Time: Sun, 01-Apr-2001 22:19:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.86

Since I've been bitched out in the past for saying things about 
skits I don't remember well or don't have much to say about, I 
won't. If yours is one of them, I apologize in advance.

0.5  "The Dream Girl," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A discuss the merits of having an alcoholic girlfriend; 
comedy sketch]
I haven't been to NS in a while, but I get the feeling that 
these skits are a traditional opener. I thought it was 
hilariously distasteful, but didn't understand the use of 
the "deliberately speaking profound drunk" guise by Chris 
Stangle. Just slurring would have seemed more effective to me.

2.  "Son of Nelson," by Al Angel, Virgie Woolf, --&-- Noam 
Chomsky:  A Angel, nearly everyone else who has ever 
written or performed at No Shame and was in the audience.  
[A falls down, pandemonium ensues; repeat.  A finds 
quarter; comedy sketch]
It was pointless and that much better for it. The physical humor 
was great, as was Al's complete and total obliviousness to the 
situation. The quarter at the end, while it was a wonderful 
irony after Al failed to notice all of those people having a 
virtual orgy while he was lying on the ground, almost gave the 
piece too much closure. It did make a good last laugh, though.

3.  "800 Feet Deep," by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild.  [D 
whimpers, cries, and eventually leaves the stage; 
patheto-comedy blackout]
I felt too bad for him to laugh at first, and after I got over 
that, I was just waiting for something to happen. I found it a 
bit anticlimactic.

5.  "The Deadlies, Part Three:  The Yellow Frog," by Melissa 
Crownover:  JC Luxton, A Burton, A Galbraith.  [AG lassos 
and gets pizza, AB repays debt to JC by being hogtied; 
comedy sketch.]
The whole situation was so absurd that I was in an odd state of 
morbidly amused disbelief. The lassoing had nothing to do with 
anything, but that was perfect--as someone else said, the 
whole "I have a new skill and want to show it off but I am not 
really skilled" thing worked. The fact that the guys were 
watching the Golden Girls just seemed a little bit out of place; 
yeah, it should have been funny, but it was so underplayed that 
it just didn't go anywhere.
The hogtying bit just reminded me so much of something that my 
brother (in 8th grade) would do that I couldn't stop laughing. 
Maybe it's true that little boys never do grow up!

6.  "Ken Interrupted," by Tom Kovacs:  T Kovacs, A Galbraith.  
[Despite disapproval by the light booth, T delivers a 
Romeo-and-Juliet-based monologue to a Barbie; comedy 
sketch.]
Loved the interaction with the Light Booth Guy, although I have 
to admit that it was a little overused at my high school and 
therefore didn't surprise me that much. (We had a 
designated "God mike.") I wish Tom would have enunciated a 
little more to play off the whole Shakespeare thing; 
Shakespearian acting is always so overdone, and there was a 
wonderful joke lost there.

7.  "Genre, Pt. II:  WESTERN," by Arlen Lawson:  A Lawson.  
[In a Western setting, A reveals the beauty of an 
unconscious Indian, ever the butt of local jokes; serio-comic 
monologue.]
It was a bizarre tale he told, and I wasn't sure at a lot of 
times whether I should be laughing or crying. Arlen's skits 
usually do that to me, and he does an excellent job of it. The 
totally unrelated side tracks all came together (or mostly did) 
in the end, while keeping the skit still a little too fragmented 
to quite put together. I love a skit that keeps me on my toes--
or rather, the edge of my seat. Kudos to Arlen.

8.  "ImproviZe This!" by Jeffrey L. Hansen:  JL Hansen, M 
Hansen, D Fairchild, S Griffin, M Cassady, JC Luxton.  [Most 
of the aforementioned receive roles and motivations, then 
improvise; improvisational comedy bit.]
Sex humor is far too easy a thing to resort to in improvisation. 
I didn't think it was very creative or entertaining. The 
announcer's obvious embarrassment over this fact didn't make up 
for it at all, either.

9.  "African Violence," by Aprille Clarke:  A Clarke, C Stangl.  
[Woman eats African violet, man euthanizes dogs, pain 
ensues; serio-comedy sketch.]
As usual, April came up with a beautifully disturbing piece. It 
was particularly effective that I could not tell that either of 
them was telling the same story until the end; but there was a 
little inconsistency about the scissor hands. I'm not sure if 
that was intentional or not: was the boy just so disturbed that 
he actually remembered having scissor hands, whereas his sister 
knew he hadn't had them? The fascination of both characters with 
death could have been horribly disturbing, but it became 
something beautiful at the same time. Kudos to April.

10.  "Chemistry Sucks," by Erin King:  M Brooks, S Griffin, P 
Rust, M Cassady, E King.  [All but E represent variously 
charged sub-atomic particles; E describes; comedy sketch.]
That was EXACTLY what I needed after studying for my chem exam 
all night prior to going to No Shame. Wonderful physical humor 
and overall weirdness. Thank you so much!

12.  "Four Seconds in the Rectory," by Paul Rust:  P Rust, M 
Cassady, T Sherwood.  [M-as-priest masturbates, realizes 
source of arousal is a porn-star parishoner (T), mutual 
horror ensues; comedy sketch.]
This piece made me think even as I was laughing: why is it that 
people do things like that in shared moments of epiphany? Way to 
use humor as a brain-teaser. And even a commentary on the way 
the human "embarassment" function. Way to go, Paul.

14.  "The John the Baptist Blanket, or:  GOD!  Get Out of that 
Machine!" by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Burton, A Lawson, M 
Cassady, N"B" Campbell.  [AB recounts an old-testament 
story of dancing and violence; N"B" dances under the 
influence of drugs; C takes off his clothes which made me 
not be able to pay attention to what he was saying; AL and M 
describe their S--&--M activites; comedy sketch.]
My immediate reaction to Chris taking off his clothes was, "Oh, 
man, another vehicle for Chris's blatant exhibitionism." But it 
was artfully done and actually added to the skit, even though he 
spent the whole time talking about masturbation and gradually 
edging that blanket lower and lower.... (Yes, I WAS looking, and 
if you don't like it, go read someone else's review!) Although I 
was a tad distracted by the thought that someone would put his 
ass on that dirty floor.... I was a little disappointed that the 
three plot lines didn't really come together in the end, but 
even so, it made sense together in a strange way. I admit that I 
got a little lost by the end.

15.  "The Stare," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:  N"B" Campbell.  
[illuminated from below, sitting upstage right, N"B" delivers 
a monologue.  I apologize for not being able to provide more 
details; dramatic monologue.]
This was intensely disturbing. But it made me think a lot: my 
immediate reaction was to feel empathy for the girl whose car he 
was sitting in. She must have been scared shitless. But then I 
thought about the fact that everyone has a story, and may even 
have a good motivation for his "crazy" actions. And sexual 
tension does funny things to people in terms of remembering 
traumatic events. Neil did an excellent job of making the 
situation real, too; and the uplighting was very effective. It 
put you in the mood to be disturbed--camping as a kid when the 
counselors are trying to scare you and succeeding.
Making it a monologue instead of having the girl onstage was 
extremely effective in making me think about Neil's character's 
side of things; had the girl physically been there, even saying 
very little with Neil still saying his thoughts, the idea would 
have been ruined.
Kudos to Neil.

Time: Mon, 02-Apr-2001 06:03:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23

Announcements, order:  Aprille Clarke, Neil "Balls" 
Campbell
-I didnt feel like they were reading the order, I mean it just 
lacked realism.  The announcement part was fine, that was 
heartfelt and beautifully delivered.  I think they might need to 
work on the acting, you know, BE the order, FEEL as the order 
would feel etc.  Or maybe Ive just never seen anyone critique the 
announcements, order part before.
0.5  "The Dream Girl," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A discuss the merits of having an alcoholic girlfriend; 
comedy sketch]
-I winced, I laughed, I kicked the person in front of me in the 
head, I laughed some more, and then I felt a little sick.
1.  "Union Bar Mid-Winter Contest 2001 aka Tits --&-- Ass Meat 
Show!!!" by Jenny Stoke --&-- Erin King:  J Stoke, E King, A 
Galbraith.  [J and E get fully clothed, accompanied by Bjork 
and A; comedy sketch]
-Overall this sketch was funny.  What bothered me though, was 
that as they got clothed they where still striking sexual poses 
but the announcer said stuff about self respect and 
intellectualism, etc.  I thought it would have been more fitting 
for them to be making poses that reflected that.  
2.  "Son of Nelson," by Al Angel, Virgie Woolf, --&-- Noam 
Chomsky:  A Angel, nearly everyone else who has ever 
written or performed at No Shame and was in the audience.  
[A falls down, pandemonium ensues; repeat.  A finds 
quarter; comedy sketch]
-The best part was when B and S did that thing with C.  Then F 
and X where doing that other thing in the corner.  Then the 
jumping and flailing of Y was amazing.  Though Q's performance is 
what really made an impression on me.  I did think that S N M 's 
performances could have used a little pre show rehearsal. 
3.  "800 Feet Deep," by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild.  [D 
whimpers, cries, and eventually leaves the stage; 
patheto-comedy blackout]
-This was either really bad or really good, I can't make up my 
mind.  Although I guess that sort of reaction in itself is a good 
thing.
4.  "Atrophy Wife," by Mark Hansen:  Steph Braun.  [While 
talking on the telephone, S reveals her gradual loss of body; 
serio-comic monologue]
-I agree that this was some great acting, sounded/seemed very 
much like a phone conversation.
5.  "The Deadlies, Part Three:  The Yellow Frog," by Melissa 
Crownover:  JC Luxton, A Burton, A Galbraith.  [AG lassos 
and gets pizza, AB repays debt to JC by being hogtied; 
comedy sketch.]
-This just didnt seem very natural on stage like something was 
overdone or underdone.  Something just didnt work but I dont 
think it was necessarily the writing or idea and I did laugh a 
few times.
6.  "Ken Interrupted," by Tom Kovacs:  T Kovacs, A Galbraith.  
[Despite disapproval by the light booth, T delivers a 
Romeo-and-Juliet-based monologue to a Barbie; comedy 
sketch.]
-This was good.  Unfortunately, I dont have anything to say 
about  it that hasnt already been said.
6.5.  "The Tale of the Giggly Bumblefucker," by Andy 
Plumshower:  N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.  [N"B" and M 
reveal the true source of Dr. Chris Oki Ishi's massive libido; 
comedy sketch.]
-Poor Okiishi, was he even there that night?  And if the question 
of whether it was a real x-ray has to be asked, Id rather ask was 
it a real x-ray of Okiishi?
7.  "Genre, Pt. II:  WESTERN," by Arlen Lawson:  A Lawson.  
[In a Western setting, A reveals the beauty of an 
unconscious Indian, ever the butt of local jokes; serio-comic 
monologue.]
-Its been awhile since Arlen has done a full length performance.  
I had wondered when he would treat us all again to his particular 
concoction of profound sorrowful wit.
8.  "ImproviZe This!" by Jeffrey L. Hansen:  JL Hansen, M 
Hansen, D Fairchild, S Griffin, M Cassady, JC Luxton.  [Most 
of the aforementioned receive roles and motivations, then 
improvise; improvisational comedy bit.]
-This was for the most part, genuinely improvised I assume.  Its 
an interesting thing to do, but perhaps the actual 
improvisational part could have been shorter, thus reducing the 
awkward moments, or perhaps the host (?) could have appeared more 
often to shape the direction of the improvisations.  Other than 
that, there were some very funny parts, and some really lame 
parts.
9.  "African Violence," by Aprille Clarke:  A Clarke, C Stangl.  
[Woman eats African violet, man euthanizes dogs, pain 
ensues; serio-comedy sketch.]
-This was the best piece I have ever seen that Aprille has 
written.  I was very impressed.  I mean Aprille's pieces are 
usually good.  This one was just amazing. 
10.  "Chemistry Sucks," by Erin King:  M Brooks, S Griffin, P 
Rust, M Cassady, E King.  [All but E represent variously 
charged sub-atomic particles; E describes; comedy sketch.]
-I laugh even thinking back to this one. The Proton was 
particularly excellent. 
11.  "Sock 'em, Rock 'em," by Spooge Spencer Griffin:  S 
Griffin, M Hansen, P Rust, D Fairchild, T Kovacs.  [S, M, and 
P use sock puppets to tell tales; they are accused of 
plagiarism; comedy sketch.]
Someone already put their two cents in for this one.
12.  "Four Seconds in the Rectory," by Paul Rust:  P Rust, M 
Cassady, T Sherwood.  [M-as-priest masturbates, realizes 
source of arousal is a porn-star parishoner (T), mutual 
horror ensues; comedy sketch.]
-This was somewhat funny but not one of the best Paul pieces.
13.  "A.A.," by Dan Katz:  A Clarke, N"B" Campbell, D 
Fairchild, M Cassady.  [Several Bobs attend an A.A. meeting 
with varying contributions; comedy sketch.]
-I dont remember exactly how this went.  I remember N"B"'s part 
was very funny and I remember that the last part was something 
like, "I'm a human being" but thats all I remember.
14.  "The John the Baptist Blanket, or:  GOD!  Get Out of that 
Machine!" by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Burton, A Lawson, M 
Cassady, N"B" Campbell.  [AB recounts an old-testament 
story of dancing and violence; N"B" dances under the 
influence of drugs; C takes off his clothes which made me 
not be able to pay attention to what he was saying; AL and M 
describe their S--&--M activites; comedy sketch.]
-Strange, I spent and awful lot of time thinking about Chris's 
butt on that dirty stage as well.  This was not the most 
wonderful Stangl piece but certainly not the least exciting.  
Chris's nudity made up for anything the piece lacked. Especially 
the tease of the blanket going lower and lower.  But the best 
part is what Chris thought of when he masturbated, that he was 
thinking of something beautiful rather than perverted.  The three 
pieces didnt seem to go together all that well but perhaps it was 
only because I was focused on Chris's muscles clenching with 
every breath.  Oh, and I did vagely notice there was some other 
people on the stage and the blanket was orange.
15.  "The Stare," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:  N"B" Campbell.  
[illuminated from below, sitting upstage right, N"B" delivers 
a monologue.  I apologize for not being able to provide more 
details; dramatic monologue.]
-I havnt seen a piece like this from Neil in awhile either.  But 
I always lose something of these end pieces when they are too 
serious.

