Two not-so-pretty organs.  Disgusting bodily fluids.  People 
get pleasure out of it.  It's hilarious.  Unfortunately it's hard to 
convey this humor on stage when so many people, myself 
often included, can't always strip away all these things.  
They shouldn't anyway.  So that's what's up with all the dirty 
jokes.

Whether or not I am a pig.  Twice I have portrayed (poorly) 
characters that could be construed as sexist.  This was not 
my intent.  My strip club heckler character wasn't saying, "go 
home and rape your wife."  He was saying, "If your wife 
masturbated right in front of you and payed you no mind  
and talks dirty during sex then she probably wants you to be 
more assertive, go home and give her what she wants."  
And if you think about it, he's probably right.  And even if he's 
not, he doesn't just have the male libido in mind, he's trying 
to give Larry's wife what she wants, too, so his motives can 
hardly be construed as sexist.  This probably would have 
been better conveyed if I performed it well at all, which I 
didn't.  Dan learns the importance of rehearsal, even at No 
Shame.  By the way, I read through it at with my room mate 
and it did come in under five minutes.  Dan learns that just 
reading through it doesn't give an accurate idea of how long 
it is.

Yes, there was the bi-polarity of attitudes towards sex, but I 
was also trying to address whether or not such things as 
romance novels, which contain sex scenes that blow away 
any that you can find in Penthouse Letters, can be 
considered pornography as strip clubs obviously are.  The 
borderline between porn and art.  Not that I consider 
romance novels art.  Craft, maybe.  I have never been to a 
strip club but BOTH my parents read shirt-ripper novels and 
throughout puberty I perused their stash.

Come to think of it, this is the only piece of mine that was 
actually about sex.

As for the second sexist character from last semester, the 
guy walking down the street towards this womyn and 
contemplates kissing her.  He doesn't see this womyn as 
just an object, he speculates on how she must feel inside 
and who she is as a person.  He doesn't think of himself as 
better than her because he's a man.  In fact he sees himself 
as way below her.

I just realized that I AM defending my pieces.  But it's hard 
not to when these are what has led to the allegations of 
perversion.  So anyway.

He does, I'll admit, say in so may words, "Boy, I would love 
to fuck her."  This is initial attraction.  It happens to every guy 
(I'll not speak for the ladies).  You see a womyn who catches 
your eye and you probably want to have sex with her.  In fact, 
I am tempted to take the "probably" out of the previous 
sentence.  That's the way it works.  Does that mean that 
you're going to try it?  No.  Does that mean you wouldn't be 
interested in who they are as a person?  No.  He IS 
interested in who she is as a person and feels there is no 
way he could have a relationship or even sex with her.  The 
pain of rejection without even being rejected.  The sense of 
being out of your league.   The need to prove that such 
boundaries can be torn down if only for a second.  The 
presence of passion and wanting to express it and spread 
it.  And ultimately the possibility of passion giving way to 
timidness.  All these things but NOT, "Hey, look, there's 
some fine looking pussy."

I don't think I think about sex a lot.  I think I put it to paper and 
stage a lot which is a criticism I gladly accept.  But I still think 
it's funny.

I don't want to be viewed as a pig.  Especially when such 
conclusions are drawn from places where such messages 
were not trying to be conveyed.

Besides, chicks are more likely to have sex with ya' if they 
think you're all sensitive and shit.  Yes, I'm kidding.

Whew, long winded.

wuv,

dan

Time: Wed, 14-Feb-2001 21:20:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.19

7. "Monkey Feces, Monkey Doo-Doo," by Arlen Lawson:  C 
Stangl, J 
River, A Lawson, A Galbraith_J and AG (and later, AL)  feel 
conflicting emotions about their desire to beat up and old 
lady 
and having acted on that desire; AL recounts a tale of a kite 
and 
the boy who died flying said kite (comedy 
sketch/monologue).

Though this one had a bit of a twist with the skit, which I 
don't feel worked that well, Arlen is returning to his 
traditional style of storytelling.  I'm not saying that is a bad 
thing.  Before I looked forward to performing I looked forward 
to seeing Arlen.  I still do.  But I get the impression Arlen has 
given up hope of experimenting with emotion as seen in his 
mermaid monologue and the Flapper and the Clown serial.  
Maybe I'm just cracked and he wasn't even experimenting.

8. "I Love to Fuck My Wife," by Dan "The Plow" Fairchild: 
 D"TP" 
Fairchild, P Rust_D"TP" helps P get over his passive 
nature by 
encouraging him to take a more aggressive attitude in his 
sex life 
(comedy sketch).

Needed rehearsal.  See previous post.

9. "That Sad Story of That Lady I Know," by Aprille Clarke:  M 
Hansen, C Okiishi, A Clarke_A and M assume positions 
that reflect 
C's lines, which describe a woman who has a lot of issues 
(serio-
comedy sketch).

I thought the idea of a live action slide show was hilarious 
and fabulous.  It reminded me of those cheesy science 
films from grade school with the cassette tapes and 
everybody getting excited at the prospect of being chosen to 
push the button on the projector when it went "Beep!"

9.5. "Coastline," by Brian Tuttle:  B Tuttle_B sees the same 
person on the bus every day and has a conversation about 
what that 
might mean and what they might mean to each other 
(dramatic 
monologue).

I don't know, it seemed like the same character from the 
previous week and performed exactly the same way except 
no crying.  And I don't think it was supposed to be.  I liked the 
writing but it, too, was exactly the same as last week.  I 
wasn't necessarily bored because I really like the writing but 
if he keeps it up, I will be.

10. "A Song," by Chris Okiishi:  C Okiishi_using a portable 
keyboard, C sings a song of loneliness (musical 
performance).

Seemed like a basic progression (I haven't had a Music 
Theory class in four years and my ear never got fully 
developed so I could be wrong) but he took what he had and 
made a song that was enjoyable to listen to.  Rock would 
have died long before it did if not for people doing just that.  
Lyrics were fantastic.  I thought the one semi-obscene line 
was used brilliantly as a garnish on a fairly serious dish.  
What the fuck did I just type?

11. "The Horror," by Al Angel:  A Angel, C Stangl, A 
Galbraith_C 
and AG depict different stages of a man's relationship with 
his 
dysfunctional father (played by AA) (dramatic sketch).

My favorite Al Angel sketch because my dull intellect actually 
could grasp with more than a vague impression what Al's 
role in the sketch was.  This could often be his intent (the 
vague impression thing) but often times you forget about Al 
and pay attention only to the people at his flanks and 
therefore you feel you missed something.  This time I payed 
attention only to Al and let the others serve as only a 
soundtrack.  It worked on me this time.

12. "Britney Spears --&-- No Shame Theater," by Erin King:  E 
King_E 
describes her occasionally uncomfortable position of 
mediocrity 
and how it has affected her life (serio-comic monologue).

Boy, she received, quite possibly, the warmest No Shame 
reception I have ever seen.  But then I ain't seen much.  I, 
too, look forward to seeing her do some fictional stuff as I 
think she is a great performer.  I wish I could remember her 
monologue better except that I really dug the honesty and 
the guts with which it was delivered.

13. "Song to All the Girls We Can't Write Songs to," by Luke 
`n' 
Mike:  L ??, Mike Brooks_M plays guitar and L sings 
(musical 
performance).

I think I would have loved this song if i could have heard 
Luke sing.  I don't have to understand what you're singing 
but I want to at least hear you singing.  I was in the front row 
and I could hardly hear anything.  Judging from the title it 
probably would have hit home for me.

14.   "The Goblin in Me," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:  A 
Galbraith, 
E King_A Valley-type girl is driven to perform 
uncharacteristic 
acts by the goblin in her belly, who enjoys being rubbed 
(comedy 
sketch).

I once held the opinion that Balls pieces could only be 
performed by Balls.  That one got blasted all to shit with this 
piece.  A lot of people would have hogged all the glory by 
performing their own piece at such a time when they could 
do it or at least have it performed at such a time when they 
could see it but Balls gained some respect from me by 
saying, "Screw it, here girl I have never before met and 
therefore have no idea of how you will perform, please 
perform my piece."  As for the writing and performing.  If 
that's the way Erin really dances, AWESOME, if not, 
AWESOME.  She handled Balls' quirks like it ain't nobody's 
business and I laughed.  Ball's picked a needle out of a 
haystack.  Aaron (wow!  Two Aaron's/Erin's in one skit!) was 
the perfect choice as a goblin.  In fact, the choice of a goblin 
was great, too.

15. "Frankie --&-- Johnny," Traditional, arranged by Chris 
Stangl:  C 
Stangl_while swigging several bottles of quaint sodapop, 
C 
delivers rhymed and metered variations on the classic 
"Frankie --&-- 
Johnny" (poetry performance)

Nope, I don't get the Jones soda, either, but the writing in 
this was great because of all the variations.  Actually I'm 
tired of reviewing right now and I don't have all that much to 
say about this piece so I'll just apologize and stop writing 
and stop pretending my opinion matters.  Sorry.

