Time: Sun, 01-Jul-2001 18:00:47 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162


Well, Nick, I'm afraid the only real element of verisimilitude in 
your dream is my virulent anti-Semitism. I've been spreading anti-
Zionist historical fictions like the one you described for a good 
year since graduation, via my association with programs such as 
the Peace Corps, Teach For America, Teach For Canada, Teach 
Canadians Not to Fuck With America, Teach Armenians to Hate the 
Jews, Teach the Turks to Hate Everybody, Yell Stuff Out During 
the Toast at Your Friend's Wedding For Example "Jews Suck!", and 
The Internet Capitalized Here to Create an Impression of Novelty. 
All of this, of course, stems from my association with that 
wily "European Banker" Mike Rothschild, who so consistently beat 
me at poker that I swore a blood oath against him and all his 
heathen, Fagin-like brethren.

That's not true, of course. Mike Rothschild rarely beat me at 
poker.

Dan

PS: These have the most nostalgia-soaked five minutes I've 
allowed myself in months.

PPS: We should all stop using periods in acronyms like "P.S.".

Time: Sun, 01-Jul-2001 18:17:08 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162


A fascinating Dan-o Fact-o:

The end of the summer after my junior year in college -- that 
same summer when I had my internship in New York and was, 
consequently, really really REALLY poor (I rebuked the illusion 
of the three-meal day) -- I was walking through SoHo, thinking 
about how much I hated the extremely wealthy through-no-fault-of-
their-own SoWhores, when who should I see walking down the street 
but Zach DeLaRocha, of Rage Against the Machine Fame. (This was 
the summer of Woodstock '99, held that weekend upstate. I can 
only assume that's why he was in New York, and not in a hot-tub 
filled with Jello, models and organic green tea in LA.) I am not 
a big Rage Against the Machine fan, despite rocking out to their 
first album pretty frequently in high school, mostly because of 
their poorly-thought-out politics and hypocritcal posturing, and 
it was very hot and I was very tired and hungry so my own 
personal anti-mechanical rage was well-fueld. So I kind of got 
into one of those staring matches that young men on the sidewalks 
of New York get into during the summer, where both guys are 
looking each other in the eye and each is firmly resolved not to 
step aside even if it means some sort of profound shoulder-impact 
there on the street. Which, in this case, it did. So I walk into 
Mr. DeLaRocha, and he looks at me like the big, tough, pampered 
rock star he is, and says, "What?" The exchange continued in this 
fashion:

Me: Zach DeLaRocha?
ZDLR: Yeah? (Delivered at same volume and pitch used to make the 
word "Unnnh!" mean "Free Leonard Peltier immediately" on 
the "Freedom" single.)
Me: Rage Against the Machine Zach DeLaRocha?
ZDLR: Yeah?
Me: You went to Harvard, right? (The worst kind of self-righteous 
class indignation, here. Almost as bad as the RATM kind.)
ZDLR: Yeah?
     Beat.
Me: Pussy.
ZDLR: Asshole.

We parted ways. This was not cool behavior on my part, but it was 
really satisfying.

There's a moral in there somewhere, I think

Dan

Time: Sun, 01-Jul-2001 23:45:40 GMT     IP: 152.163.204.73

Rarely? Maybe I didn't beat you, say, often...but Oli whipped us 
constantly. So there.

Here's a nightmare for you all: someone I went to both highschool 
AND college with is going to be on the new season of Real World, 
set in NY. I barely knew her in high school, and she came up to 
me one time at Iowa and tried to talk to me as if she'd known me 
for years, all the while calling me "Mark". It was awkward, and I 
walked away citing some lame excuse about having to study or 
masturbate. 

So that's my brush off with fame.

Time: Mon, 02-Jul-2001 04:13:37 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.42

It didn't strike me as Dan being anti-semitic in the dream, though 
maybe the fact that I imagined the story means that anti-semitism 
lurks in the back of my subconcious.  Though the detail that these 
were Jewish people really just added the historical texture to 
make the story seem genuine.  I don't mean in any way to detract 
from the fact that Dan is a rabid anti-semite, who - for close 
friends - will sing his song "Thank Christ I'm Not a Jew".  The 
song would be funny if Dan didn't seem to believe so 
wholeheartedly in its message.

Ni

Time: Sat, 07-Jul-2001 03:58:50 GMT     IP: 24.19.21.74

     Yeah it's hot.  You want to sleep all day.  It's more 
impending to wash your sheets than to take a shower, because 
although showering would make you clean, sleeping in them makes 
you dirty.  