Time: Mon, 02-Apr-2001 20:30:47 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.39

.5 Dream Girl: I like how this flipped our expectations of a 
punchline by giving us a last line we should all be ashamed of 
laughing at.
1. Union Bar: a funny enough premise, but went on a little too 
long, and the musical accompaniment was unfortunately 
inappropriate. If you don't want to arouse us, you shouldn't 
choose a vocalist whose voice is the embodiment of sex.
2. Son of Nelson: I was in this, so I don't know what it looked 
like. I don't know if I understand why we were running around, but 
it was fun.
3. 800 Feet: The idea is really great, to have a person just sit 
there and cry basically strips the script down to essence, no need 
for words or anything. The problem was that the cry was too 
obviously forced and it made a false experience out of what should 
have been a genuine one.
4. Atrophy: That Madonna song Till Death Do Us Part is track four 
on Like a Prayer, and comes highly recommended.
5. Deadlies, Pt. 3: Funny in a sitcom sort of way, great 
performances and snappy dialogue. This is not a criticism.
6. Ken: Romeo and Juliet is an all-too-familiar target, and this 
take wasn't all that unique, though I did like the idea of Juliet 
literally becoming an object, and that object having enough free 
will to commit suicide. Note: if your friends are going to throw 
props from the catwalk, tell them to stay up there until your 
piece is finished, otherwise it's really distracting.
6.5 Giggly: very funny, and not much else to say about that.
7. WESTERN: I didn't really pay attention cuz I was preparing for 
the next one, but what I did catch pretty much confirmed what 
Arlen said afterward, that it was a performance piece that turned 
into a reading, and therefore it was hard to stay focused on it.
8. Improv: good group of improvisers had to pretend they weren't, 
was sort of funny, but should've ended sooner.
I'll finish later.

Time: Tue, 03-Apr-2001 00:36:35 GMT     IP: 205.188.200.38

9. African Violence: My favorite of Aprille's ever, at once hysterically silly and gut-wrenchingly
sad. Plus I think dogs being put to sleep is inherently sad, and I was glad it was treated with
humor but some seriousness as well. The synthesis of the two voices at the end was perfect, as
was the ambiguity of the final statement(s).
10. Chemistry Sucks: See, now this worked really well. It was short enough not to overstay its
welcome, was cute without being cloying and provided a curious and comical first image that had
a beautiful payoff in the end. Yay!
11. Sock 'em: I may a bit prejudiced as an actor in this, but I enjoyed it very much. The absurd
dialogue and pop culture wordplay, as well as the musical accompaniment and sock puppets, were
great additions that didn't detract from the storytelling. What did bother me was the two cents
commentary that would be funny to the small portion of the audience that reads the boardroom,
and was so obvious it just wasn't funny. 
12. Four Seconds: Another short sketch that didn't overstay its welcome, but was still a one-joke
sketch, and coming from Paul felt a little slight. Very funny, but forgettable.
13. A.A.: a comedy sketch without blatant jokes is neither unfunny nor unusual (see Crownover's
piece), it still must contain interesting and/or funny characters, and I felt that the only quirky thing
about these characters was that they were all named Bob, and except for the fact that there is a
drinking game called "Hi, Bob," it didn't really relate enough to the sketch to make it inherently
funny. If the overall message we were supposed to go away with from the last Bob ("I'm a human
being") was that these dependency labels are condescending and deny these folks of their
humanity, then we should be given characters with the same.
14. John the Baptist: what's always striking about Stangl's stuff is how he can relate these
seemingly completely unrelated events so that you can clearly see (depending on if they work or
not) how they relate. This was effective, I think, and imaginatively so: the drug-addled dancing of
a, well, druggie and his conversation with two s -&- m beach bums mirrored the story of Salome's
attempts to seduce and decapitate Johnny Baptist as reflected by a naked masturbating man in a
blanket. Get it? It's one of those things that's hard to describe without seeing it. I know that's a
cop-out, but it's an honest one.
15. The Stare: While listening to this, I couldn't help but wonder if it was inspired by a recent
episode of The Daily Show with a special report on the world's largest raccoon, who is fed Little
Debbie treats by its owner (who occassionally does so by placing the food in her mouth!), and I
remember what a striking, if humorous, image this raccoon was, and how easily it could inspire a
striking monologue, whose visual complexity was beautifully contrasted by the simple image of
Neil illuminated in the corner. So, I hope I'm right. 
I hope I said enough about everybody's. If you have any more questions or stuff, you can e-mail
me, and maybe I can say more. Cool?
Your pal,
Mark

Time: Tue, 03-Apr-2001 04:42:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.7

NO SHAME THEATER  March 30, 2001

This was a pretty humdrum night on the whole, but with very few 
stinkers.  I am Roger Ebert and I give the night a thumbs up, if 
not enthusiastically.

0.5  "The Dream Girl," by Chris Stangl:

This skit had two punch-lines.  Both were the same kind of joke, 
a statement of something awful as punch-line.  Both made me 
laugh.  Thumbs up.

      1.  "Union Bar Mid-Winter Contest 2001 aka Tits --&-- Ass 
Meat 
      Show!!!" by Jenny Stoke --&-- Erin King:

This skit had one joke.  It also had a moral, but this moral was 
convoluted.  It was trying to say something, but nothing new and 
nothing that really needed to be said.  It was an excuse to stand 
on a table in underwear. (I can't remember what they were wearing 
at first.  Was it underwear?)  I have nothing against standing on 
a table in underwear.  Regrettably, thumbs down.

      2.  "Son of Nelson," by Al Angel, Virgie Woolf, --&-- Noam 
      Chomsky:  

How could this have been fun or funny on paper?  I can't imagine 
it being fun when Al, Virgie and Noam wrote it, but it was fun to 
watch.  I enjoyed watching an orgy and runfest.  I enjoyed that, 
amid the mayhem, Chris and Arlen just drank.  Thumbs up.

3.   "800 Feet Deep," by Dan Fairchild:

Two No Shames have passed without Dan Fairchild writing a single 
word of dialogue.  I hope this is not a semester-long theme.  
Those get tiresome.  This skit did make me smile.  Thumbs up.

4.   "Atrophy Wife," by Mark Hansen: 

The title of this skit is funny.  The piece was weird and good, 
but I can't remember the content well.  My memory indicates 
positive feelings, though, so it still gets a thumbs up.

      5.  "The Deadlies, Part Three:  The Yellow Frog," by 
Melissa 
      Crownover:

This skit was a fun ride.  Thumbs up.  However, like a one night 
stand, as fun as it was, it was also, in the grand scheme of all 
things, worthless.  Maybe this is a bad thing to say because the 
criticism is worthless.  It is a bad thing to say.  The criticism 
is worthless.  But JC is usually pretty impressive as a writer 
and this was not.  It was just a one night stand.

6.   "Ken Interrupted," by Tom Kovacs:

Right off the bat.  Thumbs down.  This skit was not a fun ride.  
This skit was a long ride down a straight, paved road through cow 
country with speed traps set up.  I have seen Tom Kovacs do 
better.

      6.5.  "The Tale of the Giggly Bumblefucker," by Audrey 
      Plumshower:

Thumbs up.  Let's pretend that I, as one person, am allowed to 
raise both thumbs.  Two thumbs up.  Was Chris Okiishi not there?  
I assumed he was.  I love that Chris Okiishi.

7.   "Genre, Pt. II:  WESTERN," by Arlen Lawson:

I think Arlen is a good writer, but I think he gets away with a 
lot of weak things because he has an attractive face and an 
interesting voice.  I don't mean these things as hurtful, and I 
do enjoy Arlen's writing, but people write "if there is one 
reason to go to No Shame on a friday nite, its to experience that 
which is Arlen Lawson_ if there are two reasons to go to No Shame 
on a Friday night, its to see Arlen...and Okiishi."  That's not 
true.
The skit gets a thumbs up, though.  I feel stupid saying that, 
now.  I don't agree with Mark on this.  I really don't think that 
this skit could have been made anything but cheesy by performing 
it more.  


8.   "ImproviZe This!" by Jeffrey L. Hansen:

I don't have enough information about the workings of this skit 
to make a fair call.  It was fun, though.  Thumbs up.


      9.  "African Violence," by Aprille Clarke:  

Aprille is another writer who gets a little too much praise, once 
again probably because of an attractive face and voice.  Also 
once again, I do enjoy her writing.  I don't remember much about 
this skit, but I do remember being awed.  Thumbs up.

10."Chemistry Sucks," by Erin King:

This was very fun. What else is there to say?  What else there is 
to say: Thumbs up.

11.  "Sock 'em, Rock 'em," by Spooge Spencer Griffin:

This was very fun.  I have been reading the board room, and I 
thought the Two Cents joke was funny.  Thumbs up.

12.  "Four Seconds in the Rectory," by Paul Rust:

This was fun, but not very fun.  I was expecting something better 
out of Paul Rust after last week.  By the way, I wanted to say 
something about Paul's last week, but didn't have anything to say 
about anything else.  I'll write it here.  It was a very good and 
very funny skit, but the switch to serious at the end, if 
intended that way was not a good example of the funny to serious 
switch.  For one thing, I don't think it was supposed to be a 
funny to serious switch.  It was still funny at the end, in a 
different way, and wouldn't have worked any other way.  It would 
have felt cheesy as an actual switch.  For two things, when Paul 
has attempted the funny to serious switch, it has flopped.  For 
three things, do we really want to see MORE of this switch at No 
Shame?  I don't.  Last week's:  Thumbs way up.  This week's:  
thumbs kind of up. 

13.  "A.A.," by Dan Katz:

This was not a joy to watch, but it wasn't a chore to sit 
through.  I do not know what to give it, and I don't remember 
enough of it to comment anyway.

      14.  "The John the Baptist Blanket, or:  GOD!  Get Out of 
that 
      Machine!" by Chris Stangl:

This was a joy to watch.  Cut and paste what I wrote for JC's.  
Except in this case I get the feeling I might be missing 
something.  It is fun to see Chris S. writing a skit again.  It 
is fun to see Chris S. masturbate.  Thumbs up!

15.  "The Stare," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:

I zoned out during this.  It was the end of the night and I was 
tired.  I came back in for the very end and, even without the 
rest of the skit backing it up, was chilled.  So does it say good 
things about the writing that I was chilled anyway?  Or does it 
say bad things that I zoned out in the first place.  I leave that 
thumb_ up to you.

Sam

Time: Wed, 04-Apr-2001 19:59:56 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.61

I feel bad I didn't mention these things to Aprille on Friday 
when she was fishing for announcements, so I'll post them here in 
the hopes you read them on time. Which you undoubtedly will.
TWO PLAYS IN THEATRE B THIS WEEKEND!
One is an original undergraduate play entitled, "Stalls," written 
and directed by the fun and beautiful Jane Beachy, the other is, 
"Every Afternoon," written by the fun but very unattractive 
Gertrude Stein, and directed by the devastatingly handsome but 
extremely unfun Willie Barbour (this is joke. Willie is fun.) 
Also, my Advanced Playwriting class will be having readings of 
our plays Tuesday April 17, and Tuesday April 24 (if that date is 
right.) The class meets from 2-5. If anyone is available and 
interested in reading, e-mail me or talk to me on friday, or if 
you know Sarah Greer, you can talk to her as well. But no one 
else. You got that, sonny?

Your father, who art in borreca,
Mark

Time: Wed, 04-Apr-2001 22:59:46 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

...and at what time will the two plays be happening?

Thankee,
Adam

Time: Sat, 07-Apr-2001 01:40:20 GMT     IP: 128.255.108.76

thank god, it's friday. ha.
daaaaamn!

Time: Sat, 07-Apr-2001 02:21:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.172

happening at 8 pm thurs the 5, fri the 6 and sat the 7. Go! They 
rule!

Mark

Time: Sat, 07-Apr-2001 07:22:04 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.128

As announced at No Shame tonight....

We are offering two BIG BUCK-related scholarships to a 
couple of deserving University of Iowa undergraduates.

Are you such an undergraduate?  Well...are you on the 
board, or have you ever been?  Have you won a No Shame 
scholarship before?  Have you written for No Shame at least 
once this season (or better yet, this semester)?  Well, here's 
how you apply:

Give a 10-page writing sample (not necessarily No Shame 
material but not necessarily not) to any board member or 
stick it in the No Shame box in the Theater Building.  Include 
a cover letter explaining why you're so awesome and 
deserve this award.

If you win, you will get to make out with the board member of 
your choice, provided your choice is Aaron Galbraith.  Who is 
a total slut and will make out with anybody.  Even people 
who recently barfed.

Time: Sat, 07-Apr-2001 07:26:47 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.128

Hm...that paragraph of qualifications was unclear.

You CAN win a No Shame scholarship if:  you have written at 
least once this season, preferably this semester and you are 
an undergraduate student in any degree program.

You CANNOT win a No Shame scholarship if you are or have 
ever been on the board.

You PROBABLY WILL NOT win a No Shame scholarship if 
you have ever won one before.

ahem.  Aaron says he only puts out to nice people.

Time: Sat, 07-Apr-2001 14:50:01 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.15

I don't know who has the official order, but whoever does 
may feel free to amend this half-assed putting-together I 
produced based on my memory.  Corrections and 
contributions from anyone are welcome.