Time: Thu, 15-Feb-2001 18:53:05 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.99

Just so everybody knows, the cover story of today's (Thursday) 
Iowa City Press Citizen weekend section is about No Shame.  The 
photos in it are really pretty great.  Go pick one up!

Neil

Time: Thu, 15-Feb-2001 20:23:38 GMT     IP: 130.91.24.47



It's online, too, at 
http://www.press-citizen.com/life/021501shame.htm

Time: Fri, 16-Feb-2001 16:41:38 GMT     IP: 209.244.178.170

Der, check this:

The "fake" Dan Brooks message was supposedly posted TEN MINUTES 
before Danger comes back all haughty and replies with his 
identity "theories." So either Danger monitors the NS board every 
ten minutes, or he HIMSELF posted the first message to give 
himself something to reply to.

Also: Analysis of the writing style shows a juvenile attempt to 
mimic my own style. While I *am* found of the word "wad" I never 
preface it with "piece of," and would never use the phrase "I 
like my own Dan Brooks butthole," which is tasteless as shit, and 
*so* Chris Stangl cerca fall 1999.

Also: Danger was sitting at a computer at work Sunday before last 
and I came over and he said he had just besmirched my name on the 
No Shame board, and I said, oh yeah, I'll have to check it out 
sometime, and it just occurred to me now to see what he had done.

Also: Last night I had this dream that I was the dramaturg for a 
play by Amy Wheeler in a cavernous stage space in the University 
of Iowa, except my NY boss was there, and he was telling me to 
fix the floor, which I was trying to do, but my teeth were 
falling out and I kept bleeding from my mouth, and my sister 
comes in to tell me that my ex-girlfriend is on the phone from 
France, being a jerk, and Kate Aspengren wants me to climb a 
ladder with this big dangerous plank sticking out of it, and Mary 
Fons is acting like a neurotic, and I really just break down 
crying and bleeding, because it's all to much to take.

Real life remains simple and uninteresting.

Mose

Time: Sat, 17-Feb-2001 00:08:13 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.67

15. "Frankie --&-- Johnny"
  ...I didn't get anything out of the lamp and sodas besides the 
impression that Chris needs objects on stage with him during his 
monologues.

    Tacky = doing analytic work on your own... work.  But this 
seems to be "itching" at least 5 people who've asked me -- like 
there's some "Meaning" or some"thing" (re: drinking three sodas 
during poem) that they're missing.  Specifically K. Scherf asked 
me what "the Point" was, which makes my "panties ride up," 
because it reduces artist's intentions to one solitary goal, and 
demands icky articulation of gut-responses.           Thank you 
N. Clark for not requesting definitive Answers, (they don't 
exist), but since you seem to be needing "Points To Ponder"...

1) The initial idea of reinventing "Frankie -&- Johnny" 100 times 
(later reduced!) and the image of a man drinking three sodas in 
the dark were borne of my subconscious simultaneously, and I was 
loathe to separate them, for they Felt Right.  It's not a poem I 
had and felt needed physical beefing-up, or a Dada disjunction: 
two cutlets off the same baby seal.

2) Jones soda is the only soda locally available in clear 
bottles.  They are beautiful when lit from behind.

3) While not playing a "character" per se, I hoped the frenzy and 
scary ecstasy of sugar/ caffeine rush would seep into both 
performer and audience.

4) M. Nepstad: "the last bottle was the same color as the 
lampshade."

5) Most importantly, the depleting liquid gave the piece a 
gauge.  Each swig of soda marked off the endpoints of each cycle 
through the "Frankie -&- Johnny" myth.  That the audience could see 
three bottles and measure the quantity remaining in each (Jones 
bottles are clear, the soda bright) indicates a visible finish 
line.  The unspoken contract is that the piece ends when I'm out 
of soda.  This inevitability found resonant as it mirrors the 
"F-&-J" tragic cycle: the lovers WILL hurt each other, Johnny WILL 
die.  The when/where/how is poetical window dressing.  The sodas' 
depletion, while it makes the temporal physical, is sort of an 
elastic count-down clock.  It doesn't keep steady time.  There's 
still no telling when or how much soda I'll drink.
  "Why?" is the hardest question to answer.  The soda guzzling as 
a striking, simple image that I could milk for happily plastic 
structure just Came To Me, felt good, felt right.  But if I had 
been unable to think of any reason to USE it, I wouldn't have.  
That is my spoken contract.
    Boing.
          -see em stangl at hotmail dot com

Time: Sat, 17-Feb-2001 02:36:07 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.30

:all you're left with is a penis going in and out of a vagina

  That D. Fairchild defines sex as "a penis going in and out of a 
vagina" should speak for itself, as should:

:Two not-so-pretty organs.  Disgusting bodily fluids.

  Dan: the "charges" leveled against you are that your humor is 
sex-negative, vulgar and juvenile.  Your defenses are to state 
bluntly that you are sex-negative, think sex is vulgar.  You and 
your critics seem to see eye to eye, save for that if you strip 
away ALL the varnish, sex would probably seem natural and not 
disgusting, but so would defecating and eating placenta.

:this is the only piece of mine that was actually about sex

   Er...

  -Love, Chris

Time: Sat, 17-Feb-2001 02:47:34 GMT     IP: 64.12.103.177



And speak for your own vagina, Dan.  Mine is prettier than sin!

Time: Sun, 18-Feb-2001 04:14:12 GMT     IP: 64.197.224.66

   I can never get over the striking similarity between eye and 
vulva.  This means something!  I know it.
   Sight.  Childbirth.  Voyeurism.  Fucking.  Eyeball drawn out 
by placing vacuum hose on face.  Tongue peddles clitoris, tries 
to reach inside but is struck by its limitation of not being a 
penis.  Reach deep with fingers inside a human body!  Search to 
pet what makes the breath change.  And the human breathes 
differently because she has been found, in vagina or in brain.

Time: Mon, 19-Feb-2001 01:22:57 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.89

NO SHAME THEATRE
February 16, 2001

ORDER/ ANNOUNCEMENTS: River, Clarke

NATIONAL ANTHEM led by Paul Rust (Rust leads filthy schoolyard 
chant).

0.5. "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson; comedy sketch]  Vodka -&- love do not a cocktail 
make.

1. "Little Shit's Birthday Present" by Paul Rust
[Rust, River; comic monologue/ sketch]  Guided by Angel Judge 
Reinhold, a problem child repents.

2. "Oh Fudge" by Erin King
[King; comic monologue]  Woman who loves everything, including 
boy, rejected, vomits.

3. "The Last Word" by Kevin Swatek
[Swatek; dramatic monologue]  Man driven to vigilante subway 
shootings by depressing newspaper.

4. "Improv Storytime" by Amanda
[Amanda]  Amanda tells illustrated free-associative story, re: 
flying beans, poop.

5. "My Love Life at Age Six" by Nella Christo Arbock
[King; monologue]  Young love in the library's spinning chairs 
leads to vomiting.

6. "Groove Bowel and the Towel" by Mark Hansen
[Fairchild, Rust, Mark, ?; comedy sketch]  Pun-laden, free-
associative news report including love, rejection.

7. "Peeing John Malkovich: The Only Sketch That Matters" by Al 
Angel
[River, Stangl, Angel; inexplicable comedy sketch]  Three men 
impersonate their girlfriends as society ladies at tea.

8. "Rosencrantz and Stansfield are Dead" by Dan Fairchild
[Fairchild, ---; comedy sketch]  Gary Oldman fans re-enact 
actor's death scenes, lament same.

9. "She's So Gay and Retarded" by Aprille Clarke
[Clarke; comedic, romantic monologue]  The only replacement for 
a dead retarded lesbian is dog sex.

10. "The Legend of Honest Tom" by Arlen Lawson
[Lawson, River, Stangl; sketchy monologue] In rebirth allegory, 
boy throws self from church over town 
vampire legend.

11. "Number Blue" by Brian Tuttle
[Tuttle, Maglee McQuarlick; dramatic scene]  Guardian angel 
quits on disbelieving young fellow.

12. "The Only Way" by King Toad
[River; mean song] You have to go home, because grumpy Hambo is 
tired of YOU.

12.5 "This Will Only Hurt For a Moment" by Chris Okiishi
[Okiishi; monologue] Gay sex can be sad, but love is even sadder 
if someone gives you AIDS.

13. "A Total Waste of Time" by Tom "Kovie" Kovacs
[Kovacs, Fairchild, King, Stangl, ?; comedy sketch]  Kovacs' 
lack of script causes audience riot. 

14. "The Problem with a Penis" by Pookman
["Pookman"; stand-up comedy] Why anal sex is for homosexuals 
only.

15. "The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson, River; comedy monologue for three]  Retired 
armymen relate secret govt. plan to marry Adolf Hitler.

