You decide against attempting to carry the old lady and holler for security. Soon, a security guard comes with a wheelchair and helps the old lady to the first aid station. You follow along to make sure she's ok.

Once they've popped her knee back into place (which was mildly nauseating to observe), the little old lady reaches for her purse.

"You were so kind to me," she says, "that I'd like to give you a little something." You try to refuse, but she insists on giving you a hundred dollars. She also asks for your name and telephone number. You give it to her and head home.

The next day, you get a phone call from a man. He says he's the grandson of the lady you helped in the mall yesterday, and his grandmother kept going on about what a considerate, lovely young woman you are. He says he wants to find out for himself.

Seeing an excellent opportunity, you say, "Well, as a matter of fact, the Big Dance is this weekend. Would you like to go with me?" He gleefully accepts, and you go out to the mall and buy the fanciest dress you can find, what with your newly augmented budget.

When the night of the Big Dance arrives, the old lady's grandson comes to pick you up. You're immediately stunned by his physical beauty, rivaled only by Sean Connery. You think it's a little weird that a 37-year-old wants to go to a high school dance, but like Sean Connery, he has a sexiness that's only enhanced by his advanced years. You had expected him to be a little younger, but you suppose it's reasonable for an 80-year-old woman to have a 37-year-old grandson.

You dance the night away, and after a lingering kiss goodnight, he goes back home to his wife. You sigh happily, having finally found your True Love.

THE END

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