copyright © 2002 James Horak

comedy sketch/dream, three roles, gender neutral


-----------

Subconscious Vomit

by James Horak


LIGHTS DOWN AND UP.


HORAK: (enters from stage left, stands on a chair)  I am a glick.


STEIN: (enters from stage right, stands on a table) I am also a glick.


STANGL:  (enters from stage left, sits on the floor)  I am also, also a 

glick.


ALL: (they hold up their peanut butter cans)  Glicks like to eat peanut 

butter.  (they open their pb cans and spoon globs into their mouths.  It 

will make it hard to talk.  Even if it doesn't, they pretend it does.  they 

continue to eat pb throughout the piece.)


STANGL:  I will now do a glick folk dance to give insight on glick culture.  

(he pauses for a beat, then humps the floor.  He continues to hump things 

throughout the piece)


STEIN:  A rose is a rose is a rose.


HORAK:  God is a fucker.


STANGL:  I will die from eating peanut butter.


STEIN:  I will die from the gout.


HORAK:  I will never die.


STANGL:  Glicks are immortal.


STEIN:  Immortals are not glicks.


HORAK:  I am an omnibus.


STEIN:  A thought is a red portal, a potato to the south.


STANGL:  Wisely said.


STEIN:  What do you know?


STANGL:  What I do know.


HORAK:  What I do now.  (he humps the chair)


STEIN:  In the beginning, there were sutures.


STANGL:  In the end there were cakes with frosting.


HORAK:  Remember.


STANGL:  Remember.


STEIN:  Remember.


ALL:  Forget.


LIGHTS DOWN
"Subconscious Vomit" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I had a dream where Stangl, Stein and I wrote this sketch. I woke up and wrote down the entire thing. We got a standing ovation when we performed it in my dream. Afterwards, the audience brought out their babies to be decapitated. I guess that having somebody offer their infant child as a sacrifice is a great honor for a No Shame performer.

"Subconscious Vomit" debuted November 8, 2002, with the following cast:

Horak - James Horak
Stangl - Chris Stangl
Stein - Nick Clark


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