Unofficial order, 4/6/01

announcements, order.

a.  "The Connisseurs," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A drink and discuss their wine-tasting methods; 
comedy sketch.]

b.  Al's trio, by Al Angel:  A Angel, M Cassady, M Hansen, C 
Stangl, A Clarke.  [MC is blind to MH's murderous lifestyle; 
comedy sketches.]

c.  Something by Alyssa Bowman:  M Cassady, D Fairchild, 
N"B" Campbell, ??? There was fat man pee, ugly babies, 
and Tom Kovacs involved.

c.m.  Two-guitar song, by ???:  ???.  [two guys play guitar 
and one sings a song; musical performance.]

d.  "The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey," by Mark 
Hansen:  M Hansen, D Fairchild, A Burton, J River, A 
Lawson.  [D is monkey, AB is monkey owner (or are 
they???), they relate to each other.  comedy sketch.]

e.  "Youth Culture Killed My Love Life," by Aprille Clarke:  A 
Clarke.  [woman bleeds pop hits; comedy sketch.]

f.  JC's plagiarism thing, by some name:  JC Luxton, A 
Burton, C Stangl.  [JC is horribly incompetent and 
ill-rehearsed and in need of constant aid, then he 
plagiarizes; comedy sketch.]

g.  Dan's army thing, by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild, A 
Galbraith.  [working sideways, the last two remaining 
soldiers discuss how to end their mission; comedy sketch.]

g.m.  "Bones," by Jamal River, aka KING TOAD:  J River, lots 
of others.  [accompanied by an extensive percussion 
section, J performs a hit song from his hit album; musical 
performance.]

h.  "Genre Part III:  Science Fiction," by Arlen Lawson:  A 
Lawson.  [a time-machine-related suicide causes pathos, 
fear, and much planning; seriocomic monologue.]

i.  "My Love Life," by Nella Christo Arbock:  (Mark even told 
me who she was but I can't remember; sorry.) [Woman 
recalls a disastrous trip to Chicago and its effects on her 
love life; dramatic monologue.]

i.m.  Guitar song, by Mike Brooks:  M Brooks.  [M plays guitar 
and sings a song; musical performance.]  

j.  Chris O's monologue, by Christopher "Dr. of GAYchology" 
Okiishi:  C Okiishi.  [Chris debates whether to give up being 
gay, contemplates identity; seriocomic monologue.]

k.  The Raincoat thing, by Mike Cassady and Neil "Balls"  
Campbell:  M Cassady, N"B" Campbell, C Okiishi, A 
Galbraith.  [raincoat chanting, drumming, shouting, butts; 
comedic performance art.]

l.  Stabbing monolgue, by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl.  
[Something sharp hanging out of his back, man deals with 
such factors as the danger inherent in removing sharp 
thing, irritating flashing neon lights; comedic monolgue.]

Time: Sat, 07-Apr-2001 17:10:21 GMT     IP: 24.183.162.188

#4. "Driving," by Adam Hahn: A Hahn.
[A describes automobiles, females, related failures; monologue.]

     #3 (3.5 was the two-guitar song) was a piece, authors and 
performers unknown to me, involving fat-related cat blowing and 
pasta-related exclamations.

     It should be noted that b. on Aprille's list was three .5's 
spread through the night.

Time: Sun, 08-Apr-2001 17:48:03 GMT     IP: 128.255.110.92

If you are an undergraduate studying at the University of Iowa 
who has written for No Shame anytime this season, have 
never served on the No Shame board, have never won the 
No Shame scholarship before, and apply for the No Shame 
scholarship, I will make out with you WHILE you are barfing, 
whether I think you are nice or not.

Slut in residence,

Aaron

Time: Sun, 08-Apr-2001 21:34:50 GMT     IP: 128.255.107.78

The performer of the Nella monologue was Nancy Mayfield, the 
titles of Al's trilogy was (forgive the grammar) Hymietown: A 
Murder Mystery Part One: Gittes? Gottes? Good, Part Two: like 
Nickel-Father, Like Nicholson, and Part Three: Runaway, Faye 
Dunaway. Dan's was called Event Horizontal, J.C.'s was The 
Deadlies, Part Three (I think) and maybe I'll remember more when 
I'm less hungry.

A Mark VII Web Post

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 02:21:54 GMT     IP: 205.244.167.124

Neil here. Sorry guys, I wound up with the order, but this has 
been the first time I've been able to get on the internet since 
the show. I don't, however, have either the pieces themselves so 
I won't be including any cast lists or descriptions.

Announcements: A. Clarke
Order: NB Campbell

0.5) "The Connoisseurs" by Chris Stangl

1) "The Wrong Number Sketch #1" by Orangutans aka Tom!

1.5) "Hymietown: A Murder Mystery -- Part I: Gittes? Gottes? 
Good" by Al Angel

2) "Robbie Had a Baby -&- The Head Popped Off" by Alyssa Bowman

3) "Holy Ravioli! -&- Other Catchphrases Involving Pasta" by the 
Fun Police Power Team!

3.5) "i.e." by Jason Gorski -&- Dan McMahon

4) "Driving" by Adam Hahn

5) "Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife" by Aprille Clarke

6) "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue Goat" by Arese 
Dillworth

6.5) "Hymietown, Pt. 2: Like Nickel-Father, Like Nicholson" by 
Al Angel

7) "Lovelife" by Nella Christo Arbock

8) "Event Horizontal" by Dan Fairchild

9) "The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey" by Mark Hansen

10) "Bones" by King Toad

10.5) "Hymietown Pt. 3: Runaway Faye Dunaway" by Faye "Al" Angel

11) "This -&- That" by Chris "Dr. of GAYchology" Okiishi

12) "Genre Pt. III: Science Fiction" by Arlen Lawson

13) "I'm 15 -&- Pissed: A Song" by Mike Brooks

14) "Noh Rain Now" by Mike Cassady -&- Neil Balls Campbell

15) "Neapolitan in a Bad Place with Sixty Cents" by Chris Stangl

And that was the end of the show.

REMEMBER to apply for No Shame scholarships ... if you can.

Aaron will make out with your vomit.

Balls

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 03:05:51 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.14

NO SHAME THEATRE  April 6, 2001  ORDER
by the People Who Write in Boardroom Posts
Compiled by Arlen Lawson
      


Announcements: A. Clarke
Order: NB Campbell

0.5) "The Connoisseurs" by Chris Stangl: C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A drink and discuss their wine-tasting methods; comedy 
sketch.]

1) "The Wrong Number Sketch #1" by Orangutans aka Tom!: N 
Campbell, A. Galbraith, T Knapp [N borrows role of "Little Shit" 
from absentee Paul Rust, convinces autistic A to dial 1 in event 
of emergency, which is his mom's phone number]

1.5) "Hymietown: A Murder Mystery -- Part I: Gittes? Gottes? 
Good" by Al Angel:  A Angel, M Cassady, M Hansen, C  Stangl, A 
Clarke.  [MC is blind to MH's murderous lifestyle; comedy 
sketches.]

2) "Robbie Had a Baby --&-- The Head Popped Off" by Alyssa Bowman:  
M Cassady, D Fairchild, N"B" Campbell, ??? [There was fat man 
pee, ugly babies, and Tom Kovacs involved.]

3) "Holy Ravioli! --&-- Other Catchphrases Involving Pasta" by the 
Fun Police Power Team!: FPPT [fat-related cat blowing and 
pasta-related exclamations.]

3.5) "i.e." by Jason Gorski --&-- Dan McMahon: J. Gorski, 
D. McMahon [two guys play guitar and one sings a song; musical 
performance.]

4) "Driving" by Adam Hahn: A Hahn [A describes automobiles, 
females, related failures; monologue.]

5) "Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife" by Aprille Clarke: A 
Clarke.  [woman bleeds pop hits; comedy sketch.]

6) "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue Goat" by Arese 
Dillworth:  JC Luxton, A Burton, C Stangl.  [JC is horribly 
incompetent and ill-rehearsed and in need of constant aid, then 
he plagiarizes; comedy sketch.]

6.5) "Hymietown, Pt. 2: Like Nickel-Father, Like Nicholson" by Al 
Angel; [see 1.5]

7) "Lovelife" by Nella Christo Arbock: Nancy Mayfield[N. recalls 
a disastrous trip to Chicago and its effects on her love life; 
dramatic monologue.]

8) "Event Horizontal" by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild, A 
Galbraith. [working sideways, the last two remaining soldiers 
discuss how to end their mission; comedy sketch.]

9) "The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey" by Mark Hansen:  M 
Hansen, D Fairchild, A Burton, J River, A Lawson.  [D is monkey, 
AB is monkey owner (or are they???), they relate to each other.  
comedy sketch.]

10) "Bones" by King Toad:  J River, H.A. Angel, A. Bowman, N. 
Clark, A. Lawson, M. Hansen, others?  [accompanied by an 
extensive percussion section, J performs a hit song from his hit 
album; musical performance.]

10.5) "Hymietown Pt. 3: Runaway Faye Dunaway" by Faye "Al" Angel: 
[see 1.5]

11) "This --&-- That" by Chris "Dr. of GAYchology" Okiishi:  C 
Okiishi.  [Chris debates whether to give up being gay, 
contemplates identity; seriocomic monologue.]

12) "Genre Pt. III: Science Fiction" by Arlen Lawson:  A Lawson 
[a time-machine-related suicide causes pathos, fear, and much 
planning; seriocomic monologue.]

13) "I'm 15 --&-- Pissed: A Song" by Mike Brooks:  M Brooks.  [M 
plays guitar and sings a song; musical performance.]  

14) "Noh Rain Now" by Mike Cassady --&-- Neil Balls Campbell:  M 
Cassady, N"B" Campbell, C Okiishi, A Galbraith.  [raincoat 
chanting, drumming, shouting, butts; comedic performance art.]

15) "Neapolitan in a Bad Place with Sixty Cents" by Chris Stangl: 
C Stangl. [Something sharp hanging out of his back, man deals 
with such factors as the danger inherent in removing sharp thing, 
irritating flashing neon lights; comedic monolgue.]

      And that was the end of the show.

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 06:39:09 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.242

Scholarships are due by Friday, April 20th, ostensibly @ 10:30pm, 
but if you forget your application and need to run home to get it 
and don't get it to us until a few minutes later, I'm sure that's 
all right. I'm the one who had the idea to give the deadline an 
actual time that doesn't really make sense, so blame me.

So to answer your question, Friday, April 20th, is the last day 
to turn in scholarships applications. So DO IT.

Neil

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 13:25:20 GMT     IP: 206.65.190.134

That means you have one week to do something at No Shame this 
season so that you can qualify.  Hurry up all you greedy undergrads 
and fling your work at the mercy of the stage, then fling a longer 
work at the mercy of the board.  It could very well mean $500 for 
you.  Woo Hoo!

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 04:14:06 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.202

when is this scholarship thing due?

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 16:47:39 GMT     IP: 207.165.237.210

Announcements: A. Clarke
Order: NB Campbell

0.5) "The Connoisseurs" by Chris Stangl: C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A drink and discuss their wine-tasting methods; comedy 
sketch.]

I was dealing with latecomers at this moment and missed the whole 
sketch.  I ususally like these, though, which makes me happy, 
then sad.

1) "The Wrong Number Sketch #1" by Orangutans aka Tom!: N 
Campbell, A. Galbraith, T Knapp [N borrows role of "Little Shit" 
from absentee Paul Rust, convinces autistic A to dial 1 in event 
of emergency, which is his mom's phone number]

Well, as I'm currently working my way through a morning 
of "Autism Clinic", I suppose I should be offended, but Aaron's 
dead-on impersonation/characterization of a person with Autism 
was really quite good, and, by playing up the rigidity and 
innocence, added immeasureable to the hillarity.  Pity that Rust 
couldn't have been there for this homage.

1.5) "Hymietown: A Murder Mystery -- Part I: Gittes? Gottes? 
Good" by Al Angel:  A Angel, M Cassady, M Hansen, C  Stangl, A 
Clarke.  [MC is blind to MH's murderous lifestyle; comedy 
sketches.]

These were fun.  I loved the Chinatown references in the titles, 
which went nicely with the piece's tone.  Sad that the gun was 
less-than-cooperative, tho.  

2) "Robbie Had a Baby ---&--- The Head Popped Off" by Alyssa 
Bowman:  
M Cassady, D Fairchild, N"B" Campbell, ??? [There was fat man 
pee, ugly babies, and Tom Kovacs involved.]

Rapid-fire insult humor.  What more could you want from a quick 
sketch?

3) "Holy Ravioli! ---&--- Other Catchphrases Involving Pasta" by 
the 
Fun Police Power Team!: FPPT [fat-related cat blowing and 
pasta-related exclamations.]

This was a tad underdeveloped (I like my pasta al dente, but this 
was just not completely cooked), but had funny lines and I 
enjoyed the energy.  I'm not remebering it terribly well, but I 
do recall being just a bit disappointed with its structural 
framework.

3.5) "i.e." by Jason Gorski ---&--- Dan McMahon: J. Gorski, 
D. McMahon [two guys play guitar and one sings a song; musical 
performance.]

Great voice on the singer guy.  Nice guitar work, if a touch long 
in the instrumental sections--it felt a bit like a concert 
version of a pop hit that everyone would dig a lot if they had 
heard the tighter original dozens of times.  Minor discordant 
moments sounded not-so-intentional, but again, I liked the vocal 
sections of the song quite a bit, and the balance was terrific 
for a NS musical piece.  Come back again!  

4) "Driving" by Adam Hahn: A Hahn [A describes automobiles, 
females, related failures; monologue.]\

ADAM HAHN IS BACK!  Nice dramatic monolog.  I like the way the 
chairs were arranged as they were discarded.  And blessedly to-
the-point, and relatively fat-free.  I'm sad that there has been 
pain in his life, but happy he's writting again.

5) "Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife" by Aprille Clarke: A 
Clarke.  [woman bleeds pop hits; comedy sketch.]

Clever spin on the "bleed for your art" mantra.  Aprille once 
again mines humor in disturbing images that really have little 
intrisic hilarity.  Well chosen pop songs as well, and a solid 
closer all pulled this together for me.  Best line:  "I'm getting 
a reputation as some wierd, crotch sniffing lesbian."

6) "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue Goat" by Arese 
Dillworth:  JC Luxton, A Burton, C Stangl.  [JC is horribly 
incompetent and ill-rehearsed and in need of constant aid, then 
he plagiarizes; comedy sketch.]

Oh, how I laughed at this one.  I got the joke pretty early on, 
but that didn't matter.  No one so fully commits to his premise 
as J.C. does, and this really worked for me.  Basically, a litany 
of how not to do a NS piece that stilled worked as a NS piece.  
Bravo.

6.5) "Hymietown, Pt. 2: Like Nickel-Father, Like Nicholson" by Al 
Angel; [see 1.5]

See above.

7) "Lovelife" by Nella Christo Arbock: Nancy Mayfield[N. recalls 
a disastrous trip to Chicago and its effects on her love life; 
dramatic monologue.]

Caught parts of this, which I liked, but again, was pestered by 
late-comers that didn't want to pay.  Sorry, Nick.

8) "Event Horizontal" by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild, A 
Galbraith. [working sideways, the last two remaining soldiers 
discuss how to end their mission; comedy sketch.]

Delightful, in every sense of the word!  Charming, well set-up, 
wise to balance the silliness of the staging with not-at-all 
silly dialogue.  My only question--could this work in Mabie?

