Time: Wed, 01-May-2002 12:56:23 GMT     IP: 216.243.220.117

*point* what he said. Except for two things: Why doesn't Jamal's 
last name count for anything? "Erwin, Clarke, Jamal--" what is 
that? Are Aprille and I being punished for having prosaic names?

And also, part 2 was great. I missed seeing part 2. 

Time: Wed, 01-May-2002 17:51:51 GMT     IP: 167.83.10.24


Though I made the effort to type the entire title of last 
week's "a thing for rumpy" (which is more than order-reader Mose 
did, I quote "There's a whole paragraph here! And it's 
stupid!"), I neglected to record that the piece was:

   Written by James Horak.


        -This isn't me, I'm not mechanical,
                      Rev. C.M. Stangl

Time: Wed, 01-May-2002 23:00:01 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

Well, Erwin, it seems as though someone left you out of the 
loop.  Erwin is in fact your first name, as well as your last 
name.  You see, we are all in the "Matrix" as Hollywood likes to 
call it.  I prefer the term flagella.  But, in the flagella, 
there are no first or last names, only state of mind.  And if 
you continue to remain in this "James is my first name" state of 
mind, you will be sadly disappointed when the truth is brought 
to everyone's eyes.  Just remember that this is not a working, 
merely an announcement of things that are yet to come.  Watch 
with vigilance, and you may find the truth.

Follow The White Rabbit.

Time: Thu, 02-May-2002 02:02:39 GMT     IP: 12.217.189.70

I like to think of it like Super Mario Bros. instead of 'the 
Matrix,' because Super Mario Bros. is better.

Time: Thu, 02-May-2002 17:28:33 GMT     IP: 12.106.111.10

Say,
 Have you thought of doing this as a monologue at No Shame?

Time: Fri, 03-May-2002 04:21:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

Must you be reminded again?!
My Business Failed in Three Weeks is playing at...

GABE'S
FRIDAY, MAY 3
9pm
w/ The Eggnogs and The Frogs

And oh yeah!  Did I mention "Furious Skinny" will be performing 
in our set? Yes! Yes! It's true!

We'll be done by 10:45, so you can catch that "Best of" you all 
love.

Also, we play...

GABE'S 
SUNDAY, MAY 5
7pm
w/ Matt Bar, Racecar Radar, Faultines

We play second around 8:30/9! Come for us! Come for the others! 
Come for forgiveness!

See ya'. WOULD want to be ya'!.

Time: Fri, 03-May-2002 21:15:09 GMT     IP: 216.243.220.117

DJ- I must take issue with your suggestion, for it trivializes to 
a great extent what M. Heuertz has proposed, and I must treat his 
premise with the greatest seriousness.

In nearly every ancient culture, naming was viewed as an act of 
the most serious consequence and a magickal ritual (Crowley and 
his post-Victorian leerings notwithstanding) of unparalleled 
importance. 

"This is not a working," says M. Heuertz. 

"Erwin is your first name, and your middle name." 

Erwin. Erwin. Erwin. 
Erwin, Erwin E. 
e e erwin.

A single word, magnified threefold. A signifier of dire portent 
and rich Saxon etymology. I do not fear a sudden fever, or the 
shrieking of incorporeal tormentors. Like Sartre's Orestes, whose 
positivism was redolent of nihilistic fervor, I do not fear the 
anger of the dissipated gods. I fear no torment of the flesh.

What I fear most in this world, Steve Heuertz, is a terror you 
have summoned forth to scratch and clitter at my windowsill; the 
loss of my identity. That all my foibles and dreams, lofty ideas 
and fervid lusts, will be reduced to the shorthand summation of a 
cutout persona- "Erwin". 

"Oh, that's just Erwin." I want to be felt. I want to be loved. 
You have made me fodder for an anecdote. No blacker magic in this 
world, Steve. No fouler deed. 

James Lin Erwin.

Time: Fri, 03-May-2002 23:59:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.173.90

11. "The Singing Piece! (based on actual events!)" by Toni 
Wilson
[Tabor, Hansen, Wilson, Lane, ?]
      Inept falsetto serenade fails to win woman's heart; 
comedy sketch.

This piece was very very good.  It deserves consideration for 
next Fall's BONS if we can remember forward that far.

Time: Sat, 04-May-2002 04:13:31 GMT     IP: 128.255.188.48

why doesn't it say anywhere on this freaking site what time 
shows start?

Time: Sat, 04-May-2002 07:47:25 GMT     IP: 12.217.233.170

11:00, biotch.

If you weren't a drunk ho, you'd know that.

Time: Sun, 05-May-2002 18:59:30 GMT     IP: 172.154.231.26

The BONS order has been known to have last-minute 
changes in the past, so as your friendly, neighborhood 
archivist, I have to ask:

Can someone confirm whether there were any changes to 
the BONS order as previously posted?

