Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 04:25:43 GMT     IP: 128.255.187.193

al angel writes:

I enjoyed the details (i.e., toni playing every role other than 
MM), but found the overarching concept rather hackneyed.  

~~~~~

ring, ring

"Hello?"

"Hey, is this the pot?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"This is the kettle.  How's it going?"

"Pretty good, how are things going for you?"

"Alright.  I just wanted to call and tell you that you're black"

"Hey, can you hold for a second? I've got Irony on the other 
line."

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 07:31:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.178.222

I reccomend
Jose Calcutta --&-- Silas Cricky-Cracky - Your Rent is Due 
(AKA "Its time for lunch" by Stangl. From Sept 21.

and
Jason Nebergall - I Am Awesome -&- Thus You Should Like 
Me from Oct 19.

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 08:22:46 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.53

Tight rolled...
NO SHAME THEATRE

11/30/2001

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

"The Little Match Girl," a play written by Neil "Balls" 
Campbell, directed by Mike Cassady, and featuring several 
No Shame performers, will be performed Saturday, 12/1/01, 
at 5:30 and 8 p.m. in room 172 Theatre Building.  Tickets on 
sale one hour before the show.

"Spinning Into Butter," by former No Shame writer Rebecca 
Gilman, is at the Riverside Theatre this weekend and next 
weekend, $10 student rush tickets available.  See 
www.riversidetheater.org for more info.

The Rockadiles (featuring Seth Brenneman) are playing 
tomorrow night (Sat., 12/1) at Gabes.  Doors open at 9 p.m.

Next week (12/7) is Dead Week, meaning pieces performed 
next week will not be eligible for Best of No Shame, which 
will be 12/14.  Please post your suggestions for BONS here 
before Sunday night, when the board will meet to choose 
the BONS order.

ORDER

0.5. "007:  The Spy Who Loved Poop; or Austin Powers:  The 
Spy Who SHAGGED Poop," by Al Angel-A Angel, AJM River.  
[Al is not a toilet, but AJM prepares to poop on him anyway; 
comedy sketchito]

1. "The Ape Man's Cafˇ Z," by Alyssa -&- Jamal Bowman-C 
Okiishi, C Stangl [CO and CS yell about food and butt stuff; 
CS's hands are partway through his sleeves; comedy 
sketch]

2. "The Turkey," by Rob Frisch-C Larabee, C Okiishi [CL 
makes CO act like a seagull, but really more like a turkey; 
comedy sketch]

3. "Stacey's Place," by Michele Thompson-M Thompson, A 
Lawson, S Brenneman.  [Stacey of the Carrot Kids moves to 
a new town and sells carrot juice; comedy sketch]

4. "Psychotherapy," by Jeff Kite-J Kite, S Griffin.  [J as 
patient and S as psychiatrist are hostile and 
passive-aggressive about killing each other, selves; 
comedy sketch]

5. "The Weird School Day," by Maria Hill!-T Wilson, A 
Clarke, M Thompson, A Galbraith, M Cassady, P Rust, C 
Stangl, N"B" Campbell, J Erwin, ??.  [Third grade students 
are stupid, but it's ok-doom for sixth graders; comedy 
sketch]

6. "Re-Education," by Christopher Okiishi-C Okiishi.  [C's 
job takes him to junior high, which jogs memories of 
experiences, illicits sympathy for kids, and arouses 
attraction to teachers; monologue]

6.5. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow Trout," by Matthew 
Hart-M Hart, J Nebergall.  [M makes puns, J wreaks 
revenge on M, self; comedy sketchito]

7. "Cheer if You Love ANYTHING!" by Paul Rust-P Rust, 
poor audience girl.  [P hates things and requests audience 
support; also screams and assaults stranger with butthole 
and hands; monologue]

8. "Me -&- My Dad," by Arend Miller-A Miller.  [A tells a story of 
abuses from father and other family-dynamics-related 
issues; monolgue]

9. "Black Ice," by Toni Wilson-A Clarke.  [A girl 
contemplates suicide after her mother's return to religion; 
monologue]

10. "James Erwin Rocks You Like a Hurricane, but James 
Erwin Has Reservations About Rocking You All Night Until 
the Break of Dawn," by (squint at paper for two beats) 
James Erwin?-A Clarke, A Lawson, M Cassady, J 
Nebergall [Literary figures converse and spout abbreviated 
manifestoes; comedy sketch]

11. "I Owe Andy a Roosevelt," by Jason Nebergall-J 
Nebergall.  [Andy the polisher and narrator get into wacky 
adventures; monologue]

11.5. ""Well, Shit," by Erin King-E King, J Erwin, Amir ??, 
Calvin ??.  [E chooses the U of Iowa partially for the Old 
Capitol Dome; her dreams are dashed; comedy sketch]

12. "Thread -&- Screws," by Al Angel-lots of people.  [one 
word at a time, people tell a brief tale of unrequited love; 
sound/content performance]

13. "An Unabridged, Annotated List of Everyone I Have Ever 
Had Sex With (Which Means that Yes, You Are on It," by 
Aprille Clarke-A Clarke, J Erwin [A recounts the 
idiocyncracies of past partners, J talks about pity vs. mercy; 
comedy performance]

14. "The Balls, Cassady, -&- Stubble Comedy Show!" by Neil 
"BALLS" Campbell-N"B" Campbell, M Cassady, A 
Galbraith.  [N"B", M, and A do comedy and try to make a girl 
look at their ballsacks; comedy sketch]

15. "Make This Man Walk," by Chris Stangl-C Stangl, AJM 
River.  [Beating a pot lid, C performs a rhythmic reading 
involving stitches and making a man walk; sound/content 
performance]

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 08:27:45 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.53

I'm tired.  Idiocyncracies = idiosyncracies, illicits = elicits, 
monolgue = monologue.

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 10:03:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.173.191

I would really like to see this piece again:

September 14th, 2001 
0.5 Neil "Balls" Campbell - Topical Comedy Monologue No. 1: I 
Wish I Was a Dog
[NB makes jokes about response to World Trade Center disaster; 
comedic monologue]

It's the first No Shame piece I ever saw, and I was immediately 
taken by the way he addressed the situation in such an 
intelligent and uncomfortably familiar way through the character 
he created.  This sketch was such a good example of how an 
artistic forum can be used to help us sort out our responses to 
relevant events.

Plus it was funny.

--Alex

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 20:29:34 GMT     IP: 128.255.179.87

Holy moly, sorry this is so long. 

King Toad - Carparts --&-- Eggshells
This was the first performance by King Toad I ever saw and I 
still love it the most. When I saw this I knew boy bands 
couldn't rule the air waves for long...

Erin King - Your Penis is MY Village
I nearly died laughing at the punchline on this one. Chris 
Okiishi as the fairy and Mike and Neil rolling around screaming 
had me giggling the rest of that night.

Jose Calcutta --&-- Silas Cricky-Cracky - Your Rent is Due
I don't remember who said this one should be included but I 
agree. This was just a bunch of fun. plain and simple. I love to 
watch Chris perform because his facial expressions are simply 
priceless and they way he uses his voice is just fantastic.

Jason Nebergall - I Am Awesome -&- Thus You Should Like Me
I choose this one above the others because the character and the 
voice as well as the letters were simply a fun breath of fresh 
air. I really enjoy Jason's pieces, and I think for a first 
piece, it was excellent.

Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Ghost in THIS VERY ROOM!
I picked this one because I think this really encompasses Balls 
best: good, engaging writing and a wonderful stage presence.

Chris Stangl - Blue Wine, and 100 Scarecrows
This is my favorite thing Chris has done this semester because 
the writing was really amazing, the descriptions were really 
poetic, and Chris's use of his body and voice really all helped 
to created a striking and memorable story.

Christopher Okiishi - A Little Late
I loved this one because the ending was totally unexpected and 
made me happy. Not because Chris was in Hell but because I 
didn't see the ending coming.

Elliot Stapleton, Bill McKenna, --&-- Seth Brenneman - Jesus 
Christ Powerbar
I liked this one because it was so dirty and fun. 

Al Angel - Cheshire Cat Moon
This piece had a quiet beauty to it that really struck me. I 
can't say exactly why I liked it, aside from the fact that I 
definitely loved the writing. It just really struck a chord with 
me.

Aprille Clarke--Okay, I honestly don't remember the name of the 
sketch or when it was performed but I can describe it. It was 
one one with the candle that turned out to be dynamite and the 
girl Aprille portrayed was talking to her dead mother and it 
turns out that she was being sexually abused by her father. At 
any rate, whichever one that was, I think I liked that one the 
best. I chose it because, like Chris' piece above, the ending 
wasn't expected and therein was some of it's charm. I also 
picked this one because it was a brave move on her part. I love 
Aprille's stuff because it's always edgy, and always makes you 
think. I like that.

James Erwin? [sic] - James Erwin Rocks You Like a Hurricane, but 
James Erwin Has Reservations About Rocking You All Night Until 
the Break of Dawn
I am not entirely sure who did the best in the sketch, but Mike 
Cassady as Hemingway did it in for me. Arlen was great too, and 
Jason did good as a drunk guy. Overall, this truly cracked me up 
so bad, i could barely stand it.

And I thought that last night's performance was really overall 
very good. I didn't see any in the bunch that drug the show or 
anything. Can't wait to see who gets in best of.

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 21:45:06 GMT     IP: 128.255.174.205

Chris Stangl - Trouble on Dog Island. If only because I thought 
the Choose Your Own Adventure story was the funniest thing I've 
seen all semester..

Time: Sat, 01-Dec-2001 22:34:32 GMT     IP: 128.255.175.179

I thought that last night's show topok a while to get off the 
ground, but the most successful pieces were those that played to 
the larger theater.  Chris's junior high bit and Paul's running 
around screaming/satire are two good examples.  This might be 
helpful to keep in mind when choosing for BONS, because I went 
to the fall best of last year, and it sucked a whole lot.  
Choosing pieces that will work well in Maibe will hopefully 
create a really good show.

Calvin

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 00:05:39 GMT     IP: 128.255.179.221

Last night's No Shame was pretty good, but it was hhard for me 
to enjoy anything after Paul Rust's sketch.  He was tastless, 
devoid of content, and all around stupid.

But it was AWESOME!   I couldn't stop laughing.  If only more 
acts would involve molesting audience members with your 
butthole!  I have never seen something so incredibly funny in my 
life.  Everyone should run around screaming and violating others 
with their anuses all the time.  Then the world would be a 
better place!

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 01:26:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.193.252

These are my personal favorites of the semester:

"Love --&-- Food Stamps," by Arlen Lawson

"Chocolate --&-- Liquor," by Neil "Balls" Campbell

"Trouble On Dog Island" by Chris Stangl

"There's Nothing Sadder Than A Sad Pirate" By Jason Nebergall

"Cheer if You Love ANYTHING!" by Paul Rust (I was in physical 
pain after laughing so hard... I mean, damn...)

"James Erwin Rocks You Like a Hurricane, but James 
Erwin Has Reservations About Rocking You All Night Until 
the Break of Dawn," by James Irwin

"I Wish I Was A Dog" by Christopher Okiishi

"Chevrolet Bel Aire" - Carolyn Space Jacobson

Elbow the Letter - "Georgia Athens"

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 06:26:02 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.103

We should see "There's Nothing Sadder Than A Sad Pirate" by 
Jason Nebergall again. Two words why: hateful uterus. Yes, I 
think that is reason enough. Plus the hilarious picture. 