9) "The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey" by Mark Hansen:  M 
Hansen, D Fairchild, A Burton, J River, A Lawson.  [D is monkey, 
AB is monkey owner (or are they???), they relate to each other.  
comedy sketch.]

Great idea, well acted, just overly-long by a bit.  And, sadly, 
done in by light cues.  I really enjoyed the non-plussed 
delivery, though, which matched the Hansenian dialogue well.  

10) "Bones" by King Toad:  J River, H.A. Angel, A. Bowman, N. 
Clark, A. Lawson, M. Hansen, others?  [accompanied by an 
extensive percussion section, J performs a hit song from his hit 
album; musical performance.]

Great song.  Nicely performed.  Liked the egg timer use, although 
as I was enjoying the percussive introduction, I couldn't help 
but singing that ubiquitous Dido/Eminem song...

10.5) "Hymietown Pt. 3: Runaway Faye Dunaway" by Faye "Al" Angel: 
[see 1.5]

Nice scream at the begining, with a cute bit where Aprille gets 
chased off.  Otherwise, see above.

11) "This ---&--- That" by Chris "Dr. of GAYchology" Okiishi:  C 
Okiishi.  [Chris debates whether to give up being gay, 
contemplates identity; seriocomic monologue.]

Well, what a co-incidently apropo time to be given this nic-
name!  Thanks, Chris.

12) "Genre Pt. III: Science Fiction" by Arlen Lawson:  A Lawson 
[a time-machine-related suicide causes pathos, fear, and much 
planning; seriocomic monologue.]

Never quite sure where this one was going, which I mean as a 
compliment.  I really like Arlen's delivery and style.  The 
ending came inevitably, I guess, but a little abruptly.  
Interesting, and of all the pieces this night, this is the one 
I've thought about most.

13) "I'm 15 ---&--- Pissed: A Song" by Mike Brooks:  M Brooks.  [M 
plays guitar and sings a song; musical performance.]  

Mike should, from now on, ALWAYS sing his own songs.  This was 
terrific.  Strong work.

14) "Noh Rain Now" by Mike Cassady ---&--- Neil Balls Campbell:  M 
Cassady, N"B" Campbell, C Okiishi, A Galbraith.  [raincoat 
chanting, drumming, shouting, butts; comedic performance art.]

Oh, how I loved being in this.  I missed seeing Campbell and 
Cassady butt, though.  

15) "Neapolitan in a Bad Place with Sixty Cents" by Chris Stangl: 
C Stangl. [Something sharp hanging out of his back, man deals 
with such factors as the danger inherent in removing sharp thing, 
irritating flashing neon lights; comedic monolgue.]

Now granted I have missed FAR too many No Shames this year, but 
from what I've seen, I'm really enjoying Stangl's foray into 
urban-y underbelly characters.  Violent in more of an ominous, 
atmospheric way, rather than as action.  More concerned with 
character than plot, and with language than jokes.  This is a 
interesting direction for his work, and I'm curious as to where 
it's heading next.  

Thems my thoughts.  For what they are worth.

Time: Mon, 09-Apr-2001 19:17:41 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.121

 6) "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue Goat" by Arese 
     Dillworth:  JC Luxton, A Burton, C Stangl.  [JC is horribly 
     incompetent and ill-rehearsed and in need of constant aid,
     then he plagiarizes; comedy sketch.]

Just for the record, though hopefully it was clear already, JC did 
not warn either me or Chris Stangl that we were going to be 
participating.  I don't know if that makes us performers or 
victims, but a very fun piece nonetheless.

 13) "I'm 15 ----&---- Pissed: A Song" by Mike Brooks:  M Brooks.
     [M plays guitar and sings a song; musical performance.]

To quote:
"Nothing scares me more than singing in public.  I'm soiling 
myself."  (immediately followed by a great song.)

This gets my vote for the best preface I've ever seen at No Shame 
(sometimes people just HAVE to say "this is my first" or "I'm 
really nervous" whatever) that was NOT a disclaimer or in any way 
self-deprecating -- just honest.  A subtle point to zoom in on, 
but it struck me so I thought I'd mention it...

-Adam

Time: Tue, 10-Apr-2001 05:33:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

3.5) "i.e." by Jason Gorski ----&---- Dan McMahon: J. Gorski, 
D. McMahon [two guys play guitar and one sings a song; musical 
performance.]

Some information about my friends Jason and Dan, for the record, 
and because they wanted me to say something about them.  These 
guys are two of the members of SpoonfulJC, a Christian rock band 
that's just getting off it's feet in Chicago.  There's also a 
bassist, drummer, and (gasp) violinist.  Great combo.  They've 
got a CD out for $5.00.  (Shameless promotion here, and free ad 
in the process) I'm going to bring a few copies to the show on 
Friday, so ask me about them, OK?

Before the show, I told them that if they did a Christian song on 
stage, I'd stand up and applaud louder than anyone else.  Y'all 
applauded them so loud that I strained my voice and still 
couldn't drown you out.  What better response could they possibly 
get?

They paid me to write this-
Tom Kovacs

Time: Tue, 10-Apr-2001 05:37:09 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.148

Thx for the kind words Tom, but we're based in Rockford.  For 
those of you who haven't heard about Rockford, it's the screw 
capitol of the world...as in hardware :)

And we wouldn't pay you a dime to write this crap.  J/K Tom. 
Peace.

in Christ,
jason

Time: Tue, 10-Apr-2001 14:56:26 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.157

damn...now that we FINALLY have something appropriate for 
the IMA...

for those of you who haven't heard that story, Jamal got a 
phone call from an organization called the IMA (i think that's 
the right acronym), requesting that this "No Shame Improv 
Group" do a performance for their organization.  

Jamal, who was intimidated, fielded the call to Aaron, who 
explained to them that we're not an Improv group, but we've 
done performances on request before, blah blah blah.

Only then did he find out that the IMA is the Iowa Mennonite 
Association.  Those are the people you see at Wal-Mart 
where the women have to wear bonnets and dresses every 
day and aren't allowed to cut their hair.
 
rumor has it there are more moderate ones out there, but i 
don't believe it.  

Time: Tue, 10-Apr-2001 22:47:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.19

Note:  If I did not add anything constructive to my review of 
your piece it is because i don't have anything constructive to 
say about it and I think I would do better by you by just saying 
I liked it than forcing some bullshit out of my sphincter.

0.5) "The Connoisseurs" by Chris Stangl: C Stangl, A 
Lawson.  
[C and A drink and discuss their wine-tasting methods; 
comedy 
sketch.]

Can't tell if these are the same characters every week or not.  
Perhaps variations on the same characters like Stank-L's 
Franky and Johnny piece.  Don't tell me.  Keep me 
guessing.  This was a pleasant change.  They weren't 
already drunk, just in the process of getting so, which we've 
not seen as far as I can remember.  I don't know.  The way I 
look at these pieces changes every week.

1) "The Wrong Number Sketch #1" by Orangutans aka Tom!: 
N 
Campbell, A. Galbraith, T Knapp [N borrows role of "Little 
Shit" 
from absentee Paul Rust, convinces autistic A to dial 1 in 
event 
of emergency, which is his mom's phone number]

Hey, dammit!  I massaged breasts!  Where's my breast 
massaging credit? 

I think this should have been postponed until Paul could do 
it.  So it had that going against it.  Plus, I don't know what my 
part had to do with anything, except to add a bit of "What the 
fuck?" which failed.

1.5) "Hymietown: A Murder Mystery -- Part I: Gittes? Gottes? 
Good" by Al Angel:  A Angel, M Cassady, M Hansen, C 
 Stangl, A 
Clarke.  [MC is blind to MH's murderous lifestyle; comedy 
sketches.]

I think it would have worked better strewn together, or closer 
together in the order.  I forgot I was watching different parts 
of the same piece.  Maybe there could have been some 
waving flag that told us this was so.

2) "Robbie Had a Baby ---&--- The Head Popped Off" by 
Alyssa Bowman:  
M Cassady, D Fairchild, N"B" Campbell, ??? [There was fat 
man 
pee, ugly babies, and Tom Kovacs involved.]

I didn't fully understand it until we performed it.  No, I take 
that back, I didn't fully understand it until AFTER we 
performed it.  There was some stuff that still baffles me like 
after the dance I was supposed to pick up the phone, but I'm 
still talking to Mike, after a while i didn;t know if I was still 
supposed to be talking on the phone.  This led to me 
draining all the humor out of some lines.  I was warned 
against really kicking Nick in the butt.  I lost control and did it 
anyway.  SORRY, NICK! FORCE OF HABIT!

But it was still fun.  If you didn't like this piece, I take full 
responsibility.

3) "Holy Ravioli! ---&--- Other Catchphrases Involving Pasta" 
by the 
Fun Police Power Team!: FPPT [fat-related cat blowing and 
pasta-related exclamations.]
I remember that I liked it.

3.5) "i.e." by Jason Gorski ---&--- Dan McMahon: J. Gorski, 
D. McMahon [two guys play guitar and one sings a song; 
musical 
performance.]  Didn't like it.  I generally don't like God Rock 
(there are exceptions) but this wasn't what put me against 
this.  I only half suspected it of being God rock until Tommy 
K came out and said it was so.  It was filled with musical 
humor like the first movement in Shostakovich's Ninth 
Symphony, which I like, but all the jokes were cliche.

4) "Driving" by Adam Hahn: A Hahn [A describes 
automobiles, 
females, related failures; monologue.]  Was this the guy 
who last year shaved his head the week after he made an 
eggy mess on stage?  Unfortunately this question was 
preoccupying me during his entire monologue.  I blame him 
for not grabbing my attention (and my scrotum)

5) "Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife" by Aprille Clarke: A 
Clarke.  [woman bleeds pop hits; comedy sketch.]

6) "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue Goat" by Arese 
Dillworth:  JC Luxton, A Burton, C Stangl.  [JC is horribly 
incompetent and ill-rehearsed and in need of constant aid, 
then 
he plagiarizes; comedy sketch.]

I secretly fall in love with JC every week.  There.  It's no 
longer a secret.  He never follows the same format twice 
and every week he never fails to blow me away.  In my 
opinion, if there's one reason to go to No Shame, it's JC.

6.5) "Hymietown, Pt. 2: Like Nickel-Father, Like Nicholson" 
by Al 
Angel; [see 1.5]

7) "Lovelife" by Nella Christo Arbock: Nancy Mayfield[N. 
recalls 
a disastrous trip to Chicago and its effects on her love life; 
dramatic monologue.]  Was this the last in the series of the 
second to last?  I'll assume it's the second to last because 
there seemed to be a lot of foreshadowing of the final life 
love (not a typo) going on.  I wish there was more going than 
just someone standing up on stage and talking.  I know 
there's humor here but despite casting of actors with big 
time stage presence, the character doesn't have too much.  
But I am anticipating the end, and not because I'm bored 
with it, because I'm not.

8) "Event Horizontal" by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild, A 
Galbraith. [working sideways, the last two remaining 
soldiers 
discuss how to end their mission; comedy sketch.]

To answer Dr. Okiishi's question:  I think it could be done in 
Mabie.  Probably better, actually.  If I'm not mistaken there's 
a proscenium arch thingy that provides enough wall to stand 
on.  Aaron wouldn't be blocking me with the added height of 
the stage because I turn toward him and I'm taller than he 
is.

This piece was at least fifty percent casting.  Viva la 
Galbraith.

9) "The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey" by Mark 
Hansen:  M 
Hansen, D Fairchild, A Burton, J River, A Lawson.  [D is 
monkey, 
AB is monkey owner (or are they???), they relate to each 
other.  
comedy sketch.]

When we were rehearsing this Arlen commented, "Waiting 
For Godot."  I think that says it all.  Except I think everybody 
would have fun watching this, whereas Samuel Beckett (not 
the guy from Quantum Leap) not everybody could.

10) "Bones" by King Toad:  J River, H.A. Angel, A. Bowman, 
N. 
Clark, A. Lawson, M. Hansen, others?  [accompanied by an 
extensive percussion section, J performs a hit song from 
his hit 
album; musical performance.]

I was feeling very tribal during this one.   The little beat thing 
we were doing actually worked pretty well for the song.  And I 
we had no idea what he was going to play.  I attribute this to 
the genius of King Toad.

10.5) "Hymietown Pt. 3: Runaway Faye Dunaway" by Faye 
"Al" Angel: 
[see 1.5]

11) "This ---&--- That" by Chris "Dr. of GAYchology" Okiishi:  C 
Okiishi.  [Chris debates whether to give up being gay, 
contemplates identity; seriocomic monologue.]

Awesome!  I think there needs to be more public 
straight-bashing going on.  I may be crazy but it seems like 
the civil rights movement really started gathering 
momentum when african americans started to publicly 
make fun of whitey.

12) "Genre Pt. III: Science Fiction" by Arlen Lawson:  A 
Lawson 
[a time-machine-related suicide causes pathos, fear, and 
much 
planning; seriocomic monologue.]

If Arlen could get off book just a little bit, he would rock my 
world.  I don't feel as connected to his performances as 
once I did.

13) "I'm 15 ---&--- Pissed: A Song" by Mike Brooks:  M Brooks. 
 [M 
plays guitar and sings a song; musical performance.]  I 
remember I liked it.

14) "Noh Rain Now" by Mike Cassady ---&--- Neil Balls 
Campbell:  M 
Cassady, N"B" Campbell, C Okiishi, A Galbraith.  [raincoat 
chanting, drumming, shouting, butts; comedic performance 
art.]
A very "do not attempt to adjust your televisions" sort of feel 
which I loved and, for some strange reason, worked on 
stage.  There were parts when Mike didn't quite lift his coat 
high enough and so I felt cheated.  Loved how one sentence 
morphed into the next and flowed it's way back.  An acid trip 
at high tide.

15) "Neapolitan in a Bad Place with Sixty Cents" by Chris 
Stangl: 
C Stangl. [Something sharp hanging out of his back, man 
deals 
with such factors as the danger inherent in removing sharp 
thing, 
irritating flashing neon lights; comedic monolgue.]

In Chris's monlo

Time: Tue, 10-Apr-2001 22:51:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.19

I tried to copy and paste the remainder of my review from the 
post reply thingy, yet it failed to give me the whole thing I 
writted.  So once again, i must disappoint Arlen.  Until I get 
this damn thing figured out.