Time: Mon, 19-Feb-2001 03:57:04 GMT     IP: 128.255.52.162

This is Paul Rust with another review of another show. Every week, 
my nagging conscience tells me I have no right to be critical of 
others' art. Then I get bored and write a review to kill time. 
Right now, I'm waiting in the library for a girl to finish with 
reserved material I need. I think I'll write a review!!
Oh yeah... I want to urge audience members to start writing 
reviews, too. You probably have better comments to make than 
anybody else and they are welcome... by me at least.

NO SHAME THEATRE
February 16, 2001

ORDER/ ANNOUNCEMENTS: River, Clarke

NATIONAL ANTHEM led by Paul Rust (Rust leads filthy schoolyard 
chant).
Some kid taught me this in the third grade. The next day, my voice 
instantly deepened and I grew pubic hair. Coincidence? I think 
not.

0.5. "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson; comedy sketch]  Vodka --&-- love do not a cocktail 
make.
This sketch finally put that ignorant "Why Women Are Better Than 
Alcohol" poster in its place. Thank God.

1. "Little Shit's Birthday Present" by Paul Rust
[Rust, River; comic monologue/ sketch]  Guided by Angel Judge 
Reinhold, a problem child repents.
In movies, Judge Reinhold always seemed like such a sweet man to 
me. I think of Jamal the same way. That's why I asked him to 
portray him. Jamal did a nice job.

2. "Oh Fudge" by Erin King
[King; comic monologue]  Woman who loves everything, including 
boy, rejected, vomits.
This piece had a really interesting message behind it. People 
really do use the word "love" to the point of meaninglessness. In 
addition to the well-thought-out topic, I liked Erin's 
performance. Last week, I thought her acting lacked confidence, 
but she was pretty sure of herself in this one.

3. "The Last Word" by Kevin Swatek
[Swatek; dramatic monologue]  Man driven to vigilante subway 
shootings by depressing newspaper.
This piece really reminded me of Kevin Spacey's scene in the 
backseat of the police car in "Seven" (the bald head, the initials 
K.S.). Oh, and the fact that they both used people's natural 
dislike of social problems to persuade them into irrational 
actions. First thinking, "Yeah, he right." And then thinking, "Oh 
God, I'm agreeing with a psychotic person." This was a really 
convincing and well-done performace by Kevin Swatek. I only wish 
he would have stood up during more of the piece to give it more 
power.

4. "Improv Storytime" by Amanda
[Amanda]  Amanda tells illustrated free-associative story, re: 
flying beans, poop.
This was hilarious. Amanda's delivery of being nervous and 
scramble-brained was new and interesting. Is she new? I hope she 
continues to do more No Shame pieces... perhaps non-improved?

5. "My Love Life at Age Six" by Nella Christo Arbock
[King; monologue]  Young love in the library's spinning chairs 
leads to vomiting.
Are these "My Love Life..." monologues a series? Interesting if it 
is. Hopefully, it builds more on the topic of love. Like how love 
revealed other aspects of life to her besides just love. I like it 
now, but if they don't start being delivered in different ways 
(i.e. poetry, song, sketch), it could get stale. But this may not 
even be a series, in which case, I'm just an idiot talking for no 
reason.

6. "Groove Bowel and the Towel" by Mark Hansen
[Fairchild, Rust, Mark, ?; comedy sketch]  Pun-laden, free-
associative news report including love, rejection.
Speaking of interesting deliveries, I liked how this sketch was in 
the format of a news report. Instead of just being a 
boy-meets-pregnant-clown sketch, the news report angle made it 
seem like a detached, everyday occurence.

7. "Peeing John Malkovich: The Only Sketch That Matters" by Al 
Angel [River, Stangl, Angel; inexplicable comedy sketch]  Three 
men impersonate their girlfriends as society ladies at tea.
Laughed my ass off on this one (literally - ha! ha!ha?). In the 
beginning, however, I was a little wary. I was afraid it was too 
"inside-jokeish" and would collapse on its own self-knowing-ness.
By the end though, it rose above being just that and could be 
enjoyed by all. "Best of" perhaps? Eh? Eh?

8. "Rosencrantz and Stansfield are Dead" by Dan Fairchild
[Fairchild, ---; comedy sketch]  Gary Oldman fans re-enact 
actor's death scenes, lament same.
Research on this was wonderful. I like pieces that educate me 
(Okiishi's piece about biological changes, Neil's Cary Grant 
piece). And although some argue pop culture references exclude 
people, I think they have a power to bond an audience like nothing 
else. And this really brought an audience together in remembering 
certain film scenes.

Alright, the girl's been done with the reserved material for 
awhile. I'm going to Xerox some stuff. I'll finish my review 
later.
And oh yeah... Stangl! Write a review goddammit! They're good and 
it's been awhile!

Time: Mon, 19-Feb-2001 07:10:13 GMT     IP: 128.255.191.46

Let me start this off by saying I'm a dumbass audience member 
(see subject line)...and really I have no place to critique. 
BUT! by the urging of Paul Rust's potent penis and erect words, 
(or is that erect penis and potent words) i decided to take a 
chance and write a review. so here goes it.

oh wait, but know that despite what i say, i am jealous of 
everyone writing/performing because they are all one up on me. 
at least you all did something. i'm just a lazy bastard.

NO SHAME THEATRE
February 16, 2001

ORDER/ ANNOUNCEMENTS: River, Clarke

NATIONAL ANTHEM led by Paul Rust (Rust leads filthy schoolyard 
chant).
Paul Rust is hilarious and curse words are funny. always. in 
every context.

0.5. "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson; comedy sketch]  Vodka --&-- love do not a 
cocktail 
make.
Not my favorite piece of this series, but I really do enjoy the 
dynamic of the two characters.

1. "Little Shit's Birthday Present" by Paul Rust
[Rust, River; comic monologue/ sketch]  Guided by Angel Judge 
Reinhold, a problem child repents.
I loved this piece from Paul. I didnt expect a dramatic ending. 
In fact, I expected Judge Reinhold to come and say something 
about actually being Ben Savage. But to mix a popular 80's hunk 
like the Judge with the Little Shit was awesome.

2. "Oh Fudge" by Erin King
[King; comic monologue]  Woman who loves everything, including 
boy, rejected, vomits.
I do enjoy Erin's performances. I hope that she can get involved 
in more skits and less monologues. Anytime someone sticks to 
just one formula it gets tiresome. but...its only her second 
week. im being too judgemental. sorry, Erin. you can punch me in 
the nuts...if you know who i am. if you dont...i look just like 
Paul Rust. in fact, i am Paul Rust. so punch me in the nuts.

3. "The Last Word" by Kevin Swatek
[Swatek; dramatic monologue]  Man driven to vigilante subway 
shootings by depressing newspaper.
Enjoyed the content. It made me feel like I should stand up and 
yell, "This is our Independence Day!" in my best Bill Pullman 
impression. And to be honest, i spent much of the monologue 
thinking of Bill Pullman's name. it needed some levels, some 
variety. 

4. "Improv Storytime" by Amanda
[Amanda]  Amanda tells illustrated free-associative story, re: 
flying beans, poop.
i enjoyed seeing this style. Is improv approved...encouraged? i 
guess i was surprised to see an improv sort of dealio. i agree 
with paul, i would like to see amanda in a skit.

5. "My Love Life at Age Six" by Nella Christo Arbock
[King; monologue]  Young love in the library's spinning chairs 
leads to vomiting.
...see number 2...and punch Paul Rust, me, in the nuts again.

6. "Groove Bowel and the Towel" by Mark Hansen
[Fairchild, Rust, Mark, ?; comedy sketch]  Pun-laden, free-
associative news report including love, rejection.
"clowns in my family get pregnant easily." loved the line. 
laughed so hard at that line. and throughout the scene. i 
especially like mark's style. i think that it was very evident 
in the line "i also wanted to point out that" by the way, the 
girl in it is Tina Sherwood. get ready because Mark, Rust and 
this Tina girl are going to knock everyone's "shoes" off at the 
Ten-Minute Play festival (mwa ha ugh)

7. "Peeing John Malkovich: The Only Sketch That Matters" by Al 
Angel
[River, Stangl, Angel; inexplicable comedy sketch]  Three men 
impersonate their girlfriends as society ladies at tea.
i definately think there are some inside jokes that im not privy 
to...but i still thought it was hilarious. and the title is 
awesome.

8. "Rosencrantz and Stansfield are Dead" by Dan Fairchild
[Fairchild, ---; comedy sketch]  Gary Oldman fans re-enact 
actor's death scenes, lament same.
a very true statement in this sketch was "no one really knows 
what movies Gary Oldman is in" because i didnt. but then again, 
what do i know?

9. "She's So Gay and Retarded" by Aprille Clarke
[Clarke; comedic, romantic monologue]  The only replacement for 
a dead retarded lesbian is dog sex.
i really enjoy Aprille's style. i like how her monologues all 
have similar themes but are so different in content that it 
doesn't get annoying or mundane. in fact, as each week passes i 
like her characters more and more.

