Give Space A Chance
Performed by Greg Hays and Lee Moyer 3/1/02
Written February14-26 by Lee Moyer
Blue Text is Gregs
Black Text is Lees
[Lights up on Greg and Lee behind two podia]
My friend Greg and I are here tonight to talk to you about Power.
Specifically, the raw power of nothing.
Physicists today wrestle with the problem of missing matter in the universe.
They tell us the universe is made from a LOT of nothing.
I guess thats why they call it space.
We start our lives with nothing and return to nothing again.
The Arabs popularized the Zero as a symbol to represent nothing.
The profundity of Nothingness
The pause that refreshes
The silence
The pregnant pause
The empty space It gets NO respect. Certainly not in American schools.
Everyone memorizes the alphabet as kids. Heck theres even a jaunty little song on the subject. But no one cares about the space.
Not like the other letters of the alphabet.
Letterman was the hero of my youth. Remember Letterman?
You mean David Letterman?
No. LETTER man. He was on the Electric Company.
Ah, the show for those kids who thought Sesame Street wasnt quite edgy enough. Educational, but hip
Right. Letterman was an amazing character. He could turn wine into Twine, or Whine, or whatever he needed at the time. He was so cool (and he spoke with Willy Wonkas voice which is really cool too...).
I always liked Silent E.
Silent E was right there too. Absolutely.
Who can turn a cub into a cube?
Who can turn a tub into a tube?
It's elementary- For Silent E.
But though we love these characters from our youths, there was never a Spaceman, and we never learned to appreciate the power of space when we were children.
My stoner roomates used to tell me; "Space is awesome, man. Really awesome".
Why without the proper spaces, Greg might say to me:
"Why, what a SUPERB owl."
And Id never know he was a big New England Patriots fan trying to talk about the Superbowl. Superb Owl, Superbowl. All the difference in the world
Without proper spacing, Lee might say:
"I think I need to see the Rapists because Im Code Pendant"
And Id wonder if he was on crack.
But of course he meant to say "Therapists" and "Codependant"
But the real importance of spaces became clear when the first double features started to appear. And without Spaces, all capitalized movie titles blur, one to the next.
Now, a quick history of some of those Double Features:
The Sand Pebbles On the Beach
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
The Russians are Coming.The Bride Wore Black
and Selected Shorts.Goodbye Columbus,
Hello DollyThe 3 Faces of Eve:
The Good, the Bad and the UglyWhat did you do in the war, Daddy?
I Was a Male War BridePsycho
StepmomThelma and Louise;
Dead AgainHanna and her Sisters
Extremities.Stop or My Mother Will Shoot
JFK.Someone To Watch Over Me
Raising ArizonaGodzilla
The Prince of EgyptBenny and Joon
Free WillyBig Daddy
TarzanPitch Black
ShaftChocolat;
What Women Want
Adventures in Babysitting
The Witches of EastwickTheres Something about Mary
Saving Private RyanAll the Pretty Horses
BlowThat Thing You Do
BoundStarship Troopers
Private PartsWhat Lies Beneath
Erin BrockovichAnd the Triple Features:
Men in Black
Mimic The PostmanBatman & Robin
Contact George of the JungleAnd the Quadruple Feature.
Pokemon:
The Bachelor, The Best Man, The Bone CollectorThank you. Youve been a kind audience.
(Both step to the right of the podium and bow, right hand open on chest)
[Blackout]
"Give Space A Chance" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
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