...Jeff

1. "This is a Comedy Piece, so You Will Ideally Laugh," by 
Jason Nebergall

2. "Whale Tale" by al angel

3. "Safe Passage" by Christopher Okiishi

3.5. "Garden Party IV" by Ron Wright

4. "Emma: an Apology" by Toni Wilson

5. "Teabags are about 100% THC" by Alyssa Bowman

6. "White Meat Like Pork or Breast Chicken" by Mark J. 
Hansen

7. "The Hilarious Mexico Sketch" by James Erwin

7.5. "Surf Ninjas: a Road to Excellence" by Seth Brennemann

8. "I Love Almost Everybody... Except Roy Orbitson, or, 
Michael's Done it Again: Death Count: 38" by Naked Michael 
Tabor

9. "Philmont Chronicles: Volume Two, Don't You Dare Give 
ME the Bird" by Kurt Meyermann

9.5. "My Butt is Pretty" by Maria Hill

10. "Old Man Tears with Genghis and Hopey" by Arlen 
Lawson

11. a song?!?! by FURIOUS SKINNY

12. "Sea Badge" by Paul Rust

13. "Who is Stupider?" by Jamal River

14. "Fortune Cookie Nights- a spinn-off; 10 30-second plays 
about Carl" by Aprille Clarke

15. "The Lady Grew So Fast" by Chris Stangl

Time: Mon, 06-May-2002 20:38:23 GMT     IP: 128.255.174.15

11. "You'll Get Married" by Jamal River, performed by Furious 
Skinny

Time: Wed, 08-May-2002 00:08:05 GMT     IP: 12.217.229.152

Hi everybody.

I have photos from BONS 2002.  They're not as good as the 
ones my dad took last year, of course, but there are some 
dandies.  And by that I mean gay people.

Enjoy them at http://www.avalon.net/~aprille/bons.html

The page of thumbnails might take a bit to load.  I didn't put 
any alt tags on because why would blind people want to see 
BONS photos anyway?

P.S. Se–or Webmaster:  you have my permission to use 
these photos as you wish.

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 01:45:39 GMT     IP: 209.56.60.2

James,
  Though this follow-up is late, nonetheless I thank you for your 
apologies.  True, I perhaps am the oldest regular attendee of No 
Shame, however you are the member who has attended No Shame over 
the longest period of time.  I hereby nominate you for the No 
Shame Lifetime Achievement Award for your notable contributions 
to No Shame, your outstanding writing and acting abilities, as 
well as having no other place to go on Friday nights during UI 
fall and spring semesters.
Ron

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 02:54:21 GMT     IP: 12.217.181.138

Ron, 

Your words fill me with blushing foot-shuffling. Modesty prevents 
me from agreeing with your statements in total, but it is true 
that I am often without other entertainment on Friday nights. 
Such is the lonely path of a campaign consultant. Rest assured, 
though, that my days are filled with zest and activity, endless 
conversation, laughter and sometimes honest joy. It is only in 
the quiet moments, the soft edgeless minutes before sleep, that 
the exhaustion creeps in, the anxious trembling pauses before the 
mirror. 

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 04:53:09 GMT     IP: 12.217.248.128

Thanks Aprille!

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 06:05:42 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

Chris Stangl is sooooooooo hot!!!

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 06:06:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

I think Chris Stangl is 
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot.

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 06:08:03 GMT     IP: 128.255.202.75

I think that Steve Heuertz is sooooooooooooooooooooo hot...

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 13:01:46 GMT     IP: 128.255.179.87

Steve Heuertz is the hottest of them all. HARDCORE.

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 19:11:27 GMT     IP: 64.6.86.45

It's me!  Back from the grave.


Will you pitiless bastards stop talking about how hot these 
poor lads look already and somebody at least offer them a 
glass of lemonade?

Time: Thu, 09-May-2002 23:36:42 GMT     IP: 64.6.87.220

Hey everybody,

The board fell a little behind this year in organizing to give 
away scholarships, but rest assured there will be moneys 
awarded.  Usually two $500 scholarships are awarded, although 
both the amount of the awards and the number of recipients may 
vary depending on the applicant pool and what funds are 
available.  Here are the requirements for application:

-Applicants must be enrolled at a college or university for the 
2002-2003 school year.

-Applicants must have written for No Shame sometime during 
(either of) the past two semesters.

-Applicants must submit a ten-page writing sample of their work 
and a one-page cover letter explaining why they are deserving of 
a scholarship.  It is not required that the writing sample 
include work that has been performed at No Shame previously, or 
work that is intended to be performed at No Shame at all.  
Excerpts from plays, poetry, prose, love notes, any kind or 
writing is fine.

-It is not required, but applicants may choose to send a copy of 
their grade report with their application.  Official transcripts 
aren't necessary.

-Submit applications by paper mail to:

Aaron Galbraith
590 Foster Road, Apt. #B6
Iowa City, IA 52245

or by email attachment (MS Word please) to: 

aaronRgalbraith@hotmail.com

-The application deadline is June 1, 2002.  If this poses a 
problem for anyone, let us know.