Incredibly funny.

PS
Jason, you never returned Chris' call!

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 06:56:12 GMT     IP: 64.113.72.169

Hey i really want to see "There's Nothing Sadder Than A Sad 
Pirate" by Jason Nebergall, and "Let's Learn About The 
Presidents with tapioca pudding", by Chirs Stengl.  That would 
just make my day.  

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 07:32:23 GMT     IP: 144.62.204.136

This is from myself and the many Cornellians I bring with me 
each week, I think. :)

LOVED the Naked Juggling of Fire.  We want more naked juggling 
of fire.

Also, from No Shame Theatre 11/16/01  11.5 . "Sneeze or Orgasm?" 
by Urine!-J Erwin, E King

While I adored many others, those are the ones that, if I don't 
see, I will probably cry.  ;)

~Addy

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 07:47:41 GMT     IP: 63.228.160.69

I suggest "There's Nothing Sadder Than A Sad Pirate." If 
Nebergall does anything at BONS it needs to be this.

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 17:22:59 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.18

Toni makes apologies for her list being so long.

I don't.

I'm doing this BONS list a little different these days (not that 
you care).  This is essentially a list of things I liked a lot 
throughout the season, and as such want people to remember that 
they happened when the "order" is made.  This IS very much a 
BONS oriented list.  If I thought something would never work in 
Mabie, I didn't include it.  If I thought something wouldn't 
work again or in a different context, I didn't include it.  If I 
thought something was neat, but could be even better if it was 
shorter/revised/whatever (though definitely not rewritten), I 
DID include it.  Also, some of the items that follow are 
somewhat arbitrary.  Like, I would dig any magnetic 
performance.  Or any King Toad song.  But I listed them, 
anyway.  Enjoy.

Friday, April 20th, 2001 - [Theatre B]
"Dead Week

1. Seth Brennemen - A Match Made in Mattel
(S Brenneman, ??, Furby)
[S and F have relationship problems, discussed over dinner; 
comedy sketch]

14. Sarah Schmitt --&-- Neil Campbell - WE dRAnK BEer AND WRooTe A 
FuNNy SkEtch!
(Michelle __, A Lawson, AJ River, T Sherwood)
[What was at AJ's farm? T thinks it was sNaKEs! comedy sketch]

15. Chris Stangl - Let's Learn How Presidents Died, --&-- Eat 
Tapioca
(C Stangl)
[C describes the little-known stories of various presidents' 
deaths while eating lots of tapioca; comedic monologue.
 
Friday, April 27th, 2001 - [Theatre B]
"dead week jr"

1. Steve "Captain N: The Game Master" H - Five Minutes for the 
Best Five No Shame Skits of All Time
(S"CNtGM"H.)
[S recreates the best No Shame skits of all time; "Pookman," 
Julia Wilder, and a drumming guy are featured; imitative comedic 
performance]

12. Al Angel - The Mom-Hole --&-- the Baby
(A Angel, N Clark)
[A smokes and N gives insights from under the table about what 
happens when babies come out; seriocomedy sketch]

Weeks of Welcome
Friday, August 31st, 2001 - [Blackhawk Square on the Ped Mall]

1) Jamal River - Any Given Situation 
 
Friday, September 7th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

1. Aaron Galbraith - The Commandies, Part 3: 'The Lavender Hyena'
(N"B" Campbell, M Cassady)
[N"B" and M exchange energetic blasphemies; comedy sketch]

2. Ronnie Wright - The Dark
(R Wright)
[R reads a mostly- rhyming poem about identity and pain; poetry 
reading]

3.5 Al Angel - How Stella Got Her Poop Back
(A Angel, J River)
[A is magnetically attracted to J's poop, despite his horror; 
comedy mini-sketch]

7. King Toad - Carparts --&-- Eggshells
(J River, A Angel, N Clark(?))
[Hit song from the new King Toad album! Musical performance]

8. Arlen Lawson - Desert Pepper
(A Lawson)
[a baby climbed up a palm tree-or did it? Monologue]

10. Al Angel or Process of Falling into Decay : 
(A Angel, J River, N Clark, M Cassady, P Rust, M Hansen, ?)
[Chant-chorus song; musical performance]

Friday, September 14th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

6.5 Bill McKenna --&-- Seth Brenneman - I Wish I Was a Dog
(B McKenna, S Brenneman, some other nudies, P Rust)
[People reenact a sexy commercial in sexy semi-nudie ways; 
comedy sketch]

14. Neil "Balls" Campbell - I Wish I Was a Dog
(N"B" Campbell)
[N"B" plunks change in water and tells stories; comedic 
monologue]

Friday, September 21st, 2001 - [Theatre B]

2. Steve and Brad - I Wish I Were Dog aka Chop Suey
(Steve, Brad)
[S --&-- B discuss how they came to love juggling, then the 
juggling commences!; assorted tricks, ending with machetes over 
headstand]

3. Silas Cricky-Cracky - Your Aim is Off
(M Cassady)
[Cassady repeatedly says "Hey" to the audience.]

7. Jose Calcutta --&-- Silas Cricky-Cracky - Your Rent is Due
(C Stangl)
[C tells audience it's time for lunch, attempts to get them to 
leave theatre.]

8. Arlen Lawson - Fleshy Chambers
(A Lawson)
[Seven-year-old boy kills frog, and feels that God punishes him 
for it.]

14. Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Mystery of the Cosmos
(NB Campbell)
[NB goes through history of man's attempts to understand the 
universe, ponders what's next.]
 
Friday, September 28th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

1. Al Angel - Schindler's Poop
(A Angel, AJM River)
[A professes his belief in fairies and gets pooped on anyway; 
comedy sketch.]

2. I Wanna Be a Dog - Holy Shit, Brad! My Balls Are Glowing! And 
I'm Going to Poop in Your Mouth!
(Juggly Brad, Juggly Steve)
[Glowing balls make juggling so exciting; skill performance.]

3. Michele Thompson (with inspiration from Michelle 
Schlesseman) - Things that I Think Would Be Beautiful
(M Thompson, N"B" Campbell)
[M talks about all the different ways babies can be beautiful; 
posing in flower pots is not among them; comedy sketch.]

4.5 Seth Brenneman --&-- Stuart Stutzman - Ernest Goes to...Over 
There
(S Brenneman, S Stutzman)
[SB, portraying Ernest, goes over there; comedy sketch.]

5. Mark J Hansen - Don't Tell Mom, the Babysitter's Oedipus
(M Cassady, P Rust)
[M and P find various people/animals/things attractive and 

13. Silas Crombacha - Michael Rothschild Loves Spain and He 
Lived There for a Year!
(N"B" Campbell, AJM River, C Stangl)
[N"B" is a little old lady who poops in inappropriate places; 
she gets a flag in her buttcrack for sure; comedy sketch.]

14. Neil "Balls" Campbell - Broom Hilda
(N"B" Campbell)
[In the light of a stark bulb, N"B" tells the story of his 
destruction of a four-year-old Broom Hilda look-alike named 
Broom Hilda; comedic monologue.]
 
Friday, October 5th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

4.5. Calvin Hennick - Hitler Was a Douche Bag
(C Hennick, Amir Efrati)
[One Jew and one non-Jew discuss the way Hitler ruined stuff for 
people; comedy sketch.]

8. King Toad - Mary's Skull
(AJM River, A Angel)
[AJM on guitar and vocals, A on guitar, they perform a hit song; 
hit song musical performance.]

10. J Lin Erwin - The Skit Skat Sketchy Ska Hep! Hep!  Oi! Oi! 
Sketch
(J Erwin, AJM River, A Angel)
[J keeps the beat with his feet and chest while AJM and A 
say "Hep" and "Oi" rhythmically; sound performance.]

14. Neil "Balls" Campbell - All About Dinosaurs! A Play With 
Music
(N"B" Campbell, P Rust)
[P sings the dinosaur theme song and N"B" talks about them, also 
jumps over chairs (not all the time!); comedy performance.]
 
Friday, October 12th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

1. James "Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jammy-James" Erwin - Theater? Ontology! 
Fight! Fight! Fight!
(AJM River, J Erwin, ??)
[EMPIRE group noise song-noise performance]

5. Dee Troy - Sir Chan Destroy
(A Lawson, N Clark, C Okiishi, W Barbour, K Barbour)
[N is sad and smoking under an umbrella; balloons and balls and 
frisbees go everywhere; C is tender to him-visual and physical 
performance]

6. Mark J Hansen - Doing Lunch
(W Barbour, A Burton)
[W and A have a pun-filled conversation; comedy sketch]

7.5. Matt Goolsby - Porno Bucket
(M Gooslby)
[M makes sounds and rhythms and shouts; sound performance]

9. Silas Humbucker -&- Abe Strand - Testament of Th
(A Lawson, N Clark, AJM River, A Clarke, N"B" Campbell, J Erwin, 
C Stangl, ??)
[people make many noises, some rhythmic; sound performance]

11. Aprille Clarke - Poop Magnolias
(A Clarke, C Stangl, N"B" Campbell, J Erwin)
[A and C alternate stories about virile squirrels and midgets; 
Swamp Thing gets involved; comedy sketch]

11.5 Al Angel - City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Poop
(A Angel, AJM River)
[AJM fears terrorists in his butthole; against his better 
judgement, A gets sucked in face-first; comedy sketch]
 
Friday, October 19th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

6. Jason Nebergall - I Am Awesome -&- Thus You Should Like Me
(J Nebergall)
[As evidenced by letters from celebrities, Jason Nebergall is 
awesome and smokes drugs with cool people; monologue]

7.5. Seth Brenneman, Michele Thompson, Paul Rust, -&- Bill 
McKenna - Jurassic Pork 2: The Lost Sam Neill
(M Thompson, P Rust)
[pigs in a blanket make woman's butt rumble, naked dancing pig 
appears; comedy sketch]

13. Silas Brown - Da: Dry 55
(AJM River, A Bowman, A Clarke, A Lawson, A Galbraith, C Stangl)
[Some people spin at different rates, o

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 17:26:33 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.18

11. Aprille Clarke - Poop Magnolias
(A Clarke, C Stangl, N"B" Campbell, J Erwin)
[A and C alternate stories about virile squirrels and midgets; 
Swamp Thing gets involved; comedy sketch]

11.5 Al Angel - City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Poop
(A Angel, AJM River)
[AJM fears terrorists in his butthole; against his better 
judgement, A gets sucked in face-first; comedy sketch]
 
Friday, October 19th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

6. Jason Nebergall - I Am Awesome -&- Thus You Should Like Me
(J Nebergall)
[As evidenced by letters from celebrities, Jason Nebergall is 
awesome and smokes drugs with cool people; monologue]

7.5. Seth Brenneman, Michele Thompson, Paul Rust, -&- Bill McKenna -
 Jurassic Pork 2: The Lost Sam Neill
(M Thompson, P Rust)
[pigs in a blanket make woman's butt rumble, naked dancing pig 
appears; comedy sketch]

13. Silas Brown - Da: Dry 55
(AJM River, A Bowman, A Clarke, A Lawson, A Galbraith, C Stangl)
[Some people spin at different rates, others say "I" at different 
rates; visual/sound performance]
 
Friday, October 26th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

1. the Jugglies and Nick - I Wish I Was a Food
(N Clark, AJM River, A Angel, Juggly Brad, Juggly Steve, E King)
[N is so sad and hungry, and there are social food (and not so 
food!) jugglies everywhere!; comedy sketch]

3. Magnetic - Me --&-- My Balls
(Juggly Steve)
[Juggly Steve does tricks with his three blue balls; skill 
performance]

4.5. Kovacs --&-- Walken - Formula Plots Pt. 3: Over Used Pickup 
Line
(P Rust, Erin King)
[Is there a banana in Paul's pants, or is he just happy to see an 
apple?-comedy blackout]