10. "The Legend of Honest Tom" by Arlen Lawson
[Lawson, River, Stangl; sketchy monologue] In rebirth allegory, 
boy throws self from church over town 
vampire legend.
if there is one reason to go to No Shame on a friday nite, its 
to experience that which is Arlen Lawson.

11. "Number Blue" by Brian Tuttle
[Tuttle, Maglee McQuarlick; dramatic scene]  Guardian angel 
quits on disbelieving young fellow.
Brian, you need to do the levels thing. you hit the audience too 
hard at the beginning really not allowing the storyline to grab 
the attention and compassion of the audience. you need to have 
less emotion. does that make any sense? this is my favorite 
piece of yours to date and i enjoy how you used a scene formant. 
keep working at it. 

12. "The Only Way" by King Toad
[River; mean song] You have to go home, because grumpy Hambo is 
tired of YOU.
i really liked both the music and the lyrics. had problems 
hearing every word, but thats because my ear was bitten off by a 
small man sitting to the right of me. maybe it was Gary Oldman.

12.5 "This Will Only Hurt For a Moment" by Chris Okiishi
[Okiishi; monologue] Gay sex can be sad, but love is even sadder 
if someone gives you AIDS.
if there are two reasons to go to No Shame on a Friday night, 
its to see Arlen...and Okiishi. anything touching wonderful 
piece. i loved this piece. i think i really enjoyed it because 
it touched on homosexuality in a way thats not commonly done. 
plus, his performance is always so heartfelt and compassionate. 

13. "A Total Waste of Time" by Tom "Kovie" Kovacs
[Kovacs, Fairchild, King, Stangl, ?; comedy sketch]  Kovacs' 
lack of script causes audience riot. 
fitting title. no, i'm kidding. i did like this piece. 
especially Dan's part. its necessary to have the audience 
dynamic at least once in an evening, and this one was one of the 
better ones ive seen.

14. "The Problem with a Penis" by Pookman
["Pookman"; stand-up comedy] Why anal sex is for homosexuals 
only.
hmm...i dont know about this one. i would find it hard to 
perform a piece like this. i think the problem with this piece 
was its lack of character. it just seemed like pookman was 
spouting off ideas which he thought was funny. and in theory, 
they are. but in practice, at No Shame. not funny...more 
offensive. if he hadnt mentioned homosexuals i think it would be 
better. i dont know. i'm not homosexual and i was slightly 
offended...but maybe i was still pissed about my ear getting 
bitten off. fuckin oldman.

15. "The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson, River; comedy monologue for three]  Retired 
armymen relate secret govt. plan to marry Adolf Hitler.
another great Stangl piece. i like his monologues/scenes better 
and better. at the beginning of the year i was kinda sketchy, 
but now i really look forward to the end of the show because i 
really enjoy Stangl's work. the apple was hilarious. yahoo to 
soda pop and apples. props are sweet and no one should complain 
about props in monologues. ever. unless the person who 
writes/performs sucks. which stangl doesn't. so dont get down on 
the prop usage.

yo. thats it. 
love and loins,
spencer

Time: Tue, 20-Feb-2001 03:31:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.52.160

Here's the rest of my review, Uncle Terry.

9. "She's So Gay and Retarded" by Aprille Clarke
[Clarke; comedic, romantic monologue]  The only replacement for 
a dead retarded lesbian is dog sex.
Aprille does a really nice job of walking a fine line between 
outrageousness and offensiveness. Although the jokes maybe 
tasteless, you can tell she cares a lot about the characters she 
plays, so her monologues don't become too mean-spirited or 
hateful. And the image of a cocker spaniel with a strap-on is 
funny no matter what.

10. "The Legend of Honest Tom" by Arlen Lawson
[Lawson, River, Stangl; sketchy monologue] In rebirth allegory, 
boy throws self from church over town vampire legend.
All of the ideas Arlen had (death, childhood, mythology) were very 
interesting and put together beautifully. The only problem I had 
with this was that it seemed Arlen took on too much. It was as if 
he was rushing to get all these ideas out and in effect, didn't 
give justice to any of them. And that's a shame because they were 
really good ideas. This could really work as a short story, but as 
a "sketchy monologue," it seemed to be too much.

11. "Number Blue" by Brian Tuttle
[Tuttle, Maglee McQuarlick; dramatic scene]  Guardian angel 
quits on disbelieving young fellow.
This was Brian's best work so far.  But, as Spencer said, I think 
his pieces need to cool down emotionally. In my opinion, drama 
works best if you introduce heavy concepts slowly and lightly.  
Too much can weigh down an audience to the point where they become 
disinterested. I have to applaud Brian though on having carved out 
a personal niche already in only three pieces. 

12. "The Only Way" by King Toad
[River; mean song] You have to go home, because grumpy Hambo is 
tired of YOU.
The way Jamal structures a song always wows me.  I've only heard 
his "How to Decompose" album, but that and this song both rise 
above simple "verse-chorus-verse" compositions and challenge a 
listener's expectations of a pop song.

12.5 "This Will Only Hurt For a Moment" by Chris Okiishi
[Okiishi; monologue] Gay sex can be sad, but love is even sadder 
if someone gives you AIDS.
My favorite Okiishi piece I've ever seen. It used to be the one 
about burning c.d.'s to please others and not playing the board 
game with the little boy (sorry, I don't remember the title). But 
this was an even better mixture of pain and whistfulness. The 
acting, the writing, the props - everything was perfect.

13. "A Total Waste of Time" by Tom "Kovie" Kovacs
[Kovacs, Fairchild, King, Stangl, ?; comedy sketch]  Kovacs' 
lack of script causes audience riot. 
This was really good. Tom should write for different people more 
often. And that bored, detached look he had on stage was really 
funny. 

14. "The Problem with a Penis" by Pookman
["Pookman"; stand-up comedy] Why anal sex is for homosexuals only.
First off, I honestly applaud anybody who can make so much of an 
audience feel turned off. When only half the audience clapped, I 
felt really bad for Pookman, but then also, sort of envious. I 
hate it when controversial topics are made "cute" and the crowd 
eats it up (I don't mean No Shame here, but things like SNL, 
etc.). However, I can't say the ends justified the means in this 
case. The idealogy expressed towards homosexuality (it may not be 
Pookman's, but who knows?) is just ignorant. If he can find a way 
to disturb an audience without insulting them (maybe in a 
non-stand-up format), it'll be great. I guess he'll just have to 
keep trying and I hope he does.

15. "The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson, River; comedy monologue for three]  Retired 
armymen relate secret govt. plan to marry Adolf Hitler.
This was great. I love irreverance towards older generations' 
nostalgia. No matter what, other people's memories should be taken 
with a grain of salt. And after all of this Tom Brokaw "the 
greatest generation" bullshit, it was refreshing to see this 
piece. Too bad I got a bloody nose and had to leave for the last 
minute.

This was my review. Hmm. I just noticed something. Isn't it funny 
when you look at other people in a computer lab and they're 
looking at their monitors smiling? They look so silly. Bye.

Time: Thu, 22-Feb-2001 22:45:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

13. "A Total Waste of Time" by Tom "Kovie" Kovacs
[Kovacs, Fairchild, King, Stangl, ?; comedy sketch]  Kovacs' 
lack of script causes audience riot. This was really good. Tom 
should write for different people more often. And that bored, 
detached look he had on stage was really funny. 

I've wanted to do an audience piece for a while, and I honestly 
think this turned out a lot better than I expected.  Thanks to 
everybody that helped me with this piece.  I couldn't have done 
it without you people screaming at me from the audience.  But, 
I've got to mention the two names that fill in the "?".  One is 
Amanda, the improv girl.  The other, who was hidden way in the 
back, was Jeff Hanson (if I didn't remember this correctly, 
please correct me), who was also in Dan Fairchild's piece.

Now, to kick the fucking shit out of that dead horse that was my 
imposter, I've got to say one quick thing.  The word "Goddamn" is 
about the only word I consciously try to keep out of my 
vocabulary.  I may fucking curse like a chicken shit draft dodger 
who just had his bitch blast the shit out of his foot with a 12-
guage to stay away from those assholes in Viet-
fuckmelikethedirtyoldbastardIam-nam, but I do have my limits.  
There's a line in Alien 3 that goes something like "Fuck and shit 
are OK because they don't mean shit to God."  I tend to agree 
with that.

That'll be all.
Tom

Time: Fri, 23-Feb-2001 01:32:43 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.14

   I, really, truly, and from the bottom of my heart, hope that 
this was not an imposter.  Because right now it is a tearfully 
beautiful thing and to find that it was intentionally so would 
reduce its beauty.

Time: Fri, 23-Feb-2001 20:24:30 GMT     IP: 207.165.237.210

Yes, the bloke that was in both my piece and that of Tom Kovacs 
was Jeffrey Lloyd Hansen, my room mate and friend since junior 
high.  By that I mean he has been my friend since junior high.  
Not my room mate. Thank you, Mr. Kovacs for giving him credit at 
last.  I done neglected to do that.