     There's a sure fire way to get back on track.  What is it 
Paul? "My IMAGINATION."  Thanks.  It's about time for a little 
Summer No Shame.  I can already taste it.  Strong and smooth, 
but with a hint of fruit.


     So get your ass in gear, It's time to be entertained!

David Fish

Time: Sun, 08-Jul-2001 21:04:10 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.65

Yes, you heard right! Summer No Shame WILL be at David Fish's 
house, every week, starting this Friday! He will do a little show 
for you! He will make a little song, do a little dance! "Mr. 
Fish's IMAGINATION Theatre Of Shame!No!" Theatre! You will come! 
You WILL be entertained! That is Mr. Fish's promise to YOU!

Yours, 
D. Fish Enterprises Ltd. 

Time: Sun, 08-Jul-2001 23:11:20 GMT     IP: 207.191.211.207

I want to believe that, Mr. Fish.

Time: Tue, 10-Jul-2001 03:16:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.106.34

   How's that coming, the New York No Shame thing?  The Web Site 
says it's coming in June, but it's July now and I want to know how 
it's coming and that's all I have really to say.  

Arlen "Jean-Pierre" Lawson

Time: Tue, 10-Jul-2001 21:53:56 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.65

There's a brand new King Toad song ("Mary's Skull") from the 
forthcoming King Toad album ("Down With The Ship") up at 
mp3.com. Does html work on this message board? I don't know. If 
it does, you can follow a 
href="http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/112/king_toad.html"this 
link/a to hear the song. And a 
href="http://www.angelfire.com/ia/kingtoad"this link/a to 
read about the new album, which will be out on Sunday July 22nd. 
I have a feeling html does not work on this message board, which 
would make this message less fun to look at. 

Time: Tue, 10-Jul-2001 22:01:11 GMT     IP: 4.4.74.65

Does html work on this message board?

No. Sad. 

Well, you can hear the song at mp3.com.
You can read info about the album at 
www.angelfire.com/ia/kingtoad.
It's so much fun for you, I peed my pants in vicarious excitement.

Yes!

Jamal 

Time: Wed, 11-Jul-2001 01:59:49 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.70

Right.  So, I listened to this song.  It is really good.  I will 
buy this album.  Other people should oughta buy that album too.  
Most of the people who will buy the album probably know already 
that they ought to.  On a not entirely related subject, I heard a 
really really really super cool song by Jamal called something 
like "Out Beyond the Power Lines".  It is my favorite thing by 
Jamal of all time, though I am led to understand that it comes 
from a musical period of which he is now ashamed, and of which he 
would be loath to allow a record of to be distributed.  For 
Shame!!!
On another distantly related note, if you haven't heard Nozebone's 
tracks "Codependent / Divorce Song" and "Widower Moon" in their 
album incarnations, these are on the Nozebone website now.  
http://envu.nu/lucre/nozebone ... Hear the tunes, buy the album, 
sex the band.

-Rev. N

Time: Fri, 13-Jul-2001 18:33:15 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

That song is cool with a captital COOL! Where do I buy an album?

Katy

Time: Tue, 17-Jul-2001 17:56:02 GMT     IP: 207.170.61.250

:Where do I buy an album?

I had not checked this board lately or I woulduv said sooner:
"You can buy one from a website of www.angelfire.com/ia/kingtoad. 
Or from me the person. At No Shame or whatever. I should probably 
put albums in local stores as I have in the past. And maybe I 
will. But it is a drag dealing with the stores, so I donut know. 
No. End quote. And thanks you for your innerest, ma'am! Yez yez! 

-Rivver. 

Time: Sat, 21-Jul-2001 07:17:29 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.163

While I'm mentioning dreams that involve NS people, I ought to 
note that Aaron Galbraith has been making regular cameos in my 
dreams as the old-school reporter with the press pass in his hat.  
The dreams differ from night to night, but there's always an 
insignificant, but deftly played reporter somewhere in the 
background.  Wierd.                                                                 