8. Norval Brown - That Man IS Not a Moon! 
(C Stangl, AJM River, A Lawson)
[accompanied by a metronome, players chant words and sometimes 
don't; sound performance]

10. Alyssa J. Hayward - Heema Jeema! That's a Moon Dan Brooks!
(A Bowman, C Stangl, AJM River, various audience members)
[AJM and C talk shit about Dan Brooks old-school-style, there is 
chanting; comedy/sound performance]

13. Dan Brooks - Luckies
(M Thompson, M Brooks, J Erwin, K Lange, D Brooks, C Stangl)
[An overlapping set of stories evolves about Slipknot, 
infidelity, and blind person/cat violence; comedy performance]

14. Neil "Balls" Campbell - The Ghost in THIS VERY ROOM!
(N"B" Campbell)
[Orson Welles' ghost haunts the room, as N"B" excitedly tells us-
monologue]
 
Friday, November 2nd, 2001 - [Theatre B]

15. Chris Stangl - Blue Wine, and 100 Scarecrows
(C Stangl)
[C's character and friends wreak mischief on Harrow Field, laying 
evidence for future/past monologues; monologue]
 
Friday, November 9th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

0.5. Al Angel - L'Aretino nei suoi ragionamenti sulle 
cortigiante, le maritata e...i contenti poop
(A Angel)
[There is no one to poop in Al's mouth; he eats a Snickers; 
monologuito]

1.5 Jugglys - Grape Ni-Hi
(Juggly Brad, Juggly Steve)
[Jugglys perform 5-Ball Endurance; Brad wins; skill performance]

10. Jason Nebergall - There's Nothing Sadder than a Sad Pirate
(J Nebergall)
[J shows a picture of an old fisherman and says it's him and also 
a sad pirate with a dead penis and whiskey inside; monologue]

10.5. Elliot Stapleton, Bill McKenna, --&-- Seth Brenneman - Jesus 
Christ Powerbar
(Boylyssa, Seth Brenneman, ??, ??, P Rust)
[Cardboard elf/santa cutouts are so dirty; sweet Jesus is there 
too; comedy blackout]
 
Friday, November 16th, 2001 - [Theatre B]

1. Magnetic - Holy Shit My Balls Bounce Gueut
(Juggly Brad, Juggly Steve)
[JB and JS juggle rhythmically together; skill performance]

3. Mike Cassady and Paul Rust - An Evening in Yesteryear
(A Galbraith, P Rust, M Cassady)
[P and M are old-time cane vaudeville guys who live at the YMCA; 
comedy sketch]

6. Norval Brooks Reiss - I Want to Trick you Into Helping: Me a 
Song
(AJM River)
[With audience participation, AJM has a conversation; interactive 
comedy performance]

8. Al Angel - Cheshire Cat Moon
(A Angel, A Clarke, M Thompson, C Okiishi, J Erwin)
[Characters relay parts of kissing scene, kiss each other; 
dramatic performance/makeout]

8.5 Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, --&-- Sirius 
Black - Harry Potter and the Night Paul Rust Crushed a Thousand 
Hops --&-- Dreams of Four Orphans
(P Rust, M Thompson, S Brenneman, Boylyssa, ??)
[Kids are thwarted by lack of ticket availability; they thwart 
right back; comedy sketchito]

12. Maria Hill!!- Poop a Pee Like Me
(AJM River, A Angel, C Okiishi, S Heuertz, J Erwin, A Galbraith, 
P Rust, M Thompson, J Nebergall, S Brenneman, Boylyssa)
[people get on stage and recite the same paragraph one by one, 
then all together]

13. Aprille Clarke - The Bare Boob Project
(A Clarke, M Cassady, A Galbraith)
[Should A take off her top? No way, too gross; comedy sketch]
 
Friday, November 30th, 2001 - [Mabie Theater]

5. Maria Hill!!- The Weird School Day
(T Wilson, A Clarke, M Thompson, A Galbraith, M Cassady, P Rust, 
C Stangl, N"B" Campbell, J Erwin, ??.)
[Third grade students are stupid, but it's ok-doom for sixth 
graders; comedy sketch]

6.5. Matthew Hart - Somewhere Over the Rainbow Trout
(M Hart, J Nebergall.)
[M makes puns, J wreaks revenge on M, self; comedy sketchito]

7. Paul Rust - Cheer if You Love ANYTHING!
(P Rust, poor audience girl.)
[P hates things and requests audience support; also screams and 
assaults stranger with butthole and hands; monologue]

10. James Erwin? [sic] - James Erwin Rocks You Like a Hurricane, 
but James Erwin Has Reservations About Rocking You All Night 
Until the Break of Dawn
(A Clarke, A Lawson, M Cassady, J Nebergall)
[Literary figures converse and spout abbreviated manifestoes; 
comedy sketch]

PLEASE END!

--Al

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 17:43:04 GMT     IP: 128.255.111.18

I don't like to be the asshole eho gets defensive over something 
written in this forum.

I wouldn't, if I felt that the post to which I am replying was 
written as an honest piece of criticism.

But I don't.  So I am that asshole.  For now.

So.  Speaking of irony.  That's sorta the whole idea behind the 
poop sketches, which I think are what are being referred to 
(though I could be wrong).  That's what's funny to me.  That's 
why I do them.  Thought you knew.  It isn't hard to figure out.

And yes, I have used hackneyed material in a non-ironic way.  It 
happens.  I don't think it's a good thing, but it happens.  And I 
can't think of a single writer it hasn't happened to.  I like 
Jason.  I think he's neat.  I want to see him maintain the level 
of quality he has established.  I want to see him get even 
better.  This is why I gave him criticism.  This is why I try to 
be blunt about it.  Flowery and polite criticism does not get 
anybody anywhere.  In short, I was trying to be helpful.  And I 
know that Jason is strong enough to stand up to that.  And to 
take it or leave it as he pleases (insert M*A*S*H theme here).

So why you wanna be a dick?

--Al

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 18:54:49 GMT     IP: 128.255.175.179

Didn't mean to post that thing about BONS twice.  Tip: don't 
leave your monitor for a day after posting a message, and then 
hit refresh.  It posts your message again and makes you look 
retarded.

calvin

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 20:09:20 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

There are only a few hours more until the board meets!  

Thanks for all the stuff mentioned so far.

And for all the hopes and dreams of the people at home.

"May tommorow be a perfect day, may you find love and laughter 
along the way..."

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 22:26:54 GMT     IP: 24.178.218.15

Toni Wilson and James Erwin - Deep Thumb
James Horak - Oh yeah! Oh yeah!...I SAID DANCE
Neil Campbell - All about Dinosaurs! 
Spencer Griffin - Voices that Care This ain't yo parents persian 
Gulf
Jason N. The sad pirat (sorry to be predictable)
Apprille Clark - Situated Under the tongue
Christopher Okiishi - Negotiated safety
Arlen Lawson - Salt and poverty
Paul Rust Amazing Tales of the Astonishing 

Time: Sun, 02-Dec-2001 23:44:52 GMT     IP: 172.157.158.215

Yeah!  I totally agree.  The pirate one was hilarious.  The 
presidents one..wasn't that during deadweek at the end of last 
semester?  That means it should still be elegible for this time, 
shouldn't it?  I hope so, cause I remember that one being very 
funny too.  I definately wanna see the nothing sadder than a sad 
pirate one by jason nebergall, and the presidents deaths thing 
with tapiocca by Chris Stangl.
___
Jake

Time: Mon, 03-Dec-2001 01:52:18 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.243

This is Nick.  I have been deeply ashamed of the way I acted 
earlier, the fact that I freaked out and behaved childishly, 
destructively, and violently, but that does not change the fact 
that earlier this semester I bought thirty extra beach balls in  
case Sir Chan Destroy made BONS.  I would like it to.  That is 
no more a reason for putting it in BONS however than the fact 
that I carried a mic stand, boombox, strumstick and keyboard 
to NS from my home with a bad back and got to the theatre 
building early was a reason for Nozebone to get in te order 
that week.  I didn't forget the rules that week,  just ignored 
them and freaked.  And that sucks, and no amount of apology 
will ever make me feel 100% comfortable doing NS again.  
Nonetheless, Sir Chan Destroy is my favorite piece by me 
ever, and in the event that it is selected, I am prepared to 
perform it.

love
-nick

Time: Mon, 03-Dec-2001 07:19:47 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.112

A little sad, because it's likely my last, and Neil's last.  

But Great anyway.  

And the order is going to rock.

Just you wait!

!!

Thanks for suggestions everyone.  This is a hard process every 
semester, and I'm glad there is so much good material to pick 
from.  

Time: Mon, 03-Dec-2001 21:36:30 GMT     IP: 24.178.150.8

uhh...see subject heading.
when do we find out BONS order?

Time: Mon, 03-Dec-2001 21:44:33 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.100

This will be announced at the beginning of next week's show, and 
on this website if you are a complete lame-o who has something 
better to do.

Yup!

Time: Tue, 04-Dec-2001 01:17:37 GMT     IP: 128.255.154.44

Re-education by Christopher Okiishi was a slightly tragic, 
pleasing and smart monologue. It had a good beat and it was easy 
to dance to. Any way that we can get Paul to shit on stage? If 
he throws his steaming hot cables on the stage next week it 
would easily make the BONS the following week.  

Time: Wed, 05-Dec-2001 07:35:00 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75


Fillopia says:
Any way that we can get Paul to shit on stage? If 
he throws his steaming hot cables on the stage next week it 
would easily make the BONS the following week.

I say:
That whole "shit on the stage" thing has been done before.  I 
mean, did anyone else see Neil Campbell's piece last week?  Boo-
yah! 

Time: Wed, 05-Dec-2001 20:40:31 GMT     IP: 24.178.150.8

God: Spencer?
Spencer: Yes, God?
God: I was thinking...
Spencer: Go on, God.
God: Well, about this Capture the Flag thing.
Spencer: I know, God. I'm sorry. It's just that the orange gates 
are up.
God: Hmm...I see. But still...Oh, nevermind.
Spencer: No, what God?
God: It's nothing.
Spencer: God. Please. We've been through so much.
God: It's just that...
Spencer: Yes?
God: I think you should still play.
Spencer: I think so, too. But how can we?
God: Well, the gated in area is a bit smaller now. Plus, it 
makes one hell of an intensified game!
Spencer: You know, God. You're right! THANKS GOD!
God: Ahh, don't mention it.
Spencer: What time?
God: 11 pm like always!
