copyright © 2009 Jeff Goode

Still So Much To Say
"Dugan's Piece"

DUGAN. Here's the plan. When the lights go out, you make for the door. I'll get the puddin'. No, wait! You get the puddin', I'll take out the guard. You got that?

No, wait. I'll get the puddin', you create a distraction with your bedpan. You got a bedpad, don'tcha? Just startin' swingin' it around your head like a lariat, they won't mess with ya. When I'm done with the puddin', I'll get the bedpan, and you get the puddin'.

No, wait. We go out through the window. You make a lariat outta your bedsheets, and I'll lower the puddin' down in a bedpan. But don't you eat it! You better not eat the puddin' before I get down there! Or so help me it'll be the last bedpan you ever eat out of!

No, wait. You drive the getaway car. I'll escape under cover a darkness with the puddin' on a gurney. You know what a gurney is? It's a kind o' milkin' cow.

Now, I'll meet you out front. If the coast is clear, you flash the headlights ten times. Off, on, off, on, off, on, like that. If the coast ain't clear, you flash the lights ten times, in reverse. On, off, on, off, on, off, like that. When the lights go out, I eat as much o' the puddin' as I can hold before they catch me. While you make your getaway. No, wait!

(IF YOU REACH THE END... go back to the BEGINNING OF YOUR MONOLOGUE and start over.)
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