I promise from here on out I will start by typing it all up on 
Word or something.  Okay?

wuv,

dan

Time: Wed, 11-Apr-2001 01:09:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23

I appologize in advance for the one lined comments, but these 
where ones that, while I had nothing constructive to say, I didnt 
want to leave altogether without mention.

0.5) "The Connoisseurs" by Chris Stangl: C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A drink and discuss their wine-tasting methods; comedy 
sketch.]
I dont know if I liked this one as much as I have some of the 
others.  I cant say anything beneficial about what was lacking 
though.  That is, I cant think of what was lacking, maybe my good 
humor.  

1) "The Wrong Number Sketch #1" by Orangutans aka Tom!: N 
Campbell, A. Galbraith, T Knapp [N borrows role of "Little Shit" 
from absentee Paul Rust, convinces autistic A to dial 1 in event 
of emergency, which is his mom's phone number]
All the time wondering why Dan was massaging breasts is what, I 
think, kept me from enjoying this one.

1.5) "Hymietown: A Murder Mystery -- Part I: Gittes? Gottes? 
Good" by Al Angel:  A Angel, M Cassady, M Hansen, C  Stangl, A 
Clarke.  [MC is blind to MH's murderous lifestyle; comedy 
sketches.]
Aprille has an impressive scream.  I thought this mini trilogy 
was better than the last.

2) "Robbie Had a Baby ---&--- The Head Popped Off" by Alyssa 
Bowman:  
M Cassady, D Fairchild, N"B" Campbell, ??? [There was fat man 
pee, ugly babies, and Tom Kovacs involved.]
I dont really remember this one.

3) "Holy Ravioli! ---&--- Other Catchphrases Involving Pasta" by 
the 
Fun Police Power Team!: FPPT [fat-related cat blowing and 
pasta-related exclamations.]
This one either.

3.5) "i.e." by Jason Gorski ---&--- Dan McMahon: J. Gorski, 
D. McMahon [two guys play guitar and one sings a song; musical 
performance.]
I found myself drifting during this one but it was nice 
background music for my thoughts.

4) "Driving" by Adam Hahn: A Hahn [A describes automobiles, 
females, related failures; monologue.]
This was good.

5) "Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife" by Aprille Clarke: A 
Clarke.  [woman bleeds pop hits; comedy sketch.]
This was funny.

6) "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue Goat" by Arese 
Dillworth:  JC Luxton, A Burton, C Stangl.  [JC is horribly 
incompetent and ill-rehearsed and in need of constant aid, then 
he plagiarizes; comedy sketch.]
I thought this was great except that it maybe went on to long, 
past the novelty of the joke.  Although that could work in favour 
of illustrating the tediousness of the character.

6.5) "Hymietown, Pt. 2: Like Nickel-Father, Like Nicholson" by Al 
Angel; [see 1.5]

7) "Lovelife" by Nella Christo Arbock: Nancy Mayfield[N. recalls 
a disastrous trip to Chicago and its effects on her love life; 
dramatic monologue.]
I was also wondering if all the recapping was in preparation for 
this being the last or a setup for the last.

8) "Event Horizontal" by Dan Fairchild:  D Fairchild, A 
Galbraith. [working sideways, the last two remaining soldiers 
discuss how to end their mission; comedy sketch.]
This really made me giggle.  The silliness of the action 
contrasted by the seriousness of the dialogue worked wonderfully.

9) "The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey" by Mark Hansen:  M 
Hansen, D Fairchild, A Burton, J River, A Lawson.  [D is monkey, 
AB is monkey owner (or are they???), they relate to each other.  
comedy sketch.]
This was too slow and too cut up, otherwise it would have been 
lovely.

10) "Bones" by King Toad:  J River, H.A. Angel, A. Bowman, N. 
Clark, A. Lawson, M. Hansen, others?  [accompanied by an 
extensive percussion section, J performs a hit song from his hit 
album; musical performance.]
I absolutely loved this song.  I must get that CD.  You must get 
that CD. 

10.5) "Hymietown Pt. 3: Runaway Faye Dunaway" by Faye "Al" Angel: 
[see 1.5]

11) "This ---&--- That" by Chris "Dr. of GAYchology" Okiishi:  C 
Okiishi.  [Chris debates whether to give up being gay, 
contemplates identity; seriocomic monologue.]
Funny and sad, funny and sad.  Its really good stuff when you can 
get a rollercoaster reaction from your audience.

12) "Genre Pt. III: Science Fiction" by Arlen Lawson:  A Lawson 
[a time-machine-related suicide causes pathos, fear, and much 
planning; seriocomic monologue.]
I usually get the same rollercoaster from Arlen's stuff. Usually, 
but I was a little predisposed to take this one in an especially 
sad light maybe because of the end of the skit preceding it.  Or 
maybe because he seemed to deliver the funny parts in a more 
wistful or sorrowful voice rather than in his usual ironic tone.

13) "I'm 15 ---&--- Pissed: A Song" by Mike Brooks:  M Brooks.  [M 
plays guitar and sings a song; musical performance.]  
I remember the beginning statement, which was really funny, but 
then I drifted off again.  Not to say these driftings off are 
anything bad about the pieces, just that I had the tendency to do 
that on that particular night.

14) "Noh Rain Now" by Mike Cassady ---&--- Neil Balls Campbell:  M 
Cassady, N"B" Campbell, C Okiishi, A Galbraith.  [raincoat 
chanting, drumming, shouting, butts; comedic performance art.]
This was great.

15) "Neapolitan in a Bad Place with Sixty Cents" by Chris Stangl: 
C Stangl. [Something sharp hanging out of his back, man deals 
with such factors as the danger inherent in removing sharp thing, 
irritating flashing neon lights; comedic monolgue.]
This one didnt thrill me as Chris's work usually does but the 
effect of the flickering lights was a nice set up touch.

Time: Wed, 11-Apr-2001 01:12:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.23

"That is, I cant think of what was lacking, maybe my good 
humor."  
That didnt sound like what I meant to say.  I meant to say 
something more like, because I was lacking good humor.  
TC

Time: Wed, 11-Apr-2001 02:49:35 GMT     IP: 208.129.184.158

I agree with your generalization...I don't think that that group 
of people can really appreciate the raw hilarity of no shame.  I 
know a number of people from this IMA (it is really IMS).  All of 
my frieds are moderate, but there are that other 80% who are 
not.  You would have to tone down alot of your material alot.  If 
you didn't, you would probably shock them beyond repair...and 
this has nothing to do with the fact that if you don't perform, 
then the band I am in will and get paid...
Seth

Time: Wed, 11-Apr-2001 22:35:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.19

Okay, so I've already apologized for getting my review cut off.  
But looking over my review I noticed that I completely frigging 
skipped Aprille.  I didn't even put, "I liked it."  What a rotten 
piece of shit thing for me to do.  It was not intentional, 
Aprille.

So here it is:

It has been said that the great thing about Ms. Clarke's pieces is 
that she makes us laugh at totally inappropriate things to laugh 
at and then smacks us over the head for doing so.  Not 
punishingly, mind you, but with a sudden burst of self, and 
social, awareness.  But let's put that aside.  It's been said 
already.  

During JC's piece I got to thinking...could anybody but Aprille 
perform one of her pieces and make it work.  The answer:  No.  For 
me, what makes Aprille's pieces work so amazingly is the fact that 
contrary to most of her characters, Aprille is one of the 
classiest people I know.  And bear in mind that I don't know her 
THAT well.  And most of the audience knows her even less.  But the 
audience can pick up on it.  Besides the contradiction of having 
us laugh at inappropriate things, there is the contradiction of 
taking a, for lack of wanting a better term, unclassy character 
and performing it with the class and grace and wit Aprille 
commands. I liken it to Jennifer Jason Leigh in the Hudsucker 
Proxy.

Interesting fun fact:  Jennifer Jason Leigh is the daughter of Vic 
Morrow of Combat! and Twilight Zone the Movie decapitation fame.

It might be interesting to find out if anybody else could perform 
one of her pieces.

As for this piece:  I liked it.

Time: Thu, 12-Apr-2001 07:52:03 GMT     IP: 64.210.241.103

A shameless and inappropriate abuse of the NS board.

Anyone remotely interested in buying my computer, don't hesitate 
to contact me.  I have a Mac 6100 which i am selling for $150.  I 
throw in a GV teleport Gold II modem (about 19kbps) and a 100M zip 
drive.  You get AppleVision 14" monitor (w/ pretty nice sounding 
speakers).  has CD-ROM -&- floopy drives.  500M HD, 66Mhz processor, 
16M RAM.  Sufficient for word processing, internet surfing, MPEG 
viewing, mp3 listening, and i used it as a four-track recorder 
with some software i will leave on there.  OS 8 installed.  The 
6100 has the fun ability to pretend to be a PC.  The PC feature is 
not fully functional, but a call to Weeg could probably get it 
working again.  The PC part has windows 95, I think.  

A mere $150.  How can you resist?  You need it.  Call me.
Nick Clark: 466-9723
or click the email link above.  It is a real email that reaches 
me!

Time: Fri, 13-Apr-2001 23:51:01 GMT     IP: 64.210.241.103

Don't contact me anymore.  Arlen wants to buy it.  He gets it.

-Nick

Time: Sat, 14-Apr-2001 07:44:12 GMT     IP: 205.217.148.131

ORDER, 4/13/01

Announcements, order:  A Clarke, N"B" Campbell

0.5  "The Mixed Drink," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A mix a drink in C's mouth, disappointment ensues; 
comedy sketch]

1.  "A Judge, a Priest, a Rabbi, -&- the Jihad.  A Comedy of 
Manners," by __ Hansen:  ___ Hansen, A Galbraith, ??, ??.  
[People with a variety of foreign accents fight over packages; 
comedy sketch]

2.  "Buy Dan Fairchild Bye Dan Fairchild," by Al Angel:  A 
Angel, D Fairchild.  [Part 1 of the trilogy; comedy sketch]

3.  "The First Ever Live Male Abortion:  One HELLACIOUS 
Shindig," by Tom Knapp:  T Knapp, K Swatek, A Clarke, C 
Okiishi, A Angel, A Galbraith, various square dancers.  [C 
performs and abortion on T, inadvertently removing his 
penis, which AG munches.  AA accompanies; comedy 
sketch]

4.  "I Can Type 80 Words Per Minute," by Alyssa Bowman:  A 
Lawson, N"B" Campbell, A Galbraith.  [A portrays a man 
vocally impressed by his own accomplishments; N"B" 
diminishes him; comedy sketch.]

5.  "Tickety-Tock, Schmickety Schmock," by Dan Fairchild:  D 
Fairchild, N Clark.  [D reflects on the roles of light, snooze 
buttons, and national anthem lyrics; N sleeps; seriocomic 
monologue]

6.  "Marvin Catches a Fish:  A Tale Told in Pantomime," by 
Kevin Swatek:  K Swatek.  [K pantomimes catching a fish; 
pantomime performance]

6.5.  "Crazy Times in Wackyville," by Seth Brenneman:  S 
Brenneman.  [S contemplates and ultimately decides to lick 
a 9-volt battery; comedy performance]

7.  "The Deadlies, Pt. 5:  The Red Bear," by Phillip 
Rummels:  JC Luxton.  [Inspired by a persuasive speech, 
the audience vows to "Kill the bastards" who make life 
difficult; inspirational comedic monologue]

8.  "The Inside Story," by Christopher Okiishi:  C Okiishi, A 
Galbraith, A Clarke, that person whose name I forgot.  [C 
and A fight for control of their body--wackiness ensues; 
comedy sketch]

9.  "Public Darling/Private Dick," by Aprille Clarke: A 
Galbraith, A Clarke, J River.  [Film-noir-style, a woman and 
private dick try to solve a crime; comedy sketch]

9.5.  "Light-Skinned-Boy; Dan Fairchild Pt. 2," by Al Angel:  A 
Angel, D Fairchild, C Stangl.  [part 2 of the trilogy; comedy 
sketch]

10.  "I Gave Up Pogs For Lent," by Aaron Galbraith:  A 
Galbraith, N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.  [Tracing 3 historical 
situations--Pythagoras, Columbus, and Jesus--N"B" gets 
drowned; comedy sketch.]

10.5.  "There Is No Reason Why Anyone Should Ever Be 
Unhappy," by Paul Rust:  P Rust, Michelle ___, ??, ??.  [P 
cheers his sad friends through song; friendship and 
happiness ensue; comedy sketch.]

11.  "Broken," by Egli:  J River, C Stangl, A Clarke, P Rust, D 
Fairchild, A Galbraith.  [people say syllables in time; sound 
performance]

12.  Crouching Diaper, Hidden Tampon:  Y.H. Crairtap," by 
MsInimef:  C Stangl, N Clark, A Galbraith??.  C explains 
women to his sons, N wears aluminum foil; comedy sketch]

12.5.  "Fan Defiled, Dan Fairchild Pt. 3," by Al Angel.  D 
Fairchild, A Angel, most other people

13.  "The Groaner," by POOKMAN!:  P Man, ??.  [P tells a joke 
and physically reflects it; comedy sketch.]

14.  "Thunder Town," by Neil "Balls" Campbell:  N"B" 
Campbell, J River.  [in a series of mini-monologues in a 
variety of voices, N wonders about space cats, alcoholic 
parents, scary lightning, and tit-sucking; serio-comic 
monologue]

15.  "Divers Under Rods and Cones," by Chris Stangl:  C 
Stangl, C Okiishi.  [Burbling in water, CS discusses the way 
color does and does not work in photocopies of 
photocopies of drivers' licenses; damp monologue]

Hey, remember to nominate your favorites from this 
semester for the sleeker, leaner BEST OF NO SHAME, 
coming up in just two weeks.

Time: Sat, 14-Apr-2001 21:16:14 GMT     IP: 152.163.194.193

Anyone see that thing about No Shame UK on the noshame.org front 
page? I can't agree with the review, but the jacket potato sure 
sounds nice.

