by Ed Malin
I need your help. Please. Because youre smart about these kind of things.
Yes, shes good looking but no I dont think you should come to the wedding. Oh please dont be offended. No ones coming. Hello. Youre overreacting. No, Juan wont be there. What? I said "No, Juan wont be there." Juan. You remember him. My boyfriend. Yes you did meet him, you just choose not to remember. Juan and I are still together. June itll be 2 long years of twelve long inches.
Yes, Im the one getting married. Well if youd settle down I could explain.
No such luck. Im still gay; gay as the 90s. She wants something only I can give her.
A green card. Right. She may be a contessa in her own country but shes just another terrorist suspect here without my help.
Thats why I called you. How much should I try to get out of her for my services?
You do too know about these things. I know what you did back in the day, hoochie mama. Sorry. Im sorry, Mom, I promise to stop calling you that.THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Performed by Ed Malin