-dan

Time: Sat, 24-Feb-2001 07:35:27 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.83

No Shame Theatre
2-23-2001

Order/ Announcements: River/ Campbell

0.5. "The Prohibition" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl, Lawson; comedy sketch]  Prohibition's rewards reaped 
generations later.

1. "Two Twenty Three: A Birthday Card" by Neil Campbell
[Campbell; romantic autobio monologue]  Neil Campbell LOVES a 
girl through birthdays past, present.

2. "My Lovelife at Age Eight" by Nella Christo Arbock
[Nepstad; monologue]  Smart eight-year-old loves not-smart eight-
year-old, ends romance.

3. "A Love Poem" by Merideth!
[Nepstad; comedy poem]  Rhymed, metered plea for "Pookman" to 
overcome phobia re: hetero anal sex.

4. "How to Hurt a Man" by Soccer Pele
[River, Galbraith, Stangl, Lawson; comedy sketch]  Gangsters 
torture fund-skimmer via sex-change, childbirth.

5. "Ventilin" by Asthma V. Cooks
[Rust, Cassady; comedy sketch]  Frantic idiots exchange non 
sequiturs, wrestle, hump.

6. "Paperclip Eyebrows" by Mark Hansen
[Hansen; comic monologue]  Man writes bittersweet love letter to 
cheese stain.

7. "Feed the Ape for a Quarter" by Dan Fairchild
[Fairchild, Hansen, Lawson, River, Stangl, --; comedy sketch]  
Ape eats too many peppers, pops.

8. "Know This is True" by Kevin Swatek
[Swatek; poem]  Rhymed, metered unrequited love poem.

9. "Here's Looking at You" by Thomas Kovacs
[Kovacs, Fairchild, Nepstad, --; comedy sketch]  The War of the 
Sexes just won't quit, as ladies and men discuss in separate 
corners how to impress one another.

10. "The Curse of the Kovacs Clan" by Sam Negron
[Negron; comic monologue]  "Tom Kovacs" explains how every 
member of "family and extended family" died, chokes on script.

11. "The Word as Will and Vagina" a song by Arlen Lawson
[Lawson, River; song]  Courage comes in a bottle, and that's 
kind of sad and pretty-sad.

12. "One for the Cunni; Two for the Blow" by Mike Cassady
[Galbraith, Rust, River; comedy sketch]  "Dad, where do babies 
come from?" "Penises_ and vaginas!"

13. "Fantasmico" by Neil VanGorder
[VanGorder; comic monologue]  Coked-up "light-machine" inventor 
saves NYC from chickens.

14. "The Pee-Hole Butt Turd.  A Tale of Adventure" by Al "Tom 
Ate a Man" Angel
[Kovacs; comic story]  Butt turd stuck in pee hole, causes 
distress among pees, audience.

15. "The Graverobbing Lesson" by Chris Stangl
[Stangl; comic monologue]  4th grade field trip learns about 
18th century homosexual grave robbing gangs.

I love you, even if you hate me,
CHRIS STANGL

Time: Sat, 24-Feb-2001 22:47:23 GMT     IP: 64.12.103.169


The correct title of my piece is "A LOVE Poem!" by Merideth! 
Please note capitalization and !.  

Smee!

Time: Sun, 25-Feb-2001 00:21:34 GMT     IP: 24.14.116.105

Just a reminder... even if it is a little late.
The band I lead sing for, The Subordinates, plays at Sam's Pizza 
tonight (Saturday) at nine. We're opening for Lame.
We sing songs about deaf, blind, and dumb kids. They can't play 
pinball though. They just sit there and drool.

Time: Sun, 25-Feb-2001 00:48:04 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.100

So, what exactly are the rules regarding show length? Is there 
an unspoken rule that Chris F. Stang gets two pieces in 
regardless of how many folks get turned away? I don't care if 
one of his pieces is 15 seconds long, it's a crappy thing to do 
when there's people who waited in line for 20 minutes and didn't 
get in. 

Time: Sun, 25-Feb-2001 06:56:44 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

Lak of sobriety and the presence of a woman hep yuo admt thinks 
you woodn't otherwise telll everyone.

Time: Sun, 25-Feb-2001 22:45:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.52.130

:So, what exactly are the rules regarding show length? Is there 
:an unspoken rule that Chris F. Stang gets two pieces in 
:regardless of how many folks get turned away? I don't care if 
:one of his pieces is 15 seconds long, it's a crappy thing to do 
:when there's people who waited in line for 20 minutes and didn't 
:get in. 


   Why is it a crappy thing to do?  If, after the order had been 
filled, you put into Chris Stangl's hand a piece that was only 
fifteen seconds long, my guess is that you would make an 
appearance that night.  There is a precedent for a tiny piece 
slipping in as an x.5, which is what Chris's short skits are.  
   Show length: Fifteen pieces a Friday.  Plus .5s.  Piece not to 
exceed five minutes, unless you feel like it and are popular 
enough for people not to get mad at you.  Show average: seven 
hours.
   I'm sorry you got turnedededed away.  After waiting for twenty 
minutes to boot.  It's happened to me on a few occasions.  As a 
sort of a pacifier let me offer you three truths.  1. You are 
allowed to come to the front of the line next week.  In fact, each 
and every time you fail to get a piece in the order, you will be 
allowed to come to the front of the line the following week.  
...because I have decided that you may, though I am not a board 
member.  2. Chris Stangl did not steal your spot in the order.  
The fuckers who cut in front of you even though you were there 
early stole your spot in the order.  And, if no one cut in front 
of you, well, you should have been there earlier.  3. Chris's 
pieces are, with few exceptions, the best of the evening and on 
their own worth my entire dollar, or would be, were I still paying 
a dollar to get in every week.
   I just realized you might be mad that Chris' monologue gets in 
every week, without fail.  Another thing you should know, then, is 
that all that time you're waiting in line to hand a script to 
Chris, he is furiously scribbling inane clusters of words onto a 
page, trying his best to determine which script in his face came 
at him first, while I shout at him, "Hey, Chris! Chris! Hey Chris, 
are you listening?  Pay attention.  I got this piece I want you to 
be in! Did you even hear me Chris? STAAAAAAAAAAAN-GL!"  And this 
is a much more arduous task than shoving a script in his face. 
(Note:This is a justification for his actual factual piece getting 
in each week.  For his little piece getting in each week, see 
paragraph 1 and truths 2 and 3.)

                 Your Homosexual Lover in Christ,
                                             Arlen    

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 00:05:41 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.31

:So, what exactly are the rules regarding show length?

  The rules, as stated at the top of every single show, are that 
pieces shouldn't exeed five minutes in length.  That is all.
  "Tradition" dictates that fifteen pieces is a happy "maximum."  
Physical method for taking order has long been to write the 
numbers 1-15 on loose notebook paper, indicating to casual 
observers that the show is "supposed" to be fifteen pieces long, 
though the best shows are aprox. 5-9 pieces long.
  Tradition also dictates that whoever is currently serving term 
as "order taker," be it C. Stangl, or D. Brooks before him, will 
go through Tough Love phases of actually trying to not take more 
than fifteen pieces.  Taking Order currently takes about twelve 
minutes, which gives me a quarter hour to run to the theatre, 
drape my coat over a chair and run-through whatever stage 
directions Arlen "Lightfingers" Lawson needs to nitpick over, ask 
some unfortunate to run lights, etc.

:Is there an unspoken rule that Chris F. Stang[l] gets two pieces 
:in regardless of how many folks get turned away?

  There is a spoken tradition that kind-hearted order-takers will 
make space for scripts which are clearly fifteen seconds long, 
usually delegating them to Point Five spots.  The three people 
turned away had scripts of a full page or more, and one of them 
was Pookman, who has in the past elaborate on his scripts until 
they ran over five minutes.  It's exciting to see a surplus of 
writers, but none of them are doing blackout gag sketches, and 
these are important to breaking up the show.

:I don't care if one of his pieces is 15 seconds long, it's a 
:crappy thing to do when there's people who waited in line for 20 
:minutes and didn't get in

  TWENTY minute wait and you're complaining?  Time was you had to 
get to the lounge an HOUR early if you wanted a spot... crybaby.
  It is theoretically "crappy" to give myself two spots and turn 
away three people, but, to put it undiplomatically, it's "stupid" 
to pretend there was space for three more "full-length" sketches, 
but not for a Point Five.

  Alyssa Coughed on my Head,
       Chris Stangl

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 01:00:34 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.31

:I have no place to critique

    If anything, the audience should be voicing here more than 
the performers, otherwise this is just a circle jerk.  And while 
circle jerks are great, you need the diversity of being statutory-
raped by the audience, too.

