"My God" By, Dave Ulrich Lights up. MICHELLE sits in a chair center stage. MICHELLE This woman at work -- one of those sickly sweet ones. Always positive. She tells me in confidence today... She says: "You know, you can rarely have the three aspects in your life all in alignment. Remember, two out of three ain't bad." MICHELLE makes a face. MICHELLE She further explained that the three things are your career, your love life, and your living situation. So I examined them for me. Each of them. My career? Well, let's see, I'm expected to sell off most of the hours of my life to be abused by some boy's club that wants to fuck me, or fuck me? Yeah. I'll put that down as misaligned. My love life? I don't get a lot of warmth wrapping my arms around my couch throw pillow and my VCR. So no. My living situation? Let's see, I work tirelessly just to afford living alone so I'll never have another roommate who thinks playing with her 80 pound dog in the nude is something I care to witness. So I'm misaligned on all counts. And what did Miss Positive tell me to do? Pray. That's right. She actually suggested that I pray. Easy for her to say, she's obviously got a God. I, on the other hand, do not. (pause) No wait. That's not true. (a beat) Yes. Yes I do have one. Fried chicken. Fried chicken is my God. It's delicious, delightful and it moves me. Tastes good, it's satisfying and it brings me peace. And isn't that a God's duty? Bring peace and satisfaction? Leave a good taste in your mouth? Fire and brimstone or fried chicken? I'll take fried chicken every time. (a beat) And corn up Miss Positive's cob. Blackout. THE END"My God" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR
"My God" debuted January 10, 2003 with the following cast:
MICHELLE - Michelle Garb