Time: Sun, 22-Jul-2001 01:34:10 GMT     IP: 207.28.96.206

I hope I got to be the guy in "Airplane 2: the Sequel" that walks 
up to the other guy in the courtroom and says "Photo for the daily 
news?" and the other guy says "Sure!" so he hands the other guy a 
photo and the other guy hands him a copy of the daily news.  Was 
that in your dream, Nick?  Huh?  Man, that's a good movie.  Also, 
I was watching Joe vs. the Volcano last night, and the part at the 
beginning where the guy is on the phone and keeps saying "I'm not 
arguing that with you...I'm not arguing that with you...I know he 
can get the job but can he do the job!...I'm not arguing that with 
you...Was I wrong?...Was he wrong?...I'm not arguing that with 
you...Would I be wrong in saying that?" is really funny.  And 
Robert Stack is in that movie and he doesn't even have to be funny 
to be funny, because do you know what I mean?  Because I mean who 
can even take Unsolved Mysteries seriously with that guy?  Did you 
hey did you guys see Caddyshack 2?  That really sucked.  The first 
one was funny because they strayed from the original plot which 
was about caddies which is why they originally called it 
Caddyshack originally and eventually kept it the same title that 
is but so I heard Bill Murray's part was 100% improvised and holy 
jesus in a straitjacket is Harold Ramis fat now!  But see the 
second Caddyshack was the same exact plot as the first one but 
that sucks when you recycle a plot like that it just doesn't work 
the second time especially when you replace Bill Murray with Dan 
Aykroyd and Rodney Dangerfield with Jackie Mason and young funny 
Chevy Chase with old not as funny Chevy Chase but Lord is Robert 
Stack awesome.  I think I still like Ted Knight better in 
Caddyshack 1 because it was just a better all around movie do you 
know what I mean because it was and Robert Stack was really 
kickass but also Randy Quaid was a little funny when he freaked 
out and violently threatened everyone and I'm just going to keep 
writing until Cassady comes over so we can watch Joe vs. the 
Volcano again but see like when Leslie Neilson is the serious 
doctor in Airplane and I can't remember right now if he's in 
Airplane 2: the sequel or not maybe he isn't because he's a lot 
funnier in Airplane when he's all serious but they made him do a 
bunch of hammy crap in the Naked Gun movies and they were funny 
but not as funny because I don't know Leslie just looked like a 
big fruitcake driving a peanut wagon if do you know what I mean 
what would Ghostbusters have been like if they would have had John 
Belushi play Bill Murray's part?  Do you ever wonder that?  I do 
because I was told that they originally wrote it for John Belushi 
but they had to change it and find a new Bill Murray when the John 
Belushi died.  I bet Dan Aykroyd was pretty sad.  They had just 
gotten done filming Blues Brothers together.  That's got to be 
hard in show business when everyone is dying all the time.  I 
thin

Time: Sun, 22-Jul-2001 12:10:10 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.103

Yes, Harold Ramis is fat.  I remember the first time I saw him as 
a "fatty" was in "Groundhog Day" (he does a "cameo" as Bill 
Murray's doctor). I was sitting in the theatre and being a fifth 
grader when all of the sudden, I see ol' Mr. Ramis. But I was 
thrown for a loop. "He is much too fat," I thought. This couldn't 
be the skinny Ramey-Ramis I knew and loved from 
his "Ghostbusters" (and to a lesser extent, "Baby Boom") days. 
But then I put the pieces together in my tiny, 1993 head. And 
these pieces are as follows: 1) Ahhh yes, he IS the director of 
this film, so perhaps he's sneaking himself in, 2) it's been 
awhile since I've seen him and like most men of his age, they 
become fatties, and 3) those unmistakable eyes - you know who you 
are, Harold T. Ramis!  
So I figured, "Yes, that is Harold Ramis. And now he is a fatty. 
A big fatty." Looks like he went back to the buffet... Egon and 
Egon and Egon (play on the word "again" as Ramis' character Egon 
in "Ghostbusters" - not very clever). 
Ugh. Why did I write all this? Why am I obsessing over Harold 
Ramis' weight problem? Why am I still up at seven in the morning? 
Oh yeah, now I remember. I'm visiting an old friend in Des Moines 
and I can't sleep. Jesus Christ. Holy Mary. I can't sleep.

Time: Tue, 24-Jul-2001 00:50:38 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.25

Whilst surfing the Aud Shelly website, I came upon a description 
of an honorary member who was described as the bass player for 
the Subordinates.  I followed the link to his website.  This is 
the link: http://www.angelfire.com/oh/xJPSx/index2.html  Now try 
that link and tell me what's wrong.  Paul Rust, how could you be 
in an awesome band that is a theif?  The band of you stole an 
entire name of some completely not including Paul Rust band 
(though the bass player is still a tall guy who wears glasses, 
but I don't think it is the same tall guy with glasses.  The Paul 
Rust including Subordinates' bass player was really neat.  He 
jumped up and down and did a scissor kick with his legs.  He also 
played the bass guitar.  But I don't think that's him on that 
website.  I'm sorry, scissor-kicking neat guy, I don't buy it.)  
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop.
-Nick                                                                                                  
...................................................

