"Yellow Harvest" By Mike Rothschild At LIGHTS UP, Boy and Girl are walking into boy's apartment. Boy walks with a noticeable limp. BOY Well, this is my place. GIRL It's nice. It's cozy. BOY It's tiny. But it's home. You want a drink? I have beer and... beer. GIRL I'll have a beer then. Boy limps over and grabs a beer from offstage. GIRL (cont'd) Can I ask you, something? I wanted to know how you got your limp. BOY I was shot. GIRL Oh my God! What happened? BOY I took a bullet in 'Nam. GIRL Vietnam? You look pretty young to have been in the shit. BOY No, I wasn't in the War. I was there last month on business. GIRL Ohhh. Why were you there? BOY The harvest. GIRL So you work as like an agricultural missionary or something? BOY No, no. I harvest people. GIRL You harvest...people? BOY The poor, homeless and feeble can be harvested and turned into all sorts of useful products for middle America. (TURNS TO AUDIENCE) From the skin, we make footballs, lampshades and covers for expensive cars. The organs are processed into the hot dogs you eat at your local bar. The indigent have many more uses than begging for change and screaming about Jesus. The boy turns back to the girl, who is aghast. GIRL That's evil. Who would buy humans? BOY The usual. Starbucks, Disney, the Salvation Army. Rich, white people can make bank off poor, yellow people. Vietnam is full of them! She gets up. GIRL You're a horrible person and I hope you burn in hell. Don't call me. He stands up after her. BOY Wait. I shouldn't have told you. Not everyone can handle it, but you're special. If you can put my job aside, I'd love if you stayed and had a drink with me. Please? GIRL Well...there's so many poor people. If corporations can clean up the streets and make a profit for their shareholders, who am I to protest? She's about to open the can... BOY That beer was made from the blood of poor children. GIRL Oh god! She runs away, off stage. BOY We don't kill everyone! Some we sell into slave labor! (PAUSE) I really do have an evil job. But it's better than being an actor. BLACKOUTTHIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
Performed by Mike Rothschild, Traci Allanson