I hate Bob Dylan. Can‘t stand him.

People only pretend to celebrate him because it’s the new cool retro thing to do. Ever since they dragged his ass out recently to do 60 Minutes, everyone is buying his music again.

People love to rave how he’s a "true" provocative artist with an innovative musical style.

(laughs)It’s not a style, it’s an impersonation of a senile, ninety year old black blues singer. And a bad one at that.

Everyone goes on and on how he stirred the masses in the 1960‘s. Shit is what he stirred. Shitty songs that all sound the same. Well, the two or three that I’ve heard anyway.

It’s just him and a guitar! Then another with him, a guitar and a harmonica. I wanna crawl out of my skin.

I have the same reaction to that M.C. Escher guy. Just like Dylan, he also claimed to be an artist.

The man drew a picture of himself looking in a reflective ball. (feigning gasp) "How did he do that? I’m looking at a man looking at himself in a reflective ball who is looking at himself in a reflective ball!!!"

Big deal. I can do the same thing in my bathroom. I have a mirror on the back of the door as well as a large one on the opposite wall. (feigning gasp)"It’s me looking at myself in the mirror taking a shit looking at myself in the mirror taking a shit."

Stupid picture if you ask me. It wasn’t even a painting. In fact he never painted. He only sketched with a pencil. His name should be MC Sketcher. What kind of an artist doesn’t paint? I’ll tell you what kind. The same one that only sings with a guitar.

Now, I admit I know very little of the man’s work but like Dylan I don’t need to experience more. If it smells like crap and looks like crap…

Celine Dion? Now, she my friend is what I call a true provocative artist. Her Las Vegas show is nothing short of spectacular. Combining song, theatre, dance and state-of-the-art technology, she’s an musician in every way.

It’s an amazing what she’s accomplished. A one woman show…with other people. Because let’s face it. It would be boring if it weren’t.

God, I love her!