worn-out chicken blues

by John Shirley

Announcer (as flatly as possible):

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Club Indigo presents Reginald, the Rejected Rooster.

The announcer offers some half-hearted applause as lights (preferably blue) come up slowly on Reginald, a washed-up jazz club chicken, who takes a half-smoked cigarette from his mouth and grinds it out on the floor with his right foot, then clears his throat.
Reginald:

Thank you, (insert name of actor playing the announcer), thank you so much.

Reginald waits for the announcer to leave the stage, noisily clears his throat again, coughs loudly, takes a swig of something from a nearby table, gargles and swallows, and then begins to, um, sing — BADLY — but with a defined rhythm.

Daddy was a rooster;

mama was a hen;

bothathem’d a-pity

the shape that i’m in.

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

My feathers are ruffled,

and my comb is drooped;

baby, lemme tell ya

that this bird is pooped!

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

(chorus)

I sing the

worn-out chicken,

worn-out chicken blues —

I’m startin’ to go bald,

and my neck is stiff;

don’t know how much longer

I can deal with this.

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

My poor legs are tired,

and my knees are weak;

my back is achin’, and

I got a sore beak.

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

(repeat chorus)

a-chick, a-chick, a-worn-out-chicken,

a-chick, a-chick, a-worn-out-chicken blues —

My old wings are ragged,

and it’s hard to fly;

all the pretty young hens

just walk right on by.

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

It feels like my feet are

stuck in a mire;

feels like I’m headed for

the chicken fryer!

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

(repeat chorus)

My mind will, but my body won’t.

My cock-a-doodle-do just don’t!

I sing the worn-out chicken blues.

(repeat chorus)

I sing the

worn-out chicken,

worn-out chicken bloo —

ooo — ooo — ooo — ooo —

ooo — ooo — ooo — ooo — ooo —

ooo’s —

Yeah. Yeah, whatever.

Lights down quickly.
"worn-out chicken blues" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

March 8, 2003 - No Shame Verona

Performed by John Shirley and Carie Marguerite Donnelson.

April 18, 2003 - No Shame Charlottesville

Performed by John Shirley.

September 19 & 20, 2003 - Best of No Shame 6 (Charlottesville)

October 17, 2003 - No Shame Roanoke

Performed by John Shirley in rooster costume and introduced by Sean Nitchmann

May 30, 2004 - No Shame at Piccolo Spoleto (Charleston)

Performed by John Shirley.

September 20, 2004 - No Shame (Staunton)

Performed by John Shirley with introduction by (?).

June 5, 2005 - National Best of No Shame at Piccolo Spoleto (Charleston)

Performed by John Shirley, Amy Alls

[Back to

Library]