Episode Six!!!
Otis, the one-armed man is dead on the groundstage left. Mike OMalley enters, stage right.
MIKE
I thought Id never get rid of that woman! She was a maniac. Sex, sex, sex! Youd think nobody ever heard of intellectual intercourse. Whats this? (checks Otiss pulse.) Oh, my god, hes dead! But, wait, he looks familiar! (Woman is heard off-stage left.)
WOMAN
(Off-stage.)
Yoo-hoo! Oh, Mike? Are you luring me into the woods, you naughty boy?
MIKE
Shit, I gotta get out of here. (Drags Otis stage right.) I better hide this body. (Woman enters.)
WOMAN
Hey, wait!
MIKE
Shit. (He exits.)
WOMAN
(Crosses to body.)
Oh, my goodness, hes killed somebody. How romantic, just like on Dynasty. What would Alexis do? Hide the body to protect her lover, of course. (Starts dragging the body stage left.) I wonder why that good-looking guy would want to kill somebody? (Noises off-right. Annie Javert and the Deputy enter. Woman runs off.)
JAVERT
Look, Deputy! (They rush to the body.)
DEPUTY
Gosh, Detective Javert! Yet another body! Do you suppose that this is another victim of the vile work of Mike OMalley, the cold-blooded killer and thief that youve pursued across five Eastern Iowa counties after he robbed a Maid-Rite in Waterloo of three hundred and eleven dollars and thirty-seven cents and a loaf of bread, killed the owner, killed an innocent farmer in Oelwein and now, here in the humid Iowa night settling over our warm skin like a cool satin sheet with only God in Heaven watching him lay claim to yet another innocent soul?
JAVERT
Looks like it, Deputy, and it turns my stomach. Lets get this body back to the car. (They drag the body back stage right. As the Deputy pulls the curtain back to exit, Mike OMalley falls to the stage, dead.)
DEPUTY
Detective Javert! Whos this?
JAVERT
Well, shit! Its Mike OMalley! Is he dead? (Deputy checks.)
DEPUTY
Sure is, boss.
JAVERT
Now, Im really confused. (Thief runs in, sees them, exits. Woman runs in, sees them, exits. The other one-armed man runs in, sees them, exits.) But, Im going to get to the bottom of this!!! (Otis sits up, looks at them, they look at him. Blackout!!)
FARMER Sean Clark
MIKE O'MALLEY Mike Moran
ANNIE JAVERT Cheryl Snodgrass
ROGER Todd McNerney
OLD JAKE Brad Schnurr
THIEF Dan Gurler
PAT RAMSEY Bonnie Metzgar
ROGER (2) Dean Schmitt
SANDI Michele Sohner
OTIS Frank Ensenberger
ROGER (3) Jeri Schulke
ONE-ARMED MAN Brad Schnurr