:14. "The Problem with a Penis" by Pookman
:i think the problem with this piece was its lack of character. 
:it just seemed like pookman was spouting off ideas

    Are stand-up comics usually working with fully developed 
"characters"?  This is a complicated question, even if excluding 
obvious exceptions like Richard Pryor (character monologues as 
standup), Pee Wee Herman, Steve Martin, A Kaufmann (working in 
standup forums but not doing standup), Emo Philips, and, ulp, 
Andrew "Dice" Clay (standup "in character").
      Stephen Wright or Woody Allen may be in-character when 
doing standup, and that character may guide and slant the 
material, but the jokes are not primarily character-based 
comedy.  Chris Rock, or Dennis Miller are "doing" characters- who 
happen to be named Chris Rock or Dennis Miller- but their 
audiences are supposed to be swallowing the material at face-
value, not concentrating on and making allowances for the 
performers as actors.
     Pookman's standup persona may be underdeveloped, but since 
it's clearly not on his agenda as a standup, there's also no need 
for him to fully develop a character totally outside his own 
personality.

:not funny...more offensive. if he hadnt mentioned homosexuals i 
:think it would be better

    "Totally different piece" more than "better."  Trying to 
separate the inherent homophobia and body-disgust from this 
material is like saying that without the gorilla "King Kong" 
would be boring.

ALSO:

:no one should complain about props in monologues. ever.

    No Shame, minimalist, unrehearsed and semi-spontaneous as it 
is, does not lend itself happily to prop/ costume-heavy pieces, 
and never to tech-heavy pieces.  Majestic NST moments with props 
abound: the PeeFart Co. Jar of Poop, Dan Brooks' wind-up fish, 
the Gandhi Death Bullet demonstration, Egg Hahn's eggs, but it's 
a reasonable bet that a big sack of props is going to be 
agonizing.  There's nothing inherently wrong with props.  The NST 
ideal is fast and writing/ performance oriented, and isn't 
conducive to excessive props.

Christopher Laura Horowitz Stangl

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 01:03:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.55.65

:3. Chris's 
:pieces are, with few exceptions, the best of the evening and on 
:their own worth my entire dollar, or would be, were I still paying 
:a dollar to get in every week.

I think this is a terrible thing to say, not because I have any 
disrespect for Chris or the quality of his pieces, but because a 
statement like this one is not relevant to the argument and goes 
against the intent of No Shame.  You get to be in No Shame by 
having a script which will fit in the order in the lounge on time.  
It shouldn't have anything to do with quality.  Maybe the order 
taker shows favoritism to a talented friend sometimes by sneaking 
him/her into the order at the last minute, but I don't think this 
is something that should be encouraged when we're talking about 
order taking policy.
     -Nella

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 04:26:58 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.65

Well, I'm glad the 2 stars of Chris' extra pieces are so in favor 
of them.

  There is a spoken tradition that kind-hearted order-takers will 
:
make space for scripts which are clearly fifteen seconds long, 
:
usually delegating them to Point Five spots.


1st, your piece wasn't 15 seconds; it was short, but it wasn't a 
stage cross or a blackout or whatever. 2nd, I know for a fact 
that Tom Kovacs wanted to have a second piece, a mini piece, a 
".5" as you call it, but was refused. If you truly think you can 
rationalize putting in 2 pieces by one performer when people are 
getting turned away, then I still don't see how you can justify 
putting in 2 peices by the SAME person every week if there are 
others who want to do what you're doing. By your explanation, 
Kovacs had just as much right to a 2nd piece as you.

And as far all the stress of having to show up a whole 12 minutes 
before the pieces are taken and then having to write down the 
titles on a piece of paper justifying you having extra spots in 
the order: I'll gladly show up at 10:18 every Friday and write 
down the names of some skits if it means I get to have 2 pieces 
in every show.   

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 04:51:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23

I dont think that a critique of ones critique is going to 
encourage more audience member critiques.  Also with the back and 
forth on 'x2' still no one has answered why Chris always gets two 
pieces in ideal spots in the line up.  Is this just his 
priviledge as script taker? I think its a good point, I mean what 
if someone has a piece that would only work in the first or last 
spot?  What then?  To say these pieces are the best and the only 
thing worth the dollar...or some such thing (borrowing from 
arlens reply)  goes against the reason for no shame unless Im 
wrong about the point of no shame.  Why not just have a best of 
no shame everynight and screw these untalented amateur 
scriptwriters/performers, who needs them?   

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 06:45:59 GMT     IP: 64.12.103.171



:Also with the back and 
:forth on 'x2' still no one has answered why Chris always gets 
two 
:pieces in ideal spots in the line up.  Is this just his 
:priviledge as script taker?

As script-taker he is first in line, so he puts himself in the 
spots he wants, but. . . 

:I think its a good point, I mean what 
:if someone has a piece that would only work in the first or last 
:spot?  What then?  

A couple weeks ago James Erwin got the first spot for this very 
reason.


:To say these pieces are the best and the only 
:thing worth the dollar...or some such thing (borrowing from 
:arlens reply)  goes against the reason for no shame unless Im 
:wrong about the point of no shame.  

He didn't say that.  He said that those pieces together were 
worth HIS dollar, which wasn't to say that the rest of the show 
isn't.  Which has nothing at all to do with the spirit of No 
Shame or whatever.

:Why not just have a best of 
:no shame everynight and screw these untalented amateur 
:scriptwriters/performers, who needs them?   
:

:1st, your piece wasn't 15 seconds; it was short, but it wasn't a 
:stage cross or a blackout or whatever. 2nd, I know for a fact 
:that Tom Kovacs wanted to have a second piece, a mini piece, a 
:".5" as you call it, but was refused. If you truly think you can 
:rationalize putting in 2 pieces by one performer when people are 
:getting turned away, then I still don't see how you can justify 
:putting in 2 peices by the SAME person every week if there are 
:others who want to do what you're doing. By your explanation, 
:Kovacs had just as much right to a 2nd piece as you.

Yep, just as much "right" to a second piece.  But as script-
taker, Chris was first in line, and decided not to take any more 
point fives that night, which is his prerogative.

:And as far all the stress of having to show up a whole 12 
minutes 
:before the pieces are taken and then having to write down the 
:titles on a piece of paper justifying you having extra spots in 
:the order: I'll gladly show up at 10:18 every Friday and write 
:down the names of some skits if it means I get to have 2 pieces 
:in every show.   

I don't understand why you people are bitching.  No Shame doesn't 
owe you anything.  It doesn't owe you a place in the order (much 
less two places), or a fair script-selection proceedure, and I 
don't feel like Chris has to "justify" anything. "Untalented, 
amateur script-writers and performers" like you and me get to be 
seen by an audience because other people -- the board members -- 
make it possible.  They do more than write down titles on a piece 
of paper.  And besides administrative and promotional crap they 
do so we can be in a show, it's largely their consistently good 
work and performance that brings the audience for the rest of 
us.  I'm grateful.  You should be too.  Quit whining.

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 07:18:51 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.108

:No Shame doesn't owe you a place in the order (much 
:
less two places), or a fair script-selection proceedure. 
"Untalented, 
:
amateur script-writers and performers" like you and me get to be 
:
seen by an audience because other people -- the board members -- 
:
make it possible.   it's largely their consistently good 
:
work and performance that brings the audience for the rest of 
:
us.  

That's great. Really great. That's the most interesting argument 
yet; No Shame doesn't have to be fair or reasonable: the board 
members are so darn cool that they make up for it. Their 3 to 6 
pieces a night overshadow the rest of the crap that gets 
performed, and absolve them of any need for fair play.
 
-Grant

(By the way, I'm not trying to diss the board members, whom I 
have no grief with, I just think that last post was absurd)

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 07:28:02 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23


I don't understand why you people are bitching.  No Shame doesn't 
:
owe you anything.  

Why I am bitching:
I think No Shame is an amazing thing, as a show, concept and 
forum.  I would hate to see the ideals that make it such ruined 
by some unchecked conceit on the part of a small group of 
people.  I don't think that No Shame exists to facilitate a 
popularity contest.

"Untalented, 
:
amateur script-writers and performers" like you and me get to be 
:
seen by an audience because other people -- the board members -- 
:
make it possible.  They do more than write down titles on a piece 
:
of paper.  And besides administrative and promotional crap they 
:
do so we can be in a show, it's largely their consistently good 
:
work and performance that brings the audience for the rest of 
:
us.  I'm grateful.  You should be too.  Quit whining.
:

:

As far as I know neither Chris Stangle nor any of the other board 
members invented No Shame.  Furthermore, I am fairly sure that if 
Chris didnt do it someone else would. Oh wait, I have proof: 


:
:And as far all the stress of having to show up a whole 12 
:
minutes 
:
:before the pieces are taken and then having to write down the 
:
:titles on a piece of paper justifying you having extra spots in 
:
:the order: I'll gladly show up at 10:18 every Friday and write 
:
:down the names of some skits if it means I get to have 2 pieces 
:
:in every show.   
:

Not that I dont appreciate the work these folks do, Im just 
saying it doesnt make them infallable and it doesn't make them 
the only foundation of No Shame.  Also if they cant take some 
critisism, or 'bitching' than maybe they should pass on the 
responsibility.


