Stephanie (or The Hardest Lesson)
ANDREW: God, this is a mistake. Toni, I need to tell you something, and if you stop me midway, I might not be able to get through with it, so I need you to be quiet for the next minute or so. When I went home last week, I had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. See, one of the things thats allowed me to stay your friend for so long is the knowledge thateven if I triedId never have a shot with a girl like you. I mean youre way up here. Youre quality. Down here: thats where the girls I can get are. But, over the last couple of weeks I get the feeling that thats changing. Youve been smiling more at me, youve been laughing a little harder at my jokeseven the ones I dont think are that funnyand youve started looking at me in a different way. It may just be my imagination running away with me or wishful thinking, but I sincerely hope not. But if youre not gonna follow through with it, then you cant be doing these things to me. You cant be doing that. If you keep flirting with me, the Im gonna get hope. If I get too much hope, then Im gonna ask you out. If I ask you out, youre gonna say "no." When you say "no", Im gonna be heartbroken. Really, Toni, I will be heartbroken. I like you too much to be rejected by you. It will kill me inside.
TONI: I might not.
TONI: I might not say "no."
ANDREW: You see? Thats what Im talking about. Thats hope. Dont do that to me unless theres really a chance at there being an "us". Ive known you for a year and a half, weve been friends for a year of that, and real good friends for that last six months; I find myself liking you more and more all the time. Its the impossibility of there being an "us" that kept me hanging around, because I knew it wasnt worth trying for, because if I did, the friendship would be over.
TONI: So why are you telling me this now?
ANDREW: Toni, you know me well. You know me better than most people. I dont just go up and talk to girls. I never just go up and talk to girls, but from the first second I saw you, I had to go up and talk to you. Halfway through your first sentence I knew I liked you, and Ive wanted to ask you out ever since. But theres always been a boyfriend, or some guy you were dating, or some guy you liked. That guy has never been me, and I feel thats a mistake. As I said, you know better than most people. Youve seen my strengths, and you know my weaknesses. Ive lain myself open for you to look inside me. You know Id make a good boyfriend. You know I would care for you, that Id never hurt you. Id never cheat on you: I couldnt; I wouldnt even if I could. Why not me? Really? Think of a reason; if not for me, then for yourself. Im kind, Im considerate, Im smart, Im funny, Im prompt, Ive got decent dental hygiene, Im a better than average dancer. Whats wrong with me? Is it the hair? Ill grow it out. Is it the glasses? Ill get contacts. Is it the weight? Ill lose it. Or is that Im just not attractive enough? Is that it? Am I just not cute enough for you?
ANDREW: Thats not fair, Toni. I dont like you because youre beautiful. I like you because youre you. Toni. The fact that youre gorgeous is a total bonus of liking you, but its not the reason.
TONI: You really think Im gorgeous?
ANDREW: Fuck you! You know youre gorgeous. And if you dont then you should. And you should have someone like me to be there and remind you of it every chance that arises. You once told me that you thought true love "is loving someone not despite their foibles, but because of them." Toni, as I said before, you know me well. You know how cynical I am, and what an asshole I can be. I dont like most people, and even the ones I do wear on me constantly. But you dont. And you never have. I cant imagine you ever will. Nothing you do annoys me in the least, and every time I discover one of your idiosyncrasies I find myself liking you more. If what you said about love is true, then I amif I havent alreadyfalling in love with you. Im happy being your friend, and I realize that this more than likely ends that friendship, but Id never forgive myself later in life if dont take this chance while I had it. Youve got to be honest with me now, Toni; and for gods sake, please be honest with yourself as well. Tell me: do you have anyeven in the minutefeelings for me?
[Silence for a few seconds]
TONI: Im sorry, Andrew. No.
[Andrews head slowly lowers.]
Lights down."Stephanie (or The Hardest Lesson)" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Stephanie (or The Hardest Lesson)" debuted March 1, 2002, performed by A Juhl, T Wilson.