[LIGHTS UP.]

ADAM: I KNOW! Isn’t that nuts?!!? So then Bad Brad walks in, acting like he owns the place…

CHRIS: …As if everyone hadn’t heard he got fired from that fancy job of his…

ADAM: …exactly! So he’s applying for the new manager position, puttin’ on airs about how he doesn’t really need the job, but we all know he couldn’t even afford to eat there if he didn’t get it. And just then Jeannine hurtles around the corner—

CHRIS: Who?

ADAM: Jeannine. You know, Nanuka of the North? [CHRIS looks lost] …the Ice Princess?

CHRIS: Oh, her!

ADAM: Yeah, so she barrels right into him and spills her drink all over him!

CHRIS: No!

ADAM: Yeah! A real first.

CHRIS: What do you mean?

ADAM: First blowjob he ever got that he didn’t have to pay for!

[They laugh maliciously.]

CHRIS: Oh, hey... I saw Out-of-Place Man downtown.

ADAM: Who is he again?

CHRIS: Remember? That guy who used to hang out at the club? He was always dancing with a crowd of guys about five years younger than him, trying to look like he fit in? Out-of-Place Man.

ADAM: Short guy, black hair, always wore stripes?

CHRIS: Yeah, that’s the guy.

ADAM: Loser Dave!

CHRIS: Yeah! And I tried to walk a different way to avoid him, but then I saw Creepy Shannon Guy.

ADAM: Ohmigod, what did you do?

CHRIS: Well I wanted to scream and run, but I think his vision is based on movement. So I stood really still, and he walked by like I wasn’t even there.

ADAM: Close call!

CHRIS: You’re telling me!

[slight pause; pace turns thoughtful.]

ADAM: Has anyone even met Creepy Shannon Guy?

CHRIS: Not that I know of.

ADAM: He looks just like Shannon.

CHRIS: Yeah.

ADAM: He sure is creepy, though.

CHRIS: Yeah…

ADAM: I wonder if he knows people talk about him…?

CHRIS: Hmmm….

[They ponder this notion.]

[LIGHTS FADE.]