Spencer: Same place?
God: Of course, Mr. Silly Balls.
Spencer: God, you know I don't like to be called Mr. Silly Balls.
God: That's because you are a pussy.

Time: Fri, 07-Dec-2001 15:28:46 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Director interviews are now being scheduled for City Circle 
Acting Company of Coralville, an up and coming, reasonably 
progressive community theater group in progressive, up and 
coming Coralville.  This would be a good opportunity to wet or 
whet one's feet in directing a non-professional group in a never-
the-less supportive and encouraging atmosphere.  

If you are interested, e-mail me for details.

Chris

Time: Fri, 07-Dec-2001 22:17:44 GMT     IP: 216.248.99.3

If I were to bring a blank tape to No Shame tonight, could 
someone put Brothers Askew on it? 

I remember Paul mentioning that Mike would make a copy if you 
gave him a tape; is that opportunity still availiable? 

I'll even throw in some US currency to sweeten the deal! So 
howza 'bout it?

Loving you,
Boylyssa

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 09:00:58 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.45

Tonight...Neil dies...nude...-&- wet

No Shame Theatre

By Neil "Balls" Campbell

12/7/2001

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Artex, a locally-produced literary magazine, is available from Tom 
Kovacs and/or at Prairie Lights book store.  It was edited by Tom 
Kovacs, Sam Negron, and someone else.

Tonight (12/7) is Tom Waits's birthday.  He is 52.

Likewise, tonight is Neil "Balls" Campbell's last regular No 
Shame.  This is why he's in so many pieces.

Next week (12/14) is BEST OF NO SHAME 

0.5 "Poop From New York OR Escape from L. Anus," by Neil Campbell, 
Al Angel, -&- Jamal River-N"B" Campbell, AJM River, A Angel.  [N"B" 
and AJM have identical anuses, and yet N's is so much more 
appealing to A than AJM's.  AJM is jealous; comedy sketchito]

1. "3 Sticks -&- Two Balls," by Steve-Juggly Steve.  [JS juggles 
green pins accompanied by music; skill performance]

1.5 "An Unabridged, Annotated List of Everyone I Have Ever Had Sex 
With," by Michael Jabor-M Jabor [M reads title and stands in 
pathetic silence; monologuito]

2. "Get This Crap Out of Me," by Jamal River -&- Neil "Balls" 
Campbell-N"B" Campbell, AJM River.  [N"B" hears dead ghosts 
speaking from AJM's butthole; comedy sketch]

3. "Life Is Beautiful," by Spencer Griffin-S Griffin, N"B" 
Campbell, P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith.  [S ruminates on finding 
humor despite his emotional pain; tries fun stuff at others' 
suggestion; gets beaten down physically and emotionally; 
tragicomedy sketch]

3.5. ""One!  Two!  Buckle My Eight.  Five!  Nine!  Masturbate!"  
by Elliot Stapleton, Seth Brenneman -&- Bill McKenna-lots of people 
[Party teens dance to the Clash's "Rock the Casbah" and are 
shocked by its potential substitution by "Who Let the Dogs Out;" 
comedy sketchito]

4. "Two Guys Are Trying to Go to Sleep but Stuff Keeps Waking Them 
Up," by Paul "Sack" Rust -&- Neil "Balls" Campbell-P Rust, N"B" 
Campbell, M Thompson, A Clarke.  [See title.  Stuff includes 
music, masturbation, bikini girls, audience; comedy sketch]

5. "Roast Beef," by Paul Rust-C Stangl, J Nebergall, ??, N"B" 
Campbell, P Rust, S Heuertz.  [P is unable to roast N"B", who it 
turns out caused the death of P's mother; comedy sketch]

6. "Wash Cycle," by Thomas Kovacs-T Kovacs, J Nebergall.  [two 
characters reminisce about life as camp staff and trips to the 
laundromat; dramatic two-part monologue]

6.5. "Stephen King Kong," by Matthew Hart-M Hart, ??, J Nebergall.  
[The Punisher strikes again, this time filled with self-loathing; 
comedy sketchito]

7. "Old Man Robin," by Arlen Lawson-A Lawson, C Stangl, N"B" 
Campbell.  [Out of chronological order, three characters deal with 
the results of one having killed someone, while referencing past 
Lawson monologues; dramatic performance]

8. "Some People Call Me the Space Cowboy," by Spud Webb-S Heuertz, 
Boylyssa, ??, N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.  [Talk of cybersex is 
interrupted by the forcible removal of N"B"'s clothing, every bit 
of it; nudity performance]

9. "Philmont Chronicles:  Volume Two, Don't You Dare Give ME the 
Bird," by Kurt Meyermann-K Meyermann.  [A character recalls an 
adventure on a not-very-haunted haunted mesa; monologue]

10. "Obsequity," by Al Angel-A Angel, P Rust, A Lawson, J 
Nebergall, M Cassady, N"B" Campbell.  [AA reads a poem while 
others play on various tooting instruments; sound performance]

11. "I Am Sworn to Valour," by Jason Nebergall-J Nebergall.  [J 
discusses he finer points of making love to a woman; monologue]

12. "A Fond Farewell from One Dandy to Another," by Audrey 
Plumshower III- N"B" Campbell, M Cassady, P Rust.  [characters go 
Christmas shopping; their roles in regard to various current 
events and serious topics shift; comedy sketchito]

13. "I Wish I Had Some Balls OR:  Balls, We Hardly Shaved You," by 
Aprille Clarke-A Clarke, M Thompson, M Cassady, N"B" Campbell. 
[Characters eat dinner, do synchronized swimming, play Who's the 
Boss; comedy sketch]

14. "Yeah! We're DYKES!" by Chris "Vulva" Stangl-C Stangl, A 
Lawson, N"B" Campbell, AJM River.  [2 high school jackasses steal 
bananas from the botanical gardens and feel bad about it for 
different reasons; comedy sketch]

15. "Rosebud," by Neil "Balls" Campbell-N"B" Campbell.  [N"B" 
remembers stuff about different No Shamers, leaves on a melancholy 
note; monologue]

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 09:01:47 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.45

1. "Holy Shit Brad!  My Balls are Glowing!  And I'm Going to Poop 
in Your Mouth!"  by I Wanna Be a Dog (Juggly Brad -&- Juggly Steve)
2. "Things That I Think Would Be Beautiful" by Michele Thompson
3. "James Erwin Rocks You Like A Hurricane, But James Erwin Has 
Reservations About Rocking You All Night Until the Break of Dawn" 
by James Erwin
3.5 "Sneeze or Orgasm?" by Urine! (Erin King)
4. "Johnny Correspondent" by Alyssa Bowman
5. "Sir Chan Destroy" by Dee Troy (Nick Clark)
6. "I am Awesome -&- Thus You Should Like Me" by Jason Nebergall
7. "The Starvation Box" by Arlen Lawson
7.5 "The Longest Poop" by Maria Hill
8. "The Act or Process of Falling into Decay: a Hymn" by Al Angel
9. "Five Minutes for the Best Five No Shame Skits of All Time" by 
Steve "Captain N: The Game Master" H(euertz)
9.5 "Jesus Christ Powerbar" by Elliot Stapleton, Bill McKenna, -&- 
Seth Brenneman
10. "A Little Late" by Chris Okiishi
11. "An Evening in Yesteryear" by Mike Cassady and Paul Rust
12. "Poop Magnolias" by Aprille Clarke
13. "Any Given Situation" by King Toad
14. "Let's Learn How Presidents Died, -&- Eat Tapioca" by Chris 
Stangl
15. "The Career Day Massacre" by Neil "Balls" Campbell	

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 16:46:27 GMT     IP: 128.255.195.97

Artex, a locally-produced literary magazine, is available from 
Tom Kovacs and/or at Prairie Lights book store.  It was edited by 
Tom Kovacs, Sam Negron, and someone else.

The someone else is Jason Gorski.  Also, this is one of the 
greatest $1 magazines you will ever find.  So you should get 
yourself a copy and see the cool stuff these eight authors have 
produced!

Amidst self-promotion:
Tom Kovacs

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 19:28:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.179.87

I sure didn't get sick of seeing Neil on stage in nearly every 
single piece because after next week, we won't see him no mo'.

0.5 "Poop From New York OR Escape from L. Anus," by Neil 
Campbell, 
Al Angel, --&-- Jamal River-N"B" Campbell, AJM River, A Angel.  
[N"B" 
and AJM have identical anuses, and yet N's is so much more 
appealing to A than AJM's.  AJM is jealous; comedy sketchito]

That is the best title ever. I think the best part was how 
jealous Jamal got. That had me snickering the whole night.

1. "3 Sticks --&-- Two Balls," by Steve-Juggly Steve.  [JS juggles 
green pins accompanied by music; skill performance]

I missed seeing the jugglies last week so I was glad to see at 
least one juggly there. This was quite fun even though one of 
the pins almost got Alyssa.

1.5 "An Unabridged, Annotated List of Everyone I Have Ever Had 
Sex 
With," by Michael Jabor-M Jabor [M reads title and stands in 
pathetic silence; monologuito]

It's actually Tabor, not Jabor.

2. "Get This Crap Out of Me," by Jamal River --&-- Neil "Balls" 
Campbell-N"B" Campbell, AJM River.  [N"B" hears dead ghosts 
speaking from AJM's butthole; comedy sketch]

See, I am a big fan of the poop sketches, so I knew I would like 
fart sketches as well. This was quite amusing, although I think 
it might loose its charm if they are done every week like the 
poop sketches. But I could be wrong. I think Jamal has some 
talent when it comes to making fart sounds with his mouth. Nice 
one.

3. "Life Is Beautiful," by Spencer Griffin-S Griffin, N"B" 
Campbell, P Rust, M Cassady, A Galbraith.  [S ruminates on 
finding 
humor despite his emotional pain; tries fun stuff at others' 
suggestion; gets beaten down physically and emotionally; 
tragicomedy sketch]

I really did enjoy this one, although I wasn't sure what to make 
of the ending...The parts with Paul, Neil, Mike and Aaron were 
fantastic.

3.5. ""One!  Two!  Buckle My Eight.  Five!  Nine!  Masturbate!"  
by Elliot Stapleton, Seth Brenneman --&-- Bill McKenna-lots of 
people 
[Party teens dance to the Clash's "Rock the Casbah" and are 
shocked by its potential substitution by "Who Let the Dogs Out;" 
comedy sketchito]

This was so much fun. I was so jealous I didn't think of this 
one. And I loved the tiny tie.


4. "Two Guys Are Trying to Go to Sleep but Stuff Keeps Waking 
Them 
Up," by Paul "Sack" Rust --&-- Neil "Balls" Campbell-P Rust, N"B" 
Campbell, M Thompson, A Clarke.  [See title.  Stuff includes 
music, masturbation, bikini girls, audience; comedy sketch]

This was so goofy and adorable I could barely stand it.

5. "Roast Beef," by Paul Rust-C Stangl, J Nebergall, ??, N"B" 
Campbell, P Rust, S Heuertz.  [P is unable to roast N"B", who it 
turns out caused the death of P's mother; comedy sketch]

I am consistently happy with what Paul writes. This was fab. 
Aside from the whole Neil being mean to Paul thing, just 
watching Chris Stangl's expressions through the entire sketch 
had me cracking up.

