copyright © 2003 Scott McGee

Samurai Scott and the Wizard of SARS

by Scott McGee

 

VOICE: (Japanese dialect) Welcome to Toyko

(Scott enters carrying suitcase, and looking like a tourist. He is smiling as people rush around with surgical masks on. People are passing by hurriedly and it is mayhem.)

Scott: (yelling out to no one in particular) Konnichiwa, all you Japanese fellers. I’m here to partake in your lovely culture. I’m talking ‘bout getting me some Sushi and washing it down with some Sake. Watching some Sumo boys go at it while some of dem Geisha Girls tickle my toes with their fancy oils and such. Yessir, yessir… just bring on that (making up a word) Fing-tang-sing-sang-gang-slang-pah-dang. Come on!!!

(noticing everyone rushing about with surgical masks on)

(yelling out again) Hey now, what is up with all this George Clooney face-wear out here? What in the high hell is the matter with you little fellers?

(Coughs really hard. Everyone freezes and then runs away screaming in a panic swearing in Japanese.)

(Looks around and shrugs. Spots someone offstage through the audience. Waves to get his attention, and walks offstage through audience as he says his final line.)

Hey Garcon! Garcon! Donde Es Ta La Burger King?!?

(Lights Out)

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