Marco Polo
by Tom Turner
(One man stands alone. He addresses the audience)
Man: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus? No, no, no. Its much worse then that. The truth is that men and women are like a game of MARCO? POLO! You know the game you used to play in the pool when you were a kid. One kid the "Marco" would close his eyes and the other "Polo" would hide around the pool. The person with their eyes closed would yell out "MARCO?", and then the other would yell out "POLO!" So the poor "MARCO" bastard would try to move toward the sound and try to tag the "POLO". This goes on forever until the "POLO" gets bored and lets the "Marco" TAG her.
This is exactly what dating is like. You go to a bar, get set up by friends, walk your dog whatever and you yell out "MARCO"? Maybe someone yells out "POLO"! So you now have someone to play the game and you take off after them.
At dinner you take a turn at being "MARCO" and shes "POLO" then you pretend what she is saying is interesting until you get close enough to tag her and then she becomes "MARCO" and youre "POLO". You both go back and forth until the next thing you know youre having sex! And come on if thats not a game of "MARCO? POLO!" then what is. Theres lots of liquid involved, with the condom on its like having your eyes closed, your both kind of flailing around
"MARCO? Is it in?"
"POLO! Not yet."
"MARCO? Am I doing it right?"
"POLO! Close but youre on my HAIR!"
Then comes the biggie. The "MARCO? POLO!" of all "MARCO? POLOS!"
"MARCO? Will you marry me?"
"POLO! Alright! We can play this game for LIFE or at least 3 to seven years."
Now the real fun begins because new rules are added. Not only do you have to keep your eyes closed but sometimes they decide not to yell back "POLO" after youve yelled "MARCO"?
"MARCO? MARCO? Marco? marco? Are you there?"
"ALRIGHT POLO! But, if you really knew me youd be able to find me. You would just know where I was without my ever having to say POLO!"
The hard part about the game "MARCO? POLO!" is that its always played with your eyes closed. This is fun for a while even exciting because you dont know where youre at or who the person youre chasing is. Sometimes when you opened your eyes you found a best friend or that girl who developed earlier then the other girls, and sometimes if you were really lucky you accidentally got to touch one of her firm young boobs. But a lot of times you ended up touching you fat cousin Larrys because he was too slow to get away. And now you have to stand there in the cold pool hoping someone really cool will touch you or more often than not, running for your life from fat cousin Larry.
Oh one last thing, remember that "MARCO? POLO!" is played until youre all wrinkly and prune-y. See, the game doesnt end until youre forced to get out of the pool.
MARCO? MARCO?
NOTE:
If/when someone yells Polo:
If its a guy: "GREAT, I got a fat cousin Larry!"
Girl: " MARRrrRRRRCOOooooOO!" Everyone: "Thank You!"
Copyright ã 2002 Thomas Turner
"Marco Polo" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"Marco Polo" debuted November 8, 2002, performed by Scott McGee.