6. "Wash Cycle," by Thomas Kovacs-T Kovacs, J Nebergall.  [two 
characters reminisce about life as camp staff and trips to the 
laundromat; dramatic two-part monologue]

I wasn't honestly too sure about this one because I couldn't 
hear Tom or Jason very well. And I was in the front row. I think 
that the words were interesting, but I think different blocking 
or more people or something. I think what makes longer 
monologues like Arlen's and Aprille's so interesting (aside from 
the good writing) is the interesting use of space, blocking and 
people. Like I said, I did enjoy the writing, I think the piece 
would have benefitted from a different use of space and person.

6.5. "Stephen King Kong," by Matthew Hart-M Hart, ??, J 
Nebergall.  
[The Punisher strikes again, this time filled with self-
loathing; 
comedy sketchito]

I think this piece was amusing but again, suffered from not 
being able to be heard. Again, I was in the front row, and could 
barely hear what was happening. I think the Punisher is a fun 
idea. With all this self loathing, i think the punisher will 
soon self destruct.

7. "Old Man Robin," by Arlen Lawson-A Lawson, C Stangl, N"B" 
Campbell.  [Out of chronological order, three characters deal 
with 
the results of one having killed someone, while referencing past 
Lawson monologues; dramatic performance]

I loved the references to the old Arlen pieces from this 
semester. I thought the messed up cronological order was great 
because it really made me think about what was happening. The 
characters were appropriately edgy. I always enjoy Arlen's work 
and I think this is one of the best ones. I liked all the 
different characters actually on the stage rather than just 
talked about in the monologue.

8. "Some People Call Me the Space Cowboy," by Spud Webb-S 
Heuertz, 
Boylyssa, ??, N"B" Campbell, M Cassady.  [Talk of cybersex is 
interrupted by the forcible removal of N"B"'s clothing, every 
bit 
of it; nudity performance]

I am another one of those people who doesn't understand why 
nudity is so shocking, but I had to scream and laugh when I saw 
Neil forcibly taken to the floor and stripped. That was just 
hysterical.

9. "Philmont Chronicles:  Volume Two, Don't You Dare Give ME the 
Bird," by Kurt Meyermann-K Meyermann.  [A character recalls an 
adventure on a not-very-haunted haunted mesa; monologue]

To be honest, I am not so hot on Kurt's work. It seems to me 
that it suffers from lack of editing. I think he usually had a 
good idea and just needs to focus the story to make it flow 
better. I did, however, like his use of props. That helped 
change it from just standing up there, reading a story, to 
actually performing. But this is not the sort of thing I dig. 
Sorry.

10. "Obsequity," by Al Angel-A Angel, P Rust, A Lawson, J 
Nebergall, M Cassady, N"B" Campbell.  [AA reads a poem while 
others play on various tooting instruments; sound performance]

I was bummed about this because I could hardly hear Al speaking 
during this one over the din of the toots. So I don't know what 
to say. 

11. "I Am Sworn to Valour," by Jason Nebergall-J Nebergall.  [J 
discusses he finer points of making love to a woman; monologue]

I have to say it, Jason's pieces just get better and better. In 
the short time he has been performing at no shame, his pieces 
have gotten stronger and more cohesive. He makes me want to 
vomit. Seriously, this one was real fun.

12. "A Fond Farewell from One Dandy to Another," by Audrey 
Plumshower III- N"B" Campbell, M Cassady, P Rust.  [characters 
go 
Christmas shopping; their roles in regard to various current 
events and serious topics shift; comedy sketchito]

I loved it. Purses flying, ridiculous accents, screaming, 
hitting, topic shifts. This was a ball. 

13. "I Wish I Had Some Balls OR:  Balls, We Hardly Shaved You," 
by 
Aprille Clarke-A Clarke, M Thompson, M Cassady, N"B" Campbell. 
[Characters eat dinner, do synchronized swimming, play Who's the 
Boss; comedy sketch]

This was so insane, I just enjoyed it so much. None of it really 
seemed to make sense together, but it somehow worked.

14. "Yeah! We're DYKES!" by Chris "Vulva" Stangl-C Stangl, A 
Lawson, N"B" Campbell, AJM River.  [2 high school jackasses 
steal 
bananas from the botanical gardens and feel bad about it for 
different reasons; comedy sketch]

I think I like Chris' monologues better, although to see him 
write something that is for more than one person is a nice 
change. There were definitely parts I liked about it, especially 
Jamal as the banana tree, moving around to keep chris from 
getting the bananas, but for the most part, I thought this was 
okay. Not horrible at all, but not my favorite thing I have seen 
Chris do.

15. "Rosebud," by Neil "Balls" Campbell-N"B" Campbell.  [N"B" 
remembers stuff about different No Shamers, leaves on a 
melancholy 
note; monologue]

I had tears in my eyes at the end of this. I am going to miss 
Balls, tiny nipples and all.

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 20:11:52 GMT     IP: 128.255.174.15

1.5 "An Unabridged, Annotated List of Everyone I Have Ever Had 
Sex 
With," by Michael Jabor-M Jabor [M reads title and stands in 
pathetic silence; monologuito]

It's actually Tabor, not Jabor.

And also...he rocks.  Although it's not true, I've had sex with 
him many, many times. It was hillarious all the same.

Love,
Margo

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 20:33:22 GMT     IP: 63.228.160.69

6.5. "Stephen King Kong," by Matthew Hart-M Hart, ??, J 
Nebergall.  
[The Punisher strikes again, this time filled with self-loathing; 
comedy sketchito]

?? should A. Schroeder, An old pal of Jason and myself from 
highschool. He is the Andy from Jason's November 30th piece, "I 
Owe Andy a Roosevelt".

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 23:02:34 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.48

It was hilarious when you had sex with him?

Time: Sat, 08-Dec-2001 23:13:58 GMT     IP: 128.255.174.15

Yes.

Love,
Margo

Time: Sun, 09-Dec-2001 01:18:03 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

ya'll need to check, or should i say czech, out our friend 
boylissa's website for some funny ass shite!  go to the link 
that i will paste below here.

http://www.geocities.com/eatababy
^^^^^^^^^^This is the link!

see, it has http:// in front of it.  that is how you make any 
sentence a web page.

Time: Sun, 09-Dec-2001 01:21:13 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

boy, i voted yesterday, and it was durn excitin'!  i hope bill 
clinton wins.  there's nothing like november 7.  ;)

Time: Sun, 09-Dec-2001 07:29:34 GMT     IP: 205.188.195.27

...is Balls going?

Time: Sun, 09-Dec-2001 07:34:50 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.163

One piece got left out of the order. For real!  It is:

12. "A Candita Gram" by Alyssa "Balls" Bowman and Neil "Balls" 
Campbell -- C Stangl, N"B" Campbell, AJM River, M Cassady. 
[Marlon's friends attempt to set him up with Mario, he almost 
commits suicide. Comedy sketch.]

The Audrey Plumshower III piece is number 12.5.

Thanks!

Neil

Time: Mon, 10-Dec-2001 01:40:12 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162


To my apartment in Brooklyn. Which is just one of the many 
exciting reasons why you and your attractive, promiscuous friends 
should plan a fun trip to New York to see me. Us, I mean.

Dan

Time: Mon, 10-Dec-2001 05:08:27 GMT     IP: 24.178.150.8

I really would like to see more people review the shows. I like 
going to the shows and then hearing what everyone has to say 
about them. So write more reviews.

Thanks,
Jake Dearsford

Time: Mon, 10-Dec-2001 19:41:13 GMT     IP: 128.255.109.214

:10. "Obsequity," by Al Angel-A Angel, P Rust, A Lawson, J 
:Nebergall, M Cassady, N"B" Campbell.

I am not being facetious.  Seriously:

I did not cast Arlen Lawson, but, it seems entirely possible to 
me that he could have gotten onstage without my noticing.  So.  
Was he really in my piece?

For shame, Arlen!!!!

--Al

Time: Mon, 10-Dec-2001 21:42:33 GMT     IP: 158.252.165.177

Dear BONS Writers,

Despite the fact that I have not attended a single No Shame all 
semester long, I still believe that I should be on stage for at 
least a few moments of Best of No Shame; so why not kick one of 
your so-called friends out of your brilliant sketch and cast me 
instead? What have your "friends" ever done for you? Why should 
you stick by them? Don't you know they talk about you behind your 
back? Don't you know they hate you? (I wasn't going to say 
anything, but now I feel I have to.)

And think about this--Was the first incarnation of your piece 
really that good, or might it not be improved (subtly or 
superlatively) with J.C. Luxton in it?

Here comes the carrot and it's sprinkled with oats and 
sugar:--J.C. will even memorize his part, if you can get to him 
soon.  No need to check your gogs, you read that a-right!

So come on, Pally, lose that yesterday clique.  Whyn't you come 
run with the wolves?

The wolf's phone number is 339-0861. Or you can e-mail.

Do me! You know you want to.

Time: Tue, 11-Dec-2001 07:02:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.195.97

Artex is now for sale at Prarie Lights AND City News.

Time: Tue, 11-Dec-2001 16:58:28 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

The band I'm in (MY BUSINESS FAILED IN THREE WEEKS) will be 
playing at GABE'S OASIS on FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14th.

"But, Paul, what about Best of No Shame that night?"

The show starts at SEVEN O'CLOCK! Therefore, you'll have plenty 
of time to see us and go to Best of No Shame.  

And to you entice even more, there will be 13 bands playing for 
only $5 (we'll be one of the first four bands). It's a benefit 
for the Sal's Music Emporium burglury. So go already!

Also...
There should be an article/review of our album in The Daily 
Iowan on Thursday, December 13.  I have a pretty good feeling 
it will mention No Shame, too, so you may want to check it out.

Plus...
I will be selling copies of our album at Best of No Shame. They 
are $5. Find me at the show if you want to purchase one. I will 
be grateful.

That's it. 

Good bye, everyone!!!

Time: Tue, 11-Dec-2001 20:54:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.172

The Daily Iowan article on My Business Failed in Three Weeks will 
now be on Friday, December 14th.

Time: Wed, 12-Dec-2001 01:22:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

http://run.to/paulisawesome

He is totally cool!

Time: Wed, 12-Dec-2001 20:50:13 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.130

Coming this January, the beginning of an error-er-era.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RAINBOW PROJECT '02; Pookman's Shame
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're excited, eh?  Understandable.

Time: Thu, 13-Dec-2001 16:16:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

My Business Failed in Three Weeks' new album gets a review in 
today's Daily Iowan/80 Hours! It mentions No Shame! Yaaaaay!

Time: Thu, 13-Dec-2001 20:12:48 GMT     IP: 129.255.164.175

Here's the link for non-city folk:

http://www.dailyiowan.com/cgi-bin/LiveIQue.acgi$rec=63796?
todayviewpoints

Time: Thu, 13-Dec-2001 20:28:39 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

arent you the attention whore....

Time: Thu, 13-Dec-2001 21:26:07 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

Why do you say this to me, George Anastasiou?
I was just sharing an aspect of my life on the web-board like 
others do.
I am thin-skinned and sensitive.
What you said hurt my feelings.
I am offended.

