copyright © 2003 Joshua Peskay

The Interview


Joshua Putnam Peskay



Lights up.

Boss waits onstage. He has a clipboard and pen. Looking over a resume. There is knock on the door.

Boss: Come right in.

Interview enters. Eager, smiling, almost giddy.

Boss: Ahh, you must be…

Interview: Yes. Yes I am. Definitely. Yes.

Boss: Excellent. It is a pleasure to…

Interview: Likewise. Completely.

Boss: Great, why don’t you take a…

She sits

Boss: Seat.

Interview: Thank you very much. I really appreciate your taking time to see me. Things being, you know, how they are.

Boss: Not at all. Well, let’s get down to it then, shall we?

Interview: Yes. Lets.

Boss: My first question involves your skills. Do you…

Interview: Yes. Oh yes. Definitely. Yes.

Boss: Great. And how about…

Interview: I’m practically an expert.

Boss: I’m very glad to hear that. That’s excellent indeed.

Interview: Isn’t it!

Boss: My my. Next question; Do you…

Interview: No. I can’t. I just can’t. It’s horrible really.

Boss: It’s not that bad.

Interview: I’ve tried, but I just can’t.

Boss: It’s not a required skill.

Interview: No?

Boss: No. In fact, now that I think about it, it’s completely irrelevant.

Interview: I could learn.

Boss: Without a doubt. I’m sure you could. There’s no question in my mind.

Interview: I think I know of a school that I could…

Boss: It’s really not necessary. Let’s move…

Interview: On. Sure.

Boss: Great. I’m so glad we…

Interview: Understand.

Boss: Each.

Interview: Other.

Boss: So.

Interview: Well

Boss: It’s really…

Both: Refreshing.

Boss: Moving on. Are you familiar with scenarios?

Interview: Gosh, I don’t know. I’m familiar with some things, but not as familiar with others.

Boss: I’ll describe a situation to you, and you tell me what you would do.

Interview: Oh, like a hypothetical situation?

Boss: You could say that.

Interview: I just did.

Boss: Let’s say we were working together.

Interview: I’m happy to say that. In fact, I’m imagining it right now.

Boss: Excellent. We’re working together, and you bring me a sausage biscuit for breakfast.

Interview: How nice of me!

Boss: Indeed. And I eat the sausage biscuit. And I enjoy it.

Interview: That sounds like a lovely situation.

Boss: But, later that morning I have an important meeting with the board. And you’re in the meeting.

Interview: I’m in the meeting?

Boss: You are in the meeting.

Interview: I’m in the meeting!

Boss: Definitely. Absolutely. Hypothetically. And as we’re in the meeting, you notice that I have a bit of sausage stuck in my teeth.

Interview: No!

Boss: Yes.

Interview: Hypothetically.

Boss: It could happen. And soon, I have to present some charts and graphs, but I’ve forgotten the charts…

Interview: No!

Boss: And the graphs.

Interview: That’s a horrible situation. Horrible!

Boss: What would you do?

Interview: Hypothetically?

Boss: Yes.

Interview: I’d have to invite you into a private office…

Boss: Under what pretext?

Interview: Under the pretext of an important message.

Boss: Oh, that’s good.

Interview: (approaching Boss) And then I’d…

At this point the interview kisses the boss passionately, and they grope and roll around on the floor a bit. After a moment of this, the interview rises, spiting a bit of sausage away.

Interview: And then I’d give you your charts. And your graphs.

Boss: Very…

Interview: Impressive

Boss: If I had spinach stuck in my teeth, would you do the same thing?

Interview: I’m not sure. Like I said, I’m familiar with some things, but not as familiar with others.

Boss: Do you think you could…

Interview: Learn? Yes. I could learn. The question is…

Both: Could You?

Lights down


The pieces was written for one guy and one gal, but could be cast differently without a big problem.

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