"Untalented, 
:
amateur script-writers and performers" like you and me get to be 
:
seen by an audience because other people -- the board members -- 
:
make it possible.  

Bullshit, there are many other places that allow untalented 
amateur scriptwriters/performers to be seen by an audience, the 
street for instance, or even the back of a truck.  Its the 
untalented amateur scriptwriters/performers and the audience that 
make the board members possible and therefore make the show 
possible.

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 08:51:21 GMT     IP: 64.12.101.163


:
That's great. Really great. That's the most interesting argument 
:
yet; No Shame doesn't have to be fair or reasonable: the board 
:
members are so darn cool that they make up for it. Their 3 to 6 
:
pieces a night overshadow the rest of the crap that gets 
:
performed, and absolve them of any need for fair play.
:
 
:
-Grant
:


You've completely misunderstood me.  Most of my post was devoted 
to pointing out how fair No Shame protocol, in fact, is.  If 
there were some significant unfairness taking place, such that it 
perverted No Shame into something other than what it was meant to 
be, then I would expect people to complain.  I don't think that 
the pieces of non-board members are crap.  I don't think that the 
board members are "so darn cool" that it makes up for anything.  
I do think that they do some work so that No Shame can take 
place, and I do think that their performances draw audience 
members, and because they are pretty damn fair, I don't mind if 
Chris Stangl gets a point five instead of someone else just 
because he takes the scripts.

Time: Mon, 26-Feb-2001 09:12:57 GMT     IP: 64.12.101.163


:
Why I am bitching:
:
I think No Shame is an amazing thing, as a show, concept and 
:
forum.  I would hate to see the ideals that make it such ruined 
:
by some unchecked conceit on the part of a small group of 
:
people.  I don't think that No Shame exists to facilitate a 
:
popularity contest.

I think the board members' decisions are true to those ideals.  I 
don't know what "unchecked conceit" you're talking about.  Nor do 
I know what you mean by a popularity contest.

:
As far as I know neither Chris Stangle nor any of the other board 
:
members invented No Shame.  Furthermore, I am fairly sure that if 
:
Chris didnt do it someone else would. Oh wait, I have proof: 
:

Yeah, someone else would do it, and then I wouldn't mind if that 
someone else gave himself preference in forming the order.  But 
someone else doesn't do it.  Chris does.  And he does it pretty 
fairly, and sometimes he has to make hard decisions about what 
pieces to turn away.  And I guess I really don't understand what 
your point is.

:
Not that I dont appreciate the work these folks do, Im just 
:
saying it doesnt make them infallable and it doesn't make them 
:
the only foundation of No Shame.  Also if they cant take some 
:
critisism, or 'bitching' than maybe they should pass on the 
:
responsibility.
:

Who said they're infallible?  

I think they take your criticism pretty well, actually.

:
Bullshit, there are many other places that allow untalented 
:
amateur scriptwriters/performers to be seen by an audience, the 
:
street for instance, or even the back of a truck.  Its the 
:
untalented amateur scriptwriters/performers and the audience that 
:
make the board members possible and therefore make the show 
:
possible.
:

Then go perform on the street.  But if you want to do No Shame, 
then the audience you get is there because the board rents the 
space, advertises, organizes the performances, takes people's 
money, finds someone to do lights, etc.  I think there ought to 
be a couple of perks that go along with that; I think the 
privilege of having the last place in the order or taking your 
own point five before someone else's is a pretty small perk.

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 00:23:43 GMT     IP: 128.255.55.79

:Well, I'm glad the 2 stars of Chris' extra pieces are so in 
favor 
:
of them.
:

Fuck you.


1st, your piece wasn't 15 seconds; it was short, but it wasn't 
a 
:
stage cross or a blackout or whatever. .
:

   "15 seconds" was the time estimate in the first post made 
on this subject.  All use of it afterward, at least on my part, 
has been in refering to this.  Were you the man/woman who 
wrote that first post?  Well, then...


:
And as far all the stress of having to show up a whole 12 
minutes 
:
before the pieces are taken and then having to write down 
the 
:
titles on a piece of paper justifying you having extra spots in 
:
the order...

Once again, fuck you.  And let me here repost what I wrote 
immediately following anything in that vein:

(Note:This is a justification for his actual factual piece getting 
:
in each week.  For his little piece getting in each week, see 
:
paragraph 1 and truths 2 and 3.)


   I have things to say, now.
   I was defending Stangl's litle pieces because I honestly 
love them and not because he puts me in them.  Chris has 
from time to time said to me, "The order she's a full, Arlen"  
and I have said to him, "But a Chris!  It's a '15 seconds' long!"
   On account of I love them so much.
   And so does God.
   The "unchecked conceit" I was displaying in my last post 
appears sporadically and was supposed to feel over the top 
and was funny to me and and and it surprises me that you 
would think it was serious.

   Arlen

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 00:29:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.55.79

   I had more to respond to, was going to do it post at a time.  
Will now sum up.  Stop twisting what I say until it sounds 
sinister.   If you're going to repeat something I've posted 
have the decency to quote me directly, following up with your 
analysis of what it means thereafter should you find it 
necessary.
   I defended Chris's quality of piece because asking why he 
gets to do a piece connects with saying "I don't like his 
piece" in my brain.

   I am Arlen.  Hear me ovulate.

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 00:41:53 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.53

And he does it pretty 
:
fairly, and sometimes he has to make hard decisions about what 
:
pieces to turn away.  And I guess I really don't understand what 
:
your point is.
:
Okay, Chris has to make a hard decision to turn people away or 
not every week. Sometimes he lets people in and there are 19 
pieces, other weeks he cuts it off at 15. This problem of show 
length has plagued No Shame for years. There needs to be a 
decision about how many pieces are allowed into the show, and 
that rule needs to be constantly applied. The people who were 
turned away last week apparently did not get in because their 
pieces were more than a page long. Well, next week if four or 
five people turn in 15 second pieces after the order is full will 
they be accomidated? It cannot be logically and fairly argued 
that Chris Stangl can have two pieces and turn away anyone else 
with a short piece. This could cause a long show or many annoyed 
people. A show limit should be set and enforced, that way people 
will have NO REASON to be upset.
:

:
Then go perform on the street.  But if you want to do No Shame, 
:
then the audience you get is there because the board rents the 
:
space, advertises, organizes the performances, takes people's 
:
money, finds someone to do lights, etc.  I think there ought to 
:
be a couple of perks that go along with that; I think the 
:
privilege of having the last place in the order or taking your 
:
own point five before someone else's is a pretty small perk.

As far as I know the board members do not reach into their own 
pockets to pay for the space, the audience does that. The board 
does do important things to make the show run but this doesn't 
mean that they're entitled to perks. The board members are ASKED 
to be on the board, not forced. They accept the responsibilities 
of performing all board duties, they do not, or should not, 
expect extras. The problem with the idea of perks is where does 
it stop? If one board member gets two pieces in, what if another 
board member would like to do the same and so on? The board 
members get in free and, I think, they get a lot of respect from 
the audience members and they get to perform their pieces. That 
seems like a fine number of perks. Exploiting their power, 
however minor it may seem to anyone else, should not be one of 
those perks. Chris Stangl can have as many pieces as he wants in 
the show, as long as everyone else gets in or there are two spots 
open for his pieces. That is all.

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 00:50:31 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.53


:Fuck you...

:...Once again, fuck you.

Clever, Arlen. A well thought and meaningful rebuttle. 

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 02:14:40 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.98

:
:
:Fuck you...
:

:
:...Once again, fuck you.
:

:
Clever, Arlen. A well thought and meaningful rebuttle. 
:

:
Yeah, really. I suppose it's your prerogative to be as nasty as 
you want, but I doubt many people have been persuaded to see 
things from another angle by having someone swear at them. 
Asshole.

Love,
Da 

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 02:51:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23


:

:
   The "unchecked conceit" I was displaying in my last post 
:
appears sporadically and was supposed to feel over the top 
:
and was funny to me and and and it surprises me that you 
:
would think it was serious.
:

I was not referring to your reply when I spoke of unchecked 
conceit. 

:
   I was defending Stangl's litle pieces because I honestly 
:
love them and not because he puts me in them.  Chris has 
:
from time to time said to me, "The order she's a full, Arlen"  
:
and I have said to him, "But a Chris!  It's a '15 seconds' long!"
:
   On account of I love them so much.
:
   And so does God.

I just want to point out that no one, or at least not me, was 
attacking his pieces specifically.  I remember when I first came 
to No Shame (please imagine a waterfall or some other pastoral 
scene with the image of Chris performing in slow motion 
superimposed on it, and imagine some really sappy music) it was a 
work by Chris himself that really impressed me and made me want 
to come back.  I have seen pieces after that show that have 
impressed me equally by newcomers and even, sigh, by Arlen.  
However, I have also seen pieces by Chris that where hard to sit 
through, the point being he does not make the show every night, 
it would be nice to have some variance and see something new at 
the end of a show.  On a side note the first piece of his that I 
saw wasnt the last or the first, so Chris doesnt need these spots 
anyway. Lastly, the tone of your (Arlen) responses make it all 
the more fun to argue the point and makes the original objects of 
the argument look all that more guilty of something.  I had more 
points to make but I think they have already been made.  

