You wait and wait, but your True Love never arrives. You're totally devastated, so you decide to go to the mall the next afternoon to cheer yourself up. You do your hair and makeup again, since your beauty supplies are your biggest investment ever.

As you walk through the mall, you see your True Love hanging out by the Erasers Hut. Only then do you realize that he's not a police officer at all. The man whom you once considered to be your one True Love is nothing more than a Rent-a-Cop. You're standing there, your tongue hanging out of your mouth in disgust, when he sees you and sidles over.

"Hey, little lady," he says. "Do we get to go to the 'Big Dance' now?"

"Shyeah," you say. "It was last night, and you completely missed it, bunghole."

"Well," he says with a leer, "is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" He wiggles his eyebrows lasciviously. "You still owe me something for that hundred bucks, you know."

"What-EVER," you say. "You don't even have a real gun, little mister Rent-a-Cop. I only date men with assault weapons."

You turn and stomp away, his heart broken, but your dignity intact.

THE END

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