Time: Thu, 13-Dec-2001 23:47:31 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.130

...and when God saw this he said, "It is good."

Time: Fri, 14-Dec-2001 23:37:06 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

sorry but your guilt-trip wont work.

i am offended at your blatant need for your approval.

Time: Fri, 14-Dec-2001 23:41:05 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

i am also offended at your blantant need for _my_ approval.

here, let me give you "these words of encouragment" since you 
seem to need _something_.

"you are a unique and compelling individual. i throw myself at 
your self-promotion and marketing appeal. i want to buy products 
with your likeness on it."

Time: Sat, 15-Dec-2001 00:02:46 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

dont listen to that other paul rust--he's an imposter. 

thank you for your honesty "um...yeah". you are absolutely 
correct.

i am an attention-whore. 

fuck you aprille clark!!!!!!!!!!!

Time: Sat, 15-Dec-2001 00:03:54 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

what the hell???????? who's doing that? 

Time: Sat, 15-Dec-2001 07:29:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.174.205

Best of No Shame was all well and good, but SOMEBODY GOT PUKE 
ALL OVER MY COAT!

Just thought you'd like to know.

Time: Sun, 16-Dec-2001 03:34:26 GMT     IP: 128.255.173.75

I believe "Five Minutes for the Best Five No Shame Skits of All 
Time". I may be a TINY bit biased with that statement. To say I 
was quite hurt by that sketch is a serious understatement.  In 
my short life I can only come up with one event that was that 
painful.  All three of my pieces were cruelly ripped apart.  
Human beings are resilient bastards thought.  I have gotten over 
it now, I am no longer wishing immediate physical harm upon 
Steve Heurtz, and I have gotten my confidence back, but I'd like 
some kind of explaination for what the fuck was up with that 
sketch.  I wasn't told about this, and I after hearing Duck Tape 
trashed I wasn't expecting all THREE of my pieces to be ripped 
apart in a similiar fashion.  I've read a few of the threads 
here, and I have talked to No Shame regulars.  I realize that my 
skits weren't perfect, and I appreciate the constructive 
criticism.  Figuratively speaking, Steve has not only crossed 
the line, but he crossed the line and masterbated on the other 
side.

Time: Sun, 16-Dec-2001 04:46:03 GMT     IP: 205.244.161.173

If this sketch had gone 10 seconds longer, or if I didn't have 
tremendous respect for Spencer, whom I came with; Cassidy, 
Campbell and others I was sitting near; and my brother who 
always and only raved about No Shame, I would have walked out of 
the theater.  Think of something better to do than tear down 
someone else's work - work that was originally presented in a 
forum called "No Shame" with all attendant expectations of 
inclusiveness.  It's not original, and it's not funny.  I have a 
hard time expressing how angry this sketch made me at the time 
and again as I think about it now.  It made what was otherwise 
one of the best Best of No Shames I have seen difficult to enjoy.

Time: Sun, 16-Dec-2001 07:04:54 GMT     IP: 128.255.175.179

I thought the Best Of was a really really strong show.  Kudos to 
the board for picking a stellar order and to all the 
writers/performers.  

However, I couldn't help but notice the last two posts, and I 
couldn't help but agree with them.  The skit seemed mean-
spirited, rather than roasting in nature, and the (previously 
unbeknownst to me) fact that THREE of the skits being mocked 
were all by the same person is simply inexcusable.  

We're all big kids, and we can all take a little criticism.  But 
seriously, why be such a prick?

Time: Sun, 16-Dec-2001 16:42:00 GMT     IP: 152.163.204.179

Hey writers!!! A couple of chances to maybe capitalize on that 
writerly thing you do!! 
1. New Voices Iowa Playwrights Competition. This is through 
Unexpected Company, a new theatre group from Des Moines, and 
what they're looking for are full-length plays, which aren't 
musicals, adaptations, collaborations or screenplays. The 
deadline for this is Feb. 1, 2002. More info: 
www.unexpectedcompany.com

2. Ten minute Play Festival, City Theater Company, Wilmington, 
Delaware. The deadline for this one is January 31, and you can 
submit up to three plays. 25 plays are selected. More info: 
www.city-theater.org.

Happy Ness!!!

Time: Sun, 16-Dec-2001 23:58:27 GMT     IP: 207.225.233.36

"he who seeks the Colisseum
complain not of the lion's breath."

Time: Mon, 17-Dec-2001 02:15:35 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.130

OK, doing three pieces ripping on one guy is a bit much.  But 
screw anyone who criticizes Steve for writing/performing this 
piece.  I find it hilarious that anyone would post something that 
chastises another performer FOR CHASTISING ANOTHER PERFORMER.  
Yeah, sure, it *is* "No Shame", and the tagline is "Dare to 
fail!"  But don't think that for a second you should be able to 
pull a crap idea out of your, poorly perform it, and get away 
with nothing but a little criticism.  For anyone who regularly 
performs and is planning on a career with theatre: I would hope 
that you'd have thicker skin than to let a skit like that one 
EVER affect you for more than 30 seconds in a negative way.  If 
you don't have that quality, think about another line of work 
because if you do enough plays/acting/comedy/whatever, then it's 
inevitable someone's not gonna like you.  So grow out of the 
diaper and get some self-esteem you no-talent hacks :P

That being said; didn't Steve do this piece last year with one of 
the sections lampooning me?  I'd like to hear from someone what 
he said.  I remember hearing it was funny, but I never actually 
got to see it.  I bet it rocked.  See?  Bouncing back isn't a 
hard thing to do.  I got roasted burned with at least two pieces 
last semester, Stangl heckled me during two pieces, and I'm still 
coming back.

Time: Mon, 17-Dec-2001 04:03:35 GMT     IP: 205.244.162.76

Yay.  I am genuinely glad that Pookman is returning.  Although I 
found the pieces lampooning his work funnier than Pookman's own 
peices, I am eager to see what he has to offer.  As for Steve's 
piece, Steve is just as free to express himself any way he wants as 
anyone else who takes the NS stage.  If he hurts you personally, 
nothing about No Shame says that there is anything wrong with that 
(unless the 'damage to audience' rule is extended beyond it's 
intended interpretion of that rhetoric... but that would just be 
too ridiculous).  There's no accounting for the way a person will 
react to things on an idividual level, but I would hope that 
something like this most definitely WOULD affect its target for 
more than thirty seconds.  Anyone confronted with this kind of 
'criticism' ought to take the time to consider a lot of things 
about his or her work.  Did it merit such a negative response?  
Probably not; so think about what kinds of things were said and why 
and how your piece does and doesn't merit this attack.  Of course, 
at the outset, you are no doubt going to react emotionally.  That's 
a matter of you.  But after consideration, it should be a matter of 
blowing off the fact that your work has been trashed, and what 
can't so easily be blown off, maybe needs further examination.
    I was pretty deeply affected by a passing mention of my name in 
Aprille's Poop Magnolias.  It caused me to do a lot of questioning, 
both of myself and of Aprille and of art and sexuality and 
everything.  Then the fact that she chose to change the line for 
BONS to say JC Luxton, instead of Nick Clark was interesting too.  
I was never really upset about any of this, but it really did force 
me to consider and learn a lot.  I think I am stronger, as is my 
friendship with Aprille is stronger as a result.  This isn't really 
comparable to Steve's piece, but it is an example of a public 
portayal of me without my knowledge or consent.  I was upset, in a 
way, or rather shaken up.  It really isn't comparable, so maybe I 
shouldn't have mentioned it.  I did though, and maybe it is a 
little comparable anyhow.  Do you think I know what I'm talking 
about?  Cuz I don't.
    Now, while Steve has every right to present his work at No 
Shame, no matter what the rhetorical content, the board chose to 
include this peice in Best Of - granted the piece they chose was 
from last sememster dead week and mocked an entirely different five 
pieces.  Steve's update seemed targeted simply at making the piece 
accessible to the more recent audience.  Was it irresponsible of 
the board to select this piece for Best Of?  I don't have any 
immediate way of knowing the kinds of efforts and considerations 
that went into selecting any part of the BONS order, and don't feel 
qualified to say.
     Anyhow, I'm glad Pookman's coming back despite the very 
negative things that got thrown around about him with reagard to 
his work (I should mention I agreed with much of the criticism, 
when boiled down to criticism).  And I genuinely hope that Kurt 
comes back and performs again.

I'm gonna end this post here, cuz either it says what I want it to 
say, or I am too lost to continue.  My jaw hurts from Running Into 
Arlen.
Love, 
Nick.

Time: Mon, 17-Dec-2001 05:37:30 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.130

"Anyhow, I'm glad Pookman's coming back despite the very 
negative things that got thrown around about him with reagard to 
his work (I should mention I agreed with much of the criticism, 
when boiled down to criticism)."

This actually brings up a good chance to example the "just let if 
roll off your back" sh-tuff I was talking about in the earlier 
post.

What sucked so much about my pieces last year?  I really want you 
guys to lay into me (how often does someone ask you that?) and 
say.  Cause I'm planning on coming back in January, and I don't 
want to disappoint the crowds with crap.

Ok, so I had one .5 that I think went over with the regulars 
better than anything I every did, A piece about friday nights 
that went waaay over five minutes, and piece mocking homophobia 
that noone got as mocking homophobia and then everyone thought I 
was a homophobe, and...oh yeah, "You Know What I Hate" where I 
apparently stole a famous joke.

Now that your memories are refreshed, have at me.  I wanna see 
blood.

--Pooks

Time: Mon, 17-Dec-2001 09:31:41 GMT     IP: 63.95.17.136

Great show on Friday.  There's no doubting that you are all very 
talented.  Good-bye Neil.  Good luck.

Is this true?

Pookman claims...

"I got roasted burned with at least two pieces last semester, 
Stangl heckled me during two pieces, and I'm still coming back."

because this is not.

Also Pookman...

"no-talent hacks"

but still, if the former is true... that stinks.  bad.  like a 
Clarke/Stangl post no-shame make-out session.  after Osama 
strikes thrice.  after conservatives can no longer deny the 
evident (today) effects of global warming.  after life as we 
know it.  after... DEODORANT!  that stinks.  like a 
Clarke/Stangl post no-shame make-out session.  

How will Aprille Clarke feel when her turn comes... to cavort 
about the stage... NAKED!

Really, I could care less.  I know that when I come to no-shame 
on Friday's, as a performer or audience member, I feel great.  
There is a lot of talent at no-shame right now... A LOT!  It's 
the best place to be in town, every Friday night.  Even on 
nights it's not held.  I'm serious.  I've hung out there with 
Nick Clark.  Oh yeah, we're always there.  Never know when you 
might run into a regular.  One time Al Angel acutally shot us a 
dubious glance and 1/2 smile.  I would suggest that you all stop 
bickering, except, I like...     NO.     SHAME.     as in 
Michael Stipe's pre-"Orange" (debatable. possibly Automatic For 
the People.) career.     

Nick Clarke says...

"I was pretty deeply affected by a passing mention of my name in 
Aprille's Poop Magnolias.  It caused me to do a lot of 
questioning, both of myself and of Aprille and of art and 
sexuality and everything."  

Huh?  Something is going on between Nick Clarke and no-shame 
theatre... unhealthy relationship perhaps?  I myself do not 
know.  Just curious.   

Nick also says...