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 03:31:08 GMT     IP: 152.163.206.177

:Okay, Chris has to make a hard decision to turn people away or 
:not every week. Sometimes he lets people in and there are 19 
:pieces, other weeks he cuts it off at 15. This problem of show 
:length has plagued No Shame for years. There needs to be a 
:decision about how many pieces are allowed into the show, and 
:that rule needs to be constantly applied. The people who were 
:turned away last week apparently did not get in because their 
:pieces were more than a page long. Well, next week if four or 
:five people turn in 15 second pieces after the order is full 
will 
:they be accomidated? It cannot be logically and fairly argued 
:that Chris Stangl can have two pieces and turn away anyone else 
:with a short piece. This could cause a long show or many annoyed 
:people. A show limit should be set and enforced, that way people 
:will have NO REASON to be upset.

If you got what you wanted it would probably mean that more 
people would be turned away each week.  Strict fairness would be 
enforced by rigidly sticking to a limit, when there might have 
been another short piece or two slipped in at Chris's 
discretion.  I don't see how that would make anyone happy.

:As far as I know the board members do not reach into their own 
:pockets to pay for the space, the audience does that. 

I didn't mean they pay for it themselves. They do arrange for 
there to be space and arrange for that space to be paid for.

:The board 
:does do important things to make the show run but this doesn't 
:mean that they're entitled to perks. The board members are ASKED 
:to be on the board, not forced. They accept the responsibilities 
:of performing all board duties, they do not, or should not, 
:expect extras. The problem with the idea of perks is where does 
:it stop? If one board member gets two pieces in, what if another 
:board member would like to do the same and so on? The board 
:members get in free and, I think, they get a lot of respect from 
:the audience members and they get to perform their pieces. That 
:seems like a fine number of perks. 

That doesn't seem like any perks at all.  That seems like what 
every performer gets.  And by my argument, which you have not 
addressed, they don't really get any perks.  It's fair.

:Exploiting their power, 
:however minor it may seem to anyone else, should not be one of 
:those perks. Chris Stangl can have as many pieces as he wants in 
:the show, as long as everyone else gets in or there are two 
spots 
:open for his pieces. That is all.

I still contend that the board does not exploit its power.  I'm 
pretty sure that a board member's piece got turned away recently 
because she wasn't there early enough -- someone correct me here 
if I'm mistaken.  I still contend that because he has to rely on 
his own ability to judge the length of the show and because he 
has to draw the line somewhere, Chris acted fairly when he turned 
away point fives after the first one on Friday.  And I think it's 
fair that Chris was first in line for point fives.  

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 04:06:19 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.108


:
I still contend that the board does not exploit its power.  I'm 
:
pretty sure that a board member's piece got turned away 
recently 
:
because she wasn't there early enough -- someone correct 
me here 
:
if I'm mistaken.  

Well, I'm the only board member who could be described 
accurately and non-insultingly as "she," and while it hasn't 
happened recently, i have in fact been turned away for not 
being there early enough.  This regularly happens to Chris 
Okiishi, mostly due to the fact that he's out playing doctor so 
much that he can't get there early.  He gets no preferential 
treatment just because he's on the board.
 
in fact, I propose that those of you who are critical of the 
number of pieces Stangl gets in leave "The Board" out of this 
entirely.  This is not an issue about the board, this is an 
issue about an individual who happens to be on the board.
I have not fully developed my opinion on the matter, so i won't 
comment on the fairness or unfairness of it, but the board in 
general is not what is in question here.

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 21:21:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.19

WOW!

Okay.

First of all, I would like to dispell the notion that the board 
plays favorites when taking the order.  Paul Rust got turned 
away for crying out loud and EVERYBODY loves Paul Rust.  
And yes, I have seen what could be construed as the 
opposite happening where Neil Campbell showed up late 
but still got in the order.  But Balls also gave word that he 
would be late and gave his piece to someone to turn in for 
him.  He took responsibility for getting his piece in.  And that 
is what it comes down to.  IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO 
GET YOUR PIECE IN THE ORDER, IT IS NOT THE 
RESPONSIBILITY OF THE BOARD MEMBERS.   This is 
actually a common practice.  To use Paul Rust as an 
example again, he had a person who was going to be in his 
piece turn in his Judy Winslow sketch.  He actually showed 
up in time to turn it in himself but he had his ass covered in 
case he didn't.  To show what a loser I am, I show up at 
about 10.  IF YOU SHOWED UP AT ABOUT TEN AFTER TEN 
AND YOU STILL DIDN'T GET INTO THE ORDER THEN IT IS 
YOUR FAULT FOR LETTING ALL THOSE PEOPLE AHEAD 
OF YOU.

Just so you know, the capital letters denote emphasis, not 
me shouting angrily.

But the real beef of the matter is that of Stangl having more 
than one piece in the order while others were turned down.  
No, Stangl's point five piece wasn't fifteen seconds or less.  
But it was definitely under a minute.  Was yours?  And I saw 
the piece that Kovacs had turned down when he wanted a 
second one in the order.  I was going to be in it.  It was short 
but it definitely was over a minute.

I'm not giving one minute as a cut off point for point fives as 
that is not up to me.  But performers, myself especially 
included, can't always be counted on to faithfully tell the 
order taker how long a piece is.  This is a judgement call on 
Chris' part.  My piece last week was about half a page in 
length and was about three minutes, maybe.  The piece that 
Kovac's had turned down spilled over onto a second page.  
We don't have the time for Stangl to read over each and 
every page of each and every piece and make an accurate 
judgment.  No Shame isn't an exact science.  I don't even 
want to call it a science.  And if it was an exact science it 
would suck.  What we can expect Chris to do is take a quick 
look at the pieces and make a judgment based on what he 
sees.  And that is what he does.

Time: Tue, 27-Feb-2001 23:30:27 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

And I saw 
:
the piece that Kovacs had turned down when he wanted a 
:
second one in the order.  I was going to be in it.  It was short 
:
but it definitely was over a minute.

The piece Dan's referring to is something I asked him to do a few 
weeks ago, and may ask him to do again sometime if I get out of 
the habit of writing a new piece less than a week in advance.  I 
went in with two short pieces, hoping I could get away with doing 
them both if the total time was under three minutes.  But, I had 
a favorite picked in advance (The Jehovah's Witness thing I hope 
you remember) because I knew this was highly unlikely.

The piece some of you other folks are referring to was a solid 
three lines of type that I asked him to slide in this week if the 
show wasn't full.  But, all of that type was non-descript action 
about "a brief interchange," which left Chris having to make a 
decision knowing that no real time-frame was specified.  He 
didn't put this in the order because he was turning other 
people's first pieces away, and didn't think it was fair to give 
me a second.

But do you see me getting my panties tied in a knot about all of 
this?  I'm only entering this little debate because you people've 
decided to use me as an example or a martyr to Stangl, or you 
think my name looks good flashing across your computer screens.  
If I had a problem with having my pieces turned away when the 
order is full, I would have complained the first time it 
happened, last semester.  Here's what I know;

1)  I have no problem giving up the chance to do a second piece 
for the sake of giving someone else the chance to do a first 
piece.  That's only fair.

2)  However spontateous of a show No Shame is, it needs someone 
to get things organized.  That someone is the board.  And, at 
least as far as taking the order is concerned, that someone is 
Stangl.

3)  The board commits just about every Friday night and probably 
quite a bit of time elsewhere to giving us a chance to do things 
and people a chance to see us do what we do.  None of the board 
members get paid for any of the work they do for us.

4)  Stangl's done a second piece every week for as long as I've 
been doing No Shame, and nobody's said anything about it.  The 
difference this week is that he didn't put any other .5s in the 
order, even though there were several pieces waiting to be turned 
down.  As far as I know this hasn't happened before.  Usually, 
Stangl does what he can to fit a few extra spaces into the order 
if there's a couple of extra pieces.  Every week, I've seen him 
try to squeeze that one latecomer into the order.  Since, for one 
week, he didn't make this gesture, people are throwing a hissie 
fit about him geving himself a second piece.  Sure, this is 
unfair, but it's only happened once.  Once occurence might just 
mean he had a shitty day.

Now, I don't have the time, but I'm going to get around to 
writing about the SHOW in a while.  Would anyone care to join me?

Tom Kovacs

Time: Wed, 28-Feb-2001 00:07:27 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.146

:Now, I don't have the time, but I'm going to get around to 
:writing about the SHOW in a while.  Would anyone care to join me?

No. Thanks, though.

Time: Wed, 28-Feb-2001 01:06:44 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.93

:do you see me getting my panties tied in a knot about all of 
:this?  

It's cool you're willing to wear your transvestism on your 
sleeve, that takes guts. Right on!