Also, if anyone is coming to Chicago after classes end, I'm in a 
show that runs until May 20 in the city. Email for the details, 
or to say hi. Because I'm oh so lonely.

miguel

Time: Sun, 15-Apr-2001 16:36:18 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.14

Here's my nominations:

Arlen Lawson - Wars and Sawa
Edmund Scott - Don't Tread on Me
Aaron Galbraith - Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.
Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Goblin in Me
Chris Okiishi - This Will Only Hurt For a Moment
Chris Stangl - The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity
JC Luxton - The Deadlies; Part One: The Blue Cow
Paul Rust - My Own Private Sitcom 
Aprille Clarke - Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife
Mike Cassady --&-- Neil Balls Campbell - Noh Rain Now
Al Angel:  The Dan Fairchild Trilogy  (And not just because I 
liked it, or because of my huge ego, either.  I want my pee-pee 
rubbed again.)
Amanda- Improv Storytime
Jamal River - Out Cold
Mark Hansen - Groove Bowel and the Towel
Alyssa Bowman - The Dan Fairchild (Despite the fact that this 
was fun to do and I liked it immensely, this nomination IS 
because of my huge ego. Tee hee.)

Time: Sun, 15-Apr-2001 20:13:29 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.14

0.5"The Mixed Drink," by Chris Stangl:  C Stangl, A Lawson.  
[C and A mix a drink in C's mouth, disappointment ensues; 
comedy sketch]

Probably the most physically disgusting D-S piece yet.

1.  "A Judge, a Priest, a Rabbi, --&-- the Jihad.  A Comedy of 
Manners," by __ Hansen:  ___ Hansen, A Galbraith, ??, ??.  
[People with a variety of foreign accents fight over packages; 
comedy sketch]
The actors (in order of appearance) Me, Kevin Mahler, Jeff 
Hansen, Katherine Brown.

Having been friends with Jeff Hansen since junior high, and 
collaborating with him on a full-length play, I can offer 
perhaps the best insight on this piece.  Jeff has always had 
trouble writing dialogue, which is murder for a playwright.  I 
see him getting better at it all the time and I wish I were 
someone who could give advice. It often gets in the way of him 
accomplishing anything else in his writing. For example:  His 
prior piece worked around his weakness by pretty much everything 
being improvised.  The actors had to play several parts (I had 
to play someone who had no idea what they were doing on stage 
[don't go there], I drew the character of a fingernail trying to 
get revenge on his nail-biting owner, and to complicate matters 
worse, I was given the situation of being in love with one of my 
fellow improvisers.  Nobody got what was going on, but Jeff 
accomplished what he set out to do: create the worst act of 
improvisation ever.  Poor Spencer Griffin had to play Henry 
Kissinger on acid, and he was supposed to be deaf.  How the fuck 
do you do that?  

But anyway, in this piece there was some good dialogue but the 
plot was compromised.  The story goes thus:  A French guy and an 
Italian guy are talking and the topic gets around to did the It. 
guy deliver the Fr. guy's package.  Then a British guy and a 
Southern belle come on with another package.  Fr. guy accuses 
It. guy of giving package to Br. Guy.  Fr. guy beats the hell 
out of It. guy while Br. guy serenades S. belle.  It. guy dies.  
BG and SB leave.  Fr. guy realizes that he still has the 
package, which leads to the weak, weak punchline of him winning 
the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.  Count the holes in 
the plot.  The way Jeff explained it to me, they weren't 
supposed to be there.

Anyway, when Jeff reads this I hope he's still my friend.

2.  "Buy Dan Fairchild Bye Dan Fairchild," by Al Angel:  A 
Angel, D Fairchild.  [Part 1 of the trilogy; comedy sketch]

The most Dan Fairchild No Shame, ever.  Is this a good thing?  
Well I had fun.  In more ways than one, if you know what I 
mean.  And I think you do.

3.  "The First Ever Live Male Abortion:  One HELLACIOUS 
Shindig," by Tom Knapp:  T Knapp, K Swatek, A Clarke, C 
Okiishi, A Angel, A Galbraith, various square dancers.  [C 
performs and abortion on T, inadvertently removing his 
penis, which AG munches.  AA accompanies; comedy 
sketch]

How long did this run?  This was a hodge-podge of everything 
that goes into recent  No Shame pieces:  Abortions, weird 
dancing, music, and sex.  It's almost as if Tom said, okay, this 
worked on stage, this worked on stage, and this worked on stage, 
I'll throw them all together for something new.  It wasn't.

4.  "I Can Type 80 Words Per Minute," by Alyssa Bowman:  A 
Lawson, N"B" Campbell, A Galbraith.  [A portrays a man 
vocally impressed by his own accomplishments; N"B" 
diminishes him; comedy sketch.]

The thing about Alyssa's pieces is this (at least for me):  You 
don't remember everything about them, they just leave an imprint 
on your brain and when you think about them you smile.  Do this 
now.  Think about any one of Alyssa's pieces.  Are you smiling?  
See, I told you so.

5.  "Tickety-Tock, Schmickety Schmock," by Dan Fairchild:  D 
Fairchild, N Clark.  [D reflects on the roles of light, snooze 
buttons, and national anthem lyrics; N sleeps; seriocomic 
monologue]

In writing this piece I tried to figure out how you would spell 
the sound an alarm clock makes.  I came up with this:  AEEEENT! 
AEEEENT!  AEEENT!  Etc. What do you think?

6.  "Marvin Catches a Fish:  A Tale Told in Pantomime," by 
Kevin Swatek:  K Swatek.  [K pantomimes catching a fish; 
pantomime performance]

If this were a true pantomime performance the cane would have 
been nixed.  I'm not much for mime so I don't think it would be 
fair for me to review this piece.

6.5.  "Crazy Times in Wackyville," by Seth Brenneman:  S 
Brenneman.  [S contemplates and ultimately decides to lick 
a 9-volt battery; comedy performance]

A brilliant idea.  Didn't like the dying part, though.  To many 
people die at No Shame only to return next week or even in the 
next sketch.  What kind of message are we sending the children?  
Perhaps if by licking the battery, the lights shorted out 
(Lights out).

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 03:35:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.176

hey - i'm doing the nominations a little differently than 
others. instead of putting down one piece for one person, i'm 
just going to go thru the orders and paste and copy all my 
favorites from those nights. These are the ones I think deserve 
to be in "best of..." (note: i missed april 6th). the board 
members can choose from my suggestions. i'm assuming this is an 
alright method.

A.J. Morgan - The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots
Al Angel - Oysters on the Half Shell
Arlen Lawson - Dickbreath --&-- the Devil
Aaron Galbraith - Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.
Elena Murphy - Why I Hate No Shame or Think Twice When They Take 
Your Money
Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Run Around Town
Chris Stangl - Heaven's Percolator
Areli River - Out Cold
Alyssa Bowman - The Dan Fairchild
Aprille Clarke - That Sad Story of That Lady I Know
Amanda - Improv Storytime
Mark Hansen - Groove Bowel and the Towel
Al Angel - Peeing John Malkovich: The Only Sketch That Matters
Chris Okiishi - This Will Only Hurt For a Moment
Chris Stangl - The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity
Merideth! - A LOVE Poem!
Soccer Pele [Jamal River] - How to Hurt a Man
Dan Fairchild - Feed the Ape for a Quarter
Arlen Lawson - The Word as Will and Vagina
Mike Cassady - One for the Cunni; Two for the Blow
Nella Christo Arbock - My Lovelife at Age Twelve
Dan Fairchild - God in a Two-Bedroom Efficiency
Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "Thunder-tits" Cassady - We Fall 
Down, We Go Boom 
Chris Stangl - The Girl Trouble Oracle 
Amanda - Amanda's Storytime 
Joel Schumacher - Things That Were Wrong With `Batman and Robin' 
Adam Burton - Coming Soon 
Dan Fairchild - Nobody Puts Baby In the Corner or Do You Wanna 
Wanna Mahna Mahna 
Frank Schroeder {J.C. Luxton} - The Deadlies, Part Two; The 
Orange Pig 
Neil "Balls" Campbell - This Is Who We Are 
Aprille Clarke - African Violence
Erin King - Chemistry Sucks
Seth Brenneman - Crazy Times in Wackyville
Aprille Clarke - Public Darling/Private Dick
Aaron Galbraith - I Gave Up Pogs For Lent
POOKMAN! - The Groaner
Neil "Balls" Campbell - Thunder Town

I, of course, would be pleased if I had a piece in the show, but 
I didn't know if it was tacky to list my own.
And... I (and I'm sure other no shame performers) would like to 
encourage nominations from audience members, too. 
Bye Bye.

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 03:58:41 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.176

Hi. This is Paul again. I wanted to bring up an idea that I had 
at Friday's No Shame. In the dressing room before the show, I 
heard Aprille say, "Let Kevin Swatek get in line because he's 
been here since I've been." I thought this was really cool of 
Aprille b/c I (and I'm sure others) have perhaps been in the 
same position as Kevin. That being... a performer is present in 
the dressing room before many others, but because late-comers 
get ahead in the rashly-made line at the right time, the early-
comers are turned away. Now I'm not complaining about the past 
or anything. I understand that this has been the normal, 
undisputed practice, so it's useless to get upset. And I'm sure 
I've been one to cut in front of people who have been there 
before me, too. I just figured I should throw out my idea and 
see if the board members would want to take up the new idea. 
Plus, upcoming dead week would prolly be a good time to 
experiment the idea.
So... (after much explanation), here's my idea. On the wall of 
the dressing room at a certain time (10:00-10:30), someone puts 
up a slip of paper with the numbers 1,2,3... 15. As a person 
walks in, he/she rips off one number for their piece.. until all 
fifteen numbers are taken up. That way, first come, first 
served.  The number doesn't necessarily signify your exact 
placement in the order, just yr. time to put a piece in. And to 
make things fair, only one person can rip off one number.
I realize this sounds highly anal, but I think its a good idea. 
Feel free to voice your feelings for and against this idea, so 
the board members know what the performers would want. Then, 
maybe they could decide later in the week.
Thanks - Paul

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 05:28:15 GMT     IP: 208.129.184.70

I am going to the same thing that Paul did.  It seemed very 
practical.

Chris Stangl - Idiot Caleb's Yard Sale
Al Angel - Oysters on the Half Shell
Paul Rust - Stammer
Arlen Lawson - Dickbreath --&-- the Devil
Aaron Galbraith - Floats Like a Bungeroth, Stings Like V.D.
Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Run Around Town
Chris Okiishi - This Will Only Hurt For a Moment
Chris Stangl - The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity
Al "Tom Ate a Man" Angel - The Pee-Hole Butt Turd. A Tale of 
Adventure
Mark J. Hansen - Franklin and the Sandwich
Paul Rust - Stanley Klugman: a Woman's Right... To Laugh!
Al Angel - Fart `n' Stink: the Golden Age of Hollywood
Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "Thunder-tits" Cassady - We Fall 
Down, We Go Boom
Arlen Lawson - Genre Pt I: Horror, Also Known as Comedy [0:28]
Frank Schroeder {J.C. Luxton} - The Deadlies, Part Two; The 
Orange Pig 
Paul Rust - My Own Private Sitcom Al Angel, Virgie Woolf, --&-- 
Noam Chomsky - Son of Nelson
Audrey Plumshower III - The Tale of the Giggly Bumblefucker
Arlen Lawson - Genre, Pt. II: WESTERN
Aprille Clarke - African Violence
Chris Stangl - The John the Baptist Blanket, or: GOD! Get Out of 
that Machine!
Aprille Clarke - Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife
Dan Fairchild - Event Horizontal
Arlen Lawson - Genre Pt. III: Science Fiction
Christopher Okiishi - The Inside Story
Aprille Clarke - Public Darling/Private Dick
Aaron Galbraith - I Gave Up Pogs For Lent

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 14:53:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.248

Here are a few nominations, I'll add some more when I think of 
some more.
Chemistry Sucks, Erin King
John the Baptist, Stangl
African violence, Aprille
This Will only hurt, Okiishi
Genre Pt. 3, Arlen
Feed the Ape, Fairchild
The Sitcom one that I missed, paul Rust
and more to come.

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 15:59:55 GMT     IP: 24.183.162.188

Aprille Clarke
Tie a Yellow Curtain
Public Darling/Private Dick
African Violence

Nella Christo Arbock
One from the "Lovelife" series- age Six or Eight

King Toad
Bones

Arlen Lawson
Genre Pts. I -&- III
The Legend of Honest Tom

Adam Burton
Coming Soon

JC Luxton
The Deadlies, Part Two; The Orange Pig

Paul Rust
My Own Private Sitcom
Crystal Pepsi

Chris Stangl
The Sensual Hitler; a War Atrocity
One of the alcohol sketches- maybe "The Prohibition"

Erin King
Chemistry Sucks

Chris Okiishi
This Will Only Hurt For a Moment
A Song

Neil Balls Campbell
The Goblin in Me

     If your wonderful piece is not on my list, that's because 
I've forgotten how much I loved it. It would be easier to remember 
loving it if you e-mailed the script to Jeff so as to have it web-
published.

Adam

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 16:19:33 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.118

Remember, last semester's "Dead Week" is eligible for this 
semester's Best of No Shame!  Here are some amazing pieces from 
that night:


Having the Mime of Your Life or Aunt Je-Mime-ma by "Arlen 
Lawson" or Chris Stangl, Jamal River, Alyssa Bowman, with music 
by The A Capella Becks

Wicked Awesome Cool Times by Michael "Mike" Cassady and 
Neil "Balls" Campbell 

Crystal Pepsi by Paul "Paul" Rust 


Don't mind if I do!

AP3

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 18:26:17 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.14

   I have watched every show this semester, having paid a total 
of ten dollars for the privilege, which makes me THE MOST 
QUALIFIED to decide which skits get into Best Of No Shame.  The 
rest of you may now shut up.  
   I did miss last semester's Dead Week.  Feel free to amend this 
dream order with any additions or subtractions based on that Dead 
Week.
  Before I begin, though, I think music is neat at No Shame and 
should be recognized at Best Of, but I don't think an already 
long night should be lengthened with songs, especially because 
most people who do songs at No Shame also do skits, skits worth 
seeing again.  Maybe the performers could record their songs and 
these could play before the show began.  In cases where a 
recording already exists, maybe they could re-record a live 
version, the way they played it at No Shame.
   Here are my favorite songs, as they were called in the orders, 
but I suppose there would be enough time to fill before the show 
that every person who performed a song could have one on the 
tape.

