Samurai Scott and the Wizard of SARS
by Scott McGee
VOICE: (Japanese dialect) Welcome to Toyko
(Scott enters carrying suitcase, and looking like a tourist. He is smiling as people rush around with surgical masks on. People are passing by hurriedly and it is mayhem.)
Scott: (yelling out to no one in particular) Konnichiwa, all you Japanese fellers. Im here to partake in your lovely culture. Im talking bout getting me some Sushi and washing it down with some Sake. Watching some Sumo boys go at it while some of dem Geisha Girls tickle my toes with their fancy oils and such. Yessir, yessir just bring on that (making up a word) Fing-tang-sing-sang-gang-slang-pah-dang. Come on!!!
(noticing everyone rushing about with surgical masks on)
(yelling out again) Hey now, what is up with all this George Clooney face-wear out here? What in the high hell is the matter with you little fellers?
(Coughs really hard. Everyone freezes and then runs away screaming in a panic swearing in Japanese.)
(Looks around and shrugs. Spots someone offstage through the audience. Waves to get his attention, and walks offstage through audience as he says his final line.)
Hey Garcon! Garcon! Donde Es Ta La Burger King?!?
(Lights Out)THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Cast: Brian Anderson, Donna Janosik, Mike Rothschild, Brian Rochlin, Knighty, Heather Keller, Dave Berman