Richard sits at a desk, feet up, he’s cool. Use a kid for this if you can. We did and it was hilarious. We dressed him like a Humphry Bogart detective. Plus it helped that we had cops, postmen, and firefighters in the audience. He lifted his hat off his eyes to start the speech and then feet to the floor for emphasis.
Hello, my name is Little Richard Cranium.
My friends call me Little Dick.
I DON"T LIKE THAT!
I’m Little Richard (put index fingers a couple of inches apart) and dad is called Big Richard (finger gap widened to 12 inchs)…but…my mom says that’s a lie (fingers back together).
As I said, I’m little Richard Cranium, and I have something to say.
SHUT UP!
Normally I’d say please, but…my mom’s not here.
In school, we learned about politics.
How many people here voted for Bush? (Raise hand, look around, nod, pick target)
Well, my teacher says…
YOU SUCK!
We also learned about the economy. My dad says it’s pretty tough out there.
So, who’s having a tough time paying bills? (Raise hand, look, nod, pick target)
Well, my dad says…
GET A JOB!
Speaking of jobs, I used to want to be a police officer. I bet a lot of you wanted to cops or a fireman or even a mailman when you were younger. ("Look for agreement," NOD)
I decided that I would do something different.
I decided…
TO FINISH SCHOOL!
Well, that’s it for tonight; I’m Little Richard Cranium saying…
SHUT UP AND GOODNIGHT!
Lights out
THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Exact date unknown.
Performed at No Shame Cutler Ridge sometime in 2003.
(Possibly a recurring character?)
Possible dates:
Library]
