"Go to Helsinki, bunghole," you tell him. He shrugs and goes back to Muffi's room.

When you get home, you start thinking about the policeman you left behind. How will you ever find him again? He could have been your one True Love. You brainstorm ways to find police officers. You start by listing the various places a person sees police officers. You come up with highways, doughnut shops, and jails. Since you don't have a drivers license and doughnuts are sooooo fattening, you decide getting arrested is the logical choice.

You decide to start your life of crime at the mall, which is the last place you saw your True Love the cop. You go into the CD store, pick up the hottest new Alan Jackson CD, stick it into your shirt, and walk out of the store. Nothing happens.

You decide to try again, so you go back into the store and pick up a Garth Brooks CD. With that in one hand and the Alan Jackson in the other, you wave your arms flagrantly and start singing, "I am stealing," to the tune of "Fraire Jacques," at the top of your lungs. As you step out of the store, the bored-looking fellow with the bad skin sitting at the cash register says, "Uh, you wanna come in here and pay for those?"

Somewhat embarrassed, you go back in. Since you don't have any money, you decide to confide in the salesboy. "I'm trying to get arrested," you tell him.

"What kind of idiot are you? What do you think's going to happen if you get arrested?" he asks incredulously.

"Well," you say, "I was hoping to get a date to the Big Dance." You go into the long story about the blood clot, the makeover, and the policeman.

"You're pretty stupid," he says. "If you want, I'll call the cops on you...or if you want to, I'll go to the Big Dance with you."

You think about it. The salesboy isn't all that cute, but at least your record would stay clean. On the other hand, that policeman was sooo dashing.

Do you accept the date with the salesboy? ...or ask him to call the cops?