copyright © 2003 Todd Ristau

A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
(another "Here's what I think" piece by Archie Levine)

By Todd Ristau

(lights up on a man in a suit seated at a desk)

Hello, my name is Archie Levine...and this is what I think.

I for one am glad we invaded Iraq. I'm extra glad we seemed to have no coherent plan and still kicked ass. Saddam's law was barbaric and murderous, and enslaved his people.

Much much better to go in and remove all laws so that the people can murder and butcher each other, loot hospitals, burn apartments, cannabalize police and other emergency vehicles, and destroy museums and all those those wretched antiquities which only allowed them to boast they were the cradle of civilization.

Where is your civilization now, towel head?

Who gives a shit if we were obligated by the Hague convention to protect the museums and libraries? Like Rummy said, "Stuff Happens." That is brilliant. Nothing says diplomacy like a slogan you can wear on a t-shirt. Donald, where can I get my "Freedom isn't tidy" T-shirt?

The real hero to me is the ordinary soldier. You know the one I'm talking about. The one who, against orders to assist in maintaining any kind of civil order himself, was moved by concience to give three Bagdad doctors some assault rifles so that they could shoot the looters we aren't allowed to.

If only we could get all those looters to go inside the Palestine Hotel, then maybe we could do something, but they just won't cooperate with the US Army. Why?

Because they are evil!

(lights out)

"A LETTER TO THE EDITOR" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

"A LETTER TO THE EDITOR" debuted at No Shame Verona on April 12, 2003. Performed by Todd Ristau.

Performed at No Shame Charlottesville on April 18, 2003.


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