"It really isn't comparable, so maybe I shouldn't have mentioned 
it."

Correct.  In fact, I think it is statements such as these last 
two that earn no-shame its exclusive tag.  What does much of 
this all mean to the interested artist who seeks only an 
artistic community for experimentation?  who finds departmental 
bias, hierarcical chaos (an oxymoron) and FACISM!  I myself do 
not know.  Just curious.  FACISM = justajoke.

Nick...

"Anyhow, I'm glad Pookman's coming back"

Yes.

and Nick...

"I genuinely hope that Kurt comes back and performs again."

I am not recoiling as I am not Meyerman or Pookman.  I am 
anonymous and I cry, only if you are bothered by my anonymity, 
HYPOCRACY!  I am the Lord of Time and Space and I denounce these 
flash squabbles as, TRIVIAL!  I am also not Todd Ristau.  What's 
up with that guy?

Time: Mon, 17-Dec-2001 18:24:42 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.130

"no-talent hacks"

Yeah, there WAS a smiley behind that.  This usually denotes 
sarcasm and/or a joke.

Time: Mon, 17-Dec-2001 22:28:40 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.100

"but still, if the former is true... that stinks.  bad.  like a 
Clarke/Stangl post no-shame make-out session."

*kiss* Okay, darlin, what's that smell?
Richard, I'm gonna say... pine.
That's a good answer! Makes sense. SURVEY SAYS!
*clang* PINE          18 *applause*
Hey, Christy. *kiss* Now, there's a little pressure here. You get 
a strike, the Brooks family gets a chance to steal. All you need 
right now is 25 and you go to the final round, and a chance at 
ten thousand dollars. 
Um... Oh, Richard!
You're fine, darlin, just go ahead.
I'm- oh! I'd say, sweat and patchouli and a hint of peppermint.
*applause* Good answer, Christy! Good!
Okay, Christy. That's a big chance you're taking. Let's see if it 
pays off. SURVEY SAYS!
*clang* SWEAT/PATCHOULI/MINT         44

*banjo*

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 00:14:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.172

The only thing I didn't like about Pookman was when he would 
always hog the covers in bed.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 01:20:08 GMT     IP: 128.255.179.221

Are you guys kidding?  That was the fucking highlight of the 
show.  Do you know what it is like for the audience to sit 
through shit like he was mocking.  If I heard that fat-headed 
blonde kid say acorn or God is a woman ever again, I'll go nuts.  
And every time that God-damned camp counselor guy gets on stage I 
pray that God will send me a No Shame remote so I may fast 
forward through his pathetic dribble.  God bless the man who has 
courage to criticize, especially when some of those he is 
criticizing are right there in the audience.  Someone should give 
that man a hug!

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 03:24:11 GMT     IP: 207.225.233.36

you're fine, love.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 03:31:12 GMT     IP: 207.225.233.36

small shop, looking for partner; somebody experienced in various 
surveillance techniques, CRYPTOGRAPHY, pgp, strains of sf1.0, 
sf2.0 virii;will pay in cash after completion; may need travel 
to chicago; 

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 03:48:00 GMT     IP: 63.228.160.69

First of all, I like Kurt Meyermann's pieces. He has a lot to 
learn about what the audience wants, but we all do, except 
Neberagall, he knows. However, Kurt's pieces are really funny, I 
recall a great deal of laughter, yes mostly directed at HIM not 
his WORK, but I believe that was the intent of his humor. Kurt 
knows full well what he's bringing to the stage, and he know's 
that he is a large part of the joke. Let's let him grow, please 
Kurt if you are reading this, keep writing.

That being said, I also loved Steve "Captain N: The Game Master" H
(euertz)'s piece. It was meant in a good way, I hope Kurt and the 
acorn kid realize this. Steve parodied himself as well as others. 
It would have been just as funny to see him screach in an 
obnoxious Nebbie tone, or "OOH OOH I'M MAKING PUNS LOOK AT ME" 
It's satire. That's legal. I think.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 04:49:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

I've got poop in my butt right now, so that can probably help.  
I think.  It smells bad when I let it out.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 07:58:35 GMT     IP: 152.163.195.196

if i take my shirt off after drawing to my five of a kind, vomit 
on your balcony, pick up some QT bitches, put on my Sister 
Machinegun cd, dodge cops while stoned in the matrix and shoot 
you with my cap gun in playwriting class, do I get the job?

i styill have thyirty thyousand dyolarrs from wheyn I styick it 
yooo.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 14:27:04 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

please proceed with The Mission as planned, and then rendezvous 
at previously discussed location. you will be paid upon delivery.

please be aware of the following:
(1) subject will not be alone, and will prove difficult to 
separate,
(2) subject is in favor of all james bond movies. use this as 
means of regaining trust and comfort.
(3) subject has a weakness for jack daniels whiskey. this might 
be useful.
(4) a map of the location could not be obtained from local 
intelligence sources, so you will have to improvise to get the 
best recording possible,
(5) any other Level 303 admissions/confessions/submissions 
obtained will be paid for according to value,
(6) the subject lives in a safe-house in china-town. please be 
aware of the political climate and bring your Chairman Mao 
lighter as proof of political affiliation,

Operations says this mission could get hairy. Subject is rumored 
to be purchasing an electronics device during your stay. along 
with your surveillance, this device must be examined. report back 
with your findings.

That is all.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 15:55:23 GMT     IP: 165.123.8.83

It's a scrub!! Mission abort!! Mandi Lee's cooch is exposed! The 
fetus' head is hanging out. Also, Eric Curtis has dropped all 
ties with Becca and Seattle Rep, making this year's fringe 
festival one big ganked mushroom penis musical. Kevin bought Tony 
Curran's dildo from Catherine Horowitz, and Jake "so fockin tite" 
Weinberg bought skunk weed to play Checkpoint on a NFL 2K1 server 
with Rooster Cog. A total sub-seven for Jewel. Your mom.

AMY HAS NO TECH SUPPORT!!!

See you in New Orleans.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 16:09:20 GMT     IP: 165.123.8.83

Hey George, how are ya? Miss you, call me sometime. Number is 215-
898-7622. Hope to hear from ya

-K

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 16:26:40 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

36L - 15R - 33L.

You know what to do.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 16:41:48 GMT     IP: 165.123.8.83

Press U,U,D,D,A,B,A,B,select,start for infinite gankables.

Time: Tue, 18-Dec-2001 17:03:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

Trautman: What are you doing? Do you know what the hell you've 
done?

Murdock: Don't act so innocent, Colonel. You had your 
suspicions, and if you suspected then you're sort of an 
accessory aren't ya?

Trautman: Don't ever count me with you and your scum! It was a 
lie wasn't it? Just like the whole damn war, it was a lie!

Murdock: What are you talking about?

Trautman: That camp... was supposed to be empty. Rambo goes in, 
a decorated vet, he finds no POWs, the Congress buys it -- case 
closed! And if he happens to get caught, nobody knows he's alive 
except you and your computers... and you can reprogram that 
can't you?

Murdock: Who the hell do you think you're talking to, Trautman?

Trautman: A stinkin' bureaucrat who's tryin to cover his ass!

Murdock: No, not just mine Trautman. We're talkin' about a 
nation here! Besides, it was your hero's fault. Now if your 
warrior had gone in and done what the hell he was supposed to 
do, we'd be out of this clean and simple. He was just supposed 
to take pictures!

Trautman: And if those pictures showed something they would have 
been... lost... wouldn't they?

Murdock: Oh Trautman, I still don't think you understand what 
this is all about.

Trautman: The same as it always is! Money! In '72 we were 
supposed to pay the Cong four-and-a-half billion in war 
reparations. We reneged, they kept the POWs... and you're doing 
the same thing all over again.

Murdock: And what the hell would you do, Trautman? Pay blackmail 
money to ransom our own men and finance the war effort against 
our allies? What if some burn-out POW shows up on the six o-
clock news? What do you want to do... start the war all over 
again? You wanna bomb Hanoi? You want everybody screaming for 
armed invasion? Do you honestly think somebody's gonna get up on 
the floor of the United States Senate, and ask for billions of 
dollars for a couple of forgotten ghosts?!

Trautman: MEN, GODDAMN IT! MEN... who fought for their country!

Murdock: THAT'S ENOUGH! Trautman, I'm gonna forget this 
conversation ever took place.

Trautman: You bastard!

Murdock: And if I were you... I'd never make the mistake of 
bringing this subject up again.

Trautman: Oh you're the one who's making the mistake.

Murdock: Yeah? What mistake?

Trautman: Rambo.

Time: Wed, 19-Dec-2001 03:58:30 GMT     IP: 207.225.233.36

Mission Plan is as follows:

(1) arrive in chicago on the weekened of February 2, 2002,
(2) infiltrate Positron Records CD Release party,
(3) follow subject home,
(4) infiltrate subjects home,
(5) record The Conversation,
(6) deliver the contents to the Sheraton Hotel, Downtown

Important Details
*1: upon arrival, contact The Jew and enlist his services. he 
will prove essential to the completion of the mission.
*2: all details in previous Mission Assignment are relevant here.
*3: subject has been known to have a weakness for Poker; this 
mught be exploitable.
*4: under no circumstances are you to be caught with recording 
devices during infiltration and surveillance. please exercise 
extreme caution.

That is all.

Time: Wed, 19-Dec-2001 07:54:05 GMT     IP: 152.163.207.63

The Jew will be distracted by Super Bowl festivites on the 4th of 
February. However, his dossier indicated said festivities can be 
incorporated into the Mission Plan with minimal loss of 
efficency. Subject will be available for any and all mission 
activities on said weekend.

Sisselpeerian signing off.

Time: Wed, 19-Dec-2001 07:58:27 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

I am the Jew and the football... I do not like.
Ciao, dreidel!

Time: Wed, 19-Dec-2001 08:27:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

What is this mission you speak of?  Back in my day all it took 
was a sexy secretary and an elite team of undercover agents to 
get the job done.  But then again, I am dead, so what do I know?

Time: Wed, 19-Dec-2001 15:27:16 GMT     IP: 24.9.193.130

Hello,

Fucking hellshit muthafuckas.  I fucking heard you fucking guys 
fucking ruled, and holy christ shit do I need a fucking need 
some new assfaces to fucking star in my cock-chugging movies.  
That's muthafucking right, dildo-dicks; I am fucking making *3* 
god-damn new fucking movies, and I fucking want you christ-
raping sons-a-bitches to fucking head them the fuck up.  I'll be 
@ the next show if anyone has any questions or concerns with me 
and my hiring practices.  Cock muthafucka shit ass dildo cunt-
licking spooge-eating fucks!


Sincerely,
Fuckwad

Time: Thu, 20-Dec-2001 00:16:12 GMT     IP: 64.254.196.15

SINGLE FILE: A solo performance festival, is currently accepting 
submissions. The festival, which will be held March 23-28 at the 
theatre located at Halsted and Diversey in Chicago, will feature 
a diverse array of over 20 performances by actors/so performers 
from around the country and will offer workshops. For more 
information and application, please e-mail 
producefresh2002@yahoo.com. SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS JANUARY 7, 
2002.