Time: Thu, 26-Jul-2001 02:20:50 GMT     IP: 208.50.104.133

This is Paul. When I first read the subject title to which I'm 
replying ("paul rust is a thief"), my heart started to beat 
heavily. I thought Nicko was referring to my last post about 
Harold Ramis' weight problem. I thought he had read that memory 
somewhere else on the Internet. And maybe he thought I was 
plagarizin' (or THIEVIN') someone else's memories! Or worse! 
Maybe someone was stealing my memories, buying them dinner, and 
fingering them for a good time! (Oh, dear. I am so dirty and foul-
mouthed) But then I relaxed a little (and met more folks like me) 
and realized my memories are my memories! No one's takin' 'em!
But what if Nick-chopolis was alluding to something else. Maybe 
he thinks I'm a thief of something else. After all, I've stolen 
many a heart. And I don't mean that figuratively in the love 
sense. I've seriously stolen hearts and sold them on the black 
market. How else do you think Larry Hagman got that heart a few 
years ago?
But then I finally talked myself down, "Geeze, Paul, why don't 
you just read Saint Nick's message?! Maybe he's just kidding 
around and he isn't really accusing you of thievery!"
So, I read the message and realized he didn't mean any of that. I 
appreciate the information though. I never knew there was another 
band called The Subordinates. 
-Paul
p.s. the subordinates are broken up now, but there's a webpage of 
us if you're interested in a morbid/i-am-interested-in-passed 
things sort of way (www.mp3.com/thesubordinates)
p.p.s. the bass player in the subordinates (pieter) is indeed cool

Time: Sun, 29-Jul-2001 08:48:57 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.5

   I am the No Shame Theater.  I am fun for you.  I am still 
another month and probably one month and one half month away for 
when it is my regular time.  How about you fuckers get together 
some over the summer.  You may call this delightful manifestation 
of me "Summer Shame."  You will love it.  You will ejaculate into 
my mouth.  And I will ejaculate into your mouth.  And we will 
have had some good fun, but will have also learned something.  
Learned something about ejaculating into each other's mouth, that 
is.

No Shame

Time: Mon, 30-Jul-2001 15:33:57 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162


Well, funny thing about the New York No Shame, which is that it 
ain't happenin' yet. It's sort of predicated on having space to 
do it in, which is of course at a premium. My essential 
priorities in life right now are as follows:
1) Finish Fringe Festival show.
2) Rebuild upstairs theater at PS 122.
3) Try to convince boss to let No Shame occur Friday nights in 
space discussed in item #2.

Unfortunately, numbers one and two are going to take up most of 
my time until around September 1st, at which time I will be able 
to pick up the pieces of a life shattered by theatre, glue them 
back together and then look for another hammer while the glue 
sets.

In my opinion, everybody should read "The Sound and the Fury."

Dan

Time: Tue, 31-Jul-2001 01:28:07 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.47

"The Sound -&- the Fury"?
Who else has read this little Faulkner thingy?  I'll assume 
Danno has.  But the best is to read this novel, then watch the 
movie.  It's a truly mind-boggling experience that will destroy 
your faith in humanity.
     Do I reccommend reading "Sound + Furry"?  Not outside 
of the aforementioned worldview shattering exercise.  It falls 
into the general category of literature like "Portrait of the Artist 
as a Young Man", "Snow White", "White Noise" and, to a 
lesser extent "Almost Transparent Blue" that presumes that 
by forcing an audience to labor in order to comprehend your 
work, you can endow a weak, unimpressive story without any 
real payoff into a tremendously satisfying and poignant  work 
of art.  This is total bullshit and I spit on these sadistic 
bastards, Faulkner, Joyce, Murakami, Barthelme, but most of 
all, I spit on DeLillo.  Don DeLillo can eat my boogers.  There 
are simply much more humane ways of endowing weak, 
unimpressive stories with poignancy, and if an author is not 
going to show me the courtesy of of doing so, I don't see why 
I should show him/her the courtesy of reading his/her work.

Sorry to go off on such a rant.
Now you know how I feel.
-Nick