Sincerely,

The No Shame Board

Aprille Clark        brackish@hotmail.com
Aaron Galbraith      aaronRgalbraith@hotmail.com
Jamal River          frackledart@hotmail.com
Paul Rust            strangelove45@hotmail.com
Chris Stangl         cmstangl@msn.com

Time: Fri, 10-May-2002 08:14:12 GMT     IP: 172.136.46.79

Before you shuffle off this mortal school year, don't forget to 
preserve your No Shames for posterity in the historic No 
Shame Web Library.

Now that your friendly neighborhood webmaster has 
upgraded to late-20th Century software, scripts can be 
submitted in almost any wordprocessor format.

Just attach a document to an email and send it to 
NoShTh@aol.com

...Jeff

(Submissions to noshame.org are for archival purposes 
only.  All scripts remain the sole property of the author or 
authors.)

Time: Fri, 10-May-2002 14:02:14 GMT     IP: 216.81.214.92

And I think it should be noted again how much Jeff rocks. This is 
a man half a continent away. He lives in a place with sunshine 
and oceans and mountains and very pretty ladies. He invented that 
one show on MTV! And yet he spends all that time working on the 
website. Big, big amounts of time. He does this for you, but 
dollars to donuts he has never seen your face or surreptitiously 
smelled your hair like I have! I dig Jeff. He's wicked cool. 

Time: Sun, 12-May-2002 01:51:07 GMT     IP: 64.6.87.247

I got my computer put back together again.  For those of you 
who were holding off on emailing marriage proposals and 
such to me, feel free now.

-Your loving Nick.

Time: Sun, 12-May-2002 03:08:45 GMT     IP: 128.255.173.90

The photos are good, but I feel neglected **sniff**--


--Or is that I'm too handsome to go on the photo list.  Yeah 
that's it we don't want to make the other male performers 
jealous, so I got left out.

Time: Mon, 13-May-2002 01:46:39 GMT     IP: 64.6.85.165

Scalenex...who are you?

Time: Mon, 13-May-2002 02:15:21 GMT     IP: 128.255.173.90

I'm Kurt Meyermann, I use Scalenex on all my Internetish things.

Time: Tue, 14-May-2002 23:39:35 GMT     IP: 24.29.120.242

Duders!

I will be in Iowa City this Thursday through Sunday.  I want to 
see all of you!  Well, most of you.  And while I will do my 
best to do so, a good way to guarantee that you'll see me (and 
I you) would be to go to Theatre Prom on Saturday night.  I 
don't really know what time it is, but it's at the Theatre 
Building and all are invited.  At least, that's what I 
remember. Maybe someone else w/ more knowledge will post the 
details.  It's much fun!

Balls 

Time: Wed, 15-May-2002 02:16:48 GMT     IP: 128.255.52.147

Theatre prom will be in Theatre A (across from Theatre B) at the 
theatre building this Saturday from 10p to 1a.  Admission price 
is $3 or $4 at the door.  You need not be a theatre major, or 
dress up nice, or bring a date.  Just come and have a good time 
and help us get Neil as much action as possible while he's in 
town.

Aaron

Time: Wed, 15-May-2002 22:14:19 GMT     IP: 167.83.10.24

     Are you Chris Stangl's friend? I don't believe you. If you 
were really my friend you would sell me your tickets for the 
midnight screening of Star Wars. You would sell them for $15 
each. I will pay you that. I will then belt you about the mouth, 
and mouth you about the belt.
    You know how usually "premieres May 16" means the evening of 
May 16? So you want to start waiting in line early May 16, or 
the night of May 15? It doesn't anymore, so DON'T BOTHER TAKING 
THE DAY OFF WORK because you can fucking buy fucking tickets for 
a 12:01 AM May 16 fucking show at 10:30 am fucking May fuck-15-
ing-th.'

      I have a real light saber. It's green. Rev. Chris Stangl

Time: Fri, 17-May-2002 05:36:21 GMT     IP: 205.188.196.36

Is there beer at prom this year? I remember two years ago when 
Mary and I were putting it together, we tried so hard to get the 
department to let us have beer, or figure out some sort of 
alternative involving booze, and everyone just ended up pissing 
up in the parking lot. Well, I didn't. But a lot of people did. 
It was crazy. Mothers and daughters performing sexual acts.

mike

Time: Fri, 17-May-2002 20:14:43 GMT     IP: 216.81.214.77

For those of you playing the No Shame Home Game, Mike Rothschild 
lives in Chicago, where all beer and bathtub gin is under the 
control of Alfonse "Scarface" Capone. Mike crosses state lines to 
drink in order to avoid unseemly entanglements with the Chicago 
Mob.

Speaking of unseemly entanglements, I have performed sexual acts 
with people who are both daughters AND mothers! Polymorphous, 
baby.

Time: Sat, 18-May-2002 01:35:11 GMT     IP: 128.255.52.127

This is the message I saw engraved on the windowsill of the 
men's toilet on the first floor of Seashore hall tonight.  Who 
would do such a thing?  I am bubbling over with curiosity.