"Worlds of Fun and Regret"
Written By Paul Rust
CHARLES stands back-stage right.
CHARLES:
When you first enter Worlds of Fun, the Midwests premiere amusement park, youll be greeted by a large map. On this map, youll see a "You are Here" sticker. Thats well, where you are. (motioning with hand) If you look up and to the right of that, youll see a graphic for the "Oriental Express" quite possibly the deadliest, rootinest-tootinest rollercoaster ever constructed by mere mortals. To the left of that, there is the public restroom icon. And dont worry Im not gonna mention what thats for!
Now, drop your eyes below that is where Im stationed. Its not on the map because they only show the major attractions, but if you want to find me, thats where I am. Thats where Im located. Thats where I do my work.
CHARLES walks center stage, behind a table.
And what do I do? Well, Im an artist. I work in the field of art. I draw caricatures. You know caricatures. (condescendingly) Pictorial representations? In which the subjects distinctive features or characteristics are exaggerated? For comic effect? Yeah, I thought you knew. Theyre pretty popular in amusement parks especially here at Worlds of Fun.
On the wall of my tent here, Ive got some examples of my work - some caricatures I drew of celebrities. And no, sorry to say, these celebrities werent actually here at World of Fun. I just use celebrities as my examples because then people can easily recognize them and see how good I am at capturing their their essence. If I used somebodys grandpa, no one would know. So I use celebrities.
CHARLES points out the caricatures somewhere out in the audience.
For instance, if you look up and to the right, youll see Michael Jordan dunkin a hoop! To the left of that, theres Donald Trump. Just look at that bag of money hes holding. Why, theres so much money in there, its falling out! Now, drop your eyes below and youll see "Mork." You remember "Mork?" What did he used to say? "Nanu? Nanu?" (mystified) Weird.
A lot of people dont recognize "Mork" anymore. Hes always the one people look at and go, "Whos that?" But I keep em anyway for sentimental purposes. He was the first caricature I drew. "Mork" was really popular when I first started working here.
Sometimes Im asked why I decided to do caricatures here at Worlds of Fun. I think it started when I was a little boy. I just loved drawing portraits. You know, some kids liked drawing their bikes or pets or their ideal guns, but I was only interested in portraits.
Everyday, Id find someone to draw and I would sit Indian-style on the floor and look up at em and draw them with my crayons or my pencils or my chalks. I must have drawn a million portraits of my mother. When my mom was too busy or I couldnt find anybody else to pose, Id do self-portraits. Id grab a mirror and Id place it across the room and start drawing. (sets mirror on downstage chair)
In fact, whenever things are slow at my tent, which is very rare, I can assure you (sits on table, looking across at mirror with pencil and pad of paper in hand) I sit and look over at the mirror by the restrooms and I do a self-portrait. (begins sketching self-potrait).
I must have done a thousand portraits. To tell you the truth, I have. Ive kept count. Since age 8, Ive done 1,232 self-portraits. I drew them in grade school, junior high, high school, college. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter. If you lay them side by side, you can actually see me age from self-portrait to self-portrait. Some of them are really small on a napkin or really large on a high canvas. Some of them are bright and cheery or a little dark, kind of melancholy. All of them are different, but all of them are me.
I actually received some notoriety as a young man for my art. All these folks from my college were interested in buying one of my self-portraits. One critic in a magazine said, "I was reinventing a long lost form" and I even I even met my wife at one of my shows.
CHARLES momentarily stops sketching his self-portrait.
My greatest memory though was when I was twenty-two. On my last day of school, my college art professor pulled me aside into his den, which was this beautiful room filled with dark oak and green leather. And he put his hand on my arm and said, "Charles, youve got a lot of talent. You can go places. Right now, theres a lot of people interested in you and your work, but when you leave this place and go out into the world, its gonna be different. Its gonna be tough. But I promise you if you stick with it and dont give up, were going to see some extraordinary things from you."
I nodded my head and thanked him for all his support. Unfortunately I didnt heed his words. (begins sketching again) Oh sure, I went out to New York or Los Angeles or whatever it was with my sketchpad and my chalk, but when nothing happened for six months, I got disappointed and discouraged and moved back home.
Luckily, I was able to get this caricature job here at Worlds of Fun. Dont get me wrong. I know its not the same. Caricatures arent as sophisticated as portraits. No one takes you seriously. You art is just a joke. A crass souvenir. But I still get to do my self-portraits.
CHARLES stops sketching.
You know, Ive often wondered why I do self-portraits. Why I dont draw landscapes or abstract blocks and lines. I think I like... locating myself. (again, motioning with hand) It pulls me over the Timber Wolf and past the restrooms to where I am. And you can draw yourself as who you really are or who you want to be. If you want to feel good, you accentuate the parts of your face you adore and paint yourself in the brightest paint. Or you can draw yourself as you really are
CHARLES flips sketchpad and shows what hes been drawing. Its a dark, smudged, erratically-sketched, and indistinguishable self-portrait.
This is my 2, 333rd self-portrait.
BLACKOUT.
"Worlds of Fun and Regret" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Worlds of Fun and Regret" debuted February 15, 2002, performed by Paul Rust.