Time: Thu, 20-Dec-2001 22:21:08 GMT     IP: 216.161.122.85

Sure, satire is legal.  And, sure, anybody at no shame is 
allowed to make fun of whomever or whatever they like.  But just 
because something is permitted doesn't make it the right thing 
to do.  Steve Heuertz had every right to perform this skit, but 
that doesn't mean he shouldn't have thought about whom it might 
hurt.

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 01:38:06 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

The Mission is a go. Good luck.

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 02:27:52 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.84

:Sure, satire is legal.  And, sure, anybody at no shame is allowed
:to make fun of whomever or whatever they like.  But just because
:something is permitted doesn't make it the right thing to do. 
:Steve Heuertz had every right to perform this skit, but that
:doesn't mean he shouldn't have thought about whom it might hurt.


This is true and fair, and I considered it when composing my 
previous post, but Kurt actually did enough parodying of other 
pieces (Al's poop sketches spring readily to mind) and of pretty 
much every No Shame participant ("Stoned Theatre Majors") that it 
doesn't really seem altogether unreasonable that Steve might assume 
that Kurt was comfortable with parody, and that he wouldn't take it 
as hurtful.  Yes, it is important to be compassionate and 
considerate when we perform.  I feel fairly certain that Steve 
wasn't intending to be hurtful, and hadn't anticipated that Kurt 
would take any more offense to Steve's BONS bit than Al took to 
Kurt's mockery of the poop sketches.  I'm not trying to defend 
either performer's decision.  The one time I made direct defamatory 
referrence to another NS piece in one of mine, I felt badly about 
it immediately, and knew it hadn't gone over (I had even asked the 
author of the piece I mocked for permission beforehand).  So my 
experience has steered me clear of it.  SO the point is, though, 
Kurt's feelings did get hurt, Steve did apologize, and as I 
understand, felt pretty bad about it, and (this is really just me 
extrapolating) I think as a result, when Kurt comes back to NS to 
perform again, he will probably be more comfortable swapping 
criticism with Steve, and vice-versa.  What's done is done, and 
it's up to Steve and Kurt to respond to things constructively.

-n

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 02:32:31 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.84

Anybody else remember when the NS web board was for NS stuff, and 
creepy cryptic boring insidey stuff was relegated to ISCA?  Anybody 
else miss those days?

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 07:37:10 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

I was just checking out http://www.epguides.com
They have a listing of every "Saved by The Bell" episode from 
all four seasons.
I looked over each list. I read each summary. And guess what? 
I've seen all ninety episodes - most often three times each.
Just wanted to let everyone know how much I've wasted my life.

Check that! How much you've wasted YOUR life! 

Double check that! How much I rule and you don't!

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 20:24:47 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

anybody else miss those when one no-shamer would flame another no-
shamers work cuz it sucked? yah, those were the dayz...

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 21:53:17 GMT     IP: 165.123.8.83

Unable to comply---multiple agents working for multiple 
agencies. Transmission garbled.

If Mike Rothschild ends up pregnant, I won't be surprised.

-Logan

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 22:18:53 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

Neither will I.  Neither will I...

Time: Fri, 21-Dec-2001 23:53:22 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

Operations has authorized you to find a suitable safe-house for 
Mission Debrief.

As for the feb2 mission: we will need the talents of the nyc crew 
for this one as well. our target has sharp skills in poker. we 
will need more logistics support.

to the nyc crew: supabowl weekend in chicago---are you in or out?

Time: Sat, 22-Dec-2001 04:47:05 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162


Negatory. NYC Crew taking heavy fire from Production Manager. 
Comp time discontinued due to heavy conflict along 
dance/performance art/self-indulgent therapy monologue border. 
Overtime pay unexpected. Heavy casualties. Considering writing 
short stories, falling on grenade. However, Vegas trip entirely 
possible in summer. Depends on troop movements. Stop.

Let's do this one for the girls back home. Boy, you think the 
trenches are wet and miserable.

Red 6

Time: Sat, 22-Dec-2001 08:07:05 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

inside joke, inside joke.
inside joke. wasting people's time.
wasting people's time. inside joke.
no one gives a shit.
inside joke.

Time: Sat, 22-Dec-2001 08:32:36 GMT     IP: 152.163.197.199

Extraction procedures on schedule for The Jew to head westward in 
the May/June time period. Will advise on exact timing and convoy 
movements, but should be available for Vegas rendezvous/viewing 
of flyers for prostitutes. Schedule cleared for SuperBowl 
weekend, stand ready to recieve/entertain envoy from Seattle.

Mike Rothschild is not currently "with child", but he has felt an 
odd craving for prawn ice cream...

Time: Sat, 22-Dec-2001 16:18:55 GMT     IP: 24.178.150.8

poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop 
poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop 
poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop 
poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop 
poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop 
poop poop poop poo

Time: Sat, 22-Dec-2001 22:34:01 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162

Aw, heck. What else are you going to do with the board during the 
off season?

Dan

Time: Sat, 22-Dec-2001 22:34:50 GMT     IP: 209.212.82.162

Never mind. I just read the poop message.

Time: Sun, 23-Dec-2001 05:31:39 GMT     IP: 206.72.33.253

Yeah, that was pointless.

Time: Sun, 23-Dec-2001 05:32:30 GMT     IP: 206.72.33.253

Come to think of it, so was that.

Time: Sun, 23-Dec-2001 21:01:32 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.103

Hey Computer Fags! Happy Holiday. S.

   I'm at my parents' house. Smells like cookies in here! I 
wanted to write to my No Shame friends and say what's with the 
Art Gallery on noshame.org? There's all kinda sexellent NST-IC 
art NOT in the Gallery: posters, programs, newspaper adverts... 
and I know Messrs Angel, River and myself often draw heartless 
caricatures of performers during the show. Why are none of these 
gems on the web-thing?
   When I get home, will one of you tech-savvy heteros give me 
a "buzz"? and we'll "scan" some stuff and send it to 
the "webmaster" (?!) and he'll "upload" it onto the "intern-et"! 
I feel like Luke Skywalker when I talk like this!

  ALSO: Coming soon expect NO SHAME T-shirts! All new design!
You can even wear it if you have no legs!

  My birth-celebre is on December 27.
  My hangover is on December 28.

Love and rockits,
       Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Sun, 23-Dec-2001 21:11:07 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.103


So?

    Out of historical curiosity, does anyone, esp. "Old 
Skoolers" know the origin(s) of ex-NST logo Baby Riding On 
Flying Fish? Is this original-for NST art? By who? "Clip" 
art? "Stolen" art?

     Reply in next two days.

            -Rev. C. Stangl

Time: Sun, 23-Dec-2001 21:37:48 GMT     IP: 24.4.252.103

"Unfortunately, Chris Stangl lost his fight against cancer 14 
years ago at the age of 22."

   I found that information on the InnerNet at 
http://www.pdcorp.com/law-enforcement/pdc-news.html

   Read it and weep! Profusely!
   I don't think it's truely about me.

    -Rev. Chris Stangl.
    I was going to PAY for that, and I DO have a perscription 
for those pills...

Time: Mon, 24-Dec-2001 04:38:08 GMT     IP: 209.56.97.24

Hey Chris,

They have big daddy scanners and free computer usage for 
students at weeg computer lab, which is open 24/7.  Maybe you 
can persuade Arlen to tell you his password.  I'd give you mine 
if I weren't using a public forum as a substitute for your email 
address.

Love,  Aaron

Time: Mon, 24-Dec-2001 19:43:03 GMT     IP: 207.177.43.216

Holy Shit!  That's a lot of poop!

Time: Mon, 24-Dec-2001 19:47:48 GMT     IP: 207.177.43.216

I just wanted to clear the air and say that I am not a lesbian.  
I don't even like girls.

Time: Mon, 24-Dec-2001 21:54:54 GMT     IP: 207.177.43.216

So much poop that I had to post me reply twice!

Time: Tue, 25-Dec-2001 04:59:11 GMT     IP: 216.248.99.3

I've got all the technologicals needed for such a feat, and I'd 
be pleased as punch to help. Scanners, digital cameras, graphics 
editors, robotic children... whatever you can dream up while 
asleep is present in my home of the future. It'd be a snap.

Pleasantly offering,
Boylyssa

Time: Wed, 26-Dec-2001 08:03:22 GMT     IP: 205.188.193.176

TECH SUPPORT!!!!!!!
TECH SUPPORT!!!!

YAAAAAARRRRRGHHHH

Time: Thu, 27-Dec-2001 02:20:45 GMT     IP: 24.182.243.251

fill it in:

no shame was...

no shame is...

no shame should be...


its like mad libs...only worse.

Time: Thu, 27-Dec-2001 06:31:26 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.142

Stop it.  Stop bringing it up.  It was a while ago.  It had been 
put to rest, but people keep bringing it up to criticize it and 
it reignites.  Shut up, already.

Time: Thu, 27-Dec-2001 06:44:56 GMT     IP: 204.246.221.94

No Shame was...my penis.

No Shame is...Carl Lewis' penis.

No Shame should be...the entire script of License To Drive 
repeated every week, with Matthew Modine as Corey Haim, Jim 
Belushi as Corey Feldman, and Enrique Caruso as the drunk guy who 
pukes in Corey Haim's car.

Time: Thu, 27-Dec-2001 20:07:18 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

whats with all the sophomoric humor?

oh wait--i forgot:

you cant be funny unless it involves poop, penises, vaginas, or 
any other bodily function.

wit is dead. long live the grotesque.

Time: Thu, 27-Dec-2001 21:14:36 GMT     IP: 24.6.203.142

  Actually, for the most part, the poop, penis, vagina, and 
bodily function jokes at No Shame are meta-jokes, fully aware of 
how sophomoric they are.  The joke is that they are being told, 
and usually by some pretty witty people.  It's actually 
surprisingly high brow there, Snobby.
 
  I've said that or something like it a million times and am 
boring myself.  I will probably say it a million times more.

   I can't vouch for the poops and penises on this board, but 
this board is a very small sample of the universe, and anything 
observed here shouldn't really be used to make a judgment as 
broad as "wit is dead."

Arlen "Pickin' Fights, Apparently" Lawson

Time: Fri, 28-Dec-2001 00:36:30 GMT     IP: 208.50.104.191

John Candy is dead too, but no one feels the need to make that 
point known.

Time: Fri, 28-Dec-2001 21:07:03 GMT     IP: 66.89.135.99

the mission is a go. good luck. Operations will monitor all 
radio freqencies for exfil orders.

Operations out.

Time: Sat, 29-Dec-2001 03:23:23 GMT     IP: 172.142.225.18

I was told that the fish baby was a public domain drawing 
(i.e. very old) that someone found somewhere.

...Jeff

Time: Sun, 30-Dec-2001 22:59:56 GMT     IP: 24.182.243.251

jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz 
jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz 
jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz 
jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz 
jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz 
jizz jizz jizz jiz

Time: Mon, 31-Dec-2001 04:06:42 GMT     IP: 205.244.160.124

I may sound sarcastic, smarmy or facetious but I'm sincere and 
inarticulate.  Arlen thanks for saying something smart on the 
board.  It was about time someone did.  I agree with the content of 
what you said, and I applaud your willingness to say something like 
this.  You go boy.  You are smart.
-n