     King Toad - Bones
     Chris Okiishi - A Song
     Arlen Lawson - The Word as Will and Vagina a song

   How I came up with my Best Of picks:  I used Mr. Rust's idea 
of choosing my favorites from each evening, but decided that if 
this strategy kept up, then every piece that didn't totally suck 
would eventually be nominated and then where's the point in 
nominating anything, except to say that it did not suck.  So, 
then, with eleven Microsoft Word pages of skits and descriptions 
that were my favorites, I went through and chose the best from 
each author, which was a difficult task, as I have loved almost 
everything written by Mr. Stangl, Mr. Lawson, Mr. Campbell, Mr. 
Rust and Mr. Luxton, and as it involved making such decisions as 
dropping Mr. Luxton's "The Deadlies, Pt. Four: The Pale Blue 
Goat," which wouldn't work so well in the context of Best Of.  I 
then ranked the twenty-odd pieces that remained and chose the 
best order-full.  I even went through the trouble of trying to 
balance the order, drawing half from where in its respective 
order a piece appeared and half from trying to mix up serious and 
funny pieces, fast and slow paced.  Then, because I'd gone 
through so much needless effort, I thought I deserved to get long 
winded in its introduction.

Here is the dream order of Michael Walter Allen, weekly 
dollar-paying No Shame loving Wonderboy Extraordinaire


Order/ Announcements: River/ Campbell 

NATIONAL ANTHEM led by Paul Rust (Rust leads filthy schoolyard 
chant).

   0.5) Chris Stangl - St. Valentine's Day Massacre
          (Stangl, Lawson)
          [comedy sketch; Vodka --&-- love do not a cocktail make.]

     1. Bradley Harris - Cigar Boxes
          (B Harris)
          [B does skill-based tricks with three boxes (skill 
performance).(4:00)]

     2. A.J. Morgan - The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid 
Idiots
          (J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M Cassady)
          [J looks angry about the injustice in his life while P 
and M heartily enjoy jokes from a book (comedy sketch).(5:00)]

     3. Paul Rust - Stanley Klugman: a Woman's Right... To Laugh!
          (Rust, Galbraith, Clarke)
          [comedy sketch; Aging stand-up livens material with 
on-stage abortion.]


     4. Alyssa Bowman - The Dan Fairchild
          (D Fairchild)
          [D does a variety of dance moves while reciting many 
words, some of which rhyme and have specific dance moves 
associated with them (comedic dance performance/monologue).]

     5. Aaron Galbraith - I Gave Up Pogs For Lent
          (A Galbraith, N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.)
          [Tracing 3 historical situations--Pythagoras, Columbus, 
and Jesus--N"B" gets drowned; comedy sketch.]

     5.5. Al Angel, Chris Stangl, Britt Hill - How... Do You 
Spell Manifest Destiny?
          (Angel, Stangl)
          [comedy sketch; "Wanna eat at that new Indian 
Restaurant?..."!]


     6. Phillip Rummels - The Deadlies, Pt. 5: The Red Bear
          (JC Luxton.)
          [Inspired by a persuasive speech, the audience vows to 
"Kill the bastards" who make life difficult; inspirational 
comedic monologue]


     6.5. Audrey Plumshower III - The Tale of the Giggly 
Bumblefucker
          (N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.)
          [N"B" and M reveal the true source of Dr. Chris Oki 
Ishi's massive libido; comedy sketch.]


     7. Lisa Day - Putty [4:46]
          (Day, ?)
         [monologue; Unwanted grapefruit dooms would-be romance.]

     8) Mark Hansen - The Misadventures of a Mail-Order Monkey
          (M Hansen, D Fairchild, A Burton, J River, A Lawson.)
          [D is monkey, AB is monkey owner (or are they???), they 
relate to each other. comedy sketch.]


     9. Aprille Clarke (2) - That Sad Story of That Lady I Know
          (M Hansen, C Okiishi, A Clarke)
          [A and M assume positions that reflect C's lines, which 
describe a woman who has a lot of issues
          (serio-comedy sketch).]
    
      10. Arlen Lawson - Dickbreath --&-- the Devil
          (A Lawson)
          [A gets injured while trick-or-treating, meets the 
devil, and learns the True Meaning of Halloween
          (comedic monologue).(4:00)]

     11. Amanda - Improv Storytime
          (Amanda)
          [Amanda tells illustrated free-associative story, re: 
flying beans, poop.]

    12. Mike Cassady - One for the Cunni; Two for the Blow
          (Galbraith, Rust, River)
          [comedy sketch; "Dad, where do babies come from?" 
"Penises_ and vaginas!"]

      13. Dan Fairchild - Feed the Ape for a Quarter
          (Fairchild, Hansen, Lawson, River, Stangl, --)
          [comedy sketch; Ape eats too many peppers, pops.]

      14. Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Run Around Town
          (N"B" Campbell, A Galbraith)
          [N"B" energetically reminisces about abusive relatives 
and makeshift homes constructed of garbage and children (comedy 
sketch/monologue).(5:00)]

     15. Chris Stangl - Brown Dead Leaves and a Dirty Broom 
[6:20]
          (Stangl, River)
          [autobio monologue; Small town spook story of a body on 
a lawn passes between generations. River accompanies on kalimba.]

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 19:56:15 GMT     IP: 128.255.203.12

After running into Neil and Mike this afternoon and sharing a 
happy moment with them, I felt compelled to nominate for best of. 
 Because they told me to.
I haven't been to all the performances this semester.  But I 
skimmed the lineups of the ones I did attend, and cut and pasted 
in the manner of one Mr. Rust.  These were my absolute favorites 
from the semester.

Thomas Kovacs - The People vs. mIckey Mouse
Chris Stangl - Idiot Caleb's Yard Sale
Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Goblin in Me
Al Angel - Peeing John Malkovich: The Only Sketch That Matters
Aprille Clarke - She's So Gay and Retarded
Chris Stangl - The Girl Trouble Oracle [1:03]
Paul Rust - My Own Private Sitcom
Aprille Clarke - Youth Culture Killed My Lovelife
Dan Fairchild - Event Horizontal
Mike Cassady --&-- Neil Balls Campbell - Noh Rain Now
Paul Rust - I Wanna Rape Your Hand

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 20:16:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.133

 Alyssa Bowman - The Dan Fairchild
  Audrey Plumshower III - The Tale of the Giggly 
      Bumblefucker
 A.J. Morgan - The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid 
      Idiots
 Al Angel, Chris Stangl, Britt Hill - How... Do You 
      Spell Manifest Destiny?
 Chris Stangl - St. Valentine's Day Massacre
 Mike Cassady - One for the Cunni; Two for the Blow
If I forgot anything, then I nominate it as well. 

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 20:37:41 GMT     IP: 64.12.101.181

Paul Rust - Stammer
Aaron Galbraith - I Gave Up Pogs For Lent
Areli River - Out Cold
Alyssa Bowman - The Dan Fairchild
Mark Hansen - Groove Bowel and the Towel
Arlen Lawson - The Legend of Honest Tom
Chris Stangl - The Sensual Hitler; a war atrocity
Soccer Pele [Jamal River] - How to Hurt a Man
Dan Fairchild - Feed the Ape for a Quarter
Nella Christo Arbock - My Lovelife at Age Eight
Mike Cassady - One for the Cunni; Two for the Blow
Al Angel, Chris Stangl, Britt Hill - How... Do You Spell 
Manifest Destiny?
Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike "Thunder-tits" Cassady - We Fall 
Down, We Go Boom
Al Angel, Virgie Woolf, --&-- Noam Chomsky - Son of Nelson
Melissa Crownover - The Deadlies, Part Three: The Yellow Frog
Aprille Clarke - African Violence
Erin King - Chemistry Sucks
Chris "Dr. of GAYchology" Okiishi - This -&- That

I nominate the above.

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 20:41:21 GMT     IP: 64.6.68.16

I also carefully sifted through the orders....but I regret to 
say that there were at least three weeks which I was not in 
attendance...so...that disclaimer aside...astericks mean i loved 
the piece...like i would love my loverlovelove...they must be 
in...that is all.


BONS NOMINATIONS FOR SPRING 2001
or 
HOW I GOT MY DICK STUCK IN DAN FAIRCHILDS BLENDER
by: Mike Cassady

LIGHTS UP

       Nominations walks onto stage, announcing themselves.


Guide to Using the HawkID in ITCs  by Mark J. Hansen 
(MJ Hansen)
[MJ elaborates on various points in a stream-of-consciousness-
style monologue (monologue peppered with giggle-worthy moments)]



****Angel's Song  by Sam Negron 
(S Negron)
[S performs an acoustic-guitar-based song about a childhood 
friend with whom his love was cut short (musical performance)]



Cigar Boxes by Bradley Harris 
(B Harris)
[B does skill-based tricks with three boxes (skill 
performance).(4:00)]



****The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots  by A.J. 
Morgan 
(J River, A Galbraith, A Lawson, P Rust, M Cassady)
[J looks angry about the injustice in his life while P and M 
heartily enjoy jokes from a book (comedy sketch).(5:00)]



Bones by King Toad 
(J River, lots of others.)
[accompanied by an extensive percussion section, J performs a 
hit song from his hit album; musical performance.]



****Don't Tread on Me by Edmund Scott 
(JC Luxton)
[JC seeks acceptance in the Civil-War-Reenacters' amputee club 
(comedic monologue).(6:00)]

The Deadlies; Part One: The Blue Cow by Julie Shell {JC Luxton}
(Luxton, King)
[pornographic monologue; Sex acts explicitly described at 
unwitting audience member.]

The Deadlies, Part Two; The Orange Pig by Frank Schroeder {J.C. 
Luxton} 
(Luxton, Okiishi)
[comedy sketch; Man steals, eats pie, contracts negative body 
image.]



**Stammer by Paul Rust 
(P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith)
[when M and A foil P's sneaky plan to avoid their company, his 
reaction becomes debilitating (comedy sketch).(3:30)]

****Stanley Klugman: a Woman's Right... To Laugh! By Paul Rust 
(Rust, Galbraith, Clarke)
[comedy sketch; Aging stand-up livens material with on-stage 
abortion.]

**My Own Private Sitcom by Paul Rust 
(Rust)
[comic monologue; Psychosis/ desperation leads boy to enact 
family tragedy as one-man situation comedy.]

(from dead week) Crystal Pepsi by Paul Rust 
(Rust, ?)
[speech on genius of Billy Crystal leads to violence, idiocy; 
multi-media comedy sketch]



****Sorry, 185 Chandeliers, We Don't Serve `Menorah'-ties...  by 
Aaron Galbraith 
(Rust, Clarke, ?, Stangl, River, Cassady, Rust)
[comedy sketch; 6 idiotic blackout gags.]

I Gave Up Pogs For Lent by Aaron Galbraith 
(A Galbraith, N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.)
[Tracing 3 historical situations--Pythagoras, Columbus, and 
Jesus--N"B" gets drowned; comedy sketch.]



Fart `n' Stink: the Golden Age of Hollywood by Al Angel 
(Stangl, River, Cassady)
[comedy sketch; Cute old man loved-up, then beaten.]



****Event Horizontal by Dan Fairchild 
(D Fairchild, A Galbraith.)
[working sideways, the last two remaining soldiers discuss how 
to end their mission; comedy sketch.]

   BUT IF THAT WON'T WORK IN MABIE....:

****God in a Two-Bedroom Efficiency by Dan Fairchild 
(Fairchild, J. Hansen)
[comedy sketch; Why can God fuck your woman and drink your 
booze?]



We Fall Down, We Go Boom by  Neil "Balls" Campbell and Mike 
"Thunder-tits" Cassady 
(Campbell, Cassady, Rust, Galbraith, King, Clarke)
[comedy sketch; Have goons smashed valuable birdie? No, it's 
just PAUL RUST!]



The Girl Trouble Oracle by Chris Stangl 
(Stangl, Lawson)
[comedy sketch; Liquor solves shyness, pregnancy.]

****Brown Dead Leaves and a Dirty Broom by Chris Stangl 
(Stangl, River)
[autobio monologue; Small town spook story of a body on a lawn 
passes between generations. River accompanies on kalimba.]



Amanda's Storytime by Amanda 
(Amanda)
[comedy improv; Extemporaneous tale of "Arlen's Fat Butt" 
involves Arlen's consumption of squirrel pee.]



****Things That Were Wrong With `Batman and Robin'  by Joel 
Schumacher 
(Jake Livermore, Steve Heuertz)
[comedy sketch; George Clooney and Arnold Schwartzenegger are 
those things. Blackout.]



****Putty by Lisa Day]
(Day, ?)
[monologue; Unwanted grapefruit dooms would-be romance.]



Coming Soon by Adam Burton 
(Okiishi, Clarke, Cassady, Weird Al)
[comedy sketch; Trailer for film featuring sunblock superheroes 
and "Floppy Porn Guy."]



This Is Who We Are by Neil "Balls" Campbell 
(Campbell, Thompson, Lawson, Cassady, Galbraith, ?)
[comedy sketch; Parade of horrors commonplace and extraordinary 
all lost in apathy at restaurant.]

The Stare by Neil "Balls" Campbell 
(N"B" Campbell.)
[illuminated from below, sitting upstage right, N"B" delivers a 
monologue about staring through a car windshield.; dramatic 
monologue.]

****Thunder Town by Neil "Balls" Campbell 
(N"B" Campbell, J River.)
[in a series of mini-monologues in a variety of voices, N 
wonders about space cats, alcoholic parents, scary lightning, 
and tit-sucking; serio-comic monologue]



****The Tale of the Giggly Bumblefucker by Audrey Plumshower III 
(N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.)
[N"B" and M reveal the true source of Dr. Chris Oki Ishi's 
massive libido; comedy sketch.]



****Chemistry Sucks by Erin King 
(M Brooks, S Griffin, P Rust, M Cassady, E King.)
[All but E represent variously charged sub-atomic particles; E 
describes; comedy sketch.]



Robbie Had a Baby --&-- The Head Popped Off by Alyssa Bowman 
(M Cassady, D Fairchild, N"B" Campbell, ???)
[There was fat man pee, ugly babies, and Tom Kovacs involved.]



****The Inside Story by Christopher Okiishi 
(C Okiishi, A Galbraith, A Clarke, ?.)
[C and A fight for control of their body--wackiness ensues; 
comedy sketch]
   (ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE SEEN OF CHRIS'S WRITING....WELL 
THOUGHT OUT...CLEVER USE OF HUMAN ARCHETECTURE...)


