Four Cycle: pt2 - The Old Man Who Could Not Drive A Tractor by Drake Iowa

[LIGHTS UP on FIANCEE and OLD WOMAN at table.]

FIANCEE

[glancing over his shoulder.] There it is again. You hear it, right?

OLD WOMAN

Oh, uh, I think so. [beat] Listen, I have something to tell you, and I don’t know just how. I’m just going to — just say it.

FIANCEE

Oh. Kay.

OLD WOMAN

I’m pregnant.

FIANCEE

Do you really have something to tell me, or is this the joke?

OLD WOMAN

Really.

FIANCEE

You are not… You? How?

OLD WOMAN

I can’t imagine, myself. You don’t suppose you and I have… have we?

FIANCEE

[squints a bit] You and me? You are kidding.

OLD WOMAN

Well, I mean, did we?

FIANCEE

I… don’t think so. I’m engaged, and you’re… old.

OLD WOMAN

True enough. Still. I am pregnant. And I can be pretty seductive sometimes.

FIANCEE

Are you sure you don’t hear the harvester out there? That’s so weird.

OLD WOMAN

You know how many men I’ve seen since I came back here? Aside from the neighbor man, there’s just you. And I live with you.

FIANCEE

But I’m engaged.

OLD WOMAN

I can be… pretty subtle in my seductions.

FIANCEE

Don’t you think a guy’d notice if…

OLD WOMAN

Wouldn’t be the first time. Now you and I have been here, what, nearly four years, and you’ve never even seen my daughter in all that time.

FIANCEE

[beat, softer] She’ll be back.

OLD WOMAN

That’s it, boy. Don’t lose hope.

FIANCEE

I really miss your daughter.

OLD WOMAN

I think I’m going to have the baby.

FIANCEE

I think you’re an old woman desperate for attention.

OLD WOMAN

That grain harvester. I hadn’t even thought about it. [beat] I hope my daughter comes back.

FIANCEE

So that you can claim your inheritance, you mean?

OLD WOMAN

Believe it or not, I was thinking of you.

FIANCEE

[tense pause] Damn, you’re subtle.

[Blackout.]