copyright © 2006 Mike Rothschild

                       "Movie Reviews with Mike and Jeff"

                               By Mike Rothschild



                                   LIGHTS UP on Mike and Jeff.



                                   JEFF

            So I went to "Munich" the other day.



                                   MIKE

            Just so we're clear, you mean "Munich" the movie, not Munich

            the city, right?



                                   JEFF

            Yeah, the movie. Did you think I meant the city?



                                   MIKE

            I just didn't want to get into a thing where you were talking

            about the city and I was talking about the movie or you were

            talking about the movie and I was talking about the city.



                                   JEFF

            I'm talking about the movie. Are you talking about the city?



                                   MIKE

            I'm not talking about either one. You're talking about the

            movie.



                                   JEFF

            Right. We can talk about the city, if you want.



                                   MIKE

            I've never been there.



                                   JEFF

            Neither have I. 



                                   MIKE

            Then how can we talk about it?



                                   JEFF

            I don't know, you're the one who brought it up.



                                   MIKE

            You brought up the movie and...ok, I'm stopping this right

            now. Tell me what you thought of "Munich."



                                   JEFF

            I just told you, I've never been there.



                                   MIKE

            THE MOVIE! "MUNICH" THE MOVIE!



                                   JEFF

            Oh, right. It was ok. Lots of violence, explosions, gun

            fights. A naked pregnant chick. That was kind of cool.



                                   MIKE

            That was the main character's wife.



                                   JEFF

            I wouldn't kick her out of bed. Not that I'd kick a pregnant

            woman, because she'd probably get really protective...



                                   MIKE

            Stop. So, overall, it's a good movie?



                                   JEFF

            Sure, except for the glaring historical inaccuracies. 



                                   MIKE

            That's a matter of debate. Some say the targets of the

            Israeli assassin team weren't involved in the Munich plot and

            the killings were basically done for the sake of vengeance. 



                                   JEFF

            I found an even bigger historical inaccuracy. The assassins

            didn't exist at all.



                                   MIKE

            Well, they are composite characters...



                                   JEFF

            Come on, Mike. Everyone knows Jews don't kill people. That

            was totally made up for the movie. 



                                   MIKE

            What are you talking about? Jews kill people! 



                                   JEFF

            Nope. Jews do not kill people.



                                   MIKE

            That's ridiculous. Israel has a massive army and one of the

            most feared special ops units in the world.



                                   JEFF

            Then why would they hire James Bond to kill the terrorists?



                                   MIKE

            Bond?



                                   JEFF

            James Bond! He was one of your so-called "Israeli hitmen."



                                   MIKE

            No, that's Daniel Craig, the actor playing the new James

            Bond. He's not really James Bond.



                                   JEFF

            Well yeah, he was undercover. He can't just go around telling

            people who he is. 007 doesn't do that kind of thing.



                                   MIKE

            007 isn't real. But the Israeli assassins were real. 



                                   JEFF

            Why don't we put that aside for the moment, since you're

            obviously having delusions.



                                   MIKE

            Obviously.



                                   JEFF

            Another huge inaccuracy was the Israeli leader.



                                   MIKE

            What about her?



                                   JEFF

            She was a woman!



                                   MIKE

            Yeah, Golda Meir. She was the Israeli Prime Minister.



                                   JEFF

            Come on, that's totally unbelievable. What nation would elect

            a woman as its leader? That's just absurd.



                                   MIKE

            I really like how in the space of three minutes, you've

            managed to insult Jews, pregnant women and women in general.

            By all means, keep going.



                                   JEFF

            I'm just trying to clear up the historical record. It's not

            like Spielberg's other movies aren't rife with inaccuracy.



                                   MIKE

            Like what?



                                   JEFF

            Ok, "War Of The Worlds?" Have you ever seen an alien tripod?

            I know I haven't. "AI?" Where's my robot? And in "The

            Terminal" Tom Hanks is from a country that doesn't even

            exist! How can someone be from a country that doesn't exist?



                                   MIKE

            Those movies are fiction! They never pretended to be based in

            fact! "Munich" is based on historical events, but with

            dramatic license. What's so hard to believe about that?



                                   JEFF

            There's no getting around the historically accepted fact that

            Jewish people don't kill people. You're Jewish, right?



                                   MIKE

            Yeah...



                                   JEFF

            Then kill me. 



                                   MIKE

            Gladly.



                                   Mike gets up, as if to kill Jeff.



                                   JEFF

            What are you doing?



                                   MIKE

            Killing you.



                                   JEFF

            I didn't really mean "kill me."



                                   MIKE

            No, no. You wanted me to kill you, so I'm going to kill you.

            I'm going to prove to you that Jews are just as capable of

            murder as anyone else by choking you to death!



                                   JEFF

            I thought Jews were a non-violent, logical people.



                                   MIKE

            No, you're thinking of Vulcans.



                                   JEFF

            And I suppose Jews aren't covered in fur and live on a planet

            of giant trees.



                                   MIKE

            Wookies.



                                   JEFF

            Man, I'm really confused. I need a vacation. Maybe I'll go to

            Munich. 



                                   BLACKOUT

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