****Public Darling/Private Dick by Aprille Clarke 
(A Galbraith, A Clarke, J River.)
[Film-noir-style, a woman and private dick try to solve a crime; 
comedy sketch]



(also from dead week) Having the Mime of Your Life or Aunt Je-
Mime-ma by "Arlen Lawson"_ or Chris Stangl, Jamal River, Alyssa 
Bowman, with music by The A Capella Becks  
(River, Stangl, audience participation by Ryan Greenlaw)
[two mimes and a truckload of trouble!; mimetic comedy]


that is all i know.  i liked all of these pieces.  i like to see 
them again.  Turtle Power!

-mke csdy

Time: Mon, 16-Apr-2001 23:05:09 GMT     IP: 205.244.167.87

First, I would like to thank all of you who took the time to list 
your picks for the best of no shame, spring 2001 edition.

However, I have finally gotten around to making MY choices, so we 
can now gratefully ignore all of yours.

Some of these pieces may work again, some may not.  Some may need 
revision, some may not.  Yet, they are all my picks, and deserve 
to be in bons, whereas everybody else's do not.  Even if I picked 
some of the same things as other people.

BARBOUR:  "He Woke Up and He was In Love"  (12/01/01)
HANSEN (M):  "Agnes Moorhead is NOT a Euphemism"  (12/01/01)
"Groove Bowel and the Towel"  (02/16/01)
RUST:  "Crystal Pepsi"  (12/01/01)
"My Own Private Sitcom"  (03/23/01)
"There is no Reason Why Anyone Should Ever be Unhappy"  
(04/13/01)
RIVER:  "The Curative Properties of Stupid, Stupid Idiots"  
(02/02/01)
"Deedeedeedeedee"  (03/02/01)
"Stillnesss A Mop A Kay"  (03/23/01)
ANGEL:  "Oysters On The Half Shell"  (02/02/01)
"Peeing John Malcovich"  (02/09/01)
"The TRUE Love Trilogy"  (03/23/01)
"The Trilogy of Dan Fairchild"  (04/13/01)
PLUMSHOWER:  "The Tale of Giggly Bumblefucker"  (03/30/01)
SCOTT (Edmund):  "Don't Tread On Me"  (02/02.01)
CLARKE:  "The Needle, The Fluid, The Way We Were"  (02/02/01)
"Public Darling/Private Dick"  (04/13/01)
CAMPBELL:  "The Goblin In Me"  (02/09/01)
OKIISHI:  "This Will Only Hurt for a Moment"  (02/09/01)
"This and That"  (04/06/01)
ARBOCK:  "My Lovelife at Age 4"  (02/09/01)
"My Lovelife at Age 16"  (03/23/01)
AMANDA:  "Improv Storytime"  (02/02/01)
BOWMAN:  "The Dan Fairchild"  (02/02/01)
STANGL:  "The Sensual Hitler"  (02/09/01)
"The ATM Outside Secret Nails"  (03/02/01)
"Brown Leaves and A Dirty Broom"  (03/23/01)
NEPSTED:  "A LOVE Poem"  (02/23/01)
FAIRCHILD:  "Feed the Ape for a Quarter"  (02/23/01)
"Nobody Puts Baby In the Corner"  (03/23/01)
"800 Feet Deep"  (03/30/01)
GALBRAITH:  "Sorry 185 Chandeliers, We Don't Serve 
'Menorah'-ties"  (03/02/01)
"I Gave Up Pogs for Lent"  (04/13/01)
LAWSON:  "Genre, Part One"  (03/23/01)
"Genre, Pare Three"  (04/06/01)
TOAD:  "Bones"  (04/06/01)
BRENNEMAN:  "Crazy Times in Wackyville"  (04/13/01)
Ms. Inimef:  "Crouching Diaper, Hidden Tampon"  (04/13/01)

And Also A Few Collaborations_
CASSADY -&- CAMPBELL:  "Noh Rain Now"  (04/06/01)
HILL -&- STANGL -&- ANGEL:  "How_  Do You Spell Manifest Destiny?"  
(03/02/01)
KING TOAD -&- TOMATOMAN -&- NOZEBONE THE BAND:  "Song Trade"  
(12/01/01)

I realize that many of you were probably a tad upset over my 
blatant conceit at the top of this post.  Well, as you've now 
well seen, I put more work into this than you did, and my 
nominations ARE a hell of a lot better.  Bye.

--Me.  The Only One.

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 00:42:54 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.92

Hey Folks
 
This is still up in the air, but it looks like the meeting to 
decide BONS will happen Wednesday night, so don't dilly-dally 
around with those nominations! Make them known NOW! Actually, 
the response has been great thus far, just keep it up!  Okay!

Also: scholarship deadline is this Friday. Get your application 
in ASAP! You can give it to one of the board members at the show 
on Friday, or email it to one/all of us, or place it any time 
day or night in the No Shame Mailbox, which resides at the 
bottom of the middle column of mailboxes at the end of the 
hallway that leads to the theatre lounge. Hurry up with that!

Remember: 10 page writing sample (this can be ANYTHING, No Shame-
related or not -- except collabortions of any sort) -&- a cover 
letter in which you sing your own praises! No transcript 
necessary!

Balls

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 03:29:20 GMT     IP: 64.6.72.135

yeah...in addition to that long-as-an-eskimo's-dick post i put 
up earlier today....i just remembered that one of Al's short 
trilogy pieces would be good...

i think that either the him and nick clark in love one or the 
mark hansen/dead guy/me one would be well....actually....correct 
me if you're wrong, but i feel like the him and nick clark in 
love one would go over better a second time....but thats just my 
fucking opinion.

my hands wrote this,

-mom

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 04:00:00 GMT     IP: 216.34.56.12

Hello, Nella Arbock here.  A note to the board and all nominating 
parties: I do NOT want my pieces from this semester considered for 
BONS.  They were a single-dose kind of thing.

My nominaciones (made by looking over scribbled notes taken during 
my limited attendance this semester - good luck deciphering)

My sitcom
Kurse of Kovacs Klan
Amanda's story
Brad Adita
The Dan Fairchild
Mail Order Monkey
No Rain
Sensual Hitler
Menorah-ties
Brown Dead Leaves
Chemistry
Batman and Robin
Coming Soon


Please also include some music.  It could be Chris O's keyboard bit 
or the song exchange.  Or Bones.  I liked all of these.  I'm not 
sure if they would be willing, or if such a thing is kosher, but I 
would like to nominate the Nozebone the Band song that the 
instrumental part was played to during my 'Age Twelve' thing.  That 
song is called 'Teresa of Avila' and it is awesome.

smoochies,
     -Nella

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 05:19:46 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.213

:Hi. This is Paul again. I wanted to bring up an idea that I had 
:at Friday's No Shame. In the dressing room before the show, I 
:heard Aprille say, "Let Kevin Swatek get in line because he's 
:been here since I've been." I thought this was really cool of 
:Aprille b/c I (and I'm sure others) have perhaps been in the 
:same position as Kevin. That being... a performer is present in 
:the dressing room before many others, but because late-comers 
:get ahead in the rashly-made line at the right time, the early-
:comers are turned away. Now I'm not complaining about the past 
:or anything. I understand that this has been the normal, 
:undisputed practice, so it's useless to get upset. And I'm sure 
:I've been one to cut in front of people who have been there 
:before me, too. I just figured I should throw out my idea and 
:see if the board members would want to take up the new idea. 
:Plus, upcoming dead week would prolly be a good time to 
:experiment the idea.
:So... (after much explanation), here's my idea. On the wall of 
:the dressing room at a certain time (10:00-10:30), someone puts 
:up a slip of paper with the numbers 1,2,3... 15. As a person 
:walks in, he/she rips off one number for their piece.. until all 
:fifteen numbers are taken up. That way, first come, first 
:served.  The number doesn't necessarily signify your exact 
:placement in the order, just yr. time to put a piece in. And to 
:make things fair, only one person can rip off one number.
:I realize this sounds highly anal, but I think its a good idea. 
:Feel free to voice your feelings for and against this idea, so 
:the board members know what the performers would want. Then, 
:maybe they could decide later in the week.
:Thanks - Paul

Yeah, on behalf of the board, Paul, you can fuck off.  Don't tell 
us how to run our shit, just do what we say and like it.






Actually I think this would be a grand idea.  Even though I don't 
think many have been getting turned away lately, it's a pain in 
the ass to have to wait in line unfairly when you want to go 
rehearse shit before the show.  Now that I think about it, would 
anyone be in favor of taking the order at 10:15 instead of 10:30?

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 15:55:41 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.120

Actually, Paul, suggesting changes to the line policy has become 
something of an annual tradition -- there was a lengthy 
discussion here last year regarding changing the line policy, 
with many suggestions similar to yours. In the end, it was 
decided (by the board members, anyway) that pretty much any  
policy other than the one we have now would be too complicated, 
or too easily abused. Taking numbers from off the wall wouldn't 
work too well, for these reasons: a) someone could just take 
five numbers and give them to their friends when they arrive, b) 
there are usually more than 15 pieces anyway counting point-
fives, so after number 15 is drawn there would still be the same 
problems we have now amongst the final few people, and c) Chris 
Stangl and I don't wait in line to turn in our pieces, as he is 
the almighty order-taker and I am usually running around 
unlocking things, turning on lights, grabbing furniture, etc, so 
having 15 numbers on the wall would actually be too many (and 
you couldn't just make it 13 either, because there will always 
be those weeks when other board members are running around doing 
stuff too and don't have time to wait in line). But at the same 
time, thanks to b), 15 numbers is too few as well. Pretty much 
all I'm trying to say is that chaos will always reign -- we 
could change the policy but all that would do is create new 
forms of chaos. The policy we have now ain't perfect, but it's 
as close as we're going to get.   

Actually, I guess we did make one improvement to the way order 
used to be taken: used to be, the order-taker didn't even have 
one set place where he sat every week, so there was even more 
chaos in determining how to best position yourself for the 
inevitable madcap rush. Now at least everyone knows where Chris 
will sit, and can prepare themselves accordingly.

Also, Stubble, I don't think changing the time order is taken 
would be beneficial. I personally feel that if a piece requires 
more than the usual amount of rehearsal time, that is the 
responsibility of the writer to arrange, not No Shame. No Shame, 
as they say, is about making "cheap, raw, and unpredictable" 
theatre, and arranging for people to have more rehearsal time 
would soften the "raw" part. I know it's not always easy to 
organize, but if a piece requires any elaborate rehearsal time 
that should be done before it's handed in. Personally, I'm in 
favor of opening the doors earlier so we can actually start the 
show AT eleven (something that has been too often a rarity in 
recent times), thereby lessening the amount of rehearsal time 
between taking the order and starting the show.

Okey-doke.

Neil

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 17:03:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.248

Dear Balls, and everyone else who gives a hoot on the matter,

I believe you speak much truth about why numbers on the wall would 
not work.  I forgot that that was discussed before, but you're 
absolutely right about chaos, etc.

However!  I think taking the order at 10:15 could only have one 
negative effect, and I'll tell you why:

The one bad thing that could arise is that during phases of No 
Shame when it becomes really competitive to get pieces in, people 
would feel obligated to come all the earlier which is a pain in 
the ass, and there might be some who, due to their schedules, 
would be getting turned away often (the head-of-the-line-next-week 
clause might not work too great if they can't be there when the 
line forms).

Ideally, though, this will result in people coming when they 
normally do (I think the lounge is usually pretty full at 10:15) 
and people can take advantage of the extra time however they like.

I do not think allowing for extra rehearsal time would take away 
from the "raw"ness of No Shame one cheese rarebit.  This does not 
mean that they HAVE TO rehearse their pieces before the show.  
This simply gives them time if they WANT TO.  Yes, it is the 
responsibility of the writer to organize rehearsal, but that can 
be a damn hard thing to do sometimes, since you don't want to 
plan on rehearsing before order is taken, or you risk getting a 
shitty spot in line.  I think there's more to gain from giving 
people a few extra minutes to polish their pieces than from 
throwing unpreparedness onstage with the hopes that it will be 
"raw and unpredictable".  I assert that there's little we could do 
to take away the R -&- U qualities of No Shame Theatre.

Also.  Since I am the only board member currently lobbying for 
this at the moment, I would gladly volunteer my services as order 
taker if need be.

Feedback?  Am I fighting a meaningless battle?

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 18:38:32 GMT     IP: 64.0.99.137

I like 10:15.

Time: Tue, 17-Apr-2001 19:57:06 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.150

10:15 is a good time to take the order, especially if you want 
the show to actually start at 11:00.  However, in the spirit of 
fairness, I wouldn't take the order at 10:15 this week.  It'd be 
something to start next year, perhaps.  The reason for taking the 
order at 10:30 this week should be obvious- those who never visit 
the board room will never know that the order is being taken 
early, so they'd have to wait all summer to get a crack at being 
in the show, if they think the order's being taken at the normal 
time.  This would be unfair to any potential newbies.

That's that-
TK

Time: Wed, 18-Apr-2001 03:16:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.189.133

Okay, I know no one's going to care cause everyone thinks I'm a 
nazi-racist-gaybashing-plagerizer (spelling?), but...

Batman and Robin--Provided they add the name of their skit to 
the skit so people will think it's funny, which i think it is.

I don't remember the name, but the one w/ dan faircild in it 
talking about how gary oldman always dies in movies.

"A LOVE Poem"; cause it's about me.  No, not really.  I think it 
was pretty good, though.  The fact that i was dying laughing 
during it even though she was roasting me must mean it's pretty 
funny.

A. Lawson (name's prolly wrong) Umm, the sci-fi one with the 
time machine; that one stuck in my mind for like a week after i 
heard it.  I think it was Genre:3 or sumthing like that.

Amanda - Improv Storytime; but cause it's improv, it might not 
be funny next time.

Chris Stangl:The Sensual Hitler; a War Atrocity (good lord, no

Chris Okiishi:This Will Only Hurt For a Moment.  i have so much 
respect for this guy, as long as he's ion the show, i don't 
really care what he does.

Paul Rust; the one where he plays a birdie/lost person, or the 
one where he give aprille an abortion onstage (lot of abortion 
stuff this sem).  God, i wish i could remember skits names.

You Know What I Hate? by Pookman.  No, just kidding, i know it 
sucked.

That's pretty much all i can think of, thanks.  Oh, and 
sidenote: Yes, that Superman joke was done before as MANY people 
pointed out to me after the show, but I seriously had never 
heard it before.  Don't have to beleive me, but i wish you would.